February Amazing Women Magazine

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Letter from the Publisher

Love is in the air! Every day of the year but especially in February! This month’s edition brings you some wonderful love stories as well as our usual articles to make your days a bit brighter and more productive. Our cover couple, newlyweds Beverly and Michael Winlock, share their special day with you. Proving it’s never too late to find your true love. Some-thing I personally can attest to in having just cele-brated my own first anniversary with Khaliq. So if you are young or old, I’m sure you will enjoy this month’s edition. Remember to lead with love and you will find your life a much easier journey.

Raven

RAVEN BLAIR GLOVER

Publisher

Powered by Raven International

Media Productions

Producer and Founder of

Amazing Women of Power,

positive programming radio network

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February 2016

AMAZING MEN

EMPOWERMENT

LIFESTYLE

BUSINESS


MAGAZINE STAFF

Published by Raven Blair Glover, Raven Intl. Media Productions

Editor-In-Chief, Creative Director Peggy Knudson

Forgiveness, Flowers and Candy for Valentines. 29 Mary Smith-Moore

Coaches to Watch in 2016 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Nanci Adair

Life, Biz Are You Making Self-Care a Priority . . . 18 Michele Pariza Wacek

What Is Your Vision—What is Your Mission? . . 20 Claudia Cooley

What Is Your Product—Really? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Christina L. Suter

Your Love Relationship is Easier Than You Thought . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48 Dr. Fred (DocFred) Simkovsky The Story of King Romeo and Queen Charlotte .51

Reggie A. Lacina

Love Can Be a Many Splendored Thing . . . . . . 23

Michele Downey

Exercising the Power of Self . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26 Avalaura Gaither Beharry

ON THE COVER

Mr. and Mrs. Winlock, Love and Spice in

Midlife!

Raven shares a loving interview with old

friends who found that love can still be

found!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pg 6

February Special Love Section!

A Legacy of Love, Tragedy and Faithfulness . . 31

Anna Scheller

A Deep and Enduring Love . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33

My Special Valentine . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .34

Stephany “Stevie” Levine

Unconditional Love . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37

Janie Lidey

Begin It Now - Finding My True Love and Other

Miracles Along the Way . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39

Janie Lidey

We Didn’t Want To, But We Did! . . . . . . . . . . 43

Vonne Nunn

Acid Through a Straw . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45

Sherry Prindle

My True Love is a Tough Love . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47

Sherry Prindle

The Serendipity of Love . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49

Dr. Fred (Doc Fred) Simkovsky

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Beverly and Michael

Winlock

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ON THE COVER

Finding Love and Spice in Midlife By Raven Blair Glover

Have you ever met somebody who you felt like you can spend eternity with or maybe you’ve al-ready have? Some consider that a soulmate. To others they are simply those who deserve the very best from us. They can be romantic partners, best friends or even just wonderful people who pass through one’s life and make a genuine difference. But most often when we think of soulmates we think of the one that we’re supposed to spend the rest of our life with. Kenny Logins said a soulmate is the one person whose love is powerful enough to motivate you to meet your soul to do the emo-tional work of self-discovery and awakening. That’s what Kenny Logins says.

What do you say? What do you feel your soulmate is going to possess? Who is that soulmate for you? Have you met him or her yet and they slipped right by you? Julie Dylan says our universe grants every soul a twin, a reflection of themselves. The kindred spirit and no matter where they are or how far were they are from each even if they are in different dimensions they will always find one another again.

Well, I am so thrilled today, as part of our empow-ered couple series to introduce you to my dear friends, the beautiful couple on the cover. Mr. and Mrs. Winlock. I’m going to tell you a little bit about them and then you get to hear from this amazingly loving couple yourself.


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Michael Winlock and Beverly a.k.a. Cinnamon

have known each other since the 1980s. Michael

was a businessman extraordinaire owning sever-

al types of businesses through the years, and

Cinnamon his now beautiful bride majored in

human services at Baldwin Wallace Collage and

became a mental health counselor. Who knew

that 30 years later for Michael and his new bride

Cinnamon, finding each other again was more

than destiny, it was true love.

You see they’ve given each other a piece of their

soul, which is much better and far deeper than

giving one another a piece of their heart.

Hey Mr. & Mrs. Winlock—welcome—how are

you?

Beverly: Hey Raven, how are you?

Michael: Hello Raven.

Raven: Welcome to the Empowered Couple

special edition. We’re excited to have

you two on the February cover of

Amazing Women Magazine and I’ve

got to say you two deserve it because

your story is simply amazing. Not

often do two people meet, drift apart

and then find themselves back to-

gether. I’ve got to ask you though,

what took you so long to get to the

altar?

Beverly: Oh dear. How do we make a long sto-

ry short? Michael and I met some

time ago and we had a great friend-

ship but life’s journey took us on

different paths. As you said, Michael

was a business man with different en-

deavors and I went on to work in hu-

man services as a social worker.

In that timeframe that we were apart,

we accomplished a lot. We had Families

and children, grandchildren and we

both felt very contented and very happy

with our lives.

Michael: Well as you know things can happen.

One night I was encouraged to go to a

social function that I actually didn’t have

any interest in and really didn’t feel like

going. However, after much persuasion

from my friend I decided to go. I wasn’t

looking for anybody or looking for any-

thing. The common denominator was

that same night Beverly’s best friend

was performing at the same social func-

tion.

Beverly: Yes that’s right. A good friend of mine

had invited me to come hear her sing

and after convincing myself to go and

support her I said okay, I would come

out just for a little while.

Michael: Who would have known at this big

function there would be a beautiful lady

sitting in front of me as I stood in a

crowded room and that beautiful wom-

en would turn out to be Beverly, aka

Cinnamon.

Raven: [Laughs]

Beverly: [Laughs]

Michael: She turned around it really caught me

off guard and she recognized me. From

that point on, we started making lovely

music.

ON THE COVER


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Raven: I love that Michael, lovely music. To all

of you tuning in, I met Michael years

ago in college. I don’t even know when

that was how many years ago and then

years later, several years later I had the

blessing of meeting Beverly a.k.a. Cin-

namon. We became dear friends. I had

not seen Michael again until I went –

let me see, I think when I went to

Cleveland after we did mom’s memorial

service and I saw them together. I just

had joy inside. They’re a beautiful,

beautiful couple inside and out and I’m

just so excited that you guys are to-

gether and that we had a chance to

come to your wedding. It hasn’t even

been a month now right?

Michael: Yes.

Beverly: Well actually we got married November

26th.

Michael: Seems like a few days, we’re just on a

joyous roller coaster ride, enjoying our-

selves.

Raven: I love that. I wanted to talk to you in

hopes of empowering and inspiring

others that have given up on love, giv-

ing up on ever finding their soulmate.

Maybe they’ve been in a marriage that

has been through a lot of struggles and

challenges, tough times and they don’t

believe in true love anymore. Been

there myself at one time so I get why

you feel that way. However, I believe

that anyone can turn things around if

they are truly in love with one another.

As much as we think how hard it is to give

our hearts, it’s a lot harder to give our

souls. You know, when we are in tune with

how your soulmate feels before they even

mention it. This is what I feel watching and

being with you guys. I know there’s been

some challenges and struggles so let’s talk

about how you guys get to the challenge of

okay didn’t work out before or you know,

should we even give it a try now? Tell us a

little bit about that Cinnamon.

Beverly: Well actually, when I turned around and

Michael was standing directly behind me.

It was just like he had never left my side.

Raven: That’s what I’m talking about.

Beverly: I had always been attracted to Michael but

as I said; life paths took us different direc-

tions. So this particular night as he walked

me to my car, he gave me a card and asked

me to call him.

I took several days and thought about it

because as Michael was saying, we were

both content with our lives and doing just

fine. Both had been blessed with families

that we have had and children and grand-

ON THE COVER


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ON THE COVER


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children. But I finally decided to call

him several days later and the first

words out of his mouth was “what took

you so long?”

Michael is just so funny and so warm-

hearted that as our life begin to meld

together, it was unexpectedly and it

was just so, so perfect.

What Michael is bringing to this rela-

tionship is more than anything I have

ever experienced. You can find a mate

that may be loving and strong, you can

find one that makes you laugh, but I

never found or had the complete pack-

age, it just seems like our souls com-

plete one another effortlessly.

So it’s just been wonderful and we’ve

actually been together almost five

years now but we did just get married

November 26h.

Raven: Yes, which brings us back to that #1

question, what took you too so long to

get married? Michael, you didn’t an-

swer—your turn.

Michael: Well you know, that’s a very interesting

question. To be honest with you Raven,

it feels like we were married before we

even got there.

Beverly: It does. We just feel connected.

Michael: You know, because we really have not

missed a beat. I think you gave a really

good choice of words when you said

you give someone your soul because

we all have given someone our love.

Raven: Uh-hum.

Michael: I think when you mentioned the word

soul, that really takes it to a whole differ-

ent level.

Raven: A whole different one yes, yes.

Enjoy the remaining part of this interview via the

audio link below.

To listen to this entire interview, click on the link below: Raven Talks with Newlyweds

Michael and Beverly Winlock

HERE

ON THE COVER


http://raven.audioacrobat.com/download/raven-20160224132442-1637.mp3

http://raven.audioacrobat.com/download/raven-20160224132442-1637.mp3

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Coaches to Watch in 2016 By Nanci Adair

Who is it going to be? Who is the next Tony Robbins or Iyanla Vanzant? Do you want it to be you? If not aren't you curi-ous? I know I am. I also know that anybody who is a somebody had a somebody they watched, admired, fol-lowed, or were mentored by. In setting out to write this article I decided to interview as many up-and-coming coaches as possible. A number of these interviews I con-ducted over blab.im If you'd like to hear them in their entirety go to blab enter UKandu and my name, Nanci Adair in the search field and listen to your hearts content. One of the coaches I interviewed asked me with what authority I was writing this article. I heard her question through the ears of my inner critic. I heard her asking, What gives you the right? Who do you think you are to make this selec-tion? So I’ve decided to start out by telling you exactly who I think I am. My name is Nanci Adair, execu-tive producer and host of UKandu radio on the Amazing Women of Power network. There is a virtual alphabet soup before and after my name, REVBAMALCPCCCSACCCUG.

Back in 2002 I served on Dave Buck’s research and development team. Dave is President of Coachville, one of the earliest and largest coach training pro-grams. Dave was coached by me, using my GoalModel method of Life coaching, on the Coach-ing Caffeine show. My first coach was Pam Rich-arde who at the time was President of the Interna-tional Coach Federation known as ICF. After deliv-ering a presentation on Beyond Emotional Intelli-gence in Long Beach, California Pam compared me to Cheryl Richardson, also a former ICF president, and told me Cheryl presented at the very same ICF chapter. All this being said, I did not obtain monetary suc-cess, nor rise to the stature of coaches with name recognition like Cheryl Richardson. You see life happened and tragedy struck. In 2002 when my child was just five years old his father died in relapse to drug addiction. Life re-flected my own worst nightmare and my coaching business tanked. Reduced to accepting welfare and struggling to provide, I took a ‘regular’ job in a nearby hospital. Thirteen years later The Recovery Center where I worked closed in June of 2015. With my son now a sophomore in college I’ve de-cided to return to coaching . Is it too late for me? Will I rise to success once more? These questions formed the desire to

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research what makes a coach, a successful coach? What is it that makes a coach become a household word? I don’t know the answers but what I can tell you is the # 1 Pitfall most coaches fall into. Countless Coaches fall into the pit of wishful thinking. Coaches want to believe the contribution they have to make in the world will be enough to attract clients. Sadly they are wrong. We manifest what we believe not what we want to believe. So next let me tell you three key ingredients for success that the Coaches to Watch in 2016 all share in common. 3 KEY Ingredients for Success Key # One, the Coaches to Watch in 2016 have found their purpose in life and are passionate about the contribution they have to offer the world. Key # Two, the Coaches to Watch in 2016 know that key #1 purpose and passion alone are not enough. They have each created a unique brand, work hard everyday to both generate clients and serve them. The Coaches to Watch in 2016 both talk there talk and walk their walk and they do so with courage and humility.

