FEBRUARY 4th, 5th and 6th, 2016

HAGEY HALL, HUMANITIES THEATREUNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO

spookily presents...

PREFACE

Hail, the CSW! Cower before the power of her editing pen! How fortunate are we, to have such a benevolent Scrypt-Keeper.... *Ahem* If memory serves, I promised Stefan a weird FASS. I guess this fits the bill? It’s certainly been an experience: I can’t say that I’ve had to herd this many cats before. How we laughed! And groaned, and generally milled about. I hope everyone enjoys the show as much as I do. Until we meet again…..*Screams in terror*

- Rachel Conway, FASS 2016 Chief Script Writer

MESSAGES FROM THE CREATIVE TEAM

I owe immense and unqualified thanks to everyone who has been a part of FASS 2016, including the band in the pit, the actors on the stage, and the crew behind it. I am in awe of their talents, their dedication, their ambition, and their teamwork. Most of all, I am honoured to be a part of their success. Thank You!

- Stefan Verveniotis, FASS 2016 Director

It is with great enjoyment that we have arrived at this point. No one died! The show this year looks and sounds awesome, even though it brings Techies into the light (the daystar burns!). There are a few key people who have helped us reach this point, and I know they know I know they know how much I appreciate their help, as I am continuously thanking them, and they are continuously surprising me with their awesomeness. But it takes more than a few people to put on this type of production, and it is with the help of every single one of us (one of us, one of us) that we can pull off something this FASS-tastic. (not a cult.)

- Clara Walker, FASS 2016 Technical Director

It’s been another great year in the FASS band with the Supersonic Tuba Bladders Colloquially Effecting Chilly, Incomprehensible Mystery Phantoms’ Sleep-Deprived & Twitchy Waffles Heptasyllabically featuring the Furious Purple Aardvark Biscuit (me! Is it a biscuit shaped like an aardvark or a biscuit for an aardvark? Who knows!). Thanks for all of your hard work and for putting up with the constant streams of accidentals, off-beats, and vamps. Enjoy the show!

- Nicole Simone, FASS 2016 Music Director

PART ONE

1-0: WE ARE A SERIOUS THEATRE COMPANY

Leah DeWhitch ...................................................................................................................Diana LobbEmma D. O’Nysswright ................................................................................Stephanie RemingtonJess Herforth O’Perks ...................................................................................................... Julie SturgeonStaye G. Mannajeer .......................................................................... Caroline McLachlan Darling

VIGNETTE 1: I SENSE...A FRAMING DEVICE!

Watt Ch’mee.....................................................................................................................Amos Boratto

1-1: FRAT BOY HADES

Hades............................................................................................................................Wes CampaigneZeus ............................................................................................................................. Brian “Latrell” FoxBro Ski .......................................................................................................................................Drini CamiYeah Mann .................................................................................................................... Kyle RemingtonWippy Angboi .................................................................................................................Jason NeudorfQuipping Quay ........................................................................................................... Rachel ConwayWitty Wade ..............................................................................................................................Violet FanScry Pete Inhaynde .................................................................................................................Tony WolfStaggy MnAnger ............................................................................................Michael L. DavenportExtras ..................................................................................Karl Zaryski, Lily Horne, Rachel Lewis,................................................................................................. Stefan Verveniotis, Katrina Noorduyn

VIGNETTE 2: GOOSEBUMPS - TALES FROM THE SCRYPT-KEEPER

Watt Ch’mee.....................................................................................................................Amos BorattoAlex ............................................................................................................................................Austin LuoPaul the Theatre God ............................................................................................. Brian “Latrell” FoxOfficer ....................................................................................................................................Diana LobbProps Manager .............................................................................................................Shannon RawnMurderer .......................................................................................................................... Harrison GrossGroom .......................................................................................................................................Drini Cami

OPENING NUMBER: “THIS IS HAUNTED FASS”TO “THIS IS HALLOWE’EN” FROM THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS

SONG: “GHOSTS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN”TO “GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN” BY CYNDI LAUPER

