FESTIVAL EDITION

FROM THE HORSES MOUTHLet’s face it; we might be hardcore gamers that brag about our K/D rate and tactics on BC2 and other first person shoot-em-ups. But our hearts are as soft as our desk chairs when it comes to cuddly soft toys. Now this new game (unfortunately only for consoles) will warm your heart if you are a real BlowUpDoll. As sick and demented as it may seem, you can help by letting out a girlish “aaaaaw”.

In Naughty Bear, players take on the role of Naughty Bear, a bear driven to seek vengeance after the other bears don't invite him to the big birthday party. Scorned for the last time, Naughty Bear becomes hell bent on manipulating and terrorizing the blissful bears inhabiting the Island of Perfection. As Naughty Bear, players will wreak havoc on every stuffing-filled foe that crosses their path. Featuring an array of weapons, objects and scare tactics, gamers strive to earn Naughty Points as they inflict physical and psychological harm on Naughty Bear's enemies. This all-new scare-based points system means players will win the most rewards for being deviant and maniacal. The variety allows for a completely new experience every time players pick up a controller and the ill-fated bears become more difficult to harass and terrorize as the game progresses. Naughty Bear features more than 30 levels to unlock, with unique characteristics and weaponry encountered at every stage. Gamers can search the game world and collect all the hidden party items locked away by the other bears.

The car was finally packed, tents, ‘padkos’, the works, so we hit the road towards the 2010 KKnK, adventure was in the air...no that was a fart from Piskriek :SAfter a relatively uneventful journey which Murloc did not exceed 120km/ph (yeah right) we arrived at our camping grounds. All the humans were pitching up their tents and making their way towards the pool. At the pool, well basically anyplace I go I was the star attraction, and the ladies were going BONKERS! The evening we went to the Prime Circle concert, where I met the band and did some crazies with the ladies...heehaw. The next day was pretty uneventful as we strolled through the festival (which was a total let down this year, think the Blowupdolls will be venturing towards other festivals).

TNTEDDY’s ADVENTURES

The following day we took the road towards the Cango caves, what an amazing experience, and what a sight to see the humans squeezing their way through the narrowing caves, off course I got to see some skirt again J as Peetie carried me through the Chimney. Alas the day ran out and we had to make our way to the camping site again, excited about tomorrow’s plans.The sun makes its way into the sky, and we make our way towards the Crocodile Farm...yippee...What a place, you start off with a guided tour which takes you through the crocodile park and the cat park, where they took me down to meet the brothers, see photos if you don’t believe me. I can recommend this crocodile park to everyone, after all the renovations it is an amazing place to visit.

All and All a fun vacation, which probably sounds lame in this biography, but will live on in our memories for a long time!

Teddy Out!

On the 2nd of April at 5am the Cape Town BUD’s all met at the Engen Garage on the N1 just outside of Cape Town dressed in our brand new BUD KKNK shirts. After fuelling the BUD Mobiles, we started the 400km journey to Oudtshoorn. As by tradition, we stopped at Ronnie Sex Shop to stretch our legs and enjoy an ice cold beer. After we had our allowed quota of refreshments, the race was on. With the Chazz Jazz Michaels (driven by Murloc) and the Astra-Nomical (driven by Troepster) racing at 130km/h to claim the overrated honour of being first on Oudtshoorn., while the rest of us just cruised and enjoyed the scenery of the Klein-Karoo. 

We arrived in Oudtshoorn at about 11:30am, after settling the camping arrangements; we were off to the conveniently located pub to celebrate our safe arrival. But somehow we just kept on celebrating and celebrating. We even met up with Poelplonser and his family. Soon it was 7pm and with some BUD’s (me) already passed out, the BUD decided to go to the Prime Circle concert in town. According to those who were sober enough to attend (and remember) the star of the evening was not Prime Circle, but TNTeddy we picked up more chicks than a Ryk Neethling Buffet. 

