Don't Forget to Read the Fine Print

Genre: Drama / Comedy

Four immigrant women bond to survive New York City while searching for the 'American Dream.'

By:M.J. Moneymaker

Copyright © 2007

FADE IN:

EXT. WALL STREET - EARLY MORNING

The RUSH of Wall Street wakes up with men and women passing in business attire, cars zooming, subways rumbling underground, etc.

EXT. MIDTOWN, FIFTH AVE. - EARLY MORNING

More business personnel rush to work.

CLOSE-UP OF BRIEFCASES, PALM PILOTS, AND PEOPLE TALKING ON CELL PHONES.

LUBOV (V.O.)America. Land of opportunity. Home of the pot of gold where every cloud has a silver lining.

SCREECHING BRAKES.

EXT. CENTRAL PARK DOG RUN - MORNING

CLOSE-UP OF A PILE OF DOG POOP.

A scooper rushes into the frame to scoop up the pile of poop.

LUBOV (CONT’D)But, no one tells you to read the fine print.

LUBOV ROSHKOVA speed walks with one hand full of dog leashes and the other hand filled with the pile of poop she just scooped up.

ZOOM TO A WIDE OF CENTRAL PARK.

OPENING TITLE CREDITS.

INT. ANIMAL SHELTER KENNEL - DAY

Lubov is putting the dogs back into their cages. Just as she shoves the last one into its kennel, the front desk RECEPTIONIST comes rushing in, hysterical. She grabs Lubov by the arm.

LUBOVWhat do you want?

RECEPTIONISTYou have to help me!

LUBOVWhy?

RECEPTIONISTThe dogs. Fighting.

Lubov shakes her head and follows the Receptionist out.

A black Labrador retriever is crying, holding her front paw to herself. The other dog is being dragged away outside.

Lubov approaches the hurt dog cautiously. The black Lab growls at her.

OWNERWho are you?

RECEPTIONISTShe was a veterinarian in Russia.

OWNERWhat about here in America?

RECEPTIONISTShe’s a volunteer. Trust me, she can help.

Lubov looks at the dog’s paw. It has been chewed up pretty good by the other dog.

LUBOV(to the dog)

You’ll be fine. I take care of it for you.

Lubov pets the dog affectionately on the head and looks at the Receptionist.

LUBOVGet me a bottle of vodka and the first aid kit.

The Receptionist and OWNER stare at her.

2.

LUBOVWhat are you waiting for? There’s bottle in the back on the shelf by my coat.

The Receptionist returns quickly with the first aid box and vodka.

Lubov gets the dog to lay down. She takes a long drink from the bottle and then she feeds some of it to the black Lab.

OWNERWhat the f--?

LUBOVTo help with the pain. She’ll be fine.

Lubov also pours some of the vodka on the wound and then starts to dress it. The dog never complains.

The Owner, annoyed, waits impatiently for Lubov to finish then pulls at the dog dragging it out of the shelter. She leaves Lubov standing there with her bottle of vodka.

Lubov, shaking her head, examines the bottle, shrugs, and drinks the last bit of vodka left in the bottle.

INT. UPPER WEST SIDE RESTAURANT KITCHEN - AFTERNOON

CARMEN LOPEZ is rushing to keep the dessert trays filled as the afternoon lunch crowd fills the restaurant.

VERA walks into the kitchen dressed as a waitress.

VERACarmen guess what?

CARMENA director is sitting at your station?

VERAHow do you know?

CARMENBecause you’ve... Never mind. You need to stop harassing them.

VERAI am not harassing them. I am performing for them.

3.

Carmen rolls her eyes. Vera snatches up a small pastry and wanders out of the kitchen.

INT. UPPER WEST SIDE RESTAURANT MAIN DINING AREA - CONTINUOUS

Vera saunters over to the table where she thinks a director is eating. The MAN is sitting alone going over some paperwork and drinking coffee.

She does a little twirl and places the plate in front of him.

MANI didn’t order this.

VERAFor you. You a director, yes? I read it on your papers.

MANI didn’t order this, please take it away.

VERAI perform for you. ‘To be or not to be’...

Vera waves her arms dramatically.

MANLady, I am a director of sales. Now, could you please take this away.

VERASales. Ah, so you sell actors? Good. Good. You take. Enjoy.

