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“Supporting a Survivor”

FYCARE Script

2013-2014

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FYCARE Script

Facilitation Notes

√ Make sure you have checked out the break-out room before the workshop started. If it is locked, check out a key from the front desk. √As you introduce yourself, be open about the reasons you got involved. √ Let the participants know that they can step out of the workshop if they need to, and that one of the facilitators will go check on them. √Pay attention to your fellow facilitators when they speak. Remember, if you aren’t paying attention to each other, why should first year students?

I. Introduction/Definitions (15 minutes) Thank you all for coming. We are from the Campus Acquaintance Rape Education (or CARE) Program. We are here to facilitate a discussion about what we can all do to support someone in our lives that has survived sexual assault. Before we begin, we’d like to introduce ourselves. My name is ____________, and I decided to get involved in the CARE program because___________________. [Note: Other facilitators should also introduce themselves at this point.] Each of us is here because we feel that sexual assault is an issue that we should discuss more. However, sexual assault is also a very sensitive issue, so we may need some basic ground rules to help shape this discussion. First, it’s important for you all to participate in the workshop with us. Participation from the group not only makes these workshops more interesting, but it also lets us learn from each other. Second, we know that we all have different experiences with sexual assault. Some of us may have never talked about this topic before, and others may know someone who has experienced it. We’re all going to have different reactions to such a sensitive topic. If you feel upset, frustrated, etc., as a result of anything we talk about, please take care of yourself in any way you need to. Also, we’ll be available after the workshop if anyone wants to talk or ask us questions. Lastly, this is a very diverse campus filled with people of many different backgrounds. Because of this, we will be using gender-inclusive pronouns (they/them) in order to illustrate the fact that sexual assault can happen to anyone. Also, many people on this campus may identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) or gender non-conforming--those who do not identify as male or female--and we will be addressing these identities throughout the workshop. For these reasons, our last request is that we all be respectful of each other. This won’t mean that we will always agree, just that we would be considerate of other people’s experiences and perspectives. Can we all agree to participate and be respectful? Thank you. Before we begin, does anyone have any questions?

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√ Male-on-male rapists either self-identified or were perceived by their victim as heterosexual. (For more info, see Male on Male Rape by Michael Scarce) √ If you realize that not everyone is able to raise their hands, adjust the exercise to something everyone can do.

Gendered Violence: In this workshop, we will be talking about sexual violence, a crime historically rooted in gender inequality. From research, we know that 95% of all sexual violence against females is committed by male perpetrators. It is important, though, to remember that males are victims in 9% of all sexual violence, and they are usually violated by other males. Sexual violence is primarily an issue of men’s violence, even though most men are not rapists and women can also be perpetrators. Regardless of gender, sexual assault is a traumatic experience, and all survivors need support from the people around them. It’s important that we acknowledge that rape can occur within, and outside of, relationships, and it can happen to anyone, regardless of race, sexual orientation, gender, or class. Activity: Before we move on, we want to learn a bit about you. I’m going to read off a series of statements. If the statement applies to you, raise your hand. After I read each statement, take a look around and see what people here have in common, then put your hands down, and we’ll read another statement. Please raise your hand (or stand up) if:

You are originally from the Champaign-Urbana area You are from Illinois You are from a country other than the US You speak fluently in a language other than English You have not yet decided your major You have an unusual pet You are friends with your mom/dad on Facebook You get along with your roommate You have ever attended a program on sexual assault You know someone who has experienced sexual assault

We come from different places, and all have very different experiences prior to coming to the University. Now you may be saying to yourself that sexual assault doesn’t affect you because you aren’t a rapist or you’ll never be a victim, or you don’t drink, or you never walk home alone, or you’re not sexually active – or whatever. Regardless, all of us could have a friend or roommate who is affected by this issue, and all of us are a part of this campus community. As you can see, some of us already know someone who has experienced sexual assault. National studies on college campuses have shown that 1 in 5 women and 1 in 16 men will experience an actual or attempted sexual assault during their undergraduate career. Additionally, the average age that a survivor experiences a sexual assault on this campus is 18 ½ years, which is generally during the first semester of one’s freshman year. We are

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√ Remember, when giving the statistics on rape, this refers to the number of men who reported on an anonymous survey that they committed acts that, if legally defined, constituted rape– not the number who report to the police and not the number who label the experience as rape. √ When you ask a question, wait at least 5-7 seconds for the response. √ If there aren’t 10 people in the group, the volunteers can be given more than one card apiece and be asked to place them in order. √To save time, discuss these examples as groups (force, threat of force, emotional coercion). It is fine if they choose to place the cards differently than you would.

here because it is very likely that you know, or will know, someone who is a survivor of sexual assault. Rape Myths: Before we can talk about supporting survivors, we need to clear up a few things about how sexual assault happens. Often, when we think about sexual assault, we imagine a man attacking a woman while she walks home alone at night. In reality, about 80% of assaults are committed by someone the survivor knows – a date, a partner, a co-worker, or someone they met at a party. Stranger rapes do happen, but they are not the most common situation. Another common myth is that poor men or men of color are the majority of the perpetrators. Not only is this a racist and classist idea, but also it is totally false. Most of the time, victims and perpetrators are the same race. On college campuses, 1 in 16 men admit to behaviors, which, if legally defined, would constitute sexual assault. Those men come from many different backgrounds, and men of color are NOT more likely than white men to commit sexual assault. Defining Sexual Assault: To assist survivors, we need to know what sexual assault is. [Question] How do you define sexual assault? Facilitate the following:

Forced sex/sexual penetration without consent Includes oral or anal sexual assault Includes penetration with fingers or objects Perpetrators and survivors do not have to be a specific

gender Often interchanged with “rape”

Continuum of Sexual Coercion: From your definition, there is force or pressure involved in sexual assault. Depending on this situation, this pressure can appear either very obvious or very subtle. To help us understand the differences, I need ten volunteers. I’m going to hand out a card to each of the volunteers. Each of these cards contains an example of a sexually pressuring behavior. I’d like our volunteers to form a line, with the less sexually pressuring behaviors on the left. On the right hand side, we’ll place the sexual pressuring behaviors that are more obvious and forceful. Please place your card along the continuum from least to most sexually pressuring or forceful. Pay attention both to the continuum and to your position in relation to the other behaviors. We’ll give you a moment to organize yourselves.

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√ You do not need to discuss each card. These are some points if the group gets stuck. √ Once the volunteers have agreed upon where they place themselves, ask the larger group if they have any suggestions or disagreements. √ When discussing emotional coercion, focus on the negative consequences (damage to relationships, trust, security, etc.) as opposed to the fact that it is not illegal. √ Sexual coercion can take place via social media, text messages, email, etc. Even though technology is involved, it can be just as forceful as if it is happening in “real life.” Additionally, a “yes” online or via text is not always 100% consent given both parties have the right to change their mind at any time. It’s also a good idea to reaffirm both parties’ consent because the person behind the screen may not be the person you meet.

Using a knife Example of use of

weapons Other weapons would

include a club, gun, etc.

Spiking someone’s drink Example of

incapacitating someone through drugs or alcohol

Alcohol or drugs are being used as a weapon

Full discussion of this issue in later section.

Holding someone down Example of physical

force Other examples of

physical force include grabbing, holding, slapping, punching, etc.

