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7/30/2019 GOD THE P.A.T.C.H.
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GOD
P.A.T.C.H.
K_\
K_\
Positive
ApproachToChristian
Hearts
b y J I M H A R R I S O N
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This book is written expressly about God, not
any one individual. The intention of the story is to
describe how God has, through His creations, given
us the earth and human beings, to develop and exist
in a perfect balance with Him.
Physically, the earth has to stay in perfect
balance or it would not remain situated at its location
in the universe, as God had placed it. The balance of
nature, all things natural, on the planet is meant to
stay this way so that everlasting life could exist here.
The balance of man is such that we can
develop physically, mentally and emotionally. We
must work to maintain a balance between our human
and spiritual self or it will have a huge impact on our
health and our mental abilities to be able to cope
with life itself.
We, as human beings, need to maintain our
balance between the earth and us, otherwise we
cause major problems with the earth and these
Foreword
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Forty days . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
Gods plan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
Crying out . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11
Lifes direction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
Is it I or I Am . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Its about balance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
Passing it on . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
The journey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
The next phase . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
A new start . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
To suffer or not . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45
The message . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
Hard choices . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
Understanding . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53
The Decision . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59
Starting over . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67
The worst pit yet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73
A relationship develops . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79
Even bigger decisions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87
The answer to the question . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93
Acknowledgement . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97
Contentswill become catastrophic problems for future
generations.
Gods plan was to have a perfect place and a
perfect physical being, so that He would be able to
enjoy the love that He wants to share with us. God is
love itself and without human beings how would
He nurture relationships. We, the humans, have
certainly messed that up big time.
We can get back to that place, of a loving
relationship, if we choose to work at it. God is
always ready and willing to be there for us. The
choice has to be up to us. God loves what He
created and we should be equally willing to return
that love for Him. As God worked within Jesus in
His life, He can also work within us. It is a beautiful
place to be, if we just make the choice. The
relationship that allows the balance of the Holy
Trinity to come together as one, can be the same
relationship for us to maintain a balanced life.
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As I sit here on the balcony, of the condo in Florida,
gazing out onto the ocean, I watch the pelicans
diving into the water to get food for nourishing
themselves. I cannot help but marvel at Gods grace
that sustains all of us, humans and animals alike.
Watching the sunrise and sunsets from here you
cannot believe there is ever, two the same. The color,
the brilliance, the clouds painted across a multi
hued blue sky, along with the various green colors
of water give a performance that draws people
from miles around each day to view Gods majesty.
If we have such a strong fascination with Gods
handiwork, how is it we find it so difficult to believe,
that God loves us so much, and wants to have a
personal relationship with each of us.
How much do we truly understand, the existence of
mankind, on this planet we call earth. We know
from the bible, that earth is a creation of God,
1
Forty days
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He saw. This creation as He completed it then, is
still the same place we live today. The one difference
being, that we as humans have scarred and defaced
his planet almost beyond recognition. Gods feeling
for His creation has never changed to this day. I am
sure it makes him, (God), sad to see what we are
doing with the earth. I have recently discovered, that
when we look at our earth through Gods eyes, it is
a totally different place, than most of us know it too
be, even today.
What I mean is that most of us see our world by the
priorities that we have chosen, jobs, marriage, hous-
ing, etc. These are all things centered around us, not
God. When we start to see from Gods perspective,
our priorities become very small and insignificant.
During these times that my wife and I spend here on
the Gulf Coast at Destin, Fl. I see this as, not so
much a vacation, but an experience or training
session with God. Much like it was for Moses in
3
Genesis 1: 1 and God created the heaven and the
earth and that it, earth, exists in what we humans
know as the universe. The universe appears to be the
largest conceptualization that we can handle, with
our understanding. Individually, we do not know, if
there is anything beyond our universe or that any-
thing else exists beyond our universe. We have
learned that the universe cannot exist, without the
living energy to sustain it and the same holds true for
the earth. Without this living energy, things would
just disintegrate. It is my belief that, this living
energy is God. This is a definition of God, I believe
is very accurate, based on my knowledge. The
following quotation of God: He always was and
always has been, never can be created or destroyed,
all that ever was, always will be, always moving into
form, through form and out of form.
The bible tells us that once God was finished with
his creation of earth, He was very pleased with what
2
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many of you who are going through some of the
same rough times that I did. I would like to share
some of my thoughts and beliefs that I have gained
during these communications with God.
In the bible they tell us of the miracles that took
place while Jesus was here on the earth. Do we ever
stop and look around us at Gods miracles that are
still here today. The air we breathe, the pure water
for drinking, the plants that give us the material for
our clothing and the animals for our food. These
things in themselves are miracles given to us by God
to enhance our relationship with Him.
We may all live on one earth, yet it is a common
error to believe there are two equal and opposite
forces at work in the world, one good, the other evil
one God, the other Satan, and between these two
we have the choice to do as we please. The truth is
that Satan is a created being, created by God just as
we were. He (satan) has only as much power and
5
Exodus 34:28-29 Moses was there with the LORD
forty days and forty nights without eating bread or
drinking water. And he wrote on the tablets the
words of the covenant-the Ten Commandments.
When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the
two tablets of the Testimony in his hands, he was not
aware that his face was radiant because he had
spoken with the LORD.
I believe that something similar to this has happened
to me as well. I am able to push aside all the nega-
tive parts of worldly life and connect in a very
positive way with my creator. This was my time to
make a covenant with God and do whatever he
asked. I have managed to learn, that having a
positive experience with God and my savior Jesus
Christ, is a world apart from the life style that most
of us choose to live, when left to our own devices.
It is my desire, that by writing this book, about the
experiences of my life, I will not be too late to reach
4
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Now if we view earth and mankind from the most
simplistic or smaller side, we would be looking at it
from the size of the living cell. The plan that God has
for all human beings, begins at a microscopic level,
even before we are born. When God starts a plan that
will be our life story, we also have to understand,
that He is going to be doing the exact same thing for
our children as they are created, and also their
children. We as parents of children think that we
know better than anyone how are children should be
raised. We do not know better than God, and there-
fore if we were to raise them in conjunction with
God, it is likely we would do a much better job of it.
We try very hard to impose our will on our children,
not Gods will. If we were to watch the process that
is taking place inside of our mothers womb, on a
daily basis, we would be amazed to see how God
takes all of these cells and transforms them into what
will be us.
7
influence as God allows him. Satan (lucifer), in
the beginning, was the archangel in charge of praise
among the heavenly hosts, harps and all prior to
his fall.
Observing earth from Gods perspective, we realize
others have bigger needs than we do and how we can
help them, becomes more important, than our own
desires and needs. Understanding earth and the uni-
verse from the big picture is awesomely huge.
6
Gods plan
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The creation of mankind as written in Genesis 1: 26
Let us make man in our image, in our likeness.
The fact that God wanted to create man in this
manner, certainly does not give the impression, that
he ever expected man to be the sinner that we are.
