FCLU 3401 Unit3 Resources Key 06

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ELC3401 Sept 2006

English in the Workplace for FCLU Students

Unit 3 Writing Workplace Reports

Resources

Section 1

Exercise: proofreading the introduction section of reports

1. This report presents findings on work-related stress. The causes and categories of work

related stress can be identified with data evidence from various sources. Moreover, the

effects on people working under stress have been also outlined.

- Word order: 'have also been' is more acceptable.

2. Being employees in Hong Kong, everyone buried his head in working. As a result of

heavy workloads, employees often suffer from work-related stress.

- to bury ones head in work is not a logical consequence of being employees in Hong

Kong; there is a problem of coherence here.- so a more lucid paraphrase would be: Every employee in Hong Kong buries his head

in work. This gets round the further problem of failed agreement of plural countable

employees with singular everyone.

- in workinstead of in working (cf. noun phrase following 'bury your head in X in theexpression to bury one's head in the sand).

3. There is two significant news about safety last month. They have both been welcomed by

construction contractors.

- the past simple of the verb to be should be used;

- news is uncountable, and might be replaced by a phrase rendering it countable, e.g.

pieces of news, or possibly news items; and thus There were two news items.

4. The aim of this report is to examine the ways to prevent computer-related illness in the

company. The findings and recommendations made in this report are based on material

available from websites and from the literature on ergonomics.

- Omit thein the ways: no particular and exclusive ways are being held in mind.

5. I will try to identify which types of illness are commonly occurred among computer

users.

- Occur cannot be passive, must be active; so: types of illness commonly occur.

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- Presumably aimedshould be aim, in the present simple tense, if the writer meansthat it is a fact that the staff support mechanisms aim to do so.

C.

1. According to the statistic of the Labour Department, it shows that the constructionindustry is the most dangerous industry comparing to the other major industries in the

past decade. There were 19588 cases of accidents and 56 fatal accident settled in 1998.

2. According to Labour Department statistics, the construction industry has been the most

dangerous of all major industries in the past decade. In 1998, 19588 accidents and 56 fatal

accidents occurred.

Text 2 is better because:

1.) Labour Department statistics avoids incorrect use of the first occurrence of

the in the statistic of the Labour Department.

2.) 'Statistics' is normally plural.3.) The present perfect is correctly used to express facts - important for now -which extend from the past up to the present.

4.) In text 1, the phrase comparing to is inaccurate: compared with or compared

to are acceptable comparative phrases, something being compared to or withsomething else (for these two possibilities and examples, refer students to the

VLC' s Web Concordancer: keyword 'compared'). But the phrase the most + adj+ of all (+ noun plural) is more concise.

5.) The second instance of accident in text 1 should be plural (countable).

6.) It is unclear why the writer chose the verb settled here: perhaps occur, asaccidents occur or happen, is appropriate.

D. The aim of this report is to examine ways to prevent the accident rate in the construction

industry. The accident rate in 1998 was 247.93 per 1000 workers, higher then the average

rate during the previous five years by 3%.

- The verb prevent cannot be used with rate here; accidents can be prevented; or thenumber of accidents can be reduced; the accident rate itself is expressible in numerical

terms: it cannot of itself be prevented or stopped.

Section 2 Exercises: writing introductions

Part 1 Suggested answers

This report (1) was requested by Dr. P. Lui of our Security Services Section at Bigbuild on 10

June 2005. It (2) analyses in detail the problem of office security, following a number of

incidents that (3) occurred during the last three months. The report (4) aims at raising staff

awareness of office safety procedures and (5) recommending a sensible approach to security

in the workplace.

Part 2 Suggested answer

Correct order of sentences: 3 1 4 2 6 5

(3) The purpose of this report is to present the results of a survey on the popularity of ZAP

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portable phones in Hong Kong.

(1) The survey was conducted between 1 June and 30 September 2001.

(4) It solicited responses from a total of 5000 firms that have sold the phones to the public

in the last year.

(2) Of these companies, 4892 responded by returning a completed questionnaire.