The Saturday started slow, with coffee, rusks, painkillers and energy drinks. From here we all split up into smaller packs, and explored the Festival Grounds. All around the Main Ground, the festival seemed pretty boring. Amateur sideshows, DeJaVu stalls selling the same stupid crap just in different colours and some wacky Dooms Day Prophet protesting against the Evil of the Festival. But inside the Main Ground, if you dare pay the ridicules entrance fee, you can enjoy better food, better stalls and even better entertainment.Overall the KKNK was n big letdown this year, compared to previous years. 

KKNK AND MOSSELBAAI

Nevertheless the BUDs didn’t restrict themselves to the raging ant’s nest of the KKNK. On Sunday we drove north to the legendary Cango Caves. This was truly an amazing trip. We decided to all take the adventure option were we had to crawl though narrow, damp niches. Even TNTeddy proved there he wasn’t scared of the dark caverns of Cango.The Monday morning we visited the Congo Wildlife Ranch. This recently renovated wild life park featured amazing animals like Bengal Tigers, Cheetahs, White Tiger, White Lions and Crocodiles. This was epic thrill and even TNTeddy got the honour of snuggling up with some of the big cats.

Afterwards we travelled south towards Mosselbaai were we spend four nights at the Godfather’s place on a smallholding. We spend the time playing board games, fishing, braaing, en just relaxing after a hectic 3 days ok KKNK. Troepster discovered that fishing was not as much fun as knifing. I caught a dead baby seal, Spooner and Piskriek caught their fair share of useless fish. During this time we discovered the awesomeness of Monopoly 3D, where Piskriek proved himself a dangerous business man. Willing to buy a $5million property for over $35million proved fatal. But at least we decided to stick to rules before Scordor pointed out the corruption in our tactics. This after Troepster spend 3hours studying and explaining the rules.

I would like to thank Troepster and Troepsdruk for their hospitality and labour to organise this epic event.

REPORTING FOR DUTY

· What is your real names, for those who don’t know? Arno Louis le Grand

· Is there any special meaning or story behind your Nic? Yes, it’s supposed to represent the art of being able to infiltrate and destroy the enemy from the inside, doing extensive damage before they realize something abysmal has gone wrong. This does not only apply to FPS games.

· Where do you live? I keep my options open. At any given time there are 3 different places I can call home. Currently I spend most of my time after work in Centurion, Pretoria, Gauteng, South-Africa, World. As soon as registration is finished, my permanent residential area will be Centurion.

· Are you married, engaged, attached? Exclusive friends with benefits.

· What do you do in real life to support your gaming addiction? I’m an Analyst Programmer. The Dr. House of Code for my company.

· How did your gaming start?. I’ve been playing NEC games since my hands were big enough for the controllers . Our first computer had a black and yellow screen where I spent a lot of days mastering the likes of Janitor Joe, Digger, Striker, Black Jack and various other Student Project Games.My first 3D experience was with Duke Nukem where I spent most of my time in the little booths behind the cinema (the first stage). My online gaming started at around 2003/4 when a friend/colleague at work introduced me to Battlefield 2142.

· Do you have a historic favorite game? Mario Bros.

· What is your favorite game at the moment? Project Gotham Racing on the XBOXORZ. It’s the most bestest game to play after a braai and a few kappe, straight! Also it keeps us off the streets at 02:00

· Do you have a preference for certain game genres? Racing Games makes my bones jingle. Online FPS is a very close second.

· Do you have a gaming motto? Full blast, all the time! You can rest while the next map loads.

· What was the funniest thing that ever happened to you while gaming? Putting VOIP on Friday evenings after a few beers in any game. 

· Do you have a favourite TK victim? Mieliemoster (when he was still a bud), hands down. Gotta love hearing him scream your name at Rage when you TK him for the 20th time in a round.

· Who is your alter-ego and why? [awl-ter ee-goh] al·ter e·go –noun1. a perfect substitute or deputy: His adviser acts as his alter ego during his absenceMy younger brother.