Vera pushes the plate to him, in the process, knocks over a glass of water and his cup of coffee. The man jumps up knocking Vera back causing a domino affect where she trips another waiter who spills food onto another table. Chaos erupts.

MAN(yelling)

You crazy bitch.

Paul comes rushing over.

VERABitch? I am not female dog. Men are the dogs.

4.

He grabs Vera by the shoulders and shakes her.

MAN(yelling)

Lady, what is your problem. Look you ruined my paperwork and I look like I pissed myself.

VERAIt was mistake.

Paul grabs Vera by the arm and pulls her towards the kitchen. He gesturs for a WAITER steps in to help the man clean up.

WAITERSir, we’re so very sorry. We will make sure to take care of your dry cleaning bill.

The chaos calms down as Paul and Vera exit to the kitchen.

INT. UPPER WEST SIDE RESTAURANT KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

Paul and Vera come barreling through the kitchen doors nearly knocking over everyone who has been watching through the small glass windows on the doors.

PAULGet back to work.

Paul looks over at Carmen.

PAUL (CONT’D)You sure can pick’em.

He looks down at his feet composing himself. Vera stands staring at him.

VERAI’m sorry.

PAULOkay. His dry cleaning bill comes out of your paycheck.

He looks up and puts a hand up before Vera says anything.

PAUL (CONT’D)Three strikes and you’re out. You only have one more. Now, take off the apron and go be hostess.

5.

(MORE)

All you have to do is stand there and look pretty.

Vera hesitates. She looks over at Carmen.

Carmen shrugs and continues working on her pastries.

When everyone dissipates she glances around, takes a sip of her dessert wine and starts laughing.

RAMON, her ex-husband, sneaks up behind her. He stands with his body against hers and whispers in her ear.

RAMONWhat’s so funny?

Carmen stiffens.

CARMENGet out. You don’t work here anymore.

RAMONYes, but my wife does.

CARMENYour ex-wife. Salgate, Ahora!

Carmen whips around and pushes him away from her. Ramon wags a finger at her and pulls papers out of his back pocket.

RAMONI am still your husband. See, I haven’t signed the papers.

Carmen looks around for a weapon and to see if anyone is watching them. Not finding a weapon, she takes a step away from Ramon. Angry tears filling her eyes.

CARMENBastard.

RAMONI spoke with my lawyer, today. If I sign these papers. I can’t stay in America because I don’t have a job.

CARMENSo! That is not my problem. And you are not my responsibility! Just sign the damn papers. You have family back home!

6.

PAUL (CONT’D)

Paul walks into the kitchen from the main floor and spots Ramon.

PAULCarmen, are you alright?

Carmen is startled by Paul, but a look of relief washes over her face.

CARMENYes.

Ramon looks from Carmen to Paul and back. Ramon turns and approaches Paul so that they are standing within inches of each other.

RAMONYou know, she is still my wife.

PAULYou don’t work here anymore. Get out or I will have you arrested.

The two men stare at each other. The noisy kitchen comes to a complete stop as everyone waits to see what is going to happen next.

Carmen, finally able to gather herself, steps between the two men.

CARMENRamon, leave now. We’ll talk later.

Ramon glances down at Carmen.

RAMONWhen later?

CARMENLater.

Ramon accepts this and growls at Paul.

RAMONGringo, bastard. I’m watching you.

PAULAs I am you.

Ramon walks out grabbing a pastry as he goes.

Carmen picks up a pastry too. And throws it at him, hitting him in the back of the head with a creme puff.

7.

EXT. UPPER WIDE SIDE RESTAURANT - LATER

Vera has changed outfits. She is now wearing a tight red evening dress with a low cut v-neck to her breasts and high cut slits to her thighs on either side. It looks like something she would have worn when she was a model.

A young couple walk up to Vera. The YOUNG MAN smiles at Vera staring at her exposed cleavage.

YOUNG MANTwo please.

VERAEvening, I am Vera. Are you a director?

YOUNG MAN(laughs)

No, sorry I am not.

He is still looking at her cleavage.

VERAGo inside and the other hostess will help you then.

The Young man smiles and nods still staring. The woman with him scowls and hits him in the arm as she pushes him to walk into the restaurant.

YOUNG MANWhat?

