Five Five

BrushstrokesBrushstrokes

Based loosely on Harry Nodin’s Image Grammar, taken from http://www.birnbaumslearners.com/

The Writer as Artist The writer is an artist, painting images of life with specific and identifiable brushstrokes, images as realistic as Wyeth and as abstract as Picasso. In the act of creation, the writer, like the artist, relies on fundamental elements. As water colorist Frank Webb explains, “Pictures are not made of flowers, guitars, people, surf, or turf, but with irreducible elements of art: shapes, tones, directions, sizes, lines, textures, and color”. Similarly, writing is not constructed merely from experiences, information, characters, or plots, but from fundamental artistic elements of grammar. -Harry R. Noden, Image Grammar

Compare the following images, the first written by a high school student…

It was winter. Everything was frozen and white. Snow had fallen from the sky for days. The weather was horrible.

The second by novelist Brian Jacques…

Mossflower lay deep in the grip of midwinter beneath a sky of leaden gray that showed tinges of scarlet and orange on the horizon. A cold mantle of snow draped the landscape, covering the flatlands to the west. Snow was everywhere, filling the ditches, drifting high against the hedgerows, making paths invisible, smoothing the contours of earth in its white embrace.

Participles and Participial Phrases

– A verbal (usually ending in –ing or -ed) that acts as an adjective.

– Adds more action to a description.

The snake attacked its prey.

Hissing, slithering, and coiling, the snake attacked its prey.

Participles Painted by Ernest Hemingway  Shifting the weight of the line to his left shoulder and kneeling carefully, he washed his hand in the ocean and held it there, submerged, for more than a minute, watching the blood trail away and the steady movement of the water against his hand as the boat moved.

--- Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway

The dog ran to his owner.

The dog ran to his owner as fast as lightning, jumping into his owner’s arms, tackling him, licking his face, showing so much love.

Running to his owner, the dog felt the wind against his fur while the pressure pushed his tongue to the side of his face.

A young giraffe, dehydrated and lost, was relieved when he finally found a pond full to the brim with cold refreshing water.

The giraffe drank the water with its legs spread as low as it can to the ground, and its long tongue scooping the water like a spoon, getting as much as it can in one gulp.

Appositive

– A noun or noun phrase that informs the reader about a preceding noun.

– It expands details in the imagination.

The raccoon enjoys eating turtle eggs.The raccoon, a midnight scavenger, enjoys eating turtle eggs.

Appositives used by professional writers: "The Otis Elevator Company, the world’s oldest and biggest elevator manufacturer, claims that its products carry the equivalent of the world’s population every five days."(Nick Paumgarten, "Up and Then Down." The New Yorker, Apr. 21, 2008)

"Though her cheeks were high-colored and her teeth strong and yellow, she looked like a mechanical woman, a machine with flashing, glassy circles for eyes."(Kate Simon, Bronx Primitive, 1982)

These are taken from http://grammar.about.com/od/ab/g/apposterm.htm There are more examples there as well!

The zebras, one of the deadliest animals in the jungle, turned to face the noise.

The zebras turned to face the booming gunshot.

Some more sentences to add appositives to:

The landscape stretched before them.

Susan's mother stared absent-mindedly into the hallway.

The alligator ambled across the hot Florida highway.

Independent Clauses

– Attach independent clauses to the main action through the use of coordinating conjunctions:

– For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So

The cat climbed the tree.The flowers made it sneeze.The cat made its way to the nest at the top.The birds flew away.

Dependent Clauses

• Use subordinating conjunctions to attach dependent clauses to the main action:

• Although, As, Because, Before, Unless, Until, When, Where, While

The cat climbs the tree, until the flowers make it sneeze.The cat made its way to the nest at the top before the birds could fly away.The birds flew away before the cat made its way to the nest at the top.

Note how these authors use dependent clauses:

“When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people.”--Abraham Joshua Heschel

"I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught.“--Winston Churchill

Loose vs. Periodic SentencesChoose whether your main clause is going to

begin or end your sentence.LOOSE SENTENCES begin with subject and

verb, and then tack on modifiers afterwards.PERIODIC SENTENCES build towards a

culminating main idea– their subject and verb tend to come at the end.

The red-tailed hawk spread its wings.

Here’s a main clause to work with– try adding some modifiers to make the sentence either loose or periodic, whichever seems better:

The frog struggled to stay on the stem.

Was your hawk sentence loose or periodic? Switch it up for the frog! Whatever you tried with the hawk, do the opposite this time.

Some loose and periodic sentences written by professional authors:

Can you guess which is which?

"I knew I had found a friend in the woman, who herself was a lonely soul, never having known the love of man or child." (Emma Goldman)

"In the almost incredibly brief time which it took the small but sturdy porter to roll a milk-can across the platform and bump it, with a clang, against other milk-cans similarly treated a moment before, she fell in love."(P.G. Wodehouse, Something Fresh, 1915)

"The proper place in the sentence for the word or group of words that the writer desires to make most prominent is usually the end."(William Strunk, Jr., and E.B. White, The Elements of Style)