Gaining a Voice at the Table:

Skills for Youth (What Teachers Can Do)

.

Patti Hackett, M.Ed.

Blazing a Trail with TransitionTX Transition Conference, Austin, TX 2009

No-one said this is going to be easy

Success is to be measured

not so much by the position

one has reached in life

as by the obstacles

which have been overcome

while trying to succeed.

Booker T. Washington

Thanks + Who & why we are here!

• KUDOS: Jeanne Patrick and her able committee!!

• About ME: born a teacher, low income, blunt, Union Steward, creative, humorous!

• About YOU: Meeting your expectations

• Experts in the Room

O V E R V I E W

Changing Perspectives

• What we do FOR students vs what we want FROM them

Problem Solving Skills Takes Practice• Problem Solving Memo• Negotiation and Timing for YES

Leadership by Example• Success models success• Mistakes are learning lessons too!

Hmmmm…….

Reactions?

Discussion

First thoughts?

Time

Jan 2004

Societal Context for Youth without Medical Conditions in Transition

• Parents are more involved - dependency “Helicopter Parents” …Blackhawk types…(CBS 2007)

• Twixters = 18-29 - live with their parents / not independent - cultural shift in Western households - when members of the nuclear family become adults, are expected to become independent

• How they describe themselves (ages 18-29) 61% an adult 29% entering adulthood 10% not there yet

(Time Poll, 2004)

Increasing Opportunities

for Youth Involvement

Changing Attitudes

ADMINISTRATION – Policies & Practices

STAFF – Automatic Inclusion

FAMILY – Changing Roles (Passing the Torch)

NATIONAL – Policy & Practices

Youth have something to say – are we listening?

Increasing Opportunities

for Youth Involvement

Learn by Doing!

SCHOOL – FERPA, IEPs, 504 plans

HEALTH – Daily Care, Treatment Plans

LIFE – Responsibilities in the family

LEADERSHIP – Policy & Practices

Youth have something to say – are we listening?

The “Invite” is the 2nd Step: Acquiring Skills is the 1st Step

Knowledge & Info

Communication with confidence

Negotiation & Compromise

Gaining a Voice

Mentors – Peers/ Youth Leaders

Mentors – Adult Allies

Coach – Improving skills & knowledge

Allies (within the system)

O V E R V I E W Changing Perspectives

• What we do FOR students vs what we want FROM them

Problem Solving Skills Takes Practice• Problem Solving Memo• Negotiation and Timing for YES

Leadership by Example• Success models success• Mistakes are learning lessons too!

Problem:

Level

My Action to solve it:__ Talked to the person__ Tried ignoring it – or – the person__ Asked a friend to help__ I’m stuck I need help

I need to__ Talk to you (for ideas)__ Ask you to be a mediator__ Bring this to Family Class Mtg

Gaining Confidence

Problem Solving Memo

What is the issue?

What have you done to solve the problem?

What level of support is needed?

Your idea to solve the problem

Learning to See Other Viewpoints

Art of Negotiation

Anger into Action

Staying Cool (relaxation exercises & power words – vex)

What’s in it for “them”?

Going for the “win-win”

O V E R V I E W Changing Perspectives

• What we do FOR students vs what we want FROM them

Problem Solving Skills Takes Practice• Problem Solving Memo• Negotiation and Timing for YES

Leadership by Example• Success models success• Mistakes are learning lessons too!

What would

you do

if you thought

you could not

fail?

HANDOUTS

Improving Communication: Action & Results

Transition Top 10 List

Tips – Gaining a Voice at the Table

SUCCESS AT SCHOOL INVOLVES YOU School Meetings: Your Role in Making Them Work

Resiliency = No SOFT landings

Experience rejection/disappointment! Practice conversation beyond NO

Allow the experience if not harmful, bruised egos are ok

If given the same circumstances what would you do differently?

“No” is not because of YOU

"No" response - limited vision, or negative past experience.

"No" is just the 1st answer - get

more info or justification why they should say yes-

Who has the authority to say YES.

Timing means everything

People tend to say YES when they can have time to process the facts and contribute to the solution.

And they have the power to change policy

Not too many people enjoy being told what to do, especially when its their job.

FUNDING requires approval, findout when the budget year starts.

