Goldilocks Principle

7/23/2019 Goldilocks Principle

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The Goldilocks ruleby Richard Unger

This is the original unedited version of Richard Ungers Goldilocks rule.Only about half of the following text made it into the nal version of

Richards book!ife"rints. #eci$hering life $ur$ose from your nger$rints.

Axiom One of Soul Psychology: Experience Reuired

Soul Psychology is based on the premise that the earth plane is an

arena for advancing souls to grow in consciousness. In order to

accomplish this goal, advancing souls seek experience.

This is not a new idea. Many religions and philosophical systems take thesame position, in whole or in part. If your worldview differs, please adust

!ife"rints language to suit your own. I like the !advancing souls"description because it offers a convenient way to picture what

fingerprints are saying. Instead of calling fingerprints a map of the soul s!ourney, we could simply label them a code book to one s core!

psychology. That works ust as well.

#dvancing souls seek experience$ simple enough% but a closerexamination reveals seven key principles that will make it easier to

understand the &ife Purpose Maps that follow.

Principle "# $ The life goal is %he experiencing process i%self&

Principle '( states that the life goal, from a soul level, is the

experiencing process itself, not a specific outcome. #s stated earlier, if

your &ife Purpose is &eadership, it is not necessarily your lifeassignment to become President of the )nited States, or president of

anything else for that matter. Then again, perhaps a presidency is inyour future. *ou will find out as your life movie unfolds. The important

thing is to inhabit your &eadership +onsciousness, dealing with

whatever comes your way. That is where your deepest meaning can be

found.


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This is a central tenet of Soul Psychology$ your &ife Purpose is not

about creating results that match an idealied picture of how your life is


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supposed to look. *our &ife Purpose may very well surprise

you. #s a

matter of fact, it would be surprising if it didn t. So what does it!

mean

then to have a &eadership &ife Purpose- It means two things$first, it is

in your interest to gain in experience so that your

&eadership

+onsciousness has full opportunity to emerge% and second, if

and when

it does, you are challenged to live with a wide range of

experiences in

this realm.

Principle "' $ One!s experiences al(ays seek %o unlockone!s )ife Purpose&

To continue with the example of &eadership as the &ife Purpose,

then,

given time and opportunity, the leader element within you will

naturally

find a form of expression ust by you being you. This is notnecessarily

as easy as it might sound, as we shall see. onetheless, The

&eader is

inside you and always has been. It merely awaits sufficient

experiential

material to reach a kindling point where its presence becomes

obvious

and everyday. /hen this happens you can say that you havereached

the main se0uence of your &ife Purpose. To illustrate, let1s look

at two

people reacting in their own way to a similar set of

circumstances.


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2ob from 2oise has a &eadership Purpose and a history of

abuse. 3is

father beat him, physically and emotionally. #t school, 2ob got

bullied by

the bigger kids% even his parakeet showed him no respect.Twenty five

years later, while accepting the +itien of the *ear #ward, 2ob

credits

his early experiences as pivotal in his development. 3aving been

on the

wrong end of the stick in his early life, his threshold for stoic

resignation

gone, he could not sit idly by watching one more instance of

inustice.

This time, someone needed to set things right. Surprising

himself with

his assertion, 2ob rose to the occasion and took the actions that

led to

this award. ow that he has gained some standing in the

community he

would like to dedicate himself to community service. 2obbecomes

2oise1s mayor 4/hy not- It1s ust a story.5 /hen he

exercises his

&eadership +onsciousness, the application is appropriate

to the

circumstances. 6thers1 needs are taken into account in the

context of

the larger picture. +onsidering 2ob1s prior experiences, howcould he do

otherwise-


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7red from 8ast 7rasalia had a similar childhood. 3owever 7red

moves in the opposite direction$ he becomes a power abuser. 3e

is too controlling in relationships. 3e has power battles with

legitimate authorities in the world and at work. 3e treats his

parakeet badly. Then an incident occurs that changes his wholelife around. 7red learns first hand what too much power applied

unconsciously can do. The details are not important here. The

important point is 7red1s awakening.

96h my :od, what have I done-9 It hurts 7red deeply to realie

the pain

he has caused. 3e makes amends where amends need

making. 3ebecomes particularly sensitive to any possibility that his

actions may

cause discomfort in others. /hen life presents 7red with

leadership

opportunities, having learned from past mistakes, 7red 4still

assertive

but now empathetic as well5 is better 0ualified for the bigger role

on the

larger stage that was outlined in his fingerprints before he wasborn.

In our illustration, similar circumstances yielded different

experiences but both led to the emergence of a &eadership &ife

Purpose. 6f course, there is always the alternate possibility$ 2ob

and 7red learn nothing from their earlier experiences.

