A pattern of violent of coercive behaviors perpetrated by a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered person using force and intimidated to exert control over his/her partner's thoughts, beliefs, or conduct.

Below are the number of instances of GLBT domestic violence reported to the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs in 2006 and 2007.

2006: 3,534 2007: 3,319

*The NCAVP does not have member agencies in all 50 states. These numbers are only a small indication of a national problem.*

Physical Sexual Emotional/Verbal/Psychological Social Isolation Financial Medical/HIV Related Abuse Heterosexism Transphobia Internalized Homophobia

Physical abuse is any attempt by your partner to exert control or power over you.

Have you ever been… Punched? Slapped? Kicked? Shoved? Stalked?

Prevented from leaving your home? Denied your basic needs (food, shelter, sleep)?

Then you have been physically abused.

Sexual abuse occurs when your consent is neither asked or required by your partner.

Forms of sexual abuse include…

Withholding sex Refusing to use protection

Forcing sex with others Sexual performance criticized

Withholding affection

Have you ever been…

humiliated, criticized? threatened to be “outed”

attacked with racial or ethnic slurs?

Then you have been abused emotionally, verbally, and psychologically

Social isolation occurs when the abuser seeks to keep his/her partner away from others that may influence the partner to leave.

Effects of social isolation can lead to…

Ruined friendships/relationships with family Threats of being “outed” Denied access to GLBT community resources Restraints placed on your work schedule

Abusers seek to keep his/her partner financially dependent to ensure the power balance is never equal.

Abuser seeks all control over finances Threats of “outing” to employer

Required to give paycheck to abuser Required to stay home and not work or

go to school

Has your partner ever…

Threatened to reveal your HIV status? Forced unsafe sex? Refused to spend money on your medical

expenses? Told you that you deserve to die or don’t

deserve to be loved?

Then you have been medically abused

The belief that heterosexual or opposite sex relationships are the norm and are superior

Your partner may…

Limit your access to GLBT resources Threaten to “out” you to family/friends, etc. Threaten to have you deported (non-

documented residents) Using heterosexual roles to normalize abuse Shame you for same-sex desires

To exploit a partner’s internalized homophobia or transphobia to exert control:

Your partner may… Use Anti-GLBT remarks Deny that there is a real power differential in

order to portray ideal relationship Exploit your low-self esteem related to sexual

orientation Demand that your physical and behavioral

changes appear “straight” Threaten to “out” your gender identity

You are not alone. There are thousands of people per year that deal with domestic violence in both heterosexual and GLBT relationships.

Search the resources available in your area for additional support. Individual and group therapy are also great sources for support.

Your Life Is Unfinished.