Filculture Marriage

7/24/2019 Filculture Marriage

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General overview[edit]

Often, a Filipino malesuitor expresses his interest to a woman in a discreet and friendly manner in

order to avoid being perceived as very "presumptuous or aggressive" or arrogant. [2]ulturally,

another gentlemanly way of see!ing the attention of a woman is not to be done by the admirer by

approaching her in the street to casually as! for her address or telephone number.[]#lthough having

a series of friendly datesis the normal starting point in theFilipino wayof courting, this may also

begin through the process of "teasing", a process of "pairing off" a potential teenage or adult couple.

$he teasingis done by peers or friends of the couple being matched. $he teasing practice assists in

discerning the actual feelings of the male and the female involved. $raditionally, a Filipino womanis

"shy and secretive" about her feelings for a suitor. On the other hand, theFilipinoman fears re%ection

by a woman and would li!e to avoid losing face and embarrassment. $his teasing phase actually

helps in circumventing such an embarrassing predicament because formal courtship has not yet

officially started. Furthermore, this "testing phase" also helps a man who could be "torpe", a Filipino

termfor a suitor who is shy, "stupid", and feels cowardly, and is innocent and na&ve in how to court a

woman. 'owever, this type of admirer could overcome his shyness and naivety by as!ing for the

help of a "tulay" (Filipino for ")ridge", whose role is similar to that of the *ingmanin *estern

ultures+, typically a mutual friend of both the suitor and the admired, or a close friend of both

families.[2][]$he "human bridge" acts as the suitors communicator.[2]$hrough this "human-bridge",

the bachelor can also as! permission to visit the woman at home from the bachelorettes father. #s a

norm, the couple will not be left alone with each other during this first home visit, because formal

introductions to family members are done, which may be performed by the "tulay". nformal

conversation also ta!es place.[]

/uring this preliminary evaluation period, the Filipino woman will either deny her feelings (or the

absence of feelings for the suitor+ and avoids her admirer, or does notbecome angry because of the

teasing and encourages the suitor instead. $he suitor stops the courtship if he is 0uite sure that the

woman does not reciprocate. )ut once the female encourages the suitor to continue, the "teasing

stage" comes to a close and a "serious stage" of 1hilippine courtship begins. t is within this stage

where the couple engages in a series of group dates, chaperoned dates,[]or private dates.[]$he

couple later on decides to come out into the open and reveals the status of their relationship to

family members, relatives, and friends. $he serious suitor or boyfriendvisits the family of the woman

he admires3courts or girlfriendin order to formally introduce himself, particularly to the ladys parents.

)ringing gifts orpasalubong[](which may include flowers, with cards, or letters, and the li!e+ is also

typical. ourting a woman in the 1hilippines is described as a courtship that also includes courting

the womans family.[4][5]$he actual boyfriend-girlfriend relationship may also result from such formal

visits. n the past, particularly in a rural courtship setting, a Filipino man, accompanied by friends,
https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Courtship_in_the_Philippines&action=edit&section=1https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_malehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_malehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-CPC-2https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Datinghttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_wayhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_wayhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_wayhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_womanhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_peoplehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_languagehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_languagehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wingmanhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wingmanhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-CPC-2https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-CPC-2https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-CPC-2https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-CPC-2https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaperone_(social)https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-ADZ-1https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-ADZ-1https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boyfriendhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boyfriendhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Girlfriendhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pasalubonghttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pasalubonghttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-AC-5https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-LIP-6https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_malehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-CPC-2https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Datinghttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_wayhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_womanhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_peoplehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_languagehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_languagehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wingmanhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-CPC-2https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-CPC-2https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaperone_(social)https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-ADZ-1https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boyfriendhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Girlfriendhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pasalubonghttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-AC-5https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-LIP-6https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Courtship_in_the_Philippines&action=edit&section=1


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would engage inserenadingthe woman he adores at night. $his serenading practice was an

influence adopted by the Filipinos from the 6paniards.[2]

/uring the courtship process, a traditional Filipina is expected to play "hard to get", to act as if not

interested, to be not flirty, and show utmost restraint, modesty, shyness, good upbringing, be well-

mannered, demure, and reserved despite having great feelings for her admirer7 [][]a behavior

culturally considered appropriate while being courted. $his behavior serves as a tool in measuring

the admirers sincerity and seriousness. $he woman can also have as many suitors, from which she

could choose the man that she finally would want to date. /ating couples are expected to be

conservative and not perform public displays of affection for each other. $raditionally, some courtship

may last a number of years before the Filipino woman accepts her suitor as a boyfriend. [][2]

[8]onservativeness, together with repressing emotions and affection, was inherited by the Filipino

woman from the colonial period under the 6paniards, a characteristic referred to as the Maria

Claraattitude.[8]

#fter the girlfriend-boyfriend stage, engagement, and marriage follows. *ith regards to the

engagement and pre-marriage stages, Filipino tradition dictates that the man and his parents

perform thepamamanhikan[]orpamanhikan[5](literally, a $agalog wordthat means "to go up the

stairs of the house" of the girlfriend and her parents7pamamanhikanis !nown as tampaor danonto

thelocanos, aspasagulito the 1alawe9os, and as kapamalaito the:aranaos[5]+. $his is where and

when the man and his parents formally as! the ladys hand []and blessings from her parents in order

to marry. $his is when the formal introduction of the mans parents and womans parents happens.

