Family Violence Summit2017 Summary of views from the day and online submissions

Stock photo. Posed by model

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Stock photo. Posed by models

CONTENTS

About the Summit 2

Overview of responses 3

Helping children and their whānau to live without family violence 4

Kaupapa Māori whānau-centred approaches 7

Taking opportunities to intervene earlier 9

Supporting seniors, people with disabilities and migrant communities 12

Appendix 1: Profile of involvements listed by online submitters 14

Appendix 2: Personal experiences included in submissions 15

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ABOUT THE SUMMIT

A Family Violence Summit was held in Wellington on 7 June 2017. This one-day event was chaired by Sir Wira Gardiner and co-hosted by Justice Minister Amy Adams and Social Development Minister Anne Tolley.

The Summit was an opportunity for people from across the sector to come together and build on the conversations to date about breaking the patterns of family violence and working together effectively. Participants took part in one of each of four workshops with the following themes:

• Helping children and their whānau to live without family violence

• Kaupapa Māori whānau-centred approaches

• Taking opportunities to intervene earlier

• Supporting seniors, people with disabilities and migrant communities.

Information about the Summit, including video of Ministers and keynote speakers is available at www.justice.govt.nz/fv-summit.

As not everyone could be invited, an online survey was also provided to allow anyone to give their views on the four Summit themes or to make a general comment. This report summarises the views received in both the Summit workshops and the online submissions.

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Views were received from 87 people online, and 120 people attended the Summit.

Over one third of the online submissions were from individuals, and almost two thirds were from people affiliated in some way with an organisation. About 20 percent were representing the views of an organisation.

These organisations included health organisations, family violence service providers, training providers, restorative justice groups, and organisations focused on children, girls, women or men. Some people were affiliated with multiple organisations.

Organisation affiliations of online survey respondents

OVERVIEW OF RESPONSES

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HELPING CHILDREN AND THEIR WHĀNAU TO LIVE WITHOUT FAMILY VIOLENCE

There was a wide range of responses to the theme of helping children and their whānau to live without family violence. These included ideas about prevention, comments on the responsiveness of whānau, the community and the family court system, and comments on wider contextual issues, such as mental health, poverty and addiction.

Themes emerging from the online submissions and discussion at workshops were:

• the need for widespread understanding of all forms of violence, including the immediate and ongoing effects, as well as understanding that an ineffective response may prolong and exacerbate the effects of violence. It was suggested that understanding could be improved through the school system, and through the education of new parents, those involved in the justice system (judges, lawyers and court staff), and the public via campaigns, such as ‘It’s not OK’. Some said the focus of campaigns should be widened to include psychological abuse and bullying. Any campaign should provide models of respectful behaviour and give guidance on how to respond to violence

• the current system is not working well, and new, proven ways of doing things need to be identified and implemented. Some said that input from those who had experienced violence was vital, rather than a system designed only by people who were part of the existing system

(meaning both government officials as well as existing family violence service providers). Some referred to this as bottom up rather than top down planning. Some said funding models should accommodate local solutions. The need for improved partnering between NGOs and the state was frequently mentioned

• there needs to be much better coordination between agencies to provide services to suit the needs of individual families (wraparound services), and no wrong door for those who seek help (either as victims, or those who are worried about their own or another person’s behaviour). Some described current services as siloed and patch protecting, and said this was in part due to a competitive funding model. However, specialist family violence service providers were vital, and this specialisation could not be replaced by generalist service providers

• the need for a whole family /whānau or whānau ora approach, which should acknowledge that families may or may not wish to stay together

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• the need for adequate and stable resourcing. Some suggested that a cross-party approach needs to be taken so that agencies have a stable funding base when governments change

• the skill base of those responding to family violence needs to be improved, including those in key community roles (such as church leaders and sports coaches). Some said family violence professionals should have a deep understanding of all forms of family violence and its effects on the behaviour of victims, perpetrators, children and whānau. Building on the workforces’ competencies was vital

• that victims should be believed and adequately responded to. A few submitters said that they had not been believed because their abusive partners could present themselves well, were articulate and had money

• there was dissatisfaction expressed by some with the Family Court. There was criticism of the legal and adversarial approach to family violence. Some said there was a lack of understanding about the effects of violence among judges, lawyers and court officials, a lack of advocacy or voice given to victims in proceedings, and that there was potential for legal processes to prolong or exacerbate violence. Some said this was in the form of being denied access to children, while others said an abusive partner with financial resources had been able to prolong proceedings

• the need for additional focus on children’s safety and wellbeing. This included more services, such as counselling and more support through court processes. Several submitters said that court processes had resulted in their children spending time with an unsafe parent

• the need to appreciate that violence was related to wider issues, such as economic hardship, mental illness, addiction issues and problem gambling, and that it was important to address these alongside any response to family violence.

