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Zach GrethDr. Warner & Professor HicksDrs. Bennett (thesis advisor) & Blanchard (reader)HONR 3791-H01March 26, 2015

Living a “Neuroplastic” Life

Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.-James Baldwin

Four years ago, I was reluctant to accept James Baldwin’s wise words. After high school

graduation, my life centered on a lot of doubt and uncertainty for the future. While it is certainly

true that “nothing can be changed until it is faced,” I did not know if I could handle these

changes and challenges that college was sure to produce. As it was, my time to change was

starting.

One blink later and I am in one of my final semesters in college. I find myself asking

how it is I have already reached this point.  “It seems like just yesterday” as they say.  When I

first started at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte (UNC Charlotte), I did in fact spend

a lot of my time worrying about what the experience would be like.  I had typical doubts about

whether I made the right decision. I really wondered whether Charlotte, North Carolina was the

best fit for me.  Perhaps that is to be expected from a young adult moving some five hundred

miles from home (Pennsylvania). But even if it were to be just five miles down the road, it still

bears the same concerns. After all, this was to be the place for which the answers to my future

resided.  

Nearly on the other side now, I can return to these concerns with a confident “yes.”  I am

reassured that while I had some doubts, I am rewarded by my recollections of college. I credit

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this to the wonderful experiences, people, services, resources, and opportunities UNC Charlotte

has offered me. It has been the most valuable experience of my life so far.

Ironically, I feel as though I am returning to a similar situation I was in four years ago. I

would like to say graduate school is, for sure, the next thing on my list. But not all things in life

are (100%) guaranteed. Again, the future remains uncertain. But four years later, I truly

appreciate the meaning in the words James Baldwin once voiced. All I can do is face these

challenges headfirst, and create change that is in my favor. This is an attitude UNC Charlotte

helped me to discover.

The journey to reach this attitude – and making it relevant to my own life – is part of the

reason why I am writing this paper. Knowing the person I once was has made seeing the person

I have grown into all the more fulfilling.  This transformation focuses on the theme that drives

the remainder of this paper -- neuroplasticity. 

Neuroplasticity 

            Neuroplasticity is a mechanism that allows the brain to create new neural pathways and

delete old ones.  These neural pathways, which consist of billions of neurons (cells), are

responsible for relaying a message in order to produce a response.  The response can be triggered

by learning/experience, growth, damage, or dysfunction.  Neuroplasticity works to produce

appropriate responses in two main ways.   Neuroplasticity can: (1) delete damaged connections

that become disruptive to behavior; and/or (2) create new connections. The new connections

either compensate for the damaged ones, or surface as more optimal behaviors are learned

(Sincero, 2011). It highlights impairments (maladaptive), and works to yield a functional gain

from them (Cramer et al., 2011). These damaged connections are reorganized to produce more

favorable outcomes.  And so neuroplasticity is an extremely adaptive process.  Ultimately, the

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brain’s capacity to do such a task promotes improved functioning as time goes on (Sincero,

2011).

My question is: can this same principle also be applied - in much simpler terms - to

overall growth and maturation during one’s life?  We are all constantly up against an influx of

people, situations, interactions, experiences, and lessons.  These things often work to influence

our thoughts and behaviors.  It seems reasonable to explore whether neuroplasticity, as a

principle, affects and changes us throughout our lives.

I see this concept of neuroplasticity as evident in my very own collegiate career. I am

faced with a host of new challenges every day.  With each one, I must evaluate my own thoughts

and actions; and then ultimately decide whether change is necessary in order to improve my

performance.  This cognitive exercise is of great value to me.  After all, it may take just one

small, incorrect “connection” to threaten the entire system.

Yet, the roots of this interest are still rather unclear to me.  Discovering the origins of this

interest is the central question I would like to focus on for the ensuing project.  I want to answer

why I have become so attuned to this process of “neuroplasticity” while at UNC Charlotte.  How

has it become a defining piece in my life? 

I mentioned how neuroplasticity can occur following learning/experience, growth,

damage, or dysfunction.  I certainly have faced a fair amount of these factors while attending

UNC Charlotte. However, there are certain instances that have proven to be extremely crucial to

my maturation and development. Such instances will be referred to as artifacts. Throughout this

paper, I will classify certain college events (artifacts) into one of these four dimensions; thus

allowing me to create an overall framework for my collegiate career.  By organizing my artifacts

in this way, I may come to find how each dimension has impacted my life – either good or bad. 

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This can prove to be very useful information.  Perhaps then I can reconfigure each

dimension, and integrate them towards a more advantageous life.  This push for reorganization is

another outcome I hope to achieve.  What can I learn from my past to benefit the direction of my

future? How can I face new challenges to produce desired changes? Or at least provide the best

opportunity of seeing the changes I want to see. Subsequent paragraphs detail artifacts I have

decided to revisit in an attempt to facilitate this discovery process.

A motivation for clinical neuropsychology

I think it is possible for people to reexamine their home in a new light after leaving it for

an extended period of time.  Sometimes it takes stepping away from your roots to appreciate

where you came from.  For many college freshmen, the first summer back can be an especially

exciting time.  The initial and overwhelmingly stressful first year is finally over.  Late night

studying and early morning exams are temporarily ceased. All such demands are replaced by the

comfort of one’s home. A time to catch up with old friends, visit places you have missed, and

make time to stop and breathe.  

I certainly remember going back home for my first summer of college break.  I was so

excited to share the contents of a wonderful first year with my family and friends.  It seemed it

would be a time for me to reintroduce myself to all the things that proved so generous to me for

eighteen years of my life.  Yet, my summer was not so easy (Greth, personal communications,

2014).

During my first semester, I was enrolled in an introductory psychology course.  I think it

is worth mentioning that it was also the only course of interest to me that semester.  In this

course, I learned that nearly 50% of people are diagnosed with at least one mental disorder at

some point in their lives.  Unlike most statistical figures, this one resonated with me for its sheer

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prevalence. Yet, I had no idea this very figure would revisit my life again that upcoming

summer. 

