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G G B B E E W W E E E E K K 2 2

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Unit 02 Prerequisite for Global Business English 2-1. How to Write Business Correspondence 2-1. Elements of Style

(i) Stages of Effective Business Writing To produce good writing, you have to make the information fit the document and style that best communicates to readers. Technical and business writing consists of special documents such as memos, reports, manuals, and instructions. It usually requires several stages of text development:

Brainstorm what the communication must include. Cluster your ideas into topics. Outline your topics, including subtopics. Write a rough draft. Revise by editing your work. Proofread carefully. Produce the final draft.

(ii) Reader Sensitivity Be positive: Being reader-friendly means treating readers well. You can do this by putting readers in a positive spotlight as much as possible. Minimize use of negative language, especially toward your readers. Use positive language instead. Emphasize what readers can do instead of what they cannot do: Instead of writing: “You are not eligible for the discount,” Write: “Members are eligible for this discount. To become a member, please complete and submit this form.” State facts instead of assigning blame:

Understanding the types of Global Business and how to write Business Correspondence is a prerequisite for mastering Global Business English.

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Instead of writing, “You did not include a check in your recent mortgage payment mailing,” Write: “We did not find a check in your recent mortgage payment mailing.” Avoid leading with negative information: Instead of writing: “Your insurance is being cancelled effective January 31.” Write: “Our company policy enables customers to qualify for automobile insurance as long as they have a safe driving record. Customers who have been cited at fault in two or more accidents or who have received two or more speeding violations within a six-month period are immediately placed on probationary status. Any additional accidents or speeding citations within the following six months will result in the cancellation of that customer’s automobile insurance.” Be polite: Politeness means being courteous, civil, considerate, and respectful to the reader. Politeness is achieved by using proper language when addressing the reader. The appropriateness of the language used is really a factor of the relationship that exists between writer and reader. If the writer and reader do not have a personal relationship, then, in most situations, courtesy titles are used, such as Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Dr. These titles should be used if the communication is external--the writer is communicating with someone outside his/her organization. If the writer and reader are part of the same company or organization, then polite language depends upon their respective positions in the hierarchy. Superiors can more easily address subordinates on a first-name basis, ignoring courtesy titles. Subordinates should have a personal relationship with superiors before addressing them without using courtesy titles. Be fair: Successful companies are aware of the diversity of the world marketplace and the importance of being inclusive of groups that comprise their customers. From a purely capitalistic perspective, avoiding all types of discrimination in company language makes good business sense because it appeals to as many customers as possible. Therefore, it is good practice to avoid making assumptions about gender-specific social roles, to include information about race and age only when it is relevant to the purpose of the message, and to avoid stereotyping people with disabilities and diseases.

2-2. Guide to Document Revision

According to Mary E. Guffey, author of Business Communication: Process and Product, 2003, the revision process includes:

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Revising to improve the content and sentence structure; Proofreading to correct grammar, spelling, punctuation, format, and mechanics; and Evaluating to analyze whether the message achieves its purpose.

(i) Effective Communication Criteria - 7C’s

Clarity: Apply the KISS formula—“Keep it Short and Simple.” Choose short, familiar, conversational words. Construct effective sentences and paragraphs. Achieve appropriate readability--and listenability. Avoid unfamiliar words, abbreviations, slang or jargon. Completeness: Answer all questions asked. Give something extra, when desirable. Check for the five Ws and any other essentials. Conciseness: Shorten or omit wordy expressions. Include only relevant statements. Avoid unnecessary repetition, long sentences, relative pronouns, expletives, abstract subjects, and passive verbs. Correctness: Use the right level of language. Include only accurate facts, words, and figures. Maintain acceptable writing mechanics. Choose nondiscriminatory expressions. Apply all other pertinent C qualities. Concreteness: Use specific facts and figures. Put action in your verbs. Choose vivid, image-building words. Avoid relative words, indefinite phrases, and abstract words. Consideration: Focus on "you" instead of "I" and "we." Take an interest in the reader, show how the reader will benefit. Emphasize positive, pleasant facts. Apply integrity and ethics. Avoid negative words. Courtesy: Be sincerely tactful, thoughtful, and appreciative. Omit expressions that irritate, hurt, or belittle. Apologize good-naturedly. Use words and phrases that set a positive tone.

