Flip though Your Health Magazine October 2014

8/11/2019 Flip though Your Health Magazine October 2014

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2 Your Health Magazine | October 2014


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ContentsOctober 2014

22

12ON THE COVERWigs and somuch moreCynthia Douglas helps womenwith breast cancer feel better

about their appearance 16

PLUS...

Mind MattersWays to cope with recovery,

handle serious illness 6

Self helpTaking care of yourself

is not a selfish act 26

Best BodyFood can play rolein reducing pain 8

EssentialNutritionWhat can we learn from

eating like Paleo man? 10

MakeoverLike so many leaves, hair

shades turn to reds in fall.12

ALSO INSIDE...

Smart FitnessZumba gets the

dance party going 14

AlternativeHealthMidwives help keep

childbirth process

as natural as possible 22

FeatureFertility issues can bedevastating for couples 24

IN EVERY ISSUE

Editors Letter 3

Around Town 28

Cynthia Douglas poses for aportrait in her wig shop.MICHAEL SCHWARZ/

SPECIAL TO THE DEMOCRAT10

6


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tallahassee.com/health 5


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particular moment. On the

other hand, ruminating is an

exercise your brain engages in,

where you grapple with a

series of what ifs and con-

template every possible sce-

nario and outcome. Instead of

getting engrossed by these

mental acrobatics, Gilbertson,

who authored Constructive

Wallowing: How to Beat Bad

Feelings By Letting Yourself

Have Them, suggests push-

ing those thoughts aside and

just sitting with your feelings.

When you do that, you sep-

arate your thoughts from your

emotions, which can help your

feelings pass.

The fastest way to work

through a feeling is to ac-

knowledge the feeling and

name it if you canIm

scared, Im angry because

feelings have a life cycle, she

said. An actual emotion only

lasts a minute or two at any

given time. In any given mo-

ment, if youre feeling some-

thing, if you can just tolerate

the feeling, and consciously

decide to be with it letting

it run freely inside of you

instead of trying to sup-

press it then the actualemotion should only last a

couple of minutes.

Cry it out. According to

psychotherapist Jude Bijou,

author of Attitude Recon-

struction: A Blueprint for

Building a Better Life, its not

uncommon to actually feel

your emotions physically in

your body. When this happens,

your body will actually take

the lead in releasing these

feelings. So if you feel like

crying, or if your body is shak-

ing, dont hold back. Let the

feelings work through your

body physically, so you can

work through them on an

emotional level.

We need to make the

space to cry the sadness out,

she said. We also need to

shiver, tremble, shudder, or

quiver to acknowledge the fear

were feeling in our bodies-

because thats how to most

effectively release the anxiety.

And we need a way to express

the anger physically, without

words, so we can accept whatweve been dealt and move

forward from there.

Ask for help. Although

you may not want to feel like

youre a burden on other

people, its important to try to

get the support you need

when coming to terms with an

illness. Whether you need a

shoulder to cry on or advice

about how to deal with your

condition, give yourself the

same compassion you would

extend to a loved one. Reach

out to your friends and family,

support groups, or medical

professionals and ask for

what you need without

judging yourself.

WALLOWING IN

YOUR FEELINGSmeans allowing

yourself to experience

whatever emotion has

come up for you in a

particular moment.


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Y

ouve heard it a

million times

You are what

you eat.

We all know

that eating

nutritiously is important to

overall health and well-being.

But did you know that what

you eat, even if its considered

healthy, may increase or de-

crease the pain you feel?

There are countless diets

and nutrition plans out there,

and it may be overwhelming

to decide whats best. If youre

feeling tired or swollen or

experiencing aches and

pains not associated with an

injury, try changing the way

you eat and see whether

your symptoms improve.

Consider these options.

Gluten-free diet

What it is: A diet that ex-

cludes the protein gluten.

Gluten is found in grains such

as wheat, barley, rye and

triticale (a cross between

wheat and rye). Gluten causes

inflammation in the small

EATS & PAINSHow your

diet canaggravate or ease what ails you

By Lisa StearnsFor Gannett

If youre experiencin

ACHES AND PAINS

not associated with ainjury, try changing th

way you eat and see

whether yoursymptoms improve.

BEST BODY


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ESSENTIAL NUTRITION

Eat like a

CAVEMANPaleo dietserves up Stone Age cuisine for improved health, weight loss

By Leigh Farr

I

magine noshingonly on foodsthat can be hunt-ed or gathered.Thats what pro-

ponents of the Paleodiet claim we need todo in order to be lean-er and less prone togetting chronic ill-nesses like diabetes,heart disease and can-cer. This culinary ap-

proach harkens backto a pre-agriculturalera when our ances-tors were not yet privyto processed foods,dairy products andrefined sugars, culpritsthat Paleo advocatesblame for much of to-

days chronic illnessand obesity.

THE PALEO DIET INCLUDES

MEAT, FISH, SHELLFISH,

EGGS, VEGETABLES,

FRUITS, NUTS AND SEEDS.


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Primal Plan

The Paleo diet, taken from the

term Paleolithic, includes

meat, fish, shellf ish, eggs,

vegetables, fruits, nuts and

seeds. What you dont eat in

this nutritional plan is as im-

portant as what you do con-

sume. Foods to avoid include

whole grains, dairy products,potatoes, sugar, salt or proc-

essed foods.

