FLY Leader Led Program

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FLY: Finding Love for Yourself

The Leader Led Program

Table of Contents Week One: The Aerodynamics of Self Esteem................................................................................ 2

Week Two: Destination the Orient ................................................................................................. 6

Week Three: Destination England................................................................................................... 7

Week Four: Destination Paris .......................................................................................................... 8

Week Five: Destination Australia .................................................................................................... 9


Week One: The Aerodynamics of Self Esteem

by. Bianca Bowman

The Aerodynamics of Self Esteem

"Indeed, the self-esteem that I speak of this evening is not

blind, arrogant, vain, self-love but rather a self-esteem that is

self-respecting, honest, and without conceit. It is born of

inner peace and strength.

Self-esteem goes to the very heart of our personal growth

and accomplishment. It is the glue that holds together our

self-reliance, our self-control, our self-approval or disapproval

and keeps all self-defense mechanisms secure. It is a

protection against excessive self-deception, self-distrust, self-

reproach, and plain old-fashioned selfishness." -James E.

Faust

For our purposes, because it goes well with the theme, in

understanding the dynamics of self esteem, because there are

so many different labels for self-esteem, and because the idea

of self esteem has taken on a bad connotation, we will refer

to self esteem as Altitude. When we are flying at a lower

altitude (or have low self esteem) we most often display very

distinct behaviors and characteristics some of them are:

Fatigue

Abnormally unkind or disrespectful

May make choices that are inconsistent with well being or

general happiness

Insomnia

Embarrassed easily

Defensive

Consistently Messy Bedroom and or Surroundings

Detachment to those who love them

Sensitivity to correction

Perfectionism

Negative self talk

Not taking care of self

Isolation

Sadness

Feeling not likeable

Misunderstands the

motives of others

May have a increased

desire for things that are

not good for them

When we are flying at low

altitude, or not flying at all

we may attempt to gain

some hight by behaving in

a way that gives us a brief

moment of relief and air

but are negative and do

not give us what we really

need to consistently fly at

a good altitude. We call

this the wind tunnel. Some

of the behaviors that push

us into a spiraling wind

tunnel include:

Being Judgmental

Comparing

Bullying

Approval Seeking

Lowering standards

Manipulating

Relationships

Speaking Unkindly of

Others


Gaining Alliances

Assigning Dark Motives to the good works of others

Tattling

One-upping others

“I imagine that every person on earth has been affected in

some way by the destructive spirit of contention, resentment,

and revenge. Perhaps there are even times when we

recognize this spirit in ourselves. When we feel hurt, angry, or

envious, it is quite easy to judge other people, often assigning

dark motives to their actions in order to justify our own

feelings of resentment”.- Dieter F. Uchtdorf

The need to gain altitude quickly can make it hard to see

clearly. In an effort to catch some air, it is easy to hurt others

without meaning to but the person we hurt the most is often

ourselves.

This graph shows a couple of the common mistakes in flight

paths. We can become conceited (Dark Blue Path) by over

correcting, protecting our identity at all costs. At this altitude

we can become selfish, mean and unfeeling, in an effort to

keep from falling to a lower altitude. A normal flight pattern

(light blue) has small ups and downs due to normal life or

turbulence but it can maintain a relatively straight path,

while the wind tunnel thrusts upward and then plummets.

In this graph we can see the necessity of a good compass to

help guide our way.

Chapter 2 The Joys Compass

“Once again the Savior revealed the way. When asked to

name the greatest commandment, He did not hesitate. “Thou

shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy

soul, and with all thy mind,” He said. “This is the first and

great commandment.” Coupled with the second great

commandment—to love our neighbor as ourselves —we have

a compass that provides direction not only for our lives but

also for the Lord’s Church

on both sides of the veil.”

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Shortly after Cheyenne’s

15th birthday, I began to

notice a decline in her

individual worth. She

began exhibiting the tell

tale signs of low self

esteem. She wasn’t as kind

and patient with her

siblings as she once was,

was easily upset by the

tiniest correction, no

matter how small or well

intended, and the choices

she was making were not

in line with her well being

or overall happiness. I

spoke to her about it. She

explained to me her

struggles, and the research

she had been doing to try

to remedy how she felt

about herself. We knelt

down together, that day,

and prayed about how to

increase her self worth.

We approached it like a

research project, we read

books, talks from religious

leaders and the scriptures.

As Cheyenne applied what

she was learning and the

inspiration she was

getting, I watched what


she did each day and how it made her feel. I took note of the

little things and found that they fit nicely into what we have

entitled the JOYS (Jesus & Heavenly Father, Others, Yourself

and Sacrifice) Compass. This compass, in essence, was the

answer to our prayer.

