STEFANIE ROBERTSONBe Happy | Be Healthy | Be Successful

(Or, How to be Happier Right Now!)The Secret Formula of Personal Happiness

“Happinesscomesfromwithin.”“Happinessisajourney,notadestination.”“Happinessdependsuponourselves.”“Mostfolksareashappyastheymakeuptheirmindstobe.”Thereisareasonthatfamousmindsthroughtheages,fromAristotletoAbrahamLincolntopopularpsychologiststoday,agreethathappinessisahabittoberegularlypracticedandnotnecessarilyanaturallyoccurringfeeling.Iknowfirsthandthatagreatcareer,anamazingfamily,fabulousfriends,andnotwantingforanythingdoesnotequalhappiness.Thedailyworkofthrivingisnotequivalenttohappiness.Thisrealizationalonecanmakeyoufeellikeyouhavehitrockbottomandthatyoudon’tdeservetofeelthatwaybecauseofallofthegreatthingsaroundyou.But,I’mheretotellyouthatitisokaythatyoudo,andthatthereissomethingyoucanstartdoingaboutittoday.THISISHUGE!You’vetakenanamazingstepinthepositivedirectionoflivinghappier.We’regoingtocoverthingsthatyoucanstartdoingtodaytobehappier,butjustreadingaboutthemwillnotwork.Youmusttakeaction,evenifitisimperfect.Itmaybehardatfirst,andyoumayfeelasifyouarefailing,butIpromisetheonlywayyoucanfailisbynotdoing,soIneedyoutomakeapromisetoyourself(seebelow).Myhopeisthatthroughthefollowingpagesyoubecomebetterabletoacknowledgeandaffirmyourhappiness,andthatyoubecomethestarofyourhappylife.Behappy,behealthy,besuccessful,StefanieRobertsonSignthisstatement,writeitoutyourselfandpostitaroundthehouse,shoutitfromtherooftopsofsocialmedia,andtellyourbestfriend:IpromisethatIwilltakeimperfectactionandpracticemyhabitofhappinessdailyfocusingonprogressnotperfectioninordertofeelthatIamlivingahappier,healthier,andmoresuccessfullife!____________________________ __________________Signature Date

Nothingseemsworthitifyouaren’thappy,butwhatishappiness?Happinessisrelative,meaningitisdifferentforeveryoneanditisself-defined.Inonetotwosentences,describeyouridealhappiness:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Nowlet’sdiveintothatalittledeeper:truehappinessisNOTdefinedbyexternalfactors,itisSELF-defined.Doesyourdefinitionofhappinessincludeexternalfactors?Example:Yes,Iamalothappierwhenmydaughterishappy,butthroughpractice,IhavelearnedthatIcanbehappyevenwhensheisnotthroughmychoiceofactionsandthoughts.Ifyourdefinitionaboveincludesexternalfactors,crossthemoutandlet’sre-defineYOURidealhappinesshere:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Mydefinition–Happinessisthoughtfullycreatingandexecutingmyday,everyday.Yes,it’sthatsimpleofadefinition,anditdefinitelydoesn’tmeanI’malwayshappy,productive,orontopofmygame,butitdoesmeanthatIacknowledgethatitismychoicesthatultimatelyresultinhowIlookbackandfeelaboutmyday.Beforewediveevendeeperintowhatyourhappinesslookslikeorcoverwaystothoughtfullycreateandexecuteyourday,let’schataboutthe‘TUDEsrequiredtolivehappily–AttitudeandGratitude.

It’seasytotaketheamazingthingsaroundusforgranted,andit’seveneasiertonoticeanddwellonthenegativethingsespeciallyifyouhaveaveryrepetitivedailygrindofnotsopleasantindividualtasks.Mostofushavesomeformofthesetasks,thinkchangingdiapers,foldinglaundry,etc.,andoftenweusethewords“Ihaveto”todescribethenecessityofcompletingsuchtasks.Butwhatif,insteadofsaying“Ihaveto”wesaidthewords“Igetto”?“Igettochangemydaughter’sdiaperbecauseIhaveabeautiful,healthybabywhoiswellfedandhasaproperlyfunctioningbody”hasavery,verydifferentconnotationthan“Ihavetochangemydaughter’sdiaperbecausesheisapoopmachineanditstinksupthewholehouseinmereminutes.”Thefactremainsthatyouaregoingtobechangingastinkydirtydiaper,butitwillbemoretolerableifyoufocusonyourhappy,healthybabythanthenastinessofthetaskathand.Writeout5tasksthatyou“have”todoregularly.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Nowwritethemoutbeginningwith“Igetto”.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Nowthatyouareawareofthiskindofstatement,practicechanging“have”to“get”inyoureverydaylife.

