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The Britannic TimesBY ORDERGLOBAL ED.
Issue July 1852
AGEMA,1 The Forge, Lowdham, Nottingham NG14 7BP
~
LONDON
• Lord Derby and theMinister of Trade, Sir Oliver Bar-rett, spoke before the Commonson the morning of the 3rd of Julyregarding a report from severalmerchantmen. This report detailsthat the Global Adventure Trad-ing Company may well be in-volved in the slave trade and insupport of the military of theConfederacy. Lord Derby statedthat he has asked Sir Oliver toinvestigate the matter and thatofficials at the London office ofthe Global Adventure Companyhave been requested to makethemselves available for such ameeting. Sir Oliver stated that theinvestigation should be completeby the end of the month and thatif there is no such violation foundnormal relations will be main-tained.
We note the unsigned rejection ofItalia’s offer of mediation in the dis-pute between the CSA, Britanniaand Osterreich published in last
months Times.
May our government point outthat in February 1852, a month be-fore Italia’s offer, Sima had volun-
teered to host negotiations toattempt ‘to facilitate a peaceful set-tlement’ between the above namednations in Bangkok. This offer was
met with a mute response. Simatherefore formally renews this offer.
Anand Chatewi,Royal Chancellor of Sima.
GALBED
• In the dusty Galbediantown of Tekel Generale Mussoliniwas furious as he patted the shoul-der of Brigadier Nebbia who waslying bandaged and pale on hiscamp bed, for he is badly woundedand has lost his sight in one eye!Mussolini was angry for his subor-dinate had just told him the story ofhis abduction incarceration. This iswhat we now know: Nebbia wastaking a promenade in the cool ofthe evening from away from thearmy’s lines when he came across awoman being attacked by twomen. He immediately went to herassistance abandoning his cheroot!The rape was however a cowardlytrap and the gallant general wasattacked by other men as he wadedinto the ‘assailants’. Clubbed downfrom behind he was bound andgagged and carried off to the cavesin which the worst and horrific partof this tale lies.
Nebbia was tied up and kept at the
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rear of the cave. Fed infrequently andgiven no exercise his mind remainedalert and he tried to escape numeroustimes. On the first attempt he over-powered two sleeping guards and es-caped at night. Following the stars hemade his way towards Tekel and safe-ty. However he became lame and wassurrounded at dawn by camel ridingkidnappers who beat him and re-turned him to captivity. He then triedto engage his captors in conversationto convince them to let him go butthey gagged him when they realisedhis plan. Other victims of these banditscame and went - some freed after thepayment of ransoms, others after hav-ing been murdered.
Brigadier Nebbia had almost given uphope on the day of his release. Hehad made his peace with God and theworld when dawn’s pink fingersstroked the horizon and a small sec-tion of the Italian army attacked withelan and released him. In the one sid-ed ‘battle’ all but one of the kidnap-pers were killed in a hail of bullets orin hand-to-hand combat where themartial skills of the Italian troops, aswell as their numbers carried the day,or in this case the morning!
Nebbia’s previous wounds had fes-tered having not been treated and hewas given immediate first aid. Onlybarely conscious of his surroundingshe still saluted General Mussolini andinsisted in reviewing and thankingthose who rescued him whilst beingcarried by two sergeants. With tears ofgratitude in his eyes he thanked themall!
On return to Tekel the column parad-ed through the town to the joy of thelocals who cheered them, ululated andspat at the captive kidnapper!
NEW ORLEANS
• Governors John S. Harrisand Sam Houston, along with JudahP. Benjamin, three prominent mem-bers of the government of the Confed-
Empire of OsterreichJuly 1852
An Open Letter to The Nations andTrading Companies of the World
Your Eminences
To further restrict the insidious slave trade, from nextmonth the Imperial Austrian Navy will be conducting aBlockade of what remains of New Orleans� port. Allships approaching this known slaving port will be brieflystopped and examined. Ships engaged in slaving, thetransporting war material such as armaments will be es-corted to Kingston for adjudication by a British judgeand there face the risk of confiscation. Ships interferingwith the Blockade or the actions of our Navy may bemilitarily engaged � and have now been warned.