There is no scientific

evidence that supports the

claims of the Paleo diet, how-

ever the good aspects are its

low in sugar, low in saturated

fats, includes a lot of good

quality foods, fewer chemicals

and less packaged foods, says

Jim White, a spokesperson for

the Academy of Nutrition and

Dietetics and owner of Jim

White Fitness and Nutrition

Studios in Virginia Beach, Va.

On the other hand, says

White, eliminating nutrient-

rich foods from your diet can

be dicey.

By deleting foods like

dairy and whole grains which

studies have shown help to

prevent cancer and bone loss,

I feel that people are going to

have major cracks in theirplates and theyre going to

have major deficiencies

which may affect them later

in life, says White.

White also cautions that

decreasing your carbo-

hydrate intake so signifi-

cantly can lower your ener-

gy, particularly if you are

athletic.

People do feel better on

the Paleo diet, but following

a low carbohydrate diet isnot fun, especially when

youre an athlete trying to

build muscle and train for

distance, says White.

Making it Work

Any nutritional plan with strin-

gent guidelines can be chal-

lenging to maintain and the

Paleo diet is no exception,

says White. However, he says,

there are ways to modify it to

suit a more modern lifestyle.

Increasing the whole

grains and knocking down thefats to less than 30 percent of

daily calories from fat would

be a more ideal meal plan and

more livable, he says. Accord-

ing to a U.S. News and World

report, the Paleo diet serves

up about 39 percent of daily

calories from fat, exceeding

current recommendations.

Since the diet offers little in

terms of calcium, White sug-

gests boosting your intake by

adding two to three daily

servings of organic skim milk

or Greek yogurt.

White suggests doing a trial

run to determine whether the

diet is right for you.

Give it 30 days as a jump

start and then get into a little

bit more realistic plan, he

advises. If it helps you lose

weight and gets you motivated

to start working out more, but

then switch it over to some-

thing more livable.

White recommends seek-

ing professional guidance to

help you get started.

PHOTOS BY

ISTOCKPHOTO/

THINKSTOCK

WEIGHT

LOSS

ON PALEO

Most people starton the Paleo diet tolose weight. Thereare two ways theregimen can helpyou shed unwantedpounds. First, by

decreasing theamount of carbo-hydrates you con-sume, you can losewater weight.

Second, many peo-ple eat highamounts of un-healthy carbo-hydrates.. The Paleodiet offers less ofthese foods andmore filling, high-protein, high-fiberfood sources.

When you go on ameal plan like this,youre getting rid ofyour high amountsof unhealthy carbo-hydrates and withthat there will incura weight loss, morefrom decreasingportion sizes anddecreasing calories,says White.

The amount ofprotein and fiber

you get in the Paleoregimen serves as anappetite suppres-sant. In a small studypublished in Nutri-tion and Metabo-lism, participants onthe Paleo diet re-ported they were

just as full yet con-sumed fewer calo-ries than thoseconsuming a Medi-terranean diet.

To help you transi-

tion to a new wayof eating, the Paleodiet allows threecheat meals aweek for you to eatwhat you wish.

Since the Paleodiet offers little interms of calcium,boost your intake

by adding 2 to 3daily servings oforganic skim milkor Greek yogurt.


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MAKEOVER

FALLCOLORChanging

hair shadesablaze thisseason withreds, pinksand teals

SHOULD YOU

GO IT ALONE?

While nothing beats theexpertise and product qualityavailable from a good salon,Shannon Wells of Salon IQadmits that economic con-cerns often lead people downthe DIY hair color aisle. A fewguidelines will help you getthe most from that box.

Know what youre gettinginto. Is the color semi-perma-nent, demi-permanent, orpermanent? (Hint: semi-permanent comes ready toapply, others require mixing.)Covering gray, Shannoncautions, demands perma-nent color.

Dont judge a box by itscover. The model in thatpicture doesnt have yourhair; read the description.

Use the buddy system.Whatever your kids believe,you dont actually have eyesin the back of your head.Friends dont let friendsmiss spots.

Please. Read the in-structions. Youre playingwith chemistry here, and eachbrand is different. Also, set atimer. That quick glance atthe clock might lead to over-processed locks.

Going to extremes? Dra-matic changes are a multi-step process, best left in the

hands of professionals. Dont be one-dimension-al. Natural-looking colorhas movement and tonalvariation.

Maintenance is key. Salonproducts help color last, and agood stylist will help youchoose the right ones, evenfor DIY color. Bonus: whilethey cost a bit more, salonproducts are concentrated.You use less, says Shannon.


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Highlights, lowlights, reds, pinks, or teals the best place to watch the changing colorsof fall might be your own mirror. In the spring and summer people like to go lighter,says Shannon Wells, owner of Salon IQ on Market Street, www.saloniqtally.com. Asthe seasons turn, she explains, clients often add lowlights to gradually transition to adarker winter color.

Not everyone prefers sub-

tlety, however. Bright colors

and pastels are huge right

now, Wells said. You

wont see chunks of color

or that zebra look you

might have seen in the

past, though. Instead,

look for softer streaks of

lavender, teal, or pink,

with teal riding the crest

of the fashion wave. The

popular ombre look, with

graduated color from roots to

tips, is on its way out; instead,

Wells recommends

zombre, a softer look,

perhaps with pastels.

Some women (and men)

dont want a big change. They

opt for hair coloring as a way to

avoid a change to gray. A

lot of people decide to color

their hair for the first time tohide or blend grays, Wells

said. Once that first step is

taken, she said, they may real-

ize theyve always wanted to be

a redhead or a blonde. What

Shannon doesnt recommend is

stubbornly sticking with the

color you had as a kid. That

can age you. My job is to gently

steer clients towards something

that will actually make them

look 10 years younger.

