FINDING MY OWN “VOICE". My passion is (supporting women) who think and feel

"they can't go the distance with too much Resistance", by

guiding you to see that the power is inside you.

I REALIZED WHY THIS WAS, I HAD SO MUCH FEAR

AROUND BEING MYSELF WITH OTHER PEOPLE, (THEY

HELD MY CARDS IN THEIR HAND), JUST LIKE WHEN I

WAS A KID IF I WANTED TO EAT GOOD, GET CLOTHES,

BE TREATED SOMEWHAT DECENT, I HAD TO TOW THE

LINE, OR, I WAS EXPECTED TO BE PERFECT, DO EXTRA,

NOT TALK OR SHARE AN OPINION, PRETEND THEY WERE

GOOD, BASICALLY ELIMINATE MYSELF IN THE

EQUATION. THAT’S HOW I GOT MY BASIC NEEDS MET.

WHAT HAPPENED TO ME IN THE NOT SO DISTANT

PASSED WAS THAT I STARTED TO CRAVE AUTHENTIC

LIVING, I WANTED TO WALK MY WALK AND TALK MY

TALK. I WANTED TO BE ABLE TO SAY WHAT I WAS SO

AFRAID TO. THAT I WAS VALUABLE AND I NEEDED TO

BE RESPECTED FOR WHO I AM, NOT WHO YOU NEED ME

TO BE, NOT WHO I USED TO BE, OR EVEN WHO I

PRETENDED TO BE FOR SO LONG SO YOU WOULD LOVE

ME, CARE FOR ME AND KEEP ME.

ALSO, I WOULD GET CAUGHT UP IN WHAT THE CIRCLE'S

HAD TO SAY ABOUT EVERYTHING AND EVERY-ONE,

MOSTLY BECAUSE I WAS HAPPY THEY WERE NOT

TALKING ABOUT ME! LITTLE BY LITTLE IT WAS

EFFECTING MY SELF-WORTH. AND MY INTEGRITY. THIS

LEAD ME TO READING SOME DYNAMIC BOOKS ON

GETTING HONEST, LETTING GO OF THE POWERFUL

EGO’S EFFECT ON MY HAPPINESS. I STARTED WAKING

UP AND LOOKING MORE CLOSELY AT MY THOUGHTS,

SEARCHING FOR THE TRUTH IS DIFFERENT FOR EACH

OF US AS IT SHOULD BE, SO I AM ONLY SPEAKING OF

MY JOURNEY. YOUR JOURNEY MAY BE VERY

DIFFERENT, I HONOR THIS.

WHILE READING ECKHART TOLL’S BOOK, “FINDING

YOUR PURPOSE”,

MANY THINGS STARTED CLICKING, THAT MY THOUGHTS

DID HAVE A THEME THAT I WAS NOT ENTIRELY AWARE.

I BECAME SO REACTIVE TO ALMOST EVERYTHING, MY

FEELINGS WERE UP AND DOWN LIKE A YO YO. IT WAS

MY EGO. THE VOICE IN MY HEAD THAT HAD AN OPINION

ABOUT EVERY OUTSIDE EVENT I ENCOUNTERED.

EVERY DAY I PAID A LITTLE MORE ATTENTION TO MY

THOUGHT PATTERNS I FOUND A VERY NEGATIVE

DIALOGUE GOING DOWN THAT SAID; “WHO DO YOU

THINK YOU ARE TELLING OTHER PEOPLE YOUR

FEELINGS” , “WHY DID YOU DO THAT” AND “NO-ONE

WILL LIKE YOU, YOU ARE GOING TO EMBARRASS

YOURSELF AGAIN”. ‘THAT WAS SO STUPID”, THIS

APPOSING VOICE IN MY HEAD WAS BEATING ME DOWN

AT EVERY TURN AND I HAD NEVER BEFORE SEEN IT IN

THIS WAY. IF YOU TELL YOURSELF LONG ENOUGH THAT

YOU ARE REALLY NOT IMPORTANT, NOT LOVED, NEVER

GOING TO CHANGE, THE CHANCES ARE VERY GOOD

THAT IT WILL BECOME REALITY.