Saying “I’ll kill you” Example of verbal

threats This is a verbal threat of

force Other verbal threats

may include threatening to hurt or kill a loved one or even a pet.

Blocking someone’s exit Example of using

physical intimidation Subtly, this threatens

force Other examples include

refusing to leave, invading personal space, standing over someone, etc.

Punching a wall Example of threatening

behaviors This says “this could

be your face next time” Other examples

include ripping out the phone cord, throwing objects, and raising voice.

Laying a gun down nearby Example of threatening

with a weapon’s presence

The weapon may not be used, but the implied threat is there.

Threaten to disclose embarrassing or damaging information

Example of emotional coercion

Use example of “outing” someone who is gay or transgender.

May not be illegal, but can have same emotional effects as illegal coercion.

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√ If the group asks questions about the illegality of emotional coercion, let them know that it is not illegal, but it is definitely unhealthy and painful. √ Allow at least 2-3 students to give a definition, in lay terms. Repeat the definitions.

Expecting sex in return for gifts Example of emotional

coercion Treats sex as a

transaction, not as a mutually enjoyable experience

Badgering for sex repeatedly Example of emotional

coercion Not only is this

annoying, but it also is not respectful of partner’s decision.

May not be illegal, but neither is it mutually enjoyed sex.

Less forceful (emotional coercion)

Middle (Threats of physical

force)

Most forceful (using force)

Threatening to disclose information Badgering for sex repeatedly Expecting sex for gifts

Saying “I’ll kill you.” Blocking someone’s

exit Punching a wall

Laying down a gun nearby

Using a knife Holding someone

down Spiking

someone’s drink

I think we can agree that each of these behaviors has no place in a healthy relationship. The behaviors on the left are called emotional coercion—using someone’s emotions to get them to do something that they don’t want to do. Although they don’t involve physical force, they can still cause harm. Each of these forms of coercion disrespects the other person and their right to choose (or refuse) to be sexual. Consent: One thing that this continuum does not take into consideration is the other person’s consent. When we were developing our definition earlier, we agreed that sexual assault is unwanted or non-consensual. So now we want to talk about what consent means. [Question] What is consent? Consenting to sex means willingly and freely choosing to participate in sex of any kind with someone else. It means that we are free to choose what we want to do without feeling pressured or

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√ Give participants a chance to tackle this question for a moment, before you comment. √ How might technology present some challenges to knowing whether or not your partner has given consent (ex: in cases of sexting, sending sexual messages or pictures, etc)? √ Repeat responses as they are given. If you don’t get any response at first, wait a few seconds.

√ To clarify the issue of “insertion, however slight,” you can make one hand into an “O” and use the index finger of your other hand. Make sure to define them as object and orifice.

√ It is NOT true that dismissal always prevents you from

forced. It also means that we have communicated a “yes” to our partner. Consent is the presence of a yes, not the absence of a no. [Question] How would you know that you had consent from your partner? Facilitate the following in your own words:

They have clearly communicated their intent. (Clearly given yes, not just the absence of a no.)

There isn’t coercion going on (cite previous activity). They are fully conscious & aware. They are free to act (move away, have sex, do what they

want, etc.). There are times when someone is incapable of giving consent. When the person is unable to understand the nature of sexual activity, he or she is not capable, legally or otherwise, of “consenting” to the act. [Question] What are some factors that would make someone unable to give consent? Facilitate the following responses:

mental illness language/culture barriers developmental disabilities certain age differentials impairment due to alcohol or drugs

Like we stated earlier, consent means a clearly given “yes”, where each person is able to fully understand what is going on and is willing to participate. Legal Definitions: In Illinois, sexual assault is legally defined as sexual penetration by force or threat of force. Other sexual conduct that occurs with force or threat of force but does not involve penetration falls under the same criminal code, but is defined as “sexual abuse.” Terminology used in the law may sound confusing. The term “sexual penetration” in the legal definition is the insertion, however slight, of the penis, fingers, or other object, into the vagina, anus or mouth. For example, a male victim may be forced to perform oral or anal sex on the perpetrator. In addition to being a criminal charge, sexual assault is a violation of the University’s code of conduct. The University of Illinois has a sexual misconduct policy. Under this policy, sexual misconduct includes “any sexual activity that does not involve the knowing

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enrolling at another university.

consent of each individual, expressed verbally or otherwise.” If found in violation of this code, a student can face University sanctions, including dismissal.

√ Other examples of “sexualized violence”: professional wrestling, soap operas, James Bond movies, music videos, ‘slasher’ films, and advertising. √ Suggestions for explaining power and control: 1) Rapists will attack individuals who can be easily overcome (elderly, children, people with disabilities, intoxicated individuals, etc.), not those who are the “sexiest”;; 2) Men who rape men usually identify as heterosexual.

II. Effects of Sexual Assault (10 minutes) In order to assist a survivor, it is important that we know first how sexual violence may affect her or him. In fact, it is probably one of the most traumatic events someone could experience. As Marge Piercy’s “Rape Poem” says, “There is no difference between being raped / and going headfirst through a windshield / except afterward you are afraid / not of cars / but half the human race.” People get confused sometimes, though, because they assume that sexual assault is all about sex. This leads them to assume that sexual assault is not traumatic, because sex is not (usually) traumatic. However, even though sexualized parts of the body might be involved, we are talking about using body parts as weapons. If I used a pan to fry eggs, we’d call that cooking. (Right?) If I hit you over the head with that frying pan, would we call that cooking? Probably not. In the case of sexual assault, sexual activity might be involved, but it is the medium for attacking someone - not a shared experience. We want to be clear that sexual assault is violence, not sex. Sexual assault is a crime of power and control. It is one person taking away another person’s control over their body. It is not sexy;; it is violent. People who sexually assault may “believe” they are having sex, but this belief is based upon the idea that sex is about one person overpowering and ignoring another. Also, sexual assault is traumatic, meaning that it is an event that is both overwhelming and threatens one’s physical and/or emotional safety. The effects of sexual assault last long after the assault, regardless of whether the victim or perpetrator identifies the event as a sexual assault. Traumas like sexual assault can affect people in lots of different ways, physically, emotionally and socially. [Question] What effects do you think a sexual assault survivor may experience? Let’s start with…. (choose emotional physical or social and then go through all 3 categories) Facilitate the following responses (write on board):

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√Often, survivors fear persons of the same sex or gender as their perpetrator. Triggers after experiencing sexual assault may also be toward specific body parts, which are not limited by sex or gender.

Physical Sleeping

problems Eating disorders Pain Health concerns Increased use of

alcohol and other drugs

STI pregnancy

Emotional Fear Shock Self-blame Shame Powerlessness Anger Low self-

esteem

Social Isolation Fear of being

alone Fear relating

to sex and gender

Trust issues Changes in

productivity Intimacy

issues Concern about

what others think

[The group does NOT need to brainstorm each of the above effects; they are intended as a guide. However, be sure they address effects in each category.] As you can see, sexual assault has some pretty serious effects on a survivor. In fact, many survivors have said that sexual assault changes a person’s life completely. No survivor will experience every reaction, and each survivor will be uniquely affected. Although these effects are serious, survivors should not be treated like broken or damaged individuals. Healing does happen, but it is important that the survivor has support from caring friends, family, and communities.