)nconsciously trudging through life, they make no progress

towards the &eadership Purpose they share in common. If thiswere the case, 2ob and 7red would both live in their &ife

Purpose Inverses 4powerlessness for 2ob, tyranny for 7red5. If

they live this type of life long enough, maybe they will

eventually gain some momentum forward on their life paths,

but there are no guarantees. The planet is plenty big enough


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for any person to stay in The 2ig :aping 3ole 4life without

meaning5 for an indefinite period of time.

The more likely outcome for 2ob and 7red, however, is

somecombination of the examples given. &ife being the messy

business it is,

rarely does a straight;line diagram describe a person1s life. In

retrospect,

we can see The &eader slowly going through its developmental

phases

in both 2ob and 7red, while in the short term each ig and ag

seem

random and all consuming. The thing to remember is

that any

experience can serve a person1s progress. Too much power

applied

unconsciously or too little power employed when more would

have been

better$ either option is capable of generating uncomfortable

outcomes

while still advancing a person s &ife Purpose. +onversely,!either could

become a life;sied trap lasting for decades. In a similar vein, if

2ob and

7red have wonderful parents and wonderful bosses who use

power


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fairly and effectively, these experiences could also be models to

work from on their leadership life paths. 6r, alternately, 2ob and

7red might each miss the point, ignoring the opportunities laid

before them.

%eing alive creates o$$ortunities for ex$erience. &t is u$to each of us togain from our ex$eriences and' in so doing' move our!ife "ur$oseforward.

Principle "* $ )i+ing your )ife Purpose meansexperiencing all %ha% life brings your (ay&

#s stated before, a &ife Purpose is not a position to get into,

it is aconsciousness to inhabit. If you 0uit your desk ob to become a

painter

does that make you The #rtist- Maybe. Maybe you are a hack.

#s we

have seen, the actual role you play, your title at work, is notwhat is

important

&et1s say that you do learn

from your

experiences sufficiently foryour &ife

Purpose to clearly emerge. &ikePicasso

discovering his passion for art,

you have

opened the door into the main

se0uence of


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your &ife Purpose. *ou are

gaining

satisfaction points on a regular

basis.

+ongratulations.

8


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how much would have changed- ot much, I suggest. 3e

could have

afforded a more expensive sonar package for boat number two,

that1s

all.

&et1s put =ac0ues into our illustration, assuming he is right 6n

Purpose

with his life. /as =ac0ues +ousteau s existence trouble free-!/hat do

you think- #s the world1s top ocean explorer he got toexplore the

toughest ocean environments, to address challenges beyond the

scope

of anyone else.


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along. If he

were lucky, an old salt might have set him straight. 9The

problem,

=ac0ues, is that you are in the wrong life here. :o find you a

boat.9

+ousteau s super long little fingers indicate a +ode 2reaker Personality!

So you find your boat. #re you done, is your &ife Purposecomplete- ot

at all. *ou are ust beginning. /elcome to your ?ight &ife. ow,

what areyou going to do about the mutiny in the Miami office- The

hostile

takeover- /hat about time for your family now that you are so

busy-

#nd so on. Similarly, when Picasso unlocks The #rtist within,

when he


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fully inhabits his artistry, has he finished his &ife Purpose- 6f

course not. ow it is his ob to have a lifetime of artist

experiences and express this life on his canvas of choice.

&ife &essons work the same way. If your &ife &esson is :uiltIssues, it is

not your assignment to get over guilt so as to never feel guilty

again. It is

your assignment to be conscious of all experiences pertaining

to guilt,

hopefully learning from them. If your &ife Purpose is 7amily

Service it is

not expected 4nor even hoped5 that you will do only service for

others. It

is to be expected that you will experience a full range of

possibilities in

the service realm.

(s your ex$erience level increases' your ability tomake choices im$roves and your outcomes will bemore in your favor. )owever' you cannot get ex$erience

without trial and error.

&et1s apply the 8xperience ?e0uired concept in a hand reading.

# client will ask whether to stay or leave a relationship,

whether to keep or switch careers, or something of this sort.

These are important lifedefining 0uestions. +lients want some

perspective. 2ut the information revealed in fingerprints is both

as direct as a sledgehammer and as subtle as anything can

be.

If &eadership is a person1s &ife Purpose, does this mean that

signing up

for a 3arvard M2# Program is the best option available- It is

hard to


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say. /hat it certainly does mean is that on a life scale,

satisfaction will

be greatest as one s &eadership +onsciousness is!

accessed and

expressed. 2ut life is twisty;turny. Maybe the best road toleadership

and influence is by attending PT# meetings for years until one

day,

roused by the school s apparent lack of concern for the!

children, you

stand up and take a position. 6thers agree and align themselves

behind

you. *ou alter the course of your child1s high school

curriculum% and

even more$ a new attitude starts to pervade Smith 3igh. 3ow

could one

plot such an outcome on a life graph- /as staying at home

the best

route to leadership-

9/hat course of action should I take-9

asks myclient.


