Getting Started: 7 Steps to a Military Care Ministry

Read before starting. Many different roads lead to the same destination: a sustainable effort offering honor, service and support to our veterans, troops and military families. You face three challenges in this ministry. First—identifying the veterans, troops and military families. We have found they are less open to identify themselves as the war on terror continues. As one Army Major shared: you need to overcome two obstacles—time and trust. The families left behind are extremely busy and skeptical of strangers. Plus, they are often proud and self-sufficient. Second—finding people with the passion and time to serve our military families. Many have the passion, but less have the time. Third—connecting the volunteers (producers) to the military families (consumers). This document is intended to provide a roadmap to those who want to serve and support our troops and their families. The seven steps are:

Step 1 Start Small Step 2 Your ministry will evolve Step 3 Gain support of your church leadership Step 4 Recruit your team Step 5 Connect with military families Step 6 First steps Step 7 Grow your ministry

Below are our lessons learned after being in this ministry for some time.  What doesn’t work! Connecting with military families

• Passive publicity—announcing “help is available, just call this number”. • Massive email publicity campaigns—sending publicity to thousands of military families. • Educational workshops for military families.

Finding resources to meet the needs of military families • Many people may have the “passion”, few have the time. Recruit far more than you need. • Beware of over-promising and under-delivering.

What does work! Connecting with military families

• One-on-one relationships: listening and respecting • Word-of-mouth connections • Proactively seek out • Consistency

Finding resources to meet the needs of military families • Clearly state commitment level/expectations to potential support people • When you find people with passion and time, let them run with it • Manage expectations and be realistic regarding projects • Align people with their talents, giftings and passions to their role • Praise often

Let’s get started!

Step 1 Start small. You need to recruit others with the same interest/passion as you have for military families. Our typical profile has been veterans, parents of troops, or some other connection with the military. Most work, but some are retired. Form a steering committee to help you organize your ministry.

Step 2 Define your mission statement. This will be key as you will encounter more ideas than you can possibly accomplish. One suggested mission statement is: The mission of the ____________ Military Care Ministry is to HONOR, SERVE & SUPPORT veterans and military families. Below is the suggested framework for a military care ministry. It is an “action plan” to become recognized by the Minnesota National Guard as a Yellow Ribbon Church. For churches in Minnesota to be recognized by the National Guard as a Yellow Ribbon Church means the church has in place a sustainable ministry for veterans and military families. The church will be listed on the Beyond The Yellow Ribbon (www.btyr.org) website as a military friendly church and signage provided to the church. Some churches see their military family ministry as part of their community care, social justice, and/or outreach ministries. Churches seeking the Yellow Ribbon Church recognition by the Minnesota National Guard need to submit a plan to the Commanding Officer of the Deployment Cycle Services, Lt.Col. Barbara O’ Reilly at barbara.oreilly@us.army.mil . The plan needs to consist of:

• Church/Faith Community Name and Location • Church/Faith Community Leader and Contact information • Ministry Leader name and contact information • Ministry Team members names • Ministry Mission/Purpose Statement

Three areas of focus (honor, service, and support) need to described.

HONOR (what activities/events will you do?)

Examples of Activities/events: (subject to approval by the military families) 1. Have public recognition and prayer for deployed and returning soldiers in their church

services. 2. Offer special service(s)/event(s) honoring our servicemen, veterans, emergency service

members and our nation. 3. Create a “Wall of Heroes” photo board of soldiers for display in church

 SERVICE (what activities/events will you do?)

Examples of Activities/events: 4. Establish a Military Family Support Group for encouragement and fellowship. 5. Offer resources to assist families of deployed soldiers with home maintenance issues. 6. Send Care Packages/Letters to deployed soldiers. 7. “Adopting” families of deployed soldiers, ensuring their needs are met. 8. “Adopting” military unit(s) 9. Offer educational opportunities for military families

SUPPORT (what activities/events will you do?)

Examples of Activities/events: 10. Updated prayer list of all soldiers in weekly/monthly church news publications.

11. Offer appropriate counseling/referrals 12. Become knowledgeable of the available resources to military families 13. Establish one-on-one relationships with military families (BeFrienders, Stephen

Ministers, etc.)

Ministry Organization/Sustainability Describe your ministry’s organization from recruiting members, awareness training, team communication, activity/event selection and planning, publicity, decision making, to succession planning.

Mentor another church Mentor/assist another church in starting and/or growing their military ministry.

Step 3 Gain the support of your church leadership. This is crucial because you will need to use their resources, such as space (rooms to meet in, events, etc.), publicity (Sunday bulletins, church newsletters, announcements, printed material/websites, etc.), possible funding or fundraising (food service at events, publicity material, crisis fund for military families, etc.) and staff time (publicity development, administration, coordination). There may be possible resistance to this ministry in your church body as some may think it supports war, killing, etc. We claim it is not a political issue, but a command to help our neighbor. Military families sacrifice much with multiple deployments and need the support and understanding in our faith communities. If you do not gain leadership support, be open to partnering with another church. Many churches are small, and it works for them to partner with other churches to minister to military families in their communities. Your leadership may ask you what this ministry would look like. Having a mission statement and vision will help with this request. Remember, start small and grow it.