Many submitters said that children and whānau could be helped by education programmes, which started early in primary schools or even in early childhood education. This would help break an intergenerational cycle of violence, and guide people toward help.

Suggested prevention initiatives in the education system included a focus on:

• recognising violence and what healthy and unhealthy relationships or behaviours look like. For example, educating young people on signs of an unhealthy relationship, such as coercive control and jealousy

• emotional well being

• conflict resolution skills

• where to get help if worried about safety. This included educating school children to know that violence at home is not normal and that it is right to speak out.

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Some emphasised that resources should not be based on the decile system as family violence occurs across income brackets. While those in higher income brackets may have more resources (for example to go to a motel rather than a refuge), the effects on children were the same.

‘In my experience, a lot of families who live with family violence believe that this is normal, that this happens in every family. It is therefore important to educate people about healthy relationships, about conflict resolution, about walking away from a situation instead of getting violent.’

‘We need education in schools so our tamariki grow up knowing the red flags and signs of abuse and how they can overcome it and have a voice.’

‘We have been doing lots of work with victims, but really the solution sits with prevention and stopping the offending before it starts. Therefore, more time and money needs to be used in programmes that target children and families and how we bring up our children in a respectful and caring way and teach them right from wrong.’

A few submitters mentioned that they had come to realise their own childhoods were violent only when trying to protect themselves and their children from a violent or manipulative partner in adulthood.

The need for broader education on recognising the different forms of violence was mentioned. Suggestions included understanding the links between mental health and family violence, and giving information to young or soon-to-be parents about the importance of protecting children from violence – some suggested this should be compulsory.

Some gave views on the factors they thought contributed to violence, and the type of response they thought was appropriate. This included wider factors such as poverty, addiction and mental health issues as well as the personal abuse history of perpetrators who had themselves been victims.

‘Violence occurs when disorganised attachment and generational violence has left violent partners with poor emotional regulation and reflective skills. Most parents want to give their children a better life and love their children. A moralistic and behavioural approach to working with family members is not effective and arouses defences. Rather they need to feel understood and learn to observe their emotional reactions and triggers so that they are not controlled by them and can make more life enhancing choices.’

Some said people needed greater access to legal advice, particularly about how to give evidence and the consequences of not responding to a summons. One submitter said that the longevity of Protection Orders should be addressed by public consultation.

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KAUPAPA MĀORI WHĀNAU-CENTRED APPROACHES

The strongest themes emerging from the written submissions and the workshop discussion on the theme of Kaupapa Māori whānau-centred approaches were:

• that existing approaches have not worked to break the cycle of intergenerational violence or stop over-representation of Māori in family violence statistics. Some emphasised that Māori have been, and continue to be, subject to the effects of colonisation and institutional racism. Some pointed out that several generations of tamariki have been taken into state care, which in turn has not prepared them for parenting and other tikanga Māori, whānau-centred roles and responsibilities

• that decisions about Māori should be made by Māori. Whānau should be properly resourced to participate in planning and decision-making. One submitter said that this is an obligation under the Treaty of Waitangi

• that there is room for more leadership at the iwi, hapu and whānau levels, and for additional role models to emerge

• concern about the removal of children from whānau (either historical or current) by authorities, and instances of children being told they are not wanted at home

• another concern expressed was that perpetrators who had clearly shown they were no longer using violence continued to carry a criminal record throughout their lives, which impacted on their futures in myriad ways, including employment and access to children. The current system did

not allow perpetrators to be redeemed in the eyes of society. This was the case, even when a former perpetrator had since publicly dedicated themselves to stopping family violence

• concern about language and that terms such as ‘perpetrator’ and ‘victim’ are not appropriate in a whānau-centred approach

• concerns about interpretation of gender, such as tane being traditionally associated with being staunch

• that services should be delivered safely and in an acceptable way for whānau and children linked to whānau, ensuring that the rights of children are protected in accordance with the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child

