Get Offline With Online Dating - Speak To Spark Arousalspeaktosparkarousal.com/media/wolf-pack-products/plug-n-play.pdf · !2 The Plug 'N' Play Profile: Get Offline With Online Dating

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The Plug 'N' Play Profile: Get Offline With Online Dating

Contents SECTION 1: The WWW (Wide World of Women) 3 ...........................................................

CHAPTER 1: What’s The Point of Online Dating? 4 ......................................................

CHAPTER 2: Why it’s Great & Why It Sucks 6 ................................................................

CHAPTER 3: Be the Wolf among the Dogs: The Importance of Standing Out 7 ......

SECTION II: 9 .......................................................................................................................CHAPTER 4: The Plug ‘n” Play Profile: What You Say 10 ..............................................

CHAPTER 5: Me, Me, Me! (YOU): The “About Me” Section 12 ...................................

CHAPTER 6: Your Ideal Woman and You 14 .................................................................

CHAPTER 7: Check for conversation 16 ........................................................................

CHAPTER 7: The Pictures: What You SHOW 18 .............................................................

SECTION III: CONCLUSION 24 ...........................................................................................CHAPTER 8: Your Plug N Play Profile - Set It And Forget It! 25 .....................................

SECTION IV: The Online Female-Filter System 28 ............................................................CHAPTER 9: The First Message: The “Hey You…YEAH YOU!” 29 .................................

CHAPTER 10: How Women Read Their Inboxes 31 ......................................................

CHAPTER 11: How We Women Read Through First Messages 33 ...............................

SECTION V: IDEAL MESSAGES FROM MEN 40 ...................................................................CHAPTER 11: The Perfect First Message 41 ...................................................................

CHAPTER 12: The Conversation 45 ................................................................................

CHAPTER 13: Never leave the conversation (unless you’re pulling from her profile) 47 .........................................................................................................................

CHAPTER 13: OPERATION: Ask Her Out and Get OFFline NOW! 51...........................

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SECTION 1: The WWW (Wide World of Women)

SECTION I The WWW

(Wide World of Women)

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CHAPTER 1: What’s The Point of Online Dating?

Online da9ng is like being in the best bar and the worst bar at the same 9me.

Which means you have the best pick of every woman you could possibly want!

(Yes I’m trying to remain super posi9ve here)

It means you don’t HAVE to seLle for the ones given in front of you… seLle for women that you aren’t absolutely 100% crazy about cuz no one else is

around.

You really have FULL control over who you see and have THOUSANDS to choose from in regards to who YOU want and would wanna take out to

meet.

And it’s becoming an almost-‐standard thing to online date.

It’s not like back in the day where only weirdos put up personal ads to meet

people and it’s not like very recently where the only online da9ng sites that existed were STRICTLY for geXng married.

Nowadays… it’s the norm… and it also happens to be the EASIEST way to

meet and get access to women you otherwise wouldn’t just “run into” on the street.

And the sooner you get to realizing how BENEFICIAL online da9ng can be to

mee9ng women… the sooner you’ll have fun with IT and your da9ng life in general.

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The point of online da9ng is to have ACCESS to women and to also have OPTIONS.

And I’m here to make sure you find a woman worthy of taking off the

interwebs and into your life…

In ways that you don’t have to write “the perfect thing” to get women interested in you… but rather you put YOURSELF out there that gets YOUR

GIRL compelled to meet you in person.

We’re not here to make a profile designed to make women want you… but rather a profile designed to get the woman YOU want out of the woodwork and wan9ng you.

Again, it’s always gonna be about having full control and power over who you get in your life with me… and online da9ng is no different.

So let’s get you in the driver’s seat of your ONLINE da9ng life and find a woman worthy of your passenger seat via the internet.

You have access to THOUSANDS of women and now have all the op9ons

you could possibly pick from… now it’s just a maLer of REACHING the ones you WANT.

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CHAPTER 2: Why it’s Great & Why It Sucks I always say to use online da9ng as an added boost to your da9ng life…

Don’t DEPEND on it.

The more you depend on it for dates, the more overwhelming it’s gonna be.

With all those women, all those op9ons, and all those MESSAGES you have to send out… you’ll drive yourself crazy.

The thing is… BECAUSE everyone online dates now… it’s hard to make a

solid, genuine connec9on with somebody and it’s a bit more difficult to actually CONNECT with the ones you like.

While a woman wouldn’t NORMALLY flat out ignore you in public… she can

so easily do it online.

So… if you put yourself out there only to NEVER get to the women you actually want…then what’s the point?!

Well the point is to actually have access to the women who you normally wouldn’t otherwise see in public for whatever reason…

You just have to make sure you STAND OUT enough to get her interested in WANTING to meet you offline and in person.

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CHAPTER 3: Be the Wolf among the Dogs: The Importance of Standing Out

Sure, there’s THOUSANDS of women out there to choose from on the World Wide Web…

Problem is… there’s also THOUSANDS other MEN (dogs) trying to get to them.

And if you don’t stand out in the sea of THOUSANDS of other men out there… online da9ng is gonna basically become the same thing as going to a crowded nightclub wearing the same exact thing as every other guy in there and having absolutely no voice.

Granted… online you can’t actually TALK… which is why you need to stand out and IMPROVISE.

Women can go through profiles upon profiles for DAYS… in fact I aimlessly click over and over and over again if the pictures are sub-‐par and the first sentence doesn’t catch my aLen9on (which it usually never does).