SINGERS: Wes Campaigne, Kyle Remington, Drini Cami

1-2: PIRATES...ARRR

Rey Luktint .................................................................................................................... Colleen ColbeckYip P. .................................................................................................................................Diana SkrzydloAda Ceased ...................................................................................................................... Akshay JogooCaptain Swift ...................................................................................................................Monica PiercePolly ..............................................................................................................................R. Brent ClementsDavy Jones ..........................................................................................................................Nigel CampsJava ...................................................................................................................................Shannon RawnFrames ............................................................................................................................ Kyle RemingtonMinions ............................................................................Caroline McLachlan Darling, Violet FanTech Pirates ........................................Nadia Novikova (Emily Crawford)*, Sadru-Dean WaljiStrippers ...............................................................................Marisha Alexander, Wes Campaigne,....................................................................................................................Rachel Lewis, Julie Sturgeon*(One-Night Cover)

VIGNETTE 3: THE STAGE MANAGERS’ PARADE

Punctuality ............................................................................................ Caroline McLachlan DarlingMemory ................................................................................................................ Ramya SaseenthiranIntimidation .......................................................................................................Michael L. DavenportPreparedness ............................................................................................................................Lily Horne

1-3: HOW TO HIDE A BODY - A GUIDE

Debbie .......................................................................................................................Katrina NoorduynDark Lorde ........................................................................................................Michael L. DavenportSir Squats-a-lot ....................................................................................................................... Ian BaxterVera Greene ......................................................................................................................Liz DelahuntyDead Beef ..................................................................................................................... Rachel Conway

VIGNETTE 4: POSSESSORS ANONYMOUS

Gru Pleeder...................................................................................................................... Harrison GrossPoe Zesr .............................................................................................................................Monica PierceNu Tathiss ..................................................................................................................................Tony WolfSpèncer ................................................................................................................Stephanie Remington

SONG: “PIRATE QUEEN”TO “SHAKE IT OFF” BY TAYLOR SWIFT

SINGERS: Monica Pierce, R. Brent Clements, Diana Skrzydlo, Colleen Colbeck

1-4: I SEE FASS PEOPLE

Narrator .............................................................................................................................Polly EdwardsRomiet ...................................................................................................................................Rachel LewisFriendio ...................................................................................................................................... Bilal RazaJulio ........................................................................................................................................ Joseph ChanPaliet .........................................................................................................................................Ray SlejskaDon Actin ............................................................................................................. Sean VanderHeydenActors ................................................................................................Kyle Remington, Julie Sturgeon,.....................................................................................................................Tristan Mills, Minhung LingTechies ...................................... Liz Delahunty, Shannon Rawn, Caroline McLachlan DarlingGroom .......................................................................................................................................Drini CamiCameo .......................................................................................................Special Guest of the Show!

VIGNETTE 5: TUNE IN NEXT TIME...OR ELSE!

Watt Ch’mee.....................................................................................................................Amos BorattoAlex ............................................................................................................................................Austin Luo

INTERMISSION

SELECTIONS OF SONGS:TO “ANGEL OF MUSIC” FROM THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERASINGERS: Ray Slejska, Joseph Chan

TO “WILLKOMMEN” FROM CABARETSINGERS: Liz Delahunty, Shannon Rawn, Caroline McLachlan Darling

TO “CABARET” FROM CABARETSINGERS: Liz Delahunty, Shannon Rawn, Caroline McLachlan Darling, Bilal Raza

TO “MASQUERADE” FROM THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERASINGERS: Sean VanderHeyden, Ray Slejska, Rachel Lewis, Kyle Remington, Julie Sturgeon, Tristan Mills, Liz Delahunty, Shannon Rawn, Bilal Raza, Minhung Ling, Caroline McLachlan Darling