Thats why a consulta-

tion is so important.

A consultation with an

experienced stylist is a key step

in getting the color and look

you want. Wells, Salon IQs

co-owner, Kevin Hamilton, and

their team of stylists combine

years of experience to evaluate

a clients lifestyle and color

preference to determine the

best products to use. The

beach, the sun, the pool all

affect hair color. We get to

know our clients lifestyle. An

initial hair color appointment

will take an hour to an hour

and a half with a consultation,

Wells said. If a client is ner-

vous or uncertain, Ill block out

even more time. A client might

want to go blonde, but well

evaluate eye color, skin tone,

and face shape to determine

the right shade. Well talk

while theyre in my chair.

Ill explain what products

Im using to make their

hair look the way they

want and make the

color last longer. It really

is all about the product.

Male clients, she says,

often opt for color from

Salon IQs Goldwell line for

men, with only 5 minutes

processing time. It blends gray,

doesnt show roots easily, and

doesnt look colored. Hamil-

ton, formerly owner of KH

Hairgroup, will soon be open-

ing Tallahassees first luxury

barbershop for those clients

right next door, Wells said. Its

been a dream Kevin has had

for a long time.

Hair color doesnt have to

be permanent. Semi- and

demi-permanent colors are less

damaging and offer a tempor-

ary change, gradually washing

out. Have fun with it, Wells

suggests. Goldwells Elumen

line offers vibrant colors that

last 4-6 weeks, perfect for

holiday hairstyles. In the end,

its hair. It grows out.

By Tricia Dulaney

The popular OMBRE

look, with graduated

color from roots to tips,

IS ON ITS WAY OUT;

instead try the

zombre, a softer look,perhaps with pastels.

PHOTOS BY ISTOCKPHOTO/THINKSTOCK


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Its way too fun to think of

Zumba as exercise. The

sexy dance moves seep

into your soul and be-

fore you know it youre

hooked. Its Thursday night

and in desperation, you scan

the rec center schedules and

gyms for a Zumba class. When

you find none malaise setsin until your next class.

Maybe its the tribal drum

beats that vibrate the walls that

speak to you or that slow

romantic ballad sung by En-

rique Iglesias that has you

swaying your hips back and

forth or the hip-hop songs

more likely to be found at

night clubs.

People flock to Zumbas

Latin-inspired dance work-

out for many reasons

besides the promised

calorie burn evidenced

by the puddles of

sweat and spent

muscles. Some say,

including me,

Happy danceBy Elise Oberliesen

GOING CLUBBING WITH ZUMBA ON MY ARM

SMART FITNESS


15/32

out 45 degrees during squats,

Greisl says it targets inner

thigh muscles.

But that sounds like exer-

cise while Zumba feels like

a high energy expression of

body loaded with fun sexy

dance moves.

Try it you just might

get hooked, roped in and

mesmerized by the music andthe moves.

TOP 10 ZUMBA TUNESIf its the sensual sounds of Zumba music that keepsyou coming back, then check out my top 10 songlist. Here are a few of my favoritesand possiblymy next Day of the Dead party playlist.

1. Bailando,by Enrique Iglesias

2. Marioneta,by Zumba Fitness

3. La La La, by Shakira4. Zumba He Zumba Ha(feat. Soldat Jahman & LuisGuisao), by DJ Mams

5. Calabria, by Enur Natasja

6. Mumbai Mashup -

Bollywood Fusion, by ZumbaFitness

7. Sweet Girl, by ZumbaFitness, (Ferda & Maike)

8. Cubia Arabe,by Afrosound

9. Frukos Boogaloo,by Pa Goza Con Fruko

10. Tie Zumba, byThorax, (Pitbull Album)and Zumba, by Don Omar

going to Zumba is like going

clubbing whether its a

Monday at 5:30 p.m. or

Saturday at 8 a.m.

The pure fun and cre-

ative expression of Zumba

keeps many folks coming

back for more, says Kelly

Greisl, who teaches classes

at Premier Health and Fit-

ness in TallahasseeTo play up the idea of going

clubbing during Zumba, Greisl

even refers to classes as club

cardio. And she gets a fair

amount of kudos for picking the

right songs that keep her dance

mates moving along from

salsa and samba, to Bolly-

wood, or even some Russian

inspired music genres.

Most people come for

the atmosphere and let the

music drive the movement,

Greisl says.

April Pinner, one of her

regulars, fell in love with

Zumba three years ago, and

refers to herself as dance

crazy. As a natural born lover

of dance, she anxiously awaits

each class and sometimes

wishes they wouldnt end.

The clock flies when youre

in Zumba, says Pinner. Then

she realizes, sadly, Theres onlytwo minutes left.

While Zumba may seem to

possess a cultish following, the

thing is, people who love to

dance love to Zumba and

the desire to dance wins.

We get really happy about

dancing. I do other classes like

conditioning, but I actually get

excited to do Zumba, it kind of

puts you in the mindset of

dance, says Pinner.

People in her class love it so

much, they sometime even

break out into flash mobs and

two-hour fundraising zum-

bathons, says Pinner.

In Greisls class, she keeps

things interesting by occasional-

ly pulling songs out of the

vault the old favorites that

people forget until hearing

familiar tunes that send them

into fits of booty-shaking

arm- rattling fun.

Turns out, the film Slum-

dog Millionaire, directed by

Danny Boyle, may have pop-

ularized the term Bollywood,

film productions rooted in

Indian culture and Hindi

language. The Bollywood-

inspired song Mast Kalander

is one of Greisls top picks.