Key # Three, the Coaches to Watch in 2016 appre-ciate that it takes a team to grow and prosper. The Coaches to Watch in 2016 have all followed in the footsteps and invested in coaches that have gone before them. Coaches to Watch in 2016 under-stand the value of investing in yourself, your per-sonal growth and your business. I interviewed a number of coaches with unique, inspiring and creative coaching methods. Sheppard Lake an Equus coach involves horses in her coach-ing process. Clients gain clarity, overcome fear, set healthy boundaries and connect with their heart and intuition. Sheppard explains that you can not lie or present a false self to these incredibly sensi-tive animals. Then there is branding and dedicated hard work. Having a catchy name for your style of coaching is for some a completely natural evolving process. I’m going to use the examples of the gals I call my three C’s. COPcoach, CRISIScoach and the big C, CANCERcoach. LADYCOPcoach, Autumn Clifford has age, beauty and the law on her side. Autumn chose a career in law enforcement in order to be a positive role model for young women. Yet at 25, she felt her work was not lighting up her life. That is when she hired her first business coach, Lexi D’Angelo who Autumn said, “inspired the crap out of me.” Now Autumn hopes to reach young women everywhere and help them to succeed in business. CRISIScoach, Faydra Koenig works with celebrities and professional athletes when they find them-selves in a bad spot. Faydra’s motivation came from having no one to turn to when she was faced with a crisis of national proportion. In 2008 her husband was sentenced to 43 years in prison for a political crime. Faydra became collateral damage, received hate mail and was fired from her job. When Faydra’s clients complete their healing pro-cess they find ways to pay it forward, write books, become professional speakers, establish founda-tions.

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Which brings me to mention our BIG C - CAN-CERcoach, Jeannine Walston who like Faydra came through difficult times. Jeannine was diag-nosed and treated for a brain tumor at age 17. Eighteen years later she is more than a cancer survivor. Jeannine said she used to give, give, give and all on a volunteer basis. Now she recog-nizes the need to generate a greater income in order to reach and serve a greater number of people.

You can start to imagine how difficult a selection process this has been. So we are almost there…are you can waiting with baited breath?

First let me make a few more honorable men-tions. A special shout out to Dan Mason of www.creativesoulcoachin.com who left a lucra-tive career to follow his soul. Bonita Lehmann who calls herself your Dream Big Coach & Ac-countability Partner. Kari Miller an ADHD Coach who is a resource queen and Tiffany Hammer who is rolling out her healing with crystals coaching program entitled ROCK ON. No more waiting. Here they are folks.

COACH TO WATCH IN 2016 Heidi Symonds. During my interview with Heidi I looked over at the Amazing Women of Power banner. In the bottom left-hand corner are the words passion, purpose and prosperity. It occurred to me that we should put a plus sign between the words passion and purpose and then an equal sign in front of prosperity. So that it would read, Passion + Purpose = Prosperity.

Heidi personifies this concept. Heidi lives her purpose, to nourish yourself for life, every day. She has known the struggle of ignoring her own needs while caring for just about everybody else. She has lost 100 unwanted pounds. The majority of people who lose weight find it again. Not Hei-di. She maintains a healthy body and lifestyle. While her business is growing rapidly, Heidi is all

The more aware of her need for balance. Heidi makes time for family, for exercise, for medita-tion and for feeding her body with nutritious food. In addition to being nominated for the Amazing Women of Power host of the year award Heidi has been on television this past year and according to Heidi this is only the beginning. Heidi has no qualms about saying she would like to be a guest on Oprah and one day in the not too dis-tant future to have her own show like Rachel Ray.

Heidi is quick to toot the horn of others who have made their contribution to her formidable rising success including, Amber Lileystrom www.brandlovestudio.com and Lisa Fraley: Legal Love www.lisafraley.com Heidi has invested in B-school with Marie Forleo and participated along with 10,000 viewers in Kate Northrop’s Facebook Money Love Challenge. Heidi had this to say about our mentor Raven, "Raven Blair Glover and the entire Amazing Women of Power Family are a huge part of how I found my voice and having a radio show allows me to share it with the world. It's not always comfortable, but Raven somehow always makes it possible.”

COACH TO WATCH IN 2016 Tiamo DeVettori

Tiamo is a singer, song writer, coach and creator of the Fearless Speakers Academy. During our interview Tiamo became passionate as he de-scribed the pressure he felt to choose between being a performer, a speaker or a coach. Tiamo

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refused. Instead he followed his heart and has found a way to incorporate the full expression of his many talents. During his recent Fearless Speaker’s Emergence event in San Diego Tiamo shared story after story. My personal favorite was his Liger story. Tiamo worked for $8 an hour as a Liger mascot, wearing a half tiger, half lion costume in public soliciting business for a sporting goods company. The miracle of this sto-ry was seeing this highly successful entrepreneur on stage and through Tiamo’s humble disclosure learn that this Liger story occurred only 7 years ago when Tiamo was 32. Tiamo now encourages coaches and people everywhere to invest in overcoming fear. One of his signature quotes is, Run Toward Fear NOT Away From It.

Another story brought the audience back to when Tiamo was 13 years old playing the piano in a recital. 10 seconds in he forgot the music. Regardless he kept playing. Aware Chopin could not be improvised he was humiliated in front of friends and family. He could not erase from his mind the scowl on his music teachers brow and stayed clear of performing music for over a dec-ade. He credits his inspiration to return to play-ing music to the encouragement of his buddy Ray.

When asked the question who does Tiamo watch he immediately named several people. At the top of the list was his close friend, Christian

Michelson. Tiamo has coined a new phrase refer-ring to Christian, Shawn, Lisa and others as his frientors.

COACH TO WATCH IN 2016 Mary Smith Moore Mary calls herself a FAITH AND FORGIVENESS coach. With such a powerful message Mary and I both kept veering off the subject of being a Coach to Watch in 2016 and focused on the importance of her message. As a Faith and Forgiveness coach Mary brings our attention to the message and not the messiness of resentment, hurt and anger. Focus on the message not the mess.

Mary has a wonderful sense of humor and said she was a poster child for unforgiveness. Mary harbored deep resentments and kept a list of people she would not forgive. She read this list every night before going to sleep. This may sound humorous to you now and I know I certainly had a good laugh. Only can you imagine how dark Mary’s heart must have been to keep a list and read it every night? Now Mary www.christiansdestinedtoreign.com teaches how the mess is often what provides the motivation to hear the message that God (your Higher Power, Higher Self) has for you.

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The coaches selected shared one more common denominator, adversity seemed to be a spring-board to success. Their losses became their tri-umph. Heidi’s 100pounds, Mary’s 100 pounds of non-forgiveness and Tiamo’s 100 pounds of heart. This gives me hope. Hope that grandiosity and humility can co-exist as long as humility takes the first step forward. Hope that it is never too late. Hope that if I can do it UKANDU it 2 and I’ll be watching.

The selection of Coaches to Watch in 2016 was difficult because there are so many truly talent-ed coaches in the world making a fantabulous contribution. My mentor, Raven Blair Glover, the creator of Amazing Women of Power Magazine suggests I write a monthly coaching column for the maga-zine and name a coach to watch each month. If you think this is a good idea and want to be con-sidered as a coach to watch, be in touch with me, tweet, twitter, blab it up.

Coaching coaches and creatives from around the globe to get big dreams off the back burner. If you are ready for a ‘no excuses’ coach, Nanci may be a good fit for you. The reality that wishful thinking is not enough propelled Nanci to study psychology, coaching and ministry. The power of imagination when backed up with ‘feet on the ground’ strategies can shape reality. In her book, Achieve The Summit of Your Dreams and on UKandu radio Nanci shares proven tech-niques to help you create your vision of success and harness the power to manifest your dreams.

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Life, Biz… Are You \Making Self-Care a Priority?

By Michele Pariza Wacek

Love is in the air! With this being the month of love, it seemed like a perfect time to talk about self-love and self-care. Self-love and self-care is important for every-one, but it’s even more important when you’re doing intense personal or spiritu-al development work. I personally am doing a great deal of inner work right now so I can bust past my current glass ceiling. And when that’s going on, it’s important to make sure you give yourself some extra special love. So, what does self-care look like? Well, every-one has a different routine but one thing I think is crucial is doing things that you enjoy AND make you feel good. So, for instance, here are some of the ways I incorporate self-care in my life in no particular order:

Daily meditation

Exercise (currently yoga and Zumba)

Reading

Spending time with loved ones

Walking the dogs (combining exercise, being outside AND spending time with the pups — a big home run!)

Taking Epsom salt baths

Playing with my creativity journal

Taking care of my health (drinking lots of water, sleeping 8 hours, acupuncture and chiropractic appointments, etc.)

Your self-care may look very different from mine, but that’s okay. You just need to feel like at the end of the day you’re taking excellent, exquisite care of yourself. Now, I know how difficult it can be to take that time for yourself — I struggled with this too. For years I felt like any time I took away from the biz that looked like self-care (even just going to an ex-ercise class during “work” hours) felt like I was somehow “betraying” my clients. It took me an embarrassingly long time to finally get it through my head that driving myself to exhaustion was NOT serving anyone, including and especially my clients. (It’s like that whole “put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others” — if you collapse, you can’t help anyone.)

October 2015 Amazing Women

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So for me, I had to do it in baby steps. But, once I started, I made the happy discovery that the more I took care of myself first, the better I served my clients, so then it was a lot easier to make sure I was getting myself taken care of. Now, I’m taking this a little deeper for myself as part of this year’s Play/Fun theme, so I’ll keep you posted on how that goes. (Yes, putting Play/Fun first is definitely in the self-care category.) Until next time.- See more at: http://www.michelepw.com/blog/2015/02/life-biz-and-the-pursuit-of-happiness-are-you-making-self-care-a-priority/#more-2153

owner of Creative Concepts and Copywriting LLC, the premiere direct response copywriting and marketing agency through which she guides entrepreneurs in attracting more clients and boosting their business. Grab your FREE Love-Based Biz Kit here: http://www.MichelePW.com

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Michele PW (Pariza Wacek) is the best-selling author of the “Love-Based Copywriting" books that teach people how to write copy that attracts, inspires and invites, and the

For one month of Free Access to Thrive15.com and it’s 1,000 short video lessons use Jim

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What is Your Vision.. What’s Your Mission?