Upon my return home from college, I watched as this very statistic haunted the life of my

lifelong role model – my older brother Justin.  My brother had been diagnosed with

schizoaffective disorder. This disorder is a blend of psychotic (hallucinations, delusions,

emotional flatness, avolition) and mood disorder (depression, anxiety) symptoms (American

Psychiatric Association, 2013). He was once a passionate, conscientious, driven, positive, and

humble individual.  He has since become a completely different person.  Not only did this

summer affect my family’s structure, but it influenced the rest of my life as well. 

This moment was an adjustment period for me, to say the least.  I felt extremely

vulnerable at the time. I spent nearly two decades of my life idolizing my brother’s every

thought and action.  It did not matter what it was.  It was as if I became conditioned to like it

immediately, simply because my brother did. Justin was not just an older brother to me.  No, he

was much more than that.  My brother was my childhood hero.  That is almost unheard of in

siblings, as most experience sibling rivalry more than anything.  But not us.  We were always

very close, and he was the center of my life.

Now all of a sudden, that connection was lost.  It was as if Justin’s mental disorder

robbed him of everything.  His invincibility was stripped away, and my envy gone.  Here I

thought I had just faced the hardest challenges [freshman year] of my life, but my perception

changed.  For I saw the life Justin was now haunted with. My childhood idealization was

threatened. I always feel so bad for the struggles he has to wake up to every single day of his

life.  I think, “How is it fair for someone - with so much of his life still ahead of him – to have to

deal with such horror like this?”  It seems so unreasonable to me.

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When Justin was in high school, his work ethic was second to no one. He was a member

of our high school’s football team, and I saw firsthand the time he dedicated to the sport every

day. I remember him waking up before school to go down into our basement to run on the

treadmill. As a child, the fact that Justin did this just astounded me. I thought he was nuts for

waking up so early to run! However, I had a great deal of respect for the passion he

demonstrated. In fact, I often think he is the one who inspired me to give everything I can

towards running - something soon to surface in my life – despite initially thinking just how

absurd it was when he did it. His character led me to find running as my greatest passion in life.

How do you thank someone for that?

Now every interaction Justin shares with someone leaves them confused and doubtful.

Schizoaffective disorder has taken away the attitude he demonstrated on and off the field.

Today, Justin struggles to find a comfortable living situation. His lack of goal-oriented behavior

(avolition) prevents him from holding some jobs for more than a few weeks. Some even lasting

for just a few hours. This leads to living in an environment he desperately wants to leave. Justin

cannot seem to express the same positivity he once did. He does not seem to understand or care,

for instance, about the meaning behind James Baldwin’s words. Justin is depressed about where

life as led him. Instead of facing things, he feels defeated by them. Still only twenty-eight, but

yet he thinks he has ultimately “failed” in life. His physical health has since deteriorated too. He

eats poorly, no longer exercises, sleeps very little, and smokes cigarettes. For me, I was plagued

with figuring out how to deal with all this. How do you help this person? I grew up thinking

heroes did not need saving.   

Justin’s battle left a profound impact on my life; something I was grappling with too.

The news was a very damaging event for my family.  A problem I desperately sought to fix. 

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Still so young, I felt limited in the ways I could help Justin overcome this dark, unknown time.  I

soon found mental disorders – and their subsequent effects on the brain - to be extremely

fascinating.  The 50% figure I learned of months before really did not take shape until it entered

into my own life.  After many internet searches, I began to realize just how prevalent an issue

like this truly was.  Of just how many individuals and their families were inflicted with similar

horrors every day.

Google really does seem to have all the answers; yet, never would I have guessed that it

could answer the question of my future.  Many internet searches told me how the brain is

localized and intricately complex.  This means that different areas of our brains correspond to

different functions.  I was amazed by the vast architecture existing between our ears.  But I had

no idea clinical neuropsychology was a career that integrated these interests.  I saw this as my

very own “calling” if you will.  I saw this as a way to pay tribute to my brother’s life, and the

many others like his.  To challenge myself; and not listen to the limitations others put on me.

Something my brother’s life was so prematurely stripped of. So is the basis for my first artifact

-- I want to pursue a field in clinical neuropsychology.

In an attempt to fix the damage inflicted on my family, I returned to school with a new

attitude. One far removed from the novice approach I possessed for an entire year before. 

Previously, I had been grappling with the age old question of trying to figure out my life’s

destination. As an undeclared student, maybe you start to question your purpose as one.  At least

that is the line of thinking I eventually came under. How was I to set my life up when I did not

even know what that [at least] could look like?  What was I doing? Things as a sophomore

seemed much more promising.

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For neuroplasticity to occur, new neural paths must be organized to compensate for the

ones that have been damaged (inactive). However, in order for this process to be successful, the

new connections must be continually activated (Liou, 2010). Bear in mind, this is not an

overnight-sort of fix. It takes repeated practice in order for new connections to strengthen;

thereby sustaining a new level of optimal functioning.

Cramer et al. (2011) argue that some of the common themes influencing successful

neuroplasticity are experience dependence, time sensitivity, and the level of motivation and

attention invested. A lot of what enables brain plasticity is the environment in which

reorganization/training/learning takes place (experience dependence). So too, this recovery-like

process must be introduced within a certain time following the damage (time sensitivity). And as

with anything in life, the person has to want to be able to improve their ability to function

(motivation & attention). If these criteria are not met, then the overall process is limited in what

it can do (Cramer et al., 2011).

Like neuroplasticity, I took a damaging incident and found undying commitment. I

organized the trajectory of my life to connect with clinical neuropsychology. I stepped into an

environment (experience dependence) that would lead me to this outcome. I realized this

wouldn’t happen overnight, but I was committed to the process. Similar to how neurons need to

be continually activated, my actions towards this goal have been relentless since my brother’s

diagnosis. All of my academic decisions reflect this goal; and the enduring personal motivation

driving it.