Step 4 Recruit your team. Over recruit, as people are generally busy. We have found having a list of ten means two to three are available to serve. Our recruiting has been at events and by word-of-mouth. Giving your volunteers choices as to how and when they will serve helps manage expectations. Our sign up card gives the volunteers a range of choices from heavy involvement to occasional service. See sign up card below. Once you recruit them, keeping them engaged is critical. We provide all volunteers with our leadership meeting summaries, opportunities/appeals for help and other news worthy communications.

Step 5 Connect with military families. As mentioned before, this is more challenging now. We have chosen a path in developing a trustful relationship through honoring, serving and supporting our military families. One unspoken fear many military families have is being proselytized. Our approach is that if asked, we will share our faith, otherwise we demonstrate our faith through our actions. Another fear families face is the unwanted criticism from those who oppose the war or military. They are proud of their service member and his or her mission. Word-of-mouth is a key way to connect and build one-on-one relationships. For over three years we held monthly family support group meetings in our home. We are trying a new one-on-one approach as described below. Understand there are different levels with which the families are comfortable—from just a name listed on a prayer list, to a photo on a display board, to sending correspondence and care packages. Always ask to what extent families are comfortable with public display and sharing of personal information regarding their service member. Obtain permission before publicizing information or photos. Guidelines for contacting and developing relationships with military families

1. Create a prayer journal in a notebook and record dates and prayer requests 2. Call your assigned family 3. Identify yourself and who you represent 4. Always ask if this is a good time to talk or is another time better 5. Tell them you understand that they have a loved one in the service or deployed 6. Always ask for permission first 7. Ask if you can pray for their loved one 8. Ask if there is anything specific to pray about 9. Pray while on the phone 10. Ask if you can periodically check in with them 11. Record in prayer journal 12. Forward to Group facilitator any unusual prayer requests which will then be forwarded to

the Ongoing Prayer Team 13. Repeat 2- 12 a couple of times 14. Ask to meet for coffee to hear more about their loved one and get a picture 15. Ask for their loved one’s address and permission to send letters/cards of encouragement

and care packages 16. Follow through by sending letters/cards of encouragement and care packages. 17. Repeat as you are led

Step 6 First steps. Again, start small. Many begin with a prayer list of deployed troops, followed by a photo display board of service members. Resist the temptation of attempting too many projects initially. Your team will have more ideas than you can handle. Planning an event like a military appreciation dinner takes more time and resources than you may think. Be patient—building capability and confidence with each effort you do. Develop your team, and review each effort for lessons learned.

Step 7 Grow your ministry. Growth begins with strong leadership. As the ministry leader you can NOT do it all. Recruit a steering committee (core) who will be leaders of teams as you grow. Growing this ministry is similar to starting a small business. It takes TIME. As the leader, you need to manage your expectations to avoid burnout and frustration. Below is an example of a position description of the ministry leader.

Military Care Core Leader Position Description Personal Spiritual Growth

Have daily time with God—devotions, quiet time, scripture reading, reflections, listening Seek God’s direction Exercise faith and obedience

Personal Growth & Well Being

Maintain a balanced life—family, friends, other interests Practice stress management—understand what can be controlled and let God deal with

the rest Use delegation—realize you can’t do it all, let others grow Understand seasons in life—be willing to lay down the ministry as God leads Continue networking with other military friendly organizations/networks

Seeking Guidance

God—ask for direction Accountability—lead by example Advisors—seek out counsel, listen, decide after hearing different perspectives Core team—ask team to seek God’s direction and listen to what they have from God

Servant Leadership/Guidance/People Developer

Seek God for ministry members Discover members’ talents, giftings, passions Seek alignment of members’ talents, giftings, passions and the ministry mission Release, develop, encourage, mentor and guide core members

Core Leader Duties

Vision—ensure everyone understands and is committed to the vision Mission—ensure everyone understands and is committed to the mission Organizing—breakdown the mission into manageable subteams with effective leaders Planning—seek other perspectives; seek consensus where appropriate Coordinating—over communicate, ensure everyone understands expectations Meeting agenda—seek input and publish prior to meetings Meeting summaries—publish meeting summaries in a timely fashion Action lists—publish and maintain action lists with regular reviews Goals—manage expectations and jointly develop goals

Annual Evaluation/Commitment

Passion/fun—assess return on investment Stress—assess stress management effectiveness, sleepless nights, etc. Feedback on leadership effectiveness—ask for feedback from Core and Advisors Results—am I making a difference in the lives of military families and military care

ministry members?