By Claudia Cooley

Do you have big dreams…. That are waiting to explode from you? Do you want amazing relationships,

health and wealth? Every successful person I’ve met shared a passion for setting goals knowing that those goals would carry them to their big dream or dreams. On my Rev Up For Success Radio show, I’m impressed weekly with the stories of these greats. They are just like you and me; they have hit some potholes and on many occasions had to figure out how to maneuver around the roadblocks. But they know where they want to end up and keep their eye on the gold and goal. People have often asked me how I accomplish so many things at the same time. Or it appears that way to them. At first I’m tempted to scratch my head and wonder the same thing and yet I know I’ve learned over the years the power of setting goals and creating a sensible action plan to get there. And hoe do I keep all the balls in the air that are important for living the life I love? I keep my eye on the balls, my eye on my health, my eye on building my business successfully and by all means, giving lots of attention to my amazing re-lationships. It takes a plan and working my plan… I begin to think about when I started juggling many balls and wearing several hats at the same time. When I was in high school it was imperative that I have a job since my father had died

and my mother wasn’t well. I started at 12 as a cashier for a small café (I loved playing with the money even though it wasn’t mine), became a waitress then moved into the world of retail in a chain fashion store. At the same time I worked hard to get good grades so my mom wouldn’t worry. I was V.P. of the Girl’s League, Year Book advisor for the Ad sales that you find at the back, cheerleader, active in my church group and ironed uniforms for truck drivers (before perm press). My guess accomplishing many things at once is either in my DNA or a learned trait. Ei-ther way, I’ve been on this path for many years and it is truly exciting. After years of being a contracted corporate trainer for Disney, Nordstrom and Broadway stores I be-came aware of my passion to teach and coach. Then I felt compelled to inspire the younger minds and chose to teach Marketing and Small business at the high school level. No wonder I do what I do today. Teaching and coaching entrepreneurs how to take their dream and put the results oriented action steps in place to achieve significant outcomes is really my forte. With years of experience, encour-aging people to plan their work and work their


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plan… I totally believe this is the answer to suc-cess. A big dream, A big Why and a Plan = Re-sults. I love working with entrepreneurs that are doing more than one thing. Maybe they have a job and are starting a business or may be building two businesses at the same time. Giving them the tools to embrace the whole dream and realize their successes makes my life “juicy”. That’s why I say “Together is Better”… I’ve had the support for myself and now I can provide the model for a suc-cessful journey. I know my mission is to inspire others to reach their ultimate dreams…. What’s Your Vision… What’s your Mission?

Claudia Cooley is on a mission to inspire you to live your most empowered life. As an accomplished Professional Success Expert, and vibrant speaker she founded Claudia Cooley, Inc., a Professional Success and life Enrichment company providing programs to optimize your confidence, relationships, wealth and health, for your spectacular results. For over three decades, Claudia has worked with 1000’s across America to transform and accelerate their success including working with major companies i.e., Disney, Nordstrom, State Agencies as well as taught in classrooms…with your bottom line her biggest consideration. To challenge others to live their personal excellence Claudia recently wrote “From Dud to Stud… Revving up for Success” and recorded the “Rev Up for Success… Heighten Your Confidence” CD series.

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What is Your Product Really?

By Christina L. Suter

When I was new to the small business manage-ment industry, when I would network and have conversations with people about what I do, I learned quickly that I didn’t really know what my product was. When asked what I did or what my product was, I would say “I talk with small busi-ness owners” and when someone would ask me to tell them more or explain to them what my process, system, or method of operation was, I couldn’t. I was left thinking, how do I explain my product? I ask you to clearly define your product. Get out a piece of paper and write down the steps that you walk through and that your clients walk through, because that’s where your product begins. What do you do when you first start talking to your cli-ents? What happens next and what do they get out of it? What value do they get out of each step? Your clients need to trust that you have the process and drive to move them along and to get them to a place they haven’t been before. As a leader for them, you bring greater value to their business and more clarity to their life. Your goal is to be paid for your time and fulfill your purpose and you accomplish that by being able to show and prove how your work improves their work. How do you tell the customer what you do? Once you’re clear on the features of your product, now look at your product from their position. De-scribe the service you offer or product you have in a way that shows them what value they will get out of it. Take for example a product as simple as a highlighter. A highlighter helps your client to more easily find the important part of their docu-ment, which in turn helps them to save time. That is the practical need

that your product meets, it states what it does and how it directly affects their work. But your product is more than the physical thing you’re delivering. Speak also to the higher need of what your product offers, which is the part that helps them fulfill their vision. Is their higher need clarity, freedom, abundance, to be a better parent, etc.? Speak to their higher need and talk to them about how it helps them be a better person, and to run a better business, etc... When you are clear on what exactly your product is, not only are you better able to communicate to people who inquire, but also you are better able to helps clients see the value your product adds to their life and business Focusing on the unique challenges facing small business owners. Christina helps clients increase profits, reduce management hours and improve business and quality of service. During her 20 years of successful small business experience, Christina has developed a variety of programs based on key fundamental principles for building and managing a small business and meeting per-sonal goals. Visit http://groundlevelcoaching.com for more in-formation and to contact Christina.

BUSINESS


Christina L. Suter is the founder and CEO of Ground Level Consulting in Pasadena, CA. Christi-na works with small busi-ness owners to improve business performance and work/life balance.

http://groundlevelcoaching.com

23

This is a joyous month, the month of February

and Valentine’s Day.

Love has by popular culture been defined often

as a feeling. Most love songs and romance nov-

els refer to this fabulous and wonderful feeling.

It “makes the world go round” as the song says.

However, the truth is that for me I am keenly

aware that love is an action word, too. Love

demonstrates itself by the many selfless acts for

others. It is this kind of love that the world

needs more of, in my opinion.

As a marriage and family therapist, I see so many

couples, who are still looking for what happened

to the “feeling” and the fantasy of what they had

hoped and expected in their marriage. Many

people, depending on their emotional maturity,

look at the other person to fulfill them or to

complete them. They are very good at focusing

on what the other one is doing or not doing to

cause problems.

I try to discern what that fantasy actually looked

like at one time and I attempt to get them to ver-

balize, at least to me, what they had

thought. Whatever they were raised with, most

people model what they saw. Maybe it was in

direct response to NOT do what their parents

had done. It doesn’t matter. The thought is that

we marry the people who are to be our best

teachers. We have lessons we need to learn and

relationships are the only way we truly learn re-

lationships are the only way we truly learn these

lessons. these lessons. In isolation, we can the-

orize but the messy job of being in a relationship

shaves our ego and forces our character

growth. Like diamonds born under pressure or

gold refined by the fire, for better or for worse,

we learn. It is how we learn and what we

choose to see that makes all the difference in

the world. They say we have the disease of per-

ception.

We have to look carefully and be taught how to

see again.

This is often difficult because many couples truly

do not know what “healthy” is. I am privileged

to help in that learning. I assist to re-parent

them, in some cases, so they start to learn what

that looks like. Often my own actions of love,

respect, and firm boundaries are the first time

anyone has ever encountered these things. It is

amazing in my group therapies, how often, peo-

ple will say to me that this was the first time

they had ever encountered a conflict actually

being resolved and peacefully. It is the first time

they have ever experienced unconditional love,

being in a non -judgmental atmosphere, but still

being held accountable for their commit-

ments. This is what healthy families are sup-

posed to be and role model. Sometimes, we are

not so lucky to have had that kind of home. I

certainly wasn’t. But I found some wonderful


Love Can Be A Many Splendored Thing

By Michele Downey

EMPOWERMENT

24

and I learned. I tell people they can do it too. Sometimes they come in, as a last ditch attempt to “save the marriage”. These couples are similar to the bad damage in a car accident and the emergency triage in the hospital after-wards. Sometimes it is simply too late. In which case, I assist them to move on peacefully and amiably especially if there are children in-volved. This in itself is difficult at best. I try to reassure them that if they can do this with re-spect and dignity, the legacy of generational abuse will not continue. For the sake of their children, most parents will listen. That is if they are not complicated with the problems of mood disorders or addictions. But that is another sub-ject and another article. However, even with these, people can break the patterns. But there is one thing that always can improve a situation regardless of what is happening...and that is loving and respecting oneself. This is a for-eign concept to many people. It is especially diffi-cult when abuse is present. Abuse, of course, does not involve what most people think: physi-cal. The more sophisticated people are way too smart for that. The financial abuse, isolation, dis-respect, and subtle passive aggressive ways are the most common types of abuse. People don’t even know it is called abuse. Most people will need lots and lots of support from qualified sup-port people including the professional specializ-ing in abuse. As a California domestic violence certified entity, I have gone through weeks and weeks and yearly careful training. What I was most surprised when I first started this education was that couples counseling in the same room is NOT indicated when there is a suspicion of any kind of abuse. There will be more abuse because what is said in the office will be used to abuse that person. I usu-ally see this in my office first. I then, will insist on seeing each person alone for a period of time, while I ascertain what is going on in the home.

This is the dark side of my work. This is the part very few people want to discuss while the world celebrates the beauty of love. What I get to do, however, is get really clear on what it means to love oneself. Not the selfish kind of ego-based narcissism, but the kind that believes you are a Child of God, you are sacred and so is your life. You have a purpose. I believe this is what the real celebration is supposed to be about.

The first and most important is to take time for the spiritual life, with items that fill the soul, like pray-er, meditation and silence. Some form of exercise, like yoga, dance or aerobics, and the time to eat properly and regularly are the basics of self -care. Good sleep hygiene and getting 8 hours of sleep a night are basic. Very few people actually do this. I suggest that they do something for them-selves that they can do everyday that gives them pleasure. Find some music or hobbies, and return to doing things that fill your soul. Take a class. Fill your circle with people who like the same things you do. I’m often surprised at how long it took me to practice these things. I knew all of this. My cli-ents also usually know. But doing it on a daily basis and knowing are two entirely different things. I needed a support sys-tem that could hold me accountable for my chang-es.


EMPOWERMENT

25

Surrounding oneself with a true support team or learning how to form one is one of my tasks in education. Usually this is not the family or the work environment, although they can be part of this support. Having a mentor who helps with the regular inventory of self is in-credibly useful. This person can guide and dis-cerning what bothers you and what is your part that you play in the problem. Even if the other person is 90% the problem, you still have a part. It is knowledge of this part and the ability to change that part, is where the real power is. Not to find guilt or someone to blame but to see how the pattern is producing and re-producing itself. Most people are shocked when they have this inventory done. Happily, they can be free of the resent-ments that build up. This resentment is the kind that cuts off the “Sunlight of the Spirit” and often leads to depression and illness, not to mention bitterness and unhappiness. So, loving oneself is about focusing on your self. They have a saying that one finger pointed out at someone else is equal to three fingers pointed at yourself. “Hocus Pocus, where’s your focus” was what I was told. Let me change the things in myself first then I can clearly see. Focusing on what is right with a situation is important. When there is not abuse present, focusing on the good things that some-one is doing and focusing on their good quali-ties can change things around. The focus of the

half -full not the half empty glass is a great exam-ple. If abuse is present, take action and tell some-one. That is an entirely different story.