Abnormal Psychology

Abnormal Psychology (Spring 2014) has been the most enjoyable class in my

undergraduate career.  Thus, it sits as the second artifact on my list. I thought my internet

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searches a few summers ago had told me everything. It proved to be a mere glimpse into the

world of mental health as it exists today. From day one, this class reaffirmed my career goal. 

During every lecture thereafter, I was so deeply enthralled by what Dr. McAnulty was telling us. 

I often sat there thinking in-between notes, “You know what, this is something I really want to

be a part of.” My interest was getting stronger.

This is analogous to how neuroplasticity operates. Consider what happens when a new

behavior is learned. Individual neurons carry a signal (message), which it communicates to

other, nearby neurons. Each neuron is equipped with its own specialized task. Let’s assume the

new behavior is learning how to kick a soccer ball. Some neurons are in charge of visual

functioning (directing eyes on the soccer ball vs. net vs. other players); others deal with attention

(fixating your eyes on the ball); while others yet are responsible for motor control (moving your

leg forward/backward in order to kick it). It works by way of an assembly-line. Individual

neurons have their own specialized task(s); yet they communicate with each other to produce the

desired outcome (getting soccer ball into the net). They are interconnected. As long as the

neurons continue to communicate with one another, then they are being activated and excited.

Their role is being strengthened. A new pathway connecting them is also forming (Cramer et al.,

2011). This was unfolding each time I stepped into Abnormal Psychology as well. My interest

was constantly being sparked, and the strength of it was only getting stronger.

Not only did I gain a lot of insight towards my intended career path, but about my

personal life as well. One of the most valuable pieces of information I gathered from the course

was the following: do not be a part of the stigma, fight it.  Often times, the stigma is just “one”

story, not “the” story.  Why put limitations on people? As it turns out, many stories have more

than just one perspective. In being mindful of this exercise, I learned to integrate it into my life.

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I try to be more aware of stigma now, and mindful in my communication with Justin.  As

part of his condition, he still exhibits many negative symptoms.  One of his most frequent

symptoms is avolition, which is the absence of goal-directed behavior (American Psychiatric

Association, 2013).  I learned about these depressing symptoms in class, and realized it is a

product of the disorder and not so much him individually.  Often, Justin sees everything in such a

negative light. This is far from the attitudes he once possessed as a high school student-athlete. I

am aware of this fact, and try to pay close attention to it. Rather than deny the pessimism, I try

instead to work with it. I attempt to put a positive spin on every conversation with him, and am

persistent about it. 

  Mental health is a hot topic in society today, and we need people to help search for

pressing answers.  In some ways, this can be a very disheartening stage for the state of clinical

psychology.  But yet in many others, it is also a very encouraging time as well. If I am able to be

a part of such a rising field, then what an extremely rewarding experience it may one day be.

This class was another very important moment in my life. Now I realize the further

importance it serves in contributing to the nature of my paper’s theme. Before, I was guilty of

falling in line with the stereotypes – of certain populations, like mental disorder patients –

predetermined by our society’s social constructions. One could suggest I was quite

dysfunctional in how I stigmatized others.  But we really should not over generalize one single

story across all subjects. I have learned that just from observing Justin’s individual case. I know

the person he was before his diagnosis. And I know that everything people now perceive him to

be as largely false. Given his pressing symptoms, it may seem like an endless battle. I know he

certainly feels that way. But why should it have to be? He is twenty-eight, with much of his life

still left in front of him.

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Not only do I want to stop these disorders from happening, but I want the stigmas to

disappear too. Again, do not be a part of the stigma, fight it. I want to be by his side as Justin

faces daily challenges. I will push Justin to believe in himself once again, and make the changes

he wishes to. In a way, I feel this sense of teamwork mirrors neuroplasticity; and independent of

just my own individual desires as well. Justin’s motivation and attention to accomplish certain

tasks as weakened since his diagnosis. Without regularly practicing these actions, they no longer

become a part of his routine. I realize this behavior, and like a separate neural pathway, I am

trying to promote more activity from him. This realization has further supported and pushed me

towards clinical neuropsychology.

2012 A10 Cross Country Championship

The 2012 A10 Cross Country Championships (8k) is my third artifact. This is a day I

will never forget.  This race was “the” race of the season, the end-all-be-all. A time for me to

demonstrate the level of work and commitment I invested towards this very race.  For the next

twenty-five minutes, I could show others what I had been doing for months.  I was granted the

first two of these twenty-five minutes.  The rest will be left empty, something for me to think

about the rest of my life; the “what could have been.” For it was two minutes into the race that

my shoe was clipped from behind, and then soon flung off completely.  In a state of high panic, I

did not know what to do.  So I just continued running, hoping things would miraculously work

themselves out. 

Unfortunately for me, life had a different plan.  The course soon entered into a gravel

section, and despite my best intentions, my race was ultimately cut short.  Done.  I was robbed of

the chance to prove to everyone the level of work and dedication I gave day in and day out for

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the past six months.  I lost the chance to prove to myself that it could lead to good outcomes.  Or

at least that is what I initially thought.

  I quickly learned that this day held one of life’s most valuable learning lessons.  People

are constantly reminded that things in life do not always goes as planned.  “Nothing is

guaranteed.” Although it seemed like the world was out to get me, it was not.  Sure, I lost my

shoe that day, and yes, it felt like an extreme loss to my career, but the day was not a complete

bust.

Again, a lot of people say, “Life does not always go the way you planned.”  It is certainly

the way I felt about this race.  This was one of the more difficult things I have had to overcome.

Not being able to finish something you have started is one of the worst feelings in the world. It

is true; life does not always go as you originally planned.  I did not bust my butt from early

summer to late fall only to drop out. However, I would argue it takes experiencing this very

message in your own life to appreciate what it truly means. You have to persevere through both

the good and the bad.  When pressed up against a wall, keep fighting back. 