The point is to REACH OUT in a way that pulls at her heartstrings… gets her

compelled to read and REACT ins9nc9vely while geXng to know you… and gives her a glimpse of what life WITH YOU will be like.

We need to PICTURE who you are in order to get a FEEL for what you’re

like…

And the more you’ll able to induce feelings in a woman as she goes through your profile… the more compelled she’ll feel to message and meet you.

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Which is why I’ve made this whole plug and play profile for you… so that it

doesn’t maLer if you’re a good writer… it doesn’t maLer if you consider yourself “interes9ng”…

It’s meant to create a “Movie Preview Clip” for any woman to think, “Ahh! I

goLa see that!” about YOU.

Because that’s essen9ally what your profile is… a preview clip to the movie of your life.

Whether it’s a roman9c comedy, ac9on flick, or drama… as long as it ENTERTAINS… we’re gonna feel inclined to go out and see you for ourselves.

So let’s get to making your movie clip.

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SECTION II:

SECTION II

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CHAPTER 4: The Plug ‘n” Play Profile: What You Say

The profile (if you don’t first message her) is gonna be her first glimpse of who you are…and if you don’t actually PUT who you are down she’s not

gonna get a feel for you…

And if she doesn’t get a FEEL for you, she’s not gonna care to get to KNOW you.

Here’s the thing… we all think you’re serial kills un9l proven otherwise… ESPECIALLY online!

So if you’re one of those guys who thinks, “Yeah I don’t wanna spend 9me wri9ng about myself that’s lame” or even “All the other guys just list adjec9ves and shit so I’ll do that too”

Then women are gonna see you like they see EVERY OTHER GUY on these sites… which is NOT SPECIAL and easy to pass on.

It’s also been shown that, the longer your profile… the more inclined people will be to view and message you.

What it does it gives them opportuni9es to think, “Oh THERE… I like THAT!” or “Ok THAT doesn’t really resonate with me but he’s into THAT so I don’t even care!”

The guy I shared the spotlight with on “Nightline” listed a shit ton of songs that were a part of EVERY SINGLE MUSICAL GENRE known to (wo)man… which provided an opportunity for EVERY woman to connect to him.

And again, this goes back to your all serial killers un9l proven guilty.

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The more of yourself you HAVE on there the more we’re able to say, “Oh SEE! He’s normal! Serial killers wouldn’t list AAALL this stuff about themselves!”

So with that said… if you’re a guy who thinks it’s a bad thing to talk about yourself… and you want her to MEET YOU IN PERSON FIRST… then get over it.

We’re here to get you a profile that cap9vates women…not one that makes her think, “Eh…I dunno… naaaaaa…”

You ready?

OK, good.

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CHAPTER 5: Me, Me, Me! (YOU): The “About Me” Section

First I wanna take the 9me to say that how you fill out the “About Me” sec9on is your CHANCE to show her who you are!

If you think it’s a waste of 9me and you “don’t have 9me” to fill it out… then you’re basically saying you think YOU’RE a waste of 9me TALKING about… and women in turn will not TAKE the 9me to get to know you.

End of story.

If you’re one of those guys who thinks, “Oh I don’t wanna talk about myself

cuz I’d rather tell her in person,” then guess what… the only women you’re gonna ever MEET in person with online da9ng will be desperate women who can’t get a date with ANYONE, online or off.

Skipping over this part because you think it’s not the place to talk about yourself is like applying for a job (somehow) and saying there’s no point in sending out resumes and cover leLers because you can just TELL THEM when they call you in for an interview.

It doesn’t work that way…

How the hell are they gonna know if they even SHOULD waste their 9me to meet you in an interview if you don’t fit what they’re looking for?

Online da9ng is the same thing.

So unless you con9nue to go around and just meet women face to face with

trial and error… then you need to get over yourself and get INTO yourself online.

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Here’s how to create a profile that literally creates a set of internal reac9ons

and emo9ons within a woman, that gets her picturing who you are, picturing herself WITH you, and desperately wan9ng to meet you:

1. Write down a list of 10 things that you DO that are 100% unique to YOU

(meaning that not EVERY GUY can say he does that

2. Make sure if you said this out loud to somebody they can literally PICTURE you doing it as if they’re standing right there with you

3. Go through all to make sure these are stated as SPECIFICALLY AS POSSIBLE

4. Go back and ask yourself which ones you like best ABOUT yourself,

which ones you’d be fine telling a complete stranger at a coffee shop, and which ones you WANT women to know about you

* WARNING: Leave all the ones that you IMMEDIATELY laughed or smiled at

amer reading them back

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CHAPTER 6: Your Ideal Woman and You Now since we’re here to actually FIND a woman that you want… we’re

gonna have to lay out what a woman you WANT is actually like.

BeLer yet…

Instead of DESCRIBING her… you’re actually gonna TALK TO HER.

In my first program, “Speak to Spark Arousal,” I discussed the Rule of 3 and the Trusty Triangle, both of which explain the need to have a “Me + You + Us” in every interac9on you have from here on out.

And in crea9ng your profile, you are actually crea9ng an engaging conversa9on with your ideal woman based on who YOU are.

And the reason you need to talk to her… ABOUT HER… is because you’re invi9ng her into your life… giving her a slice of your world and what’s in it for her is she’s lucky enough to find out for herself.

