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GAB! is a spoof gossip magazine for the small town of Bryn Athyn, PA.
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HOT TIP?!
FALL TRENDS!EXCLUSIVE COVERAGE OF THIS SEASON’S MOST FABULOUS WEDDINGS!
HERE COME THE
BRIDES!
October 10, 2009ISSUE 2
SECRETS OF THE HOME!
Y E A R L Y
2 October 10, 2009
KRISTIN LINDSAY Dior was the designer of choice for this rising star, who sparkled on the red carpet alongside her BF, screenwriter Derek Rose.
HANNAH LERMITTEThis sleek AKRIS punto brought a touch of Grecian charm to her nude Christian Louboutins.
DEREK ROSE Kristin’s BF
SASHA HENDERSON The celeb arrived in a bold magenta Gucci pencil dress paired with Manolo Blahnik shoes worth $765!
GAB ! 3
GIRLS NIGHT OUT!
GLAMOUR GIRLS ON THE RED CARPET!
From sleek and sultry
to short and
sassy, glamorous
women of Bryn
Athyn strutted their
stuff at last Saturday’s
exclusive evening event. An
invite only affair, A-list ladies
gathered for an elaborately
planned event catered by Sutton,
Rose and Co. The theme was
enviro-minimalist. The menu
featured water and breath mints,
and all proceeds from the event
went to support a greener earth!
The $11.72 raised during the 20
minute party was donated to
help print GAB! Magazine on
recycled paper. GAB! projects
that by 2032 sufficient funds will
be raised to begin the transition
to post-consumer stock.
DANIELLE ORTHWEINA striking red Halston dress trimmed with a bow set the perfect backdrop for Danielle's 60 carats of Kwiat necklace — worth over $1 million!
SPRING SILVERMANThe star's bronzed gold bracelet by Neil Lane ($175,000!) and Raven Kauffman Couture clutch ($1,200) brought out the best in her sweeping white Vera Wang.
4 October 10, 2009
“I GIVE THIS WING...”
ALL THE SINGLE LADIES!
Producer Garrett Nash and French billionaire Fauve Bouchard wed July 17 in a romantic ceremony in Bryn Athyn Cathedral. GAB! has the inside look into the couple’s intimate nuptials.
Fauve wore a simple, elegant white strapless gown and carried a bouquet of white and yellow roses and some other type of undisclosed blue flowers in a ceremony that included singing, a processional and a recessional.
Before the blushing bride said “I do” in French, she reportedly shed a few tears in front of their 300 guests, which included the groom’s father and mother, David and Marty Nash, sister Angela Nash Bau-Madsen married to Darren, and their daughter Fiona (2), brother Scott with his wife Abbey and daughters Caitlyn (3) and Charlotte (1), and older brother Brent with wife Laura and son Colin (2).
Fauve’s family travelled from Paris to attend the spectacular affair. Her mother Tracy, father Paul, brother Quenten and sister Genevieve with her daughter Addison (4) all made the trip.
Garrett’s mother said, “I thought Fauve was a beautiful bride. The whole wedding was a whirlwind. Usually the bride feels that way, but I did!”
The exclusive reception was held at the Grand Pavilion from 7 pm to 1 am. The decor was over the top with 10,000 roses covering the dance floor, and an 8-tier, 10-foot wedding cake. The photo-booth proved scandalous when some late-night party-goers forgot to take their photos with them.
GARRETT WEDS!
Nicole and Archibald coordinated their outfits perfectly!
The party went late into the night. After some point, people lost the ability to make normal faces.
Michael Cera: “People tell me all the time how much I look like Garrett Nash.”
GAB ! 5
HOT MAMA! (of the groom)
GARRETT WEDS!
Looks like she’s going to be a great mother!
Wake up, Fiona, someone wants to dance!
Jerre made the cake and ate it too!
Marty looks divine in a vibrant blue V-neck gown by Valentino.
Two-year-old Fiona is BFFs with Violet Affleck and Suri Cruise.
You tell us: who’s next to get hitched?
6 October 10, 2009
THE BEAUTIFUL
BRIDE
BEAUTIFUL BRIDAL BLINGby Fred Leighton
DRAMATIC ENTRANCE A guest leaked the location of the wedding to the press. There were so many paparazzi that the bride and groom had to sneak into the estate from the back!