TO “CONFRONTATION” FROM LES MISÉRABLESSINGERS: Joseph Chan, Sean VanderHeyden

PART TWO

2-0: THE ONE WITH THE LARGE CAST

Watt Ch’mee.....................................................................................................................Amos BorattoDoctor Payne ......................................................................................................................Joshua BrachPatient .................................................................................................................................Liz DelahuntyCamper 1 ........................................................................................................................ Rachel ConwayCamper 2 .............................................................................. Sadru-Dean Walji (Katherine Schill)*Ed ............................................................................................................................................. Tristan MillsThelma ..........................................................................................Nadia Novikova (Anna Kreider)*Braggy ...................................................................................................................Brandon James WestScooby .................................................................................................................. Ramya SaseenthiranExtras ........................................................................ Julie Sturgeon, Monica Pierce, Nyssa Tilford*(One-Night Cover)

VIGNETTE 6: WHO’S AFRAID OF PART 2?

Watt Ch’mee.....................................................................................................................Amos Boratto

2-1: SCENE HRNGBGR

Mike Handla ..............................................................................................................Wes CampaigneLuke Forclews .....................................................................................................................Joshua BrachEva Dintz ........................................................................................................................Katherine SchillCameron Action ...................................................................................................................Karl ZaryskiRyan Ginn .......................................................................................................................Emily CrawfordRoman Coke ...........................................................................................................Graeme ThompsonI. Scream ............................................................................................................Liesl Noelle DykemanTowels .....................................................................................................................Mark Jackson-BrownNurse ...................................................................................................... Caroline McLachlan DarlingGiant Chicken ...................................................................................................Michael L. DavenportFabio ..................................................................................................................... Sean VanderHeydenMime ............................................................................................................................... Kyle RemingtonMinions ............................................................................Caroline McLachlan Darling, Violet Fan

RE-OPENING NUMBER: “THIS IS HAUNTED FASS (REPRISE)”TO “BOOGIE WONDERLAND” BY EARTH, WIND & FIRE

VIGNETTE 7: ASSISTANT STAGE MURDERER

Watt Ch’mee.....................................................................................................................Amos BorattoAlex ............................................................................................................................................Austin LuoCutie Kelpie ..............................................................................................................................Lily HorneTar D. Wunn ...................................................................................................................Emily CrawfordGlitter Bugg ..........................................................................................................................Diana LobbAnn Sespectin .................................................................... Rami Finkelshtein (Stefan Verveniotis)*Nick Sna’pe ............................................................................................................................Sean HuntPassers-by .............................................................Karl Zaryski, Akshay Jogoo, Katrina Noordyn,......................................................................Minhung Ling, Diana Skrzydlo, Marisha Alexander *(One-Night Cover)

2-2: PAS RUNNER

Alpha ......................................................................................................................Mark Jackson-BrownBeta ....................................................................................................................................Minhung LingGamma .................................................................................................................................Sarah LewisBraggy ...................................................................................................................Brandon James WestThelma ..........................................................................................Nadia Novikova (Anna Kreider)*Ed ............................................................................................................................................. Tristan MillsScooby .................................................................................................................. Ramya SaseenthiranSister Daphne ....................................................................................................Phoebe Wa-Yun YungScantron ...................................................................................................................................Austin LuoWalls ............................................ Liesl Noelle Dykeman, Emily Crawford, Brian “Latrell” Fox,.....................................................................................................Michael L. Davenport, Karl Zaryski*(One-Night Cover)

VIGNETTE 8: GHOSTING ANONYMOUS

Gru Pleeder...................................................................................................................... Harrison GrossDade Aza Dornayle ............................................................................................... Maahum AhmadNoah Homo ............................................................................................................................ Ian BaxterOpie Boss ................................................................................................................................Sean HuntElle O’El ....................................................................................................................Katrina NoorduynBill Murray ......................................................................................................................... Robert AudasBlaze ..........................................................................................................................Graeme Thompson

SONG: “IF THEY BITE THE DUST TONIGHT”TO “CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT” BY ELTON JOHNSINGERS: Mark Jackson-Brown, Minhung Ling, Sarah Lewis

