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A family focused publication found in Milton, Ontario, anywhere families have wait times. Featuring small businesses and advice from local experts in the community. Available in print and online.
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SUMMER | 2015
PRICELESS
Commitment and Sacrifices:
WHAT CHAMPIONSARE MADE OF
MENTAL HEALTH DIAGNOSIS: Friend or Foe?
MoneyFOR NOTHNG
MENTAL HEALTH DIAGNOSIS: MENTAL HEALTH DIAGNOSIS:
NO TENT? NO RV? No Problem!
Friend or Foe?Friend or Foe?Life Change CHALLENGE WINNER
O X Y G E N I S M O V I N G ! !
J O I N O U R T E A M T O D A Y !3 0 D A Y S F O R $ 3 0
NEW MEMBER PROMO
P I L A T E S | Y O G A | S U R F S E T | T R X | Z U M B AB O O T C A M P F U S I O N | O U T D O O R B O O T C A M P
P I L A T E S T I C K | B A R R E | K I C K B O X I N G T R X / Y O G A F U S I O N | M O M & B A B Y P I L A T E S
M O M & B A B Y B O O T C A M P | P R E N A T A L Y O G AK I D S D R U M F I T | R U N N I N G C L U B
5 1 7 - 5 1 9 M A I N S T R E E T E , M I LT O N , O N T A R I O
www.oxygenpilates.ca | 416.816.3136
G R A N DO P E N I N GJ U N E 7
5 1 7 - 5 1 9 M A I N S T R E E T E , M I LT O N , O N T A R I O
www.oxygenpilates.ca N E W
MessageFROM THE PUBL ISHER
CONTENTSNo Tent? No RV? No Problem!......................2
Childhood Anxiety: 101................................4
No More Empty Promises...........................6
Mental Health Diagnosis: Friend or Foe?.....8
Money For Nothing....................................10
Family Fun In Milton Events........................16
Why Is Communication With Your Loved Ones so Difficult?....................................18
Commitment and Sacrifices:What Champions Are Made Of....................22
All editorial content is the property of Family Matters in Milton Magazine and cannot be reprinted in part or in whole without the written permission of the Publisher. All rights reserved. The Publisher reserves the right to reuse content and may reuse content in other media forms for the purpose of promotion of the Magazine or the Advertisers. The Pubisher does not necessarily endorse the products or services advertised. The publisher makes all efforts to ensure that information is current and accurate. However, the Pubisher does not assume liability for errors or omissions. All content is meant for information purposes only. For medical advise, please see your medicial professional.
Hello Readers!
I am grateful you’ve picked up yet another issue of Family Matters in Milton. It is with great pride that I bring you this family focused publication. It has been two and half years since I mustered up the courage to do this; I have never
looked back! The reward for me has always been the friendships I have made along the way. I connect well with entrepreneurs, and I admire their work ethic and the integrity with which they run their small businesses. Helping them promote their businesses is what comes most naturally to me. Miltonians have believed in this publication from the very first issue. The readers and advertisers have shown me their support, and I work very hard everyday to continue to earn your trust.
As a community, you have encouraged me to step outside my comfort zone and expand my business to other communities. I have had countless conversations with many clients and readers about expansion. I am pleased to announce that on August 1, 2015, Family Matters in Oakville will be born! The expansion is the next natural step. I have been meeting with small business owners in Oakville for a couple of months and have experienced the same positive vibes there that I received in Milton. I want to take this opportunity to sincerely thank Miltonians for your outstanding support and encouragement. I continue to look forward to your feedback and to connecting with you both on social media and in person around town!
A huge heartfelt thank you,
Susana [email protected] | 647.407.5540
Jenia Medeiros, Photographer
Kendra Guidolin, Editor
Lynn Lockhart,Designer
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A special thanks to the following individuals for their part in making sure my photo was magazine ready.
Julie Rock of Julie Rock Photography for creating a beautiful and comfortable space where you were able to capture beautiful images, that I will forever cherish! facebook.com/JulieRockPhotography?fref=ts
Sarah Johnston of Total Skin and Body for executing precisely what I asked for with my hairstyle. Welcome to Milton girl! You are going to be loved here! totalskinandbodyspa.com/
Eva D’Angelo for making me look like a better, but just as natural version of me. I do not wear makeup on an every day basis. I said,“Make me look like me.” Thank you for understanding what that meant! facebook.com/pages/Makeup-by-Eva-DAngelo/1524024317844345
2 F A M I L Y M A T T E R S | S U M M E R 2 0 1 5
Thankfully there’s an option much closer to home that’s perfect for those times you need a stress-free break from it all. Staycation-
style camping is ideal for young families, with the practical benefi ts adding up to an easy and relaxing getaway for all. Here are the top 5 reasons why your family should consider a local camping trip to Campbellville’s Toronto West KOA this season:
1. TRAVEL: Popular camping spots of the past often meant driving a few hours up North to the middle of nowhere. But the idea of sitting in a hot, packed car with climbing summer gas prices and fi ghting weekend traffi c out of the city is enough to put a stop to a trip before it even begins. Remember how long four hours in the car felt when you were a kid? Kicking off your vacation on a more carefree note with a short travel time sets the mood for a positive getaway.
2. TIME: It’s a fact – the summer months book up quickly. The whole season can easily fl y by with no time left to get away. Camping close to home means it’s your decision to stay longer or shorter as other commitments allow, and you can just as easily take off from home on a whim if other plans fall through.
Reserve and show up on the same day! Squeezing in the time for a relaxing getaway is a luxury local camping affords you.