Bridesmaid and sister Nina and bridesmaid Kelly Horigan.
Sister-in-law Aurelle with her daughter Aria.
GAB ! 7
Teryn Genzlinger and Derek Glunz are finally husband and wife, a rep for the stars
confirmed to GAB! last week.Teryn and Derek joined
hands in marriage during a late afternoon ceremony at Bryn Athyn Cathedral on August 9. Rev. Chuck Blair served as officiant in front of a crowd of 200 family and friends.
The bride wore a vintage-inspired silk dress perfectly accented by a 40K canary yellow diamond on a pearl necklace. She was overcome with emotion during the ceremony.
Afterward, everyone joined the couple for an intimate reception at Cairnwood Estate.
Guests gorged themselves at a smashed potato martini bar then followed kid-brother Cody Glunz’s lead as he tore it up on the dance floor.
The newlyweds enjoyed an intimate honeymoon on the island of St. Lucia.
TERYN TIES THE KNOT!“I’M MARRYING MY BEST FRIEND.”
“Best wedding ever!” say Teryn’s longtime friends Kelleen Schauder and Celestyn Alpers.
CLOSE CALL The wedding planner told GAB! she noticed a typo when she went to pick up the cake. “Instead of ‘LOVE’ it said ‘VOLE.’ Derek hates small rodents, so we got them to fix it right away.”
Derek’s sister and bridesmaid Emily Hasen with husband Darryl.
Sparks fly between brother Lane and Simma Rosner as they send off the newlyweds.
8 October 10, 2009
WOODSY SETTING All guests were invited to stay
the weekend at the Kingsley
Pines camp ground and enjoyed
hiking, canoeing, tennis and
campfires.
BLUSHING BRIDE! That blush is 100% natural!
JUST MARRIED! Congrats to the
happy couple!
INCOMING BRIDE! The father-of-the-bride
escorted Aria down the
watery aisle by canoe.
“I DO!”
The bridesmaids wore blue and lavender by Ella Moss and Charlotte Russe.
GAB ! 9
ARIA & RICH: “NATURALLY”
Aria Silverman and Rich Carter wed in Raymond, Maine on September 19, their reps report.
Aria and Rich met at St. Lawrence University and began dating in September, 2002. Their first date was at the canoe shack on the Grasse River, and that is where they fell in love.
Fittingly, Aria’s father, Rev. Dr. Ray Silverman, also the minister, brought Aria to her waiting groom by way of a canoe ride. Aria’s niece Chyler dropped rose petals in the water along the way.
Unconfirmed sources say the wedding ceremony took place at 3:30 pm at the edge of a beautiful blue lake.
Cocktails and an all-organic, fair-trade, locally grown dinner immediately followed the ceremony. After dinner the guests joined in riotous dancing, including a heated Limbo competition. The music continued well into the night, and more than one of the bridesmaids joined the band on stage with a little backup crooning.
CROWD SURFING! The newlyweds are into all
kinds of sports.
FREE RANGE! Rich and Aria raised the free range lamb themselves!
The Carter girls are always up for fun.
10 October 10, 2009
SIRI SAYS “I DO” TO HER HANDSOME PRINCEIT’S A FAIRYTALE WEDDING CELEBRATIONSiri Yardumian Grubb wed Daniel Francis Griffin, Jr. in an elaborate affair September 18 at Bryn Athyn Cathedral. The bride was escorted down the aisle by the groom, who was already looking weepy. He was able to regain control, and when asked if he would take this woman to be his lawfully wedded wife, Dan bellowed an
enthusiastic “I will.” Siri was absolutely stunning
in an ivory dress with capped sleeves, an ornately beaded bodice and a 30-foot train. “My heart was beating so hard,” the bride gushed after the ceremony, “I thought it was going to bust out of my dress!”
The ceremony was held on the fairgrounds of the Lord’s
New Church. The DJ played crowd favorites including “Thriller,” by Michael Jackson, “Fire Burning,” by Sean Kingston, “Do the Manhop Pop n’ Lock,” by Stephanie and “Down” by Jay Sean.
Siri and Dan continued the party the following week in Jamaica.
TRUE LOVE!
GAB ! 11
When asked how the big day went, the groom replied, “It was all a blur.”
In the sanctuary, spellbinding orchids were paired with aisle lanterns.
Beth Nehligand boyfriend Jason dressed to impress.