2-3: THE PHANTOM OF THE MATH BUILDING

Terry Fied ................................................................................................................................... Bilal RazaCount Down ...................................................................................................................... Julie SturgeonBryn Iton ......................................................................................................................... Rebecca RawnManny Ack ............................................................................................................................Cody RawnGilly Bull ...................................................................................................................... Brian “Latrell” FoxFarly D. Ceased ........................................................................................................... Diana SkrzydloNumbers .......................................................................... Colleen Colbeck, Brandon James West,...............................................................................................................................Liesl Noelle DykemanDeath .................................................................................................................. Stephanie Remington

CLOSING NUMBER: “SHUT UP AND FASS (WITH ME)”TO “SHUT UP AND DANCE” BY WALK THE MOON

SONG: “COUNTDOWN FUNK”TO “UPTOWN FUNK” BY MARK RONSON FT. BRUNO MARS

SINGERS: Julie Sturgeon, Bilal Raza

DISCLAIMERS » No animals were harmed in the making of this FASS, including giant chickens.

» Some FASSies may have been harmed in the making of this giant chicken.

» “Bad blood”, “I knew you were trouble”, “Haters gonna hate”, “Never grow up”, “20Swifteen”, “swift”, “pirate queen”, “pirate”, “treasure”, “map”, and “the” are registered trademarks of Taylor Swift, all rights reserved.

» If you want to convert religions in light of this year’s FASS, please see Hades, Sister Daphne, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster after the show.

» FASS would like to remind you that it does not officially endorse any of the previously mentioned religions. The one true god is the Unicorn Mother.

» All resemblances to any persons, living, dead, or fictional, are completely coincidental, with the exception of Thelma, Braggy, Sister Daphne, Ed, and Scooby, who are of course registered trademarks of Taylor Swift.

» FASS is not liable for any potential side effects of attending Who’s Afraid of the FASS, including, but NOT limited to, the following: spontaneous outbursts of song and dance, uncontrollable urges to provide exposition in a sultry baritone, desire to sell one’s soul to their deity of choice, itching, scratching, or the compulsion to go online to www.facebook.com/uwfass and keep up to date on Waterloo’s #1 spookiest amateur theatre company.

THE BAND

“Supersonic Tuba Bladders Colloquially Effecting Chilly, Incomprehensible Mystery Phantoms’ Sleep-Deprived & Twitchy Waffles Heptasyllabically

featuring the Furious Purple Aardvark Biscuit”

Music Director ................................................................................................................Nicole Simone Keyboard .........................................................................................................................Nicole SimoneGuitar...................................................................................................................................Collin RobertsBass Guitar .......................................................................................................... Braden ShepherdsonDrums ...............................................................................................................................Daniel ViggianiFlute ...................................................................................................................................Rebecca RawnClarinet ........................................................................................................................ Daniel PracsovicsAlto Saxophone ........................................................................................................ Daniel Pracsovics Baritone Saxophone .......................................................................................Michael L. DavenportTrumpet ....................................................................George Baxter, Sri Ram Prince, Kaillie RawnTrombone .....................................................................Cody Rawn, Brian Forbes, Harrison GrossTuba ................................................................................................................................. Nicholas Boyko

CREDITSFASS 2016 COMMITTEEPresident .......................................................................................................................Rami FinkelshteinVice President ...................................................................................................................... James NicollProducer .................................................................................................................................. Tristan Mills Treasurer ...................................................................................................................................Sean HuntCompany Coordinator...................................................................................................Melinda MahChief Script Writer ....................................................................................................... Rachel ConwayDirector ........................................................................................................................Stefan Verveniotis Technical Director ..............................................................................................................Clara WalkerStage Manager ........................................................................................................Elizabeth McFaulRepresentatives.................................................................................Sadru-Dean Walji, Emily Pass,...........................................................................................................Emily Crawford, Katherine SchillPast President ..........................................................................................................................Sean HuntPast Producer .............................................................................................................Elizabeth McFaulPast Director ................................................................................................................Rami FinkelshteinPast Stage Manager ................................................................................................Nadia NovikovaPast Technical Director ....................................................................................................Katey BenderPast Chief Script Writer ..................................................................................Michael L. DavenportMember at Large .............................................................................................................Nyssa Tilford