Bollywood has gotten

very popular, says Greisl,

adding that Moomba is

another genre with an

Indian, eastern feel and one

thats closer to hip-hop.Greisl often puts the two

genres together and refers to

it as a Bollywood, hip-hop

mashup, something her

class raves about.

She said the choreography

used for Bollywood and

Moomba songs includes

flexed feet and chest popping

where you thrust the chest

out while squeezing the

shoulder blades together.

String together some

shoulder shimmies and hip

rolls and youve got a sexy

move that kills calories.

By using slow and controlled

muscle movements, or iso-

metrics, its easy to tone up

your core, biceps and triceps.

While side lunges, or squats,

combined with bent knees that

keep you low to the ground

target the leg muscles and

bring on the burn.

By pointing your toes



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COVER STORY

hopeWith wigs and breast forms,CYNTHIA DOUGLASdispensescaring and encouragementfor women with breast cancer

Business of


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It is one of the worst days of your life:Your doctor has just told you the diagnosisis breast cancer. She recommends amastectomy. Oh, and by the way, she says the chemotherapy thats included willnauseate you and make all your hair fall

out. Suddenly your life, your sexuality, and yourpersonal and public persona are all at risk.For many women, on such a day, it is hard to holdonto the you inside.

Cynthia Douglas, a movie-

star beautiful woman with per-

fect mocha skin, has seen near-

ly 1,200 women both pre and

post mastectomy at this very

point. She sees their scars. She

holds them as they cry. She

helps them mourn both their

breasts and the mounds of

thick hair that almost overnightfall out in hands-full. And then,

she gets on with the business of

giving them hope. She is not a

physician nor a social worker,

but Douglas interventions are

nothing if not therapeutic.

Walking into the salon-like

ambiance of Cynthias Wig

Boutique is more like going to

an upscale cosmetology spa

than the office of a certified

prosthesis fitter. In the welcom-

ing atmosphere filled with soft

contemporary furniture, orien-

tal rugs, and private silk-cov-

ered screens, the pampering

begins immediately. Whether

the client comes in to choose a

wig, a beautiful scarf instead of

a wig, or to be fitted with a bra

and breast form insert, Douglas

is filled with caring and it

must be said a kind of joy. Iknow that this work is exactly

what I was made to do, she

says. You have no idea what its

like seeing the transformation

when a woman can toss her

hair again and put on a sweater

that shows her figure to its fin-

est. It is wonderful.

But how did this bright, en-

ergy-filled woman come to this

very particular calling, one that

some might feel is depressing

or draining?

By Marina Brown


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It wasnt my first career,

laughs Douglas. I had started

out to become a nurse, she

says. But after a year at Talla-

hassee Community College,

Douglas military husband was

transferred out of state. Put-

ting nursing on hold, she went

into banking. Later, returning

to Tallahassee, she rose in that

profession at Hancock and at

Capital City Bank, where she

worked for 15 years. Like

nursing, banking is a helping

profession too, she says. But

there was a glamorous streak

in her that wouldnt stay quiet.

Along the way, I went to

cosmetology school and

learned how to care for hair.

Ive always had an interest in

hair styling and...again, in

making people feel better

about themselves.

It was about that time that

Douglas and her husband who

had adopted two children diag-

nosed on the autism spectrum

were in a serious automobile

accident. After that it was

difficult for me to sit for long

periods at the bank. I really had

to change what I was doing.

And as if it were a directive

from on high, Douglas began to

volunteer at the American Can-

cer Society in a program called,

Look Good Feel Better where

cosmetologists volunteer their

time and expertise. It wasnt

long before Douglas became the

coordinator of the program.

Cynthia Douglas, owner CynthiasWig Boutique, is certified in fittingbreast forms. PHOTOS BY MICHAELSCHWARZ/SPECIAL TO THE DEMOCRAT;

PINK RIBBON: ISTOCKPHOTO/THINKSTOCK

Givingwomenback controlof theirappearancewhen somuch intheir liveshas gone outof control iswhat bringsme joy.

CYNTHIA DOUGLAS



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By that time I knew I want-

ed to have my own shop, and a

store solely for beautiful wigs

seemed like a perfect idea.

But after a few years in a Mar-

ket Street location she began to

notice something. Most all of

my clients were cancer pa-

tients. By word of mouth they

were advertising my shop to

each other. Douglas notes thatmore often than she would like,

a woman who is losing her hair

is never told where she can go

to get her identity back with

both dignity and even a little

fun (think Cynthias wig par-

ties where a whole family will

come to help the client try on

and choose a wig.)

In her new store, located

next to the Tallahassee Cancer

Institute, Douglas acts in coor-

dination with navigators at

Capital Regional Medical Cen-

ter professionals who col-

laborate with patients as they

wind through the labyrinth of

surprises and challenges of

dealing with breast cancer.

But even though shelves of

almond-eyed mannequins in

sophisticated wigs of both

synthetic and human hair sell

from $150-$1,000, through the

American Cancer Society,Douglas is able to offer recy-

cled Wigs of Love free to

those in need. Yet it is her

other specialty which may be

even more appreciated.

I am Certified by the

American Board of Orthotics,

Prosthetics and Pedorthics,

she reads from a medallion.

Finding the proper fit,

weight, and comfort level is

vital after breast surgery.

Douglas herself wears one of

her products following a lum-

pectomy some years ago.

Breast forms (that slip

inside special bras) have to

meet the hug test, she says.