Bridesmaids Diane and Steph battled it out at the bouquet toss.
TWO-TIMER?After being less than impressed by BF Stewart’s Man Hop steps, Kristine Medley, was spotted with Ivan “Dancing Queen” Maddock, known for his smooth moves and die-hard dancing.
12 October 10, 2009
WHO WORE IT BEST?
Brad pulled off this risky jacket-sandal combo by adding a snazzy corsage.
Starlet Willow will be tough competition in a few years, but for now we have to hand it to the more experienced glam girl.
WORK THE ATTITUDE!
Norman Silverman
Brad Alpers
WillowOrthwein
Hannah Lermitte
WORK THE ANGLES!
GAB ! 13
PLAY THE GAME
HAIL TO YOUR DICTATORWED 6 | SUN 2
ULTIMATE by Baird
WHO WORE IT BEST?
Hannah Lermitte
ShilahRose
Shilah’s peep-toe Jimmy Choos add a much-needed pop of color to the ensemble.
SpringSilverman
WORK THE ACCESSORIES!
14 October 10, 2009
AT HOME WITH SHANNON WALKO Shannon’s impeccable taste does not stop at the star-studded events she hosts—her daily life is just as glamorous. Shannon opened the doors to her home and gave GAB! the exclusive on how she maintains an A-list life, living space, and look.
D.I.Y. DECORIf you want unique, high-quality decorating for less, do it yourself!
“Get a hobby,” advises Shannon, who taught herself calligraphy. “I often lend out my services—I just love doing it! And when I run out of things to calligraphy, I trace over things I’ve already done.” Shannon displays her work throughout her loft apartment, as a way to keep herself inspired.
Calligraphy is not Shannon’s only pastime. “When I was little I loved to bedazzle,” she explains to GAB!, “I still try to add a little sparkle and shine whenever I can.” On multiple occasions, galleries have offered to display her unique sequined artwork.
Shannon doesn’t have time to just sit around. She spends her days planning events for the stars and still finds time to constantly redecorate her home. “Until every surface shines with silver kitsch,” Shannon tells GAB! “A gal’s task is never finished.”
Shannon’s silver clutch matches the accents in her home.
GAB ! 15
AT HOME WITH SHANNON WALKO
“Always be ready for a party!” says Shannon, who is well-known for her themed soirees. “I have a great martini set that matches my phone, lamp, and side table, so I can just keep it out at all times in case I need to mix up a couple cocktails.”
“People love to come to my parties because my collection of vintage objects exudes a sense of
comfort and charm. I own a surplus of flea-market finds and family hand-me-downs.”
“Of course,” she continues, “Throwing a good party also means inviting the right people. I like to keep the guest list classy. Lindsay Lohan, Tara Reid, Heidi Montag and Amy Winehouse are some of the regulars at my pad.”
On lazy Sundays
Shannon embroiders
throw pillows.
ON THE LINE Dialing her vintage
rotary telephone
keeps Shannon’s
fingers adept for
calligraphy and
embroidery.
SHANNON’S TIP:To always have perfect towels, just sew a folded towel to itself and use different ones when you need to dry off.
SHAKE IT UP! A good martini set is vital for entertaining.
SHANNON’S SECRETS FOR SUCCESSFUL ENTERTAINING
16 October 10, 2009
GET SHANNON’S LOOK
French Connection Lockheart Dress $150.00 Turn on the feminine charm with the full skirt and wide ruffled hem.
Ray-Ban Wayfarer $109.00. The classic Wayfarer shape is fresh and pretty in pink.
Asics Tote Bag $46.00 Perfect tote for everyday.
Jessica Simpson Vandy $67.90 Bask in the beautiful weather wearing this pretty pink sandal.
CUTE & CASUAL SOPHISTICATED
ELEGANCE
White Escada sundress: $750
Pink Pradas: $250
Tods tote: $1,150
Gold Furla handbag: $3,000
Tiffany drop pearl earrings and matching bracelet: Priceless (they were a gift from hubby John!)
Kid white pumps by Marc Jacobs: $290
Black dress by Dolce & Gabbana: $5,000
Seafoam quartz ring with diamonds: $1,500
Pink Ray-Ban shades: $110
FOR LESS!
Elie Tahari Dress $372 Boast flirty femininity while falling helplessly in love with this LBD.
