GAV Leaders Guide

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Educators

GuideLaurie Mandel, Ed.D.

Kindergarten - 8th Grade


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A Character Educaon Program

Educators Guide

Laurie Mandel, Ed.D.

CALL 1-800-99-YOUTH (96884)

www.at-risk.com

Distributed by

A Brand of Prevention Products & Services, Inc.


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Get.A.Voice Educators Guide

2012 ActionWorks, Inc.

Distributed by The Bureau for At-Risk Youth

1-800-99-YOUTH (96884)www.at-risk.com

get.a.voice! is a registered trademark of ActionWorks, Inc.

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All rights reserved.

ISBN 978-1-56688-949-0

This book contains original reproducible activity handouts, exclusive with ActionWorks and is fully

protected by copyrights. The original purchaser of this book is authorized to reproduce and usethe individual items in this book for the generation of creative activity in a psychiatric/therapeutic/

educational setting. However, the reproducible activity handout collection in this book may not be

reprinted or resyndicated in whole or in part as a reproducible handout book or collection, or for any

other purpose without the written permission of the publisher.

This publication is meant to be used by an ADULT facilitator only. The handouts/activities should be

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Acknowledgments

With recognion and thanks to the many inspiring educators, administrators, experts, and support-

ers who have contributed to the Get.A.Voice Project including:

Chrisne Bergamino; William Bezmen, Ph.D.; Karen Cohen; Lou Colasuono; Mary Dezego; Mau-reen DiPaolo; Kathleen Flynn-Bisson; Linda Fortmuller; Kara Gorski; Paul Grafer; Judith Grant; Ken

Greenberg; Peter Hamilton; Amanda Kelly; Jessie Klein, Ph.D.; Brenda Lamiroult; Trudy Ludwig;

Tom Lyon; Joe Maddalone; Chris Maa; Krisanna Marndale; Ilene Mauner; Donald McPherson;

sj Miller, Ph.D.; Jay Mince, Ph.D.; Chrisne OLeary; Cheryl Pedisich; Janet Philbin; Cindy Pierce-Lee;

Anthony Pollera; Debbi Rakowsky, CSW; Roberta Richin; Trevor Romaine; Pat Rose; Trina Schibi;

Nicole Sieben; Je Spuches; Stacy Stanley; Vinny Vizzo; Diane Webber; Amanda Westbrook; Nicole

Wischiebe-Mazzo; Deborah Wolfe,

and

to the thousands of kids who courageously voiced their hopes, their stories, and their truths, even

those who believed their voices did not maer. They have taught me that language is perhaps the

most powerful resource we have as humans and is truly instrumental in creang caring and com-

passionate individuals, communies, and cultures.

Laurie Mandel


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Contents

Introduction ...............................................................................................................................7

About the Get.A.Voice Project .............................................................................................9

Why Should Our School Use Get.A.Voice? ............................................................9Core Belies ...............................................................................................................................11

Get.A.Voice and the Common Core State Standards ...............................................12

An Overview o Get.A.Voices Elements .........................................................................13

Getting Started .......................................................................................................................16

Implementing Get.A.Voice Schoolwide or Districtwide .........................................17

Launching the Get.A.Voice Project .......................................................................21

Other Initiatives ...........................................................................................................22

School-Home Communication ..............................................................................24Individually Making the Promise: Faculty and Staf ........................................25

Implementing Get.A.Voice in the Classroom ...............................................................29

Get.A.Voice Kindness Challenges...........................................................................31

Friendship Friday .........................................................................................................35

Implementing Get.A.Voice as a Club ...............................................................................39

Club Meetings ..............................................................................................................39

Action Research Activity or a Get.A.Voice Club ...............................................42

Implementing Get.A.Voice as an Individual .................................................................44Tips rom a School Social Worker: Words to Say ...............................................45

Grade Level Guidelines ........................................................................................................48

Grades K2 ...............................................................................................................................49

Vocabulary .....................................................................................................................50

The First Ten Days ........................................................................................................52

Situations and Solutions ...........................................................................................56

Activities ..........................................................................................................................56

Grades 35 ................................................................................................................................65Vocabulary .....................................................................................................................66



Activities ..........................................................................................................................71

Grades 68 ................................................................................................................................78

Vocabulary .....................................................................................................................79


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Activities ..........................................................................................................................84

Get.A.Voice Beyond the Classroom .................................................................................87

Activities ..........................................................................................................................87

GAV in Sports .................................................................................................................93

Appendix A: GAV Common Vocabulary .........................................................................95

Appendix B: Bullying: Facts and Statistics .....................................................................98

Notes ........................................................................................................................................100


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7Get.A.Voice Educators Guide

Introduction

How many times a day do you hear students insult each other, make un o someone, use put-

downs, even as they claim they are just kidding? Students and educators alike have long heard

personally directed epithets loaded with demeaning, malicious, and harmul language in hall-

ways, classrooms, caeterias, and locker rooms, and on playgrounds, felds, and buses. Being di-erent in some wayathletic ability, appearance, intelligence, race, religion, and even taste in

musicmakes kids magnets or teasing and bullying.1 Today, language used by young people

has become more vicious and cruel, even among children as young as kindergarten age. Tech-

nology and social media have escalated the bullying crisis, leading to an increased incidence o

suicide among our youth.

Bullying and social cruelty are the tools students use to elevate their own social status by target-

ing other students they perceive to be lesser in some wayless masculine, less strong, less pretty,

less smart, less ashionable.2 These behaviors establish group identity, dominance, and status at

the expense o another. We see this in cliques, which oten get their power rom excluding others;

in homophobic language, which devalues both boys and girls; and in labels and stereotypes thatare largely unjust and simply cruel.

As students enter middle school, when acceptance and

popularity become increasingly important within peer

groups, gender roles are a particularly requent trigger or

such behavior.3 Toughness and aggressiveness are impor-

tant status considerations or boys, while appearance and

ability to attract boys is largely a central status consider-

ation or girls. Think about it. What epithet is hurled at a boy because he missed the ball? Or be-

cause hes in eighth grade and his voice still hasnt changed? And what does one girl call another

(joking around, o course) i she is jealous because the second girl spends more time with a boythan with her?

Because o the social power o the norm, any deviation rom it oten generates social and rela-

tional aggression.4 Gender pressures and social demands created in our culture have led to boys

lashing out to prove their masculinity in bullying, violence, and school shootings.5 Though boys

are more likely than ever to express emotion toward same-sex peers, boys who areor are per-

ceived asgay remain stigmatized.6 Additionally, the increasing pressure or girls to be attractive

and tough has resulted in the use o attempts to prove themselves through aggressive actions

such as slut-bashing in text messaging and online.

Slut!

Fatso!

Retard!F

aggot!

Loser!

Find your voice and inspire

others to find theirs.

Stephen Covey, The 8th Habit


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8 Get.A.Voice Educators Guide

A childs peer group is a key inuence in the development and maintenance o bullying behav-

iors. Without intervention, the peer group unconsciously reinorces and maintains this behavior.

Understanding the role o the peer group is crucial.