Most profiles are very one-‐dimensional… but lis9ng out the absolutely unique things about you and literally ENGAGING her in the conversa9on of your life…

That’s what makes your profile 3-‐D and THAT’S what causes intrigue, desire, and excitement towards you.

So let’s talk to your lucky lady…

For each statement, write EXACTLY what you would say DIRECTLY to a woman if she “caught you” doing this ac9on in front of her.

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Then, go through your list of unique traits, your response to her if she

caught you…

Then write what you would want her to DO in that moment or HOW your ideal woman would react.

For instance, if you put on your socks inside out because you believe it absorbs beLer shock… and she CAUGHT YOU, you might say something like, “What?! It makes sense to ME and if you CAN prove me wrong then I’d like

to see you try!”

OR…

If you rub your feet together before bed because you’re very OCD about

NOT geXng ANY dirt in the bed, you can say, “Hey…you’ll appreciate not having any dirt in this bed, ok? Try it it’s fun!” Whatever it is, she needs to see what her life with you will be like…and the

second she can picture it she’ll start to feel strongly FOR it.

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CHAPTER 7: Check for conversation Ok not so fast…!

We s9ll need to check for one of the BIGGEST deterrents for women in an online da9ng space…

And that’s… GRAMMATICAL ERRORS!

Yeah I know…yeah I dunno.

Whatever the reason, studies have been duh, bla bla bla… REALLY though…

women HATE that shit.

Amer you give it the ‘ol English Class Approval, read everything back to yourself to make sure it sounds like you’re actually siXng there and

SPEAKING to somebody standing right in front of you. → Does it sound like you’re having a conversa9on with somebody? → Does it sound like you’re talking DIRECTLY to somebody? → IS THE GRAMMAR PERFECT?! (I and every woman on the planet will find

just ONE TYPO and say, “Pssssh DUMBASS!” and immediately click away from your profile…DO NOT BE A VICTIM!)

→ How do YOU feel reading your profile? Do you like it? Does it make you smile? Does it make you laugh?

→ Anything that makes you cringe, causes a “Eh whatever” reac9on, or just doesn’t interest you in the least…TAKE IT OUT. IF YOU have that reac9on to YOURSELF imagine how COMPLETE STRANGERS are gonna react to it.

Once you do all these checks…you’re good to go on your “About Me”

sec9on…anything ELSE you fill out from here will be an added bonus.

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Just be sure to remove ALL nega9vity and keep it high energy and

posi9ve ;-‐)

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CHAPTER 7: The Pictures: What You SHOW Here’s the thing with pictures… you need at LEAST 4 in order to disarm her

online da9ng defenses.

Anything less than the 4 I’m about to describe to you is gonna make her thing, “Ummm…. I dunno…”

And we’re not here to get women thinking, “Umm I’m dunno” about you.

Simple as that.

We’re here to get them thinking, “I WANNA MEET HIM NOOOOWWWW!”

You can have MORE than 4 I just say keep it to less than 10.

Anything more is gonna look like you’re trying too hard…like girls with duck-‐face selfie pictures in the bathroom (if you have any of these up TAKE THEM DOWN NOWWWW!!!)

So before we get into the 4 pictures you NEED to have, here’s a list of pictures you need to ABSOLUTELY GET RID OF IMMEDIATELY: → single-‐selfies (I mean it… this is the epitome of everything it means to be

a GIRL and EVERY GIRL looks down on male selfies I PROMISE YOU…

even the ones of you in the car with your arm cropped out of the picture; selfies with other people, dogs, or kids are allowed)

→ nothing but pictures of you with your friends (if we can’t pick you out from the crowd, we’re gonna assume you’re the HOTTEST guy there... and if we have to assume anything we’re gonna assume that there’s

nothing special about you) → pictures of you with guys who are BETTER LOOKING and taller than you

(the reality is online da9ng is very superficial to begin with… do NOT sell

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yourself short by having a nega9ve comparison shown in any way… I

don’t care if he’s your best bro GET RID OF IT) → a batch of pictures of ONLY your face (it makes you look one-‐dimensional

and like you have nothing else going for you) → pictures of you doing the same thing over and over and over again

(whether it’s 7 pictures of you siXng in the same place, the same angle, or several shots of you standing at aLen9on… this too makes you look one-‐dimensional)

→ pictures of things that aren’t YOU (I don’t care if it was a pain9ng you

did, if you think it’s beau9ful, or if your dog is the most important thing in your life… YOU need to be in those pictures… the more you take the focus off you the more opportunity you have to LOSE her)

→ a plethora of pictures where she can’t even make out your face (mystery is NOT the best policy here)

→ a profile picture of you with a hat or sunglasses on (THIS IS MISLEADING! Every guy looks hot with a hat and sunglasses on… only PROBLEM IS you look a SHIT TON more different with them off! The element of surprise will NOT work well in your favor here. The best you can do is BE YOU up

front) → pictures where you’re way too far to even be SEEN (again… if we can’t

SEE YOU we’re scared of you… like things in a dark alley) → sexy stare selfies (just… ugh…*shaking head and walking away*) → any pictures that you’d be too embarrassed for your friends to see

(enough said)

OK… that’s the general gist of what to REMOVE from your profile now if you

have one up… and when in doubt, ask yourself, “How am I coming across in this picture?” followed by, “Do I wanna come across as THAT?”

Now onto the pictures you SHOULD have.