1st quarter more likely to say yes

2nd quarter - guard their money

3rd quarter -project spent down in

4th quarter - spent down or give back

Seasons for YES (approval)

Be Personal

Treat others like you want to be treated. Be sincere

Call people by name, try to remember

something about them and bring it into the conversation.

No matter how tough the situation is try not to take or make it personal.

Find Something Positive to Say

At the meeting agree about something (weather, room temp, baseball, etc.)

Follow-up with a short positive note. May need to reconsider and sell idea a different way, or figure an option for comprise.

Closing tone - thank-you for time, expertise, willingness to consider, etc.

It’s Not Working - Need to Regroup

Situation more like war - send in another messenger.

Sometimes it’s just bad chemistry

Identify from your group or who on the inside can keep the conversation going.

Remember it’s not about YOU, its about resolving the problem

Being Honest

Ok, sometimes in the heat of the problem, things are said or done that should not have been.

As soon as your ego allows, face the issue and apologize.

You will have more respect for yourself and others will too.

Up the Ladder to the Key Decision Maker

Are you talking to a person who has the authority to say yes?

If and when you need a new direction for the conversation, ask for the boss.

The "front" person is doing what is instructed – find who has the power to change the “no” to a “yes”.

Reassess You have tried everything - getting

dead-ends (you reached out to those you know, sent emails to outside your circle, have researched the issue and solution via the internet)

Look at the situation again.

The original idea did not work out - the next idea maybe the winner.

 

Surround Yourself with Positive People

Being a “Change Agent” takes time and energy.

Feelings may be bruised, and hearing “no” gets discouraging.

Creative thinkers help with other options -- encourage the dialogue until the problem is resolved

Leadership Level

Presentations (community, state, national)

Policy Level (community, state, national)

Compensation

This bottle of Natural Spring Water

is provided as a service for our guest.

If consumed, $5.25 will be billed to your room.

Ad appeared in Washington Post, September 6, 2005

Delta Dental Insurance

It’s better to do one thing and do it well.

Subject: Need to pull offense ad!!

Dear Director of Media for DDI I was SHOCKED by your ad for your company/service that appeared in the Washington Post today -- while I am sure the intention was to be clever and try to promote your agency's essence line "It's better to do one thing and do it well"...it was OFFENSIVE and INSENSITIVE to see this visual in the ad - a sign reading "Tropical Fish and Grief Counseling"

In light of the flooding issues post Hurricane Katrina and the enormous sadness and tragedy -- this particular ad is certainly not what your company is about is it? -- insensitive, offensive and almost mockery about the current circumstances.

Please pull it immediately.

Patti Hackett, Rockville, MD

Dear Ms. Hackett: To be perfectly candid, we did not consider this ad in the light of recent events. As you might imagine, it was created and put into the "rotation" long before the hurricane. I will pass along your opinion to the advertising department so that they can consider your view, and determine if enough others might share it. XXXX | Director, Public AffairsDelta Dental of CA, NY, PA & Affiliates

Dear Dr. Hackett,

We at Delta Dental have been so

involved in pulling our advertising

from the areas stricken by Hurricane

Katrina, and sending funding and

bottled water to the area to help the

victims, that we didn't think of the

insensitivity that could be construed

from one of our ads running elsewhere

in the country.

We agree with you that this ad should

not be used at this time, and

appreciate the reminder to replace it

with another of our ads.

Thank you for taking the time to write

to us.

Sincerely,

XXX, Director

Corporate Communications

typical bureaucratic thing- cover

and duck and not admit error like

the other email better -- no?

natch it was from a woman

p

Nothing bureaucratic about reading an

e-mail, considering its content, then

taking action. You requested

something, we agreed with you, and

the ad is now pulled.

What more could you want?

Have a nice day and know you made a

positive difference.

-Jeff

What bugs YOU?

Have you raised your voice, offered a solution?

Positive Power for Change! 2 Rules

1. What are you going to do about it? “If you are not part of the solution than you are part of

the problem.”

2. What have you got to lose? Personal risk “Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.”      “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try

sometimes, you might find, you get what you need.”     

     

Patti Hackett, MEd

pattihackett@hrtw.org

pattihackett@yahoo.com