√ If time & space allows, break the participants into three groups to discuss each scenario. If not, the facilitator can read each scenario to the entire group.

III. Responding to Survivors (15 minutes) Because of all these effects, survivors may need assistance from the many individuals in their lives who care about them. We are going to read some scenarios. As you hear the scenario, think about 1) what might this person need from you and 2) how could you respond. Scenario 1: You are up late talking to your friend, Lee, who lives on your floor. Lee tells you that they were sexually assaulted last weekend. They do not want to tell anyone else, not the police and definitely not their parents. Lee was waiting until marriage and is sure that they must have done something to make their assailant do this.

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√ Try to get at least one response from a participant. If you get a “wrong” answer, positively acknowledge the response, but don’t leave it. Ask if any other participants would like to respond, and ask questions to get to the “correct” answer if no one gives it. √Both the WRC and RACES, the local rape crisis center, offer free and confidential services including support, information, referrals, support groups, and counseling (at RACES). All students are welcome at both places. The Counseling Center, which has a trauma treatment team, also provides confidential services. √ Watch for & address homophobic responses. Whether the rapist was a stranger or a guy he was dating, he did not deserve to be raped.

Talking Points Believe them. It is not their fault. Regardless of what Lee did or did not do,

no one ever has the right to force sex on them. Lee may not want to tell the authorities or their parents for a

variety of reasons. It can be tempting to tell the survivor what to do; however, since rape is a crime of power and control, it is important to find ways to give them back that control. Providing survivors with options can be one way.

Don’t make decisions for the survivor – remember that control has been taken away.

Offer to accompany the survivor to appointments. Tell Lee about the confidential services available at the

Women’s Resources Center (WRC), the Counseling Center, and RACES.

Scenario 2: A female friend of yours tells you that a guy that you both know forced her to have sex with him the previous evening. You can’t believe this would happen. He’s a good guy, and besides, she had mentioned wanting to hook up with him before. Talking Points

Although we like to believe that rapists are “sick” individuals, they look like normal people. None of them wear signs that say “rapist.”

Regardless of her attraction to him or any prior consensual sexual activity, she did not consent to sex with him this time.

She did not do anything to deserve to be raped. Survivors need someone to listen non-judgmentally. A professional at the WRC, Counseling Center, and/or at

RACES could offer unbiased and confidential support. Discuss the meaning of “hooking up.”

Scenario 3: A guy you know comes to you pretty shook up. He says he was raped last night and he doesn’t know what to do. Talking Points

Men on college campuses are sexually assaulted. In about 5% of all sexual assaults, the victim is a man. They deserve our support and compassion, too.

In the vast majority of cases, the perpetrator is a man who identifies as heterosexual, although men can be raped within same-sex relationships or by women, as well.

He needs the same support that the other survivors needed in Scenarios 1 & 2, including to be believed, listened to, and told that it was not his fault.

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√ Reassure participants that we are all capable of helping someone and being a support. If someone chooses to disclose to you, then she or he must really trust you.

Men are socialized to believe that they should always be able to protect themselves, and being sexually assaulted may call into question his sexual identity and masculinity. REMEMBER: Being raped does not make someone gay OR straight! Your sexual orientation does not change as a result of being sexually assaulted.

The stigma and embarrassment associated with male sexual assault may make the male survivor much less likely to disclose.

RACES offers services for all survivors, including men, and might be a safe place off-campus to talk to someone confidentially.

Would your response change if the survivor was a woman who was assaulted by another woman?

OK, let’s summarize what’s been said. Reiterate the following, or add it if they have not already been mentioned:

Respect the survivor’s privacy and need for confidentiality. Don’t tell anyone without permission. (Exception:

counselors, advocates, and other confidential people) Take care of yourself and talk to someone confidentially

(Counseling Center, WRC, RACES) if possible. Assess if you are the best person to offer support for the

survivor. If not, brainstorm someone else who can help. Supporters need emotional support, too. We are no good at

taking care of others if we ourselves are not taken care of elsewhere. Take care of yourself while you support the survivor.

One of the ways we can be most helpful to survivors is by being able to give them information about where they can get help from on campus and in the community. Towards the end of the workshop, we will be handing out safety cards, which contain some of the information we’ve talked about, as well as some useful services for survivors of sexual assault. As supporters, we may have trouble understanding how something so awful could happen to someone who did not deserve it; therefore, we may say things to survivors that communicate our disbelief. We want to spend the next few minutes discussing the ways that we may inadvertently blame victims and support sexual assault.

IV. Supporting Survivors (10 minutes) We emphasized in the scenarios that it was really important to

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√ You can also acknowledge the historical, racist use of rape accusations to justify the lynching of black men.

believe the survivor and let them know that what happened was not their fault. This is so important because survivors are most often the ones blamed for what happened to them, instead of the rapist. People often say things to survivors or ask questions that can make them feel like what happened was their fault. [Question] What are some things people might say to or ask a survivor that make them feel like they were to blame for being raped or that they did something to deserve it? Facilitate the following responses:

Why were you walking alone? What did you expect? Were you drinking? But they’re such a nice person. They didn’t mean it. Were you clear with them? Did you say no? Did you fight back? What were you wearing?

Why Blame the Victim?: “All of these questions or statements make it seem like the rape happened because of something the survivor did or didn’t do. All of us have probably thought a few of these things at some point. Even survivors themselves are likely to ask themselves these questions and blame themselves for what happened, especially if the perpetrator is someone they know. [Question] Why do you think people blame survivors for sexual assault?” Facilitate the following responses:

It makes us all feel safer to say the victim did something to cause the rape. That way, we can say it won’t happen to us (e.g. “That person was raped because they were drinking. I won’t drink, so therefore I won’t be raped.”).

We don’t want to believe that people, whether we know them or not, are capable of such an act.

Men may feel the need to defend other men’s behaviors (or may be justifying their own past actions).

We may be afraid it could happen to a loved one.

[Question] Why do survivors blame themselves?” Facilitate the following responses:

because society blames them because friends & relatives blame them to regain some control over their life to convince themselves that if they can alter certain

behaviors or avoid certain situations, they will be safe

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√Law enforcement officers and state’s attorneys may decide not to prosecute a case for many reasons, including a lack of forensic evidence, or a survivor who doesn’t wish to re-live her assault in front of a jury. The vast majority of these cases are not false, or made-up, reports. You are no more likely to be falsely accused of rape than you are of homicide, robbery, or other felony crimes. √ For example, a “rape kit” involves the survivor standing on a white sheet and taking off their clothes in order for their body to be examined, usually by a nurse. Mentioning this might make it stick better in their minds and realize the difficulty of reporting.

“It is important to remember that blaming a survivor for what someone else has perpetrated actually increases our vulnerability, because we are denying that rape can happen to anyone. The fact that victims are often blamed for what happened to them is one of the biggest reasons people don’t seek help after an assault. Only about 5% of college women report their assault to the police, at least in part because they are told that the rape was their fault.” False Reports-Myth v. Fact: We also want to address the issue of false reports of sexual assault. How many of you have heard someone say, “That person is lying about being raped to get back at someone”? Most of us have probably heard someone say some version of this before. [Question] How do you think it would make a survivor feel to hear someone say that they are lying?