3. PACKING: Transporting less stuff is easier and makes for a more comfortable car ride. At Toronto West KOA, there’s no need to pack heavily when you’re staying in one of our new Deluxe Cabins. They come fully stocked with linens and dishes, and boast comfy Queen beds, bunks for the kids, full private washrooms, kitchens and BBQs. If you fi nd you do forget something you’d really rather have, like a good book or some sunscreen, you can always check our supply store or zip back home to pick it up in no time.
4. LOCAL AMENITIES & ONSITE ACTIVITIES: Some people love to be completely lost in a new place…and others not so much. Campbellville is short drive to a familiar downtown and only 45 minutes from Toronto and the Niagara Falls border. Toronto West KOA also makes a great basecamp for getting out and exploring the local outdoor scene in our own backyard. Nature enthusiasts are in luck with our close proximity to seven surrounding World Biosphere Conservation areas, each with its own
Summer is fi nally here and it’s the perfect season to get up close and personal with Mother Nature. A camping experience teaches young children independence, curiosity, and an appreciation for a slower-paced style of living. For parents, however, planning a trip can feel like a daunting experience better left to the professionals.
BY L INDSAY GREENE
NO TENT? NO RV?
No Problem!
NO TENT? NO RV?
No Problem!
20 Martin St., S. Milton L9T 2P9(905) 693-6795 | www.healthenut.ca | [email protected]
#healthenutmilton Healthenut Cafe Milton
Get healthy Milton!!Juice cleansesand so much More
jaw dropping scenic views and family activities. Alternatively, stay on site and enjoy our KOA’s recreation program with fun themed weekends, arcade games, big screen movies under the stars and more.
5. FRIENDSHIP: When it comes down to it, camping is an unrivalled bonding experience. Sharing a sense of community with fellow campers paves the way for the birth of new friendships and reconnections with friends of days gone by. Get a group of local family
and friends together for a weekend reunion. We’ll help you plan it with out Guest Services Manager. When it comes time to leave there’s no need to say a goodbye to that new BFF when there’s a good chance they’ll live nearby too!
We can go on about why you’ll love local camping but you’ll never know until you check it out for yourself. Toronto West KOA would love to host your next getaway – here’s $25 off on us for the 2015 season!
4 F A M I L Y M A T T E R S | S U M M E R 2 0 1 5
Anxiety is a common emotional state and a normal reaction to stressful situations. It is also our bodies’ alarm signal that something dangerous is pending or happening. Most people experience anxiety at times of change or when engaging in new activities. Performance and evaluative situations also trigger anxiety.
C ertain forms of anxiety are common as children grow. In infants and toddlers, stranger anxiety and fear of separating
from a primary attachment fi gure (e.g., parent) is common. During the preschool years, fears of the dark, animals, and imaginary things prevail. In middle childhood, fears related to performance, dangers of the world, social competence, mortality and academics are prevalent. Teens commonly express fear related to social situations, the future, and abstract concepts. However, anxiety becomes more problematic when it is disproportionate with the situation, it causes disruption in functioning, it creates marked distress for the individual and others, and it lasts for an extended period of time.
Anxiety is the most common pediatric mental disorder (estimated 5 to 10% prevalence). Childhood anxiety disorders are effectively treated with cognitive behavioral therapy, which may include education about anxiety, relaxation techniques, challenging scary (unrealistic) thoughts, and facing fears. Medication is also an effective way of managing anxiety in childhood, primarily in conjunction with cognitive behavioral therapy.
Many parents and teachers are not sure what to do to help children manage their symptoms of anxiety. Here are some helpful tips for parents of anxious children:
• Educate your child about the fact that anxiety is normal, harmless, and temporary.
• Have the same expectations for anxious children as you would for other children (however the pace may need to be slower).
• Stay calm when your child becomes anxious about a situation or event.
• Role-play various ways your child can handle diffi cult situations.
• Praise and reward brave and courageous behavior, as well as effort. Do not punish mistakes or lack of progress.
• Avoid excessive reassurance.• Set aside a time-limited “Worry Time” to listen
to your child’s thoughts and feelings related to fearful situations. If your child does not have any concerns to express during that time, use the time to play with your child.
• Modify expectations during stressful situations.• Don’t take over, let kids attempt things on
their own.
Anxiety is a common emotional state and a normal reaction to stressful situations. 101
Anxiety is a common emotional state and a normal reaction to stressful situations. Anxiety is a common emotional state and a normal reaction to stressful situations. 101101CHILDHOOD
ANXIETY:
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BY DR. SHONNA JOHN
101
• Keep your fears and worries to yourself. Model facing fears and provide support and encouragement.
• Do not laugh at or minimize your child’s fears, rather validate your child’s concerns.
• Plan for transitions, for example, allow for extra time when transitioning from school to an extra curricular activity.
• When anxiety is extremely diffi cult to manage on your own, seek out professional help from a clinical child psychologist.
Effective tips for teachers of anxious students include:• Take the student’s concerns seriously.• Seat anxious children away from boisterous
classmates. Allow anxious students to sit where they feel most comfortable in assemblies and large group settings.
• Exempt anxious children from writing on the board and reading out loud until they are comfortable.
• Establish a cue and place for “timeout” where anxious students can retreat when they feel overwhelmed.
• Give anxious children extended time on tests to ease the pressure.
• Teachers can assign groupings, rather than having children choose their own grouping.
• Send a note home to alert the anxious student and family to a change in routine and or substitute teacher.
• In severe cases, consider staggered entry and or decreased course load.