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Like I said, you should have at LEAST 4 pictures with the following

themes below:

1. Confidence (BEST OPTION for profile picture) Again, I don’t care how far we’ve come in modern society, women STILL want men who will sweep them off their feet and take the lead when it comes to da9ng.

Regardless of whether or not they’ll ADMIT to wan9ng it, it’s s9ll ins9nc9vely ingrained in EVERY WOMAN to direct her aLen9on to a guy who looks confident.

Now you’re probably saying, “OK how the hell am I supposed to LOOK confident in a picture?”

Easy.

Whether you’re giving a talk, in a tuxedo at a wedding, in a business suit, or EVEN just looking AWAY from the camera (more on that in a sec), these are all social cues that let a woman know you’re a strong,

confident guy.

A bunch of online da9ng studies have found that pictures of guys looking away from the camera conveys confidence, mostly because it conveys a

sense of low investment and mystery.

Meaning you’re too cool to pay aLen9on to whoever’s taking the picture right now which ALSO makes a woman ins9nc9vely posit that, “Wow

he’s too cool to even make eye contact…*droooool*”

Regardless, put yourself in a power posi9on like this and it’ll intrigue a woman into wan9ng to know more about you.

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2. Social -‐ Have pictures of you with at LEAST one other person. This shows that OTHER people can vouch for you and makes us feel safer to meet up with you in person.

HOWEVER, make sure you’re the BEST LOOKING MAN in the picture!

Going back to our “don’ts for pictures, you never wanna start yourself off

in a nega9ve light…” nega9ve being you are shorter than another guy in the picture or quite clearly less aLrac9ve as ANOTHER man in the picture.

Also, if you’re gonna have pictures of yourself with WOMEN, these

women CANNOT be drop-‐dead gorgeous by general societal standards.

Meaning no pictures with girls and their 9ts hanging out, no pictures with girls making kiss faces in 9ght short dresses, no pictures of you

popping boLles with 8 girls on each arm.

None of that.

I don’t care if you have a drop-‐dead gorgeous sister, best friend, group of friends, or WHATEVER.

Women will ins9nc9vely think, “OH well if SHE’S someone in his life he

must be used to bimbos.”

Don’t ask why… it’s just what we do… even if we think we’re actually WAY BETTER LOOKING than them… we’ll s9ll think you’re THAT kind of

guy.

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Regardless, have pictures with other people where THEY look like they’re

enjoying themselves from being in your presence.

This will make her think, “Oh if THEY’RE having a good 9me around him…I probably will too."

3. Outdoorsy -‐ A picture of you LITERALLY outside Even if you’re not an outdoors guy, this pulls at her primal, ins9nc9ve reflexes in rela9on to finding a suitable mate who can handle himself in

the wild.

It basically tells her that, “Oh look THAT guy can manage to keep himself alive outside of the house" (back in primi9ve days women wanted men who could handle being out in the world to get resources and survive to

come back and BRING those resources back to the tribe).

No you don’t need to be wrestling bears in pictures or hiking the Himalayas...

I’m dead serious when I say you JUST need to be OUTSIDE, whether it’s at a train stop, the beach, or an outdoor taco stand… as long as you are out in the world this will work to your advantage.

4. Unique to YOUR PERSONALITY -‐ Pictures that your friends or family would look at and think, “Only HE would do that."

These are pictures that highlight your personality or give her a beLer idea of what you’re like when you’re around your nearest and dearest and don’t give a shit about impressing anyone.

Again, this is the hidden gem she gets to have that separates you from any other guy out there in the world.

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It’s the picture that’s gonna cause her to laugh, to think endearingly about you, and most likely be the 9pping point that gets her from, “Maybe…” to “Hell YEAH baby!”

These might be pictures of you making a weird face, doing something silly, working on something near and dear to your heart, or you caught in a super candid moment.

Now the last thing that is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY isn’t a TYPE of picture… but cap9ons FOR your pictures.

I don’t mean descrip9ve pictures of what’s IN the picture like, “Me at Lake Tahoe” or “Sunday breakfast with Mom”...

You need to write what you are ACTUALLY SAYING IN this picture…

For instance, if somebody were to stand right next to you when that picture

was being taken, what would you be saying to that person?

Picture cap9ons are the most read pieces of print besides headlines… and adding what you’re SAYING to these pictures is going to make her visualize

her life with you even more, which is gonna set off a chain reac9on of emo9ons in a way that gets her EXCITED to actually BE a part of your life.

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SECTION III: CONCLUSION

SECTION III Conclusion

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CHAPTER 8: Your Plug N Play Profile - Set It And Forget It!

I remember when I did my brother’s online da9ng profile…

We had agreed it was GREAT by the 9me we finished it.

The next morning, I signed on to ADMIRE my brother’s online da9ng profile… only to see that he had COMPLETELY changed it by the 9me I woke

up the next morning!

I immediately jump on the phone to ask him, “WHAT THE FUCK!?!!?!?”

He explained, “Well! I started looking at other girls’ profiles last night amer we got off the phone and I would change my profile based on what they said they liked… or what they said they were looking for… so they could see that I was the guy!!”

While I was preLy disappointed at the fact that he changed it to TRY TO BE somebody according to what OTHER people wanted, I wasn’t surprised.

This is actually preLy common.

You’re gonna go through a lot of girls’ profiles and think, “OK how can I show her that I’m her guy?”....

And then run back to YOUR profile to go tailor yourself TO HER.

What do you think the problem would be with that?

