HOW TO IDENTIFY WEAK THESIS STATEMENTSFor college-level, five-paragraph essays

WHAT’S A GOOD THESIS STATEMENT?

must express ONE

main idea about the

topic

(must be RELEVANT to the topic assigned)

must take a stand/ have

a CONTROLLIN

G IDEA/mentio

n specific points of

discussion

(outlining the writer’s opinion, attitude, or

feelings about the topic, or facts regarding it)

Depending on the topic and nature of the essay, must interpret the

significance of the subject matter, OR

answer questions asked, OR

make a claim

must be SUPPORTABLE by at least three points

and sufficient examples

©englishnotes.org

IDENTIFYING WEAK ONESTopic: How is college education in America different from another country?

This essay is going to be on differences in college in America and college in India.

.

Okay, you are simply announcing the topic here. But what points about the topic is your essay going to make? Which aspects of the differences will your essay look at? If you don’t mention that, the thesis statement lacks direction.

no controlling idea/no

indication of author’s stand

on the issue

©englishnotes.org

Topic: How is college education in America different from another country?

This essay will talk about the differences between American and Indian education system.

Education system is too broad a term to use in a thesis statement. This does not clearly indicate if the essay is going to consider schools, or colleges, or higher education; it does not indicate which aspects of the system in both countries will be considered to highlight the differences: teaching methods? teacher-student relationships? Facilities?

too broad/no controlling idea

©englishnotes.org

Topic: How is college education in America different from another country?

I am going to talk about how teachers in America are different than teachers in India.

This is too narrow for a thesis statement. Would you be able to generate three substantial, sufficiently varied points to support this statement? Probably not. This statement does not give you enough room to develop a well-supported composition with enough examples or discussion-generating content.

too narrow

©englishnotes.org

Topic: How is college education in America different from another country?

Things are different in India than America.

Yes, granted. But of the numerous differences in all imaginable areas, what exactly will your essay look at? This sentence is directionless and serves no function in furthering, supporting or enhancing the content of the essay.

vague

©englishnotes.org

Topic: How is college education in America different from another country?

College education in India is different from that in America.

That is pretty obvious. But which aspects would your essay focus on? Any indication of the areas of differences that your essay will look at will give the thesis statement some clear features. Otherwise, it is like merely restating the topic in different words and therefore purposeless.

obvious

©englishnotes.org

Topic: How is college education in America different from another country?

Are colleges in America different from colleges in India?

This is merely restating the topic without either making a statement about it or indicating any probable direction that the essay will take. It is not a thesis statement at all, but an unnecessary rhetorical question that serves no purpose in establishing meaning or furthering argument.

invalid

©englishnotes.org

CHECKLISTDoes the thesis statement pass the ‘so what’ test?

If, after reading your thesis statement, the reader’s first response is ‘so what?’ then you need to clarify your claim or stand, show a relationship, or connect to a larger issue. If your thesis statement fails the ‘so what?’ test, it means that your statement is too obvious and lacks a controlling idea. Does the thesis statement answer ‘why’ or ‘how’ satisfactorily?If, after reading your thesis statement, the reader still wonders ‘why’ or ‘how,’ then you need to revise it to indicate the lines of argument you will be taking up in the body of the essay, or the proof you will be using to support your claim.

©englishnotes.org

IDENTIFY WHY EACH OF THE FOLLOWING THESIS SENTENCES IS POORLY FORMED

1. Obesity is a big problem. Check your answer2. The average age of first-time mothers is

approximately twenty-eight years old. Check your answer

3. There are many ways of improving one’s English proficiency skills. Check your answer

4. In my opinion, students must do part-time jobs while studying. Check your answer

5. Is technology a boon or a bane? Check your answer

©englishnotes.org

Why is example 1 a poor thesis statement?

Problem: Obvious. Suggested revision: Obesity affects a person’s health, lifestyle choices, and emotional wellbeing. OR Obesity, often caused by unhealthy lifestyle choices, has physical, emotional, and financial impacts.

©englishnotes.org

What’s wrong with example 2?

Problem: Too narrow. Suggested revision: Many couples are choosing to remain childless for several reasons, which include career and lifestyle choices.

©englishnotes.org

What’s wrong with example 3?

Problem: No controlling idea/vague.Possible revision: This essay will focus on ways of improving English proficiency skills through attending language lessons, volunteering, and using the media.

©englishnotes.org

Analyzing example 4

Problem: No controlling idea. A better way: Because they can earn, enhance job-related skills, as well as build profession-related network, part-time jobs often prove to be an advantage for students.

©englishnotes.org

What’s wrong with example 5?

Problem: InvalidA better way: Although over-dependence on or misuse of technology can result in harmful effects, technological advancement can overall be seen as a boon to mankind. ORAlthough there are problems related to misuse, abuse, or over-dependence, technology has been a tremendous help to mankind, especially in the fields of healthcare, education, and science.

©englishnotes.org