This also applies to ships approaching the slaving statesof Alabama and Georgia.
At any time, President Jefferson Davis can choose toend the hostilities by going to London and there sign-ing the 1850 Treaty to Stem Slave Trafficking on theHigh Seas, a copy of which has been kindly published byAgema Publications and is available on their forum.
We Remain,
Franz JosefEmperor of Osterreich
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erate States of Amerika South, have endorsed afinancial treatise of unknown origin that arguesthe transatlantic slave trade has long been an un-profitable venture. The following is an excerpt thathas been circulated en masse throughout worldwide postal services:
“[T]the crueltiesof the Britannicslave trade, withits unprecedent-ed waste of lifethrough diseaseand mistreat-ment, and theexpenditures ontransportation,provisions,forced training ofthis Trans-Atlan-tic Labour Force as well as countless other tertiaryexpenses could be ignored at the ‘profit’ of everysingle living soul that arrived to fill the vacuumthat plantation estates represented.”
“…Returning to our modern circumstances, wecan no longer rely on the primitive economics ofthe British experience, and must calculate profitby comparing revenue over expense. Simply put,every dollar we put into a Trans-Atlantic LabourInvestment must translate into, at the very least, adollar and a penny. A simple calculation showsthat this is not the case….”
• Events of more immediate importanceto the good people of New Orleans were unfold-ing to challenge them... At dawn on what wasweather-wise a calm morning, that of the 4th ofJuly, steaming from the east came Admiral HerrWilhelm von Tegetthoff’s Austrian naval squad-ron. The element of surprise was made completeby the bright morning sun blinding the eyes ofany would-be observer. Tegetthof led from thebridge of the ironclad Kaiser Max. Also to handwere four lineships, three cruisers, and three gun-boats. It may of be casual interest to our readersto learn that aboard one of the lineships,Schwarzenberg, several gentlemen are presentlyguests of Osterreich, including no less a personthan the Hiran noble king Sultan Muhammed ofMogadishu. That aside, dear reader, let us seewhat happened next...
The guns of the squadron were employed againstan Amerika South merchant ship Hunley whichhad the disadvantage of having been in port atthis time. The range was brought right down be-fore the guns could be brought to bear, the for-tress of New Orleans making this something of a
necessity in order to get agood shot at the targetvessel via the harbourentrance. Hunley wasdestroyed by the sheervolume of roundshotaimed at her. This leftTegetthoff’s gunboatsfree to try something dif-ferent. While a landingparty from the gunboatKerka was lowered usingthe ship’s boat, the othertwo gunboats gave cover-
ing fire.
Realising a landing of sorts was in the offing, Brig-adier Orry Main prepared the troopers of the Re-connaissance Regiment for a charge down thestreets to the quay should it become necessary.The quay itself held up remarkably well under theincoming barrage, and when the landing partycame ashore it was certainly inconvenienced bythe approach of the American cavalry and forcedto withdraw without accomplishing its mission.
NIPPON
• The Global Naval Squadron has depart-ed from Nipponese waters, and is understood tobe heading westward.
HAFIR
• Experimental cotton growing has beendeemed a success in Hafir province, following onfrom which local farmers are being encouraged togrow cotton themselves alongside their normalcrops.
MEKNES
• Sultan Moulay has expressed his deepfrustration that his French friends have still nothanded over any telegraph lines or railways.“Never mind,” he said while smiling wryly, “I shallhave them anyway - all of them are now herebynationalised.”
The Imperial Austrian Navy advances on the Amerikan coast
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In a catastrophic breakdown of trust he hasended both his client and ally status in rela-tion to Franconia! This perhaps became inevi-table once the great sultan learnt from hismessengers that the French have not evenbuilt any of the telegraph lines or railwayspromised in his lands yet, except for somepoles put up in El Oued, a place where hehas no warriors and the French military areknown to be based in some numbers (despitethis fact, local Muurish clerks have still auda-ciously taken over ownership of these tele-graph poles).
