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Since I was born until high school, I was a typical Catholic who went to
mass every Sunday and prayed every night before bed. I did these because they
were my duties as a Catholic.
I was diagnosed CNS Lupus in 1999. From then, I have had lots of
barriers including disability in learning. When I graduated, I did not get the
dogwood certificate. I know I cannot be successful worldly.
After high school, although I didn’t continue my schooling, I understand
many truths. For example, “Thou shall not live by bread alone but by the words
of God” and “beauty is not only judged from the look, but by the heart”. I asked
God, “What are your plans for me? How does knowing the truths help me in my
life?” I was confused…
Not long after I graduated, I bought a music CD from Father Mimo, a
Philippine priest. Every morning when I spent an hour listening to his songs and
going for a walk around the lake near my house, I felt like I am closest to God.
Since then, I know I want to be spiritually successful, but I need help… and I
know it is from God.
My biggest barrier for me now is SIN. I pray, “God, in order for me to be
successful spiritually, I need to be closer to you and only by that can I keep
away from sins.
Two years after I graduated, I heard God called me on March 17, 2007.
That moment, I was shocked and stunned. That Sunday, in church, the choir
was singing a song called “Father I have sinned”. The lyrics: “I forgive you; I
love you. You are mine; take my hand, go in peace; sin no more, beloved one.” I
heard God sang this part of the song to me. My heart was filled with His joys
Since that day, I am Alive again. Later I went to a retreat and I learnt
that God want a close relationship with me and you. An ultimate relationship that
we can totally trust Him no matter good or bad.
Through my sickness and tribulations, God not only strengthens my
faith, He also changes my personality from close and shy to open and talkative.
Yes, my illness brings me lots of negative things, but God gives me a mind that
is so optimistic and I can see nothing except the positive things He has given
Last year, I started playing hymns and sang along as a prayer to God.
Each time when I play, I can feel God is teaching me through His songs. To be
humble is another important lesson I learnt. Through humility. I can see there is
value in each one of us. I can love God back by sharing His graces and
goodness to people around me. I also want to bring peace and comfort through
The following lyrics of one hymn, “Prayer of St Francis”, act as the
guideline in my life from now on:
“O Master, grant that I may never seek so much
To be consoled, as to console,
To be understood, as to understand,
To be loved, as to love with all my soul.”
By living His truth, abundance of God’s love, joy and peace fill me
every day living as a cheerful, positive and enthusiastic young man.
God can give you His love which is so real, so true, so beautiful, so
irresistible, and just nothing can describe it. All I did to deserve this gift from God
is I ask, seek and knock.
Now I feel that my relationship with God is so intimate that going to
church is not my duty but is going to His house, to pray, listen, worship and
receive the Eucharist.
Before, when I prayed, I said the Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be and
then I made the sign of cross. But now, I chat with Him like a close friend of
Ask, and it will be given you;
Seek, and you will find;
Knock, and the door will be open for you
For everyone who asks, receives;
He who seeks, finds;
And to Him who knocks, the door will be open.
May you receive God’s true love and may His love surround you