If one was to say there ever was a flaw in Gods plan,
it may be when He gave man the ability to make his
own choice. This certainly appears to be mankinds
downfall over time. This gift of choice, is what
separates us from the animal breeds on the planet, as
they simply act out of instinct.
When we describe mankind, we seem rather
comfortable with the term human being. It was the
side of mankind called human, which very easily
fell prey to Satans devious, lying abilities to sway us
to his way of thinking.
98
Isaiah 14: 12-15
How you have fallen from heaven,
O morning star, son of the dawn!
You have been cast down to the earth,
you who once laid low the nations!
You said in your heart,
I will ascend to heaven;
I will raise my throne
above the stars of God;
I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly,
on the utmost heights of the sacred mountain.
I will ascend above the tops of the clouds;
I will make myself like the Most High.
But you are brought down to the grave,
to the depths of the pit.
Satan was banished from heaven because he wanted
to be better than God was. He was made to live in the
grave of the earth, the depths of the pit. His ego was
so great, he said he could make himself just like
God. Our bad choice started with Adam and Eve.
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My relationship with God started at a time when I
likely did not even realize it. The day that my
mother passed away was probably the bleakest of
my life. As a young man of seventeen, at the time,
she was everything to me although my father was
present physically, we had no relationship. I was
coming to that age when you are preparing to set out
on your own, in the world. Even with both my par-
ents supporting me, this was a challenge. Looking
back, this was the scariest time to be on my own. I
had no idea what to expect because I had just spent
the last few months trying to care for my mom, as I
was certain in my mind she was going to beat this
cancer and get better. Right then, in that moment of
time, my future just seemed to disappear before me
and I did not want to go on like this.
The next day I went to our church and kneeling at the
alter rail I started to pray. It seemed as though I was
1110
Crying out
Genesis 3: 3-5, God did say, you must not eat fruit
from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and
you must not touch it, or you will die. You will not
surely die, the serpent said to the woman. For God
knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be
opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and
evil. Adam and Eve both ate of the fruit from the
tree. Genesis 3: 7 then the eyes of both of them
were opened, and they realized they were naked.
Up until this moment, they were only seeing their
surroundings and themselves through the being
(spiritual) side of humanity. That is the same way
God sees earth, with innocence not with an ego.
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As we see the results of Human Beings, from the
creation process, we begin to understand why the
Human portion follows the form thinking process,
or the use of the brain not the heart. Form thinking is
the process that considers the flesh (body), the I or
ME principal. It is mainly about things, wanting and
getting them, about judging yourself and others,
about imposing your will on others, and also about
distancing yourself from everything and everyone. It
is believing you can do everything on your own, due
to your own superiority, just like Satan did. Living
your entire life like this, means you are living the
bigger part of it totally unconscious of everything
going on around you, simply because YOU are more
important than anything else. This is most certainly
NOT the way God wanted us to be, but Satan loves
it. You are like free food to him, and he is salivating
for the opportunity. It is a gigantic leap, for most
13
there for hours. Certainly, my first question was why
did this have to happen at all and where would I go
from here? I begged God to give me the strength to
overcome this sinking feeling of desperation that
was overcoming me. I prayed for His guidance, for
my life, as I now felt completely lost. This, I believe
is how most of us react, when out of desperate
measures we turn to God to patch our lives back
together again. I returned home that day knowing
that I had to carry on but never really knowing how
this day might affect my future.
12
Lifes direction
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They are always seeking something or someone
to make them happy. Unfortunately, individual
happiness seldom comes from something external.
These things(form) are short term satisfiers and
because of this you never get complete happiness,
due again to the ego wanting more. It is so true that
happiness, or the need for happiness, is viewed as a
goal you plan for and expect too achieve. Happiness
is not something you can go to, because happiness
is a condition not an object. When we are at peace
with our creator our goal is achieved and riches of
joy and wisdom will bring us more happiness than
we could ever imagine possible.
Eg; When we damage our car, we expect to have a
body repairer patch it up for us. When we contract a
serious medical disease we expect a medical
practitioner to patch us up, and move on with our
life. When we experience, a serious storm that rips
part of the roof, from our house we expect a roof
15
people to accept that every man and woman, good
or bad has been created by God. The best and the
worst of us are all Gods creations.
The underlying emotion that governs ego is fear, the
fear of being nobody, the fear of non-existence and
the fear of death. Illusion will never satisfy you, only
the TRUTH of who you are, when realized will set
you free. A humans ego can never be satisfied
because it continuously wants more. You will be left
with a longing, that can never be filled.
If you have ever known an alcoholic, a drug addict
or depressed individual, just ask them to explain
their condition to you. It is very likely, they will tell
you all about how someone or something put them in
this position. It is never about them.
Many individuals find they are falling into this
category, where they give the appearance that
everything in their life is a negative situation or
nothing positive is ever going to happen to me.
14
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repairer to patch it up. When we do serious
damage to our own lives, who do we expect is going
to patch up this damage, if we cannot do it
ourselves? It has been proven that we cannot do it
alone. Most of us, turn to God, with the expectation
of having our lives patched together.
The following quotation came to me from God,
Life, is just a patchwork, held together by threads
of silver and gold, sewn by God with Love.
1716
Once we rediscover our spiritual self, there ever
since our birth, we start to see the outer world with
Gods view. Instead of saying, I want this or I have
that, I can do this or that, we start to say, I am here
for you or I am going to do this for you. The I am
process requires conscious thought and usually
means most of the benefit is going to some one else.
When you accept this, you are utilizing the true you
and not some fake or made up person.
The rewards from this will bring you the greatest
wealth you could ever have. It is not a currency
wealth, but a riches of joy, happiness, love and peace
heaped upon you as life goes on.
Its said that, the sins of the parents are passed on
to the children, this statement is very accurate. A
pregnant mothers energy is passed on to the unborn
child. Negative energy will result with the child
being born with a larger negative energy field. Stress
Is it I or I AM
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1918
factors such as fighting, drugs, alcohol and so on
will be passed from a mothers energy to the child.
A child can pick up negative energy from their
environment even before the child can actually
communicate. A baby that cries for no reason is
learning to express stress from its environment. By
the time they can walk and interact with other
children, they may already have a negative
attitude that can last for a lifetime.
Having a conscious developed, positive lifestyle, is
something that has to be worked on as a daily
routine. The more we work to stay positive,
means, the more we push Satan and his negative
world out of our life. This is not a simple task. Godly
followers are in the minority.
Each day when we wake up we must make the
decision to start our day with God. First thank God
for giving us a new day and secondly, by praising
God for all that He is and does for us. Repeating this
process every day, means we are living in the truth
of the Lord. This will keep Satan, the king of liars,
from entering our space. The bible tells us many
times, that praising our Lord Jesus is the first step in
winning the daily battle against Satan. Once we have
taken this first step, God will complete our victory
for us. The resulting spoils of the victory become
ours to keep. Each days decision to do this makes it
an easier task. Why you ask? If you have discovered
your being or spiritual side, then you are now
communicating with God. He has now become your
best friend again, as He was when you were created,
and will lift much of your burden from you. As He
does this, you will find it becoming easier to make
this conscious choice of lifestyle on a daily basis. As
things become routine it will be happening more on
an unconscious level and there is no room left for
satan any longer. Things will become clearer and
days will be filled with joy and happiness. You are
now living by your heart, as God wants you too, and
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your light (energy) will be noticed by others as they
are attracted to you.