· In a past life you were ...  Harre Krishna

· Besides gaming, what do you consider to be your favourite past time? Making braai time and drinking quarts with strangers on the street wearing clothes that will confuse people about how much money you have.

· Who in the BUD clan do you look up to as a mentor and why? []=BUD MikeHunt

· Final question, what does "Wop-Dog" mean to you?Wop : An epithet used for those of Italian descent. WOP stands for With Out Papers. Many Italian immigrants had no papers to identify themselves and were branded as WOPs.Dog : Not a cat. Wop-Dog: Anything that is not a cat that doesn’t have papers and originates from Italy.

BUD CYST

Since BFBC2 came out we saw an influx of new and old recruits… we saw the return of legends like Legend and HAWKvr and rockstars like Terrormoso who last graced our website in BF2142 days , even the godfathers old mate Surreal returned for some action. But the new Fresh meat consists of Malachite , a friend of the dangerous duo Piskriek and Rumcan from Ghowteng and GreenPantNinja (GPN)with his awesome Astra OPC gaining the title of dude with Ossumest zooped up car since Murloc and Quiky’s Hondas got sold in the clan, Troep takes a close second place with his little yellow and black go-cart, smart car. Also GPN is a mate of Frequency from the Crak years and want to make him feel as fantastic as possible here in our clan…

GreenPantNinja Joined our Humble little clan a bit after Malachite and was a welcome addition to our humble clan, he also ripped out the lyric books and came up with his own song. Its so long that we decide to release it to local record company to present it to Jack Parow.

GPN is the short Porra looking Dude in the middle being embraced by the man friendly Quiky… Why Freq and Peetie have to always Photo bomb in the back ground only they will know… given if there was a black background behind freq you would most prolly only see a floating head… We welcome all new Bud members and wish you all a happy party time here with us the Blowupdolls.

Malachite wrote us an original song : Rising, sent back on the streetDo my tour, take my chancesFire the distance, 166 headshot with no cheatJust a sniper and his sensor to survive

So many times, rush is too fast You change sides for glory Don't lose your grip on the trigger of AWESOME You must devib just to keep your squad alive

Chorus: I’m the eye of the sniper, I’m the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our conquest And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night And I’m watchin' you all as the eye of the sniper

Medic to Medic, out in the heat Healin' tough, stayin' healthy They stack the odds 'til we take to the street For we kill with the skill to survive

chorus

Risin' up, straight to the top Have the guns, got the ammoWent the distance, now I'm not gonna stop Just a squad and their will to survive

Chorus The eye of the sniper (repeats out)...

GAME REVIEW – SPLINTER CELL CONVICTION

Left: Here is Malachite with Girr’s sister behind the Wimpy.

Right: Malachite also stuck up TNTeddy on a road sign somewhere in Gauteng.

Below: GreenPantNinja with some of WP Netball Buds

WELCOME NOOBS

This season started off with a reshuffling of teams after successes in last seasons finals where the Blowupdoll action netball franchise took gold , silver and bronze medals over all leagues.  

The restructuring of the teams meant that we had to drop down a couple and bump up a few teams so that the calibre of players and teams corresponded with the leagues they were placed in.  We saw the return of the prodigal son Drifter returning to the courts just to bust up his leg again in his second match.  

The Blowupdolls team moved down from Mix League 1 to Mix league two competing with tough opponents like the WP mix B team that entered on this same level, this gives you an idea of how difficult the MIX 1 league is…  Also in this league is the Afstandhoenders that moved up a league from Mix 3. Both teams have played 7 matches and won only 3 by the time this article was written, big cause of this, is that Drifter busted his shit up and made a big difference in the Afstandhoender team on defence. 

Mix league 3 only has one BUD team this season and that is the Wolbommers, with a win loss ratio of 7-4 they are still in contention for the top of the log spot, but have some very difficult opponents in their league too. 