• In high school, balance “diffi cult” and “easier” courses.
• Provide a supportive adult within the school who the anxious student could connect with, for example guidance, Chaplin, CYW, favorite teacher or administrator.
• Seek support from school psychologist for further strategies.
Dr. Shonna John, C. Psych. &Dr. Paulo Pires, C. Psych.
Halton Psychologists, 14A Martin Street, Milton, L9T 2P9
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L I FE CHANGE CHALLENGE WINNER
Growing up, Laurel always struggled with food. Food was used as a crutch for everything. In high school, she sought
counseling, hoping to gain some understanding of her relationship with food. Counseling seemed to help put things in perspective. Upon moving away to University, counseling took a back seat, and Laurel found herself less active and struggling more than she ever had. 12 years ago, Laurel married the love of her life, Scott; he and Laurel had some challenges starting a family for some time. Laurel remembers every time she thought she may be pregnant, she would eat as though she was. She realizes now, that convincing herself she was carrying a baby, gave her the permission to eat and gain the weight without the guilt.
We have a winner of the third consecutive Life Change Challenge! Sponsored by Oxygen Pilates and Fitness and organized by Rose Passarelli, this program has become increasingly popular with local women looking for support with their healthy lifestyle changes. This group is over 80 women strong. Although, ultimately, there is a winner, the group’s main objective is to uplift, encourage and support one another. Laurel Mills, of Milton was this round’s fi rst place winner.
LAUREL MILLS
No More Empty Promises
In 2005, the couple fi nally conceived and were expecting their fi rst child, Nathan, now 9 years old. Laurel gained 30 pounds while pregnant with Nathan. Her second pregnancy was far more challenging. Due to medical complications, Laurel was ordered to be on complete bed rest. Bed rest along with her poor eating habits sent into a downwards spiral. In my chat with Laurel about her feelings after the pregnancy, she shared her inadequate feelings after her having Shiloh, “I felt frumpy, unattractive; my confi dence was low.” With little motivation, like most young mothers, Laurel’s life revolved around Nathan and Shiloh and she rarely took the time for herself. Fun things included taking her children to the park to watch them play instead of being actively involved in their play.
It wasn’t until 2011 that Laurel began feeling humiliated about all the empty promises she had made to herself over the years. This time she told herself she was going to do this! A friend recommended she try a weight loss program, which included some meal replacement shakes. With the decline of her weight on the scale came an increase in confi dence. “I even started walking!” She smiles. In no time, Laurel had lost 30 pounds. Feeling confi dent that she had control this time, she started replacing the shakes with meals again and soon found herself slipping back into her old habits. The 30 pounds that were lost came creeping back along with more. Devastated and embarrassed, Laurel decided she would simply settle for the way things were. “I felt defeated and felt like the only choice I had was to live this way,” she says.
Like so many before her, Laurel learned she did, in fact, have a choice, the moment she walked through the doors of Oxygen Pilates and Fitness in January 2015. “I tried
the classes and I was hooked, I just kept going back!” she beams. “My favourite is the music, I Shazam everything and then I play it so I can feel like I am there when I can’t get to classes. I fi nally found a place where people actually care if I show up!” Immediately after joining Oxygen, Laurel also joined the Life Change Challenge offered through the studio. She was worried this would just be one more thing she would fail at. “I was so wrong,” she admits. “The support in this group was just what I needed!”
The group offers several prizes to winners in various areas such as total weight lost, total inches lost and even most supportive team member. The group is run with the guidance of nutritionists, fi tness instructors, as well as mentors who have been successful in their journey to making healthy lifestyle changes. The initiative is to offer support to those looking to learn about proper nutrition, get active, and live a healthier lifestyle for themselves and for their families. Laurel Mills was the overall winner with the most weight lost during the 3 month challenge. “I have come such a long way in all aspects of my life since this challenge. I no longer sit and watch my kids play in the park, I join them! This challenge has helped me make changes
I may never have had the strength to make on my own. The support from these women has been incredible. The single most memorable moment for me has to be the way that every one of those women cheered for me when my name was called as the winner of the challenge; women who were supporting me instead of competing with me was my prize!”
BEFORE
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A lthough advocacy and public education groups (including the Ontario Psychological Association/OPA) are making progress, the
stigma of being labelled with a mental health challenge is not entirely abolished yet. Just the idea of this stigma can make receiving a mental health diagnosis scary, and it could even lead you to resist or avoid altogether seeking help from professionals who may diagnose. You may worry that others will see you as damaged, weird, or crazy, or that your treating professional will put you in the same proverbial box as others sharing your diagnosis. If you are a parent of a child with a mental health struggle, your protective parental instinct may lead you to worry about these things on your child’s behalf. While it is true that a diagnosis can be a label of sorts, the uplifting
trend in mental healthcare is to reduce the stigma of diagnosis and use diagnosis not as an end but rather as a means to an end (the desired end being better coping, personal growth, and improved quality of life). Furthermore, professional providers of mental health services strive to view each client as unique and tailor their approach to the individual; it is the symptoms (not the people) that are grouped together under one diagnosis.
Another prospective risk of receiving a diagnosis is that you may be tempted to hide behind it. The diagnosis may become a tool by which you excuse yourself or your behaviour, or you may even fall into the pattern of a self-fulfi lling prophecy (meaning that you may start to exhibit increasingly more symptoms consistent with the
There are many views on both the positive purposes and the potential pitfalls of receiving a mental health diagnosis. However, in assessing both sides of this debate, it seems as though a diagnosis can actually be a helpful friend.
