Final Freedom

TORBJRN SW

Even before I was one year old, in the lap of my father in front of an open fire. Warmth from within and from without, I knew who I was. I was conscious of my-self, knowing myself as the timeless awareness that I always am. Completely calm I enjoyed my present state as a baby, fully conscious of all things around me, knowing it all without fail . Growing up I did have the memory of this first impression of mine but failed to recognize its ultimate value. As a teen-ager I had this vision; I was falling but no matter how I fell I couldn't fall out of this Universe. That funnily enough took away all fear. Intimations of being part of something completely whole. It was't until I met Andrew Cohen when this fully awakened in my consciousness and I became fully aware of our true nature. Now, since many years of learning through trial and error, I once again cher-ish this embodied vision that my less than one year old body and mind had b a c k t h e n .As a teenager I remember wanting to un-derstand the truth for myself. A few

years later I left home and travelled to Asia, my spiritual journey beginning in earnest. I sat down on the Trans Siberian railway and opened C.G. Jung's autobiog-raphy. For about five years I travelled, studied, read and meditated my way around Asia. Glimpsing at times un-known spiritual realms, spurring me on in my quest to come to an absolute un-derstanding of myself. In January 1991 while I was in Bodhgaya India to do a meditation retreat I ran into one of A n d r e w C o h e n ' s s t u d e n t s . C h a p t e r 1 .A w a k e n i n gI had seen this group of westerners pre-paring a large teaching tent to be set up. When I was in the bank queuing I asked the girl next to me if she knew anything about it. She said she was a part of them as a student of Andrew Cohen, an Ameri-can spiritual teacher, and that he was en-lightened. Oh really, I thought, in-trigued. She welcomed me to join them for the evening Satsang (teaching). I and some 60 others sat waiting for Andrew to appear. When he walked down the

Revelation And Natural Freedom

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stairs my illusion of meeting an old In-dian guru with white flowing beard crashed. Here was this young American from New York, non-apologetic and con-fident. When he had sat down he started by saying he only wanted to speak about enlightenment and was happy to take any questions regarding that and only that. I was kind of rocked because I had never heard anyone speak in such a straightforward manner about the goal of the spiritual life. I had listened to many of a sermon of the blessings of the spiritual life, of practices, read about truth and about love, and so forth. But never had I heard anyone speak about the goal with such directness. He meant business. I perked up my ears and was on the edge of my seat (of my pillow on the floor). Andrew began by saying that anyone can be free if they really want to, here and now. I had been struggling quite a while with my own progress, or lack thereof, and felt frustrated and disil-lusioned with my own capacity to be able to pull it off. So now when I heard of a possibility to finish it sooner rather than later I jumped at the chance. Relieved that I might not have to spend the next twenty years in meditation retreats. I asked him; what do I have to do? An-drew said wanting to be free has to be more important than anything else. He

told me that I have to give up my past, and I have to give up my future. My first impression of Andrew was like one of meeting an old Zen master. He was di-rect and confident, but his confidence didn't stem from arrogance, it was as if he was seated in the reality he spoke of. For me it was like listening to a foreign language, I couldn't understand what he was talking about, but it rang true in my heart. I figured either he must be crazy or he knows what he is talking about. And I was sure he wasn't mad, every-thing he said made sense deep inside and I trusted him. I had come to Bodh-gaya to do a meditation retreat and now I had to make a choice of where to spend my time. So I asked Andrew what would benefit me the most, to go to the medita-tion retreat or to stay with him. To stay here of course! he answered immedi-ately. Walking home at night I pondered what he had said. Give up your past and give up your future. I approached it like I would with homework. I sat down and went through all things that belonged to my past. As I went over them one by one I had to weigh them against my freedom, to see if I could discard them in favor of freedom. The past was well known while my freedom totally unknown. This made it a bit scary but I knew that freedom, the highest goal in life, must outweigh

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any personal sacrifice. It just had to. God, truth and love couldn't be out-matched by any thing I could personally throw up. So one by one, I discarded my past; my country, my relatives, my ca-reer (didn't have one, easy), my mother, my father, my sisters, my friends. Some were easy, some very difficult, but know-ing I had to make a definite choice, free-dom always loomed high above. And I knew my loved ones would understand. How can we deny God? Having dealt with my past, I followed the same proce-dure with my future. There were fewer things there but bigger attachments. I managed to give them up, but when I came to my biggest investment I got really scared, if I let go of this I'll be no-body! That was scary, to be nobody in this world.I told Andrew that I have to have this and he asked why. Because nothing else will ever satisfy me. No money, no woman, no worldly success, will ever be enough to fulfill me, unless I find what I am looking for. This I had known for a few years already and I was dying to find it. I knew my life would be worthless without it. So now when An-drew offered it freely I jumped at it, not knowing what a ride I was in for.This was the first time Andrew had returned to India to hold Satsang since he had been fully awakened while spending

time with Poonja-ji in Lucknow 1986. He was staying in Bodhgaya for five weeks, teaching every evening. Bodhgaya is the little dusty town where the Buddha had his grand awakening 2500 years ago. An offspring of the original tree under which he sat still casts shade over the stupa erected in his memory. As the days were passed in contemplation and ease, the evenings were filled with questions and answers. Slowly things started to happen. Insights fell in broad daylight. Something was working inside and re-sulted in visions and realizations of a na-ture never before experienced. I was pushing for understanding and Andrew told me I am weak minded and stubborn (all but true). He said I had too many ideas of what enlightenment was. Like a good schoolboy, this was my next home-work. I went home resolute to find out exactly what they were. I started to write down what I thought enlightenment was and meant. I stayed in the Burmese Vi-har (temple) in a small monks room, barely fitting my bed alone. I loved it, liv-ing my dream. As Bodhgaya is a major Buddhist pilgrim spot all Buddhist coun-tries have their own temple, and many serve as guesthouses as well. As I looked at my ideas I slowly realized that I thought enlightenment was a rest, an end of struggle, like as a sprinter can re-

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lax as he crosses the finish line. I thought it was a safe place where I could rest. Then out of the blue I thought of Je-sus on the cross. It wasn't safe! They put him on the cross and he didn't resist it. I realized freedom meant total vulnerabil-ity, no security whatsoever. I told An-drew the next day and he was glad and slightly surprised. Sitting waiting for the evening session to begin I looked at all present feeling I somehow knew all of them. I wondered why and suddenly I saw; they were all me. I was the only one in the room. This was so crazy, so funny, I could almost not believe it. After that session we all sat very quiet taking in what Andrew had poured out on us. Again I was looking at everybody and felt a genuine love for everyone there and I felt a deep gratitude for being a part of what was taking place. I had never felt such a love and gratitude in my whole l i fe before. It was so beautiful. Then came the day that would be the end of my search and the beginning of a new life. Maybe a week, ten days after first meeting Andrew I was strolling around the stupa when suddenly I saw and un-derstood: I have always been free and I have always known it. This was so sub-tle, so fine, I almost forgot it. But in the days that came I recalled it. Listening to