This really is no different from the attitude that got me to the start line that day.  Under

less than ideal circumstances, I pushed through the weeks of training. Of the hundreds of

runners that day, I asked why me? How many of them really worked as hard as I did? How

many of them balanced getting up at 5 a.m. every day, working for eight hours, and the spending

three hours after that dedicated strictly to training? And how many of them were in bed by 9

p.m. every night? Again, let me remind you this was the summer. I would be going to bed as

kids half my age were down the street still playing outside. I kept coming back to these

sacrifices. But I quickly realized this was not getting me anywhere. For the real loss only comes

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in the competitor feeling sorry for themselves. I could have spent the next two weeks feeling

sorry for myself.  And I admit, I did for the next couple of days.  

However, I realized by the end of that same week that my attitude was taking me

nowhere good. There is nothing one can do to change their past, but they certainly can change

the shape of their future.  And that is the lesson I finally learned that day.  I was not happy about

the end result, which is true.  However, could I give myself another shot at success in the next

race?  Sure thing, and that is what I reminded myself of.  I had one more race to end my

sophomore season. I was not going to let this one setback dictate the rest of it. The 2012

Atlantic 10 Cross Country Championships was a learning experience for me. I took what I

learned from this race, and structured it to produce better outcomes in the future.

Sometimes in life you are lucky to be granted a second chance.  And in the sport of

running, you are given multiple second chances. I got mine two weeks later. I returned to the

starting line; this time for the 2012 NCAA Southeast Regional Championships (10k). For two

weeks, I focused on getting my mind right. I could not reface the A10 Championships. I could

only deal with what was in front of me. I embraced this fact, and strived to move forward.

At the 2012 NCAA Regional Championships, I made the changes I expected. I raced to a

personal record, and placed higher than the year before. The result was very rewarding;

especially knowing what I went through to get to this point. In two weeks, I restructured a

damaging event into a positive learning experience. Two years later, and I can now comfortably

say that the A10 conference championships was one of my most important races yet, even if it

was not quite the race I envisioned. Since then, I have faced similar race outcomes. However,

the A10 Championship experience left me better prepared to face these outcomes.

Citizenship

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Honors Citizenship (Spring 2014) is my next artifact. This course changed my identity.

As I was creating my class schedule for the upcoming semester, I realized this course was

required before graduation. Only after some initial reluctance did I finally add it to my list. This

motion mirrored my overall attitude towards community service -- half-heartedness.

My expectation for this course included forty hours dedicated to community service in a

single semester. It seemed like an unbearable task at the time. In high school, I completed forty-

hours of community service over four years. However, I cannot say I decided to volunteer in

high school by my own discretion. Rather, it was a high school graduation requirement. As

such, my participation in service activities never really meant anything to me. They were seen

more as an assignment rather than a unique opportunity to help others. Therefore, I was not

overly concerned with who I was helping, and how. This attitude persisted through registration

and into the first few moments of Honors Citizenship.

One of my first assignments was to read Bruce Herzberg’s Community Service & Critical

Teaching. He stated that acts of community service should explain the purpose for people’s

involvement in them. Simply put, why are they doing it in the first place (Herzberg, 1994)?

This seems simple enough, but it really speaks to the passive members in the audience; much

like my former self. I never gained valuable insight from service projects because I never tried

to. It took a semester’s worth of work to process this idea.

I decided to work at the Hospitality House of Charlotte (HHoC). It sits right across the

street from one of Carolina HealthCare System’s locations. The HHoC serves a similar purpose

to that of a hotel. It provides shelter for out-of-town patients and family members who need

extended hospital treatment. It has serviced families from all fifty states and twenty foreign

countries!

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My role at the HHoC was titled “housekeeper.” I completed the same tasks of a typical

hotel housekeeper. Some common assignments included the following: cleaning dishes, putting

dishes away, making coffee, cleaning kitchen/dining room area, doing laundry, sanitizing

doorknobs, sweeping the front porch and walkways, taking out the trash, cleaning windows,

making phone calls to people on the waiting list, and assembling mail letters. These tasks were

completed in four hour shifts, and I did most of my hours on Saturday and Sunday mornings.

The tasks seemed simple enough to me. But it meant the world to the HHoC’s visitors.

The interactions I had with them was the single greatest task I fulfilled. People were so receptive

and grateful for the HHoC. One morning, I made a call to a young man who was on the waiting

list. His sister was very ill. Having a place to stay, and being by her side, were very pressing

concerns for him. Needless to say, he was relieved to hear a room was now available to him. I

think it took everything for him not to break down in tears right then in there. New to my role at

the HHoC, this event reflected the message Bruce Herzberg attempted to make. All in one phone

call. This young man’s emotions demonstrated just how valuable the HHoC’s services could be.

I was just thankful to play a part in it.

The most remarkable volunteering experience came in the very last shift I needed to

complete for the forty hours. It was a Saturday morning. I had worked there the night before as

well. The night before, I noticed a new, older couple there that I had not seen the last time I

volunteered a week or two before. I may have said hello in passing on Friday, but I really only

noticed them from afar. Most of the time, the man was reading a book. That Saturday morning,

I was sweeping up the front porch when I noticed the same man sitting out on one of the rocking

chairs. Just like before, he was reading his book. By this point, I felt I had come across his path

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too many times not to say anything to him. So totally spur of the moment, and completely

against my shy disposition, I asked him, “What are you reading?” I am glad I did.

I do not remember the name of the book he was reading. All I remember is what came

after. He was reading this book in order to instill faith into his current situation. He said he

originally planned on staying in Charlotte for just a few days. Enough time for him and his wife

to visit their daughter before they moved to Utah, to enjoy their recently retired lifestyle. His life

had other plans.

