Fine Print - half-hour comedy spec script

  • View

  • Download

Embed Size (px)


Four immigrant women bond to survive New York City while searching for the 'American Dream.' Please adhere to the creative commons copyright and share-a-like. All scripts are registered with the WGA.

Text of Fine Print - half-hour comedy spec script

Don't Forget to Read the Fine PrintGenre: Drama / ComedyFour immigrant women bond to survive New York City while searching for the 'American Dream.'By:M.J. MoneymakerCopyright 2007FADE IN:EXT. WALL STREET - EARLY MORNINGThe RUSH of Wall Street wakes up with men and women passing in business attire, cars zooming, subways rumbling underground, etc.EXT. MIDTOWN, FIFTH AVE. - EARLY MORNINGMore business personnel rush to work. CLOSE-UP OF BRIEFCASES, PALM PILOTS, AND PEOPLE TALKING ON CELL PHONES.LUBOV (V.O.)America. Land of opportunity. Home of the pot of gold where every cloud has a silver lining. SCREECHING BRAKES. EXT. CENTRAL PARK DOG RUN - MORNINGCLOSE-UP OF A PILE OF DOG POOP. A scooper rushes into the frame to scoop up the pile of poop.LUBOV (CONTD)But, no one tells you to read the fine print.LUBOV ROSHKOVA speed walks with one hand full of dog leashesand the other hand filled with the pile of poop she just scooped up. ZOOM TO A WIDE OF CENTRAL PARK.OPENING TITLE CREDITS.INT. ANIMAL SHELTER KENNEL - DAYLubov is putting the dogs back into their cages. Just as she shoves the last one into its kennel, the front desk RECEPTIONIST comes rushing in, hysterical. She grabs Lubov by the arm.LUBOVWhat do you want?RECEPTIONISTYou have to help me!LUBOVWhy?RECEPTIONISTThe dogs. Fighting.Lubov shakes her head and follows the Receptionist out. A black Labrador retriever is crying, holding her front paw to herself. The other dog is being dragged away outside.Lubov approaches the hurt dog cautiously. The black Lab growls at her.OWNERWho are you?RECEPTIONISTShe was a veterinarian in Russia.OWNERWhat about here in America?RECEPTIONISTShes a volunteer. Trust me, she can help.Lubov looks at the dogs paw. It has been chewed up pretty good by the other dog.LUBOV(to the dog)Youll be fine. I take care of it for you.Lubov pets the dog affectionately on the head and looks at the Receptionist.LUBOVGet me a bottle of vodka and the first aid kit.The Receptionist and OWNER stare at her.2.LUBOVWhat are you waiting for? Theres bottle in the back on the shelf by my coat.The Receptionist returns quickly with the first aid box and vodka. Lubov gets the dog to lay down. She takes a long drink from the bottle and then she feeds some of it to the black Lab.OWNERWhat the f--?LUBOVTo help with the pain. Shell be fine.Lubov also pours some of the vodka on the wound and then starts to dress it. The dog never complains.The Owner, annoyed, waits impatiently for Lubov to finish then pulls at the dog dragging it out of the shelter. She leaves Lubov standing there with her bottle of vodka. Lubov, shaking her head, examines the bottle, shrugs, and drinks the last bit of vodka left in the bottle.INT. UPPER WEST SIDE RESTAURANT KITCHEN - AFTERNOONCARMEN LOPEZ is rushing to keep the dessert trays filled as the afternoon lunch crowd fills the restaurant. VERA walks into the kitchen dressed as a waitress.VERACarmen guess what?CARMENA director is sitting at your station?VERAHow do you know?CARMENBecause youve... Never mind. You need to stop harassing them. VERAI am not harassing them. I am performing for them.3.Carmen rolls her eyes. Vera snatches up a small pastry and wanders out of the kitchen.INT. UPPER WEST SIDE RESTAURANT MAIN DINING AREA - CONTINUOUSVera saunters over to the table where she thinks a director is eating. The MAN is sitting alone going over some paperwork and drinking coffee.She does a little twirl and places the plate in front of him.MANI didnt order this.VERAFor you. You a director, yes? I read it on your papers.MANI didnt order this, please take it away.VERAI perform for you. To be or not to be...Vera waves her arms dramatically.MANLady, I am a director of sales. Now, could you please take this away.VERASales. Ah, so you sell actors? Good. Good. You take. Enjoy.Vera pushes the plate to him, in the process, knocks over a glass of water and his cup of coffee. The man jumps up knocking Vera back causing a domino affect where she trips another waiter who spills food onto another table. Chaos erupts.MAN(yelling)You crazy bitch.Paul comes rushing over.VERABitch? I am not female dog. Men are the dogs.4.He grabs Vera by the shoulders and shakes her.MAN(yelling)Lady, what is your problem. Look you ruined my paperwork and I look like I pissed myself.VERAIt was mistake.Paul grabs Vera by the arm and pulls her towards the kitchen. He gesturs for a WAITER steps in to help the man clean up.WAITERSir, were so very sorry. We will make sure to take care of your dry cleaning bill.The chaos calms down as Paul and Vera exit to the kitchen.INT. UPPER WEST SIDE RESTAURANT KITCHEN - CONTINUOUSPaul and Vera come barreling through the kitchen doors nearly knocking over everyone who has been watching through the small glass windows on the doors.PAULGet back to work.Paul looks over at Carmen.PAUL (CONTD)You sure can pickem.He looks down at his feet composing himself. Vera stands staring at him.VERAIm sorry.PAULOkay. His dry cleaning bill comes out of your paycheck.He looks up and puts a hand up before Vera says anything. PAUL (CONTD)Three strikes and youre out. You only have one more. Now, take off the apron and go be hostess. 