Andrew in satsang suddenly I realized I understood what he was speaking about. Then I remembered everything clearly what had happened the day before. I had always been free and I had always en-joyed this natural freedom. This mysti-fied me as why then had I been seeking. So I searched in my memory to see if it was true. I looked back on when I was five years old, when I had been 10 and when I had been 15 years of age, and at every instance I had been free. There never had been any obstacles, there are no obstacles and there never will be any obstacles. It was so easy, so simple. I was full of joy. When I recollected the event and remembered the view I had I saw that I had seen the scenery in front of my eyes just I as I do now but the seeing it-self was coming from a limitless depth behind my eyes. I who saw was out of this world, out of time, seeing through my eyes, into this world, into a world that was a dream. This is such a gem. I wondered why I had almost missed it, why it hadn't been obvious at the time it happened. So I looked at the event again and saw that the view wasn't anything other than this everyday vision I have every day, here and now (and as you have right now too). That was why I hadn't recognized it immediately, be-cause it is this ordinary view that we

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have all the time. Nothing had changed, nothing happened, there was no "experi-ence". The seeing had just been there when understanding came. But the un-derstanding cleared the egos veils of wrongly identifying with this person. This really blew me away, that this is our everyday seeing, right now as I write this. Nothing extraordinary, just plain normal. I just saw my true nature, my r e a l s e l f .Over dinner while speaking to a friend about freedom I suddenly realized that in any given moment I have the choice to choose freedom. I told Andrew and he said; that's it, that's my fundamental teaching! I saw how my reactions could be too fast for me to stop them in time; -that's why the Buddha spoke of mindful-ness, he said, and that's why one would have a Guru. I was afraid. Did I need one? With these new eyes I could under-stand where Andrew was coming from but he challenged me and I shakily stood by my experience. Doubts would harass me daily but over time I started to under-stand them. The weeks passed and it got time for Andrew to leave. That night, the night before he was supposed to leave, I woke up at two oclock in the morning, into a realization: Life was celebrating Life itself. A joyous dance for itself. It

turned into love. All-Love penetrated and pervaded all things, all man and all nature. Nature was a never-ending spring, gushing forth new life inces-santly. Man and woman in cosmic sexual embrace. Suddenly a vision. Leaves fal-ling slowly down over me from a clear dark blue night sky, so beautiful I look up. Then, an explosion that rocks the very bottom of my being; the Universe exploded from deep within, opening a crack in the firmament for a brief in-stant. An opening revealing another Uni-verse beyond. I gasped, it was so big. I woke up and started to write it down but tore it all up. I didn't want to spoil my g e m . Andrew left town and the gang split up. I headed for Delhi to fly out. Meditating in my dormitory recalling my already free nature, bliss was enveloping me, peace flowing through me, into this room, knowing it would touch anyone coming in. Someone walked in and sat down, waiting for me to end. As I looked up, she asked me how I did that. I could only say it wasn't me, and that I had met An-drew the week before.I flew to Thailand to hang out on the beach with a few friends. Speaking about Andrew to my newfound friend, she opened her heart and we spoke of her doubts. Suddenly

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she held her face, tears flowing, saying she knew she was free. How amazing all this was. Showing me what a satisfaction there is to share this truth. Later in her dream, standing on the beach, she too, exploded from within.How could I ever explain, the beauty I have seen. Who will ever know this secret you bestow. Thank you Andrew. How can I ever repay, your wish is my command. I owe you life. The day you set me free, even though you didn't do a thing, and neither did I, will forever be in my mind as the day my life b e g a n .C h a p t e r T w o . G i v i n g u p a p r i v a t e l i f e I spent the next year in Japan, digesting and contemplating the teachings. My head felt like full of pennies that slowly kept dropping one by one into the heart, making me understand different aspects to the truth. The following two years I went back to see Andrew in Bodhgaya during his annual winter retreats. After one year in Japan I was eager to meet An-drew again to speak to him about every-thing I had understood. Before I could meet him privately he asked me to speak with him in the teachings in the evening. That was daunting as I was nervous to

speak in public about these very per-sonal thoughts. There was a text in his latest book "Enlightenment is a Secret" that spoke to me intimately so I started our conversation by reading that out aloud. That turned into this beautiful dia-logue between us and at one point some-thing else took over; it was as if a tunnel of light was created between us and our words flowed effortlessly back and forth. I was stunned as I watched myself speak this clear language, using words I didn't even know I knew, declaring the choice-lessness of this choice of freedom. My passion released. The next day I got to see him privately. As I told him about everything I had learned since last year he nodded and said yes, that's good, but, he said smiling, there's more! What? What more? How could there be more? This is it, this is everything. Everything is here and now! I thought. He saw my doubt on my face and said again; Bjorn, there's more. I didn't understand and as I walked out into the beautiful country-side of rural India I wasn't going to get too hung up about any little thing. I was o n t o p o f m y w o r l d . One morning as we had gathered in the big tent for meditation Andrew started to talk and it turned into this beautiful incredibly powerful sermon (captured on

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tape it was named "Out of the Swamp"). We were all stunned. I remember walk-ing out of the tent in semi shock, think-ing this is unbelievable, this can't be hap-pening, not here, not now. But I knew it was true; I had heard Jesus speak.I was impressed by the change in his stu-dents from one year to another. They seemed to mature real fast. This in-trigued me and I became interested in his community and wondered what was going on in that growing gathering. I had never been interested in spiritual com-munities before, choosing to go my own way. There is the Buddhist fundamental concept of Buddha, Dharma and Sangha; the triple gem, meaning the fully awak-ened teacher, the teaching, and the com-munity or fellowship. I was aware that I happily avoided the third part. But slowly I became drawn towards it. An-drew exerted this distant relentless pull like a magnet to my soul. This involved my whole personal world and I had to deal with the toughest choices in my life, my marriage and my family, and finally there came a point where I had to leave i t a l l b e h i n d .Coming home from work one day I was hit as from lightning from a clear sky; my life was too small! I had set myself

up, wonderful wife, pretty house, good job, all my dreams fulfilled. I stood there, on an empty country road, know-ing my idyllic existence would come crashing down. Something much much bigger was calling.It was as if a bomb had been placed in my arms, knowing when I drop it it would destroy my world. It was just a matter of time. In my heart Andrew was calling me to give up my personal life and join his worldwide growing community. This was some-thing totally new and frightening. At the next summer retreat in the Swiss Alps it came to a head. I was going to give up everything I knew and had, and this led to some incredible experiences. This vi-sion, a large cloud descending onto earth, lit up from within, a voice coming from it; do you want to take part? How can you say no to God? I felt like a lamb being lifted up by strong arms and car-ried away to slaughter, my throat going to be slit as a matter of course. Isaw my-selfbeing flung out of this solar system, away from this planet, leaving everyone and everything behind. I was so happy I wanted to scream, to shout with joy. I had never wanted anything else. This was what the monk's life is, homeless a n d f r e e .We cried for three days straight, me and