Jessica McClintock Frame Stone Clutch $59.00 Add allure to your ensemble with a clutch-style handbag made of satin.
Stuart Weitzman Sashay $167.77With a 4” heel, this sexy peep toe pump is simply pretty.
Marc by Marc Jacobs $99.00Every wardrobe needs the extra glam of these classic shades.
GAB ! 17
Taverniti So Jeans $211 Hit the high note when you belt on these brazen, hell raisin’ Hippie jeans.
Splendid Distressed Fleece Boat Neck Top $80 Casual, yet cool distressed top with cute three-quarter length sleeves.
Annie Keepsake flat $44.90 You’ll treasure the chic and elegant flat for seasons to come.
Keen $50.00 The ideal tote bag for a day at the market or an afternoon on the town.
Ryan Michael Mock Turtleneck $70.00An amazing update to the everyday tee, this unique turtleneck is as elegant as you.
7 For All Mankind Straight Leg Montclare$195.00 The perfect go-to jeans for a night out. Hey good lookin’!
BCBGeneration Dania $88.95Step it up a notch with the perfect platform pump.
Fossil Blackburn Satchel $128 This roomy, stylish bag is a show stopper!
RELAXED CHIC
NIGHT ON THE TOWN
Tory Burch black flats: $325
Pink Neiman Marcus bag: $350
Adriano Goldschmied jeans: $250
Vintage rope of pearls: $1,300
Gray boatneck JCrew sweatshirt: $110
Black Hayden turtleneck: $280
Stuccato Leopard print shoes: $340
Vintage amber necklace: $2,300
7 for All Mankind darkwash jeans: $195
Cole Hann handbag: $500
18 October 10, 2009
SEEING DOUBLE! FALL’S HOTTEST ACCESSORYIf you need one accessory this season to take your outfit from day to evening, this is it. A pair of twins is the must-have item this season. Twins give you an elegant “mom who can do it all”-inspired glamour. Take your pair with you anywhere you go. They go with everything from dressed up denim to party dresses!
WHEN DID IT ALL START?The “celebrities having twins” trend seemed to gain momentum in 2004, when leading lady Julia Roberts gave birth to Hazel Patricia and Phinnaeus Walter Moder.
ACTUALLY, TWINS HAVE BEEN AROUND FOR A WHILEWhen you really think about it, having twins isn’t a new trend in Bryn Athyn obstetrics. Plenty of stars are twins themselves. The most famous twin celebrities today might be Jared and Jason Jungé, but plenty of other stars shared a womb, including Mary-Kate and Ashley
Olsen, Adam and Glen Sutton, Skyler and Aria Silverman, Travis and Gareth Walter, and Good Charlotte rockers Joel and Benji Madden.
YOU GO GIRL! These hot mamas rock the
right look for right now!
FAMOUS WOMEN AT THE PEAK OF THEIR CAREERS WITH TWINS:Megan AllenJennifer LopezMarcia CrossRobin TrautmannJessica AlbaLori OdhnerAngelina JolieKerry SwierczynskiSarah Jessica ParkerJulia Roberts
The Trautmann boys sport Burberry backpacks.
“It’s decaf,” says Lori, who doesn’t need Starbucks to keep up with her girls.
Pair your twins with an older sibling, like Sarah Jessica!
JARED AND JASON
GAB ! 19
WOW MOM!
A healthy set of twins says you’ve
got the ‘it’ factor.
Kerry has promised her girls matching Mercs for their Sweet 16.
Carry them or walk them,they look adorable on you either way!
Complete the look with a double stroller, like Julia
Meg makes mommyhood look easy! Her secret? “Hire a backup nanny in case your regular one gets tired.”
WHAT NOT TO WEAR:
20 October 10, 2009
Skyler Silverman claims he was only trying to get the young child out of harm’s way after an incident with paparazzi photographers.
But as Skyler sits with his twenty-five-month-old nephew Cade Henderson on his knee, the wanna-be dad is putting baby Cade in far greater danger than he might realize.
Yesterday motoring organisations condemned the 29-year-old’s irresponsibility. Charles Lindsay, spokesman for the AA Motoring Trust, said Skyler was putting the child “in a potentially lethal situation.”
Lindsay added: “With a baby on his lap and his hands on the steering wheel, this monster is offering the child no protection whatsoever. Had he decided to start the car, drive away and then crash his vehicle, the baby would have been propelled at massive
force against the airbag, causing very serious injury. At the very least, that child should have been wearing a helmet.”