A few days turned into several weeks. The man had suffered from a stroke, and was

rushed to the hospital. There, it was later found that he had a brain tumor sitting in the posterior

of this brain. Fortunately, it was discovered early enough and he immediately had surgery to

have it removed.

Now here we both were sitting on the front porch just a few days later. Listening and

talking to this man, I never would have believed what he just told me. The actions he

demonstrated were against all odds. Reading a book. Walking laps around the house. Cooking

food. All activities of daily living. But for a man who had just battled through all that he did?

He became the perfect example for the quote I used for my reflective essay at the end of the

semester.

Experience is not what happens to you; it’s what you do with what happens to you.

-Aldous Huxley

This man decided he was not going to let the brain tumor dictate his life. Instead, he was

going to decide what the outcome would be. He was outside walking laps just a few days later.

He was not going to let this medical case put limitations on his life. It was absolutely incredible.

By the end, I completed my forty hours. I would have thought completing the time

requirement would have been my only satisfaction out of the course. The interactions I shared

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with visitors took its place. Before, I just let community service experiences happen to me. I

never truly attempted to gain anything from them. This class, and more importantly the man

above, helped address this dysfunctional characteristic of mine. I used to have such a passive

community service identity. Now, I make the most of each experience. I started going into the

Hospitality House of Charlotte pushing for outcomes I wanted to see happen. I faced the

changes I wanted. In way, the man and I were helping each other achieve neuroplasticity.

One way to promote continued brain adaptation is to actively stimulate it. If you present

the brain with a new and challenging environment, it will eventually adapt and interact with the

new stimuli (Liou, 2010). My (community service) identity shift exemplifies this exact process.

I started out seeing service work as an assignment, but I challenged myself to find personal value

in it. As a result, I am a more active community service volunteer today. I decided at the end of

the semester that I did not want to stop at just forty hours. So, I completed forty more during the

summer months. These hours were done on my days off from work. I spent these next forty

hours embracing what it took the first forty to truly achieve. The experience is what you make of

it. So I started each shift with a smile, and interacted with those around me; far different than my

half-hearted attitude just months before.

Positive Psychology

I participated in Positive Psychology (fifth artifact) freshman year (Spring 2012) at UNC

Charlotte. I had recently finished introductory psychology, and knew that I was interested in the

field. Yet, this was a few months before my discovery of clinical neuropsychology. So my

direct focus of interest was not in place yet. I signed up for Positive Psychology thinking it could

help in other aspects of my life. This was especially true for running. I figured if I could tackle

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my prerace anxiety, then I could perform at a higher level. So I entered with very high

expectations.

I remember our class watching a TED Talk very early into the semester. In this video,

Dr. Seligman – founder of positive psychology – explains why he felt the need to create the

subfield in psychology. When asked to describe the state of psychology at the time, he replied

with, “Not good enough.” Seligman agreed that psychology has helped to discover a number of

fascinating things. However, he felt each of these discoveries started with the question, “What is

wrong with people?” Psychologists were more interested in those who deviated from the social

norm. Meanwhile, the majority of “normal” people were left ignored. They spent more time

reminding people of their negative qualities, rather than extending on their positive ones. Again,

Seligman said the state of psychology was, “Not good enough.”

This message has carried with me ever since. Take interactions with my brother for

example. Where most people might be fixated on negative attributions, I try to elaborate on all

of his positive qualities. Seligman’s words are a large reason why I want to deter people from

being so judgmental about mental disorders. It is the reason why my post-race evaluations have

matured. It is not a good idea for me to exhaust myself with all of the negative takeaways from a

race. I do not benefit from asking myself, “What did I do wrong today?” It is more constructive

to reframe it as, “What did I learn today?”

I used to be so hard on myself after a bad performance. However, all of this negativity

did not promote any sort of progress. I realized this more the older I got. I could sit there and

feel bad for myself, but what does that ultimately fix? The past happened. There is nothing I

can do about it. There is something to be said about the future though. Remember, “Nothing

can be changed until it is faced.”

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I now appreciate that fact. When I have a bad performance, I figure out what I can learn

from my errors. How can I then apply them to the next race? I also try to put things in

perspective now too. Just recently, I tied my personal best (8:35) for the 3,000m event. I was

hoping to run faster than what I did, but it is what it is. Instead of dwelling on the time, I looked

at where I was. Last year when I ran that time, my training sat at an average of 55-60 miles a

week. This year, I ran a combined 200 miles the two weeks leading up to the race. I am putting

in twice the volume that I did at this time last year, and still tied my best time. There is

obviously something to be said for that.

Listening to Seligman helped me to gain an appreciation for learning/experience in the

past four years. It prepared me to face life’s challenges with a better attitude. Just the other day,

someone broke into my car and stole items out of the back seat. This is a challenge no one ever

wants or expects to go through. But even now, just a few days later, I looked for something

positive to hold on to. Feeling sorry for myself would not make the items reappear. So I did not

want to waste my time thinking it would. Instead, I realized this happens to hundreds of people

every day. I was not the first one, and I will not be the last. I also try to remind myself that

things could always be worse. I had my stuff stolen, but at least my girlfriend and I were not

physically hurt. Unfortunately, the physical damage inflicted on people cannot always be

replaced.

Again, it is not what I did wrong but what can I learn. Needless to say, I have learned not

to leave my items in plain sight inside my car!

Sociological Social Psychology

My sixth artifact reflects on the knowledge I gained from Sociological Social Psychology

(Fall 2014). One of the great things about psychology (major) and sociology (minor) is the real-

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life applicability to any piece of information. I can learn a principle in class, and then walk

outside and observe it happening all across campus. I have also been interested by what makes

people act the way they do. This is not exactly something you can think about while sitting in on

an algebra class.