Matthew 6: 9-10
Our father in heaven
hallowed be thy name,
your kingdom come
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
The purpose of praying this prayer, is to ask God to
bring His kingdom into our life today. We do not
have to wait until we get to heaven to enjoy His
kingdom. We can enjoy our citizenship in our human
kingdom and also our spiritual citizenship in Gods
kingdom. Both can be at the same time on earth.
Jesus sacred space can be enjoyed within our
relationships we have with each other and with God.
The love we share in these relationships will
last forever.
This positive energy is our way of communicating
with God and our fellow man, and will bring more
people and things into your life instead of the
negative energy pushing everything away.
This positive approach to a christian heart,
(P.A.T.C.H.) is the message that God wants me to
extend to the world.
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Genesis 2:7, the Lord God formed the man from the
dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the
breath of life, and the man became a living being.
Most individuals are amazed when they learn that
they are born on this planet earth as a creation of
God. They would have no existence except for
receiving the breath of God at birth. This fact is
written in the Bible and as well in medical
journals also. As my title for this book states, (and
God gave me this title), positive and negative attrib-
utes do control our lives from birth till death. Its
how we use these attributes that can make a huge
difference in how we do or do not enjoy life. It is not
fully understood by most people how our health is
dictated by these positives and negatives.
Life developed under the influence of the earths
geomagnetic field. We are surrounded by a sea of
magnetism. The millions of cells, making up the
Its about balance
2322
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organs and the body are magnetically charged by
this force. Cell regulation, tissue function and life
itself, are controlled by internal electromagnetic
currents. God created us, from living cells that
function on positive and negative abilities. They can
be influenced by external positive and negative
forces around us.
Magnetic fields surround the earth and protect all
living things from harmful radiation. They also
influence mans behavior, mental function and
physical energy. Oxygen and water are para-
magnetic and can be magnetized as either positive or
negative. Since the human body is seventy percent
water, you can easily see how this process can have
a substantial influence. Since God created earth and
humans it is easy to understand that He would have
meant it to be this way. There are many books
written on this subject for more detailed information.
Where we choose to live in relationship to certain
rock formations, that have high concentrations of
positive magnetic energy, can also have very
influential aspects on our health. When we moved to
northern Ontario, my health was very poor. Not long
after, I commented to my doctor how much healthi-
er I felt since we had arrived, even though my
conditions had not changed.
I remember years ago that companies would install
devices called ionizers to add positive ions into the
company air supply to help the employees feel more
upbeat at work. Now you are probably asking your-
self, where is he going with all of this? I believe this
same type of relationship can be had with God,
through His energy. I stated earlier, that our levels of
energy either positive or negative, can be utilized to
shape the kind of life existence we choose to have
while on this planet. Certain influences by other
factors will come into play during our lifetime, but it
is our choices that will direct the final outcome. We
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can attempt to do it with or without Gods plan for
us. The gift of choice, that God gave us at birth, is
very likely the greatest gift we will ever have. It is
unfortunate that it will also be the most abused gift
we use.
How adults view the world around them and the
actions they take, is predetermined by their parents
teaching during their childhood. If we as parents
have a relationship with God, living a Godly lifestyle
this will be reflected in the teachings we pass on to
our children. If we believe we can tell our children
one thing and live something else, this will never
work. By the ages between 3-5 years, how we make
our way through life is already set. We hear parents
instruct their small children to say you are sorry,
when they have taken a toy from another child. This
in itself does absolutely nothing because eventually
they learn that just saying you are sorry, means
you can take anything you want with no
repercussions. If we do not make them understand
how they have hurt the other person, or the fact that
if the other person does not want to give up what
they have, you cannot take it. We can teach our
Passing it on
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children to use their heads or their hearts
allowing them to view their world in completely
different ways.
We must also teach our children to live for what is
happening today and not by past events. The past
should be just that, a lesson about the past and not
impact how we live, our lives, today. Gods
expectation for us, when He created us, was that we
would live the life that He made for us. In the bible,
Genesis 1; 4-5, God saw that the light was good,
and He separated the light from the darkness. God
called the light day and the darkness He called
night. This was the only creation of day that
took place and God planned for us to live in that
day. No where does it say that He expected us to
live in a past day or even a future day, it only
says that we would live in the day, the present.
God even went so far as to make it impossible for us
to live in no more than one day at a time.
We cannot be in two places at once, anymore than a
builder could build more than one house at a time.
He could be working on more than one at a time, but
can only be in one at a time. God gave us signs to
mark the seasons and days and years, but reality is,
we can only be sure of one thing, that is, we have
each single day given to us as the present. If we try
to live in the past, present and future each day,
it will be chaos and lead to insanity. Unfortunately,
that is how a lot of people are living today. Learning
to live in the present and in the presence of God will
bring peace and understanding into an otherwise
chaotic life.
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I remember what my life was like, prior to giving
control of it over to God.
In 1941, when World War II started, my father
signed up for the Royal Canadian Engineers division
of the army. In late summer or fall of 1941, my
mother took the train to Montreal to meet my father
before he left for his final basic training at the East
coast of Canada. At this moment in time, God chose
to start the plan, for the rest of my life. I was
conceived at this time and was born on May 11,
1942. Very soon, after, my father left to go overseas
with his division. My mother had to seek employ-
ment to be able to support her family.
During these early years of my life I was raised by
my grandparents, who lived quite close to us. My
mother and I grew very close to one another during
this period. My father was overseas until I was
nearly five years of age. I will always remember my
The journey
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grandparents as a very loving couple. They were
christian people and always went to church on
Sunday. They appeared quite happy with what
little they had. They would always be singing and
laughing with me.
Years later, other family relatives, said my father was
never the same, when he returned home from the
war. I used to ask who this man was and why was he
staying here? We never became very close, my
father and I, until much later in life. Isnt it strange
that I can say the same thing for my relationship with
my heavenly Father, even though they were both in
my life all this time. My father, mother, two sisters
and I needed to pick up our family life. There was a
lot of pressure to finish building the house my father
had started before the war.
In those days, my family would have been
considered blue collar or working class people. The
entire neighborhood we lived in was made up of
similar families. We think it is terrible when we hear
of all the neighbourhood shootings today, but this
even happened back in the mid nineteen-fifties.
We were playing one day, in front of my grand-
parents house, when one of the kids had been teased
by some others. He ran home angry and then
suddenly from the second story window of his house
he began shooting a rifle. We all ran for cover, but
not before one of the bullets hit my youngest sister.
I thought for sure she was dead. They rushed her off
for medical attention and the police came and
captured him. Fortunately, she had only been grazed
on her side and returned home quickly. This was
certainly an awful scare for all of us and it taught me
how quickly life could change. That night I thanked
God in my prayers for saving my sister.