WOMANYou know what!

INT. SUBWAY TRAIN CAR - FIVE O’CLOCK RUSH HOUR

Lubov is people watching. Standing in the corner of the car are a couple sucking face. Across from her is an Arabic man with a turban whom everyone keeps eyeing. The WOMAN next to her drops her shopping bag. Lubov picks it up and hands it back to her.

The woman doesn’t look well.

LUBOVAre you Okay?

8.

WOMANI’m sorry. I’m just tired.

Lubov jerks back from the stench of the woman’s breathe, which would burst into flames if someone lit-up a cigarette. Lubov shakes her head.

The subway train stops. New people get on. A married couple stands in front of her and the alcoholic woman.

LUBOVYou don’t want to stand there.

The alcoholic woman starts heaving. The married couple move.

Embarrassed, the woman, grabs for her shopping bag to puke in it, but it is a bit too late. She vomits all over herself and Lubov.

The subway car clears out at the next stop except for the alcoholic woman and Lubov. Lubov just sits there shaking her head.

LUBOV (V.O.)No one ever mentions the fine print. The long days of work without vacation. The dirt, the vomit, the shit, the stench, the attitudes, the multitudes, the cheats, the pimps, the racism, the reverse racism... It goes on, and on.

Lubov exits the subway car at 42nd St. - Time Square Station.

Everyone at the subway car door backs up when they smell the stench of vomit emanating from the car and move to enter another subway car.

They all give Lubov a disgusted side glance as she exits.

INT. CARMEN’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Carmen and Vera are watching Spanish soap opera’s. Lubov walks in.

VERAGuess what?

LUBOVYou got an audition?

9.

VERAHow do you know?

Lubov rolls her eyes and she continues through the small apartment to her room.

CARMENWhat is that smell?

VERAShe must had bad day.

They look at each other, shrug, then turn to the television.

INT. CARMEN’S APARTMENT - LATER

Lubov has changed and her hair is damp from a shower. Carmen and Vera are still glued to the television.

LUBOVAre you ladies going to go to English class?

CARMENWe need to find out if ‘Margarita de la noche’ is going to die.

VERAIt seems like her own Mother is trying to kill her.

Lubov shakes her head.

LUBOVSee you later.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

The neighborhood streets are crowded with people. Cars are honking, buses are passing, the subway is rumbling, etc.

Lubov speed walks down the street in a rush to get to class on time.

LUBOV (V.O.)Every night those two sit stuck to the television. Like... How do you say... Monsters? No... Oh, yes. Zombies.

10.

(MORE)

My ex-fiance watched a lot of television too. He was addicted to American shows.

CUT TO:

INT. BORIS’ SMALL APARTMENT IN RUSSIA

The crowded apartment is drab and dull. The television is blaring with sounds of ‘Jerry Springer’.

BORIS sits directly in front of the TV staring. His new wife, TANYA, is pacing back and forth with their screaming baby, Vanya, on her shoulder. She throws the baby’s bottle at him.

TANYA(in Russian)

Do something!

BORIS(in Russian)

Leave me alone!

Tanya throws up an arm and walks into the kitchen. The television and child still screaming.

Boris picks up the baby bottle, examines it, and starts drinking from the bottle still staring at the television.

CUT TO:

EXT. BUILDING - CONTINUOUS

Lubov reads a sign next to the building’s entrance then walks into the building.

INT. BUILDING CLASSROOM - CONTINUOUS

Lubov walks in as the teacher starts to introduce himself. She quickly takes an empty sit by the door.

The teacher, MR. KLOTZ, writes his name on the chalkboard first.

MR. KLOTZHello, my name is Samuel Klotz. I am a student at NYU where I am studying to get my Bachelor’s in English Literature. I was born and raised in Dayton, Ohio.

11.

LUBOV (V.O.) (cont'd)

(MORE)

I am teaching this class to gain experience.

An older Asian man, YONG, raises his hand.

MR. KLOTZYes?

YONGWhat means Ba-che-lors?

MR. KLOTZOh. I am not sure why they call it that. But, I meant ‘degree’. I will be earning a degree in English literature.

YONGThen you should know what means ba-che-lors.

MR. KLOTZWell, the literal meaning is ‘an unmarried man’. But, you’re absolutely right. And I will make sure I find out.