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Well, at the end of the day… you can run circles around yourself trying to BE

some girl’s perfect guy… but you’ll always find yourself trying to be perfect for MORE than just one girl…

PreLy soon 1 girl turns into 5, un9l you become this Frankenstein of an

online da9ng presence where you can’t even remember what girl you’re supposed to LOOK perfect for.

Now, the point of ONLINE da9ng is to get offline…

But the point of DATING…is to find a woman who you ul9mately want to be with.

The point of da9ng is NOT to sit around and hope that one day a woman

picks YOU. No.

The point of da9ng is to find your ideal woman… and the only way to get to her is to be the SELECTOR… to be the guy who weeds out all the OTHER

women who don’t make the cut…

And you will never BE the selector if you’re constantly changing who you are as a means to BE selected.

This profile is meant to be 100% YOU apart from any other man out there… and it’s meant to aLract a woman who will appreciate, adore, and love the YOU that no other man can ever be.

As long as everything you wrote up un9l this point is true, as long as every picture is actually OF YOU, and as long as you wrote down exactly how your ideal woman would REACT to the YOU you described…

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You’ll get the women you ul9mately want…and the women who deserve

YOU.

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SECTION IV: The Online Female-‐Filter System

SECTION IVThe Online Female-

Filter System

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CHAPTER 9: The First Message: The “Hey You…YEAH YOU!”

While your profile is there to get a woman seeing you for who you are… and aLrac9ng women that ul9mately want… you s9ll need to message the

women you come across and think, “I goLa meet her.”

Again, sure we’ve come a long way in modern 9mes and women DO ask men out these days… however, we s9ll ul9mately see it as the man’s job to

pursue us.

I can’t tell you how many of my girlfriends will sit there, stare at men online and think, “WHY WON’T HE MESSAGE ME?!?!??!!”

When I casually ask, “Why don’t you message HIM?” they’ll say, “Eww no I’m not gonna chase anyone.”

And I’m no excep9on.

Even as a da9ng coach and being in the posi9on I’m in now, I STILL cannot bring myself to message men first.

And because women have more op9ons online, we know damn well that we don’t HAVE TO message guys first…

And for every guy that we “hope to hear from,” we have that many more

awesome guys actually contac9ng us.

A lot of guys talk them out of messaging women, saying, “Well I’m just gonna wait 9l women message ME because there’s no point in talking to

women unless they want me.”

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Really?

This is such a pussy move!

It’s the same thing as saying, “I’ll just take whatever falls into my lap.”

And because I know you’re a guy who isn’t gonna seLle for anything less than what he ABSOLUTELY wants, I know you’re not gonna sit on your ass and AVOID sending the first message when you find a woman you want ;-‐)

So let’s talk about the “approach” message in online da9ng.

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CHAPTER 10: How Women Read Their Inboxes

When a woman first checks her inbox… this is what she sees:

Now be honest, how many of these do you think are worth opening and/or responding to?

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I’d say about 2.

Yeah. 2…

I’ll open those 2 later…

Women sign on and see THIS SHIT and literally scroll through and think ok WHO’S worth hearing from?

If what you say doesn’t catch our aLen9on, you’ll go straight into the “TRASH” pile (which is where about 90% of all these will go).

I didn’t even LOOK at what these guys look like.

I s9ll don’t know nor do I care… I read the words… and ask myself first, “OK who wrote something worth opening?”

This is why it’s so important to make the VERY FIRST WORDS of your

message SPECIFICALLY DIRECTED at her.

Whether you’re commen9ng on something she said in her profile or a picture you saw, it needs to say, “HEY YOU I’M TALKING TO YOOOOOOU!"

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CHAPTER 11: How We Women Read Through First Messages

First we wanna see what you said about us…

We all inherently are self-‐indulgent and enjoy people saying nice things about us. Period. WOMEN feel the same way.

So first comes, “OK what awesomely awesome thing did he say about me?!”

So we open the message… and lo and behold…

He didn’t really say anything else.

Like this guy:

Now this is OK… but at BEST I’d just answer his ques9ons and call it a day. At worst, I’d think of the answers in my head… and then delete his message.

Some9mes depending on the picture, women will be like “HMMMM…

lemme SEE if he’s worth responding to…”

But we’re here to create a knee-‐jerk reac9on to get her laughing and smiling and REPLYING on the spot…

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The further away you get from THAT, the further you away you get from

actually GETTING her. So this is a no… basically because you just hyper-‐focused on me and there’s nothing making me feel like I NEED to respond to you.

No connec9on…

Mostly cuz it’s a one-‐sided conversa9on.

How would you feel if when someone first met you they immediately started talking ABOUT YOU and firing off a shit ton of ques9ons at you.

You might feel pressure… you might feel interrogated… you might feel weirded out… you might feel ANNOYED and desperately wanna get out of

there as fast as possible.

Women feel the same way when you hyper-‐focus on us during the first message.

We think oh that’s nice he said all that stuff about me and asked me all those ques9ons AND that’s too much… NEXT.

Here’s an example of a BETTER message:

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I like this.

He talked about something he liked about my profile… connected it to himself and even got me laughing…

What do YOU think the problem is with this message though?

There’s the whole “Me + You” in there… there just isn’t an “US.”

Also… he asked ques9ons in the middle of the message… DOING THIS MAKES US FORGET YOU ASKED US ANYTHING and completely stunts our knee-‐jerk need to RESPOND to you.