We have reached a critical juncture in Americas schools. Even though social cruelty has been

around or generations, we now recognize its enduring impact on targets, perpetrators, and by-

standers alike.7 Only recently has school-based research moved away rom looking at the behav-

ior o bystanders and ocused more on their well-being in order to understand why they do notintervene.8

Asked what they wanted during their hours in school, hundreds o kids responded with answers

like these:

tobetreatedfairly

tofeellikeIbelong

tobetreatedbetter

tofeellikeImatter

tobeheard

tobeliked

tobeaccepted

There is an obvious gap between what students experience

daily and their desire to eel sae, included, accepted, and

liked. Though students may say, Oh, it doesnt matter or

I dont really care; Im used to it or It doesnt bother me

anymore, the bottom line is that i given a choice, kids

dont want to be called names or be put down, especially

by their own riends. They dont want to have to suck it up.

They dont want to, nor should they have to, witness otherkids being targeted or reasons they dont deserve or cant

control.

Ten years ater the pilot launch o Get.A.Voice, as I watched the movieBully, I saw twelve-year-old

Alex relentlessly taunted, called fsh ace, cursed, threatened, and told No one likes you! When

his mom asked him, Do you like bein bullied or something? Does that eel good? Why dont you

just stop it? his reply ripped through me. He said, Im starting to think I dont eel anything any-

more. Like most, he simply wanted nothing more than to ft in.

Language is the most powerul resource we have. There are many like Kelby and Alex: those who

have voices and those who need help to fnd their voices. The Get.A.Voice Project is a response to

the growing crisis, with the hope that we will inspire and empower our youth to use their voices,hearts, and talents to stand up to social cruelty and will support them in saying and doing the

right thing, so that the right thing eventually becomes the norm.

Laurie Mandel

It took me a while to realize

you cant change it all at once.

Its going to take multiple

people, multiple voices to

make a difference.Kelby, age 16

(from the movie Bully)


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About the Get.A.Voice Project

Get.A.Voice (GAV) is a philosophy that teaches students to use words that help instead o hurt in

ormal and inormal settings, with riends and others, across the school community. Given peer

pressure, even students with the best intentions can be bullies or bystanders under certain cir-

cumstances. Although standing up or onesel or others is one o the most challenging things or

human beings, it is key to creating a school culture that is socially, emotionally, and academically

successul.

Through a language-based set o practices that reect the

Common Core State Standards (and are aligned with such

anti-bullying legislation as New York States Dignity or All

Students Act), educators, students, and parents can use

GAV to create a school culture that empowers, supports,

and educates students to ulll their roles as upstanders.9

To accomplish this goal, GAV emphasizes the concept o

collective courage,10 helping students and adults who

directly or indirectly stand up or themselves and oth-

ers stay sae in the process, supported by other students,

teachers, and community stakeholders.

With extensive input rom teachers, administrators, counselors, support staf, students, and par-

ents rom seventeen schools in New York State, GAV evolved to become a language-based ap-

proach to decreasing name calling and bullying; increasing how oten students and adults elt

sae, valued, respected, and connected to each other in school; and achieving these goals in ways

that saved time or teachers and other educators.

Why Should Our School Use Get.A.Voice?

I your school already has character education and anti-bullying

programs, counseling sessions and disciplinary practices, GAV is

still singularly valuable. This guide provides easy-to-adopt class-

room and/or schoolwide practices and routines to extend the im-

pact o individual lessons and stand-alone programs. Although it

includes sample lessons, counseling tips, and suggested phrases

or students, educators, and coaches, GAV is not a series o lessons;

it is a way o being. Using the GAV philosophy, students will begin

to use words to help instead o hurt, rom entering school to walk-ing in the hallway to taking turns, rom asking and responding to

questions to ollowing directionsand even to simply greeting

each other in the morning.

GAV has ve attributes that distinguish its value as a character, civic, and citizenship model:

1. Get.A.Voice is language based.

GAV ocuses on the power o words, which most oten precede physical bullying. GAV most natu-

rally connects with speaking, reading, and writing across all subject and grade levels and in all

GAV at a GlanceThe academic

curriculum sits in the

social curriculum. I

your school is looking

or simplicity, academic

standards with social

goals, and a language-

based project that

impacts the entire

school community,Get.A.Voice is all o

these and more.

In school my self-esteem was

down to my ankles. I was told

that I was lazy, stupid, not living

up to my potential. The power

of negative thoughts [is] so

pervasive; theyre insidious.

These thoughts become a thesis

of negativity.

Henry Winkler


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spaces where students gather or ormal or inormal school lie. As a language-based approach

to help students excel academically and in their social and emotional development, it equips

students to choose words that help instead o words that hurt.

2. Get.A.Voice sets a standard for connecting by respecting.

From teacher tips to bulletin board guidelines to school-

wide implementation, GAV sets high expectations or how

all members o the school community use their collective

and individual voices to connect and respect. It arms that

adults shape organizational culture with consistency. This

process equips students and adults alike to draw on the

positive energy o the group to ght social cruelty.11

3. Get.A.Voice is user friendly.

Years o classroom-based research and teachers experi-

ence have shown that most educators nd GAV easy to

connect to what they are already doing in class. It is a cur-

riculum ramework that provides proven-efective learn-ing experiences, tips, interventions, activities, projects, and

service-learning ideas contributed by teachers.

GAV does not require extensive training to be efective.

With so many demands on todays educators, time and ease o use is paramount. The program

was developed with the guidance o teachers who initially objected to using such a model, un-

derstandably arguing that they had no time to do this work. For this reason, GAV supports and

extends the impact o everyday teaching, counseling and discipline, and dovetails with such

widely known initiatives as Responsive Classroom, Challenge Day, Words o Wisdom, Rachels

Challenge, Literacy Collaborative, Red Ribbon Week, No Mean

Words Day, and No-Name Calling Week, among others.

4. Get.A.Voice creates a wave effect.

GAV educators have ound that students connect with the pro-

grams concepts and spread its ideas quickly. It is the opposite o

gossip, though it operates on the same premise. Students want a

voice and want to share a voice. GAV encourages connection and

belonging and equips students and adults with positive power. It

is un, and others want to become involved!

5. Get.A.Voice focuses on empowerment.

Through adult role modeling and daily personal and team prac-

tice, GAV helps empower students to use their voices and their

hearts to beriend others, to be purposeul when they speak and

listen, and to do whats right so that doing the right thing eventu-

ally becomes the norm. Empowering students is the key to end-

ing or reducing disrespectul language, teasing, vicious gossip

and bullying, both in person and online. Adults cannot do this alone. Students cannot do this

alone. Teamwork, ocusing on student involvement and empowerment, is key.

GAV at a Glance

Get.A.Voice efectively

turns bystanders into

upstanders, victims

into empowered

teammates, and

bullies into supported

members o a school

community. Students

welcome how they

replace their behavior,

stand up to bullies and

or themselves and

their peers, and want to

become more involved.

The First Amendment does not

protect a bully when it comes tovulgar or intimidating language.

When the language or behavior

interferes with another students

educational opportunities

whether it is done inside or

outside of schoolit is not

protected by freedom of speech

or expression, and it should be

addressed by school officials.

