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Essentials for Piloting Relationships
Effective Counselingin the Digital age!
Idaho 5th for divorcePoverty 16.5%
The 3 greatest gifts we can give a child are LOVE, HOPE and HIGH EXPECATIONS
Less frustration
Universal for all situations
Best chance for achieving hope, joy and high achievement
Lead us to have enjoyable, interesting life
Goals of Counseling
Staying out of battles
Rules for battle
Avoid Control battles atalmost all cost
If you MUST have a battle, win it at all costs
Therefore, pick the issue carefully!
This is about a B+ jobReach your potential
Capitalize on Strengths!!
Things we n
ever
say to adults
!
Dreams and Expectations• Henry David Thoreau
If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavors to live the life which one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
• Horace (65 – 8 BC)Life is largely a matter of expectation.
• Sam WaltonHigh expectations are the key to everything.
Child is allowed to be annoying
Adults are put out or frustrated
Child identifies with the adult
Poor Self Image and antiauthoritarian Our
Culture: The Child Centered Home
He tattles.
Can’t teach em to sit up straight
He’s a bully & won’t listen
He feels so helpless
He’s looking to us to come up with some answers
A kid brings a “clock” to school.
I really like him…..
I think he is struggling
Our Expectations drive our perceptions!
Contracting with Parents
Some are educable, some need therapy
No one cares what we think, till they think we know what they think!
Would you like some thoughts/ideas NOT advice/suggestions
I have found some parents receptive, and some not. How do you feel?
Tell me what you have done so we know what doesn’t work.
Have you tried everything that makes sense?
If I have in idea that will work, how do you think it will sound?
Show vs. Tell
“Your mom and I have been doing some heavy thinking……”
1) Are you unhappy?
2) Are you partially responsible?
3) Do you want to change that?
4) Do you want to work hard?
5) Do you want to work hard my way?
Contract for Change…..
Must have a “yes” on each before moving on
Dr. Cline’s Rules for Rescue
1) It’s seldom effective to go more than half way for a problem people have caused themselves.
2) Rescue is ineffective if there is no thank you
3) In our culture, rescue (even with poor results) if life and limb are in danger
1) Every attempt to maintain mutual respect.
2) Students expected to solve their problems without making problems for others.
3) Students are expected to cope with consequences
4) Students are expected to learn from logical consequences.
5) Students are given the right of due process.
6) School problems handled by school; Criminal problems by law enforcement.
Love and Logic Core Discipline