Anotherbighindrancetoourhappinessistime,and“Idon’thavetime”isthebiggestexcusefornotdoingthethingsthatweknowwillmakeushappier.So,let’schangeourthinking.Insteadofsaying“Idon’thavetime,”let’ssay“It’snotapriority.”Writeout5thingsthatyoudon’thavetodothatyoumightliketodobysaying“Idon’thavetimeto…”______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Nowwritethemoutbeginningwith“Itisnotpriorityto…”______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Thereasonthisisimpactfulisbecausewemaketimeforwhatwebelieveisapriority.Forexample,manypeoplesaytheydon’thavetimetoworkoutregularly,but,ifyouchangeitandsay,“It’snotaprioritytoworkoutregularly,”themeaningbehindyourstatementchanges.Allofasuddenyourealizeitneedstobeaprioritytobehealthyandyoustartfindingwaystomaketimeforit.

Anotherimportantfactorofourattitudesisnegativeself-talk;that’sright,weareourownworstcritics.Forexample,whenitcomestomybody,Iamverycriticalofthewaymylegslook.Insteadoffocusingonhowtheymaylooktomeinthemirror,Isaytomyself,“MylegsarestrongandhelpsupportmybodyandgetmewhereIneedtogo.”Writeout5negativethingsyousaytoyourselfonaregularbasis.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Nowgivethemapositivespin.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Thepositivespindoesn’tactuallychangethenegativefeelings.Tofollowmyexampleabove,focusingonthestrengthofmylegsdoesnotchangethefactthatIdon’tlikethewaytheylook,butitdoesremindmetofocusonthegoodandthatdoeshelpalleviatethenegativefeelingswithconsistentpractice.ProTip:Ifyoustruggletobeconsistentwiththesenewmindsettricks,placenotesforyourselfwheretheymostcomeintoplay.Inmylegexample,ImightputanoteonthemirrorIlookinwhenIgetdressed,orinthebabydiaperexample,Imightputanoteonthewipescontainer.

“Ifmymindcanconceiveit,andmyheartcanbelieveit,thenIcanachieveit.”–MuhammadAliLet’srevisityourdefinitionofhappiness.ChancesarewhenIfirstaskedyoutodefinehappinessonthefirstpageofthisworkbook,yourdefinitionrevolvedaround“stuff”orsomethingexternal,andhereiswherethat“stuff”comesintoplay.That“stuff”isactuallyyourGOALS,andnotfeelingasthoughyouhavetheopportunitytoachievethesegoalscanmakeyouveryunhappy.But,andthisisabigbut,itdoesn’texactlyworkinthereverse.WhatImeanis,theimpactofnotachievingyourgoalsisbiggeronyourhappinesslevelthantheimpactofachievingthemunlessyouarepracticingthemindsettrickswejustcovered.Yourhappinessishingedonthelittlestepsyoutakeregularlytoachievethegoalsratherthanfinallyaccomplishingthem.Writeout10goalsyouwouldliketoachieveinthenext12months.Itcanbethingsfrombuyinganewhousetohavingahousekeepereveryotherweekorevenlearninganewlanguage.Itcanevenbeamonetarygoalortojustbehappier.Remember,thesearedreambiggoals,nottasksthatyouhavetocompleteinthenext12months.1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10.Lookingbackoveryourlist,putastarnexttothegoal(ortwo)thatwouldallowyoutoachievemostoftheothergoalsonthelist.Thisisusuallymonetary;inmycase,itwastohaveafulltimeincomeworkingfromhomethatwouldallowmetoachievetheotherthingsonmylist(likenothavingtopayfordaycareafterschoolformydaughter).