Skyler, whose hits include Oops, I Hit It Again and Baby One More Rhyme, was being watched by photographers while he was chilling in his Jeep near his family’s home in Bryn Athyn, Pennsylvania.
Skyler was unrepentant yesterday. “I had a horrifying, frightful encounter with the paparazzi while I was with my nephew,” he said. He claimed he lifted his nephew from his car seat to shield him from the blinding light of the flashing cameras.
“It was like strobe lights out of control. I was terrified they would blind him for life. I instinctively took measures to get my nephew and me out of harm’s way.”
Bryn Athyn Police said they will be investigating the incident because a formal complaint has been made.
SPOTTED!Monica Gruber near the scene on her cell. Was she the one who tipped off the cops?
SKYLER CAUGHT IN DRIVER’S SEAT WITH YOUNG CHILD ON LAP
“Sometimes I push the pedals and he steers. He’s got pretty good hand-eye coordination for a two-year-old.”
BUSTED!!
YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY
Sky is not the first celeb caught with a kid behind the wheel.
Nick Lermitte knows to keep his daughter in her carseat!
GAB ! 21
ULTIMATE by Baird
PLAY THE GAME
The latest celeb baby bump? Jessica and Dane Carswell exclusively told GAB! They’re expecting! The newest Carswell will be arriving in April.
The couple has been tossing around baby names. Baby name expert Ryan Glunz, strongly recommended that the couple go with something straightforward and simple. “For a girl, the couple’s vibe just shouts Olive Henrietta. For a boy,” Glunz says, “Bartholomew Taupe really captures this generation.”
EXPECTING: • Brad and Celestyn
Alpers • Bronwen and Jeremy
Henry • Will Ferrell and wife
Viveca Paulin• Jordan and Ashley
Walter• Sarah Michelle Gellar
and husband Freddie Prinze Jr.
IT HAS BEEN A WILD
YEAR FOR CELEBRITY
PREGNANCIES.
BABY BUMP!
BABY NAME EXPERT
HAIL TO YOUR DICTATORWED 6 | SUN 2
22 October 10, 2009
POWER DADS!
CHEESE!On his way to Daddy Jazz Class, Thor Odhner flashes a grin.
FAST FRIENDSWhen Volcan Andic takes son Remzi (6 months) to the park, the pair always make friends with the local children.
CRAFTYNick Lermitte and daughter Marissa (4) spend Saturday afternoons crafting.
ECO-DADJake Hogan and son Henry (2) go eco-friendly and walk to the supermarket!
GET FIT Glen Henderson and kids Chyler (4) and Cade (2) exercise together as a family.
GAB ! 23
NICK LERMITTEThe star talks about working his Foxiest Man Alive title into his dating life and how it is helping with his new gig as the #4 Security Guard at the Willow Grove Mall.
5 Questions for...
1 Will you work your Foxiest Man title into your eHarmony
profile? Of course! But I’m only mentioning it casually. I don’t want to come on too strong.
2 How did you hear you’d landed the title? Actually, I just
happened to Google “Foxiest Man Alive,” and there was a photo of me! I was a bit confused at first, but now I’m just really flattered.
3 How has this changed things at the Willow Grove Mall? Being a
Security Guard there is a real honor, and with my new title they’ve bumped me up to the double-oh-four position, so I’m really digging all the attention.
4What does your daughter think? She hasn’t talked about it
too much, which is odd, but I think deep down she is really happy for me.
5 How does this affect your chances with Megan Fox? Well, we
obviously have a lot more in common now, so that’s great. I’m an old-fashioned guy, so we are taking it really, really slow for now. Pretty soon, we’ll be friends on Facebook.
FOXIEST MAN ALIVE TALKS EXCLUSIVELY WITH GAB!Unfortunately Nick was not available for comment, so these are our best guesses at what we think he’d say.
GAB POLL:WILL NICK’S “FOXY” NEW TITLE HELP HIM WIN OVER MEGAN FOX?
YES 93% FOX + FOX = A PERFECT MATCH
NO 2%MEGAN’S AFRAID SHE’D BE OUTFOXED
MAYBE 5%MEGAN LIKES A MAN IN UNIFORM
24 October 10, 2009
Josh Cooper hops into his truck
to avoid GAB! photographers.