Judy Brunner and Dennis Lewis,

Principal Leadership(September 2010)


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Core Beliefs

In todays culture, where kids are bombarded with social media and complex relationships, it is

imperative that we help our youth become more conscious o the power o thoughts, words and,

ultimately, actions. Toward that end, Get.A.Voice embraces our core belies:

1. Words are powerful.

GAVs language-based approach teaches that we are responsible or our words. Words have

power and consequences. They make us eel good or bad, included or let out, embarrassed or

elated; they hurt or heal. Mean-spirited insults, put-downs, and labels are all orms o judgment

that yield a alse sense o security or social status, that classiy and dichotomize people and their

actionswhether or not that is the speakers intent. The question is, how can we help kids eel

good without having to make others eel bad? Beore children can act rom the heart with kind-

ness, they must rst learn to recognize the real power o words.

2. Language shapes culture.Central to GAV is the notion that our language shapes our culture.

We recognize that in the ace o the peer culture even students

with the best intentions oten do not step up to the plate or

reasons that may include ear o being targeted, ear o losing a

riend, not knowing what to say, or not believing they can change

anything. Moving rom a culture o bystanderswho may not

incite bullying but who watch, walk away, or even join into a

culture o upstanders is key to shaping a positive school environ-

ment. When we bring students into this efort, we send the mes-

sage that their voices are pivotal.

3. Empowering students through collective courage is key.

A key tenet o GAV is the concept o collective courage: the idea

that one voice that sparks two more committed voices can dra-

matically shit the culture to make change happen. Thus no one is

alone, but all are supported and empowered. When students are

empowered to collectively stand up to bullies or mean-spirited kids in a kind way, we are able to

shit the ocus o whose voice is being listened to, emulated, and heeded.

4. Learning and caring are intentional outcomes of a conscious school culture.

Compassion comes rom connectedness. With the right combination o practices, individuals and

groups can measurably change what they do and say, and so begin to promote a culture that is

sae and welcoming. A climate where speaking up or respect is the norm takes intentional efort

and time, but it results in youth and others who eel sae, valued, connected, and empowered.

When we teach students to use words well, learning and caring ollow.

GAV at a Glance

The Get.A.Voice

philosophy rests on

the view that thoughts

become language

and language creates

cultures. It inspires the

one voice to become a

catalyst or supportive

voices through thephenomenon o

collective courage in

classrooms, schools, and

entire districts.


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Get.A.Voice and the

Common Core State Standards

The Common Core State Standards intend or all students to get and use voices that will help

them better understand themselves and communicate with others at school, so they are pre-

pared or college, career, and civic lie. The standards insist that instruction in reading, writing,

speaking, listening and language be a shared responsibility within the school. While the ELA

and content area literacy components are critical to college and career readiness, they do not

defne the whole o such readiness. Students require a wide-ranging, rigorous academic prepa-

ration and, particularly in the early grades, attention to such matters as social, emotional, and

physical development and approaches to learning.12

Get.A.Voice provides educators with ready-to-use, tested, real-world practices to help students

accrue the thousands o hours o successul, purposeul listening, speaking, reading, and writing

necessary or them to meet the Common Core State Standards that guide todays classrooms.

In the process, GAV helps students transer content knowledge into everyday communications

strategies without needing their teachers to conduct separate lessons regarding appropriate lan-

guage, behavior, interpersonal relations, or compassion.

To provide the wide-ranging and rigorous academic preparation in grades K8, GAV embraces

the CASEL (Collaborative or Academic, Social and Emotional Learning) model or social-emo-

tional learning.13 This model describes fve developmentally typical levels: sel-awareness, sel-

management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision making.


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An Overview of Get.A.Voices Elements

Get.A.Voice can be introduced as broadly as district- or schoolwide, or it can start with just one

classroom, a counseling oce, an ater-school club, a leadership group, an athletic team, or an

administrators approach to discipline. No matter what the scope, the ve elements o GAV are

its essential building blocks. Many members o the GAV community have been surprised at how

easily they built a GAV classroom or school culture by incorporating these ve elements. From

the varsity program to the choir to the entire math department, a GAV culture is possible in any

corner o a school community.

Element 1: Shared purpose

A shared purpose is a short, plain-language version o your mission

statement; it answers the question, Why do we have this school?

According to educator Robert Baranoski, classroom and school

communities that agree on their shared purpose and incorporate

it into daily practice enjoy higher levels o academic excellence,student conduct, and sta success than school communities that

do not adopt this practice. Baranoski writes: The modest task o

(creating) shared purpose contributes to the process o learning

and is particularly crucial to academic achievement.14 With a

plain-language, easy-to-remember shared-purpose statement in

place, people are less inclined to bully, cheat, or do other hurtul

things; instead, they continuously encourage each other to work

together to achieve that purpose.

Some GAV classrooms or schools brainstorm with the students

the shared purpose o school and arrive at a statement togeth-er. Others present students with the statement created by adult

teams. Either approach can be successul. GAV educators can start

with or even adopt one o these examples: Our shared purpose is

to help all our students learn well, stay sae, graduate and partici-

pate successully in society!15 or Our shared purpose is to create

an environment o respect, trust, hard work, and un as a team.16

Element 2: Common vocabulary

Every successul group uses a common vocabulary to communi-

cate eectively. When we have a common vocabulary in a schoolor classroom, we use the same words to mean the same things re-

garding such crucial terms as learning and saety, respect and re-

sponsibility. When we take a ew minutes to agree on what words

we use and how we dene them, we promote cooperation and

prevent many time-consuming and rustrating conficts.

Since GAV concentrates on language-based interactions, we pres-

ent the GAV common vocabulary in Appendix A (see page 95).

GAV at a Glance

Get.A.Voice:

challenges the just

kidding generation.supports students to

do the right thing, not

whats popular.

osters collective

courage as a means to

shit the peer culture.

sets and holds

a standard o

expectation or

ourselves, ourstudents, and each

other.

brings a whole

school/organizational

community into

this proactive,

preventative eort.

views educators

as coachesrole-

modeling, supporting,praising, redirecting

daily so that students

can eel that they

can and do make a

dierence, that their

voices matter.


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Element 3: Alignment

Alignment is a simple idea. It means that we use our shared purpose and common vocabulary to

teach, counsel, guide, and discipline our students. Alignment means that our words and actions

match each other. We demonstrate alignment when, or example, the messages on our posters

match the way students and adults interact in our classrooms and school culture. I a shared pur-

pose includes (as the GAV tagline indicates) to be a leader, make a diference, and get a voice,

educators can achieve alignment by:

making bulletin boards eaturing student-created posters that answer these questions: How

do we know we are being leaders? How do we know we are making a diference? How do we

know we are using our voices well?

using the content o the posters when praising or correcting students;

using common vocabulary and reerring to shared purpose when communicating with par-

ents;

making sure that inormal conversation is as consistent with the shared purpose as ormal

conversation;

incorporating the shared purpose and common vocabulary into curriculum writing, proes-sional learning experiences, mentoring, leading, planning, and other team processes.

Absent alignment, words and actions may not match. There may be posters that showcase di-

versity and respect, or example, but kids or adults may use prejudiced words and actions. 17This

disparity sends mixed messages. When an organization allows mixed messages to exist, its mem-

bers oten eel more isolated, less sae, less successul, less respected, and less connected.

Mixed messages oten provoke kids to behave in ways

that disrupt classrooms, which can hurt them and others.