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my wife. It shocked me to the heart when it finally hit home that I couldn't take anyone with me. Within a few months we had packed up and flew to California where Andrew lived. A new life awaited and many years of learning, hardships and blessings followed. Learn-ing that Life is not about you. Hardships when confronting the Ego. Blessings in c o m m u n i o n .C h a p t e r T h r e e . G i v i n g u p s e l fThe life in the community became a tug of war between Andrew and me. His re-lentless call to give everything pushed me to leave twice. Too immature to un-derstand the demands of genuine spiri-tual life I opted to bail out when the go-ing got tough. But I came back. I knew that we had unfinished business to take care of. I knew that I still hadn't surren-dered my life to him. I had given up eve-rything in my life to be with him but was still was holding back the ultimate sacri-fice; my self. This would take two years of serious thought and much soul search-ing to come to terms with. All doubts lifted when I saw clearly that Andrew only wanted me to be free and nothing

else. I was now going to give him my life. We had all come to Rishikesh, in the foot-hills of the Himalayas, for the winter re-treat. I was full of confidence as I had de-cided that this would be the place where I handed him my life. The two weeks were filled with unbelievable events, ex-periences relating to surrender filled my heart and I was coming to an end. One early morning as a few of us were chant-ing together I experienced that my spo-ken words turned into flames, the letters I read caught fire. In my whole inside there was a wild fire burning, coming out of my eyes and out of my mouth. This raging fire would burn anything in its wake. I found Andrew communicating di-rectly into my heart as white heat filled my chest. Andrew gave me a treasure to safe keep. To honour this treasure was to be true to it, wanting to keep it pure. In the last days Andrew met with us and he straight away asked me what had hap-pened. My inside was about to erupt; he knew what was happening, so I blurted out, you already know it! With his sweet smile he still asked me softly if I wouldn't mind telling us a little. I could only shake my head, as it was too pre-cious, too tender to speak. Then he asked me what I was going to do and I thought, but you know, my life is yours. He insisted and at last I understood that

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he needed me to speak it out, to say it, so it becomes real, not just a silent under-standing. I said; my life is yours! And as I spoke I felt as if I was handing him my life with my hands, and just as I let it go into his hands, he gave it straight back to me. That took me totally by surprise. He handed it right back to me, not hesitat-ing one second. What a lesson, what a se-cret, what a wonderful truth. He never wanted my life, but in order for him to give it to me, I had to give it to him first. It all made perfect sense. Afterwards as I walked down to the river the saying in the Bible came to me, "and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever". I looked upriver and saw my future stretch out into infinity, wide open.C h a p t e r F o u r . J e s u s i s t h e M e s s i a hI had presumed that surrendering to An-drew automatically meant that I would join his community, so that was what I had decided to do prior to the "hando-ver". Now Andrew asked me again what I meant to do. I said I wanted to be his student proper. He said go and think it over, but I said I've already made my mind up. I wanted to prove to myself,

and prove to Andrew that I actually could pull it off. Long before meeting An-drew I had been interested to learn about the major players in the spiritual world; Krishna, the Buddha and Jesus, as well as lesser known spiritual lights like Ramana Maharshi, Anandamayi Ma, the Christian saints, various gurus, and also the learn about the different teach-ings coming out these extraordinary peo-ple and cultures, like Hinduism, Bud-dhism and Christianity, and Islam and Sufism to some extent. I wanted to un-derstand, and I wanted to understand their differences. I always tried to look at each one separate to see it from their van-tage point. Not to look at one from the other. From early on Jesus has always stood out as an extraordinary man to me. His life cannot simply be ignored. Es-pecially if one claims to be interested in truth. He was always only a hands reach away, never far from my vision. He fol-lowed me through all these years of seek-ing and finding. His example stood out as an undeniable measuring point when-ever I wanted to assess my "progress", and never did I measure up. He held out a promise that made me strive for more, wanting to come to a complete under-standing of him and of his mysteries, and of his significance throughout our history, his impact and his living legacy.

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Through my years in Andrews commu-nity this never left me, and I would from time to time speak excitedly about the in-credible truths of Jesus to my not so be-mused brothers. Thanks to the insights I gained while being with Andrew I started to understand much of other re-ligions and I started to understand what Jesus was about. The last unresolved question I harbored was about the true meaning of this life in the flesh, and what was the meaning of Jesus resurrec-tion into a glorified body. I wanted to un-derstand what that meant. I thought if I don't understand that I will not be able to understand Jesus true significance. I knew I had to pursue this enquiry all by myself, unsupported by anyone, even An-drew. This happened before I came to a full surrender to him. We were in Rishikesh for the annual winter retreat, two full weeks by the river Ganges in northern India. A beautiful location right in the foothills of the Himalayas. I had decided to leave the community after the retreat was over and travel upriver into the mountains, to find a place for soli-tary contemplation by myself for a few months to resolve these lingering ques-tion marks.

Resurrection and the Meaning of Life.

Hiking into the foothills of the Himala-yas I strode in through a small gate lead-ing to a small clearing by the Ganges river, a small ashram consisting of only a few huts for solitary contemplation, prayer and meditation, run by a British woman sadhu named Nani Ma. Me and my two friends walked into an atmos-phere of heightened spiritual tension. There was a palpable sense of love and deep laying wisdom surrounding the place. We were expected and Nani Ma sat us down on a patch of grass next to the river and asked us our intention for our stay in the ashram. By this time my inner world was churning up, something was taken place that was beyond my com-prehension but I loved it. The inner ten-sion kept constant and our dialogue was almost as a quiet background to it. We were shown our individual huts where w e w o u l d l i v e .The next three months was just wonder-ful. I had found this small ashram, just a few small huts, along the side of the Ganges. Nestled among the peaks at about 10.000 feet's altitude, the river running rapidly through narrow gorges, clean and drinkable, cool and refreshing for early morning baths, beautiful with green glacial waters. Here I read the Bi-ble, meditated, chanted with the resident English woman sadhu, and just had time

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to think. One morning I found myself naturally falling into a spontaneous con-templation. Sitting outside my little hut enjoying the morning sun. A softness fell over me, and I understood that I have sole responsibility for the well being of every single person, and that I have the sole responsibility for the welfare of the whole planet as well. Suddenly I dis-solved, me as a historic person vanished, instead I was filled with glorious light. I regained my body and I regained my voice, my real body, and my real voice. I started to praise all things, my voice no longer impeded but full and unob-structed. White light was everywhere. Now I saw what Jesus meant with "me and my father are one", "but my father is bigger than me". This was resurrection into a glorified body. This was Holy and this was only by Gods Mercy. The ground I sat on became my closest ally, so close, like my pillow, like my bed. The whole Earth supported me and bore wit-n e s s t o w h a t w a s h a p p e n i n g . My time in Andrews community was coming to an end. On and off for twelve years, pursuing my own spiritual ques-tions at times, and learning and partici-pating in Andrews never ending explora-tion of the emergence of communal con-sciousness among his students world-

wide. Personally I felt complete in my surrender to Andrew and I wanted to move on. He is my own self, but my heart wasn't in the community anymore. I was looking for a steadfast relation-ship, and after a pretty messy affair, I found myself alone and longed for com-munity in spirit. I did the Alpha Course, the 10-week introduction course into Christianity. I loved it. They didn't have to convince me of anything. Jesus had been my muse for a long time. It was like an open door into a living Church. I got baptized full immersion and for the first time could feel I was a real follower of Je-sus. It gave me a sound and real founda-tion and context for my life in the spirit. Some years earlier while in Andrews community, it had dawned on me that Je-sus is the Messiah. This I never really questioned but this affirmation was so strong and vivid, it jolted me upright. Since being baptized my life has been filled with joy and things are working out mysteriously as my prayers are being an-swered. It brings my life to completion and promises a life in abundance.