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I answer$ 9o matter what you choose to

do, the

challenge is to make your choice 4and

future

choices5 from inside The &eader that lives inyou. If

you can do so, your fingerprints indicate that

you will

feel 6n Purpose with your life. The 0uestion

is not

so much about choosing the right action

today. It is

about recogniing this part of yourself,learning to

recognie it in its ever;changing disguises,

learning

to access its potency as a compass pointing

towards

life;scale satisfaction. I cannot so much tell

you to

do this as I can bring the possibility to your

attentionso that The &eader that has been there all

along

may be more obvious to you on yournextencounter."

#ll your experiences are already arranged to teach you the

skills and bring you the opportunity to express your &ifePurpose. If you stay conscious, your life begins to evolve of

its own accord into the &ife Purpose shown in your fingerprints

five months prior to birth. *ou do not have to arrange it any more

than the acorn needs to take classes on proper oak tree

development.


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In summary$

, The more consciously you gain in experience- %hemore your

%rue self emerges&, The more your %rue self emerges- %he more your )ifePurpose

blossoms&

, The more your )ife Purpose blossoms- %he more you

(ill like %he

life you are li+ing&, .no(ing your )ife Purpose allo(s you %obetter

interpret theevents and relationships that already exist in your life, toenhance %he experiencing process-so you can move inthe direction your life wishes to go.

Principle "/ $ 0ou mus% be conscious of your feelings%o gain experience&


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I have been talking about experience as if you and I mean the

same thing when we use the word. Perhaps we do, but let1s

check this out in more detail. /ebster says experience means

a$ direct observation of or participation in events as a

basis ofknowledge

b$ the conscious events that make up a person1s life

c$ something personally encountered, undergone,

or lived through

d$ the act or process of directly perceived events orreality

Thank you


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trauma of his brother dying right before his eyes is so great the

young

man cannot cope with it. #ctually, to be more accurate, he is

coping with

the calamity by giving himself amnesia. #s a matter of fact, thismay be

the only and most elegant solution available. To consciously

feel the

pain and helplessness surrounding his brother1s death is more

than the

young boy can bear.

/e all know that he will have to deal with his feelings at some

point or

he will not be able to get on with his life. 3e sees a psychiatrist.

2it by

bit, as his therapy continues, he gets little glimpses of the

accident but

not the full picture. 3e is straining against his unconscious,

willing the

scene to play in his mind1s eye, the better to end the amnesia

that hasput his life on hold. /e in the audience strain with him, but we

have the


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larger view. /e know what he is straining against. 7inally, in one

fateful

therapy session, the floodgates open and it all comes pouring

out. Two

months earlier, awareness would have been premature, but nowhe is

strong enough to bear it. 3e lets out the guttural cry that has

been

froen in his throat since that day on the lake and we know he is

on the

road to recovery.

This is not a how;to book on the appropriate expression offeelings. That may be way too big a topic for any one book to

cover. 2ut humans are emotional creatures and there is no way

around this fact$ it is axiomatic in Soul Psychology that you

mus% become conscious of your feelings in order %ofully process experiences&

/hen our young man became conscious of the boating

accident, he had

his authentic reaction in its delayed form. #t this point, theworst was

over and the rest of his life could begin. 3e1ll never forget the

boating

accident that took his brother1s life. The pain will never

dissipate

completely. 2ut at some point he will be able to move on. Take

away the

melodrama and it is easy enough to see that we all have someamnesia

to various degrees. It is our challenge, everyone of us, to

awaken and

allow our lives to unfold.


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8arlier, you read that given time and opportunity, The &eader

within 4if

that were your &ife Purpose5 would naturally find a form of

expression in

your life, ust by being you. # more complete description wouldhave

been$ ust by you being you and consciously experiencingyour life@though as the Ordinary "eo$le example indicates, this may

not be as

easy as it sounds.

Principle "1 $ Experience is %he bes% %eacher&

It was not a popular success, but I liked it.,eremiah ,ohnson

is a (ABC

movie starring ?obert ?edford as a disaffected +ivil /ar soldier

#/6&

in the remote ?ocky Mountains. /hether it was the beautiful

scenery,

the heroic 0uest of a lone hero, or my own military imbroglioof the

times, I found myself identifying with the neophyte mountain

man

struggling to survive against the forces of nature. Somehow,

?obert

?edford standing knee deep in a freeing mountain stream,

flailing


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frantically, his prospective dinner laughing back at his feeble

fumbling fishing foray made me consider my own foibles in a

more noble light.

&uckily, ?edford s character is taken under the wing of a mentor!willing

to share the secrets he has garnered through years of

experience. /ill

:eer is the irreverent master of mountain wisdom who ushers

?edford,

the initiate, through his first winter, saving his bacon and getting a

laugh

or two to boot. :eer seemed to particularly savor the hot coals

scene$ a

campfire in the wilderness, warmth, a hot meal, safetyD

=eremiah1s

prospects are looking up. 3e watches as the master spreads

some

embers on the ground, covers them with a layer of dirt, then lays

down

his bedroll for a coy night. =eremiah copies the master1s

behavior andsettles in, satisfied with himself, a maybe;things;will;be;all;right;

after;all

look on his face.