For example, when adults use sarcasm, even without ill in-

tent, or rerain rom responding to disruptive comments,or simply spread rumors, these behaviors undermine the

stability o the organization. Neither o these outcomes

matches any idea o the shared purpose o school. Sometimes people deend words or actions

that contradict the poster messages by saying I was just kidding! Members o GAV classrooms

and schools respond by saying I youre just kidding, just stop.18

Words or actions are not unny i they can hurt someone else. I they can hurt someone else, they

do not match our shared purpose. I they do not match our shared purpose, we say or do some-

thing else.

Alignment is that simple.

Element 4: Power of a promise

Promises matter.19 Across our schools, some o the most consistent data revealed that when

adults and kids honor a promise, major shits happen. When we use our own voice to promise to

do something, and others hear us, we tend to take that promise more seriously. GAV classroom

and school community members all make the GAV Promise. Everyone does not have to make

the promise at the same time or on the same day; those who dont eel like making the promise

are permitted to wait. There is no pressure; it must eel right or that person. GAV educators have

ound that giving kids the reedom to consider the promise inspires them to take it more seri-

With the right words, you can

change the world.

E. B. White, Charlottes Web


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ously and empowers them to talk with their parents and riends about its signicance. There are

just three steps to making sure the promise has the greatest possible impact:

1. The instructional leader/administrator/principal makes the promise and invites aculty/staf/

adults in the GAV community to do the same.

2. Each person who agrees to make the GAV Promise says it individually out loud, not chorally,

in ront o their classmates, group, or community members. A student who needs support

rom a buddy or a teacher/staf member is encouraged to make the promise in the way thatis most comortable.

3. Each person who makes the GAV Promise signs their Promise Card, and the educator in that

group signs it as well. The cards can be collected to be displayed on a bulletin board.

Making a promise means giving ones word. The purpose

o the Promise Card is to teach kids that their words mat-

ter, that when they make a promise, they are giving their

word to do their best to choose their words with care. Just

as goals you write down, speak aloud, or make public are

much more likely to be achieved, the Promise Card serves

as a valuable reminder to those who make the promise to

ollow through on their word to be kind and choose posi-

tive words, even when they dont eel like it or dont like

something or someone. It helps students be mindul o the

act that there are ways o communicating that do not need

to be mean or unkind.

Element 5: Teamwork

Kids and adults alike, we all benet rom being part o a team that has a shared purpose, common

vocabulary, clearly dened roles or every member, core values/belies, and a deep respect or in-

dividual dreams and goals. GAV schools and classrooms encourage educators to consider schoolas a learning team and to collaborate with students to help them understand the roles that exist

or diferent members o the team.

The key to bullying is

contempta powerful feeling

of dislike toward somebody

considered to be worthless,

inferior, or undeserving ofrespect. Contempt allows kids

to harm each other without

feeling empathy, compassion,

shame.

Barbara Coloroso, The Bully, the

Bullied, and the Bystander


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Getting Started

Get.A.Voice is not a program with one sequence o practices over a specic time rame. Instead,

it is a curriculum ramework; educators use GAV to teach, counsel, discipline, and otherwise com-

municate with students and each other, and to help students connect with respect to themselves

and others within and beyond school.

Most typically, educators have implemented GAV in one or more o these ways:

Schoolwide or districtwide

In the classroom

By a aculty advisor, as a club that meets ater or during school

By a teacher, social worker, psychologist, in-school suspension supervisor, counselor, or ad-

ministrator using GAV practices in any non-instructional, school-related setting, without any

ormal plan involving other members o the school community

With each approach to implementation, GAV educators have started traditions, maintained rou-tines, and produced results that they could measure and report. Oten, educators start using GAV

at one entry point and nd that it spreads to other areas, as colleagues and kids discover that it is

easy to use, relevant, and efective.

Furthermore, GAV educators have worked with children who can-

not write, either because they are developmentally not at that

benchmark or because they are atypical or their developmental

stage. These educators have succeeded by having students create

drawings instead o words to develop rubrics illustrating how ev-

ery member o the school community can be helpul, not hurtul.

It is suggested that:

educators think big and start small, by using such strategies as

piloting GAV beore introducing it broadly;

educators and/or students introduce, sustain, and develop

ideas over time;

students have an active role in responding to educators and

to each other; and

educators and students ormally or inormally develop a

shared vision o communicating with kindness and respect.

The various approaches to implementation are described in greater detail in the sections thatollow.

GAV at a Glance

No matter what

the approach to

implementation, the

results are consistentlythe same: Kids and

adults observe less

hurtul behavior, more

helpul behavior, and

heightened sensitivity

to the power and

consequences o voices

and words.


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Implementing Get.A.Voice

Schoolwide or Districtwide

Every school and district may choose a somewhat dierent path. Get.A.Voice educators are most

successul by building a team to explore and recommend best steps to using GAV, and then

working with special teams to create details specic to such settings as classrooms, oces, locker

rooms, buses, playgrounds, athletic elds, hallways, and so on. Every member o a successul

team has a role on the team. A team members role is dened by his or her responsibility or ad-

vancing the shared purpose o the team.

These our steps are key:

1. Convene your school team.

Convene a team o eight to teen members o the school

community, including general and special education and

special area teachers, administrators, mental health pro-

essionals, non-instructional sta, coaches, and others.

Depending on the goals and roles o the team, it may or

may not include parents. The role o the core team is to

create an implementation plan (see page 19) and support the GAV coordinator in introducing

and operating the program.

2. Select your Get.A.Voice coordinator.

Select a coordinator who is a member o the school aculty, sta, or administration. The coordina-

tors role will be to help support the implementation plan, coordinate activities, and lead discus-

sions regarding GAV logistics, progress, impact, and other matters important to the members othe GAV team. In return, the team members support the coordinator in ullling his or her role.

3. Set your goals.

Establish group goals and norms, so that team members stay ocused on their shared purpose,

treat each other with respect and kindness, include every voice in the room, and otherwise mani-

est a positive team culture.

4. Create your implementation plan.

A powerul plan has the ollowing characteristics:

It outlines a compelling reason or intentional ocus or change.

It conveys a picture o the uture.

It presents a easible, i challenging, process.

It ocuses on what needs to be achieved.

It is fexible.

These questions can help the team get started:

What do we have right now that we want to keep?

If you dont name the specific

behavior you want changed, you

ineffectively communicate what

you believe and what you want.

Rosalind Wiseman,

Queen Bees and Wannabes


19/104


What do we have right now that we do not want?

How do we build on our individual and school strengths to close the gap between what we

have and where we want to go?

What is each persons role on the team?

What will everyone do and say to demonstrate mutual respect?

Creating a plan can take as little as one half-day to several meetings.


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GAV Worksheet: Implementing GAV Schoolwide or Districtwide Page 1 of 2

Get.A.Voice Implementation Plan

WHAT?

What is your schools or districts mission statement? ___________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

In looking at your schools social and emotional culture, what eforts are working that you want

to continue or grow?

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

What is not working that you want to change or shit? What would you want to see happen as a

result o bringing GAV into your school or district?

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

WHEN AND WHERE?

When is your projected start date? __________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

Which entry points in your school are most realistic to introduce GAV? (Grade level? Subject area?Pilot by grade? Other?)

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________


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GAV Worksheet: Implementing GAV Schoolwide or Districtwide Page 2 of 2

Get.A.Voice Implementation Plan

NOW WHAT?

What perceived obstacles or challenges must be overcome beore GAV can be a reality?