Being of service to others, while working on your self is the best way to get out of the way. In other words, while getting out of the way of your “problem” person, and letting G (good) O (orderly) D (Direction) take over. While you aren’t thinking about “you-you-you”, you can help another per-son who may occupy your mind enough to forget your problems for a little while. It does great things for your self -esteem and you actually may be helpful. So, no matter what is happening, I have found the following to be true. As long as you take good care of yourself, have someone help with a personal inventory and learn to love your self, things will tend to get better. You will be empowering your-self and will be of service to others. This kind of love is truly “a many splendored thing”. Michele Downey is an RN, MAC, LMFT in private practice since 1987 and a nurse since 1977. She has been producing a series of meditational music and instructional audio’s in concert with the Australian recording artists, “The Chill Sessions”. As the founder of her own Recovery Life Coaching School, her coaches specialize in families affected by mood disorders and addictions. In 2011, she also expanded her offices to include LA and San Diego. She lives in Hollywood, in a 30,000 sq. foot art studio, with Bob Womack, President of Steve Kaufman Art and RawSakStudio inc.,World’s Premier Pop Artists.


EMPOWERMENT

26

5 reasons why we need to "dig" ourselves.

During a session with a client of mine, I asked

her what she really wanted to do with her life.

She told me very unemotionally that she wanted

to just do better at work. Though our session

had to do with dealing with issues from the past

and not with goal setting or achievement, I felt

lead to ask her this question.

I knew from her answer and the manner in

which she answered, that her answer was not

really the truth. After a few minutes of consulta-

tion, once we dealt with the reason why she ac-

tually came to see me, she spontaneously and

happily declared with a spark in her eyes that

she really wants to own her own business to

help people who have certain issues.

This lady's evolvement right in front my eyes,

shows a few of the reasons why it is so im-

portant to deal with issues from the past and

embrace our true selves. And to find our true

selves, we need to dig and scoop in the rubble

of issues from the past like of hurt, pain, disap-

pointments, frustrations, fears, brainwashing,

etc. The following 5 reasons show the im-

portance of digging for our true selves:

1. So we can be happy. We can only be happy

if we express our true selves and if we know

who we truly are. Past issues and or negative

programming that are not dealt with, will

cloud our minds of our true selves.

Our desires and longings will remain hidden

and suppressed leading to unhappiness and a

dull life. Not knowing who we are leads us to

look for happiness in people and things outside

ourselves, which in turn only leads to disap-

pointments and more unhappiness.

2. To live life on purpose. A life where we con-

sciously decide what we want to be, do, have

and passionately go after such. If we do not live

on purpose, we run the risk of not thinking

clearly and making long lasting unhealthy and

wrong decisions. This only leads to living unful-

filled lives, lives of waste, drudgery and regret

without a sense of direction. And for a few

even a life of burn out as we chase after the

wind.

3. To live our lives instead of someone else's.

When we are still buried, we will live someone

else's life to subconsciously please that person

or persons and still have these same people


EMPOWERMENT

Exercising the Power of Self By Patricia Varlack

27

not be happy with us. And when the person

who we are trying to please is not happy, we

tend to try harder and so remain in a viscous

cycle of trying to please without ever achiev-

ing our goal of making the other person(s)

happy.

4. To bless those we were meant to bless.

Contrary to this, others will miss the blessing

of us using our true potential to bless them.

Our lives are not meant to be lived for our-

selves only but for others as well. We were

given gifts and talents to bless others. If we

are not walking in our purpose, these gifts

and talents will not be used to potential and

people who were meant to benefit will lose

out on being blessed.

5. To experience God and thus experience

miracles. Once we know who we are, we

can consciously align ourselves with Him.

Otherwise we will miss out on experiencing

God. It is only through us that God can ex-

press Himself. And He can only do this when

we are our true selves aligned with Him,

when we are one with the Universe.

As for my client, I checked in with her after a

few weeks and she was happy and flowing again

in her mind and life. She is on her way to pas-

sionately work out her goal, not based on what

others want her to be but based on who she dis-

covered she is and what she wants.

overcome and achieve big goals in life. Patricia is

also President of Greater Works Foundation, which

promotes writing through organizing writers con-

ferences and writers critique groups. Patricia has

published 8 books including “How to Gain Spiritual

Muscles”, “The Different Faces of a Dysfunctional

Family”, “How to Cook and Eat Your Boss”, a quar-

terly Christian women’s magazine called “Greater

Things” and writes on numerous topics for local

newspapers. You can follow Patricia on facebook

and twitter.


EMPOWERMENT

Patricia Varlack resides

in the Dutch Caribbean

where she is the direc-

tor of Instruction Center

for the Wise, where she

is teacher, conference

speaker and life coach,

who helps people who

hit rock bottom in life to

28

29 February 2016 Amazing Women

P

LIFESTYLE

Forgiveness Flowers and Candy for Valentines

By Mary Smith-Moore

Mary Smith-Moore, Founder and Executive Producer and Host of Christian’s Destined to Reign is the 2014 Talk Show Host of the Year.

What comes after "sorry" will, of course, de-

pend on what's happened, but there are five

tips for effective communication to keep in

mind:

1. Pick your moment wisely. We often hear,

"Strike while the iron is hot." With apolo-

gy, it's the opposite. Wait until the conflict

has cooled. This helps you prepare what to

say -- not just by way of apology but also

by offering solutions or compromises.

2. Be specific. In the heat of an argument,

most everyone can be caught tossing

about the "always-es" and "nevers" -- as

though it is even possible for someone to

"always" or "never" do anything! Be care-

ful not to generalize when offering an

apology. Be as specific as possible. For ex-

ample, "I'm sorry that I raised my voice but

you are always cutting me off mid-

sentence" might become "I'm sorry that I

raised my voice yesterday when we were

disagreeing about childcare for next week.

I felt frustrated because I had not said all I

wanted to say when you started to speak."

3. Speak from your own perspective. The example

above illustrates another critical part of an effective

apology -- using "I" statements. Don't blame your

partner for your behavior. When you apologize, talk

about emotions you experienced. Because "I" state-

ments are about your emotions, not about the other

person, they are hard (er) to debate. They help in

moving from conflict to resolution -- and achieving

forgiveness.

4. What you don't say speaks volumes. No matter

what words follow "I am sorry," you also will say a lot

with eye contact, body posture, the tone and volume

of your voice, and facial expression. Research has

shown that we are awfully good at reading others'

non-verbal cues. We respond to these cues not only

with our thoughts, but with our physiology (e.g.,

heart rate, blood pressure). Look your partner in the

eye. Take an open stance. Speak calmly. Listen.

5. Put yourself in your partner's position. When apolo-

gizing, be sure to imagine standing in your partner's

shoes -- during the conflict and the apology. From

your partner's perspective, what warrants an apolo-

gy? How did your actions make him or her feel?

What does your partner need to feel understood and

considered?

For A Free 40 Minute Forgiveness Road Map For The Wounded Heart Text 72727 enter 4give. Remember The Weak Can Never Forgive Only The Strong Can Forgive And Let Go. Set Your Self Free And Move On, Get Unstuck And Leave That Packages Behind

30

http://amazingwomenofpower.com/schedule

31

10 Day, 38 years…

I remember watching my mother as she walked

around the little circle in the back yard where she

and Dad grew the herbs they used for the Italian

dishes.My children looked forward to the au-

thentic Italian dishes they made for us when we

visited from Texas. My heart ached to see her

out there. Alone. In the winter. By herself.

Just 3 weeks before, Dad lay in the hospital. A

year before that, when I learned I was pregnant

with our 6th child, my uncle called to tell me that

my father was losing his battle against chronic

lung disease. The dreaded day had finally come.

We were moving out of our rental home in Alas-

ka to quarters on post, packing boxes for the

move, and suitcases for the trip to Washington,

as my dad lay dying in a hospital. Mom stayed

faithfully by his side, as he breathed his last. We

stayed after the funeral to spend Christmas with

her and help her sort through all the stuff he had

accumulated through the years.Now Mom was

walking through the backyard, all alone.

Their story began 38 years earlier. My father,

then 27 years old, picked up a photo from his

mother’s desk. “Who is this, Ma?” he asked.

“Oh, that’s Gianni,” she replied in broken English.

“The daughter of my friend”

“What friend?”

Dad’s mother, Anna, came to America from a

small village near Sorrento, Italy. Anna grew up

with Maria, my mother’s mom. Anna’s older sis-

ter , Luisa, had passed away, leaving 3 children

behind. At her own mother’s urging, Anna married

her sister’s husband and moved to Brooklyn, New

York, to raise his children. She and my grandfa-

ther, Salvatore, had another eight children, of

which my father was her third child. Anna missed

her home and stayed in touch with her friend, Ma-

ria, through letters.

Mom was the oldest of Maria’s five children, and

the only girl. She quit school in the 4th grade to

help her mother at home. As the only girl, she was

watched closely by her brothers, and once, was

dragged home by her father when her brothers

reported to him she was meeting a boyfriend in

secret. Mom longed for freedom, and ached to

come to America. One day in May of 1959, her

mother, Maria, sent a picture of my then 22 year

old mother to Anna. This picture turned my dad’s

head. And soon, Giovanna, my mother received a

letter from this dashing young man in America.

On September 1st, 1959, they met for the first

time. Dad proposed. Mom accepted. 9 days later,

on September 10th, they were married in a little

chapel near the little village where my grandmoth-

ers and my mother grew up.

The next 38 years flew by. Mom and Dad became

the proud parents of 4 beautiful little girls. But

tragedy struck six months after the fourth daugh-

ter was born. My parents had just returned from a

religious retreat when the family pediatrician told

them that Rita, the baby, would not live to adult-

hood. Rita was born with a rare blood disorder

called Cooley’s Anemia found primarily among

peoples of Mediterranean origin. To ensure the

best of care for her, Dad worked away from home


Stories of Love

A Legacy of Love, Tragedy and Faithfulness

By Anna Scheller

32

for the next eight years while Mom raised me and my sisters in Asheville, NC. Mom worked hard to make extra money so we

could enjoy little luxuries, since most of Dad’s

paycheck went to family necessities and

mounting doctor’s bills.

She saved up enough

money to take me and

my sisters to Italy for

the first time. Dur-

ing that trip, Rita

passed away from

complications of

her disease.

It was a hard time for us.

For a normal couple, this

would result in divorce.

But my parents were

Strong Catholics, and

“until death do us part”

meant exactly that for

them. They clung to each

other through that painful

time. They watched their

remaining three daughters graduate

from college and begin their own lives.

Oh, they had more struggles. My dad was laid off

just 5 months before my wedding in 1982, and

could not get another permanent job for the rest

of his life. So mom supported them by working

for an orthodontist during the day and in conven-

ience stores at night. In 1991, a pulmonary doc-

tor diagnosed Dad with chronic pulmonary dis-

ease as he lay in a hospital bed gasping for

breath. The next years brought many challenges

to his health, but they both stayed true to each

other.

When the news came in 1997 that Dad

had only months to live, Mom knew what she had

to do. She quit her jobs to take care of Daddy. In

the midst of looming sadness, Mom and Dad did

have their moments. Like the day Mom hauled to

……………………………………....the curb the buckets of

……………………………………....wire Dad was going to

……………………………………....take to the recycle

……………………………………....center after he stripped

……………………………………....the insulation off the

……………………………………....copper. When she came

…………………………………….....home, Dad, huffing and

……………………………………..…puffing, he hauled the

………………………………………..heavy buckets into the

……………………………………..…house with his oxygen

………………………………………..hose trailing behind

………………………………………..him

…………………………………...….