WHERE DID THIS VOICE OR EGO COME FROM? MY BEST

GUESS IS THAT IT ORIGINATED BACK TO MY INNER

CHILD, (MY INSIDE VOICE), WHO HAS BEEN

CALCULATING MY SELF-WORTH OVER SOME 45 YEARS

BASED ON HOW I WAS RAISED. BASED ON MY BATTLES

IN RELATIONSHIPS, MONEY, AND SUCCESS. BASED ON

HOW I TOOK CARE OF MY-SELF WHEN IT WAS MY TURN

TO LEAD. THIS GOES FAR BACK TO THE LITTLE GIRL

THAT WAS LEFT UN-ATTENDED FOR GREAT LENGTHS OF

TIME, DROPPED OFF WITH MANY (OTHER PEOPLE) WHEN

I WAS VERY YOUNG, WHERE NOT EVERYONE LIKED

BEING DUMPED WITH A CHILD, EVEN ONE AS ADORABLE

AS MYSELF. THE LITTLE GIRL WHO WAS NEVER

ADDRESSED, SPOKEN TO, OR CONSIDERED WHEN IT

CAME TO MY WELL-BEING AND HAPPINESS. DO AS

YOUR TOLD AND DON’T MAKE WAVES, HAVE AN

OPINION, OR EXPRESS DISCOMFORT. ALWAYS BE

GRATEFUL AND GIVING, PLEASANT AND CHEERFUL,

LADY-LIKE WITH POLISHED MANNERS.

THERE WAS ONE IMPORTANT SIDE EFFECT I

EXPERIENCED WHILE UNEARTHING MY TRUTH, (IT WAS

THE ANGER AT MYSELF) AND ALL THOSE WHO

CONTRIBUTED TO MY LOW THOUGHT PROCESS OF SELF.

SOMEWHERE INSIDE WAS A SAD LITTLE GIRL WHO HAD

NEVER HAD HER DAY, OR BEEN LISTENED TO BY

ANYONE THAT MATTERED. WORST WAS THE IDEA THAT

I COULD ALLOW OTHER PEOPLE TO TAKE MY LIFE

VALUE AND HAPPINESS AWAY. MY ABILITY TO HAND

OVER MY SELF-POWER WAS SEVERELY INJURED AND

NEEDED ATTENTION TO AMEND OLD BELIEFS AND

LIMITED SELF-VIEWS.

I STARTED A LIST OF ALL THOSE WHO I HAD DEEP

SEEDED RESENTMENT, AND I USED TECHNIQUES LIKE

INVESTIGATING TO PIN POINT THOSE AREAS WHERE MY

LIFE HAD BEEN EFFECTED THE MOST. WAS IT MY SELF-

ESTEEM, SOCIAL GROUPS, SEXUAL INTERESTS,

FINANCIAL, SPIRITUAL, EMPLOYMENT, OR ROMANTIC?

YES, IT HAD EFFECTED ALL OF THEM, SOME MORE THAN

OTHERS. I NEEDED TO LOOK AT WHY I ACCEPTED SO

LITTLE IN RETURN FOR MY-SELF. (MOTIVES ARE THE

ENGINES OF ALL RELATIONSHIPS.) NOT JUST ROMANTIC

RELATIONSHIPS, BUT ALL OF THEM. THERE IS A PAY-

OFF FOR EVERY INTERACTION. THE PROBLEM COMES

DOWN TO WHY DOES ONE NEED OUT-WEIGH ANOTHER?

BY THIS I MEAN, WHY IS BEING ACCEPTED AND NEEDED

BY OTHERS SO IMPORTANT THAT I WILL TRADE MY

SELF- WORTH TO GET IT.

BY OVER-LOOKING MY BELIEFS, THOUGHTS, FEELINGS,

SELF-RESPECT, TRUTH, NEEDS, FOR WHAT I THINK IS

ACCEPTANCE AND LOVE. FOLLOWING ME? THE MAIN

IDEA IS TO ASK YOURSELF, WHAT IS IN IT FOR ME?

WHAT IS MY REAL MOTIVATION FOR DOING THIS? IF

YOU CAN PLUG THIS INTO YOUR DAILY THOUGHT

SYSTEM, YOU MAY FIND SOME INTERESTING

INFORMATION. AGAIN, THIS IS NOT WRONG, IT IS

HUMAN, AND HOW WE GET OUR DAY TO DAY NEEDS

MET. THE PROBLEM COMES IN WHEN WE ARE WILLING

TO GIVE TOO MUCH OF OUR-SELVES IN RETURN FOR

ACCEPTANCE AND LOVE. THIS SHOULD NOT HURT. NO-

ONE SHOULD HAVE TO FEEL THERE IS

NOTHING LEFT FOR SELF, OR THAT YOU DON’T HAVE

ENOUGH TO GET YOUR INNER NEEDS MET WITH

COMFORT AND EASE. WE ALL DESERVE TO BE LOVED

AND RESPECTED BY THE PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES!