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

What are your strategies or thoughts in working through these obstacles? _________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

What other key players, who may not currently be on this planning team, would be instrumental

in this efort?

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

NEXT STEPS

Whats next? ____________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

How will you sustain and deepen the GAV tenets? _____________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________


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Launching the Get.A.Voice Project

You have your coordinator and core team; you have

agreed on your vocabulary and your plan; it is time to take

action and launch your Get.A.Voice Project.

One o the most efective ways to begin is to organize a

school assembly, schoolwide or by grade, to introducethe program to the students, aculty, and staf and to get

them thinking about why GAV is so important. Here are

just a ew examples o what you can do at an assembly:

Organize a panel presentation o older students (possibly even rom high school) to share

stories o their experiences as bystanders, targets, or bullies.

Have a student group or theater group perorm.

Have teachers create and act out role plays or studentsvery efective!

Invite outside speakers (e.g., athletes, ormer students, community role models) to share their

stories.

Have administrators make their promises, individually, at the assembly.

Invite members o the high school (role models, leaders, students with a message) to speak.

The sample script and ollow-up worksheet can be used or this assembly (see pages 2528).

In addition to the kickof assembly, there are a number o related things your core team can do to

help launch the program throughout the school:

Reach out to local businesses (e.g., a local ice-cream store that could sponsor a party or the

students who make the GAV Promise).

Approach your PTO/PTA or their involvement.

Organize an awards assembly or those kids using their voices at a midpoint in the school

year.

Arrange or student leaders to make presentations in the classrooms o younger students.

Initiate role-play skits with theater teacher and/or other teachers or students to present at

an assembly or in classrooms.

Create a morning announcement to be delivered by students on the PA system. At the end

o an announcement, students can deliver a positive message, such as, Be a leader, make a

diference, get a voice, or Its your choice to get a voice, or Make it a great day!

Organize a breakast or bus drivers, and acknowledge the bus with the best behavior, as de-

termined by the number o incidents reported.

Arrange a buddy system between older grade and younger grades where older students do

role plays with younger students about how to get a voice, etc.

If I could change one thing about

my time in junior high school, I

would have stood up to those

who were being mean to others.

Mick Foley, professional

wrestler, author, comedian, actor


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Other Initiatives

The implementation o GAV on a schoolwide scale requires a number o initiatives that will be

introduced throughout the school year. This section oers a look at how some schools have used

GAV to achieve their academic and behavioral student learning objectives.

Bulletin Board Headings

We Took the Promise

We Pledge to Make a Dierence

These Families Took the Get.A.Voice Family Promise

What Is Get.A.Voice?

I Stood Up or Someone Today! (Children can count instances o good character by writing,

without using names, what they did to stand up or someone.)

Spreading Kindness with Flower Words! (Create a garden o ower words, with a note that

when we pluck our weed words we spread more kindness!)

Meet Our Bus Drivers!

We Got a Voice and We Got It Together!

Look at Whom We Persuaded to Get.A.Voice!

Our TAs Are Terrifc!

Our Counselors Help Us Put It All Together!

We Got a Voice!

Get.A.Voice Gallery

Initiate a GAV Gallery where students display paintings and drawings they have created as a re-

sult o being involved with this project. Display GAV-related projects in the library, hallway, and

school newspaper; at schoolwide assemblies and school board meetings; and during recognitionrituals.

Voices of Respect Thermometer

A display in the main lobby can present a Voices o Respect Thermometer that measures: How

many times have we used our voices positively this day? This week? This month? This year?

How Do We Get.A.Voice? Ask These Kids!

Write the names o all the students in alphabetical order who made the promise this year. The col-

umns o student names add up, and kids love to see their names and those o their riends who

are also a part o the project. (One school wrote the names on the bulletin board in calligraphy!)

Snapshots from Schools

Elementary School:

We did tallies o teasing on the bus, in class, and in hallways to get data and document changes.

We videotaped our older students doing a presentation o why we are participating in

Get.A.Voice as a whole school, which we showed our frst-graders. Our principal was part o

that conversation.


24/104


We started talking about language, and how to use our voices to solve problems. We sur-

veyed students and interviewed teachers. We had to overcome being nervous about talking

in ront o a group.

Students reected in their journals: Advice rom Me to Mysel: Three things I need to tell my-

sel.

In social studies, we talked about how colonists got their voice.

We talked about how getting a voice takes time. Students shared what happened, when,

where, and the result. Good discussions ollowed about how change takes time and how be-

ing kind creates the community we want.

Our student leadership group created a GAV on the Bus video to illustrate the need or

change on the bus regarding bullying.

We created a show called Viewpoint, designed to change your point o view. We collected a

hundred stories, selected the top ten, and then based the show on three scenarios.

We had seventeen bus drivers make the promise.

We do PA announcements.

We value positive relationships by being aware o language.

We ocused on shiting rom blaming another to practicing reection in order to see our role

in our relationships with others.

Middle School:

We planned or several months because we wanted to involve the community rom the start.

We went to a sports marketing agency, and two ootball players rom a local team spoke at

our assembly. They also provided ty ree tickets to their games! Carvel provided an ice-

cream party or those kids who made the promise.

Teachers created videos, which they perormed or our student body. Our th- to- sixth-

grade video (ten minutes) ocused on lunch, playground, caeteria, and classroom scenarios;

our seventh- to eighth-grade video (teen minutes) ocused on bathroom, caeteria, and

classroom skits.

All advisories or homerooms were provided with discussion questions to introduce GAV into

their classroom. Our student peer leaders were also involved in this efort.

We organized several contests to raise awareness about bullying. The most popular was our

door-decorating campaign, in which every door was decorated with an anti-bullying theme.

Kids got more involved and were more creative and thought provoking than we ever ex-

pected.

Our art teacher had students do advertisements or their nal art grade or the year. We obtained permission or our students to plan and show a ten-minute PowerPoint presen-

tation to the Board o Education about how theyve been impacted by Get.A.Voice.


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School-Home Communication

Parents can be involved in GAV in many diferent ways. Here

are several suggestions that schools have used:

Encourage parents to make the Family Promise on Back

to School Night or ater school activities.

Recognize parents who make their promise. Invite a group o students to a PTA/PTO meeting to

share about GAV and why they believe it is important or

how their involvement in GAV has impacted them.

Honor students who participated in GAV and invite their

parents.

Have students do a presentation at a school board meet-

ing; or example, on a relevant service-learning project

or on how they used their voices to solve a problem.

Make use o parents knowledge or experience; or example, by inviting them to do a classpresentation or by interviewing a parent.

Sample Letter to Parent/Guardian to Introduce Get.A.Voice

Dear Parent/Guardian:

This year our school will be participating in a program called the Get.A.Voice

Project. Get.A.Voice was selected by our school because it ocuses on developing a

positive social and emotional culture in a school and aligns with the Common Core

State Standards by bringing awareness to the power o words.

We are very excited about the potential o this project, and we will be planning

various activities that promote respect, caring, courage, and responsibility. I

you are interested in participating personally and would like to be among other

amilies who support this efort, please consider making the Get.A.Voice Family

Promise when you are contacted.

Also, please take this opportunity to talk with your child about the power o words.

We all know that words can inspire and make one eel good, just as they can

demean and make one eel bad, even when spoken by someone who may be just

kidding. Remember, there is no one more efective in teaching and reinorcing

positive behaviors and ideas than you!