• there was agreement with the Te Whare Tapa Whā approach (Māori model of health with four dimensions (or pou) Taha tinana (physical), Taha wairua (spiritual), Taha whānau (family) and Taha Hinengaro (mental). One submitter suggested the model be introduced at preschools and education sectors for all, not just Māori

• the view that not all Māori are connected with their iwi and some have more whānau support than others. It can be lonely for those that do not have a connection. It was suggested that effort should be put into getting people connected

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• there was a need for services for perpetrators and for young people who were just starting to dabble in harmful behaviour

• there was concern that there is a shortage of services for men wishing to change their behaviour and/or early intervention options for men. This was seen to result in more Māori men going to prison with life-long and disproportionate repercussions.

Other suggestions included holding court for Māori on marae, using schools as a basis for communities, and making more use of role models.

Culturally focused programmes are more likely to be successful and have better uptake for all ethnicities.

Several submissions emphasised the need for flexibility in funding and service provision to allow local solutions to be developed, rather than a top down or blanket national approach. Service providers should meet community needs, rather than community members having to identify which providers offered particular services.

A few submissions emphasised greater collaboration with and between Government and NGOs, taking account of local tikanga. There was a view that tangata whenua should be thought of as a collection of interconnected whānau and lineages rather than as one homogenous group.

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Stock photo. Posed by models8

TAKING OPPORTUNITIES TO INTERVENE EARLIER

This section summarises views about taking opportunities to intervene earlier. There was some overlap between this and other workshop topics, particularly helping children and their whānau to live without violence and Kaupapa Māori whānau-centred approaches.

Themes on this topic included:

• that earlier invention requires better recognition of all forms of violence. This could be achieved through community education interventions and helping individual and community members know how to recognise and respond to violence

• the need for earlier identification of those at risk of carrying out or experiencing family violence, and the provision of a greater range of options for those seeking help to keep themselves or others safe

• improving agency and system responsiveness. This included dissatisfaction with current funding models, which were said to promote competition between agencies and encourage them to work in silos. This resulted in agencies protecting their turf and patch, and referring on people who don’t fit tight criteria

• greater use of mental health assessment tools.

Some views covered the approaches and priorities that should be taken more generally, including:

• keeping victims safe and autonomous

• ensuring perpetrator accountability and monitoring

• reclaiming traditional Māori ideas and ways of being, particularly with regard to wahine and mokopuna – ‘let’s change our normal’

• ensuring that practice models and ways of working include gender analysis, such as concepts of masculinity, gender inequality, and the effects of poverty, discrimination and other inequities

• ensuring the provision of specialist services for children, such as counselling and assessment, for male perpetrators wanting to change their behaviour, and for women perpetrators

• the use of restorative justice approaches where a case is considered suitable for police diversion

• teaching young people to be safe, and also teaching them not to be violent.

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• In addition to prevention initiatives focused on stopping all violent behaviour, more work was needed to help the public recognise and respond to family violence in particular, and to be active rather than passive bystanders. Some suggested TV or social media campaigns should take a wider approach than physical abuse, and should focus on modelling positive and respectful relationships.

• It was suggested that young parents should be taught about the damaging effects on children of witnessing abuse.

‘Starting at conception, attending practical parenting courses (including positive skill practices) and completing practical assignments, such as simulating stressful situations in a family and using a simple set of parenting skills should be a free option alongside antenatal classes.’

‘Government services are usually the last to know if there is family violence, and then only when it has escalated to the point that someone is in imminent danger. Friends, family, neighbours, and colleagues see early warning signs and if they can be encouraged to act, then we have an opportunity to intervene earlier and a better chance of creating change.’

• Some views focused on the advantages of being able to respond to violence early.

‘The sooner after an experience of violence that a person gets help, the less likely they are to internalise cognitive distortions and to have the experience frame their being. Less delay, less to undo.’

‘Early intervention and its predecessor primary prevention are pivotal to long term, sustainable, positive societal change. They need to be resourced and developed with as much seriousness as after the fact services.’

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• Other ideas included online reporting options for victims and other use of technologies, such as an app alarm button, or clothing with an inbuilt panic alarm.

• There were suggestions about a compulsory question on Work and Income financial support application forms asking whether family violence is present, accompanied by training for staff to enable them to respond.