POWER MOMS!
FREE SPIRIT Sasha Henderson always makes time to frolic with her kids, Chyler and Cade.
COMFY CHIC Jenica wears a comfortable Pucci top while she’s out with her boys.
GIRLTIME Danielle strolls with daughters Willow and Sabine.
HOT MOM Martine Sutton takes baby Maya for a stroll.
GAB ! 25
While on vacay, Lukas Odhner and Amy Vreeman wander
confusedly through Boston
In an adorable plaid Rag & Bone dress, Freya Simons pauses to model for GAB! photographers.
Josh Cooper hops into his truck
to avoid GAB! photographers.
Power couple Chris and Julie (a.k.a. Julis) Carr spend some QT together.
THEY’RE JUST LIKE US!
THEY STRIKE FABULOUS POSES!
THEY SPEND TIME WITH THEIR SPOUSES!
THEY DRIVE THEMSELVES AROUND TOWN!
THEY GET LOST!
26 October 10, 2009
LEIGH ANN SAYS “I WILL!”In a romantic vineyard in Italy, energy engineer Adam Childs proposed to Leigh Ann Eddings. She said “Yes.” The two met after working for the same company and living in the same apartment complex. The eco-friendly couple decided to carpool, and the rest came naturally. A Fall 2010 wedding is planned.
Janine Biermann and Alexander Funk
Zachary Walter and Yesenia Adame
OTHER RECENT ENGAGEMENTS
BLAST FROM THE PASTShilah Rosechats it up with old flame Sean Horigan.
OLD HABITS DIE HARD
GAB! POLL:FAVORITE LOOK FOR CELESTYN
1960 1966 1980 1992 1996 2000
74%
Rachel Lindsay tries to wean herself off coffee by decreasing her regular Starbucks order of five lattes to a modest two.
GAB ! 27
PUPPY L VE
CAIRN COY AND SPRING SILVERMAN WITH PHOEBE “CUTENESS” COY
EMILY TAKES “POOCH” FOR A WALK
RUDI LEADS THE WAY FOR SHILAH ROSE
JAKE WITH ATTICUS
2 CUTE!
70% of GAB! readers thought Shilah would ditch her dog when he stopped fitting in her Louis Vuitton.
Spring: “My nail girl does dog nails too!”
LAUREN CONRAD WITH CUTE PUPPY
28 October 10, 2009
Brangelina’s boy Maddox sports a bold mohawk. “His favorite toy is definitely his Big Wheel, and he really puts the pedal to the pavement,” close family friend Shiloh Silverman says of the child, “And he was playing Raffi awfully loud the other day.”
It’s only RockBand now, but Hope Odhner’s passion for rock-and-roll is quickly developing into an obsession. “I’m worried,” Hope’s twin sister and best friend Aurelle was overheard saying, “I’ve been having a hard time falling asleep at night, since we listen to ACDC now instead of bedtime stories.”
Is Ati a future BA bad boy? Mother Jenica says: “I told him he could get a tattoo when he turned 18. I didn’t think I had to clarify that I meant years, not months. He was wearing long sleeves all summer— now I know why.”
HEADED FOR TROUBLE?
FUTURE BA BAD BOYS?
Willow Orthwein may be a rising starlet with her recent
supporting roles in Legally Blonde 3 and a Hannah Montana remake, but mother Danielle has been a bit
worried since Willow started downing a half-caf triple
grande two pump vanilla one pump sugar-free
caramel soy extra hot no foam two Equal latte each morning.
GAB ! 29
WHEN SOMEONE SAYS, “JUMP” RICH AND ARIA SAY, “HOW HIGH?”
On her days off, Chlyer enjoys a round of golf.
CHILD LABOR?Sources say Spring encourages Chyler to coordinate her wardrobe with her polish.
GAB! SHOCKER
SPRING’S NAIL GIRL IS ONLY 4 YEARS OLD! Many are shocked by her move to hire so young, but Spring Silverman maintains that Chyler Henderson, 4, is really “the best nail girl I’ve ever had.” She insists that the toddler is allowed to take a 3 hour nap every afternoon, and gets plenty of animal crackers between color applications. Spring admits that one downside to the hire is that Chyler refuses to use anything but pink and purple polish. When asked for a comment, Spring said, “Just don’t ask me how old my hair stylist is.”