One incident that now stands out in my mind, as a
Godly moment, was something small but very
important. When I was about fifteen, I was out with
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my friends on a Saturday night. We were just driving
around killing some time when somebody spotted
this really fancy car parked on the side street. It had
very expensive covers (hubcaps) on the wheels.
Someone suggested coming back when it got darker
and helping our selves to the covers. As it came time
to go back, I asked them to let me out of the car so I
could walk or hitch hike home. Before I had gone
very far, they returned. They asked me if I wanted a
ride home and I took it. The next morning two
policemen appeared at my parents door. They got me
out of bed and told me we were going to the police
station. I knew my father would beat the daylights
out of me and so my mother took me to the station.
When we arrived there, I learned that someone had
seen our license plate number and called the police.
They rounded up the driver who gave them the
names of everyone in the car. They questioned me
with my mother in the room. I told them that I had
not been in the car when this took place but they had
offered me a ride home later. The detective said this
was the same information the other boys had offered.
They had to confirm this for the record. My mother
believed me. She said I would not have done this.
I went to church every week and did not get into
trouble. I knew that God had a part in this for sure
when one of my friends probation was that he had to
go to church with me for a set period of time.
It is obvious today that God was working in my life,
although I did not know it then.
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As time progressed into my teenage years, I met a
girl named Marilyn who eventually became my
wife. I am not totally clear about all the circum-
stances, but I do remember that I had made arrange-
ments with her father to look at his car for some
mechanical repairs. They had invited me to stay for
dinner. I realize today that this too would be part of
Gods plan for each of us, as she would need a lot of
support in the future. Initially she refused to sit at the
table with us because she could not stand the
smell of motor oil. God had other plans for us and
circumstances eventually led to our marriage.
Just prior to this period of our upcoming marriage,
I had gone through the lowest period of my life
and I was certainly glad I had Marilyn in my life
to support me. Little did I know that these roles
would be reversed, in a short time. My mother had
developed cancer and spent her last months at
The next phase
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home with us. I did all I could to take care of
her till she passed on. This really devastated me as
I mentioned earlier. Refer to page 31.
After her death I prayed constantly to God, to give
me the strength to go on with my life, and there were
days when I did not care too. Marilyn was with me
trying to give support and lessen the burden that was
seemingly overcoming me.
I was still trying to pull myself together after this
black period, when Marilyn and I were making plans
for our upcoming marriage. We were truly looking
forward to our life as a couple together after the
wedding ceremony. We had started attending church
together, although Marilyn was not a christian at the
time we met. When we were dating, she had shared
with me that she had been adopted and her parents
were not her birth parents. This in itself, did not
have much meaning to me, as lots of people were
adopted. I was soon to learn that this would almost
consume our married life together.
Just days before our wedding day, Marilyn was
talking too her mother and right out of the blue her
mother informs Marilyn who her birth mother was.
It had been another family member whom she had
come to know over the years. This was, I believe,
the very worst situation that would ever happen
to us as a couple and to our marriage. If words could
ever be used for destructive purposes, this was to be
a classic example. This one single event, would have
ramifications that even till today, have not been
completely dealt with.
If you can even imagine two people, attempting to
start a fresh life together, with all this hanging over
them. Me with this huge loss in my heart, from the
death of my mother, and now my wife, with her heart
completely shattered, after receiving this news of her
true birth. This was a deep pit to crawl out of, and we
needed God in our life in a big way. God was all we
had, because we both felt, we had lost all support
from our families.
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We had our wedding in August, 1962 and the two of
us started out together in this new adventure. We
were fortunate to be able to get a new house and get
settled in before starting a family of our own. Our
first child was a little girl and Marilyn was thrilled.
She seemed to be getting better and was very much
in her element with the homemaker role. She
enjoyed keeping the house neat and taking the baby
for walks around the neighborhood. Three years
went by and again we were expecting, this time it
was a little boy. We were both thrilled that God had
seen fit to give us a girl and a boy, but there still
appeared to be some kind of struggle going on
with Marilyn.
We were still attending church on a regular basis, but
Marilyn was struggling with the idea that God could
not appear to help her, in her feelings over the
situation regarding her adoption. She kept telling me
A new start
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that she felt as though she had a hole in her heart,
that just would not heal. We kept praying about this,
but nothing we did seemed to make things any
better. I even began to think we would never get to
resolve this problem. I knew this was satans way of
turning a positive life into a negative, depressed state
so he could keep a hold onto you. The fact that her
relationship with her adopted mother started to
change, because of all this, only made matters
worsen. The more questions Marilyn asked, the
wider the gap became.
Sure enough, it wasnt very long and Marilyn had
an all out breakdown, and had to be hospitalized.
I was now left with two small children, one
practically a baby, to be taken care of and still
trying to support my wife in the hospital. Once more,
it seemed that my life was crashing down around me.
I can honestly say, that I know why some people turn
to alcohol and drugs, when the picture seems so
bleak you cannot foresee any direction that is going
to turn this around. Once again, the only thing I
knew, was to call upon God to give me the strength
and perseverance, to get through all this. I truly
loved my wife and would do whatever it was going
to take to get past this. With Gods loving support
and guidance we managed to weather it out and she
came home to be with her family. Much like, when
my father came home, I was never certain that she
was the same as before all this happened. I believe
this is the purpose why God gave me the title for this
book. We always seem to call upon Him when we
are at our lowest point and we expect God to patch
things up for us, so we can get our lives back on
track again.
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Suffering is a part of life that is in God's plan. He
expects us to suffer, and at the same time has
pledged to us that He will always be there to support
and assist us in carrying our burden. God will not see
us having more than we can handle. In the proper
context, suffering can and should be a positive thing.
If a friend called you up and told you their spouse
was injured in an accident and they needed you,
what would you do. Would you just say, I am sorry
but I have tickets to the theatre, could I get back to
you tomorrow or would you forego the tickets and
tell your friend I will be right there. The human side
would want to go to the theatre rather than losing
their ticket purchase. This is our ego putting I or me
before any one else. The being (spiritual) side of us
would go immediately to assist the friend. Our
conscious spiritual thought will have us doing what
God would do, being there to support anothers
To suffer or not
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burden. Even though we miss the theatre, we can
get past that. By lifting their burden, they will be
strengthened to assist their spouse to get past their
suffering. Your strength, added to the strength of
your friend, will help lessen the burden of the
spouses injury.
Thus a negative can have a positive side. This is
the way God really expects us to live. In Hebrews
3; 12-13, it says See to it, brothers, that none of you
has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from
the living God. But encourage one another daily, as
long as it is called today, so that none of you may be
hardened by sins deceitfulness.
There are times when God sends us clues and
messages that He has a plan for our life and we
just need to acknowledge them. This was one of
those times.
Marilyn and the children had gone away for a few
days, to a friends cottage. I seldom read newspapers,
but this day I opened a paper to the want ads. An ad
for an automotive teacher in Parry Sound appeared
to jump off the page at me. I had never before
thought about something like this, but I could not get
this out of my mind. There was no phone where
Marilyn was staying. I jumped into the car and drove
up to where she was, so we might discuss this
together. I arrived in the middle of the night and
scared the life out of them. She thought that
something terrible must have happened. I told her I
wanted to apply for this job. I think she agreed, just
to please me, thinking it would never happen. I had
The message
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an interview and actually got accepted for the job.