YONGGood.

MR. KLOTZAlright. Well, now it is your turn. Tell me your name, where you are from, and why you are here.

Mr. Klotz grabs a clipboard with a piece of lined paper on it and hands it to Lubov.

MR. KLOTZ (CONT’D)Also, write your name on this paper.

Lubov writes. Mr. Klotz glances around the room.

MR. KLOTZ (CONT’D)Who wants to start?

Yong stands up.

YONGMy name is Yong Quan Chang. I come from Korea. I take class to learn better English so I can get better job.

12.

MR. KLOTZ (cont'd)

MR. KLOTZThank you. How about you?

Mr. Klotz points to Lubov. She stands up.

LUBOVMy name is Lubov Roshkova. I am from Russia. I am vegetarian. So, I also come to learn English to get job.

MR. KLOTZGreat. (beat) So, you don’t eat meat. Neither do I.

LUBOVNo! I eat meat. I am ve...ve. (sighs) I am dog doctor.

MR. KLOTZOh. You’re a veterinarian.

LUBOVYes. Could you spell for me, so I don’t forget.

MR. KLOTZOf course.

Mr. Klotz writes both the word and its meaning on the chalkboard. He turns to the class.

MR. KLOTZ (CONT’D)(slowly and pointing to the word)

Veterinarian is a dog doctor. Okay, who’s next.

A middle-eastern looking man, FAHIM BAGCHI, with a turban on his head stands up.

FAHIMMy name is Fahim Bagchi. I am Hindu and am not terrorist. I come to study computers and will open business in India. So, must learn good English.

13.

MR. KLOTZSounds like you’re an entrepreneur. I will make sure that I set aside one night specifically for business terms. And I am sure that no one here thought you were a terrorist.

A frail, old Asian woman with liver spots stands. She points at herself.

ASIAN WOMANI did. I am Linda Juang. I want to speak with grandchildren.

LINDA JUANG sits back down. The room goes silent.

Mr. Klotz looks surprised and just stares at Linda Juang till he gains his wits about him enough to be able to speak again.

MR. KLOTZI’m sorry to hear that. But we need to be careful of such stereotypes.

Yong raises his hand.

MR. KLOTZ (CONT’D)Yes?

YONGWhat is entre..entrepreneur and stereotypes?

MR. KLOTZI’m sorry. Let me write it out for you.

Mr. Klotz turns to the chalkboard and writes:

‘entrepreneur = business person’

‘stereotypes = putting people into groups’.

He turns to face the class again.

MR. KLOTZ (CONT’D)Entrepreneur means a person who owns his own business. Stereotype is like saying that ‘all Asian people look alike’ or something like that. (sighs) Okay. Let’s move on.

14.

On Mr. Klotz’s forehead beads of sweat form. He wipes them away with his writing hand leaving chalk dust on his face.

INT. BUILDING CLASSROOM - CONTINUOUS

Vera and Carmen enter the classroom like chatty high school students.

VERACan you believe he was naked under black coat?!

CARMENAnd he had a little pe--

Carmen and Vera look at the teacher and then at the class. They see Lubov and sit in the chairs closest to her.

CARMENSorry we so late. We had to find out if Margarita’s mother actually tried to kill her. Then we were stopped on the way by...

Carmen stops and looks around finally realizing that she has stopped the class completely.

CARMEN (CONT’D)Anyway, we will try to be on time next time.

MR. KLOTZThat would be nice of you. (beat) Now, where were we?

INT. BUILDING CLASSROOM - CONTINUOUS

Everyone is leaving the classroom. Mr. Klotz is at his desk packing up his stuff into his briefcase. Some students giggle as they exit.

Lubov approaches Mr. Klotz before she leaves the classroom.

LUBOVIs this first class you teach?

MR. KLOTZYes.

LUBOVYou did good job. No worries.

15.

MR. KLOTZCan you tell I was nervous?

LUBOV(nods)

You have chalk all over your face from wiping away the sweat.

Mr. Klotz looks horrified.

Lubov takes a compact out of her purse and opens it so that Mr. Klotz can see his face.

He looks at Lubov, who is smiling back at him and he starts to laugh. He pulls out a handkerchief from his bag and wipes his face.

MR. KLOTZThank you.