The soft, malleable product

must be able to reshape itself

quickly following an embrace.

Forms are designed to move

like a normal breast, wick

away perspiration and come in

a skin-appropriate color.

Insurance will pay for new

forms once every two years,

says Douglas. Luckily,

through our work with the

American Cancer Society, we

receive forms that are nolonger needed when a woman

decides to have breast recon-

struction. We then recycle and

pass them on to women who

on their own may not be able

to afford forms, which can run

nearly $300 per breast.

But with her helping sensi-

bilities and ability to see solu-

tions to problems, Cynthia

Douglas found herself identi-

fying needs beyond her salon.

With an energetic laugh, she

says, I recently started a food

pantry through my church.

Weve processed 6,800

pounds of food and served

241people! Douglas, who

believes in making every act

count, devised a point system

which helps visitors to the

pantry become financially

literate and make good food

choices while they shop.

And where does the bright-eyed Cynthia Douglas see

herself in five years? Without

hesitation she says, Fran-

chized. Envisioning a string

of wig and prosthetic salons

plus a pink and black R.V.

that will visit cancer centers

around the state to provide

fitted prostheses and donated

wigs to those who dont know

where to turn is her goal.

Giving women back con-

trol of their appearance when

so much in their lives has gone

out of control is what brings

me joy, she says.

And if theres one woman

who has things under control,

it seems to be the very dy-

namic Cynthia Douglas.

Cynthia Douglas, owner Cynthias Wig Boutique, meets with a clientbeing fitted with external prosthetic breasts.


22/32

21 century

midwivesarestill birthing

babies thetraditional way

WHAT DOES

A DOULA DO?

While in the best of allworlds, midwives have verylittle to do during thebirthing process, they arein fact, medical profession-als who bring a range ofskills to the experiencewhen necessary.

Doulas, on the other hand,are there simply to giveemotional and physical

support to the mother.Doulas stay with themother during birth,helping her to say calmand comfortable, andwhen needed, assisting incommunications betweenthe mother, the partner,and the midwife.

Doulas assist before birthand after as well, providinginformation and much-need emotional support tomothers during pregnancyand helping them to pre-

pare for the experience ofgiving birth.

After birth, doulas canassist with caring for thenewborn, and helping withmeals and light house-keeping during the firstfew days after the babysarrival. Doulas can alsoprovide information aboutfeeding the new baby. Likemidwives, doulas aretrained and certified.

PREGNANT WOMAN AND MIDWIFE: BANANASTOCK RF/THINK

Specialdelivery

ALTERNATIVE HEALTH

AFTER BIRTH, doulascan assist with caring forthe newborn, andhelping with meals andlight housekeepingduring the first few daysafter the babys arrival.Doulas can also provideinformation aboutfeeding the new baby.


23/32

Midwifery is more than a medical spe-cialty; its a philosophy of childbirth.Midwives and the families they assist

believe that childbirth is a natural experience thatwhen left to nature will more often than not cometo a happy and safe conclusion. The midwifes job

is to monitor, rather than orchestrate, the birth ex-perience, in the belief that women can give birthon their own without the need for high-tech gad-getry and medical interventions.

The midwife approach also

supports childbirth as a family-

centered experience. The mid-

wife doesnt run the show, the

parents, do. With a midwife in

charge, the parents can have

whatever type of birth experi-

ence they like as long as the

safety of the mother and child

are kept paramount.

Not that long ago in human

history, midwives were the only

people who delivered babies. In

the United States most babies

come into the world in hospitals

with the help of obstetricians,

but midwives havent slipped

quietly into the mists of history.

While having a midwife attend

the birth of your child might

seem trendy, its really physi-

cian-assisted births that are a

new-fangled notion.

The Midwives Alliance of

North America states that 80

percent of people alive today

were born with midwives. And

though not nearly so many

people are born that way in the

modern, industrialized world,

midwife-assisted birth is still a

common practice. According to

the American College of

Nurse-Midwives, midwives

attended 313,846 U.S. births

in 2012, the last year for which

data is available.

Though midwifery is an

ancient tradition, midwives

have moved into the modern

age with everyone else. Certi-

fied midwives and certified

nurse midwives are highly

trained and licensed health-care

professionals. Midwives do

everything physicians do for a

normal birth, such as blood

work, urine testing, measuring

the uterus, ordering ultra-sounds, and listening the fetus.

In addition to attending the

births of babies, midwives also

provide a full range of repro-

ductive care for mothers.

But Is It Safe?Though debate still rages about

the safety of home births, many

studies show home births are

just as safe as hospital births.

Layla Swisher, a licensed, certi-

fied professional midwife at the

Birth Center in Tallahassee,

explains why midwife-assisted

birth is so safe. I take care of

low-risk, healthy mothers. I

am an expert in normal, in

variations of normal, and in

knowing when things are no

longer normal. And when

things arent normal, it be-

comes a job for an obstetri-

cian, Swisher explains.

Even though home birthsare safe, many women prefer to

go somewhere other than their

bedrooms to give birth. For

those moms, birthing centers

provide a home-like birth at-

tended by a midwife. The Birth

Cottage in Tallahassee is an

example of such a birthing

center. At the Birth Cottage,

moms give birth in a cozy

environment, surrounded by

their families and with the

support and expertise of a

licensed, certified midwife.

Most families go home

with their newest member

about three hours after the

birth, Swisher said. Every

woman who gives birth here

says, after giving birth, That

was the hardest thing Ive ever

done, and Im really proud of

myself for having done it.