When we went back to look for a place to live, the
only thing available was miles out of town. She told
me she could never live so far out of town with two
small children. After some discussion and prayer,
I decided to turn down the offer. I still believe today,
that God had a plan, for me to teach others.
Life continued much as it had been for a while.
As we grew as a couple so did my involvement at
the church. I had held many different positions
within the church organization. The time I was on
the committee to select a minister was the ultimate
chance to do my best for God. It also turned out to
be the most devastating.
I knew that all eyes of the church would be on
this committee and expectations were high. It was a
long process. Eventually it concluded with the
minister being hired that Marilyn and myself had
recommended. Others had gone to hear him as well,
but some where not quite as certain as we had been.
He began his ministry and for a few years everything
seemed just great. We were quite pleased with the
outcome and I felt I had done the best I could have.
One day I received a phone call. It was a very close
friend, who did not attend our church, but we had
Hard choices
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been close for years. He said that maybe I should pay
some attention to the house were the church
secretary lived. I knew that she had been having a
difficult time recently, but did not fully comprehend
what this might entail. I decided to involve another
very close church friend that I trusted completely.
The two of us staked out, so to speak, the secretarys
house. It was not long and the minister from the
church showed up, walking. This in itself should not
be unusual, except why would he have to park his
car around the corner on the other street instead of
right in front of the house. Visits by your clergy, are
not unusual, until they begin to look suspicious.
When they last for an extended period of time, even
that can be legitimate.
We maintained this investigation for a number of
days and it when on for as long. Upon checking on
the schedule for the minister at the church, it
appeared he was at some other location when we
thought we saw him here. Of course he was!
This ended with him eventually leaving and I was
devastated, simply because I shouldered a lot of the
blame for bringing him here. I started to pull away
from my relationship with the church, as I could not
foresee ever having the same feelings about my
christian life again. This really tore me away from
any personal relationship with God.
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Years went by after the episode at the church, and
I settled into the job that I currently had, being
fairly satisfied with my life. During this period, we
seemed to be living more, for the lifestyle that our
friends were living, instead of the christian life we
should have. I say this, because a lot of our friends
were Christians, but the lives they were living, left
me questioning what a true christian life really was.
A lot of them smoked, drank and partied up a storm.
This did not seem right to me.
I talked to Marilyn about this and we started to draw
even further away from our church. This only made
matters worse, because we now had virtually no
reason, to remain close with God at all. During this
entire period of my life I had always felt that I
understood what a christian life was all about. I was
so far off that it was incredible. I knew who God
was, but did not understand what God was all about.
Understanding
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I realize today that first comes knowledge, then
understanding, and then wisdom. If you miss the
understanding part, the knowledge just becomes
useless information, that you do not use for
Gods work.
I have missed out on so many of Gods
messages because I did not understand what the
message was all about. That had been the case, in the
first instance, were I did not accept the teaching
job that God had brought to me. I will show you
later were he does not give up on this scenario
of teaching.
Another example of Gods intervention, was the
time I had been really suffering greatly with tired-
ness, headaches, and unable to concentrate on any-
thing. It had actually gotten so bad, that when I woke
up in the morning and got out of bed, I would col-
lapse to the floor. I had no idea what was wrong with
me. My doctor told me I was just working too much.
While at work one day, there was a program on the
radio, in the work area outside my office. I could
hear the conversation of the individuals, and I said to
myself, that just sounds like me. From what they
were describing, it was exactly the same symptoms
that I had been suffering with. This was newly
discovered, and was called Sleep Apnea. I called my
doctors office and asked them to get me some
information on this subject. They had not heard of it,
but were willing to look into it.
The very next day they called me with a date for an
appointment at Toronto Western hospital. Most
people were waiting up to six months for their
appointment. I had my visit within less than a
month. After the examination and test results, I had
a breathing machine within a few weeks. The results
had showed that I stopped breathing two hundred
times an hour and they were quite shocked I had not
had a stroke by this time already. Here again God
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had intervened before things got to a point of
no return.
If you think that I was very thankful to God for
what He had done, try again. I went home from the
hospital and found so much energy, that I was taking
on all kinds of jobs I could not do before I got the
CPAP machine. This went on for a number of years
in this fashion and I began to slide even further away
from God. I thought I was doing all this by myself
and did not need any one else. Sound familiar!
I had decided to throw myself into my job, just to
find something with meaning. There was a lot of
pressure being placed upon me, at my work, to
perform at a very high level. I had not lost my
christian beliefs completely, but there was no place
for them at the work place. Many times I would be
criticized by my superior for, as they said, wearing
my heart on my sleeve. This did not make my life
with God any easier.
My employer had made the decision to computerize
the ordering process within the division that I
supervised. I was selected to work with the
computer company to assist the design of all the
necessary documents, for the various departments. I
helped to design and develop the training manual for
the departments. I was involved in the actual training
throughout all the departments that would use the
system. I really was enjoying this and believed this
was the thing that God had set up for me to do. I lost
the first teaching position that came my way. Now I
was being given another opportunity to show what I
could do. Even through all of this, I had slipped to
the point of believing this was all working out
because I was that good on my own.
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pushed right through the gurney. I was certain in my
mind I would hit the floor. The technicians were
administering nitroglycerin via the intravenous
system. Immediately my head felt it was going to
explode, with the pain from the nitroglycerin. I could
not tell which pain was more intense. They said they
were doing all they could.
I do not know how long this went on, but I was
certain I was going to die. I began to pray to God and
ask Him what were my chances of survival. I said,
that if this was my time then I was fully
prepared to go with Him. Then I said, if for any
reason, you have something else that I have not
completed, then tell me and I will do whatever it is
you ask. My life is yours, to do whatever you decide
to do, and with that I blacked out.
During this time period, how long I am not sure,
I remember being taken someplace that I can only
describe this way. There was nothing there, but
blackness and complete silence. I would have to
believe that only a person with no sight and no
hearing would be experiencing this same feeling.
The worst part of this experience was the feeling of
complete aloneness. You could not see another
person or hear another sound, the only sound was the
beating of your own heart. I was not even certain
of that either. If this was not heaven, and I knew it
was not anyplace I had seen on earth. Surely this
was hell.
I woke up, it was the next day and immediately
I knew what decision God had made for me. You just
cannot imagine how thankful to God I was at this
moment. Once the staff realized I was awake, the
doctor came in to see me here in the intensive care
unit. The doctor told me, he did not know how I
was still here, because most patients with an attack
this severe do not usually make it. He also told me
that if I had not come into the hospital when I did,
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I certainly would not have made it from home.
Later that day they took me for an ultra sound of my
heart. It showed me where I had lost approximately
ten percent of my heart muscle. The artery had
become completely blocked. I told the doctors that
God had been with me and it was His choice that I
came through this. When the surgeon told me later
that day, surgery would not guarantee my having
a complete recovery and not living with limitations,
I decided not to have it and in a couple of days was
signed out of the hospital.