LUBOVNo problem.

Lubov puts away her compact and starts to walk out. Mr. Klotz clears his throat.

MR. KLOTZUmm.

Lubov stops and turns.

MR. KLOTZMy dog hasn’t been eating well lately. Maybe you could take a look at him for me.

LUBOVOkay. I call you.

MR. KLOTZVegetarians are just so expensive nowadays.

Lubov just stares at him.

MR. KLOTZWell. (beat) Thank you, again.

He waves with the handkerchief in his hand realizes it and waves with the other hand. She smiles at him then walks out.

16.

EXT. BUILDING - CONTINUOUS

Vera and Carmen are standing outside waiting. They smile when Lubov walks out of the building.

VERAThe teacher likes you.

LUBOVNo, just wants me to check his dog for him.

VERAGood one. He will have you checking his dog alright.

CARMENHopefully, he’s not small like the man in black coat.

Carmen and Vera start laughing hysterically. Lubov walks away from them laughing and shaking her head.

Carmen and Vera follow.

EXT. STREET - LATER

Lubov, Vera, and Carmen are walking down a busy street. They stop at a corner to wait for the light to change.

A car full of young men are also waiting for the light to change. The DRIVER starts the harassment by whistling at them.

DRIVEROye, Heva! Why don’t come here and show me what’s under that pretty little dress.

They ignore him.

DRIVEROh, come on baby. You know you want some of this.

A passenger in the backseat sticks out his hairy butt. And all the guys in the car start laughing and cheering.

Vera points at the passenger’s butt.

17.

VERAThat’s a hairy ass.

Carmen turns to look. She takes a stop towards the car.

CARMENYou should get yourself checked. It looks like you have crabs.

All the young men in the car start hollering, ‘OOOHH’.

The driver hits the gas after the car behind him HONKS.

DRIVER(driving off)

She got you!

Lubov, Vera, and Carmen link arms and cross the street laughing.

They walk home passing billboards of products for Viagra for men, Viagra for women, Trojan condoms, pyramid schemes, etc.

LUBOV (V.O.)(sarcastically)

America, home of the brave...

INT. CARMEN’S APARTMENT - LATER

Lubov is sitting in her room. The room has twin beds. One half of the room is tidy and the other half is a mess.

Lubov sits on her bed writing in a journal, which is on the clean side of the room.

LUBOV (V.O.)Big lights. Big city... New York, where the garbage is smellier, the people are tougher, the air is thicker...

The telephones RINGS. Lubov stops writing to listen.

INT. CARMEN’S APARTMENT KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

CARMENI got it.

She jumps up from the sofa to answer the phone.

18.

CARMENOh, Paul. (beat) Yes, yes. I’m fine. (beat) No, I haven’t seen him.

VERAHe wants your body!

Carmen covers the receiver with her hand.

CARMEN(to Vera)

Shhh!

She turns so that her back is to Vera.

CARMEN (CONT’D)Yes, I can do that. No problem. (beat) Yes. I will think about it. (beat) Good night.

Carmen hangs up the phone. She sits back down with Vera to watch the rest of the television show.

VERASo?

CARMENHe want my body.

VERAI told you. Where does he want to take you.

CARMENNo where. Only to have dinner at the restaurant together.

VERACheap.

CARMENI told him I would think about.

VERAGood answer.

Vera points to the man on the television screen.

VERA (CONT’D)He killed his wife.

19.

CARMENBastard.

VERAAll of them.

Lubov comes running into the room.

LUBOVWell?!

VERAAbout time.

LUBOVShut up.

CARMENI told him I would think about.

LUBOVGood answer.

Lubov sits in the space available on the sofa. The three of them watch the television.

A horrible high pitched WHINING of someone badly playing a violin fills the air.

CARMENDo you hear that?

LUBOVSounds like a cat in heat.

VERAIt is terrible.

Carmen gets up walks over to the window. She pulls up the blinds and looks out.

On the street below, Ramon is trying to play a violin and sing.

She turns to her roommates.

CARMENIt’s Ramon.

VERAIs he dying?

20.

CARMENNo, he is trying to play a violin. Who knows where he got it from.

Carmen opens the window. Lubov and Vera stands behind her.

CARMEN (CONT’D)(down at Ramon)

What are you doing?