In a case of mistaken identity a large consign-ment of German Braatwurst sausages wasseized by an angry mob in Meknes villageoutside the fortress. These were thrown ontoa fire hastily constructed from some distraughtMuurish women’s furniture taken from nearbyhouses.
This also caused some more suspicions to beraised. As the sausages were inadvertentlycooked, a certain enticing smell wafted upfrom the flames. The smell drove the villagersto distraction, and it is now being said thatthese ‘French’ sausages are made from pork,and as everyone knows the Muurs’ own reli-gion does not allow them to eat any part of apig. Clearly a dark nefarious Franconian plotis being uncovered by the brave Muurish menof Meknes!
Such is the hostility to the French that it is justas well that the silver-tongued Aristide Ribot isunder the Sultan’s protection behind the wallsof the fortress here!
Aristide Ribot seemed oblivious to all this,even responding to the Sultan’s remarks as ifthey were meant as pure wit. Rather than be-ing offended or put out, Aristide presidedover a lavish ceremony to present the firstMuur telegraph lines, newly-completed in ElOued, to his host, the munificent Sultan Mou-lay. The Moroccans were bemused by this,but pleased at least to see that the Frenchwere complicit in the seizing of these. TheSultan, pleased by what he saw as an imme-diate diplomatic victory, announced that hewas once more an ally of Franconia!
The display included extravagant pyrotech-nics, which when they went up into the nightsky made those outside convinced for a mo-ment that a coup attempt was underway,and fine Franconian wines, selected – notwithout difficulty – by Ribot’s own sommeli-er to accompany the peculiar and distinctiveMuur cuisine.
Detecting some residuum of incomprehen-sion amongst elements of the Muur court asto the precise function and purpose of a tele-graph, Ribot ingeniously arranged a localdemonstration in the Palace of Meknes, en-listing the aid of Mme FifaBelle and her ev-er-obliging troupe of jeunes filles.
Oh how Aristide then found how serious hishosts were being, or rather the Moors out-side the walls of the palace! It transpired thatthe delightful ladies had all be taken hostageby some of the enraged Moors while enroute for the palace. What terrible tormentsthey are now undergoing at the hands ofcruel captors we shudder to think, and leaveto your dark imagination!
Their absence rather ruined part of his in-tended demonstration worked. But, on see-ing the Sultan’s expression as the topic ofconversation revolved around the lack oftelegraph lines and railways in his lands, Ri-bot could hardly contain himself. “Ohplease!” he cried, “You are surely not goingto suggest that it represents nothing morethan a thin attempt to gloss the fact thatFranconia is only presenting one telegraphline! More will follow, road and rail too, withthe utmost urgency; even now our Chief En-gineer is en route, and will begin construc-tion of telegraph lines in Karakoun nextmonth. Oh come on! Sultan, do try some ofthis Pol Roger, it’s rather good.”
The Sultan, again sensing a major diplomat-ic victory with the French bending to hisevery whim, grandly restored his client statuswith regard to the Emperor of France uponhearing this!
PALMA
• The poet and Palmese patriotGabriel de la Concepcion Valdes has been
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taken ill; reputedly covered in sores he has be-come bed ridden.
Alas during this his time of trial rumours are flit-ting about Palma regarding the murder of Rever-end Clay. Some gossipers are claiming Gabriel dela Concepcion Valdes is a well known pervert insome circles and is known to squander publicfunds on French prostitutes of both sexes. Fur-thermore it was Clay’s honourable refusal to dressup in French knickers that caused Valdes to mur-der him, they declare!
This has left some to wonder what of all this isreally true? Is the famous poet really ill, or is hejust using this as an excuse to keep out of thepublic gaze until this horror story dies down?
Balthazar Valenti has by way of contrast deignedto appear in public, naturally dressed rather flam-boyantly as is his want, and he has vehementlydenied any involvement in the death of ReverendClay or even having knowledge that he was in thesame province as himself, let alone the same inn.He is hotly demanding that Valdes admit the truthof his involvement or risk burning in hell!
GUJRAN
• The Sultan of Gujran, Rafiq Singh haslearnt that his allies the Honourable East IndiaCompany have begun the construction of bothrailways and telegraph lines across his principality.