Facilitate the following responses: Guilty Ashamed Sad, depressed Angry

While it’s frightening to think that you or a friend might be falsely accused of rape, statistics show that people rarely lie about being raped. Only 1-2% of cases reported to law enforcement are made up. Statistically, you are more likely to be falsely accused of murder than sexual assault. In the media, we often hear about sexual assaults that don’t get prosecuted in the criminal justice system. This is not the same as a false report. It doesn’t mean the victim wasn’t raped or that they are lying about who the perpetrator is. Cases are not prosecuted for a variety of reasons. It is important to remember that someone who has committed a sexual assault will probably say that they have been falsely accused. Although it can happen, falsely accusing someone of sexual assault doesn’t make much sense. We have already talked about how survivors are criticized or blamed by those around them when they disclose that they have been sexually assaulted. Additionally, the difficult process of reporting – interviews, evidence collection, and court procedures – prevents far more people from formally reporting than it encourages. If such a grueling procedure may deter an actual victim from reporting an assault, it would most likely deter someone from making a false report of rape. “Innocent” Jokes and Comments: We have talked a lot about

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√ Point out how phrases such as “That exam raped me” belittle the experience of survivors when it uses word rape to mean an uncomfortable experience.

things that we might say directly to survivors that aren’t supportive. We also want to talk about some of the things that we do that trivialize rape in general. How many of you have seen a Facebook status that said, “That test raped me”? Clearly, this would be very hurtful for a survivor to read, but what about your group of friends? [Question] What may be some of the effects of making a joke about rape to a general group of people? Facilitate the following responses:

Somebody in the group may be a survivor or significant other, and you don’t know

May validate someone’s ideas that it is okay to force someone to have sex

Creates an environment that may blame victims and encourage rape

Not only are we unable to always know whether those around of have experienced this violence, but these add up. And if most of us have heard statements like these, think about how that must make survivors feel around us. How you choose to respond to these comments or jokes is up to you. But we can’t deny that this can have an effect on a survivor that we care about.

√ This is a very tricky issue to facilitate. Be on your toes for victim blaming statements. Remember, women can drink, too. Her intoxication is no excuse for rape. √ If a student brings up a drug that is not listed on here, explain that any drug/alcohol can be a date rape drug if the intention is to hurt someone when they are under the influence of the drug.

V. Drugs & Alcohol (15 minutes) Introduction: We want to spend some time talking about drugs and alcohol and their influence on sexual assault. We recognize that not everyone on campus drinks or uses drugs, but many people do. Additionally, alcohol is not the only factor in sexual assault, but alcohol has been found to play a role in about 75% of sexual assaults on college campuses. Therefore, it is important for us to talk about what the role of drugs and alcohol may be. Date Rape Drugs: How many of you have heard the term “date-rape drugs”? “Date rape drugs” are drugs that are used to incapacitate someone in order to sexually assault them. [Question] What are some names of “date rape drugs” that you’ve heard? Facilitate the following

Ketamine (K, Special K) (tranquilizer used on large, non-domestic animals)

Gamma Hydroxy Butyrate (GHB, Liquid G, G) (this can be made from a variety of household ingredients, such as bleach and other cleaning products)

Rohypnol (Roofies) (this drug is legal across Europe/Mexico, used as a sleep aid)

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√ Share a personal example, if you have one. √ Remind participants that they don’t have to drink to be able to answer the questions. All of us, drinkers and non-drinkers, have received these messages about alcohol and sex. √ In a court of law, any

Alcohol:[Question] What about alcohol? Is alcohol a date-rape drug? In our society, it is seen as okay to give alcohol to women to make them “less resistant” to sex. Making alcohol readily available to women is one way that women are targeted for sexual assault. [Question] Can you think of some ways in the campus scene that alcohol is given more easily or in a different way to women than to men? Examples of answers:

No cover charge for women (Ladies’ nights) Free drinks to women Spiking fruit punch or other sweet drinks with hard

liquor Buying unlimited drinks for women

“When alcohol is used to make someone less resistant or unable to defend themselves, it’s being used as weapon. When we drew the sexual pressure continuum, we labeled using drugs to incapacitate someone as force. Because it is sometimes used as a weapon, alcohol is still the most widely used and socially accepted date rape drug. Alcohol and Consent: “Most people who use alcohol and other drugs take them recreationally and willingly. As we mentioned earlier, a person is unable to give consent if they are drunk or impaired to the point where they cannot understand what they are agreeing to. Both the Illinois state law and the University‘s code of conduct are clear that if a person is heavily intoxicated, he or she is unable to give knowing consent. Let’s say an individual is drunk. [Question] How do we know when this person is too drunk to give consent? Facilitate the following responses: (write on board)

Slurring words Stumbling Unable to talk Vomiting Inability to speak normally (loud, repeats self, etc.) Passing out Asleep

The Law: “People have different tolerance levels for alcohol and other drugs, and the sexual assault law does not specify how much alcohol someone can have before they are unable to give consent. Because females generally weigh less than men and have a lower content of water in their bodies, women generally become

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impairment based on intoxication will be decided using available evidence such as the corroborating testimony of others who witnessed the people’s behavior, the amount of alcohol consumed, and the state of mind over the course of the evening. √ Remind students that there is a difference between being raped and having sex we regret, and that people wake up feeling violated.

intoxicated more quickly and their ability to give consent is more likely to become an issue. Additionally, this may be the first time students are experimenting with these substances, and they may not be sure of their tolerance. A good rule to follow is that if you wouldn’t let a person drive your car home, they probably aren’t able to consent to sex. “Another question that often comes up is “If they were both drunk, can’t they both be charged with assault?” [Question] Does anyone want to address this issue? “Anyone can be either victims or perpetrators of sexual assault. Remember, in Illinois, sexual assault laws are gender-neutral. If both people were intoxicated and both felt violated, it would be up to the criminal justice system to determine if and against whom charges should be filed. But this rarely – if ever – happens. Remember, if neither person were able to give consent, then neither person would be having sex. It is not as if there’s a sex fairy out at a bar/party who bonks 2 people on the head and says, “You two are going to have sex tonight, whether you want to or not.” Someone has to be sober enough to decide that sex is going to happen. It cannot happen accidentally, regardless of what excuses people may make. Moreover, alcohol impairment is frequently used as an excuse for sexually aggressive behaviors. Even though someone is drunk, they are still responsible for any crimes they commit, whether that be grand theft auto or sexual assault. When someone is sexually assaulted while they are drunk, passed out, or asleep, they may not be able to remember everything about the incident. Thus, the pain and trauma experienced becomes complicated by the uncertainty of what actually happened. When we talk about supporting survivors, we must remember that even though they may not remember everything, the trauma is incredibly real. Regardless of whether they drank or took drugs willingly, or whether these drugs were forced upon or slipped to them, it is not the survivor’s fault. We are not suggesting that individuals cannot have consensual sex while intoxicated; however, when alcohol or other drugs are used, caution should be exercised. Clear communication is extremely important, but this isn’t always possible when people are very intoxicated. Remember, waiting until both parties are sober should always be an option.

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The ways that we support a survivor, or even the ways that we may blame a survivor, are topics that can be easier to discuss in safer, more personal spaces with less people. We are going to split up into two separate groups to talk about these issues more fully. We will be getting back together in a large group afterwards. [Question] Before we split up, does anyone have any questions?”

√This section should be very discussion based.