B Y D R . K E R R I S D E L R O S A R I O
MENTAL HEALTHDIAGNOSIS:
Friend or Foe?
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diagnosis). However, a diagnosis can be positively utilized as an explanation (instead of an excuse) to better understand yourself and your behaviour, and to extend compassion and grace to yourself in the midst of your struggles (thus avoiding the metaphorical kicking of yourself while you’re down). A diagnosis also presents an opportunity to seek appropriate treatment based on the approaches that are often helpful to people with similar struggles (referred to as evidence-based treatment), to learn skills to better cope with or manage your symptoms, and to pursue insight-oriented personal growth. In addition, diagnostic clarity may help you (or your child) qualify for funding and access to the services and supports best-suited for you.
While being mindful of the potential pitfalls, receiving a mental health diagnosis can be benefi cial and positive, especially when room is left for individual differences in presentation and as long as the diagnosis is used to inform
treatment and promote growth, rather than used as a derogatory or infl exible label or a cover-all excuse to avoid positive change. In sum, diagnosis allows treating professionals to succinctly describe a group of related symptoms and can ideally help you better understand yourself for the purposes of healthy self-improvement.
* In Ontario, only registered psychologists, psychological associates, and physicians can perform the act of diagnosing mental health disorders, and these professionals have extensive training in making and communicating diagnoses appropriately and with compassion. Should you desire assessment for potential diagnosis and related treatment, you are encouraged to seek a well-trained and regulated provider whom you feel is a good fi t for both your presenting problems and your personal style.
Dr. Kerris del RosarioR e g i s t e r e d P s y c h o l o g i s t
Assessment and Therapy with expertise and compassion forChildren, Adolescents, Adults, and Couples
psychoeducational assessment depression
psychological assessment anxiety
premarital counselling stress marital therapy trauma/abuse
grief/loss/adjustment personal growth
Covered By Most Extended Insurance PlansFlexible Appointment Schedule - No Referral Required
585 Ontario St. S., Suite 204, Milton | 1601 River Rd. E., Suite 305, Kitchener
519.498.9962 | [email protected] | KitchenerPsychologist.com
This article was written by Dr. Kerris del Rosario, Clinical and Counselling Psychologist in Milton and Kitchener, Ontario.
Dr. del Rosario provides personalized assessment and therapy for children, adolescents, adults and couples. www.KitchenerPsychologist.com
10 F A M I L Y M A T T E R S | S U M M E R 2 0 1 5
1Make sure you talk about money to your kids. Use everyday occurrences like grocery stores trips to talk about value for products, the
validity of commercials, and how debit cards and bank machines work; that they’re not a magical endless source of money.
2 Create opportunities to empower them and let them feel both confi dent and in control by earning their own money.
· You’re likely familiar with an allowance. Our family called it a “paycheque.”
· Expect them to take on extra jobs around your house or neighbor’s houses.
· Support them in starting their own lemonade stand or small business.
MoneyFor NothingHas your child ever put their hand out for money and expected to receive it without any effort or work, or worse, had a tantrum if you said, “No”? Today, it’s more important than ever to teach kids about money early. They’ll need their own personal fi nancial plan in the face of economic chaos around the world.
Continued on page 12
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B Y G A I L H A Y N E S
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~Muay Thai & Kickboxing~Boxing~Brazilian Jiu Jitsu~Fitness~
STUDENT SUMMER SPEC IAL$300 FOR 4 MONTHS
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NEW LOCATION!Milton Muay Thai & Training Center
MuayThai | Kickboxing | Boxing | BJJ | Fitness601 Main Street East, Milton Ontario L9T 3J2
t: (905) 699-9449 | e: [email protected] | www.miltonmuaythai.comFollow us: instagram.com/mmtmassive | facebook.com/miltonmuaythai
Love. Respect. Believe.
~Muay Thai & Kickboxing~Boxing~Brazilian Jiu Jitsu~Fitness~
12 F A M I L Y M A T T E R S | S U M M E R 2 0 1 5
3Show them how to spend, save, and even gift their money in a balanced and powerful way to develop healthy money habits. Gail
teaches her “WOW Money System.” It’s a fun easy-to-follow method for adults and children.
NOW AVAILABLE: MONEY CAMP FOR KIDS!At Money Camp for Kids, the curriculum developed by Gail came from her experience as a single mother on a tight budget facing many challenges. By proactively making money fun and interesting, it allows young ones to practice new approaches with real life examples, enjoy interactive games and use fun hands-on learning to develop skills that last them a lifetime.
If you want to protect your children from any future fi nancial stress from credit, budgeting or debt and are interested this summer’s Money Camp for Kids sessions, go to FreeMoneyCamp.com for a chance to win a full scholarship today.
Gail Haynes is the acclaimed author of “The Lemonade Stand Millionaire.” As a recognized family money expert, TV and radio media seek her specialized knowledge and simple techniques, in addition to publishers like Canadian Family Magazine and MSN Money.
“Consumerism teaches kids to buy whether they have money or not,” says Gail Haynes, Money Education Expert and Founder of Money Camp for Kids. She adds, “There’s peer pressure that you MUST have it to be popular or noticed. There’s no hesitation to throw away items and replace them with the latest fashion.”
Gail offers fun, week-long summer programs in the Milton/Campbellville area where she works with kids become “Money Makers Not Money Takers” and to assist exhausted, frustrated parents.
sessions, go to FreeMoneyCamp.com for a
Show them how to spend, save, and even gift their money in a balanced and powerful way to develop healthy money habits. Gail
teaches her “WOW Money System.” It’s a fun easy-to-follow method for adults and children.