“What do you think you

are doing?” Mom de-

manded.

…………………………………… He shot back, “I’m not

dead yet, woman!

My parents, Two independent people who left a

legacy of love, tragedy, and faithfulness.

A tribute to Luigi and Giovanna Balsamo, and the

family who still love them: Anna (Balsamo) Schel-

ler and her husband, Phillip, and their 7 children,

Maria Balsamo, and Luisa (Balsamo) Campbell and

her husband, Scott, and their two daughters.


Stories of Love

Anna Sheller is a sales trainer, dynamic speaker and author with a passion to help people create more sales. Anna was recently awarded her 3rd degree black belt in Taekwondo. She com-bines sales training with black belt mindset to help clients achieve greater results more quick-ly than they could on their own.

33

My mother and father were a very attractive cou-

ple. Both were immediately attracted to each

other and soon fell head-over-heels in love with

one another.

We observed and appreciated the many sacrific-

es our parents made while raising us. They also

instilled their wonderfully strong values and work

ethics in each of us. Encouraging us to strive for

whatever we desired. Remembering to do our

best in everything we wished to achieve in life.

We knew that we were loved by our parents and

as siblings we grew to love and appreciate one

another. Mom and Dad made a wonderful part-

nership. They were determined to make our fu-

tures bright.

Always ambitious and striving towards success,

they decided to invest in a business and soon

after, they opened the first of two “Blair House”

restaurants.

After about six months of dating exclusively, they

decided to get married. The bonding of their rela-

tionship deepened every day and lasted the rest of

their lives.

We were a blended family. Each brought with

them two children. We all grew up together and

from an early age genuinely liked and got along

with one another.

Running two businesses and raising four children

wasn’t always easy. There were many unique

challenges as well as our share of good and bad

times. Through it all they had a very strong com-

mitment to quality and excellent and were well

respected in the community.

They never let the ups and downs of running the

restaurant affect our happy family life. Their love

and support meant everything and we appreciated

the many sacrifices that were made to raise all of

us. There are so many moments that we focus on

the wonderful life our parents provided with much

gratitude. We love and miss them dearly and feel

blessed to have had them as parents.


Stories of Love

A Deep and Enduring Love By Tracey Doctor

Tracey Doctor is an

author and herbal

remedy expert. She

resides in Houston,

Texas and happens to

be Raven’s Sister!

34

I was sitting in our Old Main Building at college,

waiting to talk to my advisor. I was there to ex-

plain, that I was going to transfer to a school

closer to home. My Dad, had retired early to

care for my Mom, who had become incapacitat-

ed due to MS; and he needed help.

I saw the door open at the other end of the

building. In walked the guy I had been wishing

would ask me out. I had met him during Fresh-

man Frothing month the previous September,

however, he seemed to have vanished. It was

now October a year and a month later!

I didn’t know then the reason I never saw him

much was because the previous school year he

had studied in Europe; and been working off

campus to pay for school. Our campus was so

small, it was unusual not to see everyone you

knew or thought you knew, at least once a

week!!

He walked directly toward me and came over to

ask, “Hi, how are you doing, and where are we

going Friday night?” I responded, “I’m fine, and I

don’t know!!!”

That Friday night, we went to an early movie,

then to the bowling alley, Bill managed. He

made me a burger; then showed me a beautiful

slide presentation he had put together, of the

sites he had seen when he studied in Europe. It

ended with slides of gulls, coming in for crumbs

he had thrown in the air so he could catch just

the right pictures. He did. They were amazing!

Initially, when I met Bill, I thought he was one of

those guys who had come back on the GI Bill to go

to school. He seemed older and wiser than his

actual years turned out to be. He was deter-

mined, and so different than anyone I had ever

met. It was as if we had known each other; and

met again after a long absence from each oth-

er. There was no awkwardness, no silence. Just

excitement to share with each other, who we

were now, what we had, what we wanted and

what we loved to do!

The following week, was my birthday. He took me

to a steak house he had also worked at. It was

the best steak I had ever eaten.

I felt the stares of the Justice of the Peace, his

wife and 80 year old mother, when we eloped to

get married eight months after our first date. We

often laughed that we should send them a baby

announcement when our son was born 5 years

later!

Bill had graduated, as he is two years older than

I. We simply did not want to be apart.

They say you should be careful what you wish

for!!! I remember wishing for an exciting life -

this after I had left home to go away to

school. For the first time in my life, I got to feel

and be free.


Stories of Love

My Special Valentine By Stephany “Stevie” Levine

35

My wish came true - I must tell you, our life has

seldom been boring!!

We have had our ups and downs, there have

been times when I really disliked him and he

me! I remember as if it was yesterday, our ini-

tial romantic love; which turned into great pride

when we had our son, and then our daughter. I

remember our struggles to build several busi-

nesses – yes, we also worked together for 36

years, side by side. We have come through a lot

of storms together, intact; and perhaps as excit-

ed about what our future holds as we were on

the 22nd day of June in 1970, when we married

almost 46 years ago.

I often pinch myself to realize how blessed I

have been to walk side by side with Bill.

If I were to offer some words of wisdom, here is

what they would be:

1. Marry your best friend, who also happens to

be your romantic other – tough times are

bound to happen. However, if the commit-

ment is there to be with each other from the

beginning because of your bond, it makes it

so much easier to weather the storms.

2. Remember to give little surprises – here and

there – they may be corny, they also let your

partner know you still think of them the way you first did!

3. Do fun things together – save the memories for

when you need happy things to think about!

4. Learn to laugh together, at the little stuff you

and your mate do, that aggravate each of you

about the other - if that stuff continues to hap-

pen, at least you are laughing, instead of com-

plaining or upset!

5. Be grateful for what you have right now. I have

found in my life, when I am grateful for what I

have, it puts me at a vibrational level to be

open to receiving so much more more.

6. Learn to send out a prayer when things seem

overwhelming, to ask God for help. I have al-

ways found God is there listening and helping

in ways I may never have dreamt of or known.

There have been many times over the 46 years to-

gether, I have wondered what has kept us going. I

believe it was a commitment to ourselves first and

each other second to continue growing, learning

and working together to make it better. And a

deep commitment that no matter what, after any

argument we would sit down perhaps after a

breather, to talk about what happened, to accept

our parts in the disagreement, and to decide what

we could do so it would change going forward.


Stories of Love

36

Every morning, as Bill and I awake, Bills says,

“This is going to be the best day ever!” Guess,

what, it is too!!! Do things go astray? Of course

they do. With that attitude, nothing seems as

bad as it could otherwise be.

Happy Valentine’s Day! Wishing you and yours

the best day ever. Remember the past is gone,

tomorrow is a dream, and today is here. Make it

the best day you know how to have!!!

As an Empowerment In-

structor, I use the Akashic

Records, the Compass Life

Management System and

Claim Your Life (Boni Oian)

to teach people various

tools to EMPOWER their

lives in the ways that are

significant to them.


Stories of Love

37

“The more we truly desire to benefit others, the

greater the strength and confidence we develop

and the greater the peace and happiness we ex-

perience.”

The Dalai Lama

When my son Tristan was just barely able to talk,

he said one of the most profoundly, beautiful

things I can imagine a two year old saying. We

were laughing our way down the hill on our way

to his day care and as we laughed, he said to me,

“Mommy, look at me. I have happy tears just

like you.” As he began to know how to verbalize

his thoughts, he had asked me on several occa-

sions why I was crying. My response was almost

always that I was crying ‘happy tears’. It was a

little hard for him to wrap his head around, but

for him to realize at the age of two what a con-

cept like that meant made me extremely excited

about the kind of little human being I was going

to get to spend my life with.

Time passed, and as Tristan grew, so too did his

depth of character. When he was ten years old,

the second most profoundly beautiful thing I can

imagine a boy saying came out of him. This story

is one filled with many sad tears, but in the end,

the memory that lives on is one of ‘happy tears’;

the kind that you cry when you experience an act

of kindness and unconditional love like this.

As a family, (Dad, Mom, Tristan and our dog Ko-

dy) we were awaiting the day that we would

have to take our dog Kody to the vet to be put to

sleep. He had been sick for a while and we knew

the time was near, but we were having a hard

time making the decision to let him go. One

night, as I was standing in the laundry room, Tris-

tan came in and said, “Mom, can you wash Blanky

for me?” I looked at him with great surprise, as

he never liked me to wash his blanket because he

just really liked the special smell it held. I said,

“Sweetie I’d be happy to wash Blanky for you, but

why now?” He simply replied, “I think maybe we

should bury him with Kody.”

Here was a child who had told me from a ripe

young age that he would never give up ‘Blanky’

and that he would take him to the grave with

him. Standing in the laundry room with my little

boy that night, realizing he was making the deci-

sion to give up his most prized possession for his

most beloved best friend Kody, simply undid

me. I cried so many tears that night (mostly hap-

py tears) that I couldn’t go to school and face my

students the next day. My eyes were almost

swollen shut by morning, so I decided to take a

personal day, and celebrate life and death all at

once. It was perfect that I had some quiet time

alone that morning because it is what allowed me

to write the feelings I had about my little boy, my

little boy’s dog and the most unselfish gift of un-

conditional love I had ever witnessed. Tristan and

Kody brought the magic of this song to life.


Stories of Love

Unconditional Love By Janie Lidey

38

Best Friends For Life

Music & Lyrics by Janie Lidey, BMI ©2013

Inspired by Tristan and Kody

Kody was a puppy who lived a year exactly

Before his human brother was born on the same

day

And they were best friends for life

And aside from the blanket his mom and daddy

gave him

Kody was the best thing a boy could ever ask for

And everything was oh so right

He’d make him sit and shake and lay down in

the grass

He’d throw the ball for him and watch him run

so fast

He’d pull the whiskers in that poor old yeller’s

mug

And sometimes he’d just lay beside him on the

rug

They’d head down to the ocean in the middle of

the summer

And he and Kody would swim in the water

Until they could swim no more

And then at night he’d take the blanket

His mom and daddy gave him

He’d tuck it by his pillow and reach down for his

puppy

Who’d be laying there on the floor

He’d make him sit and shake and lay down in the

grass

He’d throw the ball for him and watch him run so

fast

He’d pull the whiskers in that poor old yeller’s mug

And sometimes he’d just lay beside him on the rug

When he turned ten and Kody turned eleven

And it came time for his dog to go to heaven

Somethin’ gave in that little boy’s heart

And he said Mama can we take the blanket that

you gave me

Ooh when I was just a baby

And even though I still sleep with it at night

Could we burry it with Kody tonight…

Mama could we burry it with Kody tonight…

Enjoy listening to Janie sing this song via

https://soundcloud.com/janie_lidey/bast-friends-for-life


Stories of Love

https://soundcloud.com/janie_lidey/bast-friends-for-life

39

“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin

it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.

Begin it now.”

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

When I was in college, a friend introduced me to

a quote that awakened me to a truth that isn’t

taught to us in the every day world of life and

education. Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe said,

“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin


Begin it now.” This truth has helped lead me to

finding my pure potentiality on this earthly jour-

ney and I believe led me to finding the Love of

my life ~ my soul mate ~ the father of the son I

was destined to bring into this world.