Action NETBAL

Mix League 4 has a new team in the bud arsenal, “the Grease Apies” that also consisted of Drifter on Goal shooter but because he mangled his leg so bad that he is unable to take a peepee without sitting the team performed rather well under circumstances and are currently top of their league log with 7-5. The valiant Spooner defender of Portuguese virginity  stepped in to replace the Giant grasshopper Drifter and is a welcome addition to the team. Drifter we miss you guy…  xoxo 

Mix League 5 sees the return of the TnTeddies and Medichasie teams, and at the moment after 7 games the TnTeddies are top of the log winning 6 of their matches, the medichasie team a little bit farther back with 3 wins are backing up the teddies in this very competitive league. 

5 of our BUDs, Erazor, Murloc , Frequency43, Quiksilver and Peetie are on their way to represent western province in the Inter Provincial Tournament from the 24th -30th of may.Frequency43 & Erazor– WP MIX APeetie  - WP MIX BMurloc & Quiky – WP Mens 

We wish them the best of luck and hope they bring back the gold in all leagues. Remember to take your Blowupdoll shirts with, so we can represent next to the courts between games.Bud Out 

ACTION CRICKETThis season we started our own Action Cricket team - The Boeppens Ninja’s. We have 3 BUD (myself, Piskriek and Rumcan) members in the team and Murloc also helped out a couple of times. We started the season in the D2 League. From the first match we could see that it’s going to be hard to win a game, most of us haven’t played action cricket before.

We struggled in the first 3 games with heavy defeats. After that we moved down to the D4 League. There the games got easier and there we started to find our form. We lost a couple of close games that could have gone either way. The team is also started to set in well and the batting partners are also started to play better together. At the moment our biggest problem is our fielding, too much slipups happen.The last game that we played was in the Prelims, the lost that game and are out of the Semis. I am Proud of my players for sticking to the game through the league even if we lost a lot of games.Best Batsman through the season was Malan and NicholasBest Bowler through the season was Piskriek and I.

Hope to see more supporters from the BUDs throughout next season.

Battlefield Badcompany2 was launched about 3 months ago. I - Quiky and Sousie have committed ourselves to take leadership of this game. BUD’s have decided to come out of hibernation and join the competitive community in Badcompany2. We as a clan decided we need a name that best describes us and suites us well… then name we came up with is []=BUD Legion. []=BUD Legion have started their War path against FFL. This was a friendly to see what they are made of. We lost that match against FFL…Sousie being such a diplomat was all cool and calm about this match seeing that this was our first match, myself on the other hand did not take that loss to kindly. Rounded up the troops, gave them a good pep talk and off we went on our journey to the do Gaming league. Our first clannie was against 69th. What a match, we fought and we fought hard, we left none standing in our way… this is the 1st match we won. Everyone was ecstatic seeing that the loss against FFL still haunted us. We went back to FFL and challenged them for another friendly; this was the preparation match we would have against Borg. We finished the match wiping the floor with them. []=BUD Legion felt good about the win and the revenge. Myself and Sousie were sure of a win against Borg, then we received the bad news that they withdraw against us. That was a really big blow for []=BUD Legion seeing that they thought they were pretty evenly matched up.Blood lust was running high within the guys, our next match was against team iG. They are known for their unfair play. We were practicing hard, if we go down, we go down fighting. We fought hard; unfortunately we could not claim a win. iG told us that we were their toughest battle yet. We have given them shivers on their bones. Morale was a bit down in the camp. Our next match would be against Kai, no one had any intell on them, that was a bit concerning for us. So, Sousie and I looked around for help, we found eAs who wanted a Friendly clannie, we were more than happy to take them on. We lost against eAs, however it taught us as a team a great lesson and we learned a lot. The match against Kai game, []=BUD went out to slaughter their enemy. We won that game against Kai. Morale was up again. Myself and Sousie saw that it a good idea to have practice clannies against titans to help us prepare for our matchup in our league. We then saw we are playing the Grrr Squad, we now them of previous encounters in different universes. That is a team not to underestimate. Sousie and I went out again looking for a team to practice against. HF answered to the call. We drew against HF, again us as a team felled we have done very well. Match against Grrr Squad was an epic battle. We won the first round and we won it well. Stress was immediately of our shoulders, we went into the second round, we lost it because to of our team mates fell in the action (got disconnected). We were now playing 7 vs 8. We lost that second round with a small margin of 15 tickets. We were all stoked of the draw against Grrr Squad.Competition is coming to a close with only 2 matches left, we felt confident we could beat the remaining 2 teams as well. We then faced the DAC squad, they have a reputation of breaking bones, we weren’t scared of a few broken bones…. We went out to find the BFB clan to play our weekly training against. They ripped us a new one. But we weren’t scared seeing that we learned a lot. The big Match day came, we are to face DAC. Not quite sure what they would bring we stuck to our plan. Our plan worked like a charm. We have dominated DAC in every aspect of the way. We crushed their skulls in, we rattled their bones, we won this match… Our confidence was though the roof, the only clan that stood in our way was SSG. This was a pick and play stage, the game admins chose Laguna Presa for us, we all smiled because that is the same arena we faced the Grrr Squad. There was a little stress about us because we had to win them to reach our goal. We went into the arena and we dominated the 1st round, same goes for the 2nd round. Another one bites the dust, we stand victorious over SSG.