Some time passes. =eremiah leaps awake, his bedroll

smoking, half

aflame. The master rolls over and calmly states 9ot enough dirt.

Saw itright off.9 o further comment is forthcoming and none isneeded.

=eremiah has learned his lesson better than any lecture could

have

accomplished. #nother demonstration will not be re0uired. So it


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is with

most of life s learning opportunities$ experience is the best!teacher.

2olonel 3us%ard 45n %he 2onser+a%ory (i%h %he 6rench7

+olonel Mustard s story gives us the opportunity to further!explore

#xiom 6ne$ Principle 'E. +olonel Mustard is my nickname for a

broker,

approximately thirty;five years of age, whose hands I read

several years

ago. 43is fingerprint chart can be found in #ppendix I, page

FG.5 3e

came into my office well dressed, hair slicked back so as to

present the

sleekest aerodynamic profile. /e shook hands and as he sat

down I got

the impression of an owl silently swooping off its perch at

midnight to

catch its prey. I didn1t get a sinister feeling. It was more an

appreciationfor an efficient, clean machine. 3e was smooth but not oily. I

found

myself liking him more than I wanted.

The reading was moving right along and at an appropriate time

he told

me his story. 3e was in the mustard business, he began. ?ight

now hecontrolled a half million ounces of the yellow herb. 9/hereis your

warehouse-9 I asked, wondering to myself what so much

mustard must

look like. /as it stored in huge vats, like wine- 9The ?othschild


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1BG is


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particularly excellent,9 the connoisseur of my imagination was

saying, preparing to partake of the perfect athan1s hot dog.

9So refined, yet slightly vulgar.9

2ut I had little time to indulge myself in further detours. I satin rapt fascination as my client told me the details of the

business. o warehouses, he explained. It is all on barges

offshore. 3e never even gets to sample the wares. 8verything

is on paper$ brokers, mustard futuresDa high stakes poker

game. If the price of mustard went up one half cent next week he

stood to make a fortune.

3e went on% 9I have made two fortunes in my lifetime only to

wind up

broke both times. I do not intend for this to happen again. The

first time I

lost my money to a freak of nature, an impossibly late

snowstorm that

wiped out a crop that caused a chain of events, the effect of

which was

to leave me over;exposed and bankrupt. The recovery was

slow andpainful, but I did it with the help of a partner. I was the brains% he

had the

cash% and we were a great team, or so I thought, until he

disappeared

on me without a trace and I was broke again. This time I

have left

nothing to chance.9 3e went on to describe the details of his

currentmustard gambit, leaning forward in his chair, eyes super alert.

I was

mesmeried.

3e sat back% my turn to speak. 92efore I tell you your &ife


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Purpose I would like to ask a 0uestion.9 9Shoot.9 #re you in

a relationship-9 9Three,9 was the surprising answer. 3e

described his three current girlfriends, each a beauty 0ueen

he assured me, whom he controlled like a card shark. one

of them knew about his plotting ways, he cleverly suggested.They were all on his string. That is how he came to my office.

6ne of his girlfriends had seen me a few weeks before and he

had decided to try it for himself.

Then it hit me. 3e was the guy !Mathilda" was talking about. ot

only did she know of his other girlfriends, the three of them

had met several times and were banded together with plans

of their own. 6oh la la. Things were getting interestinger and

interestinger as the reading moved to a discussion of his

fingerprints.

9*ou are a Master of Manifestation,9 I told him, 9a man

designed for

success in the world. *our entire purpose in coming into this

lifetime was


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to experience material success in the truest sense of the

phrase. The

line markings and shape of your palm and fingers are also so

arranged.

If I needed to make a million dollars by next Thursday Iwould pick

hands like yours at the cosmic hand store. They are the perfect

tool for

the ob.9

93owever, there is one catch, the same catch that everyone

faces$ we each have a &ife &esson. The only way for any of us to

reach our goal isto make progress in this particular

challenging arena of life. /ithout progress on your &ife &esson

no amount of effort will produce the &ife Purpose satisfaction

you seek.9

9Tell me,9 he said. 9I will do whatever it takes.9

96kay, but you may not want to hear it,9 I said. 9*our &ife

&esson is

Surrender to &ove. )ntil you can let go into a relationship, shareyourself

with a life partner, you will never reach the success that

is your

birthright.9

9/hat are you talking about- 3ow can sex with Mathilda or

sex with +amille affect the price of mustard- *ou are cray. I

have left no stone unturned. /hen the price of mustard goes upnext week, and it will, I am assured my fortune.9

9I know nothing about the price of mustard,9 I replied, 9but I do

know

about Soul Psychology and the laws of fingerprints.9 I described


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his &ife

&esson in greater detail and he agreed that he was

!intimacy

challenged."

