Friendship, Love, and Intimacy

Intimacy

Closeness between two individuals

Not the same thing as being intimate. Is an emotional state, rather than a physical one

Four Key Features of IntimacyHook (2003)

Friendship

What is friendship?

What qualities do you look for in a friend?

Describe how intimacy, friendship, and love are related.

What is LOVE?

How do you define love?

Where/When/How have you experienced it?

Binds us together A feeling and an

activity

LovePride and Prejudice

LovePride and Prejudice

InfatuationThe Notebook

InfatuationThe Notebook

Trust Caring Honesty Friendship Respect Concern for other’s well-

being Loyalty Commitment Acceptance of the other Supportive Wanting to be with other Interest in the other

Develops rather rapidly Based on limited

characteristics Based on the emotion itself Is self-centered Is multi-person centered Changes rapidly Loses touch with reality Largely outward or physical Insecure/Insecurities Jealous/Possessiveness

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/love-versus-infatuation-how-to-determine-whether-you-love-him-idea.html

Love vs. Infatuation

The Top 10 Love Myths

1. Love conquers all.

2. If it is true love, you'll know it the instant you meet that person.

3. There is only one true love in the world for you.

4. Your soul mate will fulfill you in every way.

5. When you experience powerful sexual chemistry, it must be love.

6. A fun date, makes a great marriage partner.

7. A couple must be a mirror image of each other for a relationship to work.

8. Love means never having to say you're sorry.

9. Love is a bed of roses.

10. True love feels good always.

Linda Lovejoy, MA, LMHC, Masters in Counseling, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Teleclass Leader, Columnist, Life and Relationship Coach

Primary stylesPrimary styles Secondary stylesSecondary styles

Eros (romantic/passionate)

Ludus (playful/game-playing)

Storge (companionate/friendship)

Mania (l+e= obsessive; love-

hate)

Agape (e+s= altruistic)

Pragma (s+l=

practical/pragmatic)

Lee’s six styles of love

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love

Unrequited Love

The Cyrano Style

The Giselle Style

The Don Quixote Style

Stalking

Multiple Definitions

US Bureau of Justice Statistics

About half (46%) of stalking victims experienced at least one unwanted contact per week, and 11% of victims said they had been stalked for 5 years or more.

Approximately 1 in 4 stalking victims reported some form of cyberstalking such as e-mail (83%) or instant messaging (35%).

Women were at greater risk than men for stalking victimization; however, women and men were equally likely to experience harassment.

http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/abstract/svus.htm

The 2000 National College Women Sexual Victimization Survey found the following

results:

13% of the college women had been stalked since the school year began

80.3% of victims knew or had seen their stalker before

42.4% of stalkers were ex-boyfriends of the victim.

In 15.3% of incidents, the victim reported that the stalker either threatened or attempted to harm them.

Overall, 83.1% of stalking incidents were NOT reported to police or campus law enforcement.

93.4% of victims confided in someone, most often a friend, that they were being stalked.

http://www.umich.edu/~sapac/info/stats-stalking.html

Types of Stalking

Erotomania

Simple obsessional stalking

Love-obsessional stalking