By Avery Hurt

LTRASOUND: ISTOCKPHOTO/THINKSTOCK

Midwives do everything physicians do for a normal

birth, such as blood work, urine testing, measuring the

uterus, ordering ultrasounds, and listening the fetus.



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When Stuart Burkhalter and his wife, Julie,were ready to have a baby, she startedtaking vitamins and the couple packed

for one final fling.

Pregnancy, they figured,

was as easy as deciding to try.

But it wasnt so simple.

Instead, for two years the

couple wrestled with infertility.

Specimens. Syringes. Surgery.

Sadness.

As Stuart Burkhalter strug-

gled with the journey, the

33-year-old Nashville, Ten-

nessee, lawyer realized that

while the resources for

educating women on the

issue are plentiful, men

often get overlooked.

Financially, physically,

emotionally, psychologically

the experience was drain-

ing like nothing else. For him

as well as his wife.

So he started writing a

book, Catawampus, that tells

of the madness and confusionof fertility treatments from

a mans perspective. Through

humor and heartache, he

hoped to offer support.

When you are in the mid-

dle of this, it seems very

bleak, Burkhalter said. I

guess what I was looking for

was a bit of fellow feeling or

camaraderie. I realize there

are lots of other people out

there who are experiencing or

have experienced something

similar. Perhaps this is just

a recognition that a lot of

this process is completely

ridiculous.

Its just a little be-

wildering.

Try, try againMaybe he was naive.

But when it first became

FEATURE

Madness of infertility:

THE MANSPERSPECTIVEBy Jessica BlissGannett

I guess what I waslooking for was a bit

of fellow feeling or

camaraderie.

I realize there are

lots of other people

out there who are

experiencing or have

experienced

something similar.

Perhaps this is just

a recognition that alot of this process is

completely

ridiculous.



25/32

clear that getting pregnant

was an issue, Burkhalter be-

lieved there would be an obvi-

ous solution.

I thought, OK, if theres a

problem, well get a diagnosis,

well fix it and then it will be

fine, he said.

Instead, failure after

failure. There were a ton of

medical theories but noreal conclusion.

I was shocked about the

lack of an answer, he said.

For two years, they

searched for one.

It started rather simply.

Three months of Clomid a

basic fertility drug prescribed

by an obstetrician after the

couple expressed concern

about Julie Burkhalters irreg-

ular periods.

Then there was the referral

to a fertility center, and the

fertility alphabet soup that

ensued. First an IUI (intrauter-

ine insemination), where the

sperm is placed inside the

womans uterus to facilitate

insemination. Then lapa-

roscopy surgery, which

was, as Stuart Burkhalter

puts it, allegedly zapping

endometriosis.

That was followed by IUIafter IUI after IUI.

It is just kind of like hop-

ping on a train, Burkhalter

said. You try one thing, it

doesnt work, and then its like,

OK, whats next?

At each step, Burkhalter

became further confused. The

steps they were taking were

supposedly helping, but at the

end of the day it was always a

theory, he said.

And then, when another

attempt would fail, he would

become aggravated with the

whole process and think,

What are we doing?

Still, Burkhalter did his best

to buy in. He needed to.

You have to have a posi-

tive attitude with each of these

sort of tries, he said. I might

be naturally skeptical, but

obviously I wasnt vocally

skeptical during any of these

experiences, because you

have to be convinced its going

to work if you have any

chance of having it work.

In truth he wasnt very

vocal about the process at all.

While Julie Burkhalter, 33,

became increasingly disheart-

ened, she turned to friends forsupport and guidance. Stuart

Burkhalter, in contrast, mostly

remained mum.

Stay strongStill, Stuart Burkhalters role

was to be strong.

For his wife, having chil-

dren is what she dreamed

about. When she was planning

her future, she didnt imagine

becoming an astronaut or a

high-powered business wom-

an. She wanted to be a mom.

I think a lot of men want

to be fathers, Julie Burkhalter

said, but a lot of them, too,

think its a natural occurrence.

They dont crave it.

Julie Burkhalter did, and

she felt burdened by not being

able to provide a child. From

her husband, she needed

reassurance that no matter

what happened they would

get through it and he would be

there for her.

And I needed someone to

talk me off a ledge on a reg-

ular basis, she said.

So her husband did.

We quitThe Burkhalters breaking

point came after the secondfailed IVF.

We were emotionally,

completely wiped out, Stuart

Burkhalter said.

So they quit.

Everything.

No more drugs. No more

fertility doctors.

Julie Burkhalter took

some supplements and

changed her diet, but fertil-

ity drugs and procedures

were a thing of the past.

Her husband was all in: I

was like, We dont need to

talk about it. We dont need to

think about it. We dont need

to worry about it.

So they took a breath. And

then Julie Burkhalter began to

feel dif ferently.

She talked about taking

a pregnancy test, and Stuart

Burkhalter responded:

Why bother?

But, when the news

came at 5 a.m. one morn-

ing, Julie Burkhalter woke

up her husband.

And just like that, every-

thing was over. All the stress.

All the heartache.

A baby was on the way.

It was a very good mo-

ment, Stuart Burkhalter said.

Moving onFor the Burkhalters, the story

has a sweet ending. They have

an 18-month-old little girl, and

Julie Burkhalter is pregnant

with their second child.

The couple cant explain

why it happened when it did.

They believe the natural route

and not the doctor-led

warpath was a factor.

Stuart Burkhalter also

knows that although his jour-

ney to fatherhood has ended

as he hoped, many other men

still struggle to find their way

through the process.