CREATIVE TEAMDirector ........................................................................................................................Stefan VerveniotisAssistant Directors .................................Emily Crawford, Katherine Schill, Sadru-Dean WaljiMusic Director ................................................................................................................Nicole SimoneVocal Coaches ................................................................... Allison Bender, Shannon Broekhoven,...............................................................................Daniel Plamenco, Colleen Colbeck, Sean HuntSong Arrangements .......................................................Nicole Simone (Opening, 1-1, 1-2, 1-4), ............................................................................ Daniel Viggiani (2-0, 2-3), Allison Bender (2-2),............................................................................................................................George Baxter (Closing)Stage Manager ........................................................................................................Elizabeth McFaulAssistant SMs ....................................................Emily Pass, Megan Redwood, Katherine SchillTechnical Director ..............................................................................................................Clara WalkerAssistant Technical Directors ............................................................ Jackie Robinson, MJ WatsonChoreographers ............................................................................................................Emily CrawfordAssistant Choreographers ..............................Rachel Conway, Lisa Massaro, Anne Vandrus,.................................................................................................R. Brent Clements, Sebastian Mateus

PRODUCTIONProducer .................................................................................................................................. Tristan MillsAssistant Producer ..................................................................................................................Emily PassCompany Coordinator...................................................................................................Melinda MahPoster and T-Shirt Design ...............................................................................................Nyssa TilfordProgramme ..................................................................................................Evan Jones, Nyssa TilfordPromoters ............................................Julie Sturgeon, Katherine Schill, Michael L. Davenport,..........................................................................................................Nyssa Tilford, Sadru-Dean Walji,...........................................................................................Stefan Verveniotis, Stephanie RemingtonMarketer ................................................................................................................Mark Jackson-Brown

WRITING TEAMChief Script Writer ....................................................................................................... Rachel ConwayWriters ......................................................................Akshay Jogoo, Allison Bender, Anna Kreider,...........................................................Anthony Hall-Kennedy, Brian “Latrell” Fox, Clara Walker,...........................................................................Colleen Colbeck, David Brubacher, Diana Lobb,.................................................Elizabeth McFaul, Emily Crawford, Emily Pass, Evelyn Barber,...............................................................Gavin Craig, George Baxter, Henry Truong, Ian Baxter,.................................................. James Nicoll, Jessica Schmidt, Josh Cameron, Kaitlyn Demasi,.......................................................Katey Bender, Katherine Schill, Kit Kreider, Komal Sandhu,......................................................... Kyle Golubovic, Marisha Alexander, Mark Jackson-Brown,...........................................................Megan Redwood, Melinda Mah, Michael L. Davenport,..................................................Michael Hay, Nadia Navikova, Nyssa Tilford, Polly Edwards,................................................................... Rami Finkelshtein, Sadru-Dean Walji, Sarah Gawley,........................................................Sarah Rodrigues, Shannon Broekhoven, Stefan Verveniotis,.............................................................................. Susan Klaeisath, Tristan Mills, Wes Campaigne