It shuts off conversa9on.

It’s like asking, “How’s your day going?” and THEN going into a 10-‐minute story about your day and how it was hilarious and awesome and now you’re heading to this awesome party that your friend’s having…

What?

OK.

DON’T SHUT OFF OPPORTUNITIES FOR HER TO ENGAGE.

Keep ques9ons at the end.

And NEVER end with, “Hope you’re having a nice day.”

That’s like saying, “Hope you have a nice life cuz I’m expec9ng to never hear

from you again.”

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And if you end with that… we’ll just say, “OK…thanks for the sweet

message” in our heads and move onto the next guy.

OK before I move into the PERFECT first message… I wanna highlight more UNperfect messages…

And those are ones that: → List things about her and over-‐ques9on her → List things about YOU and go on in full-‐length about things you’re

supposed to talk about on DATES → List out 241389 ways you connect to what she says in full-‐paragraph

form → End with “have a nice day” or “I hope to hear from you” → Have any nega9vity → Have anything like, “I know you’re probably busy” or put HER in a higher

posi9on than you → Things that bash online da9ng → Ones that just say “Hi” → Ones that say something that ANY guy can say to ANY girl → Ones that don’t have to do with either you or her → Ones meant to cause INSTANT reac9ons but have no substance → Creepy messages talking about how you like how she looks → Random things that somebody would ask/say IN THE MIDDLE of a

conversa9on (I like that shirt, what’s up?, how’s it going?, Hey I’m MaL) → Saying “I’d love to get together/meet/hang out/take you out” (serial

killers say this stuff) → Asking her out in the first message → Asking weird ques9ons that you wouldn’t normally ask anyone in

person, “So tell me about yourself/what do you do for fun? /can we get to know each other? /are you interested in geXng to know me?”

So here’s what some of those look like:

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SECTION V: IDEAL MESSAGES FROM MEN

SECTION V Ideal Messages from

Men

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CHAPTER 11: The Perfect First Message Now onto the perfect first message.

So now that you know how a woman first scans her inbox… let’s talk about what gets her excited to not only READ your message, but to INSTINCTIVELY respond right then and there before she even has a chance to look at your picture or profile.

Because once you can cause this INSTANT posi9ve reac9on that causes her to “ACT” without thought, she automa9cally likes you and then FINDS more reasons to like you when she eventually DOES go through your profile and

pictures.

Here is the template for the perfect message:

1. State something you liked, found interes9ng, instantly caught your

aLen9on, would like to know more about, or can connect strongly to. 2. State your “why” based on something about YOU.

3. *Open-‐ended ques9on about HER

4. *Connec9ng “US” statement regarding the laLer

If you’re gone through my “Speaking to Spark Arousal” program… you probably know that this sequence follows my Rule of 3 and Trusty Triangle.

Basically for any woman to literally begin to FEEL something for you… it starts with connec9on where you have a “Me + You + Us” in all your interac9ons.

Now, numbers 3 and 4 can be interchangeable… but omen9mes it’s gonna

be easier for YOU to formulate a message in this order…

I’ll explain why later but here’s why THIS par9cular order works:

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Sta9ng what you liked about her or something about her profile is the

aLen9on grabber that says, “Hey I’m talking to YOU specifically!”

Opening up about yourself gives shows her your human side and how she can connect to you on a personal level.

Direc9ng it back to her with an open-‐ended ques9on leaves that tension meant to create a knee-‐jerk reac9on to get her to respond without first ANALYZING whether to write back to you.

What you did was you set up a conversa9on so that she literally FEELS the conversa9on happening in real 9me, due to the personal connec9on you created… and thus feels the ACTUAL tension of needing to answer someone’s ques9on if that person were actually standing in front of her.

Then closing off the message with a (VERY QUICK) “US” statement reminds solidifies the connec9on between the two of you and without YOU having to feel the tension of an unanswered ques9on!

I can’t tell you how DIFFICULT I’ve found it for guys to leave messages with open-‐ended ques9ons… and I myself can never bring myself to end an email that way either.

And if you sit there in that anxiety you’re not gonna feel good about sending it… and the longer you’re gonna take to hit send… and the more you’re gonna think FUCK lemme just write more stuff!

AGAIN… I said number 3 and 4 are interchangeable…

Now like I said, ending with a ques9on is MEANT to cause tension… tension

strong enough that gets her to INSTINCTIVELY react and respond… and that’s what you’re looking for.

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And when people perform an ac9on without preconceived thoughts as to why they did it… they begin to formulate their logical reasons around the fact that they must have just WANTED to.

It’s called cogni9ve dissonance, where our instant ac9ons formulate our understanding of what we want as opposed to the other way around.

This is where women sleep with men WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT and

wake up the next morning thinking, “Omg I must be in love with him!”

Yeah so formula9ng the message THIS WAY creates that same effect… and THAT’S what you’re looking for!

Here’s an example of a message that caused that exact reac9on in me…to the point where I didn’t even care what he looked like, didn’t even care that I couldn’t see his face, I JUST REACTED AND RESPONDED:

Ending the conversa9on this way, AGAIN, is gonna cause some tension on your part though, mostly because you are NOT having a real, in person conversa9on… so there’s nobody THERE to relieve the tension of the ques9on.