9So what- I1ll make my fortune and worry about it later.9

The owl was flapping its wings agitato but his eyes werebulging and he was straining with all his might to get the

connection.

9Maybe in a past life,9 I suggested 9you had succeeded in the

world,only to feel isolated and abandoned. /hat had it all added up8to- you!wondered in your post;life review. /ho knows for sure about

such

things- 2ut I can say that in this lifetime, in your soul1s

wisdom, your

goal is to avoid repeating such errors. ?emember Scrooge-

3e had

money but no love. /hen the angels visited he begged foranother


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chance to put things rightDand he did. *our &ife Purpose asks

the same of you.9

Most with this &ife &esson spend decades 4at least5 with too

muchsurrender as the governing theme. +olonel Mustard s girlfriend,!whom I

had read for, was one such example 43er fingerprints are in

#ppendix I,

page FG. Mathilda, coming up shortly on pages FH;FC, also

has the

same fingerprints.5 The Mustard Man was on the other side of

this coin$

too little surrender. I invented a story of a woman sufferingin an

uncaring relationship as we discussed the flip side of the

surrender skills

training program.

9I would never sacrifice so much for a relationship. She issuch a

sucker,9 he replied to my veiled description of his girlfriend1sdilemma.

92ut she is in the same classroom as you, seeking the same

skill you are. 3er &ife Purpose differs from yours, but the banana

peel under the foot of each of you 4your &ife &esson5 is

exactly the same. She surrenders too much, you surrender too

little.9

9/hy doesn1t she ust dump the erk- I would,9 suggested

+olonel Mustard, not realiing who the erk in 0uestion was.

9*ou would, but until she actually goes through the

experience, no amount of logic will convince her.9 I turned the

tables back on him. 9/hy can1t you let go enough to love


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anyone-9

3e started telling me the oys of his playboy lifestyle, but for such

a deft

salesman he made a weak case. 3e sensed this as well,or so itseemed, his argument fading out mid;stream. I borrowed a

poker story,

figuring I could use it to segue way back to his mustard

business. 9This

man loved poker,9 I began 9but he continually lost money. 3is

losses

were mounting up so he decided to get some help, hiring an

expert to

teach him the secrets of winning.9 The tape clicked off% we were

half way

through the session. +olonel Mustard was nervously tapping his

feet as

I flipped the tape over and reinserted it into the recorder.

9The man goes over to the expert1s house and hands over

his five;thousand;dollar fee and is told 1/ait a bit, I1ll be right back.1 The

expert

leaves the man alone in his living room for ten minutes. The

man gets

antsy, wonders what is going on. 3as he been ripped off- 3e

leaves the


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living room to find the poker expert in the kitchen reading a

newspaper and having a cup of coffee.9

91/hat1s the deal-1 he asks.9

91*our first lesson is patience,1 the expert replies 1and obviously

we are going to have to work 0uite a bit on that one.19

9Interesting,9 my client said with growing impatience. 92ut

what1s your

point-9

9The point is you can tell somebody something until you are

blue in the

face, but until they experience it, it is ust words. If the poker

expert had

said that patience was a key principle in poker it would not have

sunk in

the same way. In your case, Mr. Mustard, you came into this

lifetime to

learn how to love and be loved, without which any material

success willleave you the same empty shell as Scrooge before his

resurrection.

*our rules for this life are love first, succeed second. #ll attempts

to go in

the reverse order will not work, but this is something you must

learn for

yourself.9

+olonel Mustard was nothing if not 0uick. 3e countered my

pawn to >ueen 7our with his own en $assant. 92ut whenmustard goes up next week and I make a million your reading

will be all wet, won1t it-9


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9ot really. I have seen it again and again. )nless progress is

made in the &ife &esson, the &ife Purpose Inverse shows

up, not the &ife Purpose. I don1t know how it will happen. It

may take you losing ten or twenty million dollars before you

finally open up to another, if you ever do at all. 2ut until you doyou will not gain the satisfaction you seek. If however, having

experienced the pain of repeated failure, you eventually open

your heart, you will find your life shifting of its own accord.

True Success will come your way, material success a likely

component, but not until you grapple with your intimacy

demons.9

I didn1t really expect +olonel Mustard to get it. ot that he was

especially

hard headed or anything% his skepticism made total sense to

me. 3is

0uestions were appropriate. 2ut his pattern with women had

been

ongoing his entire adult life. I thought maybe his reading could

possibly


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be a seed that would start to bloom some time later. 2ut he

surprised

me.

/e spent the rest of his session talking about other factorsregarding !success" in love. I could see his mind replaying past

relationships and coming to new conclusions. #s he left my

office he gave me a sincere hug and told me he felt like a new

man. 6f course, he may have been !seducing" me. Seduction

came so naturally, he could be doing it and not even realie it

himself.