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Truth does not exist as a separate reality as a static Absolute. It has no meaning as an idea or concept. Truth is expressed in what we do. Therefore we can't talk about it without being it. It has to be proven as we speak about it. It has to be manifested through our understanding of the immediacy of awakening. It is now and now and now. Anything less will only be an expression of ignorance and of arrogance if we believe we know some-thing.

At midday walking in Bodhgaya sud-denly I saw and understood, "I have al-ways been free, and I have always known it". I looked back on my life and realized that I have always enjoyed this natural freedom. This seeing came from far be-hind me and as I looked through my eyes I saw that this world is nothing but a dream. This seeing was so fine, so subtle that I almost forgot it. Listening to An-drew in satsang I was reminded and I re-membered everything clearly. It was so simple, so easy. I was full of joy.

One night walking home after Satsang suddenly another insight; I saw clearly that I had never met Andrew. Astonish-ing, all prior events to my present mo-ment had not occurred. Time itself was usurped. I laughed out loud at the pre-dicament. All events leading up to my conscious present experience, all history, was clearly seen as having never existed at all. Time as a reference was nullified. How extraordinary!

At 2 am I woke up into a realization. Life was celebrating life itself. Nature was a celebration, a joyous dance for itself. It turned into Love. All-love was pervading and penetrating all things; all nature, man and woman. Truth is Love. Love is truth. Then a vision before me; falling leaves from a dark night sky. Its beauty makes me look up - then suddenly - an explosion that rocked the very bottom of my being. I and the whole universe ex-ploded and for an instant the universe split in two revealing an immense new universe behind.

The Immediacy Of Awakening

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Mu rises from the wall of space and goes back into it. The wall being void with un-limited potentiality. Always full, never lacking never exhausted. The void wherein all things are contained is inex-haustible. It is always full. It contains all things, manifest and unmanifest. It is un-limited potentiality.

It is pure. It is still. It is reality.

Only that is REAL.

Like a spring, ever afresh, nature in celebration and in joy, explodes into infi-nite patterns.

Without plans I live with You.

Without thinking about you, without see-ing you.

Knowing nothing, what can I be but happy?

Knowing nothing means to face You. Fac-ing you, you bring a smile to my lips.

Isnt this the fountain of life?

Nothing is hidden. Just as you see the scenery in front of your eyes you can see the content of your mind right now.

Whether it is clear or cloudy you have no problem of distinguishing it. Why do you dislike a rainy day?

With no control over my emotions, sud-denly love shines through the despair. The underlying reality of love and beauty shines through the apparently real expe-rience of life. Subtle and soft the mind is unable to grasp it.

In a clear mirror everything is clearly seen. Everything I do has an effect. I cause my own pain. Being here again, nothing ever happened. Form touches me, sound surrounds me, color attracts me. Seeing through the veil of life...

I am fulfilled.

There is a rapture inside that wants to take place. It has nothing to do with per-sonal feelings towards others. Its a rap-ture of recognition of the truth of non-abidance, of non-existence.

Emptiness doesnt wait for anyone. Emp-tiness will not justify itself. It moves on. It is like a current that moves across any-thing that is standing still. No blame. Its a force that doesnt acknowledge any ar-

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guments. Blessed is he who lets go. If he succeeds his life will be a river.

Open or shut your eyes, the splendor is all around.

Everything is seen in the light.

Seen in the light everything is the same.

True and false do not apply.

Still, without going anywhere, I move freely.

On my way to Hokota Town, Hokota is coming to me.

I only speak to myself. I only write to my-self. I only think to myself. Everything I do

I only do to myself.

Since the beginning, not a single step for-ward.

There is no path. There is no learning. There is no coming closer to. There is no maybe, soon or almost. Everything is self-evident right now.

No thought means no mind. No mind means no seeing, no hearing, no feeling, no thinking. No body, no world, no noth-ing.

Since your fundamental mind is empty as space, limitless and void of character-istics it can not be held or placed any-where.

The presence of your true nature is not revealed yet not hidden. It is right in front of your eyes, and right behind your eyes.

Ignorance is enlightenment. All different shades fills the spectrum.

Emptiness fills the void to the rim.

It is impossible to fall out of the uni-verse.

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The round moon is full. There is no flaw.

Blazing light, lightening speed.

At once step up onto the platform.

Above, communication can begin.

Below, vain discrimination never ends.

The silence sets in. The caravan has moved on. Left alone in the dessert. Use-less and freed I wait under a clear night-sky. Gaining strength for my solo jour-ney. I shout into the darkness. -Stay still, comes the reply. The world is too strong. I leave it. No longer am I. All is erased. What is left? Infinite light spreading eve-rywhere. A light without explanation. An emptiness so full. A blindness so clear. Ecstasy, give yourself up. Here all rules break. Come, we can walk together, you and I.

Vad finns kvar? Ondligt ljus sprider sig ver allt. Ett ljus utan frklaring. En tom-het s full. En blindhet s klar. Extas, ge

dig sjlv upp. Hr brister alla regler. Kom, vi kan g tillsamans -du och jag

The kingdom of God. Heaven descends. Secret of secrets. Nothing else I ever wanted. Fear of dying. Have to go. No choice any more. I want to scream, to shout with joy. I am so lucky. I am so happy.

Cloud formations lit up by light descend-ing to Earth, the kingdom of God invit-ing me -do you want to take part? I saw myself being flung out of this solar sys-tem, away from this planet, alone and leaving everything and everybody be-hind. I felt like a lamb being picked up by strong arms and carried away to slaughter. Its throat was going to be slit as a matter of course.

My eyes repeatedly opened and closed. Spontaneously clearing a way.

"Sri Sri Anandamayi Ma - the Universal mother, came to me in the night. I held out my hands saying, -dont come close, Im dirty. She embraced me, loving me like a mother loves her child. And I knew

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that if she would come into my life there would be no more fear. She came and the whole Universe followed as her shadow. She is truly everything and the only One".