At Money Camp for Kids, the curriculum developed by Gail came from her experience as a single mother on a tight budget facing many challenges. By proactively making
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BEAUTY. DESIGN. DURABILITY.With a team rooted in the Milton area and developing beautiful projects across the GTA, Paradise Contracting takes great pride in the work we create while treating your home like our own.
WE SPECIALIZE IN:• Exposed Aggregate Concrete• Stamped Concrete• Broom Finish Concrete• Patios, Front Walkways, Sidewalks, Pool Decks, Bullnose, Cap Porch, Curbs, Walls
Paradise Contracting Ltd.
Do You Have YourPiece of Paradise?Servicing Milton, Mississauga, Etobicoke, Brampton, Burlington, Oakville, Hamilton, Carlisle and Caledon
905.510.1752www.paradisecontractingltd.ca
BEAUTY. DESIGN. DURABILITY.With a team rooted in the Milton area and developing beautiful projects across the GTA, Paradise Contracting takes great pride in the work we create while treating your home like our own.
WE SPECIALIZE IN:• Exposed Aggregate Concrete• Stamped Concrete• Broom Finish Concrete• Patios, Front Walkways, Sidewalks, Pool Decks, Bullnose, Cap Porch, Curbs, Walls
Paradise Contracting Ltd.
Do You Have YourPiece of Paradise?Servicing Milton, Mississauga, Etobicoke, Brampton, Burlington, Oakville, Hamilton, Carlisle and Caledon
905.510.1752www.paradisecontractingltd.ca
BEAUTY. DESIGN. DURABILITY.With a team rooted in the Milton area and developing beautiful projects across the GTA, Paradise Contracting takes great pride in the work we create while treating your home like our own.
WE SPECIALIZE IN:• Exposed Aggregate Concrete• Stamped Concrete• Broom Finish Concrete• Patios, Front Walkways, Sidewalks, Pool Decks, Bullnose, Cap Porch, Curbs, Walls
Paradise Contracting Ltd.
Do You Have YourPiece of Paradise?Servicing Milton, Mississauga, Etobicoke, Brampton, Burlington, Oakville, Hamilton, Carlisle and Caledon
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EventsFamily FunIN MILTON
Story and Craft Time at Hawthorne Derry & Trudeau
Story and Craft TimeJoin us for story and craft every Thursday at 10:30am
Geared for ages 2 - 6 years, we read some of our favorite stories and do a craft.
Conservation HaltonSeason of Many Frogs Peeping (Until June 30)Spring Fever Days in the Country (Until June 30)
www.conservationhalton.ca
Farmers’ MarketSaturdays, May 16 – October 10 (except June 6) | 7:00am – 12:00pmThe 2015 Milton Farmers’ Market season will open on May 16, 2015 and continue each Saturday (excluding June 6, 2015) until October 10, 2015. Market opens at 7:00 am and closes at 12:00 noon. Come stroll and visit the many farmers, vendors, fl orists and artisans from the Milton area.
www. miltonfarmersmarket.ca
Optimist CruiseGo Train Station, 780 Main Street East
Sunday evenings May 31 – September 6 | 5:00pm – 9:00pmCome out an see the incredible Oldies, Roadsters, and High Performance Cars on display. You can look but can’t ride. FREE for the Family.
http://www.optimistclubofmilton.org
Kids Bowl FreeChamps FEC, 300 Bronte Street South
June 1 – October 1
Register your children on line at www.kidsbowlfree.com/Champs to receive 2 free games of bowling everyday from June 1 2015 –October 1 2015. Family passes are available as well!
MCRC’s 22nd Annual Family Fun FairVictoria Park, Milton
Saturday, June 6 | 10:00am – 4:00pm
Fun activities and demonstrations for the whole family!
mcrc.on.ca
Downtown Milton Street FestivalMilton’s Main Street, between Brown and Fulton Streets
Saturday, June 6 | 12:00pm to 11:00pmFree family friendly community celebration.
www.downtownmiltonstreetfestival.ca
Milton Show Choir for YouthJohn Elliott Theatre, 9 Church Street, Georgetown, On
Saturday, June 13 | 7:3pm0 – 9:00pm
Milton Show Choir presents their annual GLEEFUL showcase starring the Junior and Senior Glee Choirs.
www.miltonshowchoir.ca
Freestyle Family Fun (Fundraiser for Travis Gerrits @ Shoeless Joe’s)Shoeless Joe’s Milton
Sunday, June 14 | 11:00am – 5:00pm
Taking place in the Shoeless Joe’s Milton parking lot, we are excited to have DJ Luke Y spinning tunes all day, Water Balls from Ontario Infl atables and Event Rentals, Pony Rides from Ponies R Us, Zumba and Wellness from Change It Up 360 and much more!
Celebrate DadsMilton Public Library1010 Main St. E. & 945 Fourth Line
Tuesday, June 16 | 2:00 – 3:00 pm
Enjoy stories and songs, then stay to make a cute card telling Dad how much you love him - just in time for Father’s Day. 4-8 yrs. Pre-register starting June 1st
www.mpl.on.ca/childprograms.php
Springridge Farm Father’s Day Food Truck FestivalSpringridge Farm
Saturday, June 20 – Sunday, June 21 | 11:00 am – 3:00 pm
Springridge Farm’s wildly successful Food Truck Festival merges agricultural entertainment with a unique culinary experience. 2 days, 1 farm, 15 trucks. Come hungry!
http://www.springridgefarm.com/
Father’s Day Halton County Radial Railway
Sunday, June 21
Bring dad for a ride on the streetcars. Father’s admission free with the purchase of one youth admission.
www.hcry.org
PAN AM Torch RelayTuesday, June 23 | 11:30 am - 2:00 pm
Welcome the Pan Am fl ame to Milton and witness the lighting of the community cauldron. Enjoy live cultural performances and participate in active stations to “try out” Pan Am/Parapan Am sports.