/e1ll revisit Mr. Mustard at a later point, but for now, let1s go to

Principle 'G of #xiom 6ne.

Principle "9 $ 0ou need all your experiences %obecome %head+anced +ersion of you&

&ooking back, weren1t some of the biggest growth spurts of

your life in response to discomfort- #s a matter of fact, it isabsolutely clear you could not have gotten to where you are

today if things had been hunkydory day in and day out. 6f

course, that doesn1t mean it is in your interest to seek out pain

and displeasure.

&oving our children we want only the best for them, but we also

know

that we do them no favor if we take away all pain possibilities

4as if we

could anyway5. Parents must draw their own line. It is one thing

to take

away a privilege for a missed homework assignment, it is

another thing

entirely to let a child flunk out or allow one to get hit by a train.


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49I told

him not to play near the tracks. I guess now he1ll listen.95

ietsche said,

9That which doesn1t kill me makes me stronger,9 but how far

should wepress the theory-

I don1t know either, but consider this perspective. Imagine you

have a

:uardian #ngel, a cosmic personal trainer whose ob it is to

get you

ready to live your &ife Purpose. The advanced being in

0uestion

watches your life at the +osmic 2ar and :rill on 8arth T.

More your

advocate than any person could be, he will be standing at your

side at

the :ates of 3eaven when you take your entry exam. 93mm,

how tough

should I make this next &ife &esson incident-" your :# muses. !I

don1t


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want to discourage this precious human but I don1t want to make

things too easy.9

&et1s take the analogy one step further. *our :uardian #ngel can

makeall your dreams come true. 4


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tastes

the first porridge$ too hot. The second is too cold but the third

is ust

right. She goes into the next room where she finds three beds.

The firstone is too hard, the next is too soft but the third is ust right. If

you don1t

know what happens when the three bears come home to find a

dumb

blond asleep in their bedroom, you can look it up on the internet.

3owever, far from being a dumb blonde, :oldilocks is a true

master of

this three;dimensional plane. &ook at her experimental method$

she tries

something out, it is too this or that. She tries again, this time going

to the

opposite extreme. #gain she goes too far. 2ut she perseveres and

finds


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that which is ust right. Too much, too little, ust rightDthat1s the

master1s formula.

3ave you ever watched one of those black;and;white /orld

/ar II movies- The :I1s are in a foxhole% a mortar shell lands infront of them% another shell lands behind them% they leap out of

the foxhole ust before being blasted to kingdom come. They

knew they had been bracketed. The enemy had found out what

was too much and what was too little. =ust right could be

expected momentarily.

These exaggerated scenarios were designed as a memory

device to remind you of this central tenet of Soul Psychology. To

gain experiences, humans go too far and not far enough on their

way 4one hopes5 to ust right. The trick is to learn from one1s

experience, to follow :oldilocks1 example and not to get

stuck forever playing ping;pong between uncomfortable

extremes that represent inappropriate responses to

circumstance. To make this as clear as possible, let1s see if we

can spot the :oldilocks ?ule at work in the next story.

3a%hilda

Mathilda is totally infatuated with 7red. I guess that is why she

agreed to

give him the money she had been saving for college. The plan

is for

Mathilda to meet up with 7red in #laska in a few weeks where he

will be

building a cabin for them to live in. They will start an organicfarm and

live happily ever after. #rriving in #laska, Mathilda finds no

cabin, no

7red, no ucchinis. Maybe next time she won1t be sotrusting with


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someone she ust met.

7ast forward fifteen years$ Mathilda has not had a serious

relationship

since 7red. In effect, she has locked the barn door after thehorses have

gone, but she1s not complaining. She has become a therapist

and has

helped lots of people get their lives together. 9I don1t need a

man to be

happy,9 she says, and who wants to argue with that- Then Phil

shows

up. Mathilda helps Phil to sobriety. Phil is grateful. They fall in

love. They

move into Mathilda1s townhouse. Somehow, Phil loses his ob.

)3;63.

Mathilda1s ewelry is missing. They have a fight. Mathilda

shows up for

work the next day with a black eye. Things get worse. Phil gets

arrested,

not for the first time it turns out, and Mathilda uses her life savingsto bail


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him out. She comes home to find him in her bed with some ex;

girlfriend or other. It only gets worse from here. Take out the

ucchinis in #laska, rearrange a few details, and you have the

life story of thousands of people with fingerprints like

Mathilda s.!

Mathilda1s :# could have ust whispered in her ear 9


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man5. 3ere is surrender error 'C$ surrender too little. She

meets Phil$

surrender error 'F$ surrender too much again. This is the

:oldilocks

?ule in action. Too much, too little. ?epeat as necessary.