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You’ll just have to sit with it. OR… Use the former statement sequence

instead ;-‐)

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CHAPTER 12: The Conversation The conversa9on shouldn’t be a long-‐winded conversa9on that you can

have in person… HOWEVER, it should be a PREVIEW to one.

The point is to constantly connect, where she literally SEES that you guys can relate on a lot of stuff.

When people feel like they can relate to someone it makes them feel empathy for them, it makes them feel safe with them, and it instantly makes them like them.

That’s what rapport is.

And if a woman doesn’t feel rapport with you on the interwebs… she’s not gonna wanna MEET YOU in person… unless she’s desperate….

OR she’ll agree to meet you MAYBE and then there’s that many more chances of her flaking in the 9me between.

The point is to get her EXCITED to meet you… and this is where the proper back and forth comes in.

Now the shorter the conversa9on thread, the less of a connec9on you can

create…

But the LONGER the thread… the more opportunity for boredom to strike.

Lemme explain.

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She’s READING what you’re saying… the more she has to READ IT without

HEARING you say it the more she’ll start to equate your conversa9ons with monotonous reading.

The sweet spot for me is anywhere between 3-‐5 exchanges between both

people… although I think 5 is REALLY REALLY pushing it… I add it in because some9mes people write 2 responses back.

Your main objec9ve is to write down 3 types of responses:

1. Meant to create a PLATONIC connec9on (surface level connec9on based on details in profile)

2. Meant to create a PLAYFUL connec9on (emo9onal connec9on based on humor)

3. Meant to create a FLIRTY connec9on (visual connec9on based on

future projec9ons)

Again, if you’ve gone through “Speak to Spark Arousal,” you’ll see that this follows the sequence of Baking the Sex Cake, which is meant to amplify her

feelings from connec9on, to enjoyment, to arousal and an9cipa9on.

As long as you make these 3 connec9ons you will literally amplify her desire to meet you in person.

And I’m gonna teach you how to do that now.

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CHAPTER 13: Never leave the conversation (unless you’re pulling from her profile)

Now this is ONLY a template to use IF SHE GIVES YOU A RESPONSE THAT YOU LIKE!

If she gave you some 9red-‐ass, one-‐word answer… I want you to REALLY ask yourself what you would wanna take THAT GIRL out for…

You’ll probably be bored to tears if you meet her in person!

Remember, this is about geXng who YOU want and WEEDING OUT all the women who don’t make the cut.

And if you don’t LIKE her response… then I say move on.

You COULD use the template for the first message again un9l she gives you

something personal of herself to work with… and then that’s just a lot of you doing the work to connect connect connect and show her you’re not a serial killer.

But really if you have to get to the point where it’s a one-‐way conversa9on

that elicits your need to PROVE YOURSELF to her, I say cut your losses and find a woman who doesn’t talk to you like you’re beneath her.

Because this will happen… and THESE WOMEN are beneath YOU.

OK back to the template to use amer she answers…

Here’s the template.

How to Message (AFTER Response):

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[State something NEW you no9ced, liked, were curious about, related

to, or were intrigued by in her response] + [Say what THAT reminds you of] + [Open-‐Ended ques9on about her] + [Connec9ng statement about the two of you]

The point is to constantly create new connec9ons. Whatever you do don't hammer out just ONE connec9on.

It'll get boring.

Boring gets you nowhere.

Here’s an example of a conversa9on that COULD’VE gone somewhere due to the knee-‐jerk reac9on I had in FIRST messaging him back… and you’ll see

how and why it got sour from there:

YOU NEED TO CONSTANTLY CREATE CONNECTIONS!

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By constantly crea9ng new connec9ons you make her feel even more safe,

you make yourself even more LIKEABLE, and more IMPORTANTLY you make yourself that much more INTRIGUING.

Just constant remind yourself ME + YOU + US.

If the first message didn’t involve any humor, you MUST inject it into your second.

This is where you need to take the connec9on you created from the first message to now bring ENERGY into the mix.

Right now, from the first message, she thinks, “Oh cool me and this guy have this connec9on!”

The next thing you need is to get her FEELING something for you… which is why it’s important to make her LAUGH.

I have full descrip9ons and examples of ways to be PLAYFUL in “Speak to Spark Arousal,” so for the sake of brevity, I will say that in order to get her laughing, you can tease her, misinterpret something she says, and do a mini role play.

Whatever you say, your goal of the 2nd-‐4th messages is to establish NEW connec9ons and inject HUMOR.

Remember, the first message is a SUPERFICIAL connec9on… And the SECOND message is the EMOTIONAL connec9on…

And right now the ONLY emo9on she should feel towards you is giddy and

excited and OVERALL energized and POSITIVE.

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That posi9ve energy is the only thing that’s gonna get you to the next level

with her… The next level being from GOOD MESSAGES to GETTING OFFLINE.

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CHAPTER 13: OPERATION: Ask Her Out and Get OFFline NOW!

Remember why you signed up for online da9ng?

Well, whether or not it’s become a monotonous mindless pas9me or another source of window shopping in the comfort of your own home…

The point was to…

DATE!

And losing sight of that reason is going to make you come to lose out on the

woman you actually wanna MEET and eventually come to hate it.

You’re on there to DATE.

You’re not on there to banter back and forth with a woman… you’re not on there to send a shitload of messages… and you’re not on there to GET TO KNOW a woman.

You’re on there to FIND WOMEN that YOU THINK are good enough for YOU

to take out on a date.