ThegoalyouputastarnexttoiscalledyourPushGoal(alaChaleneJohnson–www.30daypush.com),andwillbeyourpriorityandfocus.Theothergoalsonyourlistdon’tgoaway,buttheybecomeyourreasonsforachievingyourpushgoal.Thesearethegoalsyoucandepictonavisionboardorkeepaswish/bucketlistsasmotivators.ProTip:MakeyourvisionboardacombinationofwordsandimagesusingawebsitelikePicMonkey.comandcreateabackgroundforyourphonesoyouseeitregularly!Othergreatplacesarethemirrorwhereyougetreadyeachmorning,andthebackgroundofyourcomputer.Ifyou’reanythinglikeme,youareabouttostopreadingbecauseIjusttoldyouyourhappinessandallyourhopesanddreamsforyourfuturehingeonaccomplishingthisonebig,scary,dauntinggoal.DON’TSTRESS!!IpromisedyouatthebeginningofthisIwouldhelpyoubehappierTODAY,andImeantit,sostaywithme…Here’stheSECRETFORMULA:Allyouhavetodotoachieveyourgoalis2-3smalltasksaday.Yes,Imeanit.That’sit!Ifyouwriteouteverylittletask(5-15minutesworthofworkeach)thatneedstohappeninordertoachieveyourpushgoal,andallyoudoisatleast2-3ofthemadayeveryday,guesswhat–YOUWILLACHIEVEYOURGOALandnotfeeloverwhelmedorstressedalongtheway!!Andthen,allyourothergoalswillalsobeinreach!You’reprobablysaying,“Hmm,thismakessense,butIdon’tseehowitwillmakemehappy.”Well,remembermydefinitionofhappiness?“Happinessisthoughtfullycreatingandexecutingmyday,everyday.”Now,youknowwhy!Ofcourselifeiscrazy,unexpectedthingscomeupandIamdefinitelynotperfect(howboringwouldthatbe!),butbycarefullypicking2-3thingstogetdoneadaythatwillonlytakemearound45minutestotal(whichcanbespreadouttothe15minutesyou’rewaitinginthecarpoollineorforyourcartogetwashedorthewatertoboilonthestove…becreative!),IamsettingmyselfuptohaveasuccessfuldayofcrossingeverythingoffmytodolistthatIsetouttodothatday(andsometimesmorewhenIfindmyselfwithanextra15minutes).ProTip:ThereareTONSoffreetodolistappsthatyoucanusetokeeptrackofyourbigbrainstormlistaswellashaveanothersectionforjustyour“todaytodolist”,butIrecommendstartingbyusingpenandpaper.Itismoregratifyingtoactuallycross

somethingoffwithapenratherthanjusttapalittlecheckboxandthenitdisappearsfromthescreen.Idon’tknowaboutyou,butIamprettyhappywhenIgettocrossoffmyentiretodolistfortheday,andthiscoupledwiththemindsetofhappiness–the‘TUDESwecoveredearlier–makesforsomeprettyawesomereflectionsofmydays.Thekeyisconsistencyinpracticingtheseconceptsregularly.Thereisasayingthatittakes21daystomakeahabitand90daystoturnitintoalifestyle,butIfirmlybelievethatyouwillstartfeelingtheeffectsofhappinesstodayandeverydayifyoukeeppracticing!So,that’sit!Younowhavethesecretformulatostartfeelinghappiertoday!Ihopeyoulearnedsomethingnewthatyoucanstartimplementinginyourdailylife,andIwishyouhappiness,healthandsuccess!FAQ:Whatifmypushgoalisjusttobehappier?I’msogladyouasked!Thereareexactlythreethingsyoucandodailytojustbehappier:focusonyourmind,focusonyourbody,andfocusonyoursoul;inotherwords,learnsomething,exercise,reflect.Thisisthephenomenonofthe“MorningRoutine”which,ifyouaren’tamorningperson,seemscrazy,soIliketocallitthe“HappyMeRoutine”.Everyday(almost),Iworkoutfor30minutesathome,meditatefor10minutes,andreadsomethingfocusedonlearningmoreaboutwhatitisIwanttoimproveaboutmylifefor10minutes.Injust50minutesaday,Ihitthehappinesstrifecta,andbecausetheyareindividualtasks,onhecticdays,Icanevenbreakthemup.ProTip:Unplug/turnoffnotificationsduringyourHappyMeRoutineandwatchtheextraunnecessarydistractionsmeltawaygivingyoumorespacetofocusonyou.HowcanIgetintouchwithyoutolearnmore,givefeedback,orfordailyinspiration?YoucanfindmeonInstagram(team.stefanie.robertson)andFacebook(www.facebook.com/bewellwithstefanie)!