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Make the reply easy. (ii) Sentences and Lines per Paragraph A paragraph is a set of related sentences, indicated by indenting the first sentence or by leaving a blank line between paragraphs. In professional writing--where time is money--writing needs to be as simple and straightforward as possible. Therefore, keep sentences short, and use the active voice. Paragraphs are most effective when they are crisp, clean, short, and to the point. Most importantly, good business paragraphs develop one idea at a time. In business letters and memos, one-sentence paragraphs are not uncommon, especially in the first and last paragraphs. In reports, one- and two-sentence paragraphs make the report seem too choppy. The number of lines in a paragraph can be used to judge proper length. Paragraphs in letters and memos are easiest to read if they do not exceed 4-5 printed lines. In reports, paragraphs of 7-9 lines are acceptable. Longer paragraphs always appear difficult and uninviting to read. Check the words per sentence in your document for conciseness. If your average sentence is too lengthy, try these techniques to reduce the length: (1) Check for wordiness--eliminate all unnecessary words. (2) Change passive sentences to active sentences. (3) Break long sentences into two or more sentences. (4) Use a vertical list for a series of items. Items 3 and 4 are especially useful if you have any sentences over 40 words. If your average sentence length is short, your writing may be choppy. Check to see how many sentences have fewer than 10 words and combine some of your short sentences into complex or compound sentences, as shown below.

The company usually does not give semi-annual raises. However, all employees will receive a raise in June.

Revision: Although the company usually does not give semi-annual raises, all employees will receive a raise in June. (complex sentence with a dependent clause)

Revision: The company usually does not give semi-annual raises, but all employees will receive a raise this June. (compound sentence with two independent clauses joined by a conjunction) (iii) Readability

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Too many passive sentences should be avoided in business writing. An analysis of well-written business letters and memos reveals that about 80 percent of the verbs are active. In other words, only one out of five sentences should be passive. If your work contains more than 20 percent of passive sentences, please revise the sentences using active verbs. In general, the active voice is more effective in business communications than the passive voice for two reasons: (1) The sentences are usually more concise. (2) The writing is more interesting because the subject of the sentence is taking the action implied in the verb.

Passive: The decision was made by the manager at the last moment. Active: The manager decided at the last moment.

Note how using the active voice makes the sentence shorter and how the subject (the manager) is doing the action (decided). With the passive voice, the sentence is longer and the subject (decision) is not doing the action (made). To make passive verbs active, ask yourself who or what did the action. Move that person or thing to the beginning of the sentence as the subject and change the verb as necessary. Also, if the subject of a passive sentence is a nominalisation (sometimes called a camouflaged verb), consider using the verb form of the nominalization for the verb of your sentence. For example, in the passive sentence example, decision is a nominalization and is the subject of the sentence. In the active sentence, decided is the verb. Nominalisations are created from verbs by the following word endings: -ion, -ment, -ance, and -ence. Obviously, many business words are nominalizations, such as information, depreciation, amortization, assistance, insurance, discussion, application, and liquidation. In many instances you will need to use these words; but, when you can use their verb form, do so. Even when a nominalisation is not the subject of a sentence, try to revise using the verb, as shown in this example.

Please let us know when we can be of assistance to you. Revision: Please let us know when we can assist you.

Replacing assistance with assist makes the sentence shorter and more action-oriented. A working knowledge of passive voice is necessary when considering the tone of your message. Unless you need to use the passive, avoid it whenever you can. However, the passive is often used to improve the tone of a communication and to de-emphasize

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who took the action if that is not important.

Poor: You did not complete all the items on the form. Better: All the items on the form were not completed. (Better tone) Poor: The construction company finished the building on Wednesday. Better: The building was finished on Wednesday. (This example is better, assuming that it is not important or it is implied who finished the work.)