√ Feel free to reference back to the victim blaming section at this point to help generate ideas

√ Be sure to address potential homophobic comments here such as “Don’t drop the soap,” or “Don’t hang out around gay men.” Remember, most male-on-male rapists are heterosexual.

VI. Break-Out Groups (40 minutes)

Introduction: Confronting Double Standards (10 minutes) As we mentioned earlier in the workshop, sexual assault affects everyone differently, but there are some differences in the ways we were all brought up to think about and even defend ourselves from the threat of sexual assault that are specific to certain groups of people. For example, if a woman is at a party with a group of friends and someone goes missing, it’s suddenly “Oh my gosh! Where’s Lisa!?” Everyone’s on their cell phone, trying to find her. But you never see this action from men. You don’t see a group of men on their cell phones going “Where’s Ed!? Someone took Ed!”

Most all of us have thought about scenarios in which men and women have been taught to act differently toward similar situations. We are now going to illustrate this by generating a list of activities or strategies we all have heard about how to protect ourselves from sexual assault. Let’s start with messages directed toward women. [Question] What are some messages you’ve heard about the ways in which women are supposed to protect themselves from sexual assault? Facilitate the following responses:

Don’t walk home alone at night/use buddy system Always watch drinks being made/cover drinks Don’t drink too much Don’t wear provocative clothing Carry pepper spray or rape whistles Hold keys between fingers Take self-defense courses

[Question] What are some messages you’ve heard about the ways in which men are supposed to protect themselves from sexual assault? (Hint: there aren’t many, if any at all.) [Question] What does this focus on women’s behaviors say about our attitudes towards perpetrators?

Society says: “Perpetrators are not as responsible for their actions as women are to protect themselves.”

“If women are raped, it must be their fault.”

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√ Be sure to address the homophobic and transphobic nature of the assumptions for male survivors.

√ Alternatively, you could have the group raise their hands if it makes things easier to move the group through the exercise.

“If men are raped, there must be something wrong with them (not a “real” man, they’re gay or others perceive him as gay, asexual, etc).”

We are raised in a double-bind. We constantly receive messages that women are too weak to protect themselves, but they are also held extremely responsible for other people’s violence towards them. We are also led to believe that men should not have to protect themselves from sexual assault but, like women, are held accountable if they are sexually assaulted. Both are lies. Additionally, the stories of survivors who do not identify as men or women are erased by the idea that sexual assault is only something that can happen to women.

Consent (10-15 minutes) There are many ways that we may respect our partners, but in the end, mutual consent is what makes the difference between a sexual assault and a mutually enjoyed sexual experience. If and when you choose to become sexually active, consent is an extremely important topic to think about no matter your gender.

Values Continuum: In order to help us think about this more carefully, we’re going to do an exercise looking at our values around consent and sexual assault. I will read some statements aloud, and you should decide whether you agree, disagree, or are unsure. If you agree with this statement, you should stand on the left hand side of the room. If you disagree with this statement, stand on the right hand side of the room. If you are unsure, you can stand in the middle. Once you’ve made your decision, we’ll ask some of you to explain why you agree, disagree, or are unsure. We’d like you to respond honestly, not just say what you think we want to hear or go along with what everyone else says when you believe something different. So that means we’re asking you to take some risks. Does anyone have any questions?

Statement #1: In some situations, a “No” to a sexual invitation or advance, could mean, “Yes.”

Consent isn’t about what someone “means”, it’s about what they make clear. When someone says “No,” it is your responsibility to listen.

It’s your job to make sure you have a “yes” before doing anything.

Clear communication is important to make sure your partner is consenting.

Miscommunication is a myth because it’s your responsibility to make sure you have clear, freely given

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√ Remember, just because they had sex before, it doesn’t mean one of them can’t say “no” in the future.

consent. Rape is about a perpetrator ignoring what they were told.

Statement #2: A person who wears tight and revealing clothing has some responsibility if they are raped.

Only the perpetrator is responsible for the rape. The victim did nothing to deserve it.

People may dress a certain way to feel/be found attractive, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they want to have sex.

Is this victim-blaming statement more commonly said of everyone or a specific group of people? Why?

Additionally, think of an outfit you own that makes you feel attractive -- when you put that on, who are you wearing it for? Are you consenting to sex by wearing it?

If people didn’t wear provocative clothing (or do another activity for which people often are blamed for their sexual assault) ever again, would sexual assault still happen?

Statement #3: If someone gets naked with you, that person probably wants to have sex.

There are lots of very nice things that two people can do together naked that may not include traditional sex.

Nudity is not an excuse for rape.

Statement #4: I believe that I need a verbal “Yes” from my partner before engaging in sex.

What if you have been in a long-term relationship together? Consent in a long-term relationship is not an “all-season pass.” No matter how long you’ve been together, consent must be obtained before every sexual activity.

Clear communication is important. A verbal yes may not be necessary, but it is important

to make sure both parties are okay with what is going on.

Scenarios (20 minutes total) Sometimes, we will be faced with situations that are unclear that could potentially lead to sexual assault. We will be focusing on possible choices we have in various situations. But first, we’re going to do some mad libs for our scenarios:

Mad Libs: (1 minute) (Get the answers for all the mad libs before you start the scenarios. Write answers with a dry erase

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marker on the laminated worksheet.) 1. Name of an RSO 2. A clue that someone may be drunk 3. Type of activity that can be done as a couple 4. Name of a class 5. Person’s name 6. Name of a mixed drink 7. Name of an object in a bedroom 8. Time of the day 9. Color

We want to be clear that however you choose to respond when you are confronted with a potential sexual assault – yelling or being quiet, hitting or even sitting still - is resistance. Your resistance is what enables you to survive. Each situation is different and calls for a different action. Only you will know what is right for you in a particular situation. This is not intended to make us re-think past experiences or ask ourselves (or friends), “Why didn’t I do X, Y, or Z?” Remember, when someone is violent towards us, it is never our fault, regardless of what we do (or don’t do). Be an ally to yourself and avoid asking yourself the same victim-blaming questions.

Scenario 1: Intervention (4 minutes)

You and your best friend, Sam, go out to a party. You and Sam run into Chris, someone you know from insert registered student organization (1), and later that night, you see Sam and Chris leaving the party. Chris is insert clue that someone may be drunk (2) and looks really out of it. Sam pulls you aside and says, “I’m gonna get some tonight!” and starts leading Chris back to their dorm. What do you do?

Questions for Discussion

What are some of the challenges/benefits of getting involved?

How can you get involved? How would the conversation change based on how the

group perceives the genders of Sam and Chris? Imagine if you were Chris - would you want someone to

intervene? How would you want them to intervene? Potential Actions

Try engaging Chris. Ask what is going on, how you can help, if they’d like you to call someone, walk with them, etc.

Confront Sam directly.

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√THESE ARE NOT COMPREHENSIVE LISTS! You also do not need to cover everything in the Potential Actions or the Questions for Discussion section. These are to be used as guidance to get the group talking. Reinforce the “Take Home Messages.”

Be indirect. You don’t have to be accusatory (of course, you can if you want to).

Intervene before they get to Chris’ room- you know both of them, so assess how Chris is doing. Do they seem like they knows what is going on? Chris could want to have sex with Sam or they could want to just hang out with Sam. Sam could be about to rape Chris. There are lots of things this could be happening.