Thank you or your support in helping our school develop an appropriate social

and learning climate or all our students.

Sincerely,

Principal/ Assistant Principal

GAV School Coordinator

It is important for families,

schools, and other community

institutions to help children and

young adolescents learn how tomanage, and potentially change,

the pressure to hurt their

classmates in order to fit in.

Dorothy Espelage,

Bullying in Early Adolescence: The Role

of the Peer Group


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Individually Making the Promise: Faculty and Staff

Having all aculty and sta make the promise might be one o the most important aspects o

launching the GAV program and making it a success. Hearing ones own voice aloud creates a

sense o shared purpose and commitment. Once aculty and sta members have each spoken

the words, signing their names creates a urther intention that they will do their best to carry out

their promise. It is important to make the promise individually in ront o the students because

it shows how serious you are.

The ideal time to do this is right ater the kicko assembly.

I possible, all sta members should plan time to make the

promise immediately ollowing the assembly. It is advanta-

geous or classroom teachers to invite those who do not

have their own classrooms (e.g., guidance counselors, so-

cial workers, secretaries, lunch sta, bus drivers, and custo-

dians) to make the promise in their classrooms in ront o

students. It is urther suggested that guidance counselors

or social workers visit each o the classrooms, speaking a common language to explain GAV in

more detail at the time they make the promise. It may take a ew days to get to each classroom,but it is essential to communicate the same message (the purpose o GAV and your schools

shared goal) using a common language. In middle schools, the entry point or these visits may

vary; or example, all English classes or health classes.

Each student in the class will also have the opportunity to make the promise during the class-

room visits. Though it is strongly encouraged that students make the promise individually, a stu-

dent may be unable to do this. You can provide a sae mechanism or that students comort. For

example, some may beneft rom the support o saying the words with a buddy or with an adult

but apart rom the group.

The implementation o GAV is eectively accomplished on a schoolwide level and in each o the

classrooms. Ideally, sta and aculty must at all times enact the promise they made at the kicko

event. There are also schoolwide initiatives and activities, described in the preceding sections,

that unction to bring the school together or a common cause and to keep the entire school

community ocused on its goal.

Sample Script for Kickoff Assembly

This script was written and delivered to an audience o fth-graders20 but can be adapted to any

age level. Italic type signals the speaker to emphasize the words; ellipses () signal pauses or

eect.

Hello (name of school)!Id like you to close your eyes and raise your hand if you have ever seen or heard someone

get teasedor put down or made un o in school. (Closing their eyes helps students respond

honestly, without ear o what others would think or say. Very quickly, this exercise shows

students that they are not alone. You know your students best. Determine the best way to

do this with your school.)

Now open your eyes and look around.

Youre entitled to hate. Youre

not entitled to hurt.Morris Dees,

Co-Founder and Counsel,

Southern Poverty Law Center


27/104


Close your eyes again and this time, raise your hand if you have ever been teased or had

a friend gossip about you or talk about you behind your back. Now open your eyes and

look around.

Close your eyes one last time and raise your hand if you have ever watched someone

being made fun of or put down and didnt say anything or walked awaybecause you didnt

know what to say or didnt want to get involved. Open your eyes and look around.

Do you know what the number one worry is among kids ages nine to fourteen in school

today? The fearo being made un o.

How many know the nursery rhyme that starts Sticks and stones may break my bones?

Complete it with me.

Do you believe that? Do you believe that words dont hurt? (Ask three students or

responses.)

Lets see; have you ever been called Shortybecause somebody decided you were too short?

Or have your friends joked around by calling you fat and made you feel worthless?

Maybe one day you dropped your books in the caeteria or you missed a basketball shotand kids started calling you a loser!

(Ater each o the ollowing, allow a ew seconds or response.)

Nod i youve ever heard kids make un o someone because o the way they dress

or what they look like

or because theyre too smart

or they read slowerthan you

or you were made to feel left outwhile kids were playing during recess

or you werent invitedto a party

or someone spread a rumorabout you that wasnt true

or you were called a crybabywhen your dog died

or someone called you the B-word.

Maybe someones been making un o your name ever since kindergarten, and you eel like

youll never live down that nickname until you graduate rom high school!

Maybe you were telling a riend about a TV show you thought was cool and he responded

with, You watch that? That show is so gay! What do kids mean by that anyway? (Responses

might include weird, stupid, disgusting, etc.)

Words can make you eel really good. And words can make you eel really bad.

Has anyone heard o the Get.A.Voice Project? The GAV Project empowers students like you

to stand up and make a diference by using their voices respectully.

That takes courage.

One thing we know is that students oten dont want to stand up because what might

happen?


28/104


(Encourage students to call out responses.)

A second thing we know is that i you are there and you dont say anything, youre a

bystander.

Have you heard o that word? That is when you watch something happen and you dont do

anything, such as get help.

You and your riends can make a huge diference in someones lie simply by being anupstander, by speaking up.

Maybe its a th-grader sticking up or a ourth-grader. (Insert appropriate grade levels.)

Maybe there are some kids on the bus, and an older student wont let them sit with him,

and two o you say, Hey! Thats so not cool. Let them sit there.

You and your riends can have an amazing impact on a riend, or even on someone you

dont really know, by what you say.

We recognize this is very hard to do. It is important to know that we are not asking you to

do this alone. We are asking you to do this with a couple o riends so you can help each

other. Think o yourselves as being part o a team in your classroom and your school.

When you go back to your classrooms, your teachers will talk with you about the

Get.A.Voice Project. I you choose to be involved, you will be asked to make a promise.

That promise is to be more aware o your language and to do your best to stand up and

say something when you hear one person making un o another or putting someone

down or being inappropriate.

Its about being leaders in making a diference and using a positive voice.

Your teachers will share Power Cards and stickers with you, and apostcard will even be sent

home to recognize your good decision-making and leadership abilities.

Your teachers work very hard not only to teach you but also to make (name o school) aschool where each and every one o you eels sae, cared about, and like you belongjust

the way you are. No matter what you look like, no matter i you have one riend or ten

riends, no matter i you are good in sports or good in science, no matter whether you wear

brand labels or not.

The adults in your school challenge you to think beore you speak, to use your voice

respectully, to stick up or yoursel or someone else, and to nd ways to be a leader, make

a diference, and get a voice!


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GAV Worksheet: Launching the Get.A.Voice Project

Name: _____________________________________ __________________ Date: _____________

Kickoff Assembly Follow-Up

What did you like best about the assembly? Why was that your favorite part?

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

What does it mean to you to get a voice?

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

Do you think students are aware of how powerful their words can be? Yes No

If there were a Get.A.Voice club at school, would you join? Yes No

If so, what activities or events would you like a Get.A.Voice club to focus on this year?

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

Please share any other comments or thoughts:

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________


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Implementing Get.A.Voice in the Classroom

Implementing Get.A.Voice at the classroom level is simply a matter o aligning classroom rou-

tines with the way educators want students to listen, speak, and otherwise communicate with all

those present.

Educators introduce the GAV approach by simply asking

students (1) to agree as a group that it is right to communi-

cate in ways that help instead o hurt each other and (2) to

make the GAV Promise individually. Educators and sta also

make the promise individually, not as a group. Students are

encouraged to make the promise, but are not required to

do so until they are ready.

