Funny English Mistakes From Around the World by InnocentEnglish.com AWAY! Funny restaurant Signs Our great food will never leave you! It will take about 1 minute to fix a hot drink. Please wail. We serve people like you as good food! Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. Special today -- no ice cream. CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER. Colorful dining space surrounded by stained glasses." Sign in a cafeteria: Please keep chair on position and keep table cleaned after dying. On cash register: Sorry. We can not change. Outside a tailor shop: Ladies have fits upstairs. In an advertisement by adentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists. In an airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions. In azoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you haveany suitable food,give it to the guard on duty. Babysitting ad by college students: "Please call us! We will provide you with any emergency." Private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION. Signs on trash cans in an amusementpark: PLEASE WASTE! Sign in a train station: For restrooms, go back toward your behind. A flush button in subway toilet: You lady will push this button before leaving. River highway sign: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

Funny English Mistakes From Around the World

by InnocentEnglish.com

http://www.fortunecity.com/lavendar/poitier/135/bahengsh.wav

English ClassWhat's the point?2Four years of this...seriously!?You're probably thinking this right now.

3And you're probably not alone.4How many of you think English class is unneccessary since you already know how to read and write in English?5And you have a good point.If you never took another English class from this day forward, you would have the basic skills needed to get by in some jobs.

But6You would struggle if you: Plan to go to college Plan to earn a living Want to better understand other subjects (like math, science, history) Want to form educated opinions on world events and issues Want to become a critical thinker

7In order to achieve these things 8You'll learn to effectively communicate with your peers.

9You'll find creativity you never knew you had.

Soft written by Mitch M., March 2010

Dead written by Missy A., Feb. 201010You'll be exposed to great literature

11You'll learn to write various types of essays, responses, documents--incorporating technology, of course.

12Blah...blah...blah....

Your brains have already shut down now, right!?

13

So... here's the REAL reason you need English class:Because all that previous stuff--while vital to your educational success--sounds BORING.14So you don't look like an idiot, like these folks...15

The difference one comma can makeThe pecans are just the added bonus!16Or the placement of punctuation.

Please dont smoke your food or your pet! 17A customer ordered a cake from Walmart and told the decorator to write Best Wishes Suzanne and then underneath that We will Miss You. And heres what the customer got

18Unfortunately, even the college educated and professionals forget essential editing skills learned in English class.

Id like to buy a vowel, Pat.Well, Ill need a few19Signs Found Around the WorldA sign in a Norwegian cocktail lounge: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN AT THE BAR.

Sign in a Tokyo taxi cab:

PLEASE FASTEN SEATBELT TO PREPARE FOR CRASH.

Sign in a Paris hotel: PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK

In an airline ticket office:

We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Seen outside a tailor shop: Ladies have fits upstairs. In a restaurant:

We serve people like you as good food!

Sign in a cafeteria: Please keep chair on position and keep table cleaned after dying.

In azoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you haveany suitable food,give it to the guard on duty.

A sign at a small health clinic: IF YOU SEE A WOMAN LABORING, GO TO A HOSPITAL RIGHT AWAY!On a yellow caution sign: CAREFULLY FALL INTO THE RIVER.

Private school:

NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

Babysitting ad by college students:

"Please call us! We will provide you with any emergency."

In an advertisement by adentist:Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

On a published restaurant reviewColorful dining space surrounded by stained glasses."

Actually said

It is important to me to prevent my children from not smoking.

River highway sign:

TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER,THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

It will take about 1 minute to fix a hot drink.Please wail.

From the instructions on an action figure toy:

BEWARE OF BEING SWALLOWED BY CHILD, DUE TO SMALL PARTS!

In a recipe:Next, put the cabbages in salt water. Then sit in the sink until the morning.

On a blog:Last night friends visited and we served a nice pig dinner.

On cash register: Sorry. We can not change.