I was staying alone in the Shivananda Ashram in Rishikesh and tried to medi-tate in the evening in my room but found it very difficult to concentrate my mind. I was at a loss of how to proceed and felt unable to muster up the energy needed to pursue my spiritual liberation. I felt desperate. Sick and disillusioned with my weakness I cried out for help silently within. Almost in tears I fell asleep. Not long time after, I awoke, my eyes repeat-edly flicking open and closing automati-cally. I was conscious that a path was be-ing cleared or opened, when Sri Sri Anan-damayi Ma came to me. She flowed for-ward towards me in her elderly female form and I held out my hands saying, dont come close, Im dirty. She em-braced me, loving me like a mother loves her child. And I knew that if she would come into my life there would be no more fear. She came and the whole Uni-verse followed as her shadow. She is truly everything and the only One. I had seen her flowing into me and over me with an un-surpassing over-whelming sense of love, and trailing behind her

was the whole visible universe, revealing her own body. How blessed I was from this. I had cried out in spiritual agony to no one in particular in this little room and she came in person to bless and help me. In the contrast to the the divinity dis-played my own insignificance and wretchedness was evident yet Ananda-mayi Ma didnt hesitate to embrace me. Such love.

The sky, the rivers, the mountains, the fields. The earth, the forest, the clouds, the rain. The sea, the wind. The sun, the moon and the stars. All protects us and nourishes us. They provide and serve. How faint isnt our grasp of this?

Paper thin, like the surface of the ocean, the firmament rips open. Behind Shiva is roaring with laughter, his grin recogniz-able through the tear.

A shout so loud nobody hears it. The world brimming with fullness. A moving inferno in pastel colors.

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The morning star is not the star in the sky. It is the one bright pearl shinning solitary right in front of you.

Gently coming upon the understanding that the true norm for a human being is that I have sole responsibility for the wel-fare of every human being and I have sole responsibility for the welfare of the planet as a whole. This wonderful truth was not a heavy burden but instead something I wanted and it was only love. I was given back my body and I was given back my voice. Uninterrupted words of praise came. Unrestrained, the earth became my pillow, my bed -so close, so near. Bjrn was erased, name and history all gone. This was new. No body-consciousness and no other. Only white light pervading and all included all being One. There was no reason to go anywhere. Resurrection in a glorified body. This was blessedness and it was Holy. Only through the Mercy of God.

It is for all. It enables us to come out of the whirlpool of life and see the unity of all. It shows the way of how to live. It is what the Buddha outlined in his eight-fold noble path. It ennobles us and em-powers us.

Vi kan rdda historien om vi tar ansvar fr arvet.

Vi kan rdda vrlden om vi tar person-ligt ansvar fr allt som har hnt.Genom att ta hela vrldens skuld p dina axlar s "frlser" du all synd som ngonsin hnt. Du rddar vrlden. Du tar p dig hela ansvaret fr allt som ngonsin har hnt genom historien och drmed up-phver du domen ver arvssynden.

To whom could I concede this? To no one but my own wit. By my own choice I step forward. Stepping forward. Claim-ing ownership. I present myself for the first time. Tired of being divided I de-cided to go forth and claim ownership. Due to this Bjrn is erased from memory and from history. This should happen sooner or later. There is no return be-cause there is nothing to return to. Of all the understandings this was the least spectacular. It was simply a choice. This is the opposite shore, the other side.

As I walked across the hill I experienced that the whole mountain had been trans-ported to heaven. Now I understood what I had read in the Buddhist Sutras. Often in the beginning of the sermons of

17

the Buddha it is said that the place of the preaching, many times Vulture Peak was transported or lifted up to heaven so that heavenly beings would be able to attend.

-Jag sg alla judar som dog i nazi Tysk-land. Alla de som gasades och plgades ihjl. Och jag sg att ingen, inte en enda har lidit.

Nr jag saknar, r det enda jag saknar gud.

Nr jag lngtar, r det enda jag lngtar efter gud.

When I fear, I only fear God.

When I love, I only love God.

Nothing else will ever satisfy me.

Life eternal is eternal life.

Smoke gets into my eyes sitting by the fire all day

There exist only one Person. I saw him stretch across the Universe. One Being with legs and arms just like us. He is the only Person. We are but the reflections of Him just as innumerable scattered pieces of broken glass all reflect the same object.

A puppet on a string believing in his own independence. The puppet Master has his day.

Everybody wants world peace. The Dalai Lama never stops talking about it. If you want it you have to solve it right away. There is no use in planning, making strategies or argue over politics. It must be solved as to what it is, as to what it means. You must make a firm resolve to go to the end of it right now. Not reach-ing the bottom, not solving the issue to-tally is as if you haven't even started. Merely scratching the surface is useless.

It's not about our crises; it's about the cri-ses of the world. Don't focus on your lit-tle crises but focus on the biggest crises that face humanity. Solve them and your little problems will go away.

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Dare to venture out into unknown terri-tory, into the unknown, in order to find out what the truth actually is. This has to be done all the time. Leaving what you know behind, ready to look again. It is an absolute demand.

This will only work if you want it. You have to seek it. In the wanting to know there is the openness to take something new in. It is not difficult.

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Seeing freed from mis-identification one sees the world in its true light, and every-thing is seen as it is. False as false and true as true. All things perfect as they are. Of one taste, of one flavor. All being an expression of THAT which lays be-hind, -the never changing nature. Seeing all in this true perspective one knows how to act in accordance with the chang-ing circumstances. Everything and every-body are revealed by their appearances. Nothing is hidden. All being of one taste, there is nothing to avoid. Seeing freed from belief in separate self-hood reveals a limitless and timeless objective view. In THAT oneself and everything else is seen clearly just as it is. Scrutinizing this view one understands the inherent unre-ality of this world, one understands non-duality and one understands the futility of trying to know with the mind. The mind looses its power and is rightly brought down from its pedestal, to serve instead of rule. This seeing is the goal and the path. There is no other way. Es-tablish yourself in it and avoid the temp-tation to indulge in argumentation. Know it for yourself.

As long as you harbor any ideas, any doubts about the absolute nature of your-self and as long as you cant with ease re-lax into this seeing, that will still ob-struct you to be able to see clearly for more than a short period of time. Any condition that is not seen through will immediately hinder clear perception. Pride, anger, desire etc. if not seen in time will hamper your ability to act ap-propriately. As long as there is any need to keep yourself at arms length, at a safe distance, there havent been a break-through and it will always keep you from true union, true love. Give up the idea of personal ego hood. Realize that there is nothing to protect, nothing to justify. Dare to give up the idea of being special.