5.(MORE)All you have to do is stand there and look pretty.Vera hesitates. She looks over at Carmen. Carmen shrugs and continues working on her pastries. When everyone dissipates she glances around, takes a sip of her dessert wine and starts laughing.RAMON, her ex-husband, sneaks up behind her. He stands with his body against hers and whispers in her ear.RAMONWhats so funny?Carmen stiffens.CARMENGet out. You dont work here anymore.RAMONYes, but my wife does.CARMENYour ex-wife. Salgate, Ahora!Carmen whips around and pushes him away from her. Ramon wags a finger at her and pulls papers out of his back pocket.RAMONI am still your husband. See, I havent signed the papers.Carmen looks around for a weapon and to see if anyone is watching them. Not finding a weapon, she takes a step away from Ramon. Angry tears filling her eyes.CARMENBastard. RAMONI spoke with my lawyer, today. If I sign these papers. I cant stay in America because I dont have a job.CARMENSo! That is not my problem. And you are not my responsibility! Just sign the damn papers. You have family back home!6.PAUL (CONTD)Paul walks into the kitchen from the main floor and spots Ramon.PAULCarmen, are you alright?Carmen is startled by Paul, but a look of relief washes over her face.CARMENYes.Ramon looks from Carmen to Paul and back. Ramon turns and approaches Paul so that they are standing within inches of each other.RAMONYou know, she is still my wife.PAULYou dont work here anymore. Get out or I will have you arrested.The two men stare at each other. The noisy kitchen comes to a complete stop as everyone waits to see what is going to happen next. Carmen, finally able to gather herself, steps between the two men.CARMENRamon, leave now. Well talk later.Ramon glances down at Carmen.RAMONWhen later?CARMENLater.Ramon accepts this and growls at Paul.RAMONGringo, bastard. Im watching you.PAULAs I am you.Ramon walks out grabbing a pastry as he goes. Carmen picks up a pastry too. And throws it at him, hitting him in the back of the head with a creme puff.7.EXT. UPPER WIDE SIDE RESTAURANT - LATERVera has changed outfits. She is now wearing a tight red evening dress with a low cut v-neck to her breasts and high cut slits to her thighs on either side. It looks like something she would have worn when she was a model.A young couple walk up to Vera. The YOUNG MAN smiles at Vera staring at her exposed cleavage.YOUNG MANTwo please.VERAEvening, I am Vera. Are you a director?YOUNG MAN(laughs)No, sorry I am not.He is still looking at her cleavage.VERAGo inside and the other hostess will help you then.The Young man smiles and nods still staring. The woman with him scowls and hits him in the arm as she pushes him to walk into the restaurant.YOUNG MANWhat?WOMANYou know what!INT. SUBWAY TRAIN CAR - FIVE OCLOCK RUSH HOURLubov is people watching. Standing in the corner of the car are a couple sucking face. Across from her is an Arabic man with a turban whom everyone keeps eyeing. The WOMAN next to her drops her shopping bag. Lubov picks it up and hands it back to her.The woman doesnt look well.LUBOVAre you Okay?8.WOMANIm sorry. Im just tired.Lubov jerks back from the stench of the womans breathe, which would burst into flames if someone lit-up a cigarette. Lubov shakes her head.The subway train stops. New people get on. A married couple stands in front of her and the alcoholic woman. LUBOVYou dont want to stand there.The alcoholic woman starts heaving. The married couple move. Embarrassed, the woman, grabs for her shopping bag to puke in it, but it is a bit too late. She vomits all over herself and Lubov.The subway car clears out at the next stop except for the alcoholic woman and Lubov. Lubov just sits there shaking her head. LUBOV (V.O.)No one ever mentions the fine print. The long days of work without vacation. The dirt, the vomit, the shit, the stench, the attitudes, the multitudes, the cheats, the pimps, the racism, the reverse racism... It goes on, and on.Lubov exits the subway car at 42nd St. - Time Square Station. Everyone at the subway car door backs up when they smell the stench of vomit emanating from the car and move to enter another subway car. They all give Lubov a disgusted side glance as she exits.INT. CARMENS APARTMENT - NIGHTCarmen and Vera are watching Spanish soap operas. Lubov walks in.VERAGuess what? LUBOVYou got an audition?9.VERAHow do you know?Lubov rolls her eyes and she continues through the small apartment to her room.CARMENWhat is that smell?VERAShe must had bad day.They look at each other, shrug, then turn to the television.INT. CARMENS APARTMENT - LATERLubov has changed and her hair is damp from a shower. Carmen and Vera are still glued to the television.LUBOVAre you ladies going to go to English class?CARMENWe need to find out if Margarita de la noche is going to die.VERAIt seem