GAV educators embrace classroom management as the

best system to help students be more helpul and less hurt-

ul. A classroom management system includes establishingclear rules and procedures or

entering the classroom;

putting away backpacks and other material so the oor is clear;

immediately engaging academically;

helping a teacher monitor and assess student learning and other behavior;

organizing seating so students connect with each other and adults can easily reach any stu-

dent;

asking and answering questions, sharing thoughts, etc.; participating;

assigning and completing independent and interdependent work;

setting and ollowing basic rules o conduct;

establishing student seating or specifc learning purposes.22

Educators have strengthened classroom management with GAV in these three ways:

1. Creating, agreeing on, and posting a respect rubric. For example:23

What Are We Doing? What Are We Saying? What Are We Feeling?

Waing turns Take another minute, and

then Ill go.

Respected

Asking for help Excuse me. Can I have help

on this?

Comfortable (not anxious)

Leng one person speak at a

me

Thanks for waing unl Jose

has nished sharing.

Cared about

The world of work is becoming

increasingly more complex. If

we do not teach kids to use

their voices respectfully now

then they will grow up and find

themselves ill-equipped for the

workplace. Get.A.Voice puts the

concept of emotional intelligence

into action.

Maria Seddio,

President, CORP Talk


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Replacing sarcasm with posi-

ve humor

Somehow I dont think you

really meant to say that!

Included

Listening unl someone com-

pletes a sentence

I will wait unl youre done,

even if I really want to talk!

Important

Having a dierent opinion I see her point, but I dis-

agree because

Valued

Helping a peer Do you want me to show

you?

Connected

Working interdependently We can work with each

other even when we might

not feel like it.

Treated fairly

2. Building GAV concepts into praising and correcting students. For example:

Thank you or waiting until Tyrese was fnished speaking. That makes everyone eel respect-

ed! We only say things that help us all learn well and stay sae here. Is making un o someone

who makes a mistake helping or hurting us?

3. Building GAV concepts into how students express themselves in class, either to each other or

to adults. For example:

Helping students practice using phrases and behaviors in the respect rubric;

I consistent with your school or departmental policy, giving a classroom participation grade

based in part on how students use the respect rubric.

By building GAV into your classroom management, you can empower even the most discon-

nected kids or adults to enjoy a sense o academic success, a sense o connectedness, and a sense

o personal well-being.


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Get.A.Voice Kindness Challenges

It is oten more challenging or children to be kind than it is to be mean. Creating and maintain-

ing an intentional culture o kindness requires practice. Kindness challenges encourage students

to muster their best selves to notice, not ignore, the environment and others around them.

The GAV ve-day kindness challenge is designed to ollow the kickof. It is intended to help stu-

dents develop awareness o language and begin practicing intentional kindness, and to docu-ment the individual and collective results o the challenge or teachers, staf, and students.

Each day o the challenge will begin with an inormative announcement, such as:

WelcometoDay1ofourGet.A.VoiceKindnessChallenge!Doyouknowthatittakes

37musclestofrownand22tosmile!Makesomeonesmiletoday;itconservesenergy!

Thinkaboutwhatyoucansaytomakesomeonesday!

Bealeader!Makeadierence!Getavoice!

It can be made over the intercom system as part o the schools general morning announce-

ments, and end with motivational words, such as the GAV tagline: Be a leader, make a diference,

get a voice.

It is a good idea to talk with students about the types o language they should be listening or

during the challenge. This is especially important because children oten dismiss truly hurtul

comments made by riends. Is what they are hearing kind/helpul or mean/hurtul, even i the

person purports to be just kidding? Discuss the Day 1 examples in the chart below, and brain-

storm other examples with students prior to beginning. Create your own chart or use the work-

sheet on page 33. Make copies or your students to ll out and track or ve days.

Five-Day Kindness Challenge Tally

DAY WHAT I HEARD

IT WAS

KIND/HELPFUL

IT WAS

MEAN/HURTFUL

Day 1OMG! Did you see those pants shes wearing?

They are so disgusting. What was she thinking? X

You totally rock! Thanks for explaining that to me.

Im so glad youre my science partner. X

You guys, tell him to say it again. Watch him stutter;its soooo funny! X

Consider these other kindness challenges or create your own, whether schoolwide, by grade

level, or in your own classroom.

Challenge 1:Use these power phrases to speak up and be a voice or someone. (Grades 38)

Language!

What do you really mean by that?


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Saying stu like that just makes people eel bad.

Whats up with that? Thats so not unny!

Youre such a good kid, but thats so not cool.

Why do you have to be so mean?

Thats called gossip. And I dont gossip (anymore).

And your point is?

Thats your opinion and that doesnt make it true.

We dont talk like that around here.

Challenge 2: Invite a kid who is alone to sit or play with you and your riends.

Challenge 3: Keep a tally o how many times you say, Just kidding.

Challenge 4: Give a compliment to someone youre not riends with.

At the end o these challenges, students can be recognized or their eorts. You can hold an

assembly or a classroom event and have the students reect on the past week and how theygot a voice. Each student who successully completed a challenge can receive a small prize and

recognition. Schools can reach out to their communities and solicit git cards to appropriate lo-

cal businesses, or fnd another way to recognize the students. Have recipients mentioned over

the announcements as well. Create a bulletin board labeled: We Met the Challenge at [Name o

School] and put each participants name on it.


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GAV Worksheet: GAV Kindness Challenges Page 1 of 2

Name: _______________________________________ Dates: ___________________________

GAV Five-Day Kindness Challenge

Ready to take a challenge? How oten do you hear your riends and classmates say somethingabout you or someone else that is inspiring, helpul, and nice? How oten do you hear your riends

and classmates say something about you or someone else that is mean, hurtul, or embarrassing?

For the next fve days, notice what you are hearing and record your data on this chart. Record

three comments each day.

DAY WHAT I HEARDIT WAS

KIND/HELPFUL

IT WAS

MEAN/HURTFUL

1

2

3

4

5

Number of Comments / %


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GAV Worksheet: GAV Kindness Challenges Page 2 of 2

GAV Five-Day Kindness Challenge

Write down the comment you found most kind or helpful, and tell why you chose that comment.

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

Write down the comment you found most mean or hurtful, and tell why you chose that comment.

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________

How many comments did you record? ______________________

How many were positive? ________________________________

How many were negative? _______________________________


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Friendship Friday

Friendship Friday is a GAV program that helps participantsboth students and educatorscel-

ebrate each other and share the positive things they notice about the people they spend their

days with.21

The ollowing script is very useul to introduce and launch Friendship Friday:

How oten do you hear kids say things to each other that are not so nice? Every so oten or, like,all the time?(Kids largely say All the time!) It actually eels weird or some o you to compli-

ment a riend without being kind o mean, right?

Friendship Friday is about mustering our best selves to make someone eel really good.

Wouldnt it eel a lot better i I were to say to you, Jack, your drawing looks so realistic! than i

I were to say, Jack, thats looking good i youre drawing a hippo!

We recognize how uncomortable it sometimes is or students to pay riends a compliment or

even just to say something nice to them. Friendship Friday helps us celebrate someone in our

class by making that persons heart grow. Lets be real. The bottom line is, no matter how good

an athlete you are, no matter how many riends you have, no matter how smart you are, no

matter where you live or what you look like, everyone, i given a choice, wants to ft in, belong,

and be accepted. Do you agree?