This journey took us to 7 battles, we won 5 battles, draw 1 and lost 1. Overall we are Second in our pool. 69TH BATTALION -=69TH=- MERCENARIES - LAGUNA ALTA - WIN 2 - 0BORG ..LEGENDS - WHITE PASS - WIN 2 - 0 (FORFEIT)ILLUSION GAMING IG| ILLUSION - ATACAMA DESERT LOSS 0 - 2I LOVE KAI COMPANY - ARICA HARBOUR - WIN 2 - 0GRRR SQUAD [GRRR]DANGLERS - LAGUNA PRESA - DRAW 1 - 1DEADLY ALLIANCE CLAN =DAC=CRUSADERS - PANAMA CANAL - WIN 2 - 0SUPER SERIAL GAMERS +SSG+RAVENS - LAGUNA PRESA - WIN 2 - 0 In the next leg we will be facing the Giants in the Premier League. The Team members who represent []=BUD Legion:QuikyRSA, Afstandhoender, Razak, MurlocSouswurm, Peetie, Troep, Rumcan ReserveFrequency43 We have also started a 2nd Team called []=BUD Legacy. They will want to follow in the footsteps of []=BUD Legion.

Most Tom Clancy games are stuffed with so much jingoism they practically play “My Country tis' of thee” when you open the box, portraying either Russians, Arabs, or Mexicans as evil, godless heathens who hate freedom and want to eat our babies. The Splinter Cell series (being black-ops games) shows the seedier side of how America handles more delicate situations without all that stars and stripes bullshit... mostly. Conviction, on the other hand, actually makes America out to be the bad guy which makes me wonder if Tom Clancy is going to beat the developers at Ubisoft to death with his over-sized sunglasses for sullying Old Glory the way they did.

The other issue with SCC is that the main story is really short (only about five hours), however there's also a great co-op story mode that is actually a prequel, and denied-ops (both can be played local or online) that will bring hours and hours of stealth action long after Sam's story is over. Plus there are in-game challenges to appease the more obsessive players (like taking out 10 guards without being spotted, beating a level without firing your weapon, and so on) and completing some of them will certainly keep you busy.

GAME REVIEW – SPLINTER CELL CONVICTION

Even though the main story is short, it doesn't feel like anything's missing. While it's not the best game in the world, SCC is arguably the best in the series. Better sneaking mechanic, one of the best cover systems ever, and pacing on a level unlike anything you've experienced in a stealth game, all while keeping it accessible to new players. It's time to go rogue.