#part from presents, the ebuano version of thepamamanhikanincludes bringing in musicians.

[5]#fter setting the date of the wedding and the dowry,[]the couple is considered officially engaged.

[2]$he dowry, as a norm in the 1hilippines, is provided by the groom;s family.[]For the Filipino people,

marriage is a union of two families, not %ust of two persons. $herefore, marrying well "enhances the

good name" of both families. [8]

Other courtship practices[edit]Tagalog and Ilocos regions[edit]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenadinghttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenadinghttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenadinghttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Philippines_(1521%E2%80%931898)https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-CPC-2https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-CPC-2https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flirtinghttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-ADZ-1https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-ADZ-1https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-ADZ-1https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-CPC-2https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-3https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-3https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-LIP-6https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tagalog_languagehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tagalog_languagehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ilocanoshttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ilocanoshttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palawe%C3%B1oshttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maranaohttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maranaohttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maranaohttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-LIP-6https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_and_wedding_customs_in_the_Philippineshttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-LIP-6https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-CPC-2https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-3https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Courtship_in_the_Philippines&action=edit&section=2https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Courtship_in_the_Philippines&action=edit&section=2https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Courtship_in_the_Philippines&action=edit&section=3https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenadinghttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Philippines_(1521%E2%80%931898)https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-CPC-2https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flirtinghttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-ADZ-1https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-ADZ-1https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-CPC-2https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-3https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-3https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-LIP-6https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tagalog_languagehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ilocanoshttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palawe%C3%B1oshttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maranaohttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-LIP-6https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_and_wedding_customs_in_the_Philippineshttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-LIP-6https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-CPC-2https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-4https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-3https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Courtship_in_the_Philippines&action=edit&section=2https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Courtship_in_the_Philippines&action=edit&section=3


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# $agalog couple as depicted in the Boxer Codexof the 5th century.

# depiction of amestiu


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n the province of)ulacaninentral >uu


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*hen courting, the ebuanosalso resort to serenading, which is !nown locally as balak. $hey also

write love letters that are sent via a trusted friend or a relative of the courted woman. 1resents are

not only given to the woman being courted, but also to her relatives. 6imilar to the practice in the

1angasinan region, as mentioned above, the ebuanos also use love potions to win the affection of

the Filipino woman.[8]

1eople from>eyteperforms thepangagad[5]orpaninilbihanor "servitude",[]instead of paying a form

of dowry[5]during the courtship period. n this form of courting, the Filipino suitor accomplishes

household and farm chores for the family of the Filipino woman. $he service normally lasts for

approximately a year before the man and woman can get married. [8]$he $agalogs of >uuu


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$he )agobos, on the other hand, sends a !nife or a spear as a gift to the home of the courted

woman for inspection. #ccepting the weapon is e0uivalent to accepting the Filipino man;s romantic

intention and advances.[8]

1re-arranged marriagesand betrothalsare common to Filipino :uslims. $hese formal engagements

are arranged by the parents of men and the women. $his also involves discussions regarding the

price and the form of the dowry.[8]$he $ausog people proclaims that a wedding, a celebration or

announcement !nown as thepangalay, will occur by playing percussive musical instruments such as

thegabbang, the kulintang, and the agong. $he wedding is officiated by anmam. Deadings from

theEuranis a part of the ceremony, as well as the placement of the grooms fingerprintover the

bridesforehead.[5]

19th-century Hispanic Philippines[edit]

/uring the =th century in 6panish 1hilippines, there was a set ofbody languageexpressed by

courted women to communicate with their suitors. $hese are non-verbal cues which#mbeth

Ocamporeferred to as "fanlanguage". $hese are called as such because the woman conveys her

messages through silent movements that involve a hand-held fan. xamples of such speechless

communication are as followsG a courted woman covering half of her face would li!e her suitor to

follow her7 counting the ribs of the folding fan sends out a message that the lady would li!e to have a

conversation with her admirer7 holding the fan using the right hand would mean the woman is willing

to have a boyfriend, while carrying the fan with the left hand signifies that she already has a lover

and thus no longer available7 fanning vigorously symboli


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Other than the so-called modern Filipino courtship through texting and social media, theres another

modern style thats not widely discussed in public discourseG its methods from the pic!up artist

(1H#+ community as described by Ieil 6traussin his boo! The Game: Penetrating the Secret

Society o Pickup !rtists.$here are a few companies such J #rtsand)eyond 1ic!upthat offer

dating advice and coaching based on these teachings. 'owever, it remains to be seen whetherthese methods will reach a critical mass and penetrate the consciousness of many Filipinos since

these methods flout the traditional and religious values of many Filipinos. [K]

See also[edit]

$ampo

6umpong

:arriage and wedding customs in the 1hilippines

6exuality in the 1hilippines

References[edit]

. L Mump up toGabcde"ilipino Courtship Customs # $o% to court a "ilipina, asiandating


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"ilipino Couples8 Traits are Tied to Spousal !greement on Pregnancy )antedness, /igest,

guttmacher.org
http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/journals/3004904a.htmlhttp://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/journals/3004904a.html

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Filculture Marriage