Introduce the ollowing chart to the students to ll out as a class. One row has been completed

as an example:

What does a compliment

look like?


sound like?


feel like?

When the person says it, they

are looking at me and it lookslike they mean it. Theyre not

snickering like its a joke.

Youre a really good goalie! It feels great, like someone

noticed something about me!

Once students have considered the three questions above, the answers to these next two ques-

tions might become clearer:

1. Is it easier to give a compliment or to receive a compliment?

2. Why do you think this is?

Take the time to discuss the answers to these questions with your students.

Writing Friendship Friday Notes

Facilitate the activity so that the routine or starting, writing, delivering, and sharing proceeds

fuidly.

Have a bowl lled and ready to go with blank Friendship Friday notes (see page 38).

Remind students that Friendship Friday is about mustering their best selves to make some-

ones day.

Pass out the Friendship Friday notes. Have students write their name on the top line and then


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old their note. Collect all notes in the bowl. (Instruct them not to write anything else except

their name on the top line.)

Go around to each student and let each pick out a note. The

student writes to the person whose name is at the top o the

note.

Remind students: You want to really notice one thing about

that person. Is the person in another class o yours? Are youon the same team? Is this person in the class play? Maybe you

know that this person does a sport or an activity ater school?

Or maybe they made a great play in gym? What can you no-

tice about that person? What do you have in common? What

might you be able to say to that person?

Have the students deliver their notes to the person they wrote to.

Within the limits o available time, have a ew students share the notes they received.

These notes are theirs to keep, but consider starting a Friendship Friday bulletin board where

students can choose to display them.

Ground Rules for Friendship Friday

These ground rules can help the activity run smoothly and eectively:

1. Picking a name out o the bowl: When you pick someones name out o the bowl, there are

no sound eects allowed. (Ask students to tell you what they think you mean by that; or

example, no sounds, groans, hung, etc. that show you dont want to write to that person.

That is not what Friendship Friday is about!) Also, dont call out the name you got. (Whats the

point o doing that anyway?)

2. When writing notes:

Be authentic. What have you noticed or observed about the person? Are you in another class

together? Are you on the same team? Do you remember something good rom another

grade? Consider what you might read about yoursel that would make you eel good.

Be specifc. What is one thing you can say to the person? You want to go beyond nice sneak-

ers. It is about the inside o the persontheir personality, their talent, how they made you

eel, something good they did, how they helped their team. I you dont know the person,

even better. Its a great way to get to know someone. Its okay to be honest and say, I dont

really know you, but you seem to be

Be real. I it includes just kidding, dont write it.

These real examples can help students get the concept:Julia, youre really good at writing pieces in English and youre really smart. Justin

Chris, I like your strong opinion on bullying! Sarah

Kevin, you are a good friend and you have a good personality. Sean

Ethan, youre funny and a good friend to everyone. Dominique

Cydney, you are really pretty and I know very good at gymnastics!! xoxo Michele

Isabella, I love how youre not afraid to be you. Caitlyn

GAV at a Glance

Friendship Friday is

about noticing and

writing one specifc

thing about someone

that is true, real, and

makes that person eel

good.


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Melanie, you are really talented and a good singer. You did great in the play! Brittany

Jack, I really wish I could have seen you swim! Join the swim team. Youll be great! Emily

Mark, your personality makes a room shine. You are super nice and kind! Stephen

Alex, I dont really know you but you seem really smart and are good at art. Ashley

Dylan, youre a really awesome person and its cool how you go with the fow. Justin

3. If students ask, Do we have to sign our names? you can answer, If you really feel good aboutwhat you wrote and you can make someones day, why wouldnt you want someone to know

you wrote it? And if you dont want to sign your name, you might think about what it is you

wrote that makes you not want to attach your name to it. So yes, signing your name is neces-

sary. People want to know who wrote to them.

4. After delivering Friendship Friday notes, ask students to give a thumbs-up if someones note

just made their heart grow or made their day.

5. During sharing, enforce the one-voice rule. Many kids may want to talk, laugh, and share with

each other, but allowing each student their moment is important to this process, both for the

one sharing and the one who wrote the note.


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FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY!Were spreading messages of friendship and caring.

Here is a message for you!

(your name)

Make someones heart grow todaySigned,

2012 AconWorks, Inc.


GAV Worksheet: Friendship Friday

FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY!Were spreading messages of friendship and caring.


(your name)




FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY!

Were spreading messages of friendship and caring.


(your name)


FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY!

Were spreading messages of friendship and caring.


(your name)



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Implementing Get.A.Voice as a Club

A Get.A.Voice club is an eective way o engaging educators and kids in creating a project that

is rewarding to the participants and succeeds in connecting with other kids, educators, parents,

and others throughout the year.

Club members can plan and implement service-learning projects, create and perorm theatrical

productions, conduct surveys and campaigns to help fght social cruelty and support diversity,

and do graphic-arts campaigns to demonstrate how images can have as much power as words in

helping all students eel sae and welcome at school and elsewhere.

They can use data, brainstorming, opinions, eelings, and inclusive respectul discussion prac-

tices to fnd common ground among their varied interests and to create a plan that helps them

concentrate on one theme and one project or the school year. It is traditional or the club advisor

to maintain the role o coach, with students using their voices to negotiate how and when to do

what project.

For example, in one club, members decided to create, implement,

report, and use the data gathered rom a survey regarding riend-

ships in the middle school. They wanted to learn how students

defned, pursued, and experienced riendship, and where bully-

ing or social cruelty ft into riendship, i at all. With the support o

their advisor and a mathematics teacher strong in statistics, the

students collaboratively researched and then created their own

survey. Ater the entire grade level took the survey anonymously,

the GAV club members gathered the data, organized it into a pre-

sentation supported by slides on PowerPoint, and presented the data to health classes. Since

every student was enrolled in at least one health class,this eectively ensured that all students would learn the

results and be invited to consider how to use words and

tone with respect and purpose.

Other examples o GAV successes include students who

took a leadership role in participating in their schools

assemblies and town meetings; did a content analysis

o bias, stereotypes, and destructive or positive images

in teen magazines; and created PSAs (public service an-

nouncements) about bullying on the bus.

Club Meetings

To start a GAV club:

distribute club applications to seek interested students (see page 41);

choose a theme and a project or the year;

meet weekly ater school over the course o the school year, with occasional supplemental

meetings conducted, i necessary, during student lunch periods.

GAV at a Glance

Visit www.getavoice.

com to fnd out how

to start your own

Get.A.Voice Club. You

can even download a

club application!

I want to see people be nicer

and not tease people for having

braces or pimples or by what

they wear. My best friend was

a bully and was always mean to

people. I see that much more

clearly now.

Gina, age 13


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Open club meetings by asking, What is new and good? to create a spirit o sharing that ocuses

on positive happenings. This part o the meeting can easily turn into a lively chat and take the

ocus away rom its intended purpose, so it is suggested to keep to the guideline that one voice

shares at a time. This can take practice, but it is important so that each member is spotlighted,

and eels supported and important.

Students who are having a bad day or just had a chal-

lenge thrown at them may respond Nothing! whenasked whats new or good. It is important to help students

nd at least

Documents

GAV Leaders Guide