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Goal Setting
Teens Can Make it Happen
Do you believe you have control over your life?
We have a lot more influence
than we think we have.
Take a look at your goal from last semester, if you did not meet your goal, try to pinpoint why you didn’t.
If you did meet your goal, think about what worked.
Obstacles
1. “I can’t” or Negative thoughts and messages
2. Lack of motivation
3. Lack of focus
4. Not enough time
5. Procrastination
6. Fear of taking risks
Who tells you that you can’t accomplish your dream?
1. Influence of others
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
We all need a support system: friends and adults who believe in us (Relationship Circle).
2. The voices inside our heads.
Sometimes we can be our own biggest critic and obstacle. We are hard on ourselves!
Self-fulfilling prophecy:
Whether you believe you can or you can’t do something, you
are right.
Make a list of those people who believe in you.
These people are your Support System.
My Support System:
1. Friends – name them
2. Family: siblings, cousins, grandparents, aunts/uncles
3. Adults: parents, teachers, coaches
4. Who else?
List 3 negative things you tell yourself.
1. I can’t ………
2.
3.
Self-fulfilling prophecy:
If you believe you can or can’t do something, you are right.
Positive Thinking:
What can we do to turn a negative thought into a positive one?
• Focus on successes in our life
• Remind ourselves of the positive qualities we have
• Turn the thought into a personal challenge to be proven incorrect
• Sometimes, we have to give ourselves a break - everyone makes mistakes. We all have set backs and obstacles.
How can our support system
help?
•
They can listen to us when the going gets tough.
They talk us out of our negative thoughts.
They can give advise, maybe from experience.
They can see things as outsiders.
They believe in us!
Do you believe you have control over your life?
We can’t do much about what others may say or think about us. We can only focus on the things that are within our control.
Success Circles are categories where we can improve in our lives.
We have the power to influence the things that matter most inside our Success Circles.
Success Circles
1.
2.
3.
1.
2.
3.
1.
2.
3.
School/Career Planning
RelationshipsPersonal
Development
What matters most to you in each circle?
You can make them happen.
School/Career Planning
1.
2.
3.
4.
What means the most to you in this category?
How can you be successful in this category?
Relationships
What means the most to you in this category?
How can you be successful in this category?
1.
2.
3.
4.
Personal Development
What means the most to you in this category?
How can you be successful in this category?
1.
2.
3.
4.
Success Circles1. Do homework
2. Ask for help
3. Talk to counselor about a chosen career
1. Get along better with parents
2. Confide in someone I trust
3. Help my close friends
1. Exercise regularly
2. Volunteer my time
3. Take part in a walk-a-thon
School/Career Planning
Relationships Personal
Development
• If we are having a problem in one area, most likely it has a negative affect on the other areas.
• It is important to have a balance in our life, paying attention to school, personal development, relationships with family, friends and the adults who are in a position to help us.
Motivation
can be connected with Vision
Think about this….
If you attain your goals or are on your way to fulfilling them, what will your life be like in
1 year?
5 years?
10 years?
Or another way of looking at it: What will your life be in 1 year, 5 years and 10 years if you don’t fulfill your goal. Which will be better in the long run?
Motivation is also connected to mental health:
Mental health – being positive and optimistic. An optimistic person sees bad times as temporary,
failure as a step to eventual success, and misfortune as the result of circumstances beyond
one’s control.
If you find yourself being pessimistic or negative
• focus on a solution
• seek your support system of those who believe in you
• develop relationships with those with positive, optimistic outlooks
Motivation can be connected with
Willpower
Your will gives you power to respond to your conscience rather than to distractions and outside influences.
Conscience Is this what I should be doing?
FocusRate each question:
Never 1Seldom 2Sometimes 3Frequently 4Always 5
1. How often do you waste time on things you can’t control?
2. How well are you able to let go of the past and focus on the present?
Never 1Seldom 2Sometimes 3Frequently 4Always 5
3. How often do you procrastinate on important tasks, decisions or issues?
4. How often do you act – or not act – out of fear, only to wish later that you had acted differently?
Never 1Seldom 2Sometimes 3Frequently 4Always 5
5. How often do you take actions or steps toward your goals?
6. How much of your time is spent based on your priorities and what you want to achieve?
7. How well do you take charge of your time on a day-to-day basis?
Score:
5 - 10: Excellent11 - 16: Very good17 - 22: Good23 - 28: OK29 - 35: Poor
4 Keys to Staying Focused on Your Vision
1. It is just as important to know what not to
do as what to do.
Don’t back down when faced with challenges or hard times, but don’t waste time on things you cannot control.
2. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted from the truly important things in your journey by the urgent things that cry out to you.
3. Don’t procrastinate. Be Proactive.
Procrastinators are not people who don’t know what to do; they’re people who do know what to do but for various reasons they don’t take action.