The story picks up some time after Double Agent (that's ok, I didn't finish it either) and Sam has left Third Echelon and has gone on “walkabout” after a series of events befall him that are so unfortunate you wouldn't wish them on Hitler. The game quickly brings new players up to speed on Sam and the state of the world making SCC very accessible to anyone who's new to the series.Splinter Cell has always been known for its stealth gameplay and Conviction is no exception. While it doesn't do anything to reinvent the genre, the retooled cover system and more action driven story have definitely breathed new life into the series.

The pacing in SCC is some of the best I've seen in any game and this is helped by displaying tutorials and objectives on environments and the only load screens you see are when you start the game and when you die.Stealthing is easier more fluid than ever. When you're hidden, the color fades away and comes back whenever you're visible. Staying hidden has never been this intuitive. The cover system is also re-tooled so staying in cover, moving from cover to cover is simplified and more easy to use than ever.

Previous games had Sam skulking in the shadows, avoiding detection like a pussy, but Conviction sort of flips that script and has you hunting people rather than avoiding them. In fact, being spotted isn't game over anymore and you can actually use it to your advantage. One of the new features in Conviction is the “last known position” where once you've been spotted, a silhouette will appear where you were last seen and enemies will be drawn to that location, giving you a chance to out-flank them or just sneak away while they look for you.One of the coolest new features in SCC is Mark and Execute. With M&E you can “mark” multiple targets with one of the bumpers and and then hit Y to take them all out at once. This lets you take down several targets with minimal fuss, and, as a bonus, it really just looks fucking sweet. You have to earn execute points by taking out enemies with hand-to-hand take downs. Execute points don't stack, meaning once you're meter is full, anymore awesome take downs you do are fruitless. Sweet as fuck, still, but ultimately fruitless.

There are really only two major drawbacks to SCC and this biggest one is the Iraq level. About a third of the way into the game you play through a flashback level where Sam and his buddy were serving in Iraq. All the stealth is taken out and all you do is run down a bombed-out highway killing Iraqi soldiers (and really, what Tom Clancy game is complete without that?). It fits with the story, but after hours of sneaking up on someone and killing their friends while you use them as a human shield only to then have to shift gears and play a more gun-and-run style of game breaks up the flow. Thankfully this is the shortest level in the game so it's not too bad.

RATING: 95/100

Before today I hadn’t actually played Metro 2033 but only heard of it through suppliers stock sheets. I needed to find a game to do a review on so I quickly went through my extensive games folder and had a look to see what my options were. I found Metro 2033 which I had recently acquired from a LAN and quickly installed it (remove this sentence if pirated games is not your thing).

First Impressions after installing it was that I needed the latest direct x 11 drivers but fortunately the game comes with all the necessary setups. Once I was in game I was very impressed by the levels of detail. It seems like the new Wolfenstein engine was used here and it gave the game a very awesome and modern feel. Unfortunately I don’t have a Direct X 11 card (9800gtx) so I was left with the options of playing it on either Direct X 9 or 10. For best results use a Direct X 11 card and I’m sure you will be even more satisfied with the game graphics. Gameplay was straight and simple, regular FPS controls, and an on the fly guide to controls for the uber noobs.

GAME REVIEW – Metro 2033

The story of the game apparently comes from a Russian novel, which explains why the game is set in that continent. But as we all know Russians accents are pretty hardcore so no worries there. If shooting weird alien creatures is not your thing then you will hate Metro 2033, there are lots of scary mutants to shoot and I can imagine game play being enhanced if played in the dark with headphones on. I have to say I really like the look and feel of this game; it reminds me of Wolfenstein and Doom, both of which were very fun in their day. As for Metro 2033, I can see myself playing to the end and burning some serious game time on it.

The part that most people will hate about this game (myself included) is the fact that it does not have a multiplayer function. Sorry guys but apparently their intentions when making this game was to focus on the story line and get people more excited about playing a single player FPS.

RATING: 80/100

SCRAP BOX