If Mathilda can raise her awareness to a +J in the surrender

skills training program her &ife Purpose will flower. Said

differently, if she can be at all conscious as she goes through

these events she will learn enough from them to enter into the

main se0uence of her &ife Purpose. 9Think of these experiences

as part of your therapist1s training. 3ealer heal thyself,

Mathilda.9

Two years after Phil, Mathilda has resumed dating again. #t

least this time she didn1t need a fifteen year hiatus. She is still

looking for her first good relationship, but the barn door is neither

carelessly flung open nor is it nailed shut. This is progress and

progress on one1s &ife &esson is what opens the door to &ife

Purpose. #fter all, how is Mathilda going to learn except through

trial and error-

Principle "= $ 0ou >a+e Permission %o )earn


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/hen people are in the throes of their &ife &esson, when

things are

looking the most bleak, sometimes the best I can hope for in a

reading is

to hold out the comfort that, as humans, we have permission tolearn.

Mathilda came into this life to learn advanced surrender

skills. The

experiences garnered by going through such a difficult training

program

are necessary for her &ife Purpose to blossom. 6f course, she

may self;

destruct, her &ife Purpose remaining hidden, out of reach. Thatis up to

Mathilda. /ith her fingerprints, either outcome 4or some

combination of

each5 is possible. 3owever, there is no way she can avoid

surrender

errors entirely. The only 0uestion is, can she learn from her

mistakes

and move forward on her life path- 8asy enough to say from

outside thebattle, but if you are Mathilda and you have ust withdrawn

your life

savings to bail out Phil, words to this effect may have a hollow

ring. It

would be like telling someone who ust lost a child to leukemia

that all is

right in :od1s kingdom. True or false, at that moment it may not

be thecomfort the speaker intends.

Mathilda knows full well she is in danger. She

remembers what

happened with 7red when she was fifteen. 2ut Phil has been


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sober for a

week now and when she saw him yesterday at the ail, their

love for

each other filled the room and everything else disappeared. 3er

logicaltherapist1s mind knows his relapse possibilities are high but

her heart

wants to believe. #nd there she is in my office, hands

outstretched,

hoping there is a sign that will allow her to do that which she

knows is

not in her own interests.

Instead, Mathilda hears that this is exactly the type of

circumstances one could expect if one had a &ife &esson like

the one that appears in her fingerprints. The challenge is to

recognie the surrender issue for what it is, to choose

consciously, taking responsibility for whatever may be the

outcome. #gain, so much easier to say than do.

3y ?ingerprin%s

&et s continue the permission to learn theme by using an!example from

my own fingerprints. 4My fingerprint chart is on page FGK,

second row,

right.5


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feelings about this early on, but &ife &essons imply blind

spots and I

refused to take my suspicions seriously, the better to avoid

having to

confront my adversaries. #s with all &ife &essons, however,things ust

don1t go away.

#nother incident occurred and I could no longer lie to myself. So

and so had deliberately done such and such. I decided to

confront the situation head on. 9Tomorrow, yes tomorrow would

be a better day to do this than today,9 a voice inside my head

said.

:ood. I didn1t want to have that conversation today anyway. I let it

pass. # few weeks later it all boiled over again. I was in a

meeting and so and so said such and such. !3old it one

second. /hat about my proposal last week that we all agreed

to-9 I was being bypassed again and it would do no good to

bring it up here. The problem was with the 2ig Poobah, not

this underling.

I decided to talk to him as soon as possible. I was scared 4he

was after

all the biggest Poobah this side of the ?ocky Mountains5, but

was I a

man or a mouse- I called up Poobah the 2ig and,

reaching his

secretary, set an appointment to get all this handled once and for

all. Sothere. The appointment was twelve days hence 4Poobahs are

busy, you

know5, so other than a bit of stewing, for the time being

there wasnothing to do.


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Twelve days hence came and I was ten minutes early

for my

appointment. I figured I d start with an acknowledgement of how!much

Poobah had helped me and why I respected all he hadaccomplished for

the organiation. Then I1d let him have it. /hy was he

undercutting me-

/e had agreed to my plan. /hy was it not being

implemented- /hy

wasn1t I even told about this- I had it all written down. I took

a deep

breath. I was ready. 7orty minutes passed. Poobahs like to do

that, I

thought% a power maneuver. I can see his game a mile away,

hah. 9Mr.

)nger, Mr. Poobah can1t see you today. Something big has come

up. 3e

asked me to reschedule with you for next month. 3e

regrets any

inconvenience.9

I exited$ half furiousDhalf relieved.


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ext month ensued, during which time all sorts of minor

incidents

occurred that validated my suspicions.


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and what I was going to talk about. 3e had orchestrated the

entire deal. I know that now, now that I am not in the throes of

it all. 2ut at the time I couldn1t be sure of anything. I was so

worked up. I was angry, scared, unsure, guilty, and who knows

what else all rolled up into a ball of confusion and frustration.