Get an RA to intervene for you. Call another mutual friend and see if they can interrupt. It isn’t always “creepy” people who are sexually

aggressive;; frequently, it is “normal” individuals who are behaving in sexually aggressive ways. [Remember: it’s someone that somebody trusted.]

Get creative! Try to create some physical distance between Chris and the assailant. You could say you need help with something and ask Chris to accompany you for a minute.

Take Home Message

If you want to get involved, do it. There are ways you can intervene without putting yourself

in social or physical danger, and without feeling like you’re overstepping your boundaries.

Listen to your instinct.

Scenario 2: Dating Scenario (5 minutes)

You’ve been dating your significant other for about a year. One night after insert couple’s activity (3), they take you back to their place and you wind up in their room. You get nervous when you hear the door lock. Your significant other is standing in the path of the door when they tell you to undress. You’re not in the mood, but you feel like if you say no, a fight is going to happen. What do you do?

Questions for Discussion

What could you do? What is dating abuse?

Dating abuse – pattern of violence used to control an another person

Includes emotional threats, name calling, etc., as well as physical and sexual violence.

What are some of the challenges and benefits to each choice of action?

What could you do before the situation got to this point?

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√ Try to go for the deeper answers- there are easy, simple answers (“break up with them”) but for many these may not be realistic. Try to get them to place themselves in the situation.

√ Point out how the threat of “outing” someone as gay or trans* (to friends, family, etc.) could be used by an abusive partner if applicable

What could you do after the situation is over? Potential Actions

There are a lot of different things that you can do- it all depends on the situation. Each circumstance is going to be unique, and each person is going to feel comfortable doing something else.

You always have a right to say no and not feel threatened (or guilty) for it. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done in the past or what is “expected” of you.

State how you are feeling and make your boundaries clear. Say “No” or “Stop.” Is there someone you can call (on the phone or nearby) for

help? Take Home Message

Abuse is a pattern of intimidation and control. There are two threats here- physical threats and emotional

threats. Be sure to touch on both. Communication is important. There are no easy answers. Someone may say yes because they feel threatened

(physically and emotionally)- this doesn’t mean that what the significant other did was okay.

Coercion can be hard to identify in a relationship, and it probably isn’t the only abusive tactic that may be going on. In abusive relationships, partners may use isolation, name-calling, threats (physical and emotional), and intimidation to try to get their way. No one deserves this abuse, though abusers may try to make their partners believe they do.

Make sure you point out that this situation can occur in both same sex and opposite sex relationships. No matter the persons involved in a relationship, either person can be the victim or perpetrator.

You always have a right to say no. You shouldn’t have to compromise your physical safety

for your well-being, and vice versa. RACES can be a great resource in this situation, too. They

can provide free, confidential counseling, among other things, and are very inclusive of LGBTQ individuals.

Scenario 3 - Party - two parts (7 minutes total)

A) You and your friend Reva go to a party together. You meet up with some people you know from insert class name here (4). You

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√ Sometimes it’s hard for groups to come up with lots of examples. Remind participants that we are born with an instinct to protect ourselves, but some of us were conditioned not to state our boundaries for fear of being labeled. This gets in the way of exploring all of the options we really have in a situation.

see insert person’s name here (5) who lives in the house the party is being held at. You’re having a good time when they approach you and mention that there is insert mixed drink name here (6) in their room and they invite you to come have some. What do you do?

Questions for Discussion

What do you do? What are some of the challenges and benefits to each

choice of action? What could you do if you are Reva? What do you do if you say no and they keeps pressuring

you? What does that tell you about who they are and what their

intentions are? Do “nice people” keep pressuring people? What are some of the challenges or benefits of drinking in

this situation? (e.g., more comfortable, less coordination, etc.)

Potential Actions

Make your choice based on what you’re feeling. Don’t let Reva or insert name tell you what to do.

You can be clear about what you’re going to their room for.

Continue to hang out with insert name, but stay in a public setting.

Drag Reva along with you, or use her as an excuse not to go.

Don’t feel obligated to go- It’s okay to say no. Take Home Message

It’s okay to say no if you don’t want to. It’s also okay to say yes, if you do want to. This could be a dangerous situation, or it could be them

simply giving you gin and tonic, and thus harmless. The moral of the story- follow your instinct. Keep Reva in mind- you can rely on her (to either say no

as an excuse, or to bring her with, or to say “I’m going up, come get me in 10 minutes”)

Real-life situations are much more complex than what is presented here. These solutions may simply not work in other situations.

B) So, let’s say you decided to go to insert person’s name here (5) room with them. You get there, and it turns out they’re not a “nice” person. They try to make you do more than you want to, and they

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√ Remember that rape is about power and control. Peeing on yourself can be a humiliating and disempowering experience and will probably NOT help much in this type of situation.

√ As we’ve mentioned before, victim-blaming runs rampant, even in the criminal justice system. While all strategies to get out of a situation are valid, using a verbal “No” may help a survivor’s case if they decide to report the incident.

end up pushing you against insert object in bedroom here (7). What do you do?

Questions for Discussion

What do you do? What if you start fooling around, and then decide you

don’t want to anymore? Is it ok to say no? (Hint: It’s always your right to say no or yes)

Potential Actions

Active Use anything (truth or lie) that may create an

opening to get distance between the two of you so you can get out. (i.e., “I’m going to vomit!” or “I gotta pee!”)

Saying their name and rape in the same sentence. Saying “No.” Stun and Run- stun them to get to a window so you

can escape. If you use this, it’s not about beating them up- It’s about getting out of the situation.

Yelling, running, kicking, etc. “Gimmicks”- pee on yourself, etc.

Sanity survival Disassociating from the situation / freezing Physical safety vs. emotional well-being

Whatever happens, it should be assumed that a person faced with a situation like this did whatever they had to in order to survive.

Take Home Message

It’s not your fault- you didn’t make the decision to go further than you wanted to - insert name did.

You consented to a drink, not to sex. Actively resisting is often the most effective way to get

out of a situation. Doing something active helps the survivor regain power in the situation. Contrary to popular belief, this does NOT make assailants more violent; it restores power to the survivor and helps her to end the situation.

Inaction is okay—it’s a choice that sometimes reduces potential harm.

Questions to ask to promote discussion: Do you always have to do something active?

The end result is going to be different for each person. Life is not a scenario- this means there’s no set answer.

It’s not “If you do A, B, and C, then he’ll do D, E, and F,

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√ This may be a difficult scenario for many people. Some won’t want to believe they could be in this situation. Others could be traumatized by the thought.

√ RACES, the local rape crisis center, offers free and confidential services including a 24-hour hot line, advocates who will go with survivors to the hospital, and free, confidential, information, referrals, support groups, and counseling. √ A Rape Kit, or evidence collection, is done in the ER. It involves collecting physical evidence from the survivor’s body in hopes of finding forensic evidence of the perpetrator. The kit involves: clothing worn during the assault, hair combings, vaginal/anal/penile swabs, and documentation of any injuries - bruising, tearing, bite marks, etc

and you’ll do G, and get out.” There is no simple solution.

Scenario 4: Violation (7 minutes)

You woke up at insert time here (8). You’re naked on a strange bed with insert color here (9) sheets in a strange room. You’re not sure what happened, but you feel confused, scared and violated. What do you do?

