Good Communication, Understanding Differences & Building Successful Relationships

Parent and professional communication and

Relationship building in the context of the

Medical Home…photographs of Mars and Venusas seen through the filtered lenses of aparent/professional State ImplementationDirector

Co-Presenter:

Jennifer Bolden Pitre, M.A. J.D.

Director of Integrated Systems for CYSHCN and CYASD/DD

Family Resource Specialist

Statewide Parent Advocacy Network (SPAN)

856.522.9391

jbpitre.span.nj@gmail.com

Almost 20 years ago, John Gray, Ph.D. published a book

entitled Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus that because a

phenomenal bestseller. In the book, he explained how to improve

communication by working towards understanding the differences

between men and women, and how to use the information to change

relationships permanently.

John Gray said: Men and Women have intrinsically

different communication styles....because they are from

different planets!

As Parent Leaders, we know that we have an intrinsically

different communication styles and we have argued for

years that the Medical professionals don’t communicate to

us or with us...it is like apples and oranges.

Apples are fixed, stable, hard fruits

Oranges are soft, pliable, flexible fruits

with a rubber like exterior which houses

many layers ultimately enclosing a soft

fruity interior.

Good Communication starts with appreciating &

understanding differences. Enjoy and

Appreciate the view and Embrace Difference.

Starting Points:

Start on the same page

Start with same terms

Start with same definitions

Start with same objectives

Start with same measures

Start with same outcomes

Children and Youth with Special Healthcare Needs:

(CYSHCN) Definition:

The Federal Maternal and Child Health Bureau defines

Children with special health care needs (CSHCN) as:

“those [children] who have or are at increased risk for a chronic physical, developmental, behavioral, or emotional condition and who also require health and related services of a type or amount beyond that required by children generally

Example: Universal CYSHCN State

Implementation Grant

Terminology

1. Families of children and youth with special health care

needs partner in decision making at all levels and are

satisfied with the services they receive;

2. Children and youth with special health care needs receive

coordinated ongoing comprehensive care within a

medical home;

2. Families of CSHCN have adequate private and/or public

insurance to pay for the services they need;

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The 6 Core Outcomes for CYSHCN

The 6 Core Outcomes for CYSHCN

4. CYSHCN Children are screened early and

continuously for special healthcare needs;

5. Community-based services for children and youth

with special health care needs are organized so

families can use them easily;

6. Youth with special health care needs receive the

services necessary to make transitions to all

aspects of adult life, including adult health care, work,

and independence.

Universal language continued:

Medical Home

• A Medical Home is an approach to providing comprehensive primary care that facilitates partnership between patients, physicians, and families. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) believes that every child deserves a medical home, where care is accessible, continuous, comprehensive, patient- and family-centered, coordinated, compassionate, and culturally effective. From: http://www.medicalhomeinfo.org/about/medical_home/index.aspx

What could possibly be misunderstood?

We had the same terms, definitions, goals,

outcomes and measures...

Intrinsically different Communication styles:

Medical Doctors:

• Logical

• Analytic

• Problem Solvers

• Orientated around efficiency

• Quick fixers…short on time

• Linear thinkers

• Empirical thinkers (data driven & evidence based)

Intrinsically different Communication styles:

Parents:

• Parents tend to multi-task

• Global thinkers vs. single/analytical step

• Value thinkers

• Problem solvers, but physical processors

• Emotion based thinkers

• Experience based as opposed to fact based analysis

• Life experiences are more persuasive than studies

• Connectors/bonding agents

• Value stability vs. change/flux

We had the same terms, definitions, goals,

outcomes and measures...and want to help

the children...improve outcomes...

The view from the other side...may be obstructed by

communication DIFFERENCES here are some stories from

the field...

How to work WITH communication differences and

have a “win-win” result for the CORE TEAM:

• Know your staff

• Be prepared to take yourself out of the equation.

• Embrace Strength based leadership principles

• Use Cultural Brokers

• Use Educational Brokers

• Use/develop “bridges” to the community.

• Listen first. Speak second.

• Repeat what you hear/heard at meetings

• Pick a role model and “borrow” a skill you admire

Somethings in life will never change.

But our response CAN change.

Mars will always be Mars and Venus will always be Venus.

Once a Parent, always a parent....but oh my! How our roles are

evolving!

Good Communication, Understanding Differences &

Building Successful Relationships

The start of something new bringsthe hope of something great.Anything is possible. There is onlyone you. And you will pass this wayonly once.

Do it right.

Dream big.