One of the topics we discussed was about the self-concept. What comes to mind when

someone asks you the question, “Who are you?” There are also several selves that underlie an

individual’s self-concept. For instance, two of the major ones are the actual self and the ideal

self. The actual self is the person you see yourself as currently. The ideal self is the person you

would like to be. Depending on the distance between these two selves, a person will either feel

happy, frustrated, or fearful. All of this material seems simple enough, right? Yet, it amazes me

how people frequently do this on a daily basis. Based on social interactions and daily activities,

people are evaluating the discrepancy between these two selves. In just a few words, a person

can explain this common intrapersonal phenomenon.

I have been grappling with the distance between these two points for several years now.

First, it was answering what exactly my ideal self’s job description would be. Now, it fits the

ideal circumstances for a job in clinical neuropsychology. I think the current distance between

the two points is creating a level of fear in me. Yet, thanks to Sociological Social Psychology, I

at least have some insight into the internal conflicts I face every single day.

I am fearful because I am still not certain what a path to clinical neuropsychology exactly

looks like. I feel like the majority of my classes have not helped me prepared for this specific

discipline. I worry that I may get into graduate school, and then be expected to know a high

level of information right away. And the rest will be left for me to figure out on my own. I also

worry that my resume for application is not full enough. Acceptance into a graduate program is

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a highly competitive procedure. I worry that all of my hard work and dedication over four plus

years will not amount to anything. I worry that I will not get into a program. These are all

realistic possibilities that I would need to learn to deal with.

These realities are hard to swallow. Yet, if all I did was worry about these fears, then I

would be going against what James Baldwin taught me up until this point. Since the future is

largely unknown, it can be a fearful thing to think about. Not everything I do (then, now, or

later) will go as I want. But nothing will go the way I want if I do nothing to achieve desired

outcomes. If all I do is worry about getting accepted into graduate school, then how does that

ultimately help me get into graduate school? If all I do is worry, then I am wasting time that can

be better spent doing the things I can, to at least give myself the best shot. It reflects a saying I

heard once -- “Control your controllables.” I cannot control whether a university will permit me

into their program. However, I can control what I do in the meantime.

I have heard that part of graduate school acceptance reflects an applicant’s experience. It

shows a student’s additional interest in the particular topic. I do not have much experience to go

off of. However, I think this is something that is within my control. So experience has become

one of my number one priorities.

To fulfill this priority, I have started reaching out to the professionals who are in the

clinical neuropsychology field. I visited our psychology department’s website, and searched for

a professor whose research interests reflected mine the closest. This exercise led me to Dr.

Demakis. I immediately contacted him to see if he had any undergraduate work available. He

told me one of his student’s was currently conducting a study, measuring the financial capacity

of college students. This study requires the researcher to administer a battery of

neuropsychological assessments. Collectively, these assessments measure several variables,

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such as the following: intelligence, GPA, working memory, arithmetic, attention, and executive

functioning. For the past couple of months, I have been trained to conduct the study – as a

researcher – myself. I see this as a great way to “get my feet wet.”

I did nearly the same thing in preparation for the summer months as well. I reached out

(via email) to a few neuropsychologists working in Charlotte. I mentioned that I was a student at

UNC Charlotte, majoring in psychology, and interested in pursuing a field in their discipline.

Though there are several confidentiality concerns in this line of work, I simply asked if they

would be interested in any additional assistance during the summer. I was grateful to hear back

from Dr. Rinehardt a few days later. We have been exchanging messages back and forth over

email, and I had a phone interview with him recently. He told me he would find out exactly

what I could do for him and the Carolinas Healthcare System. At the moment, he said I could do

work for him regarding IRB approval for future research objectives. He also said I could sit in

on clinical interviews (patient permitted); and then he would discuss his analysis with me after.

All of this sounds wonderful to me! Dr. Rinehardt and I resemble two separate neural pathways

that connected and interacted with each other to achieve a goal.

In the matter of a few months, I managed to “control my controllables.” Graduate school

acceptance still remains uncertain, but I feel much better than I did just four months ago. I have

also started to close the gap between my actual self and my ideal self. I work with what I have

available to me, and utilize it as much as I can. My actions are reflecting James Baldwin’s

words. My actions are mirroring the mechanisms of neuroplasticity. I am undergoing what I can

now, to promote improved functioning later on. I am reorganizing my current activities to

reshape the extent of my future. I am growing.

Motivation

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Motivation (Fall 2014) is my seventh artifact, and is another class I signed up for out of

pure interest. Though it fulfilled psychology credits, I wanted to take it for my own personal

benefit. I believed it could support the number of positions I am involved with on campus; and

to make sure I am doing them appropriately. Although I am so keen on personal growth, and

succeeding as much as possible; I often am the one who interferes with these personal motives. I

can be my own worst enemy.

In taking this class, I wanted to fight off this negative mindset. I wanted to get explicit,

self-help strategies I could use to defeat my own worst enemy. By the end of the semester, I

learned a valuable way to process the goals I have. I also learned how to properly execute them.

I learned that when you set a goal, there immediately is a distance separating your desired

state from your current state. The important thing for me to remember is most long-term goals

cannot be achieved over night; that is why they are long-term goals. So I opened up to the notion

that not everything I can do for the goal can be done immediately. This seems simple enough,

but it is very important to remember. Otherwise, tackling all things at once leads to additional,

unnecessary stress; which interferes with the overall goal, and addresses the weakness I stated

earlier about getting in my own way.

I learned the value of devising a map. This map can display all the sub goals that will

enable me to reach my ultimate goal later on down the line. It can be a great representation of

how one will execute their day-to-day actions. This keeps me honest to the demands I have set

for myself; allowing me to tackle my goal little by little; rather than all at one time.

Though this material seems light and fairly simple, it is really important. Motivation

comes in different forms and degrees for everyone. I think it is fascinating to know what drives

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people to accomplish all that they can. It is certainly important to me, and the way I conduct

myself every day.