Questions for Discussion What could you do? What could you do right now? What could you do in the future? What could you do if you think you’ve had a date rape

drug slipped? Potential Actions

In the immediate situation Get out. Start taking control back, however you choose to

do that. There are resources out there (on the card that we pass out

at the end) that you can go to for help. You have options, and resources to go to (Highlight Rape

Advocacy Counseling and Education Services, or RACES 24-hour hotline)

There are medical care options you can choose, including Have evidence collected (aka a rape kit) if you

want to report to police A general exam by a doctor just to treat injuries Emergency contraception STI testing and medical treatment You can do these both in an emergency room

(where the police will have to be called but you DO NOT have to talk or report to them) or you can have these done by another doctor, like at McKinley’s Women’s clinic.

What’s paid for? Any ER services related to treatment for

assault/evidence collection, but they’ll ask for your insurance first

Date Rape Drugs Date Rape Drugs get out of your system

incredibly quickly. Even if you were slipped a drug, it may not be detected when you get the test done.

DRD testing is only paid for if it leads to

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√ We cannot recommend one hospital over another! It’s OK to talk about the differences, (SANE’s at Carle), but we cannot tell people which one they should go to. √ For each of these, ask participants to share resources that they know about. Inform them of other activities, organizations, etc. they may not know about.

prosecution. There are reporting options

Police (UIPD, Champaign, Urbana) UIUC Office for Student Conflict Resolution Advocates from RACES can accompany a survivor

to make a report If a survivor a goes to the hospital the police will

usually be called, but the survivor can chose not to speak with them

Reporting may help a survivor regain control There are emotional options

Counselors Friends and family It is normal to not be “all better” in a few weeks Focus on healing

Take Home Message

It’s not your fault Sometimes we do all the right things, and something

happens anyway. Unfortunately, it’s always a threat. Just because you don’t remember doesn’t make it any less

traumatic. Don’t let others redefine the situation for you. Having a regrettable sexual experience (one which was

consensual, but perhaps embarrassing) is different than rape.

Control was taken away from you, but there are things you can do to get it back. You have options! You have choices you can make.

These are your choices. You don’t have to do anything if that’s going to be better for you.

It’s normal to be bothered by this- this is emotionally upsetting. It’s a trauma.

Although some scenarios here involve perpetrators who are male, it is important to remember that most men are not sexually aggressive. The truth of the matter is, anyone can perpetuate sexually aggressive behaviors. That is all the more reason why we all must work together to speak out against rape.

We’ve talked a lot about things you can do in individual situations. But if we want rape to stop, if we don’t want to end up in those situations, we need to think bigger. Join a group, get involved, take a class, or you can just challenge the people in your life. When someone makes a rape joke, or tries to minimize the seriousness of sexual violence, say something. People don’t want to be considered

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“pro-rape.” Pointing out a rape joke can help them change their behavior.

To stop sexual violence, we need to form partnerships with the people in our lives and take a stand together. Because of this, we’re going to come back together as a larger group now and talk about some additional resources to address sexual violence.

Before we do, does anyone have any questions?

√ Give the participants time to let this sink in. (This stat comes from the National Crime Victims Survey, 2011)

VII. Resources & Activism (5 minutes) Resources: While we’ve been talking, 57 women and 3 men have been sexually assaulted somewhere in the U.S. Someone is raped every two minutes. Think about it - someone’s mother;; father;; grandmother;; sister;; brother;; friend;; lover. Until rape ends, it’s important that we continue to discuss actions we can take to eliminate sexual violence. We would like to spend this last few minutes talking about resources for survivors on campus and brainstorming ways that each of us can get involved. Right now, we are handing out safety cards that contain some of the information we’ve talked about, as well as some useful services for survivors of sexual assault. On both sides, there’s a list of resources that you may want to keep in mind. There are two places here we would like to highlight. Remember when we talked about the Women’s Resources Center? This is the sexual assault and domestic violence response office on campus for students of all genders. The WRC offers supportive counseling and helps survivors and supporters navigate the criminal justice and medical systems, and can even connect them with other resources. So, if someone has experienced a sexually violent event, sexual harassment, or dating violence OR if they just have questions about how they can help a friend, they can contact the Women’s Resources Center. Another resource we mentioned is Rape Advocacy Counseling & Education Services (RACES). This is a community run organization that has a 24-hour hotline that anyone can call, whether you are a survivor, support person, or just have a question. Often, emergencies do not happen between 9-5, but require assistance in the middle of the night. Trained advocates are on-call to answer the hotline, go with a victim to the hospital for a medical exam, or even

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help students through the criminal justice system. Additionally, RACES staff provides free, confidential counseling for both survivors and supporters. Both RACES and WRC offer services to everyone, regardless of gender. Being informed is one of the best ways we can help a survivor of sexual assault. Be patient, and remember you are not a counselor. You are there to provide information and support, but not take on the full responsibility of someone’s healing process. If you, as a supporter, are finding yourself burnt out, it may be important for you to find someone that you can talk to. Both the Women’s Resources Center and RACES provide confidential support, which means that supporters can access help without feeling like they are breaking the victim’s trust. Risk Reduction: There are many different things we can do to prevent and deter sexual assault, some of it individually and some of it as a community. We’ve already discussed the importance of watching out for your friends and finding a way to intervene during potentially harmful situations, but there are other ways to keep you and your friends safe. Two more campus resources we’d like to point out to you on your safety cards are SafeWalks and MTD Safe Rides. SafeWalks is a courtesy service provided to University of Illinois students, faculty, or staff, so that they do not have to walk alone within the campus area. SafeRides is a limited MTD service that provides safe transportation for individuals when no other means of safe transportation is available. Additionally, the University of Illinois Police Department offers RAD self-defense courses. The Rape Aggression Defense System is a comprehensive course for women and women-identified students that begins with awareness, prevention, risk reduction and avoidance, while progressing on to basic hands-on defense training. The men’s RAD program is called Resisting Aggression with Defense which emphasizes de-escalating situations in which students may find themselves, viable defensive tools, and challenging societal expectations of men in order to make their environment safer. Getting Involved: In addition, speaking out and challenging behaviors that we may see that support rape is extremely important. Most of us will never stumble across a sexual assault in progress, but it is much, much more likely that our chance at intervention lies in challenging rape supportive attitudes. [Question] What are

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√ Each facilitator should take a minute to share examples of things he/she has done on this campus to prevent sexual violence. √ Ask participants to share resources that they know about. Inform them of other activities, organizations, etc. they may not know about. Additional questions can be referred to The Women’s Resources Center.

some ways we can do this?

SPEAK OUT: Address comments that say victims are to blame for

being sexually assaulted Ask why someone thinks a rape joke is funny Use humor to point out how ridiculous rape-

supportive ideas are Stand up for the rights of victims of sexual assault

EDUCATION:

Take the CARE Class (contact Molly McLay, Assistant Director of the Women’s Resources Center, at mclay1@illinois.edu if you’re interested)

Read articles or books about sexual assault, rape culture, feminism, and/or masculinity

Attend other educational events such as ManTalks Educate friends and people you know in your family

or classes Challenge jokes or comments about rape which only

serve to let it continue.