It all started when I decided to take control of my

happiness by walking away from a marriage I

thought I should be in forever because I had

promised to do so. I had stayed because I felt

that it was the right thing to do, but when I real-

ized that the dreams he and I shared in the be-

ginning of our relationship were no longer in

place, I knew I had to carve a new path for my-

self. I had to find the strength and courage to

begin a new journey. I knew I was destined for

change, and when I chose to ‘begin it now’ this is

how the journey unfolded.

While traveling through California in the summer

of 1997, I ran into a lady in a laundry room after

a day on the beach in Santa Cruz. She turned her

attention to me and asked me if I was going

through a rough period and that I must be some

sort of writer who needed to experience the pain

to gain the inspiration to write. I thought it was

an odd thing for a stranger to assume, especially

since I had just finished writing an entire album

worth of songs, all of which stemmed from the

pain I was going through in this transition period

of my life. I shared this with her and she just

looked at me as if it all made perfect sense. It

gets deeper…

My laundry room lady and I talked for a while

and I shared with her that I had just spent the

weekend in Newport Beach, California. I had

gone down to attend a fund-raiser for a girl

named Amanda, who had been in a car accident

and had slipped into a coma. A lot of the people

at the benefit concert wore guardian angel pins

in honor of Amanda in hopes that in doing so, we

would be instrumental in helping her miraculous-

ly awaken from the state she was in. At this point

in the story, the stranger stopped me and said

that I had an angelic aura about me and that the

next thing I wrote about should be angels. She

said, “You need to know that the song isn’t just

for you and I mean that in a very big

way!” “Truly”, she said, “big like Disney”.

We talked some more about what I had been

through in the past few years and that’s when

she told me a few more things that she could see

happening in my life. She said that I was going to

meet the man of my dreams in the spring of

1998, and that he was going to look like some


Stories of Love

Begin It Now Finding My True Love and

Other Miracles Along the Way

By Janie Lidey

40

sort of famous person. She said that the number

8 would somehow be significant, and that I

would have a baby when I turned 38. At this

point I was hoping she wouldn’t tell me when or

how I was going to die. I flew back home to Alas-

ka the next day, and when I arrived, my piano

lured me in, guided my fingers across its pearly

whites, and out came a lovely song called,

"Somethin’ About An Angel"!

I wanted to find somewhere to record the song

right away so that I could dedicate it to Amanda,

my family friend who was in the coma in New-

port Beach. It didn’t take long to get hooked up

with a recording engineer as I was pretty much

on fire with the desire to make a difference with

my music. I set up a time to record and then

packed up a pencil drawing of Jesus that one of

my high school students had given me that year,

along with the huge yearning I had in my heart

for Amanda to magically wake up, and I headed

for the studio. I imagined that in the process of

recording the Angel song, the energy of it could

be a cog in the wheel of her coming out of her

coma. The next morning, I got the news of a mir-

acle happening in Southern California. Amanda

had come out of her coma!

The midnight sun had slowly begun to wane, and

as the darkness of winter crept in, I found myself

spending a lot of time staring at the pencil draw-

ing of Jesus that I had brought to the studio with

me the night I recorded “Somethin’ About An An-

gel”. I just kept imagining finding a man like Him:

Kind, compassionate, loving, family oriented, and

with a face that felt like home to me. In the back

of my mind, I couldn’t help but wonder about my

laundry room lady and what she had told me

would happen in my future. Remember, she said

that I would meet the man of my dreams in the

spring of 1998, I would have a baby when I turned

38, and the number 8 would be significant. After

the magic that the Angel song seemed to bring

with it, I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe she

was right about the man of my dreams as well!

On March 8th, 1998, I got up and decided to go to

Alyeska to ski for the day. I had never gone alone,

and I actually had an invitation to go with some-

one else that day, but it just felt right to make the

hour long trek to the mountain by myself that

morning. I had skied so frequently over the years

that I had a rhythm down. Pack my lunch and all

the snacks and drinks I would need for the day,

load up my fanny pack and never have to stop ski-

ing. Just eat on the chair and only stop to use the

restroom, unless the right tree came along. But

on this particular day, I decided that it might be

fun to go down to the lodge, drink a beer, have a

salad, watch the guitar player and just hang out

for a bit. While sitting there, my jaw dropped

open wide when I saw the man of my dreams get

up and walk across the bar in his snowboarding

boots and gear, looking quite a lot like the picture

I had stared at on my wall since last September.

Maybe that is why when I met him face to face

that day, I felt like I’d come home.

The man of my dreams was sitting with a couple


Stories of Love

41

of other guys at a table far removed from mine.

But as luck would have it, the lodge had just

purchased some new padded, more comforta-

ble chairs, and when the people at the table

sitting on those nice new chairs got up to leave,

my guy’s table of friends moved next to me to

try them out. I was hoping they were moving to

get closer to the girl sitting alone nearby, but

alas, it was only the padded chairs. One of the

guys in the group just happened to be a teacher

at the same school where I taught, so he invited

me to sit with them. Three whole hours went

by, and although there was still some great ski-

ing to be had, we all chose to just hang out and

talk for the rest of the day.

During our conversation, I learned that Sean

(the man of my dreams) had just celebrated his

birthday on March 5th. I didn’t ask how old he

was, I only prayed that he was at least in his late

20’s as I was turning 36 on March 13th and did-

n’t want this to be a cradle-robbing situation. I

wasn’t thinking about the magic of the number

8 that day, but as it turned out, our birthdays

were March 5th and March 13th (8 days apart),

and I was turning 36 as he turned 28 (8 years

apart).

The Angel song comes back into play again at

this point, as one of the guys in the group had a

little boy who was in Seattle at the Ronald Mac-

Donald House, working on becoming a cancer

survivor. The day after we all met, I decided to

bring a copy of the Angel song over to Kevin’s

house to share with his wife and family. I was

hoping of course that it could have the same

healing effect on their son, as it seemed to have

had on Amanda. (I am happy to share that the

little boy is now a cancer free adult.) While I was

there, Kevin called Sean and Dale, my lucky

Alyeska Lodge table of guys, and we all spent an-

other entire evening together. Sean and I fell tru-

ly, madly and deeply in love that week, and we

were married the following year. We chose to

get married in June, with the hope of getting

pregnant on our wedding night, so that our baby

would be born in March.

We liked the idea of us all being Pisces, and we

also liked the fact that, because I was a teacher,

it would mean I could have the end of the school

year along with the summer months off to spend

with our new little family member. The power of

our faith, along with our belief in the ‘begin it

now’ theory, was so strong that I think we got

pregnant on our wedding night. Our son Tristan

was born just three days after I turned 38, anoth-

er of my laundry room lady’s predictions. We like

to milk the 8 thing for even more by saying that

his birthday, being on the 16th, is divisible by 8.

Between the time when I ventured out on my

own a few years earlier, and meeting the man of

my dreams, a myriad of events took place in my

life. I had come to realize more than ever that

we bring our dreams alive with the way we imag-

ine them happening and by embracing the ‘begin

it now’ theory. The quote by JW Von Goethe had

become the words that Sean and I would live by.


Stories of Love

42

"Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin


Begin it now.”

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the

chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness,

concerning all acts of initiative (and creation).

There is one elementary truth the ignorance of

which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:

that the moment one definitely commits oneself

then Providence moves too. All sorts of things

occur to help one that would never otherwise

have occurred. A whole stream of events issues

from the decision, raising in one's favor all man-

ner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and

material assistance which no man could have

dreamed would have come his way. Whatever

you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness

has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now."

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe.

herself to teaching music in the public schools of

Alaska for twenty-six years. After seventeen

years as the choir director and guitar teacher at

Grammy award winning East High School, she

decided to step out of the classroom and follow

her life-long entrepreneurial passion, becoming a

full time singer-songwriter, artist, author and

speaker. Janie is passionate about raising your

vibration through the magic of a song.


Stories of Love

Based out of Anchorage,

Alaska, Janie Lidey is an Em-

my award winning songwrit-

er who has been composing

music for over forty years.

Rather than focus on her

craft alone, Janie dedicated

Janie is delighted to share with you the follow-

ing songs:

I Don’t Wanna Go Slow Music & Lyrics by Janie Lidey & Matt Wilder, BMI ©2013

HERE

Love At First Sight Music & Lyrics by Janie Lidey, BMI ©2011

HERE

https://soundcloud.com/janie_lidey/i-dont-want-to-go-slow?utm_source=soundcloud&utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=email

https://soundcloud.com/janie_lidey/love-at-first-sight?utm_source=soundcloud&utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=email

43

Have you ever not wanted to be in love? That’s

not a typical question, but neither is my sto-

ry. Ever not wanted to fall in love? That was us,

the both of us. We had given up on love. We

had experience many mistakes, so much misery,

numerous failed relationships. For us we both

had decided that enough was enough. We

would never fall in love again, content with our

love for God and with ourselves. We decide to

choose a new journey; we would protect our

heart and enjoy our life.

I had begun selling a product, another way to

make some quick cash. The company promised

with the product you would have a total life

change. Obviously they didn’t mean finding the

love of my life, but that’s exactly what hap-

pen. One of my dearest friend’s sister passed

away, so another one of my girlfriends and I

went over for a visit. We took over a few items

and sat awhile to bring her some comfort and

encouragement. Honestly I didn’t want to go, it

was late, and I was tired. My friend talked me

into it, she picked me up and we headed over to

be with Lisa. When we pulled up I saw his truck,

he was an electrician and he was there to work

on her air. I looked over at my friend Pat “OMG

and her air is out too”. She laughed, “That only

means we won’t have to stay long”.

The air was working just find, it was only being

serviced. We had been sitting in the den for

awhile when he walked in to give her .

an invoice. He looked tired, it was August in Hou-

ston. It was hell hot and he looked as if he had

been in hell. When he entered the room he

spoke, just to be cordial. I looked at him and

quickly blurted out “do you get tired, do you need

some energy”. The room was quiet; no one knew

where I was going with such questions. He looked

over at me with the strangest look on his face, he

said nothing. I quickly explain “The reason I am

asking is because I am selling this new product” I

continued my sales spill. Everyone looked re-

lieved; I knew they thought I was crazy. I asked

him for his card and his email address, I told him I

wanted to email him the link to my website and

he can research it for himself. He handed it over.

Pat and I continued with our visit, maybe another

hour. We prayed with Lisa then we left. Once I

returned home, I had nearly forgotten about BQ

and the product. I was looking in my purse for

something when I saw his card; I grabbed my tab-

let and quickly emailed him. I texted him to let

him know I had emailed him. What great custom-

er service, right. He responded about thirty

minutes later, which prompted the need for a

phone call. So of course I called him. He ordered

the energy vitamin. I delivered the product a cou-

ple of weeks later (of course it was on back or-

der).

Now we were in September, I had been to Florida

and back. My first day back at work was Grand-

parents Day at my grandson’s school. On my way

back from lunch with my grandson, I looked over

and there he was on the freeway. I called him; he

even asked if I had had lunch “hmmmmm” I had

to get back to work. So we talked until I pulled up

in the parking lot at work about lunch, we talked

about soup and here it was nearly 100 degrees


Stories of Love

We Didn’t Want to, But We Did

By Vonne Nunn

44

and baking bread. Who even wants to turn on

an oven? Still nothing triggered in us. He told me

his favorite soup and how he wish he had the

recipe, as soon as I sat down in my office; I gog-

gled the recipe and emailed it to him.