I stomped out into the parking lot and sat in my car for who

knows how

long until a voice inside my head popped up$ 9?ichard,9 it said.

9Three

months ago you blatantly disregarded the clues and your feelings

on this

mess. Two months ago you recognied what was going on but

you did

nothing about it. &ast month you tried to do something but let

it get

away. Today you confronted him and got about half of what you

wanted

to say off your chest. That1s progress young man. ot too bad.

This is

your &ife &esson here. It is as tough as anything gets for you.

*ou1re notsupposed to be good at this. *ou have permission to learn&Leep it up

and you1ll be 6L.9

I felt a little better. ot a lot mind you, but a little was a lot if

you know

what I mean. Three months later I left the organiation and as I

look


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back, I learned so much while I was there and, whether Mr.

Poobah saw

this or not, I needed to move on. Mr. Poobah had helped me to

do so.

2ack to Mathilda in my office wondering about Phil. /ell, you

read her story. She feels worse than ever and as the reading

unfolds it is clear that she has already made up her mind what

she is going to do. I hoped that the message 9*ou have

permission to learn9 would help her to keep her self esteem more

or less intact through the morass.

6ther times, people like Mathilda come in after the storm has

passed. Phil is gone and they are never going to make a

mistake like that again. I agree. They have gained in experience.

2ut these are fingerprints we are talking about and fingerprints do

not change. /e can expect another round of surrender issues to

emerge in Mathilda1s life at some time or another. In a new

disguise, to be sure, but expect the same dragon to attack

another wall of the castle. 6f this you can be certain. 3owever, if

Mathilda can learn from prior errors the attack will be less

effective and her &ife Purpose will continue to blossom.

Twenty years from now, when Mathilda is asked to be the +hair

Person

for the ational +ommission on Therapy and 3ealth +are,

surrender

issues will work their wiggly way right back into Mathilda1s life

story.

Should she let some 2ig Poobah pressure her to put so and soon the

+ommission or should she stand her ground- If she has been

paying

attention to her experiencing process, the lessons garnered

dealing with


45/49

Phil, and 7red, and their ilk may provide the guidance she

needs to

steer an appropriate course.


46/49

-y Red)eaded #aughter and !ong #ivision

/#addy' &0m never going to become a functional adult'/sighed my redheaded daughter. /1hat0s u$2/ & asked abit tentatively' not having a clue as to the sub3ect athand. /&n class today we were working in our mathbook and ,ohn was doing long division and & can0tremember the rst thing about it. &0m never going toget out of fourth grade./ 4he was a full two days intofourth grade at this $oint.

/Oh'/ & re$lied' relieved. )ow many functional adults

remember long division anyway2

/!et me check your math book. (ha5 6ou didn0t coverlong division in third grade. & thought so. &s ,ohn thatkid that 3ust moved here from -innea$olis2 )e musthave covered long division in third grade. 6ou haven0tstarted it yet./ & rose to em$hasi7e my $oint.

/Remember' dear one' when you didn0t know how to tie

your shoes but you $racticed and now it0s easy2 (nd

your bicycle' remember8/

/Thanks #ad./ & was being interru$ted 3ust as &

a$$roached my nal summation. /)old the s$eech'/she declared as she left the room. /That0s all & neededto know./

Each of us has come %o %he Ear%h Uni+ersi%y (i%hsome%hing %o learn and some%hing %o do&

6e empa%hi@e (i%h our children as %hey s%ruggle (i%h%heir lessons- bu% can (e be as kind %o oursel+es as (e


47/49

go %hrough %he %raining program prin%ed on our


48/49

Axiom One of Soul Psychology:Experience Reuired 4summary5

The earth plane is an arena for advancing souls togrow in consciousness.

In order to accomplish this goal, advancing souls seekexperience.

Principle '( ; The life goal is the experiencing process itself.

Principle 'C ; 6ne s experiences always seek to unlock!one s &ife!Purpose.

Principle 'F ; &iving your &ife Purpose means experiencing all

that life brings your way.

, #s your experience level increases, your ability to makechoices

improves and your outcomes will be more in your favor.

3owever, you cannot get experience without trial and error.

, The more consciously you gain in experience, the moreyour true

self emerges.

, The more your true self emerges, the more your &ifePurpose

blossoms.

, The more your &ife Purpose blossoms, the more you willlike the

life you are living., Lnowing your &ife Purpose allows you to betterinterpret the

events and relationships that already exist in your life, toenhance the experiencing process-so you can move inthe direction your life wishes to go.


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Principle 'K ; *ou must be conscious of your feelings togain

experience.

Principle 'E ; 8xperience is the best teacher.

Principle 'G ; *ou need all your experiences to become the

advanced version of you.

, The :oldilocks ?ule$ Too muchtoo little leads to ust right

Principle 'B ; *ou have permission to learn.

Documents

Goldilocks Principle