34th Annual Strawberry FairMilton Fairgrounds (Robert Street)
Saturday, June 27, 2015
Great Family Fun Day!
www.haltonhealthcare.on.ca
Canada DayMilton Fairgrounds, 136 Roberts Street, Milton, Ontario
Wednesday, July 1 | 12:00 noon – 11:00 pm
Celebrate Canada Day at the Milton Fairgounds! Free admission.
www.miltoncanadaday.ca
Summer Launch PartyMilton Public Library1010 Main St. E. & 945 Fourth Line
Saturday, July 4 | 1:00pm – 3:00 pm
Drop-in and come celebrate the launch of the Summer Reading Club. Have your face painted, meet some amazing animals & critters (Main only), and look for hidden treasure. Crafts, games, and activities galore!
www.mpl.on.ca/childprograms.php
Summer Days Performance SeriesStage in front of Milton Town Hall, 150 Mary Street
Every Wednesday in July | 12:00pm – 1:00pm
www.artsmilton.com/summer-days-performance-series/
Soundsational Summer 2015 Every Thursday evening in July | 7.30pm to dusk
Victoria Park Gazebo, corner of Bell and Mary Streets, Milton,
Enjoy the best of summer time with friends and family. Bring a chair or blanket and maybe even a picnic!
www.miltonconcertband.com
Family DayHalton County Radial Railway
Saturday, July 18
Back for a third year, Family Day is an event not to be missed. Come ride the streetcars, play games, see the displays and eat some great food.
www.hcry.org
Download the free BusyKids Milton app and for more kids’ activities info at www.busykids.ca/app.html
Information brought to you by
New Life Children’s & Youth Centre824 Thompson Road South, Miltonwww.newlifemilton.com
Summer Kids’ CampsJuly13 - July 17 | August 10 - August 14Contact: [email protected]
Youth Summer SoccerWednesdays at 6:30pmOnly a LOONIE to playContact: [email protected]
Extreme Life YouthFridays at 7:30pm
Super PullCountry Heritage Park
Weekend of July 19
Come out and join in the cheering as the best pullers in Ontario visit our park!
www.countryheritagepark.com
Forget-Me-Not-Fair Milton Fairgrounds
Saturday, July 25 | 10:00am-6:00pm
“The Forget-Me-Not Family fun fair” was created to honor the life of almost 2 year old Maximus Huyskens who passed away in 2013 from heat stroke from being left in the car for extended amount of time. The fair is to celebrate his life and educate parents, grandparents and caregivers about safety in and around motorized / non-motorized vehicles (heat strokes, back-overs, front overs, car seat safety etc.) in our local community and surrounding regions of the GTA.
http://www.forgetmenotfair.com
Milton Rib FestMilton Fairgrounds
August 21-23
Each summer for the past six years the Milton Ribfest has been providing thousands of visitors with thousands of sticky, delicious, tasty, messy ribs!
http://www.miltonribfest.ca/
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A lthough love has been defi ned by writers, poets, musicians and other artists for generations, there is no consensus on what love actually is.
Attachment theorists argue that love is a bonding or connection between people, which arguably developed as a survival mechanism between parent and child to ensure the physical safety of our species. Threats to this bond, which developed to keep us protected, lead us to feel an intense fear or “primal panic”. In the face of this fear, we make attempts to restore the attachment bond.
Research on attachment emotions began by examining the relationship between mothers and their children, with a particular interest in how children responded to being separated from, and then later reunited with, their mothers while engaging in a play activity. Children whose mothers were consistently warm tolerated this situation reasonable well, greeted their mothers when they returned, and then returned to their play activity. In contrast, children whose parents were more unpredictable in their responsiveness become more distressed by the separation, sought reassurance more passionately on their mothers return, and did not always return to their play. Children of parents who were more dismissing or cold tended to ignore their mother on her return, focusing on their play.
One of the primary reasons couples seek counselling is to improve their communication. However, it is not uncommon for these same people to describe being able to communicate well with other people in their life. So why is communication with our loved ones so diffi cult? The short answer: Emotion. The long answer requires more explanation.
WHY IS COMMUNICATION
With Your Loved Ones so Difficult?
Continued on page 20
Interestingly, variations of these patterns are seen in adult relationships when loved ones are perceived to be unavailable. If our relationships are stable, and we feel comfortable, close and confi dent in the relationship, we are better able to roll with the stresses and hurts of everyday life, giving and seeking support as needed, and having the confi dence to be independent. We respond to separation and reunion the way the fi rst child does, we acknowledge our loved one and return to tasks of everyday life. However, if we do not feel secure in our relationship, if we do not feel our loved one is available or accepting of us as we are, we may feel insecure in the relationship and be fearful of disconnection or ultimately the loss of the relationship. When faced with everyday confl ict, the confl ict becomes not only about the issue at hand (e.g. whether your partner helps out with household chores) but also about the security of the relationship (e.g. whether or not you are important, understood, accepted). Like the children in the study, we may attempt to seek reassurance that the bond is strong by asking our partner to change their behaviors (e.g. contribute more in the house) or request expressions of love (e.g. making more of an effort). Alternatively, we may try to distance ourselves from our partner and the
“We are never so vulnerable as when we love” – Sigmund Freud
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B Y D R . S H E R R Y V A N B L Y D E R V E E N
D I R E C T O R S : A S H L E Y S U M M E R S - M A C D O N A L D & K E L L Y S U M M E R S
C A L L T O D A Y F O RI N F O R M A T I O N O N O U R
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This article was written by Dr. Sherry Van Blyderveen, Clinical and Counselling Psychologist with New Leaf Psychology Centre. Dr. Van Blyderveen offers Emotion Focused Therapy for Couples. www.newleafpsychology.ca Also on Facebook and Twitter.
References:Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love – Sue Johnson
Psychological Assessment & Therapy for Children, Teens, Adults, Couples & Families
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conflict to reduce the distress or hurt we may feel (e.g. ignoring a heated topic).
To summarize, conflict with our loved ones is much more likely to trigger intense emotional reactions than conflict with friends and coworkers because of the nature of the relationship. The bond or love we have for someone
leads us to be more sensitive to threats to that bond, and the resulting intense emotions are more likely to “hijack” us, leading us to abandon our communication skills in favor of behaviors meant to restore the bond we have with our loved one. The irony is that some of the
behaviors we engage in to restore the bond (e.g. seeking reassurance through “nagging” our partners to change their behavior) or to reduce the pain of the threat to the bond (e.g. emotional distancing, giving in) can actually harm our relationships, triggering attachment related fears in our partner, leading our partner to engage in similar behaviors, which reinforce our fears. It is usually this pattern of interaction that couples are referring to when they seek help for communication issues.
Fighting is a normal process to negotiate and express feelings, but we can do it in a way that causes less harm to the relationship. The answer is not necessarily improving communication skills, it is learning to better express our attachment related emotions, while being sensitive to our loved ones attachment related emotions.
Traditional couples therapy designed to address communication skills and conflict resolution boasts approximately a 45% success rate; emotion focused therapy (EFT) which addresses attachment related emotions has shown success rates from 70 to 75%.
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22 F A M I L Y M A T T E R S | S U M M E R 2 0 1 5
When I went met with Nistor Sandro, owner of Gold Medal Gymnastics, our intention was to discuss advertising
opportunities. Throughout our conversation, I became more and more interested in what was going on around us in the gym. There was something about the energy in the room that was captivating. There were a few young men and women training tirelessly for their next competition. These were not your average kids performing recreational gymnastic routines. Even for one who is not well versed in the world of gymnastics, I could tell there was some incredible talent there!
Nistor and his wife Loredana, run Gold Medal Gymnastics together. They immigrated to Canada
COVER STORY
Commitment and Sacrifi ces:WHAT CHAMPIONS ARE MADE OF
from Romania on a work permit for Nistor to train kids in gymnastics. His experience with gymnastics started when he was only fi ve years old and his career continued until he was 27; as a member of the Romanian National Team, he was fortunate enough to represent his country in various competitions. Nistor’s long list of accomplishments include placing third in both pummel horse and rings at the Junior European Championships in Athens in 1991. In 1996, he placed 5th in Parallel Bars and 6th on the Rings at the Senior European Championships in Denmark. As a team, Romania placed 7th at the World Championships in Lauzer, Switzerland and 11th in World Championships in Tianjin, China which qualifi ed them for the Sydney Olympics.
Continued on page 24
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Rebecca
Commitment and Sacrifi ces:WHAT CHAMPIONS ARE MADE OF
Challenging the Body and Mind!Gymnastics classes availableREGISTER NOW!Recreational program:• Parent & Tot ( Age 18 m-2 yrs)• Tumbling Tots (Age 3 & 4 yrs)• Junior Rec Boys / Girls (Age 5-7 yrs)• Youth Rec Boys / Girls (Age 8-10 yrs)• Senior Rec Boys / Girls (Age 11-17 yrs)• Camps (Summer & March Break)Competitive program:• National, Provincial & Interclub Levels• Boys / Girls age 5 years and older
GOLD MEDALGYMNASTICS INC.
8695 ESCARPMENT WAY, Unit 4, MILTONwww.goldmedalgymnasticsinc.com(905) 864-4400
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24 F A M I L Y M A T T E R S | S U M M E R 2 0 1 5
Continued on page 26
Nistor
In 2008, the Sandros decided to take the plunge and make their dream of opening their own gym a reality. They wanted a location that was central and in a growing community, Milton was a logical choice. Loredana recalls the long and tiring hours that were put into building the gym. She reminisces about painting the walls and ceilings while her young children watched shows on a very small television. The Sandros asked for little help from anyone and did most of the work on their own. They are not strangers to dedication and hard work. In fact, this is the single most valuable lesson they have taught their children. The Sandros have two children, David, 14, and Rebecca, 10. Both are enrolled in a special academic program for high performance students; they attend school for half the day and are picked up just before lunch. They spend the rest of their school day training Monday to Friday as well as most of the day on Saturday. They both train over 30 hours a week in gymnastics.