That was on a Wednesday; by next Tuesday he

called me to help him get the right ingredi-

ents. He was at the store and I was at

home. Thursday when I was leaving Bible Study

my phone rang; it was BQ “are you hungry” “yes”

I replied. “Are you at home” I couldn’t believe

what was about to happen. “Yes” he said I’m on

my way to bring you some soup and he did. It

was the best soup I had ever had, probably be-

cause it was made for me with love.

A few days went by and there was once again

silence, until one Saturday afternoon. He texted

me, I didn’t respond for hours. I was with my

friend Pat out shopping, of course that took pri-

ority. When I got home I responded. He re-

sponded, this time I called back. I dialed his

number at 5:33 PM and we said our good nights

at 2:00 AM. Seven and a half hours later. We

never talked about anything that happen value

to starting a relationship, unless building our

friendship counts. That’s all I got out of the con-

versation, that we could actually hold a conver-

sation. We spoke about our beliefs, our destiny,

and our goals.

I slept on that conversation, it marinated in my

soul. We didn’t speak on Sunday. On Monday I

texted him a question, “What chapter are you in,

in your life”. He responded “the same chapter you

are”. October 3rd was our first date, he took me

to Galveston, and we had dinner and walked on

the beach. A lady stopped us to see if we were cel-

ebrating our anniversary. She said that’s what love

looked like. That’s was funny because it seemed

like we had been together forever as if we knew

how to make each other smile. It took us nearly

two months to go out, but after that date our lives

began to blend. I never wanted to be without him

and he never wanted to be without me.

On my two weeks off at Christmas time, something

magical happen. He texted me on Dec 31, meet

you at 11:30 to go get license. Driver license?

“Marriage license silly” I was in shock, he picked

me up at 11:30 and we drove to two places before

we got our license. We had ninety days to use

them, but on January 9, 2016 just he and I stood

before a judge and pledged our undying love for

each other. We were married, and noting has ever

felt so right. We laugh, we have issues, days we

don’t speak, but we are sure that through it all

when we said I do, we always will.

let love go, I found the love of my life. Stop look-

ing and it will find you. Much love!


Stories of Love

Vonne usually writes

poetry and Christian

Blogs, but could not

help sharing her love

story with us. As a 56

year old who decided to

45

I sat at the bar at Oma’s German restaurant in

downtown Milwaukee. It was the first time I’d

gone out on a business trip since Steve died. I

didn’t want to be alone, so I stayed until close. As

I finished telling Lindsay, the bartender, my story

she said, “Wow, that is so amazing; it seems like

a movie. You should write the screenplay.” It was

Oscar buzz time, and I thought of all the stories

that had won awards, many of which were not

better than this one, and I could picture it. “The

winner for best original screenplay is Sherry Prin-

dle for Acid Through a Straw.”

I am writing that story now and am honored to

publish the first draft of the part here in Amazing

Women Magazine’s Valentine’s Day issue .

A motivational speaker, I had just been commis-

sioned by Fred Pryor Seminars to train all the

new speakers they brought through their Profes-

sional Trainer Certification program. I lived an

hour north of Kansas City, and was going to be

staying in town to teach the program. Looking

for a place to indulge my preferred pastime of

playing trivia over dinner, I found Scoreboards, a

bar with one side that had pool tables and dart-

boards and another with a huge U-shaped bar

and booths.

Three people were playing trivia boards when I

walked in – a good sign. But no one was talking

or sharing answers. They had a decent happy

hour and nightly food and drink specials, but the

women who ran the place lacked traditional cus-

tomer service skills. As I sat down, one of the

trivia players , was acerbically and relentlessly in-

sulting some other regulars about their lack of

knowledge of current events.

There were three bartenders and a nice variety of

patrons who, unlike the trivia players and the pro-

prietor, were friendly and willing to talk, so I

made it my go-to place one Wednesday and

Thursday night a month when I stayed in Kansas

City. In fact, when a fellow trivia player who had

just moved from Chicago asked me out, I suggest-

ed we meet at Scoreboards.

My date called to say he was running late, and

when I arrived, the sharp-tongued trivia guy was

there. His name was Steve; I had spoken to him

once or twice, even to the point where we occa-

sionally shared answers, and that day he was un-

characteristically chatty. Noticing I was there on a

Tuesday (not my usual night), he asked why.

When I told him I was meeting a date, he started

in on me. “Does he play trivia? Who is smarter?

Are you going to sleep with him? Why not?” Expe-

riencing his taunting first hand was fun. He looked

down and said under his breath, “What would it

take for me to be able to go out with you?” I was

abashed. He was such a cool, aloof character al-

most reluctant to be real. Just as I was mustering

a reaction, my date showed up and sat on the

other side of me. We talked and played trivia

while Steve ran his fingers along my other arm,

undetected by my date.


Stories of Love

Acid Through A Straw By Sherry Prindle

46

When I came back the next day and every time

after that, Steve and I talked ceaselessly. The reg-

ulars wondered what all we could have had to

talk about, since Steve barely showed more than

contempt to most people. He was still private,

vaguely saying he had poor health and no future.

I had my own intimacy issues, always accused of

not letting anyone truly know me. Neither of us

had ever married, and while we had both been in

serious relationships, I had never really let go

and let myself surrender to love anyone.

As we got closer, Steve finally told me he had

Cystic Fibrosis, a congenital disease affecting

breathing and digestion. Most people with CF

didn’t even live to be 30 – Steve was 46.

When I went to a bar five miles away to compete

in a live trivia bowl, Steve came with me and told

me that was the first time he had gone anywhere

but Scoreboards and general errands in two

years. “Wow,” I said, “that must mean you trust

me.” He nodded and mentioned something

about his family wanting him to come to Omaha

for Thanksgiving if I would be willing. I still lived

an hour away and didn’t have Steve’s phone num-

ber.

I went home and thought about it, told my family

I was not going to make their gathering, and

headed back to Kansas City the next night to tell

Steve I was willing to take him home if he would

work on getting some portable oxygen to carry

with him, I also got his phone number.

Thanksgiving day I drove an hour to get Steve,

three hours to Omaha, three hours to drive him

back, and an hour home. I was exhausted – and

surprised. I thought I was attracted to and inter-

ested in Steve. His family was wonderful, but he

was not. He was contrary, boring, and bordering

on rude. It was nice to know how I felt, though, I

could move on and stop driving to Kansas City

night after night.

His father had given him a Christmas card while

we were in Omaha, and I had it in my purse. I real-

ized when I got home that it was still in there, and

there was $1,000 cash in the envelope. I called

Steve and said I’d come the next night to give it to

him, and there he was, the charming man I was

attracted to. I guess all of us are different in our

childhood homes than we are in our grown up

lives. Steve said I didn’t have to drive all the way

home, and I agreed.

The next day, he admitted, “You may have noticed

that while I am so happy being with you, I have

been trying to push you away. I wouldn’t want to

put anyone through what it means to be with me,

but the better I get to know you, the more I think

you could handle it.” “I’m all in,” I said. He re-

sponded, “Me too.”


Stories of Love

47

He said he wanted to try and explain to me what

he felt like most of the time. “Imagine,” he said,

“you are treading just under the surface of the

water in the ocean with big waves and salty wa-

ter. The only way to breathe is through a straw

sticking out of your mouth. Now with all of that,

someone pours acid into the straw.”

Coach Academy, she trains life and executive

coaches. She is also a marketing consultant who

contributes to the Trainer Co-Op.

Get Certified as a Life and Executive coach in a 2-

day live webinar designed for professionals and

life changers who want to make money making a

difference. See the special offer at

www.ProfessionalCoachAcademy.com/offer

Do you remember any of your teachers from

school? Which ones and why? The one I remem-

ber best was Mr. Robbins, my choir director from

high school because was so hard on me. He

caught me when I hit a wrong note, reprimanded

me for being late, and even called me out for roll-

ing my eyes at a soprano in the show choir when

we liked the same guy. It seemed I could never

please him. Even in my yearbook, he couldn’t just

write something pleasant. He scribbled just one

sentence about how talented I was and followed

it with three paragraphs about what my major

problem was and how I should take instruction,

focus, and discipline myself . . . so much for fond

memories. I would have understood if he had

been that way with everyone, but I seem to have

been his only target.

A year after graduation, I ran into Mr. Robbins

who sat me down and said, “Sherry Prindle, what

did I always want to tell you when you were in

school?” He proceeded to go on about how he

believed I had the potential to truly make it big in

whatever endeavor I chose to take on. He wanted

me to go for it and not let the petty pressures of

my peers stop me. It was quite an epiphany to

realize that he had treated me the way he did in

high school because he cared and wanted me to

succeed. That he didn’t treat everyone else as

strictly because I was the one he saw the poten-

tial in.

Who was that person who saw potential in you

and cared enough to give you tough love?


Stories of Love

Sherry Prindle is a

17-year veteran

motivational speak-

er and corporate

trainer. Founder of

the Professional

My True Love is a Tough Love

By Sherry Prindle

48

Valentine’s Day tends to be a time when we

think about roses, hearts, chocolate, and roman-

tic love. But as a coach, I invite you to consider

that perhaps the most important kind of love

may be tough love.

It’s great to be warm, fuzzy, and kind, but in the

end, when we let those we care about lose out

on reaching their dreams, are we really loving

them? Who do you know who wants to do more,

have more, and be more – who has the potential

to reach great heights? Do you let them off the

hook to stay mediocre or hold their feet to the

fire?

I have historically not been good at being hard

on people. As an only child, I got my way most of

the time and was allowed to rule the household.

I was taught by example that the way to love is

to be an enabler. I rescued my friends from their

parents’ wrath; I shielded my parents from my

issues – pretending to be perfect. As a corporate

trainer, I let my seminar attendees stay compla-

cent and blame others for not achieving success

in their careers. . . and then I found coaching.

Every coach I hired let me off the hook. I begged

for tough love; I asked them to not let me get

away with not following through on my

promises. But I talk my way out of it every time. So

I insisted that if I was going to be a coach, I would

give people what they can’t get from anyone else –

the honest truth and tough love.

Exactly how did I grow the guts to become a mas-

ter of tough love? Well, I figured out what tough

love really is. Tough love is not being tough on the

person; it is about being tough on their inner na-

ture.

Humans are wired for survival. But in the uncon-

scious mind, the way to stay safe is to stay the

same – homeostasis. And the unconscious is tricky.

It is masterful at making promises and rationalizing

and procrastinating. We fool ourselves into believ-

ing we are going to take positive actions, but the

proof is in the results. Are you getting the results

you want in life? Are those you love living up to

their potential? Do you truly care? Enough to stand

up for them even if at the time they don’t like it?

If parents do everything for their children, they

never grow up to be responsible adults. As a

matter of fact, parents who do their kids’ home-

work, coddle them, and give them too many free-

doms actually do so for selfish reasons. “I can’t

stand to see her unhappy.” “I want him to get into

a good school.” Teachers and coaches also avoid

tough love because it is uncomfortable. But it is

the hallmark of what it means to care about

someone – subjugating your own selfish need to

be comfortable and liked in favor of what is best

for the person you love.