• Another idea was to make free GP visits available to those affected by family violence. GPs would have contact details of all local support groups, including those for older people, people with disabilities and migrant communities. However, another submission pointed out that men aged between 15 and 35 may not see a GP regularly and therefore other ways of reaching men were needed. Education of sports coaches, church leaders and other community leaders on better recognition and response to violence was suggested.

• One submitter said nurses were among the most trusted professionals and should receive training on identifying problems that may be occurring within a family. Suggested settings included: midwife home visits, when giving vaccinations or taking smears, assessments of the elderly, sexual health clinics, and emergency departments. Another submission suggested that nurses could take a greater role in exploring whether family violence was a factor in all admissions to paediatric wards.

Other views related to the responsiveness of the system for both victims and perpetrators.

• There was a lack of services or funding for potential perpetrators who might be concerned about their own behaviour as a result of campaigns such as ‘It’s Not OK’, but before violence has occurred.

• It was suggested that if judges, lawyers and other Family Court staff received more training on all forms of family violence, there would be less likelihood of manipulation of the court by perpetrators.

• Another view was that school staff should be helped to understand the intent of Protection Orders.

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SUPPORTING SENIORS, PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES AND MIGRANT COMMUNITIES

Although many views about supporting seniors, people with disabilities and migrant communities were similar to those already raised, it was clear that for these groups the issues were compounded by additional challenges, such as isolation. Some participants said that there was a dearth of services for these groups and it was more a case of ‘no door at all’ than ‘no wrong door’.

• Some noted that there is more abuse of men among seniors and people with disabilities than in the general population.

• An individual agency was needed to ensure that marginalisation was prevented, and that work to assist vulnerable adults was properly coordinated across all agencies. Seniors, people with disabilities and migrant communities should be well represented on expert design groups and in other formal government policy-making.

• It was particularly important that data collection took account of victimisation, rather than simply depending on crime statistics, as abuse among these populations was significantly under-reported. Without collection of wider victimisation data, services to these groups would be insufficient.

• Some online submissions simply indicated that it was important to support these groups. A few submissions widened the discussion to include other marginalised groups, such as the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex community, those from other culturally and

linguistically diverse backgrounds, those living in geographically isolated positions, and women living with unemployed partners.

• Dependence on other people (particularly for older people and those with disabilities) and isolation (by all groups) were two suggestions for why these groups may be particularly vulnerable. Older people and those with disabilities may be isolated because of mobility issues, while migrants may be isolated because of language and cultural issues.

‘These are vulnerable groups because they are often socially isolated and excluded already. We need to focus on encouraging our community to take responsibility for building relationships and support networks. Violence exists in silence, and if these people are isolated and have no-one to talk to, there is a bigger risk of violence and they are less likely to seek help.’

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• It was noted by a few that the term ‘family violence’ does not adequately cover caregivers who are from outside the family.

• Some said greater community inclusiveness, through providing a greater range of activities for individuals and groups to participate in would help reduce social isolation, improve people’s sense of belonging and increase support for them.

• Some noted that as older people and those with disabilities have higher levels of dependence on caregivers, both inside and outside the family, this brings frustration for those with dependence and also those providing care.

• One submitter suggested that pain and disability can place a lot of strain on families, which can result in anger and abuse through misunderstanding of illness or conditions. It was suggested that carers and families need more education on invisible illnesses or conditions (such as fibromyalgia, pain, chronic fatigue syndrome and diabetes) as these can affect interpersonal interactions.

• Language was identified as a key barrier for migrant communities. Some said information about the nature of violence and resources and services should be provided in several languages.

• Several submitters pointed out that some migrants come from countries with different norms of behaviour and different attitudes towards women and children.

• Some suggested that community leaders were an important way of preventing and responding to family violence among

migrant communities and that faith or religious leaders might be an important channel to provide assistance.

‘At the moment, Shakti is the go to service for migrant communities, however we also need more migrant community leaders to talk about family violence and lead discussions around cultural dynamics/roles/beliefs and how some of these may be at odds with New Zealand legislation.’

‘Migrant communities need first to understand that domestic violence is not ok as many of them have come from countries without domestic violence laws or where women are treated as second class. A printed brochure on a shelf somewhere does not cut it. These communities need to be targeted directly.’

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Note: Submitters could list as many involvements as they wished.

