Focused Focused EditingEditing

The Usual SuspectsThe Usual Suspects

Comma SplicesComma Splices cscs• What are they?What are they?• How do you look for them?How do you look for them?

I decided to read the poem again, the I decided to read the poem again, the second reading confirmed my suspicion second reading confirmed my suspicion that the speaker was female. that the speaker was female.

I decided to read the poem again, I decided to read the poem again, the the second reading confirmed my suspicion second reading confirmed my suspicion that the speaker was female. that the speaker was female.

I decided to read the poem againI decided to read the poem again, the , the second reading confirmed my suspicion second reading confirmed my suspicion that the speaker was female. that the speaker was female.

I decided to read the poem again; the I decided to read the poem again; the second reading confirmed my suspicion second reading confirmed my suspicion that the speaker was female. that the speaker was female.

I decided to read the poem again, and I decided to read the poem again, and the second reading confirmed my the second reading confirmed my suspicion that the speaker was female. suspicion that the speaker was female.

FragmentsFragments fragfrag• What are they?What are they?• How do you look for them?How do you look for them?

I hadn’t noticed how Olds used the I hadn’t noticed how Olds used the word “scar” to describe the young word “scar” to describe the young man’s shoelaces. Even though I’d man’s shoelaces. Even though I’d read the poem many times. read the poem many times.

The Usual SuspectsThe Usual Suspects

I hadn’t noticed how Olds used the I hadn’t noticed how Olds used the word “scar” to describe the young word “scar” to describe the young man’s shoelaces. Even though I’d read man’s shoelaces. Even though I’d read the poem many times. the poem many times.

Tricky Starts:Tricky Starts:• AlthoughAlthough• Even thoughEven though• BecauseBecause• SinceSince• WhileWhile

I hadn’t noticed how Olds used the I hadn’t noticed how Olds used the word “scar” to describe the young word “scar” to describe the young man’s shoelaces, even though I’d read man’s shoelaces, even though I’d read the poem many times. the poem many times.

Even though I’d already read the poem Even though I’d already read the poem many times, I hadn’t noticed how Olds many times, I hadn’t noticed how Olds used the word “scar” to describe the used the word “scar” to describe the young man’s shoelaces. young man’s shoelaces.

The Usual SuspectsThe Usual Suspects

Easily-Confused WordsEasily-Confused Wordsto, two, tooto, two, toowere, wherewere, whereyour, you’reyour, you’rethere, their, they’rethere, their, they’reits, it’sits, it’s

could of, should of, would ofcould of, should of, would ofcould could havehave, should , should havehave, would , would havehave

The Usual SuspectsThe Usual Suspects

Commas around Essential ClausesCommas around Essential Clauses ,,• What are they?What are they?• How do you look for them?How do you look for them?

The poem, that I analyzed for the essay, The poem, that I analyzed for the essay, was Sharon Olds’ “On the Subway.”was Sharon Olds’ “On the Subway.”

Olds’ poem, “On the Subway,” is Olds’ poem, “On the Subway,” is about a woman considering the politics about a woman considering the politics of race. of race.

The poemThe poem, that I analyzed for the essay,, that I analyzed for the essay, was Sharon Olds’ “On the Subway.”was Sharon Olds’ “On the Subway.”

Olds’ poemOlds’ poem, “On the Subway,”, “On the Subway,” is is about a woman considering the politics about a woman considering the politics of race. of race.

– Olds provides us with no access to the Olds provides us with no access to the thoughts of the “boy,” who wears his thoughts of the “boy,” who wears his shoelaces like “intentional scars.” shoelaces like “intentional scars.”

– Olds provides us with no access to the Olds provides us with no access to the thoughts of the “boythoughts of the “boy,” who wears his ,” who wears his shoelaces like “intentional scars.”shoelaces like “intentional scars.”