Seeing things the way they really are can only be done from the not-known, and ones beautiful ability to respond rests solely on ones knowing of its radiance of love. Love is the power and the glory. Let it shine and transform your life. Stay in touch always with your source, your true nature. Rest your desires in that hole of

Everything Is Self Evident

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nothingness. Let them disappear in the burning light of the absolute. Bring your doubts, thoughts and feelings to that glowing wholeness of your being and see them burn up. When you act, You act. You decide. You have control. You act from the knowing and presence of total awareness, of the divine. Fall back, dive within, go deeper inside. Keep disappear-ing. Go on, move into the source, the hole, the field of nothing-whatsoever. Back to origin. Enter not-knowing and be present from that view, from that per-spective. Now, always, forever more. Let any desire that tempt you to leave that place be burned by the fact of its ulti-mate falseness revealed by its own ap-pearance. Maya is destroyed the moment it appears. You can see Maya appear, see it last, and see it disappear. You see form, you see it change. You see cause and effect, you see distinctions. Any thing seen is Maya. Everything cogniza-ble is Maya. Maya is also all things still unseen. Even an idea is Maya. You are Maya. Being free one is enlightened by all things. Life is shining up its illusion. A spectacle of light and form, a magical dance of light. A mirage, an illusion, a dream. Free to roam around. Free to sport in all various realms, blending with the conditions at hand. Free to ramble wherever at will. Always knowing ones

source, always in touch. A free spirit. Free from form and freely using form. Maya is everything, you are nothing.

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Jesus Christ has set the bar to which we can compare ourselves. If we haven't reached it we can't but humble our-selves. There is no danger to put the bar too high. He died for us. As long as we value our lives before others we will not accomplish anything. Not until we give our lives as Christ did can we be deliv-ered. That is the law. Nobody can stand this ultimatum, it is too much. But it can-not work in any other way. Anything else will only be a fragment of the whole. To reach all, everybody, forever, you have to give everything.

Spring free. There is no sign.

It's a thin line to the comprehensive.

The treasure storehouse needs no inven-tory. Rely on the infinite mass beyond your reach. Let go with both your hands. How desperate trying to affirm yourself through what you got in your hands.

Why base a discussion on false terms? Someone said; "The possibility exist" and there from accepted the possibility that it could be possible. But how far did he go in order to meet that possibility, there and then? That's where the leap comes in.

Wanting to be free is the difference be-tween simplicity and complexity.

How far you are willing to trust the truth? Can you discard your prejudices in times of distress?

The moment it is brought to your atten-tion (either from memory, from another or by incident) is the time to clarify it. Solve it the instant it arises. One word is enough. One raised finger is enough to make you turn around. Have no hidden agenda, no strategy.

Always have your eye set on liberation. Always have your mind set on freedom.

Thougths From The Heart

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Always have your soul set on God. Al-ways have your heart set on truth. Al-ways have your attention set on open-ness. Ready to look again, to be re-minded, to be overthrown. Remember.

There is a time and place for everything. But in the time of freedom there is no time to make distinctions.

No need to know. Final purity.

From nothing comes something. From nothing come original language. Original language has never before been heard. It is ones own. It is new. Anything but that is second hand. It's a phoenix. Rising from the ashes. It has no connection with the past. Something that the uni-verse never before has seen. Therefore creation is not yet exhausted. The uni-verse not yet finished.

Beyond the chain of causation. Inde-pendent arising.

Immanent action. Spring free. There is no sign.

The final shore. The other side. The oppo-site shore. Crossed over. Not knowing "crossing over" before crossing over. There is finality to the other shore, the other side. Standing on the other shore looking back one is glad. I made it.

Triumph. There is work to do.

Infinite freedom of movement. Out of nothing comes something. Something that can have a million shapes: This! This!

Freedom in action. Freedom is only in ac-tion. Freedom can only be proved in ac-tion. Freedom is not a concept.

A laying down of the idea of separate self-hood. There is no individual, no en-tity, no separate selves. There exist no separate life. Non-duality means not two. There is no "my life". There is exis-tence, life, and consciousness. There is only the whole. You don't exist. If you be-lieve it, you separate yourself from life and become unreachable, because you place yourself on an island. The Buddha called it "the conceit of I". A belief in "I"

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places you among the non-believers. The laying down of this idea of a separate self-hood places you among the normal.

Being nobody implies laying down the notion of separate existence. Being no-body implies freedom from self. "Bud-dha nature" signifies no separate exis-tence. Being nobody implies no entity. Being nobody refers to no one. Absence of separate self.

Lay it to rest.

Now can there be still finding out? That innocent interest. The passionate yearn-ing for the impossible.

There can be no point when one is ready to be nobody. There can be no working towards it. As if you are building up strength to be able to let go. Like if you have a refuge at the time of laying down the pretense. Like if it is safe to be no-body.

There is no separate self. So there is no safety for a separate self. Absence of self

is absence of fear. Fear is an illusion cre-ated by the need to stay alive as a sepa-rate entity.

If who you are is always defined by the need to see yourself as separate, you have not escaped the wheel of life and death.

It's a package deal. It's an impersonal one. All carry the same raw material. See it as the human predicament. All partak-ing in the drama. A multi colored display of life.

My pride was a cover up for tremendous fear. I had held myself to be someone. A mask of pretense shielding me from rela-tionships. Reasons for being better than others, when in fact aware of being less then others. Laid bare I lost control.

At the time of reckoning, can you lay down what you rely on? On judgment day can you stand naked? You will be stripped clean. So will you be able to give up what means most to you? Can you lay down God? Can you lay down your self?

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There is, there is not. Positive, negative. Views, convictions. All create propor-tional emotional experiences. As you view life so it appears to you, and so it will respond to you, affirming your view. Your view projects itself outwards, and like in a mirror, is reflected back in pre-cise detail. And you say, -See, I was right!

What does it matter which view is true if the personal doesn't exist? Anything you are holding up fall within the realm of ex-istence and non-existence. Freedom is not about choosing the positive over the negative. Freedom signifies freedom from belief in separate self-hood. Free-dom being all one. Freedom signifies no boundaries, no limits. Freedom means nothing to protect nothing to justify. Freedom from self.

Basing yourself in a fundamental posi-tive attitude towards life will most likely land you in heavenly realms. As the oppo-site will probably drag you through hell. If we are to believe the eastern religions, heaven is not forever, and neither is hell. So is there a middle way to freedom? Can you give up going to heaven? And re-nounce hell? Seeing that taking any kind

of position will land you in its propor-tional effect. So therefore recognize your positions and be free from them.

Falling free you don't have to clutch air.

Put yourself on the line. You are sen-tenced to death. Admit it all, hold noth-ing back. Stark naked in the floodlight. Confess your prejudices. It is all you. This is how you enter.

Only absolute freedom is accepted. I will not settle for anything less.

Beyond the known and the unknown. That perfect place between all opposites. The Gate-less Gate. Non-duality. The Middle Way.

Cannon: The thousand-armed Bodhi-sattva of compassion freely uses all her arms. She manifests the Buddha's state of liberation. This state is impossible to defile.

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Infinite hands, infinite eyes. Infinite ways of expression. By indefinite tactful methods able to explain exactly the truth of the matter to any person listening. Showing the truth fully according to the ways understandable to that person. The truth can be expressed perfectly to any set condition or point of view. By using the living reality of the non-dual. Using freedom as a means as well as a goal. Freedom has to be used as the means if ever the truth will be understood. Any other way of trying to elucidate the goal of freedom can never have any real sig-nificance. If words are needed words are used, if action is needed action is used. Freedom can be shown in every way. There is no restriction to the truth. The significance with understanding the truth is that nothing more needs to be added.