Here are some of the things she did in each category to help

her find more joy and to find love for herself.

JESUS: TRUE NORTH

She tried to Get to know Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father by

Reading the Scriptures and through sincere prayer.

She tried harder to Keep All of the Commandments

She listened to the council of church leaders and tried to

follow what they said

She made an effort to repent often and sincerely

She tried to Acknowledge His Hand in her life.

She wrote in her gratitude journal regularly

She wrote down Heavenly Father’s tender mercies, miracles

and moments when she had felt his direct love

OTHERS:

She talked to her parents and church leaders and followed

their council.

She tried to look for the good in others and to not discuss,

criticize or judge the bad.

She treated others with respect and kindness even when she

felt hurt by them.

She wrote down the things she liked about people and what

she was grateful for about them.

She was quick to forgive & quick to say sorry.

She reached out to others.

She trusted others and took chances.

She developed and strengthened friendships.

She had others over to play.

She performed random acts of kindness.

YOURSELF:

She tried new things.

She learned to be self

sufficient.

She tried to become her

own best friend by

listening to her heart and

going for the things she

dreamed of.

She took risks and did

something each day that

scared her.

She studied harder and

prepared more diligently

for her future.

She found joy in hard work

and a job well done.

She learned to forgive

herself.

She tried to have more

integrity and be more

honest with herself and

others.

She learned to keep

commitments she made

with others and herself.

She allowed herself to

freely create and to freely

play.

She made her dress

congruent with the person

she wanted to be.

She learned she could do

hard things.

She learned to be

assertive.


SACRIFICE:

Once Cheyenne reached, and was able to maintain, a

comfortable altitude and began to have more compassion for

herself, She found that forgiving and accepting others was a

lot easier. She felt more abundant and generous. She was

more comfortable sharing her talents with others and began

to easily sacrifice her time to do so. Sacrificing what she

wanted for what Heavenly Father wanted for her, became so

much less of a sacrifice, as her will became more in line with

His. She believed in herself, yet seemed to feel more humble

and peaceful than she had before. She wasn't nearly as

defensive and learned to give love more easily without fear.

Together, Heavenly Father, Cheyenne and I healed old

wounds and broken hearts. We learned how to FLY higher

then we had before and we both learned that when in doubt,

to set our course to true north, find and follow Jesus Christ,

and be healed.

"Brethren, we find healing and relief only when we bring

ourselves to the feet of the Great Physician, our Savior, Jesus

Christ. We must lay down our weapons of rebellion (and we

each know what they are). We must lay down our sin, vanity,

and pride. We must give up our desires to follow the world

and to be respected and lauded by the world. We must cease

fighting against God and instead give our whole hearts to

Him, holding nothing back. Then He can heal us. Then He can

cleanse us from the venomous sting of sin." -Patrick Kearon

So let's begin our journey at the Airport Baggage Check

Note to the Leaders:

Discuss things that might trigger turbulence or a drop in

altitude (self esteem) for example, toxic or difficult

relationships, or situations, disorganized or cluttered

environment etc. Everyone has their triggers and everyone

has ways of dealing with those triggers. Prayerfully study and

discuss them for ideas and for a general feel for where your

girls are at with regard to

self esteem and take note.

These will come up again.

Assignment: Write down

your triggers and 10 ways

to get your groove on and

regain altitude.

Now, Cheyenne will go

through the program with

you

Note from Cheyenne: I

designed this FLY Leader

Lead Program to be a lot

like the Come Follow Me

program. It takes prayerful

study from the leaders in

advance, and powerful

question based

assignments for the girls. I

did this so that like the

very inspired Come Follow

Me Program, the leaders

and girls can have a

personalized experience,

based on each individual's

revelation, and the spirit.


Week Two: Destination the Orient,

Jesus and Heavenly Father

Faith, Gratitude, Peace.

{OVERVIEW}

Welcome to the Orient!

There are so many great, and wonderful things for us to do here! We’ll take a walk along the great wall of China for a lesson in faith. Once we are done there, we will hunt down some blossoming trees and take a rest sitting under the pink flowers, as we discuss gratitude. We’ll end our time here in a beautiful garden, in a spot near the water as we discover peace, and how we can bring it into our daily lives. We’ll have an amazing time here, so come FLY with us!

Note to Leaders: Discuss these topics; faith, gratitude and peace, with the

girls, and share your favorite church quotes and/or scriptures on each subject with them. Encourage the girls to write in

their FLY Logs (Journals) an idea list of how they can incorporate these values into their daily life, as well as any

other thoughts they have on the subjects. Then have the girls complete the assignment below.