One may wonder how a child who trains over 30 hours a week is able to keep his grades up and focus in class. David, 14, somehow, makes it look very easy! He is a gifted student and is at the top of his class. With a serious demeanor, he shares his strategy, ”It’s simple really. When I
am at school, I am at school. I give 100% while I am there, and I don’t think about the gym. When I am here at the gym, I don’t think about school, I focus 100% on what needs to be done here.” David does admit that sometimes he just wants to be a kid. Occasionally he will ask for time away from gym, but his father is hard on him and doesn’t give time off freely. David admits that he understands his father’s intentions. “I know without a doubt that my parents are doing great things.” When he is permitted to take time off, David just finds himself wondering how much he could be accomplishing if he had stayed, and often finds himself walking back into the gym to train. David’s accomplishments include three Gold and four Silver medals as a member of the Canadian National Team’s Novice Division. He also placed 6th overall at Elite Canada in January of this year. His greatest accomplishment to date, is becoming National Champion placing First All Around at Elite Canada Competition in 2013.
The Sandro’s youngest child, Rebecca is only 10, but she is no stranger to the world of gymnastics. She has spent her entire life in the gym. She is a perfectionist according to her mother, Loredana.
Maintenance ProgramsLandscape RenovationInterlock Installation and Repair Spring Clean Ups
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6941 Derry Rd., Suite 203 (Derry & Bronte)tel: 905-875-3345www.hearsay.ca
Do you hear words, but notunderstand what is being said?
Do people seem to mumble?
Do others complain you turn upthe TV or radio too loudly?
Do you �nd it di�cult to hear innoisy environments?
Do your family members complainthat you are not hearing them?
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HEARING SELF-ASSESSMENT
If you checked 1 or more oft the boxes, it is recommendedyou have your hearing tested. Call to book an appointmentfor a hearing test with on of our Audiologists.
2014
26 F A M I L Y M A T T E R S | S U M M E R 2 0 1 5
Continued on page 28
Nistor SandroA DISTINGUISH GYMNASTICS CAREERThe following is a list of most signifi cant accomplishments:·
2000 Olympic Games (Sydney, AUS) First Offi cial alternate of the Romanian Team·
1999 World Championships (Tianjin, CHN) 9th place with the team·
1997 World Championships (Lausanne, SUI) 7th place with the team·
1996 Olympic Games (Atlanta, USA) 9th place with the team·
1996 European Championships (Copenhagen, DEN) 6th place with the team, 6th place on Parallel Bars & 5th place on Rings·
1995 World Championships (Sabae, JPN) Bronze Medal with the team & 6th place on Horizontal Bar
1994 World Championships (Dortmund, GER) 11th place with the team
1994 European Championships (Prague, Czechoslovakia) 7th place with the team
1994 Goodwill Games (Sankt Petersburg, RUS) Silver Medal on Horizontal Bar
1991 Juniors European Championships (Athens, GRE) Bronze Medal on Pommel Horse & Bronze Medal on Rings and 7th place All Around
1997-2000 National Team Competitions (Hannover, GER) Gold Medal, Silver Medal, 4th and Silver Medal with the team
Loredana &Nistor
Always striving to be better, Rebecca is also a member of the Canadian National Team in the Pre-Novice Division. Beam is defi nitely her strongest event, and was awarded a Bronze medal in a provincial competition earlier this year. Loredana shares an incident at one of David’s competitions this year where older girls were competing. She recalls Rebecca watching the older girls and being in awe over their talent. Worried that she would never be as talented, Rebecca asked her mom for a notebook so she could take notes and set new goals for herself. Rebecca also trains over 30 hours a week and is in the same academic program as David. She does quite well in school, and loves the arts. When asked about the amount of time she spends in the gym and with her family, her eyes light up and she smiles. “I love spending time with my family in the gym, it’s never too much.” She does admit, “sometimes, I do get home too late and I don’t have time for homework, so sometimes I do it in the gym after I train”. When asked about future goals, Rebecca tilts her head to think, she smiles and humbly shares her dream to coach and have her own gym one day.
When in Romania, Loredana also spent years training in competitive rhythmic gymnastics.
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CONTACT:Susana Medeiros647.407.5540bigger.better.lashes@gmail.comwww.youniqueproducts.com/SusanaMedeirosbigger.better.lashes@gmail.comwww.youniqueproducts.com/SusanaMedeiros
28 F A M I L Y M A T T E R S | S U M M E R 2 0 1 5
David
Unfortunately, her memories are not as fond as her husband’s. Coaches were unrealistically hard on young girls in Romania during that era; physical and emotional abuse when one did not perform to standards, was accepted as normal. It left a bitter taste for Loredana. As a mother and coach, she vows to empower and encourage young girls and boys to excel under her guidance with love and respect.
Loredana and Nistor coach the athletes in the gym full-time, as well as run the business side of the gym. Offering competitive and recreational as well as summer programs, the gym keeps the couple very occupied. When I asked Loredana about the challenge of balance of running as business and looking after her family, she lovingly admits she could never do it without Nistor’s support: “we are truly are a team, here and at home.” They both admit that from time to time, there are challenges. Nistor laughs when he tells me about his biggest challenge, “if I
was working with someone else, as the owner, I could make decisions. With my wife, she has no problem telling me I have dumb ideas and I can never pull rank with her!” In the past when the children were younger, the couple remembers only having each other to count on. With all their relatives back home, they have had to be a united front. Commitment and hard work is what has made their marriage strong, according to Nistor. He genuinely shares with me his ultimate goal: “when all is done, I want to teach these kids one thing: commitment.” For both his own, as well as the children he coaches, he hopes that they will learn to relate the commitment they make in the sport to their lives outside the gym. “I hope they will take the lesson of commitment and hard work into the workplace and their relationships with family, and especially in their marriages. Too many people give up when things get tough. When things are hard is when you need to make sacrifi ces and commit, it is always worth it in the end, the reward is always waiting”.
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