INVOLVEMENT NUMBER

Someone directly affected by family violence 35

Service provider

• victims 31

• children 24

• perpetrators 19

• men’s services 19

• women’s services 19

• kaupapa Māori services 7

• Pasifika and/or migrant communities 8

• other 12

Health sector 14

Sexual violence sector 13

Justice sector 13

Education sector 9

Academic / researcher 8

Government / Crown agent / local government 8

Whānau Ora provider 5

Iwi / Māori 5

Sector body 3

Other 14

Not answered 3

ALL SUBMITTERS 87

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Profile of involvements listed by online submitters

APPENDIX 1

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Personal experiences included in submissions

Here are some of the personal experiences of the family violence system that submitters described.

‘Emotional, psychological and coercive control is abuse and it is real. More information advertising what to look for, including “gas lighting”,1 is crucial to people’s mental state and self-esteem. New Zealand seems so far behind from other nations with knowledge and acceptance on this abuse. I would estimate it is higher than statistics suggest. I have only awoken myself after 15 years of a relationship that I have been gas lighted and emotionally abused. It is insidious and creeps up on you without even realising what is happening.’

‘Signs of what to listen to and observe are important to one’s life and one’s child’s life. If you are not aware of something, you cannot see it. In my own case, this was fact.’

‘I have discovered while recovering from a very violent abusive marriage that my family is just as bad and likely the reason for me ending up with people that treat me like dirt. Growing up I was not given the tools to stand up for myself or my beliefs. I wasn’t allowed to have a voice and what I witnessed and heard seemed normal for me… The social services I’ve been with since my marriage failure have no clue as to the psychological impact that such abuse has on survivors of family and domestic violence.’

‘I have no experience of situations where there has been actual violence. What I see all day is the system being gamed by middle class women mostly, who fabricate claims, based on violence, in order to advance their property of child interests. That the system allows this to happen lessens the public faith in the justice system and wastes resources.’

1 ‘Gas lighting’ is a term used to describe a form of emotional abuse where a person is made to doubt themselves or question their account of events.

APPENDIX 2

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‘Members of communities need to be sticky beaks because if we aren’t then we are just ignoring the problem and that makes us all just as guilty as the perpetrators. There are many barriers preventing women leaving a violent home. My experience has been that those women who have a skilled advocate walking beside them are more likely to break the cycle of violence for their whānau.’

‘My experience to date is that adult victims are given much more comprehensive support than children. However, the reality is that family violence is intergenerational in many situations and intervening early and comprehensively with our children could assist in stopping this trend.’

‘The most common debate I find myself in. Usually with people who have never experienced domestic violence themselves ever. This will be a never-ending circle of protection, guilt, fear and dependence for as long as people who think they know what they are talking about try to reach out to victims of abuse.’

‘We are men who have been there, done that. We have surrendered and become safe men in our families and communities and as champions teach others not to do as we did by seminars, stand-up speeches, and one-on-ones or classroom question and answers. We try to get the children involved as much as possible as they are the key to a violence-free future.’

‘When I told the kaupapa Māori whānau-centred approaches the violence that I was living with from my husband, they just started abusing and degrading me… I was very disappointed as I thought that they would have some progressive and advanced way of addressing a man’s domestic violence… I was shocked and concerned that it was just more of the same ignorance… i.e. why don’t you leave?’

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‘I’ve been trying for early intervention for forty years but no positive help… in fact even get blamed for the perpetrator’s violence… the victim bashing and blaming game has got to stop and so has the violence… which tends to become the ‘white elephant’ in the corner that everyone is pussyfooting around and using all sorts of euphemisms for but never addressing and never stopping… take opportunities to intervene early… make it mandatory to listen to victims… and stop all those with stereotypes about domestic violence from working in the industry and having lead roles in the industry.’

‘To support the elderly, disabled and migrant communities is important. I’m getting elderly now and my eldest child assaulted me the other week. That’s what happens when the perpetrator “gets away” with domestic violence then the children collude with him the perpetrator, because he has the power, and start copying… as they believe their dad’s stories, or do they collude with him to keep safe… whatever the reason it is very painful and as women age, the danger from the second generation of domestic violence perpetrators becomes more dangerous, too, as if the first generation of domestic violence wasn’t dangerous and terrifying enough…’

Some stories have been changed to remove identifying details.

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Stock photo. Posed by models