TECH CREWTechnical Director ..............................................................................................................Clara WalkerAssistant Technical Directors ............................................................ Jackie Robinson, MJ WatsonLighting Design ..................................................................................................................Joshua BrachLighting Operation .................................................Joshua Brach (Part 1), Rachel Lewis (Part 2)Sound Effects Design ............................................................... Amos Boratto, R. Brent ClementsSound Effects Operation .........................Graeme Thompson (Part 1), Joseph Chan (Part 2)Sound Setup .............................................................................................................R. Brent ClementsSound Recording (DVDs) .....................................................................................R. Brent ClementsSound Mixing .................................................................................................................George WalkerVideo Recording ..............................................................................................................Melinda MahFly Operators ....................................... Mark Jackson-Brown (Part 1), Shannon Rawn (Part 2)Follow Spot Operation .....................................................................................................Sarah LewisProps Coordinator ..........................................................................................................Anton MarkovCostume Coordinator ...........................................................................................Marisha AlexanderCostumes Assistant...........................................................................................................Anna KreiderCostumes ..................................................................Anna Kreider, Caroline McLachlan Darling,............................................................................................Diana Skrzydlo, Drini Cami, Evan Jones,.....................................................................James Nicoll, Katrina Noorduyn, Maahum Ahmad,..............................................................................Monica Pierce, Rami Finkelshtein, Sarah Baillie,............................................................ Shannon Rawn, Stephanie Remington, Wes Campaigne Make-up Artist .................................................................................................................Anne VandrusHair .................................................................................................................................. Rachel ConwayKey Grip .................................................................................................................... Darcy Vander PrytGrips .............................................................Akshay Jogoo, Amie Shepherdson, Andrew Leong,.......................................................................................................... Brian “Latrell” Fox, Clara Walker,......................................................................................Evan Jones, Jackie Robinson, Julie Sturgeon,.......................................................Katrina Noorduyn, Kyle Hickinbottom, Marisha Alexander,..................................................................................... MJ Watson, Nyssa Tilford, Rami Finkelstein,..................................................................... Samantha Rew, Shannon Rawn, Stefan Verveniotis,................................................................................................................Tristan Mills, Wes Campaigne Builders/Painters .....................................Andrew Leong, Amie Shepherdson, Anton Markov,.................................................................................... Austin Luo, Brandon James West, Brian Fox,...................................................................................Chris Alexander, Clara Walker, Corey Cohen,.............................................................................Dan Brotherson, Darcy Vander Pryt, Drini Cami,.....................................................................................Evan Jones, George Walker, Harrison Gross,.............................................................................Heather Vovko, Jackie Robinson, Jason Neudorf,........................................................................................ Joseph Chan, Julie Sturgeon, Kaillie Rawn,....................................................................... Katherine Schill, Katrina Noorduyn, Kimberly Kerr,..............................................................Maahum Ahmad, Mark Jackson-Brown, Melinda Mah,.........................................................................Michael L. Davenport, MJ Watson, Nyssa Tilford,............................................................................ Robert Audas, Ryan Consell, Sadru-Dean Walji,........................................................................Samantha Rew, Shannon Rawn, Wes Campaigne

SPECIAL THANKS TOM&T Printing for printing the posters and programs.Staples for their help with printing the scripts.Peter B. Carette and Melissa Zarnke for all their help in the theatre.Evelyn Barber, Angela Keeley, Sarah Rodrigues, Gavin Craig, Amos Boratto, Robert Audas, Matthew Wiebe and R. Brent Clements for their contributions.Dave Jaworsky (Mayor of Waterloo), Jean Andrey (Dean of Environment), Douglas Peers (Dean of Arts) and Bardish Chagger (MP/Minister for Small Business and Tourism) for their special guest appearances in the show.

ABOUT FASSThe FASS Theatre Company is serious about having fun - we’re a live cartoon on stage! We’ve been entertaining UW and the local community with musical comedy since 1962.

While the most fun occurs in January when over 100 cast and crew members rehearse and prepare the show just in time for February, you can join us at other times to get involved. Applications for the positions of Director, Technical Director, Producer and Treasurer are due in late February.

For more information on becoming part of the show, visit our website at: www.fass.uwaterloo.ca, or contact us by email at: info@fass.uwaterloo.ca. You can also find us on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube!

UW THEATRE CENTREDirector of Theatre Operations ............................................................................... Peter B. CaretteFront of House Manager ........................................................................................... Melissa Zarnke

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO SEE THE SHOW!

SEE YOU AGAIN NEXT YEAR!

PHANTOMArtwork: Nyssa Tilford

GHOST STORYArtwork: Nyssa Tilford

DEATHArtwork: Nyssa Tilford

FASS.UWATERLOO.CA