RAMONTrying to serenade you.

Across the street a NEIGHBOR opens his window.

NEIGHBORWhat are you doing? I am going to call the police if you don’t stop.

CARMEN(to the Neighbor)

Mind your business!

(to Ramon)See, what your doing! Stop it!

RAMON(still trying to play)

I am not signing the papers.

VERAThis gives romantic, new meaning.

Carmen turns to Vera and Lubov waving them back onto the sofa.

CARMENYou two are not helping.

LUBOVDo you want us to call the police.

CARMENNo. Go!

Lubov and Vera sit back down on the sofa. They lower the television, but pretend they are watching.

CARMENRamon! Stop it! You are making a fool of yourself.

21.

RAMONI saw the way that Paul guy looked at you.

CARMENSo.

RAMONCome down here.

CARMENNo.

RAMONI will keep playing.

CARMENI will call the police.

Ramon stops playing. He looks pitiful with his arms at his sides with the violin in one hand and the bow in the other.

RAMONCome down.

CARMENNo! I do not want to talk to you right now.

RAMONOkay, but I will be back.

Ramon starts to walk off, stops and turns.

RAMON (CONT’D)Carmen, I love--

Carmen slams the window shut.

RAMON (CONT’D)...you.

Carmen looks at her new roommates. She stares at them and blowing out a breath in exasperation she bursts into tears.

Lubov and Vera jump up from the sofa. They help Carmen sit down.

LUBOVI’ll get the Vodka.

22.

CARMENHe needs to go away. I can’t play games.

Lubov returns with three glasses. She passes them out then pours the vodka. She raises her glass and so does Vera and Carmen.

LUBOV(in Russian)

Salute.

CARMEN(sympathetic)

He was trying to serenade me.

VERASounded more like this guy I knew who would scream like a dying bird when he came.

LUBOVVera.

VERA(trying to be sympathetic)

Um, he didn’t sound like--

CARMENOkay, not about you. It’s about me.

VERASorry.

CARMENHe said he was jealous.

VERAOf Paul?

LUBOVWhy?

VERAPaul came to her rescue today. At least, that was the rumor.

CARMENRumor? Who said that?

23.

VERAThe sauté chief, Juan. He say Ramon came to bother you at work today and Paul threaten him.

LUBOVReally?

CARMENSomething like that. Ramon won’t sign the papers because he doesn’t want to be deported. See, I am the one sponsored. That’s why he can stay. If we are not married then he must go.

LUBOVBut, if he’s jealous. It sounds like it is more then just that.

VERAMen.

LUBOVMen.

CARMENMen.

Lubov pours more vodka and they all drink. They all start to cry. Lubov pours more vodka, they raise their glasses.

LUBOVTo us.

CARMENTo us.

VERATo us.

They drink and fall back on the sofa.

INT. LUBOV’S AND VERA’S ROOM - LATE NIGHT

Vera is passed out in her bed on her dirty side of the room SNORING.

24.

Lubov is curled up at the top of her bed with her journal. A small night light is on by the side of her bed. She crowds close to it so she can write.

CUT TO:

INT. LUBOV’S APARTMENT IN RUSSIA

Lubov is packing. OLGA, her best friend, sits on her bed watching her.

OLGA(in Russian)

Maybe you will marry a rich American man.

LUBOV(in Russian)

No men. I am running away. Remember.

OLGA(in Russian)

Right. But, what if you get lonely.

CUT TO:

INT. LUBOV’S AND VERA’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Lubov looks up from writing about her last night in Russia. She watches Vera sleeping then looks towards Carmen’s room. She smiles and starts to write.

LUBOV (V.O.)Big lights. Big city... New York, where the garbage is smellier, the people are tougher, the air is thicker... Yet, because of it all friendships are forged. Bonds are made.

CLOSE-UP OF VERA SLEEPING. CLOSE-UP OF CARMEN SLEEPING.

MONTAGE:

EXT. CENTRAL PARK

A group of friends are dancing to music from a portable music player.

25.

A group of girls are having lunch at the boathouse.

A group of guys are playing cards at the picnics tables.

END MONTAGE

INT. LUBOV’S AND VERA’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Lubov is smiling as she finishes her last line, puts down her pen, closes her journal, turns off the light and goes to sleep.

26.