This attitude makes it extremely hard to reach goals.
*********************************
4. Every day, do something that is truly important in moving you toward your goals.
***********************************
Improving Your Time Management Skills
Write down 2 - 3 ideas that could help you with time management from the following list:
1. Plan your time regularly
2. Make a list of everything you need to do each day
3. Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today. Just do it.
4. Prioritize tasks and estimate how much time each will take.
5. Eliminate all the self-distractions that you can as you work on your task.
6. Focus on one thing at a time.
7. Write down important thoughts or notes related to the task. Don’t rely on your memory.
8. Set and keep deadlines.
9. Slow down and regroup when you feel overwhelmed.
Do something daily towards your goal.
Risk Taking
Risk Taking
1. What is one risk you could take today that would move you most efficiently and effectively toward fulfilling your goal or your vision of a better life?
2. What is the one thing you fear the most about taking that risk?
3. What one habit or thing holds you back from taking that risk?
4. Why is this a fear for you?
5. How an you overcome it? Consider practical steps to take, resources and people who can offer assistance.
6. List one action you can take this week to reduce the impact of the fear.
The most important risks to take are those that will move you most quickly toward your goals.
Failure to take risks limits your opportunity and new experiences.
By avoiding risks, you are giving in to fears and miss opportunities.
• Failure can provide an opportunity to learn. Some of the most useful lessons are learned as a result of things that didn’t work out.
• In order to evaluate a risk, balance your needs and desires with your goals and values.
• If you take a risk and it works out well, you not only get closer to your goal but you add a tremendous amount to your self-confidence.
Procrastination
Procrastination Rating1.When faced with a large or complex task, you
a. Hide behind the couch until the task deadline has passed
b. Consider all the things you have to do to complete the task and get depressed
c. Make a game plan and then begin bit by bit
2. You have been assigned to write a five-page paper for one of your classes. You react by
a. Going to a fast-food restaurant because you can think better on a full stomach
b. Asking your friends what they are going to write about
c. Getting a start on your paper, even if it’s to research what to write about.
3. When you are in the middle of a project or task, and someone laughs and says, “Man, no way can you do that!” you
a. Agree with the person and say you must have had sunstroke when you took on the task.
b. Say you could do it if you wanted, but you guess you didn’t really want to do it right now.
c. Tell the person to go take a hike, because this is important to you and you’re going to do it.
4. When a task appears to be larger than the world to you, you tell yourself
a. That indeed it is monumental, the whole of humankind depends on you to accomplish this unattainable task, and thus all is gloom and misery, and there is no meaning to life anymore.
b. That you know it’s really not that big; but it feels that big and you’re still stuck and gloomy
c. That you’re not performing brain surgery or curing cancer; the world-and you-will go on regardless of how you perform in this task
5. When faced with a difficult task, you tend to focus on
a. The girl or boy you’d like to go out with
b. The difficulties involved, until they seem overwhelming
c. The rewards at the end, which are tied directly to the purpose of doing the task in the first place.
6. Because you have a history of procrastination, you think it’s a good idea for future tasks that you have some outside support and encouragement. Therefore you
a. Contact your local Procrastinators Anonymous organization, only to find out that their next meeting has been postponed.
b. Enlist the support of your best friend, who is one of the founding members of your local Procrastinators Anonymous
c. Ask a friend or family member to hold you accountable and to help keep you on track
7. When you hear the phrase, “Seize the day! You think of
a. The battle cry of South American revolutionaries
b. People who take on life with zest, voraciously eating it up and looking for more, and you decide that fairly soon, when the time is right, you are going to be like that, too
c. How you can make the most of every day, living with a purpose in mind and making decisions according to that purpose
8. You are faced with a difficult challenge and you find yourself in a familiar place; stuck. You realize your expectation for yourself are too high and are the reason you’re stuck. You decide to
a. Give up and pretend you didn’t are about the challenge in the first place
b. Wait until you have a little more time to tackle the challenge
c. Ease up on your expectations and not expect perfection, because you know you won’t do anything otherwise
If you answered mainly as or bs, you are a seasoned procrastinator and need to work on the 7 points for getting past procrastination. If you answered mainly cs, you don’t have problems with procrastination; you can make decisions and get to the task at hand.
Congratulations!
When was the last time you said…
• This isn’t the right time to …..• I have a few other things to deal with first.• I don’t have time.• I’ve been meaning to do that.• I’m too distracted to do that.• There is probably a safer (better, faster,
easier) way of doing this. I’ll wait for it.• Tomorrow!
Procrastination
Two types of procrastinators:
Arousal – put things off because they get a thrill out of doing things at the last minute
Avoidance – put things off because of fear of failure or wanting to avoid unpleasant things. They believe they are better off not trying than trying and failing. However, to not to try is the biggest failure of all.