Being my own worst enemy is something I have struggled with for a very long time. I do

not like being the interference to my own success. It is very dysfunctional. This class has

provided me with helpful ways to combat my own personal drawbacks. This information is

meaningful to me. It is not something I memorized for a few days just to pass an exam; only to

have forgotten it two weeks later. The material I learned in Motivation is very real. Again,

something I can apply outside the classroom setting. Something I will be mindful of as I

continue to face life’s challenges ahead.

The Next Step

It is remarkable that my time at UNC Charlotte is near an end. Time certainly has not

been forgiving. Just like before, I am anxiously awaiting the next stage’s set of demands. But

unlike before, I am better prepared. Bearing Mr. Baldwin’s words in mind, I have a stronger

attitude to approach the situation.

I would like to say graduate education (eighth and final artifact) is the next step for my

career. One message I received after becoming a psychology major is that a graduate degree is

almost a must in today’s economy. It was not that long ago that my future seemed uncertain.

Continuing my education was not an idea I had originally intended on. Therefore, this plan is

something I needed to adjust to. Ever since, I have been feverishly attempting to do everything I

can; in order to set myself up as best I can for the greatest amount of success possible.

When I came to this school, I had no sense for my future. I was a typical, stubborn,

young adult whose number one priority was anything but school. This does not mean I did not

try hard in school; quite the contrary in fact. However, I was still holding on to the illusion that

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maybe one day, I could take my running to the professional level. I was an “athlete-student” if

you will. But as I pinned down my major, and years starting clicking by, I started to mature in

my thinking.

I realized I have been given a unique opportunity in life. I have been extremely fortunate

to receive an athletic scholarship to attend UNC Charlotte. Five years ago, someone decided I

was worth the investment. I am taking this gift and fulfilling every single opportunity I can. I do

not want to leave this university having any regrets. More importantly, I do not want my

investor to have any regrets in their decision of me. It would be a waste not to maximize my

opportunity (scholarship) as best I can.

Now, I want my identity to start with anything but running. In high school, I was a fairly

shy kid with a few select friends. To everyone else, I was just “the kid who ran really far.” My

running identity persisted for the first three years at UNC Charlotte as well. I enjoyed this status

for a while. But it is different now. As I continue to set my future up as best I can, I am

beginning to participate in a number of other things as well. I would like for some of the light to

shine on these activities as well.

I am a more active community service volunteer today than I was a few years ago. My

first two years at this school, I would also disregard the beginning of the semester emails seeking

volunteer note takers. Now I have a couple hundred hours accumulated between several classes.

Honestly, I probably took on the responsibility for selfish reasons at first. I figured if graduate

school were to be my destiny, then community service could be one way to get there. So I did it

for myself. The same thought exists even now, a couple of months later. But it is not purely for

selfish reasons. I realized my work was contributing to another student’s academic success.

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Since I am now a “student-athlete” again, school is very important to me. So why ever shy away

from helping someone else achieve too?

I carried this same message into my role as a teaching assistant (TA) for Dr. Bennett in

Introduction to Brain & Behavior. Again, I did it partly for selfish reasons at first. I wanted this

to be another piece to put on my resume. Yet by the end, I got out of it much more than I went in

with. I assisted some students with their performance in the course. I learned a little bit about

what occurs on the other side of the classroom perspective. I certainly gained an appreciation for

a professor’s line of work. Reviewing papers can be a daunting task. Most importantly, I

established a closer connection to a professional in the psychology field. Dr. Bennett’s

knowledge and input is something of great value to me. Listening to her lectures as a TA as

opposed to a student, I had a different sense of the class. I heard less of the content material, and

more of her passion for teaching. I heard the willingness in her voice; and the desire to see her

students succeed as much as possible. This is exactly the type of professional I want to listen to.

So much, in fact, that she has agreed to assist in my challenge of writing this piece.

This same academic spirit extends into my work as a Disciplinary Communications

Consultant (DCC). As a DCC, I work closely with students in a particular section of Research

Methods II course. Since this class is writing extensive, I basically work as a writing tutor for

students. A psychological research paper is far different from a traditional English paper; and so,

having additional resources benefits them. This line of work has helped me get my feet wet for

the professional world. This internship alone takes up most of my time. Between attending my

designated class, attending meetings, reviewing papers, and holding office hours, I do not have

much time left. Yet, I am also tackling credits of my own; and running up to 100 miles a week

for cross country/track. I am activating and challenging different aspects of my life to help

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improve my overall outcome. I really do not know what to expect for graduate school, but I

certainly know I will be busy. I see the day-to-day lifestyle I have right now, to be good practice

for what may come next. My time at UNC Charlotte has certainly fulfilled a lot of

learning/experience.

Conclusion

My collegiate career has been the most defining piece of my life so far. UNC Charlotte

has served host to a number of significant life events. Some have embodied growth

(Sociological Social Psychology); others learning/experience (2012 A10 Cross Country

Championships, Positive Psychology, Graduate School); a few damaging (A field in Clinical

Neuropsychology); while others were dysfunctional (Abnormal Psychology, Citizenship,

Motivation). Good or bad, each contributed an opportunity for improvement. A moment for me

to evaluate the event, and then strive for a better outcome in future endeavors. The same basic

process that mirrors neuroplasticity.

In high school, I still possessed the same stubborn attitude to be the best I could be. I

stopped at nothing to give an endeavor my absolute best effort. However, this really only

extended to running. I identified myself as a runner, and nothing more. To high school peers, I

was the quiet kid who could be seen running all over town. To be honest, I fed off my peers’

evaluations. It satisfied me to know that others observed my enduring passion.

I was also the kid who was living comfortably with his parents, and without an

overwhelming concern in the world. I was perfectly content with this persona. This was why

leaving such a comfortable environment to attend college was such a stressful time. Like many

other students, the uncertainty surrounding the first year of college seemed unbearable. I did not

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know what exactly lied ahead, fearing it would be insurmountable. I feared I wouldn’t be able to

handle it. I didn’t want to handle it.