(iv) Concise Verbs vs. Nominalised Verbs

Use Concise Words Avoid Nominalised Verbs analyse make an analysis of act take an action assume make assumptions about assist give assistance to apply make an application appear make an appearance approve give approval to announce make an announcement believe hold the belief that can be in a position to conclude reach a conclusion about consider give consideration to correct is corrective of depends is dependent on discuss have a discussion of desire have a desire for decide make a decision to end bring to an end examine make an examination of emphasize give emphasis to estimate make an estimation of infer draw an inference that imply make the implication that investigate make an investigation of know make cognizant of rely have reliance on realize make a realization that refer make reference to repay make repayment for

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recommend make a recommendation that request make a request represents is representative of react have a reaction to suggest make the suggestion that

(v) Wordy Phrases Use single-word substitutes instead of phrases whenever possible without changing meanings.

Wordy Concise along the line of (salary) about (salary) at this time now consensus of opinion consensus date of the policy policy date due to the fact that because during the year of during few and far between seldom, scarce for a price of for for the purpose of for; to for the reason that since; because from the point of view of as have need for need in accordance with your request as you requested in due course soon in many cases often; frequently in most cases usually in order to to in some cases sometimes in spite of the fact that although in (for) the amount of for in the city of in in the event that if in the neighbourhood of $60 about $60 in view of the fact that because please don't hesitate to write please write under date of dated under the circumstances because

(vi) Transition Words

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And Consequently Therefore Also For this reason After On the other hand First, second, third As Or Likewise Before But Similarly In the future However Finally Next In contrast Furthermore Then Nevertheless Moreover Until On the contrary For example When As a result For instance While Because Indeed In conclusion (vii) Parallelism Parallel structure applies to words joined by a conjunction, joined by a conjunctive pair, appearing in a series, and appearing in a listing. Examples: The whole day was spent returning phone calls, reading the mail, and dictating correspondence.

When reading this report, you will:

Learn the costs involved in old inventories. Appreciate the new computerized accounting system. Understand the new elements in the zero-based approach.

(viii) Titles and Numbers Names of books, magazines and newspapers should be underlined or put in italics.

"Fortune and Business Week are important information sources." "The Wall Street Journal had an article on that topic recently."

Numbers included in text vary according to their value and location.

Numbers opening a paragraph or at the beginning of a sentence are written as words.

"Three hundred bankers rushed Wall Street today."

Numbers one to ten (1 to 10) are entered in text as WORDS. "I have three job offers in New York."

Numbers above ten are placed in text as digits except when they open a

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paragraph. "She left her son $4 million in cash and securities."

(ix) Regional Usage/Slang Regionalisms should be avoided in formal writing. For example, in this part of the country it seems to be common practice to omit "to be," as in, "The job needs done." Since there is no verb in that phrase, it is not a complete sentence. In business writing, including assignments for this class, use "The job needs to be done." (x) Proofreading Guidelines

Proofread everything, including titles, subtitles, words, punctuation, capitalization, indented items, and numbers.

Concentrate on each word. If necessary, read your document backwards to check

spelling. Then read sentences and paragraphs out of order. This helps you read what you actually have typed instead of what you believe you have typed.

Cover the document with a piece of paper so you can read only one line at a

time. This will help you overcome your eyes' tendency to move on too quickly.

Read aloud to someone who will follow along on another copy of the document.

Examine all numbers and totals. Recheck all calculations and look for misplaced commas and decimal points.

Make sure all quotation marks, brackets, dashes, and parentheses come in pairs.

Double check all highlighted material.

Keep a list of all repeated errors. See if you find a pattern that will help you

proofread future documents more effectively.

Ask co-workers to proofread your document and to initial it when they are confident they have uncovered all mistakes.

(xi) Product Evaluation

Ask yourself, “Does this communication achieve its purpose?”

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Obtain feedback from others about the quality of the communication.

Encourage feedback from the receiver about the quality of your communication.