He hopes his book will

help with that. With some

humor and some reflection,

he wants to become a voice

of support where there

otherwise may be none.

The Burkhalters tried in-vitro fertilization, twice.



26/32


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TAILGATE AT

THE TUCK

Oct. 4, Oct. 18

No need to lug a coolerwhen you attend Tailgateat the Tuck. Four hoursbefore FSU home game

kickoff, area food truckswill converge at the DonaldL Tucker Center, 505 W.Pensacola St., creating onemassive party includingmusic, giveaways, beerspecials and of course greatfood. For more informa-tion, call 487-1691or go totlccc.org/events_html/TAIL-GATE_AT_THE_TUCK.html.

MISSION SAN LUIS

BLESSING OF THE

ANIMALS

Oct. 4, 10 a.m.-3 p.m.

Mission San Luis, 2100 W.Tennessee St., invites ani-mals and their friends to beblessed at this annual eventin remembrance of St. Fran-cis, patron saint of animals.Mission San Luis is a pet-friendly site, so bring yourcompanions and enjoy the

park setting and living his-tory programs year-round.For more information, call245-6406 or go tomissionsanluis.org/.

MOON OVER

MACLAY JAZZ

IN THE PARK

Oct. 5, 6-9 p.m.

Maclay Gardens State Parkfeatures the Friends ofMaclay Gardens 2014 Moon

Over Maclay jazz concertBring a blanket or chairs,picnic dinner and your fa-vorite beverage and listento the Three Divas and TheLeon Anderson Group onthe Maclay House lawn.Stroll the brick path to theMaclay House to see thescary and funny scarecrowscreated by youth groups,

businesses and nonprofitsin our area. Tickets are $25adult; $10 student. Formore information, call487-4115 or go to friendsofmaclaygardens.com/.

ZOOBILEE AT

TALLAHASSEEMUSEUM

Oct. 10, 7-10 p.m.

This year the Zoobileetheme is a Mardi GrasMasquerade and will fea-ture music, local eats, andan open bar. For more in-formation, call 850-575-8684 or go to http://talla-hasseemuseum.org/.

GO PINK 5K

Oct. 11, 8 a.m.

The second annual Go Pink5K and 1 mile fun run willbe in the Market Squaredistrict, with registration at7 a.m. in Market Square,1015 Timberlane Road. 5Kcost is $25 before Oct. 9,$30 on race day. 1 Mile FunRun is $15 in advance, $20on race day. Proceeds from

AROUND TOWN

Elvis and Priscilla, owned byMary and Bob Cox, receivea blessing from Father

Craig Smith at last yearsBlessing of Animals.GLENN BEIL/DEMOCRAT FILES



29/32

this race will benefit JoannaFrancis Living Well. On June1, 2014 Joanna lost her bat-tle with cancer, but herfoundation created to helplocal families living withbreast cancer lives on. Regis-ter for the Go Pink 5K andcontinue Joannas dream ofLiving Well at racesmith.com/races/GoPink5K.html.For sponsorship opportuni-

ties please [email protected].

WILDLIFE ALERTS

4TH ANNUAL

RUN WILD 5K

Oct. 11, 8 a.m.

Run through Cascades Parkand Myers Park to help con-serve Floridas fish, wildlifeand natural resources. Regis-tration fee is $15 before Oct.8, and $20 after noted date.

Day of race registration andstaging will be at the BryantBuilding, 620 South Merid-ian Street. Proceeds willbenefit Wildlife Alert. Formore information, go tohttp://www.active.com/tallahassee-fl/running/run-wild-2014.

16TH ANNUAL

OKTOBERFEST

Oct. 17, 7 p.m.

Elder Care Services will hostits 16th Annual Oktoberfestat the Mission San Luis, 2100W. Tennessee St. Oktober-fest is Elder Care Servicessignature fundraising event,featuring beer and brat-wurst and entertainmentunder the majestic oaks of

Mission San Luis. Generaladmission tickets are $55,VIPtickets are $100 at availableat eldercareservices.ticket-leap.com/elder-care-services.Silent Auction donationsalso being accepted. Eachauction item should have aretail value of at least $50.Desired items include: vaca-tion packages, sports equip-ment and tickets, electron-ics, handbags and jewelry.

To donate an item, pleasecontact Amber R. Tynan [email protected].

TALLAHASSEE

SMPHONY

ORCHESTRA: POWER

AND PROWESS

Oct. 19, 3-6 p.m.

The first concert of the sea-son will feature music by

two musical powerhouses,Russians Rachmaninoff andProkofiev. Pianist KatherineChi, winner of the presti-

gious Honens Piano Compe-tition, will demonstrateperform one of the greatvirtuoso works for pianoand orchestra Rachmani-noffs Rhapsody on a Themeof Paganini. This will befollowed by Prokofievs FifthSymphony. Tickets rangefrom $10 to $55. For moreinformation, call 224-0461 orgo to tallahasseesymphony.org/.

MAKING STRIDES

AGAINST BREAST

CANCER

Oct. 19, 1p.m.

Making Strides AgainstBreast Cancer is a celebra-

tion of survivorship and afight to end breast cancer.The American Cancer SocietyMaking Strides of Leon

County walk begins at Cas-cades Park, 912 Myers ParkDrive. Registration for thenon-competitive, 5K (3.1mile) event starts at 11 a.m.Contact Kyla Pugh at [email protected] or call785-9205.

OPENING NIGHTS:

CREATIVE

CONVERSATIONS

Oct. 21, 6:30-8:30 p.m.