The fear of the unknown is something that I indeed struggled with before entering

college. I feared undesirable outcomes; and simply tried avoiding them altogether. I reasoned

that if I ignored them, then nothing bad could possibly happen. Yet, another perspective I failed

to look at was what I could potentially be missing out on by avoiding certain situations. The fear

of the unknown does not always lead to negative outcomes. Looking back, I wonder if this early,

collegiate mindset may have prevented me from maximizing my opportunities and/or

experiences.

Freshman year, I was perfectly content with just going to class and practice; and then

simply hiding in my dorm room the rest of the day. I still held onto my high school identity

(quiet runner), so this routine satisfied my needs. I think it is also partly due to the fact that I still

held onto the belief that I could one day become a professional runner. But it did not take too

many collegiate races for me to be humbled. The unrealistic possibility of going pro really set

in. This was a wakeup call for me. I realized I needed to be doing things outside of competitive

running because the days in it were limited. I believe this is about the time I adopted James

Baldwin’s advice. Ever since this stark realization about my future, my life has reflected his

message.

I think my participation with the Hospitality House of Charlotte (HHoC) was clear

evidence of this. Community service started out as a chore for me. Now it is a part of who I

identify with. I gained a rich appreciation for life, participating in these service hours.

Something I may have never experienced otherwise. Or even my race at the 2012 Atlantic 10

Cross Country Championships. Every once in a while, I revisit that day and wonder what would

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have happened had my shoe stayed on. Good or bad, I will never know. But that was such a

teachable moment for me. I have run in several races since that infamous, fall day. And not

once has my shoe been stripped off my foot. Without the A10 Championships, perhaps I still

would not fully appreciate that life does not always go as planned; but that it still goes on. The

past is absolute, and nothing can be done to change it. Yet, there is always something to be said

about the future.

Knowing the person I once was has made seeing the person I have grown into extremely

rewarding. Four years later, I have: completed nearly two hundred hours of community service;

served as a teaching assistant; have worked as a writing mentor for students enrolled in Research

Methodology II; have contributed to an undergraduate research study conducted on campus; I am

planning to work closely with a professional in the clinical neuropsychology field; and am

currently preparing to face a new host of challenges on the graduate school level. I am proud of

the steps I have taken for my professional career. When I look at this list, I notice two very

important things. (1) Each one these activities as forced me to break out of my traditional, quiet

self and interact with others; while also having to initiate the interaction myself. (2) Not one of

them has anything to do with running. So in four years, I have grown out of the “quiet runner”

identity and grown into something much more.

By taking these steps, I have reached closer to a case of personal neuroplasticity.

Remember, Cramer and colleagues (2011) believe the central tenets of neuroplasticity are

experience dependence, time sensitivity, and motivation and attention. Without them, it is more

difficult for the process to unfold. How have I ensured this? Starting from the time my brother

was diagnosed with a mental disorder, my path in life has been more focused. I realized clinical

neuropsychology is something I really want to do (motivation), and paid attention to the things I

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needed to do for that to happen. I declared psychology as a major, and later declared sociology

and cognitive science as minors. These disciplines have guided me into the appropriate

environment (classes) I need in order to achieve my goal (experience dependence). Furthermore,

I have put myself out there (to Drs. Demakis & Rinehardt) in order to gain real-world exposure.

And lastly, I realized my time to take advantage of these opportunities and experiences – while at

UNC Charlotte – are limited (time sensitivity). I decided I did not want to graduate from UNC

Charlotte regretting an option I never fully committed to. I also realized this wouldn’t happen

overnight; but that I, at least, could be satisfied by putting the pieces together with each semester.

Now, I believe I can argue neuroplasticity has indeed occurred.

Like the human brain, I have matured in this stage of my life-course development. I have

grown and learned strategies to ensure better outcomes for my future. While this included

damaging and dysfunctional times as well, I have become stronger because of them. I have

started to live a “neuroplastic” life while attending UNC Charlotte. I do not know what is to be

said for the future. This may include graduate school. It may not. Regardless, I feel better

equipped to challenge whatever it is that comes my way. Like the increasing complexity

influencing our brains, my life will continue to face the changes I want to see unfold.

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References

Cramer, S., Mriganka, S., Dobkin, B., O’Brien, C., Sanger, T., Trojanowski, J., …Vinogradov,

S. (2011). Harnessing neuroplasticity for clinical applications. Brain: A journal of

neurology, 134, 1591-1609.

Herzberg, B. (1994). Community service and critical teaching. College Composition and

Communication, 45(3), 307-319. Retrieved from http://www.jstor.org/stable/358813

Liou, S. (2010). Neuroplasticity. Retrieved March 14, 2015, from

http://web.stanford.edu/group/hopes/cgi-bin/hopes_test/neuroplasticity/

Seligman, M. (2011). Martin Seligman: The new era of positive psychology. Retrieved from

http://www.ted.com/talks/martin_seligman_on_the_state_of_psychology?language=en

DSM-5 schizoaffective disorder

Sincero, S. (Jun 27, 2011). Neuroplasticity. Retrieved from http://explorable.com/neuroplasticity

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Acknowledgements

First and foremost, I want to thank my family. My parents have provided me with relentless support each step of the way. They have always been there for me, and it comforts me to know this will never change.

I thank my brother, Justin, for giving me a sense of purpose in life. My worth ethic and motivation in life stems from him, and the many others out there like him. Together, I think wonderful things can be accomplished.

I want to thank Drs. Bennett (thesis advisor) and Blanchard (reader), as well as Professor Hicks and Dr. Warner, for their advice and commitment in making this final product the best it could be. It certainly means a lot to know the time they invested towards helping me, despite the very busy lives they both lead.

I want to thank my professors who have contributed to my education and knowledge base.

My cross country/track & field coaches for pushing me to be the best person I can, on and off the track.

Finally, I would like to thank James Baldwin; for his words of wisdom has given my life direction.