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2-3. The Essential Parts of a Business Letter A typical business letter consists of seven parts: the letterhead, the date line, the inside address, the salutation, the body of letter, the complimentary close, and the signature.

(i) The Letterhead The letterhead is the heading at the top of a letter. It usually consists of the name, address, telephone number and fax number of a company. The letterhead can be typed out but is usually printed on the company's stationery (such stationery is also called letterhead). In addition, the printed letterhead may also include other items such as the company logo, web site, e-mail address, etc. The following is a sample letter (block form) containing all the essential parts. (ii) The Date Line The format of the date line differs from country to country. The common ones are M/D/Y (typical American), D/M/Y(typical British). While we Korean prefer Y/M/D format, it is better to use M/D/Y or D/M/Y format in English letters. The month written in letters is preferred because figures may create confusion.

American Style: March 7, 2009. British Style: 7th March, 2009.

(iii) The Inside Address The inside address is the recipient's address, identical to the delivery address on the envelope. In Korean letters, there is no inside address except where a windowed envelop is used. In this case, the inside address serves as the delivery address.

Mr. John F Dolan, President America International Co., Inc. 350 Fifth Avenue, West New York, NY 10018, U.S.A.

(iv) The Salutation The salutation is the greeting to your recipient. It usually includes a personal or professional title and the name of the recipient. The salutation varies according to the writer-recipient relations and the formality level of the letter. The following table shows some common salutations:

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Salutation People to Address Dear Mr. XXX men Dear Mrs. XXX married women Dear Miss XXX unmarried women and girls Dear Ms. XXX women, marital status unknown Dear Dr. XXX physicians, Ph.D. holders

Dear Prof. XXX professors and any holder of a professorial rank

Dear Sir(s) no specific reference, formal Gentlemen no specific reference, formal Ladies and Gentlemen no specific reference, formal To Whom It May Concern You don't know yet who is the recipient (Dear) First name only close friend, informal

(v) The Complimentary Close This part is like bidding farewell to someone with a handshake, a pat on the shoulder, a wave of hand, or a kiss. Like the salutation, the complimentary close has some variations in style: formal, semiformal and informal. And this style shall match that of the salutation. Below are some samples of the complimentary close:

American Style British Style

Yours truly Yours faithfully Yours very truly Yours very faithfully Truly yours Faithfully yours Very truly yours Very faithfully yours

(vi) The Signature The signature (sometimes called the signature block) consists of a symbol (handwritten or chopped, usually illegible), the typed-out name (so that you know who signs it), and a title.

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2-4. The Optional Parts of a Business Letter For one reason or another, you may need more parts to be included in a business letter, say to direct the letter to a specific person without your knowing the name of that person. Any one or all the parts listed in this section can be added to the letter.

(i) The Return Address In most cases, the return address is printed on the letterhead. It is necessary only when you are using a blank sheet of paper. (ii) The Attention Line If you want your letter attended by or directed to a specific person or department, add an attention line. This will speed up the sorting process within a company. The following is a sample letter (indented form) containing optional parts.

Attention: Mr. Albert Wilson Attention: Purchasing Department Attention: Mr. Albert Wilson, Purchasing Department

(iii) The Subject Line The subject line helps both the sender and the recipient identify the subject matter. Below are some samples of the subject line.

SUBJECT: EXTENSION OF L/C NO. 535 Subject: Your Order No. 15 Sub.: Hand Tools

(iv) The Typist's Initials (Identification Marks) The typist's initials are the initials of the writer and the typist. Many businesses prefer to drop the typist's initials.

dictator: Albert Wilson typist: Alice Smith AW/as(dictator, typist) AW-as(dictator, typist) AW:as(dictator, typist) AW:5(dictator, typist)

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(v) The Enclosure Notation When something else is sent together with the letter, you add the enclosure notation to inform the reader what is enclosed. For example:

Enclosure(Encl. : Enc.) : One copy of Offer Sheet Enc. (4) : Packing List Commodity Inspection Certificate Insurance Policy Sales Confirmation

(vi) Carbon Copy Notation Before invention of the photocopier, carbon paper was used to create duplicates of documents by placing it between the original document and a blank piece of paper so that an image of the original was transferred to the blank piece of paper as a document was written or typed. A notation was placed at the bottom of the original document indicating for whom a "carbon copy" was created. This notation was typed, for example, as follows:

cc: John Smith

C.C. : America International Co., Inc. Messrs. John & Co., Ltd. Copies to: America International Co., Inc. Messrs. John & Co., Ltd.

