Gender and Sex

• Sex is a designation based on biology

• Gender is socially and psychologically constructed

Gender• Neither innate nor necessarily stable

• Acquired through interaction in a social world

• Changes over time

• We are born male or female

• We learn to be masculine or feminine

Gendered speech communities

Labov defines a speech community as existing when a group of people share a set of norms regarding communicative practices

The lessons of child play

• We can gain insight into how boys and girls learn norms of communication by observing them at play

• Boys and girls learn how to talk and how to interpret what one another says during play

• Young children almost always play in sex-segregated groups and play different kinds of games

Boys games

Are competitive, have clear goals, include physically rough play, and are organized by rules and roles

Little need to discuss how to playIndividuals status depends on standing

out, being better, and dominating other players

Engage in more heckling, storytelling, interrupting and commanding

Usually involve fairly large groups

Boys communication rules

1) Use communication to assert your ideas, opinions, and identity

2) use talk to achieve something

3) Use communication to attract and maintain others’ attention

4) Use communication to compete for the “talk stage,” Make yourself stand out; take attention away from others and get others to pay attention to you

Girls’ games

Tend to play in pairs or in very small groups

Do not have preset, clear-cut goals, rules, and roles

Players talk among themselves to decide what they’re doing and what roles they have

Lack of stipulated goals cultivates an interest in the process of interaction

Girls have to cooperate and work out problems by talking

Girls Communication Rules

1) Use communication to create and maintain relationships. The process of communication, not its content, is the heart of relationships

2) Use communication to establish egalitarian relationships with others. Don’t outdo, criticize, or put others down. If you have to criticize, be gentle

3) Use communication to include others – bring them into conversations, respond to their ideas

4) Use communication to show sensitivity to others and relationships

Feminine Speech

• Communication is a primary way to establish and maintain relationships with others – “RAPPORT”

• Talk IS the essence of relationships: foster connections, support, closeness and understanding

• Equality between people is important

Feminine Speech

• Show support for others – attention to the relationship level of communication

• Conversational maintenance work

• Inclusivity – responsiveness

• Personal, concrete

• Tentativeness

Masculine Speech

• Communication is a way to exert control, preserve independence, entertain and enhance status – “REPORT”

• Use talk to establish and defend personal status and ideas by asserting themselves, telling jokes and stories, or by challenging others

Masculine Speech

• Speak to exhibit knowledge, skill or ability

• Avoid personal disclosures

• Instrumental

• Conversational command

• Direct, assertive

Gendered Friendships• Commonalities in Women’s and

Men’s Friendships– both women and men value intimate

same-sex friends– both agree on basic qualities of close

friendships: intimacy, acceptance, trust and help

– what women and men want in friendships: trust, intimacy and instrumental assistance

Gender-linked patterns in friendship

• Communication is central to women friends; activities are primary focus of men’s friendships

• Talk between women friends tends to be expressive and disclosive, talk in men’s friendships generally revolves around less personal topics

Gender-linked patterns in friendship

• Men assume a friendship’s value and seldom discuss it; women are likely to talk about the dynamics of their relationship

• Women’s friendships generally appear to be broader in scope than those of men

Women’s Friendships: Closeness in Dialogue

– Women use talk to build connections– Women exchange information about

their daily lives and activities– Talk tends to be personal and

disclosive– Talk tends to be expressive and

supportive– Talk has explicit focus on the

relationship– They state affection explicitly– Talk has breadth

Men’s Friendships: Closeness in Doing

– Men express closeness through action and activities rather than talk

– Women look for confidants; men for companions

– Men’s friendships are instrumental; men like to do things for people they care about

– Men use “covert intimacy” – joking, razzing, teasing

Friendships Between Women and Men

• Offer unique challenges and opportunities for growth

• Difficult not to see each other in sexual terms

• Sex segregation in society• Different speech communities

Opposite-Sex Friendships

• Each partner has something unique to offer the friendship– Women provide personal support– Men offer activities to increase closeness– Women benefit from friendship that is more

fun; companionship less emotionally intense– Men benefit from access to emotional and

expressive support– Both sexes seek women friends in time of

stress; both women and men more comfortable self-disclosing to women

Misinterpretations Between Women and Men

• Showing support

• “Troubles talk”

• The point of the story

• Relationship talk

• Public speaking