Getting past “but…..” and “one day I’m gonna…..”
1.Take small bites.
It is easy for procrastinators to put off large or complex projects or tasks, because they never have enough time to finish it all at once. Therefore, why start?
Break the project down into smaller pieces. Then you only have to focus and finish that portion for now.
Example, you have an essay that is due in a week. Start on your thesis statement and one of the body paragraphs on the first night. On the second night, write the second body paragraph. Third night the Introduction, etc. Continue a portion each night until the entire essay is complete.
Break the project down into manageable pieces.
2. Begin now!
Before you start to come up with excuses, sit down, start working and force yourself to keep going for at least one hour. Then set a time to pick up where you left off. If you force yourself to do something immediately you may surprise yourself at how pleased you are with your progress and it will inspire you to keep at it a little at a time until you finish.
3. Slam the door on critics
When you feel you can’t make a decision because someone is holding you back, break free of that sense of helplessness and victimization. Take control. Sometimes you have to go against the opinions of those around you in order to make the right decision for yourself.
Example: your friends want you to go out and you have an assignment. They are doing so well and school and they want you to do badly as well.
4. Think of the carrot and not the stick.Focus on the rewards that await you rather than on
the difficulties and demands. How many times have you worried about doing
something only to discover that it was not nearly as difficult as you imagined?
Focusing on the difficulties can freeze you from taking action.
When you make a decision that will be challenging for you to carry out but that will better your life, keep in mind how that action will ultimately reward you.
5. Lighten up.
6. Bring in a coach
Look to your support system to be your anti-procrastion coach. Give your coach a list of the things you need to do and order him or her to dog you until you do them.
7. Live in the moment
8. Don’t demand perfection
Tell yourself there is not going to be a perfect time to get started, and that you don’t have to be perfect in your performance. Compromise and start immediately; rough out the task and then build upon it. No one is demanding that you not make no mistakes.
Make your own expectations more realistic and then focus not on your expectations, but on the work needed to be done.
Commitment
A true commitment is doing rather than saying. It is persevering and continuing to pursue your vision in spite of distractions, hardships, criticism and risk.
Write down a commitment you have made already in your life.
Think about commitments you made to your parents, your friends, to a relationship, to sports or to yourself.
Next to the commitment you have kept, write down what positive effect it had on your life. How did you feel?
Commitment: Positive Effect
Lost 5 pounds: fit back into favorite pants
Write down a commitment that you were not able to keep.
Note why you were not able to keep it. (Be honest with yourself. You can only learn from the past when you are honest.)
What was the result from not keeping the commitment?
I promised my parents I would be home at midnight from a party they let me go to. I came back late from party. I wanted to spend more time with my friends (thinking of myself). Now, my parents are less trusting of me.
Keeping a commitment is a major step forward, but breaking one is a step back.
Don’t make commitments that you can’t keep. Make commitments wisely and only after careful consideration. If you overload yourself with responsibilities, you will succeed only in frustrating yourself and those around you.
When you keep commitments, you build confidence and begin to break free from circumstance that have held you back.
The first step to getting unstuck from your life is to stop breaking commitments to yourself.
To be committed, you have to have goals, and you have to have vision and enthusiasm about pursuing that vision.
• Pursuit: The act of striving for or after an activity, such as a vocation or hobby, engaged in regularly.
Enthusiasm comes with an emotional commitment to a vision, goal or dream.
Understand that your life depends not on your goals but in your pursuit of those goals.
When you are leading a life with direction, purpose and enthusiasm, you are truly living.
Think about people you know who are just going through the motions. They tend to have no direction in life and lack enthusiasm. The thought of a challenge sends them running in terror back to the television, back to the street corner hang out, back to going nowhere fast.
Now think about those you know who are full of life. What do they share? A purpose and direction for their life. They also share enthusiasm and energy. A willingness to face challenges and overcome them.
They feel they have control over their life.
Steps to Goal Setting
1. State the Goal
2. Outline the steps
3. List the obstacles and how to avoid them
4. State the deadline
Successful GoalsThe Game Plans of Life
Must:• Be Realistic• Be Meaningful• Be Well-defined• Excite you• Have a logical progression• May need fine tuning• Require positive action
Goals are part of a healthy life
Success Circles1. Do homework
2. Ask for help
3. Talk to counselor about a chosen career
1. Get along better with parents
2. Confide in someone I trust
3. Help my close friends
1. Exercise regularly
2. Volunteer my time
3. Take part in a walk-a-thon
School/Career Planning
Relationships Personal
Development
Obstacles
1. “I can’t” or Negative thoughts and messages
2. Lack of motivation
3. Lack of focus
4. Not enough time
5. Procrastination
6. Fear of taking risks