It was frustrating at the time, but now the only

teacher I remember was the one who gave me

tough love. He is part of the reason I became a


Stories of Love

49

51 years ago I was sitting in the student lounge

between classes at Hunter College in NYC. It was

terribly crowded.

This girl comes in with her girlfriend and standing

next to me, she says, “If someone was a gentle-

man, he’d give me his seat”. I looked up and saw

the girl, looking pretty good, so I said, “You can

sit right here honey” patting my lap.

She actually sat down on my lap to my surprise.

Of course we are both from Brooklyn, NY, so this

really wasn’t out of the ordinary. New Yorkers

are rather brash. That’s how Catherine met Fred.

I invited her to a school dance. We went and

kept seeing each other. Our love grew.

I went into the Army from 1966-1969 and was in

Korea for 17 months and such but she wrote me

every day from day one. The other guys hated me

for all that mail. During my hitch, I came home on

leave from Korea and we got married but I had to

go back to end my time there. To make a long 51

year story shorter:

This year September 2016, we shall celebrate 48

years together. Through the lean times, the tough

times, the illnesses and excellent times, after 4 kids

and fifteen grandchildren we are going strong.

Love sometimes just happens but you need to

make the most of it. I had to learn to live with an-

other person as she did. But I learned because

after any argument, I have the last words “Yes

Dear”!

Learn that guys and you’ll be successful also.


Stories of Love

The Serendipity of Love By Dr. Fred Simkovsky

See Page 49 for Doc Fred’s Bio

50

51

Most everyone thinks that improving any rela-tionship takes a lot of effort and patience. In some cases it does. But I’m going to give you the secret to making your love relationships better. The biggest challenge to improving love relation-ships really lies in the fact that we do more talk-ing than listening! If that is so, and it is, let’s take a look at real effective listening. What is Listening? It consists of:

Hearing Seeing Comprehending Interpretation

Of all communications no matter how the mes-sages are being sent. 2. The results of poor listening, simply put, your

relationships and a lot of misunderstanding along with long term resentments.

3. The results of effective listening, simply put, it betters relationships and a lot of love and cooperation

Important Facts About Effective Listening: More than 70% of one’s day is communi-

cating 45% of communication should be MORE

listening 75% of oral communication is ignored,

misunderstood, or quickly forgotten A person typically speaks at 140 words/

minute A typical listener can hear at 280-560

words/minute Most people can think 3 times faster than

a typical person can speak

25 Tips to be a Better Listener 1. Consider the speaker a valuable and worthy

person 2. Let go of mental blocks, prejudices, likes and

dislikes, ego, preconceived ideas, opinions and solutions

3. Act like a host or hostess; the speaker is sharing and you are serving

4. Decide to really listen 5. Get mentally positive before conversing 6. The more yhou understand your own thoughts,

feelings, and actions, the more you will under-stand about others

7. Be aware of your feelings and body language in your conversations

8. Reflect on difficult conversations and how you could have made them better

9. Be positive always 10. Realize you can’t fake listening. Strive to be

genuine 11. Don’t jump the gun to agree or disagree but

listen positively 12. Put yourself in the speakers shoes and be em-

pathetic 13. Recognize listening is healthy for everyone 14. Powerful listening doesn’t imply agreement 15. Think of the other person’s frame of reference,

their perspective before beginning the conver-sation

16. Your body language needs to match your ver-bal language

17. Rephrase what you hear to insure you received all the information and it is correct and you un-derstand it all

AMAZING MEN

Your Love Relationship is Easier than You Thought!

By Dr. Fred Simkovsky


52

18. Recognize that every time you listen effec-tively, you strengthen a relationship

19. Practice reflective feelings and meanings 20. Ask open-ended questions to get all the facts 21. Summarize the other person’s views before

sharing your own 22. In a high conflict situation, listen more than

you speak 23. Your most important leadership skill is effec-

tive listening 24. Deepen your relationships through more un-

derstanding through listening 25. Strive to listen effectively, it is your most

effective tool for success. Practice this daily and your love relationships will grow and prosper!

Consultant development/learning consultant, and speech mastery trainer with over 45 years of experience in multi-disciplinary environments both nationally and internationally in the USA, Canada, Germany, Japan, India, and China. DocFred has successfully guided over 750 individ-uals, at all levels, to their Visions of Success in the last 10 years alone.


LIFESTYLE AMAZING MEN

Dr. Fred (Coach

DocFred) Simkovsky is

the founder and owner

of Life Career Business

Coach.com and the Vi-

sions of Success Talk

Radio Show, a certified

master life and career

coach, organizational

53

http://musicmixingsuccess.com/

54

AMAZING MEN

King Romeo met Princess Charlotte on an island,

while on a journey traveling the South Pacific

Polynesian Seas of Hawaii.

There was instant attraction that started a reve-

lation of discovery between them which started a

new and different journey of bordered love from

two different lands and a sea between them,

they were driven by desire, passion and love..

King Reggie was a fine and moderate man of ex-

periences in life, travel, knowledge and wisdom.

He was orphaned as a child and built himself into

a respected king of humble prosperity, but he

was wealthy in his own empire.

He combated many wars in life with great loses

and sacrifices, but he never looked back or let

these catastrophes stop him from moving for-

ward on the journey.. He self attained a true

symbol of being a self made person and a leader

in a life. He made it thru a place where only oth-

ers, can look from the outside and say,

“I have spent my life trying to be like you, what is

so different about you, that you can navigate

your life on your own and get thru all the atroci-

ties and still keep going forward”….

Why are you so different than so many others in

this world????

This is what attracted princess charlotte to King

Romeo……………

Time, within time itself, gave the two the oppor-

tunity to travel and meet with each. They grew at a

rapid pace, just like nature and the universe speeds

up and slows down..

They grew very fond of each other quickly and re-

alized they wanted to make changes in their per-

sonal lives even with borders greater than them-

selves.

They started making plans for the future, as the

plans looked, felt and seemed very realistic in to-

day’s modern society of high technology, jet air-

planes and a ride thru the countryside….

Nothing was to stop them, not greed or fear ….

Their plans started taking shape and form,

King Romeo’s planned to have princess charlotte

come to his homeland (temporary) and for a few

years where they would start a family in his king-

dom.

His queen would learn more of him, his personal

life and in his land so she could help him prepare

to move back to her country and take their chil-

dren back there for a new life in a few years from

this time.

They were getting excited about this dream, of,

“the heart of the minds desires”.. it was a fairytale

of modern rapture of extra ordinary conditions

that they would both have to overcome, not know-

ing enough about each other as they took the chal-

lenge anyway..


The Story of King Romeo & Queen Charlotte

By Reggie A. Lacina A Loyal Knight in King Romeo’s Army

(A true modern story of bordered love)

55

AMAZING MEN

So they decided to get married.. the plans, the

gift, the invitations and everything else all bun-

dled into this new journey with out any confirma-

tion of the reality of what they were interring

into.

Remembering now, that king Romeo’s was a man

of self reliance and had his own kingdom, which

he built, manages, operates and rules in his en-

tirety, not ever receiving help from anyone since

his infant orphanage.

Princess Charlotte is a humble lady of certainty,

extreme and very deeply rooted into her family

and countries way of life. She is very enlighten-

ing, educated, has great structure of values and

is far above her peer’s with loyalty driven by her

commitment to life being with her family.

At this time, they were now married and begin-

ning to enter into “no mans land” as one would

describe, King Reggie being set in his way and the

now, queen charlotte, has a life of commitments

that will for every bond her to her family and

homeland, first and always first..

After they married, they had to part again and go

back to their real life’s of their countries.

This is when queen charlotte woke up from this

dream the two of them had created and realized

that it was, a dream of inconceivable reality.

There was not a single chance that queen char-

lotte could ever leave her family and her home

county, not even for a temporary period of time.

(just a few years)

She realized the risk involved in doing this, would

or could jeopardize the possibility that 2yrs can

become 4yrs and then 7yrs would go by and she

would have missed out on this part of her life

with her family and this she could not do or take

the temporary chance!!! This just will not hap-

pen!!!!!!!

What had happened was, the now queen charlotte,

had gone from being Princess Lotti, into this com-

mitment that she could not fulfill and place her

new king as #1 in front of her family as this is

against every fiber of her life, will and up bringing.

Things started to breakdown; (Greed and fear set

in)

Queen Charlotte was so engulfed in confusion and

uncertainty and was now in unfamiliar territory.

She had gone past the point of no return with the

king and realized this is not for her and she needs

to go back to her family, regardless of the cost,

that nothing can ever come between her, the fami-

ly and her home land and this is what the king had

done.. He crossed the border into her life and was

taking control.

This is what kings do best, they cross borders and

take control!!! This is what has made him an ex-

ceptional character in his own life, this is who he is.

He can so easily stand alone and defeat many

army’s single handed.

King Romeo is the type of man that will never step down, he will never quit, he will not give up even if


56

AMAZING MEN

defeated in confrontation but not spirit. He has

had many catastrophic loses and will survive. He

can never live under someone else rule, he is a

king..

The queen, now in trauma from the realization

that this dream, the two of them created, was

becoming un-achievable, by the means of her

traditional upbringing in her way of life and these

borders have been crossed with out having a sol-

id bridge built between them, leaving the king

out to the sea..

This disturbed the queen so much, she was now

in unfamiliar territory and needs to get back to

stable ground, it was like being in a ship lost at

sea without a motor to navigate in a raging storm

at sea, being tossed violently.

This caused the queen to have a physical, mental

and emotional nervous breakdown… she reached

at every possible tangible notation to withdraw

her status and want all new conditions.

Her family took her back home and built new

walls and conditions for her and made changes

towards the king in a way that hinders impossi-

bility for him to fulfill. He can’t live her and her

families’ life with out having his own life 1st if he

made this move. This is why he is a king..

Like eminent domain, the king never saw this

coming; neither of the two was prepared to take

these challenges and the outcome of this trage-

dy.

This cast the king back to sea in a damaged ship

and went to his homeland, where like in his past,

he has always been the one to battle, continue

forward and find his way thru the war fields of

life.

His damaged ship is docked but he hasn’t

stopped, his journey is driven by internal desire

and this is what the queen fell in love with him for

when they met. His ability to get thru things when

tragedy occurs..

Though the borders between them have been

sealed, the story lives on. The king and queen have

returned to their homelands to resume with their

lives as they know them. Only the pressure of time

has the patients to be the determining factor of

what is to come for both King Romeo and Queen

Charlotte. For now, their communication has been

broken, as if it were forbidden destiny. The king

acknowledges the values of the queen and her roy-

al family and their new conditions. He understands

his kingdom and just as the queen, if he sacrifices

all his worth and takes a journey of uncertainty,

the outcome would be disastrous and far greater

than he himself. For this, it is a one way choice and

there can be no mistake, as there would be no way

back home for the king..

A real life story copy written with the writers guild…

He has earned multiple licenses and now couple’s many years life’s work and experience of being a Master Builder, Businessman, Life Coach, Healer, Speaker, Demartini method facilitator, co-author in two books and he owns and operates an Independ-ent Building inspection and Consulting business registered by the Division of the State Architect overseeing the requirements for state and public structures.


Reggie’s broad ranged background as a master builder in real-estate and development industry now combined with the human behavior, leadership empower-ment and self development industry.

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February Amazing Women Magazine