Focus Areas for the Student Essays

Who/That – There’s a difference!

• Who:– Refers to people,

humans, individuals

• That:– Refers to objects,

things, groups, places

• There is not one person that can be trusted.

• Julia is the girl that Winston initially despises.

• The few rebels that do exist are always caught.

• It is the red sash that defines her existence.

Using a semi-colon PROPERLY…

• To join two complete sentences that deal with related ideas.

• To separate items in a list when commas would be confusing [a “super” comma]

• 1984 describes the life of Winston; a man living in a world of limitations.

• There is always one universal image; which is placed on every wall.

• The members act in the same manner throughout the day; except during the Two Minutes Hate.

I have visited Tokyo, Japan; Madrid, Spain; and Rome, Italy.

Extended Quotes!!!!!!!!!!!

• Check quote alignment

• DOUBLE indent• Period BEFORE

citation• No quotation marks• Proper lead-in

needed

QI All of the women thought that it would be a shame to embark on a new adventure considering the men had such a significant head start, and they had no possibility of catching up, let alone

overcoming them. (Jones 42)

Therefore, it was only natural that….

Limit use of PASSIVE VOICE• Winston is led to believe

that O’Brien is his savior.• Winston is tortured by

O’Brien. {Winston’s torture}

• After Winston and Julia are caught in the middle of their illegal affair… {capture}

• O’Brien is believed to be part of the Brotherhood.

• He thinks he cannot be touched. {untouchable}

Correction Strategies:

*Eliminate

*Reverse Sentence Order

*Change verb

*Verb your noun or Noun your verb

And last but not least…

Quote should not just reiterate lead-in:

• Even the mail is monitored: “By routine that is not even secret, all letters are opened in transit” (92).

• O’Brien reveals that he had been indoctrinated years prior: “’They got me a long time ago,’ said O’Brien” (197).

Comma before “and” in a compound sentence

• Winston is not a strong judge of character, and is often wrong about the people he observes.

• Big Brother knew this as well, and was able to stop a revolution from happening.

There should be an INDEPENDENT clause before/after the “and”