THE REAL ISSUE AT MY CORE WAS “WHY DID I FEEL SO

UNDESERVING” AND “HOW WOULD I FILL THIS HOLE”

LIST OF RED FLAGS TELLING YOU THIS IS UNHEALTHY.

WHEN YOU ARE EXPRESSING YOURSELF AND THE

OTHER PERSON IS NOT PAYING ATTENTION, YOU FEEL

UNHEARD.

1.WHEN YOU BRING THIS TO THEIR ATTENTION THEY

SAY YOU ARE OVERLY SENSITIVE.

2.YOU ARE HAPPY AND WANT TO SHARE ABOUT

YOUR GREATNESS, OTHER PERSON WANTS TO

TALK ABOUT THEM-SELVES ONLY.

3.YOU NEVER KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU WILL BE

ACCEPTED FROM ONE DAY TO THE NEXT.

4.YOU HAVE AN ISSUE THAT YOU WANT TO CLEAR UP

WITH OTHER PERSON AND THEY TELL YOU QUICKLY

TO LET IT GO, IT’S NOT IMPORTANT.

5.YOU INITIATE SEXUAL INTIMACY AND YOU ARE

GIVEN A COLD SHOULDER.

6.YOU TRY TO CHANGE OLD PATTERNS IN THE

RELATIONSHIP AND YOU ARE MET WITH, IT’S YOUR

PROBLEM NOT MINE.

7.YOU EXPLAIN THAT YOU ARE HURTING FROM THIS

RELATIONSHIP AND OTHER PERSON TELLS YOU IT’S

NOT THAT BAD OR REMINDS YOU OF FINANCIAL

SUPPORT.

8.YOU FIND YOURSELF CRYING AND TRYING HARD TO

HIDE IT FROM OTHERS, AS IT IS TOO

EMBARRASSING.

10.DEEP INSIDE YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE OUT OF

THIS RELATIONSHIP, BUT YOU ARE TOO AFRAID OF

BEING ALONE, MAKING A DRASTIC CHANGE,

WONDERING HOW THE OTHER PERSON WILL RE-

ACT, FEAR OF EVER FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN, FEEL

UN-WORTHY OF HAVING BETTER.

BEING WITH SOMEONE WHO IS EMOTIONALLY

UNAVAILABLE HAPPENS WITH ALL RELATIONSHIPS.

WHEN YOU OR YOUR FEELINGS ARE DISCOUNTED, YOU

ARE EXPERIENCING A FORM OF ABUSE.

MY INTENTION IS NOT TO CAUSE MORE UN-HAPPINESS

BUT RATHER TO ASSIST YOU ON THE JOURNEY OF

FINDING YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF.

AFFIRMATIONS FOR HEALING

I AM GOOD ENOUGH TODAY.

EVERYDAY I GROW STRONGER AND MORE AUTHENTIC.

MY EXPERIENCES SHAPE ME, TEACH ME AND SHOW ME

WHERE I AM, AND HOW TO MOVE FORWARD.

I AM EAGER TO SPEAK MY TRUTH TODAY AND HOLD

BACK NOTHING.

MY HIGHER SPIRIT IS ALWAYS NEAR ME AND GUIDING

ME TO MY HIGHEST LOVING ENERGY.

I AM NOT PERFECT AND I AM OKAY WITH THAT.

I AM A GOOD PERSON AND I ACCEPT THIS TO BE MY

TRUTH.

Cookie Dean Cookie-Wisdom.com

moonmaidendean@mail.com

IF YOU ARE READY TO MAKE CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE,

CREATE A MAP FOR FREEDOM, INDEPENDENCE AND

AUTHENTICITY, I WOULD BE HONORED TO ASSIST YOU

THROUGH THE MAZE OF SELF-DOUBT, FEAR, AND OLD-

THINKING TO FIND THAT KICK ASS WOMEN YOU ARE

HIDING WHO HAS EVERYTHING SHE NEEDS TO LIVE THE

LIFE YOU HAVE ALWAYS DREAMED OF.