My reason for refusing the surgery came from
weighing the risk of having surgery and the life
I could have without it. I could not see going through
surgery for no added benefit, if I could make my
own changes for more benefit. When it came time to
see my family doctor, his advice was that I would
need a complete lifestyle change or I would most
certainly have another heart attack.
I went home from his office, called my employer,
and said I would not be back. I enquired, would a
small pension be possible? We also put our house up
for sale. We knew we could not afford to stay living
here in Mississauga. We went up to our trailer at
Huntsville, Ont. to think about our future. While we
were there, Marilyn drove down a street she had
never been on before and saw a house for sale. We
got an appointment to see it and ended up buying it.
My heart attack was in February and by the end of
August, I had left my job, sold our house and moved
to Huntsville. That was the craziest summer my
family had ever spent, but it was not to be the worst.
Once we got settled in, we found a lot more work
than we imagined.
In a short time period my personal health started to
feel pretty good. I questioned how, with all the
problems that I experienced, I could feel this good.
I gather this goes back to what I said in the beginning
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about were we live having an impact on our health.
I know so many people, that have had bad heart
experiences and live in fear for quite some time, just
waiting for the other shoe to drop and
they are finished. This is such a negative, deep
seeded position to overcome, some times people
actually cause it to happen.
If we are willing to accept the fact that it did happen
and we have very little control over it happening
again, any more than we did the first time. We can do
many things to control our diet, physical health,
lifestyle and all the other things that influence how
we live. We can also put our faith in God, that He
will do everything He can for us, as long as we are
doing everything we can for Him. It is very difficult
for a lot of people to accept that God really does
have a plan for our life. He does not want to cut that
plan short, but when we do so many things against
His plan and fall into Satans trap, why should He be
willing to give us the maximum benefits from this
plan. This would be like working for somebody for
about 20 years and robbing them all during this
period. Then be dumbfounded when we get fired
just before we are about to retire. Quite often, Gods
plan for us, as in my case, never really comes to a
true understanding until later in our life. If we chose
to ignore a lot of the earlier lessons, its because we
were so absorbed in our own negative defeatism.
Then how do we manage to blame God for our
misery?
God wants us to be positive and happy, as this is His
whole goal in our relationship. Once we figure this
out, what a different outlook we get for the world
around us.
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When first arriving in Huntsville, we had not been
attending church, while we tried to settle in.
Eventually we went to a church which was the same
as the type we left behind us. We knew very quickly,
this was not going to work, as not one person tried to
make us feel welcome.
One day, while eating out at Harveys, we met old
friends from our past (another God moment). They
too had moved to Huntsville and were attending the
Faith Baptist church. They suggested we join them
the following Sunday, we did. Once again, I see
today, this too was part of what God was planning
for our lives. He needed us to attend this church, so
He could get us the training we would need, as well
as meet the people that would shape our lives for
later on.
While we enjoyed the church, we got very involved
in the community. I would go out and do small repair
Starting over
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jobs for people, that might not other wise be able to
pay someone. Doing this was very rewarding to me,
especially when you saw how people really
appreciated what you did for them. This too was an
answer to their prayers. I most especially remember
one instance that will stay with me forever.
It started out when I got a message, a lady living out
of town, literally in the bush, had a house with no
door on the kitchen. Now in itself, this does not
sound like a desperate situation, but you will see
how it was to her. You have to understand that not
everyone is living in the same situation in our world.
Sometime those of us living a decent way of life,
often forget that others out there may not be as well
off. This does not mean that these individuals, do not
deserve the same benefits from God that we get.
The little cabin had a country porch added on to the
wall were the kitchen door was and the porch was
not heated. You also need to understand that
minus forty degrees Celsius in the winter is not
uncommon here. It was already winter, when I
decided to begin this particular job, of installing the
door on the kitchen.
The church had agreed to donate the door if I did
the labor. The lady had left for work before I arrived
and explained were to get the key to let myself in.
I opened up the cabin and proceeded ahead with the
job. Within an hour, a storm hit the area and it was
freezing rain. I had started off working outside, on
her front porch, but quickly had to move my tools
into my vehicle. I had to go in and out to my vehicle
to do the work, and the ice was starting to build up
on everything, making work extremely difficult.
There were moments when I contemplated just
giving up, but knew God wanted this finished.
I completed the work around mid afternoon. As I
cleaned up my tools I saw that my vehicle had built
up about a half inch of ice all over it. It took almost
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an hour of cleaning to get were I could drive the car.
Now I had to face the roads. Remember I am back in
the bush with no help and no cell phone. I drove
down the icy roads and prayed to God for safety,
all the way home.
That night I answered the phone and some one was
crying on the other end. I did not understand what
was going on. Finally a voice on the other end said
she wanted to thank me so much for the new door.
This was the first time she was able to cook her
dinner without wearing her coat inside to keep her
warm. The appreciation in her voice was all I
needed to hear, to make it all worth while. God had
answered another prayer!
While attending this Baptist church, we had both
gotten baptized and had started going to regular
bible study groups. All the while doing this there was
still the question in the back of my mind as to what
God really had in mind for me. We made many
friends in the neighborhood and really enjoyed
spending time with these people. Little did we know
then, this simple gesture of making friends with
new people was to be our training for our future
programs with God.
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In 2005 things started to unravel for our lives again.
Seems just as the high would come, so would the
lows. We had two sheltie dogs when we came too
Huntsville. In the month of May, our male dog took
sick with cancer and had to be put down. This was
very tough on both of us. We had not done
anything like this for many years, and the dog was
only eight.
At the end of May, Marilyns mother took ill and
passed away very quickly. This took a huge toll on
Marilyn as her parents were both living in Port
Credit, four hours away. After the service we stayed
with her father to help clean up his house and
property. This took most of the summer and I had to
call upon our neighbors back home to care for our
own house. This showed us how much these people
thought of us, as they pitched in without any
question. Marilyns father decided he wanted to sell
The worst pit yet
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his house and move in with either of his daughters.
Marilyn wanted him to come with us. She saw that
he might not take care of himself if left on his own
and his health was beginning to fail also. With my
own health not one hundred percent, all this
travelling back and forth and the heavy work
involved, I started to feel pretty worn out myself.
I had been in the hospital in Huntsville for a routine
examination of my stomach for too much stomach
acid, (you think), and during the examination the
doctor went beyond the stomach into the duodenum.
Well, he discovers a tumor growing in there and I am
scheduled later, to have it removed at St. Michaels
hospital in Toronto.
When it comes time for the surgery at Toronto, they
ask me how did we happen to find this, at such a
location. It was situated such that it could seal off the
pancreas fluid exit and I could have died from pan-
creatitus. It was by accident I say, but today I know
that God had taken the doctor to this place.
As I am waiting to go into surgery, I am introduced
to a doctor who is doing the operation, what a
surprise. It is not my doctor, but a doctor from New
York city. He is the best in the world to have
successfully done this operation many times. He
pioneered this routine when he worked at St.