{ASSIGNMENT}

Pick a trial in your life, or a situation that you are struggling

with. In your journal find peace, faith, and gratitude for the

situation by answering the following questions.

What are some things I have learned from this

situation?

What good has come out of this situation?

How has this situation brought me closer to my

Savior, and Heavenly Father?

How have I seen the Lord's hand in my life during this

trial?


Week Three: Destination England, Others

Authenticity, Charity, Assertiveness

{OVERVIEW}

Well Hello There!

I See you’ve found yourself over in Jolly ‘ol England! Okay

enough with that. How about I tell you about what you're

going to do here?

England has long been a place that brings up an image of

Elegance, class, & cute little tea cups. Here you’ll learn about

the importance of being authentically you, as well as how to

get up the courage to take that step. Especially when it

comes to embracing your divine femininity.

Then we’ll head over to the castle for a lesson in embracing

our divine nature. Once we’re done there we will hit the

streets of London to learn tried and true steps of how to

handle difficult and mean people, harmful and tricky

situations, how to forgive and forget, and much more!

There’s plenty to do here in England! Come FLY with us!

Note to Leaders: Discuss these topics, authenticity, charity and assertiveness, with the girls, and share your favorite church quotes and/or scriptures on each subject with them. Encourage the girls to write in their FLY Logs (Journals) an idea list of how they can incorporate these values into their daily live, as well as any

other thoughts they have on the subjects. Then have the girls complete the assignment below.

{ASSIGNMENT}

In your journal... Describe the Queen of England. What are some of the characteristics of a queen? How can you develop them? Write for two minutes about your opinion of being a girl/girly girl. What do you think embracing your femininity means?

What are some of the ways you can be more feminine in your

daily life? What are your

fears or concerns about

that?

List ways you can develop

a more charitable attitude

towards others, and make

charity part of your

lifestyle.


Week Four: Destination Paris, Yourself

Creativity, Play, Rest

{OVERVIEW}

Bonjour!

Welcome to the lovely Paris! Come take a stroll with us! We’ll

walk along the cobbled streets where some of the world's

greatest artists have displayed their work, for a lesson in

creativity! Then we’ll head over to the glorious Notre Dame

to ponder joy and gratitude. After that we’ll talk with the

locals! They will teach us the importance of play, and rest.

There is so much to see and learn here, we wouldn’t want you

to miss out! So come FLY with us!

Note to Leaders: Discuss these topics, creativity, play and rest, with the girls, and share your favorite church quotes and/or scriptures on each subject with them. Encourage the girls to write in their FLY Logs (Journals) an idea list of how they can incorporate

these values into their daily life, as well as any other thoughts they have on the subjects. Then have the girls complete the

assignment below.

{ASSIGNMENT} In your journal answer these questions.

What games did you like to play as a child?

What feelings are associated with your childhood memories

of play? List some ways you can bring those feelings into

daily play.

What are some ways you can play more daily?

How has your view of creativity changed? Using something

that has stood out to you in this session write a haiku.

What are some ways you can recharge emotionally? What

are some ways you can recharge spiritually? What are some

ways you can recharge physically?


Week Five: Destination Australia

Meaningful Work, Spiritual & Temporal Self-Sufficiency, Laughter, Song, and Dance.

{OVERVIEW}

G’day Mate!

Working hard or hardly working?

Here in Australia we’re gonna take a quick trip to the

countryside to learn about the importance of meaningful,

hard work, that you enjoy! We’ll set dreams in motion and

make some fierce goals.

Then we’ll hop on over to Sydney for some fun. Perhaps you

already knew work was important but what about laughter,

song, and dance?

Here in Australia we’re going to break out of our shells and

do some synchronized flying...it’s like dancing but in the sky.

So come FLY with me!

Note to Leaders: Discuss these topics, meaningful work, self sufficiency, laughter song and dance, with the girls, and share your

favorite church quotes and/or scriptures on each subject with them. Encourage the girls to write in their FLY Logs (Journals)

an idea list of how they can incorporate these values into their daily live, as well as any other thoughts they have on the subjects. Then have the girls complete the assignment

below.

{ASSIGNMENT}

In your journal...

Make a list of your talents and the things you are interested

and enjoy doing such as: Fashion, Photography, Sports,

Painting, Drawing, Writing, Reading, Cooking, Blogging,

Journalism, Etc.

For each interest, brainstorm projects you can do with them.

What are your thoughts

about dancing in public?

When was the last time

you danced alone in your

room, singing into a

hairbrush?

How did you feel when

you danced alone in your

room?

List some ways that

laughter can be brought

into your life more.

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FLY Leader Led Program