(vii) The Postscript Notation The postscript (often shortened into PS) is used to add an afterthought. In sales letters, it is used mainly as added punch.

P.S. Under separate cover we are sending you the offer sheet and samples. P.S. The enclosed postcard is for your convenience, Mail it today

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(viii) The Second Page Heading When a letter runs more than one page long, the second page heading is necessary for quick identification. Always print the subsequent page(s) on plain paper (without letterhead). The following two examples are the most common:

Ms. Helen E. Mann 2 Mar. 10, 2002

Ms. Helen E. Mann Mar. 10, 2002 Page 2

Addressing of Envelopes

① Sender: Yang-Kee Mulsan Co., Ltd., C.P.O. Box 125, 314-79, Daeyeon-dong, Nam-gu, Busan, 608-735, Korea

Stamp ② VIA AIR MAIL

④ Attn: Mr. E.C. Black

③ Recipient: Pacific Coast Railways, Inc. 2561 California Avenue Seattle, WA 96514, U.S.A.

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Layout of the Business Letter (Block Style Format)

LETTERHEAD

Date Reference Inside Address___________ _________________________ _________________________ Attention : Salutation : Subject ____________________________________________________________ ______________________________Body of the Letter____________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ Complimentary Close COMPANY'S NAME (Writer's Signature) Writer's Typed Name Title Initials Enclosures C.C P.S.

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Key Expressions & Technical Terms appropriateness 타당성/적정성

attention line 특정수신인 지정

bilateral trade 쌍무무역

business correspondence 비즈니스 서신

Carbon Copy Notation 사본 송부처/참조인

complimentary close 결구(예: Sincerely yours,)

Contract Arrangements 계약성 약정

counter trade 연계무역(대응무역)

courtesy title(s) 예우 경칭

distribution channel 유통망

document revision 서류 보정

effective 실효한/효력이 발생하는

expletives 비속어

Elements of Style 문체의 구성(요소)

Enclosure Notation 동봉물 표시

FDI (Foreign Direct Investment) 해외직접투자

intangible goods/tangible goods 무형재/유형재

intermediate trade 중계무역

invisible trade/visible trade 무형무역/유형무역

letterhead 서신용지 상단의 회사정보

Licensing 라이센싱

logistics 물류

management contracts 운영계약

mortgage payment 주택담보대출(모기지) 상환

multi-national parties 다국적 당사자

nominalisation (nominalization) 명사화

non-discriminatory 비차별적

parallelism 병렬/대구법

policy date 계약효력발생일(계약해당일)

probationary status 유예적 기간(신분)

product evaluation 제품평가/산출평가

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punctuation 문장부호 표기법

salutation 인사말(예: Dear Sir,)

Switch trade 스위치무역

trade barrier(s) 무역장벽

trademark(s) (등록)상표

transit trade (passing trade) 통과무역

Turn-Key Operation 턴키 운영(절차)

wordiness 장황함

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Check-up Questions 02

Q1. Translate the sentence below into Korean.

Understanding the types of global business and how to write effective business correspondence is a prerequisite for mastering Global Business English.

Q2. Write down the seven different types of global business or international trade in both English and Korean.

Q3. What is NOT included in the 7C’s for effective communication criteria?

① Clarity ② Conciseness ③ Correctness ④ Creativeness

Q4. Which one is NOT the essential part of a Business Letter?

① Letterhead ② Inside Address ③ Body of Letter ④ Postscript

Q5. What is the optional part of a Business Letter?

① Salutation ② Complimentary Close ③ Enclosure Notation ④ Signature