So when you find a girl you like… a woman who gets your banter… who you connect with on a lot of different levels… and you drown her in a sea of get-‐

to-‐know-‐you messages that lead to nowhere…

That’s exactly where you’re gonna get.

The point of ONLINE da9ng is to get OFFLINE.

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There IS no other goal.

And as soon as you have enough amo to fire The Ask… you should do it.

(And by the Ask I mean ask her out… in case you didn’t catch that)

I’ve gone and analyzed SOOOOOO MANY messages from my own girlfriends where they’ve complained that, “I don’t get it! Look at how many messages we sent WHY WON’T HE ASK ME OUT?!”

And when I say, “Well why not ask HIM out?”

They simply answer, “Oh I can’t do that…I’m the girl.”

Plain and simple if you want to meet her… I don’t care HOW FAR we’ve come in women’s rights and all that shit… women STILL want you to take the reins in the ini9al phases of da9ng.

So let’s get that girl off your computer and into arm’s reach.

The Perfect “Let’s Hang Out” Message

AGAIN, if you’ve gone through Speak to Spark Arousal, you’ll see that the perfect message to ask a woman out online is almost EXACTLY like The Number Sandwich (the statement used to get her number).

Before we get into HOW to ask…

Here are ways to NOT ask her out: → Telling her you wanna take her out some 9me…PERIOD. → Asking her out in the first message → Saying that you wanna get to know her more

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→ Telling her that, “If you’re interested… I’d like to get drinks some 9me” → Telling her that you wanna take her on a DATE → Asking her if she’s interested in you → Asking her if she wants to meet you in person

OK so if that’s how you normally ask a woman out… STOP THAT SHIT NOW!!!!!!

NOOOOWWW!!!

Did you stop?

OK, good.

So here’s the PROPER way to ask a woman out online: 1. State something you enjoyed, or connected on, or are curious about HER

2. Tell her you need her number/wanna meet her already so that...

3. Discuss awesome future event that you two will embark on together

EXAMPLE: That's it I've never met a girl who could rock out on drums the way you can on rock band… what's your number because we NEED to have a super awesome jam-‐sesh together #warning I will most likely (definitely)

throw my bra at you if you're as good as you claim to be

BoLom line you need to give her incen9ve and reason to go out with you BASED ON the ini9al connec9on and posi9ve interac9on you built up thus

far.

For the record, women don’t wanna go on dates, get coffee, or get drinks.

We can do that shit by ourselves or with our friends.

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You need to let her know what would be great about going out with YOU

apart from any other man out there and apart from anybody she ALREADY hangs out with.

You need to set yourself apart.

And the only way to do that is to use your unique connec9on TO HER to en9ce her OUT of your computer and INTO a date of HER choice.

Yes I said her choice.

And I by no means mean you need to ask her what she wants to do.

DON’T EVER DO THAT!

I mean use what you ALREADY KNOW ABOUT HER to take her somewhere you know she’d wanna go.

Whether she’s from Maine and you know a great seafood restaurant…

Or she plays the piano and you know a bar that has a live jazz band…

Or she’s REALLY into football and you know a great restaurant that has EVERY SINGLE GAME playing on a Sunday…

Whatever it is… you should have MORE THAN ENOUGH to go off of from

your previous messages…

All you have to do is pick and play that card.

Here’s the perfect example of how to ask out a girl online:

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Now, you probably have NO IDEA what any of this means in this message…

WHICH YOU SHOULDN’T!

The point is… what’s being said in this conversa9on is stuff that only ME and THIS GUY will ever understand… because it’s based SOLELY off our personal connec9ons.

And you have to constantly ask yourself, “Is what I’m saying easily applicable to other women? Can any other guy say the stuff I’M saying?”

So saying, “Oh you have a big family? I have a big family too” is gonna SUCK compared to, “Oh you have a big family? The last 9me we had a family

reunion there were 130 of us and you can’t even make out our faces in the pictures!”

So un9l you make SOLID, UNIQUE connec9ons… you won’t have a SOLID

ENOUGH REASON for her to wanna meet you in person…

Because she won’t know what makes you different from any other guy.

But the more you can FINE-‐TUNE your connec9on down to her apart from any other woman out there… and you apart from any other MAN out there… the STRONGER the need she’ll feel to actually MEET you.

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So the first message was the superficial connec9on…

Second message was EMOTIONAL connec9on…

In the Baking the Sex Cake, the third step would be FLIRTY conversa9on.

Now I wouldn’t say you need to get flirty here because the LESS you do flirty ONLINE the stronger your chance of MEETING her offline.

But, in Speak to Spark Arousal, one of the WAYS to get flirty was role playing date ideas… and THIS is where, in online da9ng…you need to create a VISUAL connec9on.

And this is why it’s so important for you to tell her what a date with you would look like BASED on your connec9ons.

So now, she not ONLY feels a connec9on to you…not only feels POSITIVE

and EXCITED from your conversa9ons… now she can literally PICTURE those posi9ve and excited connec9ons OFF THE INTERNET…

And this is gonna cause the knee-‐jerk reac9on in her to wanna see you… it’s

gonna cause a build-‐up of tension that can only be relieved BY finally mee9ng you.

Which again is what?

YES!

The POINT of online da9ng.

Documents

Get Offline With Online Dating - Speak To Spark Arousalspeaktosparkarousal.com/media/wolf-pack-products/plug-n-play.pdf · !2 The Plug 'N' Play Profile: Get Offline With Online Dating