Opening Nights new series,Creative Conversations, pullsback the stage curtain andexplores topics in the arts.Free discussion will covertopics relevant in the 2014-2015 Season. FSU Alumni

Will Peters, decked in a pink helmet and face paint, runs in the Go Pink! 5K.MICHAEL SCHWARZ/DEMOCRAT FILE



30/32

Center Ballroom, 1030 W.Tennessee St. For more in-formation, call 644-7670 orgo to opening-nights.fsu.edu/engage/cam-pus-community/creative/.

WINE TOSS

WITH SPIRIT

Oct. 22, 6-9 p.m.

Spirit of a Child Foundationis holding a Wine Toss withSpirit hosted by Aloft Hoteldowntown at 200 N. Mon-roe St. The event is a fund-raiser for the nonprofit,which has a mission WeHelp Families Grow Strong-er with a goal to breakthe cycle of generationalfamily dysfunction. Thegroup is raising money forits Parent-Child Project 14on Nov. 28-30 to take 10underprivileged familiesfrom the Leon county areato St. George Island. Thegroup also has a fundraiserNov.15 at 6:30 at the Amer-ican Legion Hall called AnEvening with Spirit: ChrisCollins A Tribute to JohnDenver. Tickets are $20. For

more information, visit spir-itofachildfoundation.org.

GEM OF THE OCEAN

BY AUGUST WILSON

Oct. 22-24, 8 p.m., Oct. 25, 2

and 8 p .m., Oct. 26, 3 p.m.

Play follows the story ofAunt Ester, a 285-year-oldformer slave, who takes

wandering fugitive CitizenBarlow into her PittsburghHill District home and guideshim on a mystical journey. .Showing at Charles WinterWood Theatre/EdmondsStage, 515 Orr Drive (on thecampus of FAMU). Admis-sion: $15 adult, $12 seniorcitizen & FAMU employeewith ID, $8 student/child,FAMU student free with ID.For more information, call850-561-2425 or go tofamu.edu.

GREEK FOOD

FESTIVAL

Oct. 24-25, 10 a.m.-10 p.m.

Two-day annual festival heldat the Holy Mother of GodGreek Orthodox Church,1645 Phillips Road. Enjoy all

things Greek food, in-cluding pastries, gyros, spa-nakopita, moussaka and allyour other favorites, ouzo,music, dancing. For moreinformation, call 878-0747or go to http://www.hmog.org/festival.

HALLOWEEN HOWL

Oct. 24-25, 6-10 p.m.

A weekend of tricks, treats,live music and wicked funfor the whole family. Activ-ities include two hauntedtrails (one not-so-spooky),carnival games, a costumecontest and trick-or-treating.Non-members $12 foradults, $10 for children,members $10 for adults, $8

for children under 3 free.For more information,call 575-8684 or gototallahasseemuseum.org/.

NEW LEAF MARKET

FARM TOUR

Oct. 25-26

More than 30 local farmsinvite the public to see theirfacilities and learn about theday-to-day operations. Enjoytours of the farms, barnyardanimal encounters and re-freshments. Fresh produce,eggs, meat and other farmproducts available for pur-chase at the end of the tour.Bring cash, a coolor; no pets.For more information, call942-2557 or go to newleaf-market.coop/seminars-events/farm-tour.

DEMOCRAT FILES

Cynthia Connolly pours ataste sample of one of herorganic wines during aNew Leaf Market farm tour.


What happens to a car

that does not go in for its

maintenance? Typically, it

encounters mechanical failure

and the car life span is re-

duced. Similar to a car, our

complicated fragile system

needs to go in for mainte-

nance, or self-care, to sustain

itself. Otherwise, our body

experiences mental health and

physical issues, such as a

nervous breakdown or an

illness, she said. Therefore, it

is important to listen to our

mind and body to care for it.

When we are feeling stress,

aches, irritability, or sickness,

it is our body communicating

to us that we need self-care.

Taking care of ourselves men-

tally and physically can have a

tremendous positive impact

on our self, our relationships

with others, and our overall

well-being.

Self-care tipsSelf-care may be essential, but

its not always easy in practice.

The following tips can help you

exercise good self-care, espe-

cially if youre not used to it.

Make a list. Dont know

what you need to make your-

self feel loved and pampered?

Thats OK, says, Jude Bijou,

author of Attitude Recon-

struction: A Blueprint for

Building a Better Life. The

first step toward practicing

good self-care is to identify the

things that will nurture you.

Start to make a list and

start to identify what kinds of

little things would really nour-

ish you, she said. I think the

first thing is to just recognize

that its not selfish. Youre

practicing good self-care so

you can be your best self. Its a

real cognitive shift.

Think small. Although it

can be, self-care does not

necessarily have to be extrava-

gant to be effective. If you

think it only counts when

youre taking a week-long trip

to a spa for some hard core

pampering, think again. Good

self-care can be something

small a short walk, a bubble

bath, a couple of minutes

alone with your favorite book.

These kinds of baby steps can

go a long way toward making

you feel relaxed and refreshed.

Do unto yourself as you do

unto others. Women are

known for taking care of other

people, almost as if it is in our

DNA. In order to practice

good self-care, we need to

take this nurturing spirit and

turn it inward.

What women are doing for

others, they need to consider

doing for themselves too,

Chang said. If youre making

sure that other people are

having a good time at a dinner

party, you have to be reflective

and think, are you having a

good time at the dinner party

too? And if youre not, think

about what steps you can take

to make sure you do have a

good time.

Continued 26Z

Care


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