116 February 7, 2010 THE SUNDAY TELEGRAPH www.sundaytelegraph.com.au

DATING IN 2010 A SPECIAL ADVERTISING REPORT

D AZ. That’s the nicknameDarien Feary and Darren Coxhave always shared.

That’s about all they had in commonbefore they met. They lived nearly 90kilometres apart: he, on the northernbeaches, she, in semi-rural Camden.

She was a career-driven equine (horse)vet, while he was a laid-back webdesigner.

Their paths never crossed until mid-2008 when they both joined introductionservice, Vital Partners after years oflucking out in love.

Now, the pair share a newborndaughter, wedding plans, and a happyhome on the northern beaches.

According to Ms Feary, 34, it’s theirdifferences which make the relationshipwork. ‘‘Darren’s interests andpersonality are quite different to mine,but we compliment each other,’’ she says.

‘‘I’m highly motivated and goaldriven, but he’s much more relaxedand fun. He doesn’t get worried aboutthings easily. It was such a relief forme to be around somebody who made methink less.’’

Ms Feary, who was initially dubiousabout dating services, says she still can’tbelieve her luck.

‘‘I had a few friends who found theirhusbands on internet dating sites, but Ithought I would never do it myself,’’ shesays. ‘‘It’s really quite amazing howmuch my life has changed over the lastyear-and-a-half.’’

The Vital Partners introductionmethod, which puts all members througha screening and interview process,provides a selection of potential matchesand only exchanges profiles withpermission, made Ms Feary morecomfortable with the idea.

She signed up after she returned froma seven-year stint working in the US, andended a ‘‘pretty awful’’ relationship. ‘‘I

made a big decision to come home toAustralia,’’ she says. ‘‘My career wasdoing well, but I was not fulfilled in mylife and lifestyle. I was suddenly 32, Iwanted a family, and I realised I wouldhave to do something about it very soonto give myself that opportunity.’’

Although her intentions were there,Ms Feary soon realised that finding apartner, when her life revolved aroundwork, wasn’t going to be easy.

‘‘I was getting quite lonely,’’ she says.‘‘I joined a running club, I got a dog tofill the empty space, and I was trying todo things to get out there a bit, but it’sdifficult to meet people when you’re

living and working in an environmentwhere there are very few single men.’’

Meanwhile, Mr Cox, 32, was facedwith a similar challenge after his long-term relationship ended. All his friendshad started settling down and he grewtired of weekends that amounted tolittle more than playing sport.

‘‘The usual places you meet people, atparties, or at the pub wasn’t happeningbecause just trying to find people to goout with was hard,’’ he says.

‘‘It pushed me towards plan B. I was abit sceptical about (introductionagencies) but I walked away with all myfingers and toes crossed hoping

someone would match with me.’’Mr Cox was still unsure when his

dating consultant recommendedMs Feary, and it took him a week todecide to call her.

Several long phone conversationsfollowed, and by the time the pair hadtheir first meeting at Bungalow 8 in thecity, they already felt comfortable witheach other.

‘‘It turned out to be an amazingjourney,’’ Mr Cox says. ‘‘Who wouldhave thought back then that I’d end upgetting married and having a baby. Theway everything has panned out has beena blessing.’’

‘‘I was a bitsceptical about(introductionagencies) but Iwalked away withall my fingers andtoes crossed hopingsomeone wouldmatch with me ’’

S After years of luckingout in love, Darienand Darren metthrough anintroduction agency.They seemed acomplete mismatch.It turned out to bequite the opposite,writes Laura Cencigh-Albulario

Dazzlingduo makea perfectmatch

Melina finds asingles’ solutionT WO symptoms of busy modern life;

more singles without the time to finda partner, and less people willing to

give up their time to do volunteer work.Entrepreneur Melina Schamroth, 38,

(pictured) has found a solution to both with herSingle Volunteers program.

Run through her company, m.a.d.woman,which specialises in campaigns that make apositive difference, the program will launch inSydney on Valentine’s Day. It brings singlepeople together to work on charity projectsand at the end of the day, participants thatshare a mutual attraction receive each other’sphone numbers.

The concept has already taken off inMelbourne, where hundreds of singles havefound love in soup kitchens, animal sheltersand hospitals. ‘‘There was one guy who hadn’tbeen on a date for seven years, and he walkedaway with potential dates with seven people,’’Ms Schamroth says.

Her largest event so far saw 200 singles turnthe exclusive Medallion Club in EtihadStadium into a soup kitchen and produce over7000 meals for homeless people.

At the end of the event, 106 of thoseparticipants shared a mutual attraction (onecouple was already canoodling on the way

home). Ms Schamroth herself is one of thesuccess stories. She met her partner of 15months, Dave, ‘‘cracking eggs and crackingjokes’’ in a soup kitchen.

‘‘My name wasn’t on the tick sheet, but headded it and pursued me,’’ she says. ‘‘I thoughtit would not be very professional, since it waswork for me, but there was some irony in thefact that I was running singles events but wasstill single myself.’’

After all, it was Ms Schamroth’s owndisastrous experiences in the dating game thatinspired her to start the program.

When she found herself suddenly single inher mid-30s, she tried internet dating, butbecame frustrated by people’s inaccuratedescriptions of themselves: ‘‘There was oneguy who said he was athletic, but when I methim I realised he was only athletic from thehead up. There were people that worked onpaper, but there was no chemistry in person,’’Ms Schamroth adds.

The real turning point came after she hadwhat she describes as one of the worstexperiences of her life: a singles’ event.

‘‘It just reeked of desperation,’’ MsSchamroth says. ‘‘When I walked out, Ithought, I don’t care if I’m single forever, Ican’t go through that ever again.’’ A friend

suggested that, if she did something she loved,she would eventually find somebody.

‘‘I love charity work, but most charitiesneeded a longer term commitment than I wasable to give,’’ Ms Schamroth says. ‘‘I came upwith (Single Volunteers) for people like me,who are time-poor, who want to make adifference and want to meet people.

‘‘The most amazing thing about it is thatpeople forget they’re single. They walk awayhaving done something really productive. Evenif they didn’t have a match, nobody leavesfeeling like a loser.’’

As well as playing cupid, Ms Schamroth’swider goal is to bring back a culture ofcommunity service. ‘‘It’s not necessarily partof the Gen X and Gen Y culture that we have atthe moment for people to engage with theircommunity,’’ she says. ‘‘For a lot of(participants) it’s the first time they’vecontributed to the community beyondfinancially. They may go on to have long-terminvolvement in these charities.’’

The Valentine’s Day Single Volunteersevent, Puppy Love, will be held at Sydney Catsand Dogs Home in Carlton, and will help thelarge number of pets which have been dumpedsince Christmas. There will be groups for 25-to45-year-olds, over-45s and people seekingsame-sex relationships. Bookings are essential.● Details: www.madwoman.com.au

‘‘T The most amazing thing about itis that people forget they’re single. Theywalk away having done something reallyproductive. Even if they didn’t have amatch, nobody leaves feeling like aloser ’’