ACTIVISM: Volunteer at RACES. Get involved in Sexual Assault Awareness Month

in April. Get involved with Domestic Violence Awareness

Month in October. Write letters to organizations and shops which

promote sexism. Speak out when something bothers you in the

community or on campus which may contribute to an atmosphere that promotes sexual assault.

Join a campus/community group that works to end sexual violence and inequality such as the National Organization of Women (NOW), Amnesty International, Sexual Health Peers, and other RSO’s on campus that work to combat rape culture and sexual violence.

Closing: There’s no way we could have discussed all the issues and concerns which came up today, so we encourage you to continue these discussions with your friends and acquaintances, and also get involved in some of the classes, programs and activism we’ve discussed. The information you’ve learned in this workshop will only be helpful if you can integrate it into your own personal

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√ Wait until workshop is finished to hand out attendance sheet.

life. Before you leave, think about a commitment that you could make to end sexual violence, even something as simple as continuing this discussion with friends and roommates and challenging opinions about rape. Attendance: There is an attendance sheet going around, which you must sign. And remember, if we can’t read your writing it could result in you not being counted as here when you were. If you want to find out how you can get involved in the CARE program or if you have any comments or questions, we’ll be hanging around for a few minutes, so please come and talk to us. Thank for your participation!

References SECTION I “From research, we know that 95% of all sexual violence against women is committed by men.”

-- Violence Against Women,” Bureau of Justice Statistics, United States Department of Justice, 2013. http://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/fvsv9410.pdf

“Males were victims in 9% of all sexual violence.”

-- “Violence Against Women,” Bureau of Justice Statistics, United States Department of Justice, 2013. http://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/fvsv9410.pdf

“Male-on-male rapists either self-identified or were perceived by their victim as heterosexual.” -- Scarce, Michael. Male on Male Rape: The Hidden Toll of Stigma and Shame. Perseus Books: 1997.

-- CHRISTOPHER P. KREBS ET AL., THE CAMPUS SEXUAL ASSAULT STUDY FINAL REPORT xiii, 5-5. (Nat’l. Criminal Justice Reference Service, Oct. 2007), available at http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/grants/221153.pdf.

“The average age that a survivor experiences a sexual assault on this campus is 18 ½ years.”

-- Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault “Acquaintance Rape Fact Sheet” http://www.icasa.org/docs/aquaintancerape.pdf

“Remember, when giving the statistics on rape, this refers to the number of women who reported on an anonymous survey that someone did something to them that, if legally defined, constituted rape– not the number who report to the police and not the number who label their experiences as rape.”

-- Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault “Acquaintance Rape Fact Sheet” http://www.icasa.org/docs/aquaintancerape.pdf

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“About 80% of assaults are committed by someone the survivor knows – a date, a partner, a co-worker, or someone he or she met at a party. Stranger rapes do happen, but they are not the most common situation.”

-- Tjaden, P, Thoennes N. “Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey.” Washington (DC): National Institute of Justice, 2000.

“Most of the time, victims and perpetrators are the same race.”

-- National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey: 2010 Summary Report.” http://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/pdf/NISVS_Report2010-a.pdf

-- Lisak, D., & Miller, P. M. (2002). Repeat rape and multiple offending among undetected rapists. Violence and Victims, 17(1), 73-84. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1891/vivi.17.1.73.33638

“In Illinois, sexual assault is legally defined as sexual penetration by force or threat of force.”

-- Illinois Criminal Code 720 ILCS 5/11‑ 1.20 (was 720 ILCS 5/12‑ 13) http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?DocName=072000050HArt.+11+Subdiv.+5&ActID=1876&ChapterID=53&SeqStart=14565625&SeqEnd=15150000

“Other sexual conduct that occurs with force or threat of force but does not involve penetration falls under the same criminal code, but is defined as ‘sexual abuse.’”

-- Illinois Criminal Code 720 ILCS 5/11‑ 1.50 (was 720 ILCS 5/12‑ 15) http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?DocName=072000050HArt.+11+Subdiv.+5&ActID=1876&ChapterID=53&SeqStart=14565625&SeqEnd=15150000

“Under this policy, sexual misconduct includes ‘any sexual activity that does not involve the knowing consent of each individual, expressed verbally or otherwise.’”

-- ARTICLE 1 STUDENT RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES, Part 3. Student Discipline § 1-302 Rules of Conduct, Part B http://admin.illinois.edu/policy/code/article1_part3_1-302.html

SECTION II “As Marge Piercy’s Rape Poem says, ‘There is no difference between being raped / and going headfirst through a windshield / except afterward you are afraid / not of cars / but half the human race.’”

-- Piercy, Marge (1982). “Rape Poem.” Circles on the Water New York, NY: Alfred Knopf

“Men who rape men usually identify as heterosexual.”

-- Scarce, Michael. Male on Male Rape: The Hidden Toll of Stigma and Shame. Perseus Books: 1997.

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SECTION III “Men on college campuses are sexually assaulted. In about 5% of all sexual assaults, the victim is a man. They deserve our support and compassion, too.”

-- National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey: 2010 Summary Report.” http://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/pdf/NISVS_Report2010-a.pdf

“In the vast majority of cases, the perpetrator is a man who identifies as heterosexual, although men can be raped within same-sex relationships or by women, as well.”

-- Scarce, Michael. Male on Male Rape: The Hidden Toll of Stigma and Shame. Perseus Books: 1997.

SECTION IV “Only about 5% of college women report their assault to the police, at least in part because they are told that the rape was their fault.”

-- Fisher, Bonnie S., Francis T. Cullen, and Michael G. Turner. (2000). The sexual victimization of college women. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice, National Institute of Justice. www.ncjrs.org/pdffiles1/nij/182369.pdf

“Statistics show that people rarely lie about being raped. Only 1-2% of cases reported to law enforcement are made up.”

-- Bureau of Justice Statistics. “National Criminal Victimization Survey 2009” http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/content/pub/pdf/cv09.pdf

“Statistically, you are more likely to be falsely accused of murder than sexual assault.”

-- Bureau of Justice Statistics. “National Criminal Victimization Survey 2009” http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/content/pub/pdf/cv09.pdf

“You are no more likely to be falsely accused of rape than you are of homicide, robbery, or other felony crimes.”

-- Bureau of Justice Statistics. “National Criminal Victimization Survey 2009” http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/content/pub/pdf/cv09.pdf

SECTION V “Additionally, alcohol is not the only factor in sexual assault, but alcohol has been found to play a role in about 75% of sexual assaults on college campuses.”

-- Abbey, A., L. Thomson Ross, D. McDuggie, & P. McAuslan. (1996). Alcohol and dating risk factors for sexual assault among college women. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 20, 147-169.

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“If students would like more information on “date rape drugs,” refer them to the OWP website on the safety card.”

-- http://www.mckinley.illinois.edu/handouts/drug_facilitated_sexual_assault.htm “Remember, in Illinois, sexual assault laws are gender neutral.”

-- Illinois Criminal Code 720 ILCS 5/11‑ 1.20 (was 720 ILCS 5/12‑ 13) http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?DocName=072000050HArt.+11+Subdiv.+5&ActID=1876&ChapterID=53&SeqStart=14565625&SeqEnd=15150000

SECTION VII

-- U.S. Department of Justice. National Crime Victimization Survey. 2006-2010. http://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/fvsv9410.pdf