ROME
• Count Frederico Corlioni, who runs thehead office of the International Trade Companyin Rome, has directed that the ITC break its reli-ance on Italia and Franconia and begin influenc-ing trade across the globe: Indeed it is to becometruly ‘International’! Having stated this he alsoindicated that the ITC should not ‘throw the babyout with the bath-water’ and needed to maintaintrade with these two nations. To this end the ITCis gifting to Italia a world class Opera House butintends to begin moving agents away from Italianlands; “a process that we think will take twelvemonths to allow us to complete current activitiesand contracts!”
It is unclear whether this means the ITC intends tooperate from another country in the future ratherthan continuing to be based in Rome and payingits corporation tax to the Italian government.
PARIS
• Speaking in Paris the businessman InigoBanks has stated that due to Osterreich’s declara-tion of war on the CSA and the disruption anduncertainties this has caused to world tradeAustria’s European trade is losing business and itsprofits are dwindling.
SIRAN
• The Madagascan province of Siran hascome under the rule of the Kingdom of Sima.Queen Ranavalona of Siran was distraught whenshe heard of this, protesting that she had come tothe Siamese camp to discuss peace, not surren-der! Nevertheless Governor Chana Ratchmon, thenew civil authority figure, as well as GeneralKrung informed Her Majesty that she can remainthe leader of her tribe so long as she submits fullyto being governed by Sima.
THE CAPE
• With the exception of the port of Cape-town, JEB Stuart’s FCCA has secured militarycontrol of the Cape province, although the Britan-nica administrators are still going about their busi-ness undisturbed in their civil capacity. That atleast was the situation for a few days, untilStuart’s troops sent the clerks packing into Cape-town. By doing so they secured an end of Britishrule of the province, although the CSA does notitself rule here - rather there is no civil administra-tion now operating (except for, of course, at Ca-petown)!
At Capetown Sir Thomas Carville is believed tohave become rather upset over this deliberate actto end law and order. Viscount Torrington’s col-umn was ordered to go in ‘and sort the blighter’sout!’
General Torrington’s troops made contact withStuart’s Confederates as the latter approached acrossing over the Orange River in column ofmarch. The Americans halted, and wheeled topresent a battle line with a battalion of foot in thecentre beside a battery of guns and with a cavalrysquadron to either flank. Some baggage was heldin the rear.
The British were already waiting with them on thesouth side of the river, deployed on a rise withtwo battalions of the Gordon Highlanders. Someway off on the Highlander’s right flank were un-
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To celebrate the opening of der Danuturm, Osterreich invited European and foreign society to join in aMonth of Waltzes, held in the four Exhibition Halls of Der Donauturm. Under the musical direction of Jo-hann Strauss II, it was be a celebration of Austrian music, the most beautiful in the world. Herr Strauss spe-cially created an acclaimed new waltz to celebrate the mighty “blauen Donau” or blue Danube.
limbered the guns of A Section, 1st Royal, Royal Artillery, also on the rise which runs along the southbank. The British artillerymen opened proceedings by engaging the Confederate guns, who returnedfire smartly in a counter-battery duel.
Torrington addressed the Highlanders, “There they are lads. They have chosen to make war againstus because they believe us to be weak. They believe you to be weak. Once you are swept aside theyintend to take this colony from us and not to stop there. It shall not happen gentlemen. We shall notlay aside our arms for this force of slave mongers and the like. Let’s see to it that they get a warmwelcome ready for them and see to it that our guests see the inside of a prison. FIX BAYONETS! Letthem see your cold steel gentlemen, let them see it!”
The drum and fife section struck up ‘Rule Britannia’ and when the song reached the portion where itstates that, ‘Britons never will be slaves,’ the men sang along as they prepared for the enemy to comeinto range. However, while the counter-battery action continued, the Americans have declined toattack...
ISFAHAN
• René Tirard quite forgot himself in his delight at procuring the province of Khorrom for LaBelle Franconia and was in the middle of quite a complex celebratory gavotte [‘a French dance in
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