Spring: “This wasn’t as bad as when she tried to hurdle me while I was standing.”
30 October 10, 2009
WOMEN’S GUILD COOKBOOK 2.0Competition is stiff for spots in this year’s BA Women’s Guild Cookbook. Spring Silverman and Amanda Childs were spotted getting tips from Emily Latta Klippenstein, the most recent winner of the Society Kitchen Silver Scholarship.
GAB! POLL
by Melissa KlocBuoyancy
Buoyancy
Buoyancy
ASK GABBIEBIG KID ADVICE FROM A SMALL TOWN GIRL
My 10 year high school reunion is this year, and I’m a little worried I haven’t accomplished anything worth bragging about. What should I do? — Part-Time Waitress with No College Degree
Dear Part-Time,
Simply pose one or both of the following questions to your over-achieving classmates:
1. How much debt do you have?
2. Did you know that most women gain 15 pounds within their first year of marriage?Gabbie
I met this girl at a party, we started chatting, and eventually she gave me her number. The next day I texted her to see what she was up to, but she hasn’t responded. What’s the deal? — Too Timid to Call
Dear Too Timid to Call,
Texting is a completely unacceptable medium for arranging a first date. Texting should only be used for two things:1. Conveying a brief piece of information that requires no response. (Ex: Running L8. B there in 5)2. Shooting the breeze with a long-
time friend* while you’re doing other things. (Ex: OMG last nite was CRZY!!! Have you seen the pics on F-book?!)
Texting indicates a lack of commitment that is never attractive. Man up and actually call her.(*Long-time friend is someone you’ve known more than a month who can name everyone in your immediate family.)
Gabbie
I notice that burgeoning director Luke Howard has recently been snapped up. How did I miss that boat? — Young and Single
Dear Young and Single,
This seems to be a trend in Bryn Athyn: young singles think all the other single folks are going to stay that way forever. And somehow both sexes think that the person of the other sex is going to make the first move. Luke Howard may be off the market, but that doesn’t mean the next guy will be! Make a move, especially if you’re an Aquarius.Gabbie
Got a question for Gabbie? Send her an email: [email protected]
Which brother pulls off “1990” better? What about “1980”?
89%
62%
GAB ! 31
SCORPIO OCT 23 – NOV 21Some much-needed cash lands in your pocket just in time to satisfy your urge for a little retail therapy. We suggest Walmart or 5 and Below. Quality is for the birds. This month, its about quantity!
SAGITTARIUS NOV 22 – DEC 21This month you’ll find out some juicy gossip. Make sure to tell everyone— this is a good one!
CAPRICORN DEC 22 — JAN 19A new pal passes a test of loyalty, but you should probably run a few more tests. Just to be safe.
AQUARIUS JAN 20 – FEB 18A shy admirer will say “hi” when you walk by, make sure to wave to strangers!!
PISCES FEB 19 – MAR 20Well...there’s always November to look forward to.
ARIES MAR 21 – APR 19You will be a winner in love this month! Your pet loves you! Your mom loves you! Now try leaving your house!
TAURUS APR 20 – MAY 20Your effortless grace and charm make you a standout in any social situation this month. Enjoy it while it lasts, because Tuesday night Bingo League ends in November.
GEMINI MAY 21 – JUN 21This month is going to be an 8. Unfortunately the stars don’t tell us what kind of scale that’s on, so cross your fingers!
CANCER JUN 22 – JUL 22Time for a change—redecorate now! Add what seems like a wild touch. Then reflect on the fact that you just called redecorating wild.
LEO JUL 23 – AUG 22You’ll be feeling on top of the world this month when your 17th fortune cookie unlocks your key to success. We hope you’ve been counting because numbers 16 and 18 are completely wrong.
VIRGO AUG 23 – SEP 22Romance blooms when a surprising declaration of love comes to you in an unexpected way. And text messages don’t count, because no love that’s worth your time can be declared in 125 letters.
HOROSCOPES
LIBRA SEP 24 – OCT 22This is your month, Libra! Having Jupiter in the second house makes this a great month for stepping out of your comfort zone. Try something new, like yodelling. It’s a rush!
GAB! editor Serena Sutton is a Libra!
32 October 10, 2009
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HAIL TO YOUR DICTATORWED 6 | SUN 2
ULTIMATE by Baird
PLAY THE GAME