Freedom has no history. Freedom has no past. You cannot learn about freedom from the past.

Within a mountain; a dynamo. Some-times the mountain is seen, sometimes the dynamo. Sometimes both mountain and dynamo are seen. Sometimes nei-ther is seen.

Guard and watch over this treasure.

The Buddha is revealed only to free liv-ing beings. This is the motivation. This is the Bodhi-citta. That is its purpose. The Messiah appears only to save humanity. That is its function. That is his mission. That is our Savior.

Establishment of the Bodhi-citta. Estab-lishment of the will to the supreme. This is the norm. This is the standard. This is the function. This is the criteria. This is its purpose. This is ones motivation, ones intention, ones will. Ones will to the truth. This is taking upon oneself the full responsibility for being a human be-ing. It is everything. Having sole respon-sibility for the welfare of every living be-ing and having sole responsibility for the planet as a whole.

You can save history by taking responsi-bility for our heritage. By taking full re-sponsibility for everything that ever hap-pened you redeem the wrongs and the pains of the past. You in fact redeem the world, and save the dead as well as the living.

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It is not difficult to show the truth, be-cause it is self-evident. You only need to point out the obvious. No need to look for anything. Therefore it is so beautiful. Therefore it is so full of love.

If there is the will to the truth it is al-ready accomplished. All these pointers are only for the ones who have the will to the truth.

Only God is good.

In meditation, don't recreate the future.

The Dharma has no breaks. Seamless it flows on.

Let everything be as it is. Let go.

In the midst of samsara nirvana will be found. Samsara is the fertile ground of Nirvana.

Remembering Baghvan. Is the only thing you need. Only him, only him.

A life in pursuit of the truth. Seeking, finding, pursuing, following -is following the Way.

Walking meditation is following in the footsteps of those who walked before.

Nothing to stick to.

Thinking no thought in a free flow of mind, no breaks in a seamless stream.

No I to cling to. Nothing to stick to they vanish. They slip off immediately. Un-able to stay.

Sri Ram Surat Kumar: "I learn from you!"

Whether you take the leap now or in ten years time it will be the same leap. Noth-ing can prepare you for it.

In the time of freedom.

This is the time of freedom. Being no one. Having achieved no thing.

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Time is real. Freedom is always in time. There is no intermediary. There is no sec-ond hand. Real time is always. There is no going back and forth. Everything al-ways happens in time. You never get a second chance.

Walking with no shadow means that you leave no trace. It means light passes straight through you. Wind passes straight through you. Nothing lands on you because you don't resist. Nothing sticks. There is nothing in the way. Move-ment is natural and free. No effort. Non-resistance.

No horizon behind you. Gone beyond.

At the speed of light no one looks back.

We were walking along the Ganges to the second bridge and as we were just to come upon the junction where the trail meets the paved road we passed three people. A boy laying casually by the root of a tree and two grown-ups talking with each other, one being a Sadhu and the other a layman. At this point the path had come into a small clearing and I was

taken by the blessedness of the scene. The whole area was pervaded by sheer brilliance. My friend didn't seem to no-tice it. This brilliance was coming from the boy, not directly but it was because of him. I just knew it. The boy just didn't do anything. But I caught the Sadhus' eye and I felt that he knew this too and that he was a protege of the boy. My friend and me didn't pause and walked on as nothing had happened and I didn't mention to him my experience. I had felt that I had walked in the presence of God and that, as I walked away, I didn't leave this space.

He is God incarnate, Baghvan himself. Only because now when I remember this meeting I am filled with confidence and with the mystery of God and am beyond this world and its concerns.

Now I only need to remember him and the glory of him is with me. Remember Baghvan. Only him, only him.

Mind is Buddha. This mind of ours is really nothing wrong with, and it's not even limited. Our mind is infinite and contains everything. Thinking is not lim-ited. Thinking is activity of total free-dom. Where is there a limit to your think-ing? Mind is really ungraspable. It is the

28

most mysterious of all the secrets. Mind is Buddha, and you are using mind every day, and you are using Buddha without even knowing it. It has infinite capacity. It has no shape. The only mistake you make is to postulate an "I". This is pure mind. -Not tainted by ignorance.

Real Time. Mind exists within real time. Real time is the arena of mind. Real time is the lifeblood of the Buddha.

Everything is a mystery and everything is within your reach.

I have to go after enlightenment. I must pursue this mysterious secret that keeps me like a blind man, -that leaves me lost and confounded. -That gives me a hint and then vanishes without a trace. It leads me to unknown lands, -to un-charted waters. It beckons me to give up all and seek it out in the extreme. It wants to lure me into foreign lands.

No thought sustains the instantaneous action that is the expression of liberated understanding.

There is no understanding of this that is possible to allude to. Only the courage of action before thought is necessary.

We don't know how it is so, and we can't know if it's true but from experience.

This means leaving all reference. Not knowing, as you once did in the begin-ning.

To rely on that which you have surren-dered to. To trust that power that is be-yond you. Beyond your thinking.

Right action is this action. Right speech is this speech. Right thought is this thought.

Doubt is its enemy. Beware!

It leaves no trace. It has no sign. It makes no marks.

All things are to be understood. Leaving no stone unturned. In order to see

29

through mans thought. In the light of the absolute truth we stand clean, letting nothing stick. But we keep digging be-cause we don't want to be caught. We un-earth, dispel darkness, bring light. There are so many jewels that are scattered, some in the open, some hidden, some for-gotten. They remain for us to distill clear liquid out of them.

In the clear light of understanding wis-dom shines with its invisible presence.

Real time is the lifeblood of the Buddha

Time is the blood and space is the body

The body and blood of Jesus Christ.

As blood runs through the body, time runs through space.

We all share the same experience. One experience in one body.

We are One body, all belonging to each other.

Everything always happens in time.

In real time history becomes an explo-sion in motion. History is the manifesta-tion of God. All time is lit up at once as an exploding fuse wire.

No distance between here and there, be-tween you and me.

Constantly in the now. Your own mind being the Buddha. What the future holds nobody knows.

Realizing what having no relationship to thought means was simple.

I do not need to assume any relationship to anything. It is only a mental connec-tion. It has no real bind. So then it was easy to assume or not to assume a rela-tionship to anything. Having no relation-ship to thought, you're free and inde-pendent.

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Bursts of fire from nowhere. This secret nobody knows. This stands by itself. It relies upon no thing. One Experience, One Body

When I gave my life to you, you gave it straight back to me.

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Beauty

Turn inside out

Flesh exposed and

Nerves laid bare

In our weakness

On our knees

There is tremendous grace

Your innermost love

A Many-Splendored Thing

Spirit filled light,

filters into my chest.