Michaels and now was here to operate on me, as he
is the best for the job. What grace God has when He
goes to these lengths just for someone like me, an
ordinary man. The surgery was being telivised by
satellite around the world, as a teaching program.
Sound familiar, God and the teaching aspect again!
We had an opportunity, to enjoy Marilyns father
with us, for a little over five months. He had severe
health problems and Marilyn found she just did not
have the strength to take care of certain physical
aspects that had to be performed. So with Gods help
I offered to do these things for him in her place.
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I found this somewhat difficult, but with God
helping me, I got through it.
Now, while we were having our own personal
struggles, my sister closest to me by age found out
her husband had a very rapid cancer diagnosis.
Struggling with this by herself, she needed someone
to look too for help, hence here I go again. I was very
appreciative that our youngest sister was able to
jump in and lend a hand, as I was starting to feel that
life itself was starting to overpower me. I was
calling out to God every night for the strength to
survive this debilitating time.
When we got the call that my brother-in-law was
doing poorly, we felt it best to get down to Orillia
and visit him. We had only just driven back home to
Huntsville and that evening the call came that he had
passed away. This shock in itself was bad, but then
Marilyns dad had to go into the hospital and also
passed away two days after my brother-in-law. Here
we are, now having to run between Orillia and
Huntsville for two funerals at the same time. Gods
love and grace most certainly was upon us at
this time or we would never have survived the
whole ordeal.
This whole year 2005 had been one of the most try-
ing periods in our lives. If a test of your strength and
faith in God was ever to be challenged, this was the
year it happened. We could never have made it
without God there by our side, leading us onward.
He even had a plan to help us recover from all this
when some friends invited us to join them in Destin,
Florida. They had contacted their rental owner to see
if she had an empty unit for a few weeks and she did.
This was the beginning of my relationship full time
with God.
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A relationship develops
Once we got to Florida we discovered a marvelous
church, called Village Baptist. We began to meet
christian snowbirds at the church and I joined in on
the Saturday morning bible study for men. These
people came from all over the USA and Canada. It
certainly opened our eyes to all different aspects of
christianity that we had never seen before this. It was
almost as if the whole teaching of our christian life
had been in a vacuum. The outpouring of grace from
these strangers to us was overwhelming. Stu Nelson
the pastor in charge of the snowbirds was like no one
we had ever met in our lives. Between him and Miss
Nancy, as they called her, they shared a love for God
that we had never seen before this time.
We came home from there that year, with a renewed
feeling about life that was almost more than we
could contain. This was really great, until we arrived
back home and I suppose like anything else all good
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news isnt shared the same way by everyone. I
wanted to share the way I felt with everyone around
us, but some just were not ready for me.
Good news wasnt all that we came home with that
first year. I had injured my knee on the beach and
when I arrived home, had to go to Orillia for
orthoscopic surgery that summer. God took care of
me again and I had the surgery very quickly, instead
of waiting in pain for months till it happened. We
found that, half way through our summer, all we
could think of was getting back to Florida and seeing
all the people again.
I have now learned that just because a person calls
themselves an evangelical, they may not be
evangelistic. The difference being that, an
evangelical christian can proclaim the gospel of
salvation and then just ends the conversation and
moves on, whereas an evangelistic christian will
proclaim the gospel and then wants to stick around
and talk and pray with you. This is neither, right or
wrong on anyones part, just a differing of persons
and their approach.
As the winter came closer, so did the time for our
next vacation. The situation with me having a weak
knee after the surgery, started us thinking about
perhaps moving into a bungalow. We did not find
anything we liked that well, so we started
negotiations with a builder, to have a brand new
house built. We paid him a deposit for the land and
would negotiate the balance when we returned home
from our winter vacation. We agreed to place our
home for sale, when we got back, and this would
give us roughly six weeks to firm up our deal.
We had always wanted to take our family to Walt
Disney World on a family vacation and this was the
year we had chosen. Arrangements had been made
for us to drive down early and all the kids and grand
kids would fly down a day or so later. We looked so
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much for this to be a wonderful time to share with
our whole family together, as this is very often a
once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well, the surgery I had, left me with a slight weak
knee. I could not walk for long distances, and the
heat would get to me if I stayed out for a long
period in the sun. My family arranged for a wheel
chair, to help me out with the walking but,
unfortunately I missed a lot of the events, due to
going back to the motel and lying down in the
afternoon. Overall it was a great vacation with the
kids, with one exception.
This one afternoon I lined up for the big parade, in a
special section for all the wheelchairs. All the kids
were with us and it was a little crowded, when just
as the parade almost gets to our location, my wife
decides to give me a better view. She moved the
wheelchair, which could not go anywhere due to the
crowd, and she shoved me over the curb and I spilled
out onto the road, right in front of the parade people.
She and all the kids burst out in laughter, while
people rushed to pick me up as I am carrying a
video camera and other items. I was not thrilled and
this was, of course, the conversation for the rest of
the vacation.
We left there and arrived in Destin again and took up
right were we left off. This year was to be very
different, when we signed up for a class with the
senior pastor at the church. His name was Steven
Davies, and I knew from the very start that I would
be changed in some form after this vacation. We
thoroughly enjoyed his course, and I spent many an
afternoon being able to just drop into his office to
have a conversation about God. He did tell me that,
I had to learn to hold back a little on my approach to
people. He said that I came at them like a bowling
ball going for a strike, instead of just wanting to get
their attention.
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That winter was the time that God asked me to write
this book and I believed this to be a joke on me and
tried to just let it go. God did not joke around, in this
case and when He wanted something done, it just
would not leave your head. He tossed every kind of
message at me until finally I said, OK. I did not
complete a lot of work on the book, that first winter,
but did get off to a good start.
Pastor Stu was looking for some men to help with a
program that helped people from the church who had
terminal illnesses. The mans name was Mike and he
had cancer. I went with some other fellows to where
his workshop had been. We thought it would be at
his home, but it turned out to be his business, and we
were going to clean it all out, ready for auction. I had
never done anything like this before and what made
it even worse for me was the fact, they actually
brought him there to tell us what to keep and let go.
As we worked through the day, I had an opportunity
to speak with Mike about how he was handling his
illness and what he thought for his future. A sadness
started to come over me and yet, at the same time,
knowing that he was all right with this seemed to
make it ok. I felt sad because, this was this mans
entire life here before us and some of it was kept and
some went in the trash. How do we make these kinds
of decisions?
He was very clear that he knew he was dying and his
relationship with God at this time was one that I had
never discussed with anyone before. A couple of
weeks later we went to his home and did a big
cleanup in his yard, so that his wife would not have
to do it later. Again the opportunity to sit and talk
with him arose, and he was one of the strongest
persons I had ever met. At noon that day, Stus
wife came with food for everyone, and even she
was fighting a cancer illness. This whole matter of
people with such strength from God just blew me
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away. If this does not change a person, nothing will.
The two of us, Marilyn and I, shared a lot of fun
times with our friends, Canadian and American, and
it was soon time to go back home.