(6) Subsequently, short interviews were conducted with respondents at 10 selectedcompanies to amplify the information provided in the questionnaire.

(5) A parallel study is planned for next year.

Part 3 Suggested answers

be present write reach read request interview find

This report (1) has been written in response to a request for an investigation into the disappearance of

certain company property over the last six months. It (2) was requested by the General Manager, Mr.Jack So and (3) and was to be read by all senior staff. The following (4) presents a brief account of the

circumstances.

On 14 July 2005 it (5) was found that the following items (6) were missing from the stockrooms:

2 IBM notebook computers

2 HP laser printers

1 Standard microwave oven

Staff (7) were interviewed by the police the following day and certain conclusions (8) were reached.

The report (9) presents these and makes recommendations for ensuring this does not recur.

Section 6

Exercise

1. a) benefited / have benefited

b)

2. a) benefited / has benefited

b)

3. a) need

b)

4. a) need to be given

b)

5. a) has resulted

b)

6. a) proved

b)

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7. a)

b) am convinced

8. a) agree

b) are agreed (agreed is used as a participial adjective)

9. a) worry

b) are worried

c) relocating

d) being relocated

Section 7

1. dissatisfied

2. to satisfy

3. unsatisfactory

4. satisfactory5. satisfactory

6. dissatisfaction

7. satisfy

8. satisfied

9. satisfied

10. satisfied/dissatisfied

11. dissatisfied

12. satisfied

Section 5 Exercise: proofreading the Findings section

A. (page 129)

1. The number of industrial fatalities in the construction industry in 1998 was higher by

6.9% than the average for the previous five years, whereas the industrial fatality rate in

the construction industry in 1998 was 0.709 per 1000 workers, slightly lower (0.032) than

the average rate in the previous five years. However, this does not suggest that safety in

the construction industry have to be improved.

- Final sentence: 'safetyhasto be improved'.

2. The mean score of 16 sources of stress are listed in Table 2 in descending order. It can be

seen that only items 1 to 7 scored more than 4. The mid-point on the scale, i.e.3, indicated

that the item was a source of stress.

- 'The meanscores of 16 sources of stress are listed

3. Only 17% of employees derived satisfaction from their work. This showed that only the

minority of respondents was generally satisfied with their work.

- the minority of respondents weregenerally satisfied with their work.

4. The overall outcome of the findings seems to be that work-related stress pose a threat to

the physical and mental health of employees as well as to the productivity of the

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company.

- work related stressposes a threat

B.1. The number of industrial fatalities in the construction industry in 1998 was higher by

6.9% than the average for the previous five years. Whereas the industrial fatality rate in

the construction industry in 1998 was 0.709 per 1000 workers, slightly lower (0.032) than

the average rate in the previous five years. However, this does not suggest that safety in

the construction industry have to be improved.

- The whereas clause must be added on to the previous clause/sentence. Whereascannot be used in a dependent clause unless linked within the same sentence to a main

clause.

C.1. As the findings in Chart1 show, percentage responses to the amount of stress experienced

were as follows: 12% experienced no stress, 33% little stress, 36% average stress, 12% a

fairly high level of stress and 4% a lot. The result reflected that in our company, a total of

88% of our employees had work-related stress at different levels.

- The verb reflected in reflected that needs replacing with showed or indicated.

2. This equipment can give additional protection. With the design of safety equipment, the

correct procedure for using the equipment should be installed into the workers in order to

increase the protective efficiency of the equipment.

- The verb installed should be replaced by the verb instilled.

D.

1. The findings in Table 1 below summarise the main types of accident in the construction

site. The main causes of these accidents can be explained as follows: one reason is the

poor condition of sites.

- In the first sentence: the main types of accidenton the construction site'

2. The chances of workers stepping on or striking against objects are much higher. Thehighest percentage of workers injured by striking against or being struck by moving

objects represents a significant reason of workplace injuries.

- Last sentence: 'reasonforworkplace injuries'.

Section 6 Exercise: making suggestions and recommendations

1. I suggest you find

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Documents

FCLU 3401 Unit3 Resources Key 06