Soft mist unlocks a stony heart.

Not my will but Yours.

This communion is what makes us hu-man.

When my friend came home,

her daughters naturally fell into grace.

The most natural thing for those we love,

while her friends questioned this

and questioned that.

Disbelief is such a grieving matter.

This divine nature is what we share,

when we invite Jesus into our lives.

Gods grace is a place in which we live,

a room where lovers see eye to eye.

Our Joy

In this room

I feel more at home

Seclusive and delusional

I managed to build a cell

Sound proof and insular

Collected Poems

32

Hearing my heart beat

Counting my luck

Joy is welling up

No I wont audition

Can't bear the public vote

Having retired from the common norm

That I may only speak with You

Wind Song

Let my song be a wind song

Let me come over you like sea breeze

Wrap your hair around you

Moving across sand dunes

Up and over hills

Passing over the surface

Waves longing to keep up

I gather speed, move up on high

Stretching the clouds out far and wide

Like long white veils

Making the sun cast fire upon the eve-ning sky

Fire

Long forgotten

Uncertain pieces of memory

Fragments dissolving faster than can be reassembled

History burning up

Closing the gap to now

No time to reminisce

Got to keep ahead

Of the flame closing in from behind

Soon there will be only present

Fire overtaking thought

Mercy

A softness falls over me and my

thoughts flow effortlessly into patterns.

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Gently it all becomes clear:

I have sole responsibility

for the well-being of every living being.

And I have sole responsibility

for the welfare of planet Earth.

This is not a burden,

it is what I had always wanted.

There is so much love in wanting this.

Love for every single being.

So much love for this earth.

All sense of self faded away,

until nothing remained.

History erased, name and person all gone.

White light filled my body and over-flowed.

My body returned to me, resurrected.

My voice was given back to me, unim-peded.

All life was revealed as blessings and spontaneously

words of thanks and praise came.

The ground became my closest ally, my dearest friend.

As my bed or pillow, so close, so near, the earth bore testimony to me.

With a glorified body, resurrected and at one with my father.

This was Holy. A gift of Mercy.

Be longing

Bright sunshine covers both of us,

and as our sisters and brothers join,

their smiles confirms what's in our hearts.

All hoods and veils are down,

cool shades pocketed.

Eyes speak the language of love.

or like..

Stepping into a natural pool,

-careful the water is hot,

slowly sink in to your chin.

Recline back, take a deep breath,

look across.

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Your friend returning your smile.

One experience.

So now can we see that we all share

all of our experiences in the same way.

The same joy, the same pain.

That's why we laugh together,

cry together,

exist together.

A Shout So Loud

There is a scream

Coming from the universe

A shout so loud nobody hears it

It covers every pocket of space

Like freshly fallen snow

Dresses landscapes in the purest of white

It breaks the grip of time

It pierces through space

It courses eternally

It's the beginning and the end

See, I Make All Things New

When you hear these words,

do you hear?

Look, see.

I make all things new.

These words holds belief.

There is faith,

already

in the reading.

There's wonderful mystery to it,

our mind cannot grasp it,

but it resonates in our heart.

See, I make all things new.

I turn water

into wine.

Belief is acknowledging his voice,

in your heart

as you read

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what he told us.

See, I make all things new..

It Stirs

It begins

deep inside

a stir

a gentle breeze

calling me away

early in the morning.

I hear it

like a long lost memory,

soft sound of waves

returning to the sea.

It begins

like a rumor

not yet distinct

like when you sense

someone's at the door.

This gentle calling

catches me unaware

when I settled down for the day

work all done

then it comes again

and makes me share it

with you.

Unforgivable

Deep time shifts layers of self

Whose memories hold no information

Bar its own

Standing in our present time

Like upon a sheet of thin glass dissolving

Our feet falls through

Reaching the very beginning

Of creation itself

How we all stretch from beginning to end

Endlessly now

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Come To The Water

Come to the spring

refresh your soul

listen to its melody

softly it springs to mind

remember

sweet embrace

See its reflection

inside your heart

softly it churns

Scoop a handful

drink

wash your face

cool on hot skin

Come to the water

Spell Bound

Waves like of a tuning fork

Resonates through the body

I relax and let go

Of all my desires

I can feel my toes

Now with intention I expand

Filling the whole universe

With my soul

Breathing in, I close the light of day

Breathing out gently, it all comes alive again

How is this not ordinary?

My eyes turns into constellations

And I loose count

Of how many times you've said

I love you

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Wishing you were here

Brings you closer

My will, I realize

Is a mighty sword

To sweep this night away

Wide Open Plains

There is this declaration

of a wide open field

as far as the eye can see

there is no obstruction

so smooth so plain

the wind has ample space to roam free

the sun covers every inch

not the slightest shadow at noon

the air is fresh

just the best for breathing in.

I stand at its edge

and even as I turn

it follows me around

I look down, I look up

the ground stretches now in all direc-tions.

How wonderful this truth is,

feet firmly planted

and all around,

wide open plains.

Bertil, My Father

My father died.

I lit some candles

to drive out the cold.

February in Sweden,

in the morgue.

I spoke words of fare well,

don't worry about us

we're ok

please forgive me

I love you dad

be on your way.

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At home with mom,

snowfall in the street lights.

I tell her

he's here.

She looks up and nods,

that is what we feel.

Inside filling up.

Grief is but

loves release.

A Shared Passion

I'm living in a world that has yet to come into existence.

The only way to make it real is to bring you into it.

I can glorify it, rave about it, but without your help it won't come into being.

It's like... I want to light a fuse wire, set off an avalanche.

Open Arms

Let go with both your hands.

Rely on the infinite mass just beyond your reach.

The treasure storehouse needs no inven-tory.

How futile trying to define ourselves,

from what we hold in our hands.

I Have One Desire

As you rise

I want to rise with you

When you speak

I want to be your tongue

As you listen

I overhear

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You find it funny

like an echo

Being one in this relationship before we were two.

Like twins

one thinking, the other speaking.

No but I...

on it goes till we lost sight

of who's who.

Blessed union, too wonderful to compre-hend.

When you lie down

I will sit on your bed

Waiting till you get up again

mimicking your every move.

It almost annoys you

but you find yourself lifted

by strong arms

knowing your every move

You take a chance,

handing over your will.

We hold our breath..

I don't know how you caught up with me.

Never thought you find me on this little planet.

Long time in the coming

but better late then never

You rushed in

and I was born a second time.

Wrestling with my new inheritance

it turns into play

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Go on friend,

I won't stand in your way

no more.

Communion

We walk backwards

Till we enter into union

It's already here

Waiting to be possessed

Through our language

Our common tongue

One body, not two

One mind

Not mine, not yours

Silent Within

When we fall quiet

Silent within

When we become still

Motionless

This room

Has not limits

In it our intelligence rests

And our knowing merges

So when we rise

And lay eyes on each other

You become my brother

Nay, even closer, my other

41

Revelation And Natural Freedom

Torbjrn Sw 2015

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