Even bigger decisions
We arrived back in Huntsville, mid to late March,
and contacted the real estate broker to put the house
up for sale. Knowing the price of the new home gave
us a place to start, with our asking price for the
current house. We waited with eager anticipation for
the offers to come in, as the date to start digging the
new foundation, was only a little over a month away.
The weeks seemed to go by, like a rocket heading to
the moon, and not one offer had been placed with
the agent.
We started to get concerned as the third week passed,
and called the builder for a meeting. We explained to
him that, if the price of our old house had to be
lowered, it would place a bigger burden on the
payment of the new house. He told us there was no
room to adjust his price and it was pretty much set.
We left that meeting very dejected, as this did not
seem to be going as we had hoped it would.
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After praying about it all night, we called the builder
back in the morning, and asked if we could get out
of the deal and have our deposit back. He agreed to
this and said he was quite sorry things did not appear
to be working for us. While we were at his office,
picking up our cheque, two phone calls came to our
answering machine for people to look at the house.
We knew immediately that God had not wanted us to
have this new house, as it would have been too big a
burden to carry it.
That afternoon, our neighbors came over for coffee,
to console us. They knew how badly we had wanted
to have the new house built and saw the hurt that we
were suffering. They brought a magazine for us to
read and I had tossed it on the coffee table, it opened
up to a page were an advertisement for an adult
living community was printed.
Later when Marilyn came by she saw the advertise-
ment and started to read it. She called me in to ask
me if I had read this and I had not. We were sitting
with our house for sale and no were to go, so she said
lets call them and get an appointment. She was
especially interested because the area for this
community was only thirty minutes from our kids
address. We came to Freelton the next week, and fell
in love with the community, and put in a conditional
offer right then.
Over the summer we had offers three different times
and each time we felt we would be moving, they all
fell through for various reasons. We had been
dropping our price each time and were now at a
point that even getting this new house looked like it
might not happen. The very first offer we got was a
cash offer and the people had come in ridiculously
low, but at this point, even that offer was starting to
look like a possibility. We prayed about this again
and I told Marilyn that now it was about the
moving, not getting our price. If God had lead us to
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this new place, then we had to go regardless about
the cost.
We called up the first couple and they were still
interested, so we accepted their offer and sold it for
sixty thousand dollars below our original asking
price. All the documents were prepared and signed
for a cash deal, and a few days later, after we had
firmed up the deal on the new house, the lady tried
to cancel the deal at Huntsville.
This process had just about worn us out over the
summer, as so many times we thought we were
going and they fell through, this was almost too
much for my wife. I could see the strain coming on
her, just like it had the other time, she had been hos-
pitalized and it scared the life out of me. We let the
lawyers work it out and carried on with our plans to
go. Many of our church friends kept saying we were
not meant to go, but I was positive God would come
through for us, I never gave up hope.
The movers that we had arranged now wanted to
charge us by weight, not the load, and it was going
to be more than we could afford. It seemed that all
was falling apart in our life again, until a christian
friend who did auctions said he could move us.
Another christian friend called us and offered to
move all my shop equipment from the garage, this
was all the heavy stuff which had ran up the other
price. These offers were an answer to our prayers
and we wanted to leave so bad by now, we left a
week before the old house closed, just to get out
of there.
We finally got moved, in a couple of trips and our
neighbors called the next Saturday. The old house
closed on the Friday, and Saturday had a for sale
sign on it. What a blessing it was to see the end of
that. Of course, everyone that knew us, thought we
had lost the deal again and the calls were pouring in
to console us. We just chuckled and thanked God for
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taking care of all our problems for us.
It had been tough to leave our very close neighbors
that we had come to love dearly, but we were
keeping in touch by phone as often as possible. We
knew that God had now brought us to the next phase
of our journey with Him.
The answer to the question
It was the first Tuesday in October, 2007, when we
arrived at our new home in Antrim Glen adult
community. There was an awful lot of work to do,
just to get settled in and we did not know a single
person there, (or so we thought). After a solid week
of work, I told Marilyn we had to get out and look
around the community. Marilyn went to the ladies
bible study on the next Monday and I was planning
to go to the mens study on Thursday. A neighbor
lady around the corner, Elizabeth asked Marilyn to
come to the couples study on Tuesday nights. She
was not sure if I would go so she said, Ill let you
know. That Tuesday morning a knock at the door,
revealed Elizabeth wanting to know my answer.
Marilyn looked at me and we said, yes. That night as
we entered the home of the couple hosting the study,
Marilyn screams out, I know you! It seems that
she had attended the same high school with this
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couple back in Port Credit were we had lived. From
there, things have just grown incredibly for us, with
God performing all these things that just keep
making us more comfortable in this place every day.
It is now for certain, that Gods plan for us, was to be
brought to this community.
We have been back to Florida since moving and this
year we are staying in a new place, right on the
ocean. This is on the fourth floor and the view is
incredible, dolphins swimming past, sunrises,
sunsets, etc. I have spent most of the holiday
reading, and writing my own book. I read five books
this winter, it was almost like I could not get enough
information. My own book is more than half
completed.
When we left home to come down to Florida, our pet
dog seemed to be getting sick. Over the vacation she
got much worse, we left a week early to go home, as
I would not leave her down there. One week after
getting home she passed on. Another phase of our
lives seemed to be coming to a close, with this our
last pet.
Our new family doctor wanted to get a new reading
on all my medical problems. I was scheduled for an
angeogram and the day of, was told it was
impossible, too blocked up for stints. I was then
scheduled for a triple bypass surgery, but it to was
canceled due mainly to the amount of risk involved.
I will not be physically capable of going through the
tumor operation either, (it grew back) unless I have
the heart surgery first.
At this time, I am of the belief that God is intending
to look after me from here on. I had already made the
decision in 1999 to give my entire life over to God
and now am still living a positive life, with the help
from God and will live within my limitations. The
greatest outlook I have right now is, knowing that
I have a relationship with God that is very
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meaningful and I get to spend as much time as
I have with my wife, doing what we want.
A genuine relationship is one that is not dominated
by the ego, with its image making and self-seeking.
In a genuine relationship, there is an outward flow of
open, alert attention toward the other person, in
which there is no wanting whatsoever. The alert
attention, is Presence.
My desire is that this book has opened your mind
to God and may have had some small impact on
your life.
Acknowlegement
I want to acknowledge the two people that really
showed me the way to communicate with God.
The first person was an individual named Mike
Tracy, who I met in Florida. Mike was dying of
cancer and taught me what it was to really trust God
even though you knew that your time here was
limited. He showed me a strength that I had never
understood before. He was living in peace even
through all his pain. I felt he was an amazing person.
Secondly, Pastor Steven Davies, of Village Baptist
church, for the short time I knew him, was a great
mentor to me. He taught me to allow myself to gain
control of the feeling for God that I had now, and not
knock people over with my enthusiasm. Our
afternoon discussions gave me a whole new insight
into our God. I cannot thank him enough for all he
did for me.
This book is dedicated to these two individuals,
in thanks and memorial.
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