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MARCH 2014 The other morning I was having breakfast at a Cracker Barrel, and a young couple was seated near me. In the course of their breakfast, he stood up and raised his voice so the whole dining room could hear. He said, “My name is Earl, and this is Kathy. She has made me real happy. I would like to ask her to make me happy for the rest of my life. I love you, Kathy. I would like to ask you to marry me.” He then got down on one knee and gave her an engagement ring. She burst into tears, and the whole restaurant burst into applause. It was a special moment! My first reaction to it was, “I think I could have come up with a more romantic place and time to ask my girlfriend to marry me than in a Cracker Barrel at breakfast time. Pass- ing a diamond ring over a bunch of hash browns just doesn’t seem to be the ‘right moment’ to me.” However, perhaps the young man knew something I didn’t know. Maybe they had their first date in that Mt. Juliet Cracker Barrel, or perhaps the first time he told her he loved her was right there at that table. Then again, perhaps the young man realized something beautiful. That is, ordinary places can become sacred spaces. What makes moments sacred is the special love expressed, and thereby the moment becomes holy. Jesus was the founder and creator of such an idea. Through His indefatigable love, He was able to forever alter the per- ception of an instrument of capital punishment called a cross. Now, centuries later, the cross is a lovely, cherished Christian symbol. You and I have had special holy moments that, upon first glance, the surroundings wouldn’t dictate sacredness; but be- cause of our contact with God, those ordinary places became sacred places. When the love or our Holy Lord shows up, even a Cracker Barrel can become a sanctuary. This is true of rough-hewn alters, Lazy Boy chairs, and the bedsides of dy- ing loved ones. When love shows up, God shows up; and the mundaneness of life becomes majesty. What places can become sacred in your home, as you model discipleship to your family? Could it be on your knees beside your child at bedtime? Could it be the dining room table dur- ing family devotions? Open your eyes and heart today to those sacred places and moments that open the door to discipleship. Dr. Bob Broadbooks is the USA/Canada Regional Director for the Church of the Nazarene. Connection SDMI FAMILY DISCIPLESHIP — BEST PRACTICES SUNDAY SCHOOL & DISCIPLESHIP MINISTRIES INTERNATIONAL Ordinary Places...Sacred Spaces by Dr. Robert Broadbooks u OUR ROLE IN DISCIPLING TEENS BY REV. JUSTIN PICKARD........7 u EMBRACING FAMILY DEVOTIONS BY DR. DEAN BLEVINS....5 u ARE YOU PRAYING FOR YOUR FAMILY? BY ALETHA HINTHORN...3

FAMILY DISCIPLESHIP — BEST PRACTICES · Then Sammy understood why the first time he heard the Gospel, he repented and received Christ. Two nights later he was called to preach

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  • MARCH 2014

    The other morning I was having breakfast at a Cracker Barrel, and a young couple was seated near me. In the course of their breakfast, he stood up and raised his voice so the whole dining room could hear. He said, “My name is Earl, and this is Kathy. She has made me real happy. I would like to ask her to make me happy for the rest of my life. I love you, Kathy. I would like to ask you to marry me.” He then got down on one knee and gave her an engagement ring. She burst into tears, and the whole restaurant burst into applause. It was a special moment!

    My first reaction to it was, “I think I could have come up with a more romantic place and time to ask my girlfriend to marry me than in a Cracker Barrel at breakfast time. Pass-ing a diamond ring over a bunch of hash browns just doesn’t seem to be the ‘right moment’ to me.” However, perhaps the young man knew something I didn’t know. Maybe they had

    their first date in that Mt. Juliet Cracker Barrel, or perhaps the first time he told her he loved her was right there at that table. Then again, perhaps the young man realized something beautiful. That is, ordinary places can become sacred spaces. What makes moments sacred is the special love expressed, and thereby the moment becomes holy.

    Jesus was the founder and creator of such an idea. Through His indefatigable love, He was able to forever alter the per-ception of an instrument of capital punishment called a cross. Now, centuries later, the cross is a lovely, cherished Christian symbol.

    You and I have had special holy moments that, upon first glance, the surroundings wouldn’t dictate sacredness; but be-cause of our contact with God, those ordinary places became sacred places. When the love or our Holy Lord shows up, even a Cracker Barrel can become a sanctuary. This is true of rough-hewn alters, Lazy Boy chairs, and the bedsides of dy-ing loved ones. When love shows up, God shows up; and the mundaneness of life becomes majesty.

    What places can become sacred in your home, as you model discipleship to your family? Could it be on your knees beside your child at bedtime? Could it be the dining room table dur-ing family devotions? Open your eyes and heart today to those sacred places and moments that open the door to discipleship.

    Dr. Bob Broadbooks is the USA/Canada Regional Director for the Church of the Nazarene.

    ConnectionSDMIFAMILY DISCIPLESHIP — BEST PRACTICES

    SUNDAY SCHOOL & DISCIPLESHIP

    MINISTRIES INTERNATIONAL

    Ordinary Places...Sacred Spaces by Dr. Robert Broadbooks

    u OUR ROLE IN DISCIPLING TEENS by REV. JUSTIN PICKARD........7

    u EMbRACING FAMILy DEVOTIONS by DR. DEAN bLEVINS....5

    u ARE yOU PRAyING FOR yOUR FAMILy? by ALETHA HINTHORN...3

  • M15 Honoring the Past, Shaping the Future

    A Mid-Quadrennial Conference for the USA/Canada Region February 9-11, 2015 Kansas City, Missouri

    More information available soon at usacanadanazarene.org.

    SDMI USA/Canada District Leadership ConferenceFebruary 9-11, 2015 Kansas City, Missouri

    2

    zing participants. During the every-other-week drive to church for Sunday and Wednesday evening children’s programming, the car radio played Adventures in Odyssey, and they sang scripturally-based songs… “God Made the Moon.” Nightly devotions were held, and the children actively participated in scripture reading and prayer. In every way possible, a Christian worldview was introduced into those three little minds…minds that are “sponges.” The God-directed efforts of those loving grandparents are showing results: the boys love their church friends and the church environment. They have even set up “church” in the grandparents’ basement, complete with puppet shows, Bible readings, “sermons,” and even offerings!

    Realities of today’s culture can be painful. Half of all American chil-dren will witness the breakup of their parents’ marriage1, and 33% of America’s 72 million children will go to bed tonight in a home without their biological father2. Psalm 78 tells us that when fathers and families fail to transmit values and beliefs, future generations pay the price.

    Fractured families on alternate weekends are a reality, and churches must effectively adjust to this bi-weekly attendance so children feel a true part of God’s loving family. As Christians, we also must pray fervently for our families that all children, like the three Hebrew chil-dren, will experience God’s protection from Satan’s fires.

    1 McKinley Irvin Family Law blog posting, October 30, 2012, www.mckinleyirvin.com, quoting findings from the U.S. Bureau of Statistics.2 “How Are Men Doing? The State of Men in America,” David Delk, Man in the Mirror Report, April 16, 2013

    Wm. Marshall Duke is the Church of the Nazarene Prime Time and Men’s Ministries Coordinator.

    A daughter raised in a God-honoring, Christian home…a marriage…a cou-

    ple…three young boys….and then D-I-V-O-R-C-E. That word was foreign to

    her family; but reality set in, and significant, related questions sur-faced. But, the most significant question was, “What about those little boys who, through

    no choosing of their own, are thrust into a part-time parenting experi-ence?”

    Christian grandparenting took on a whole new meaning. No lon-ger was it just supervising the children for a few hours, celebrating birthdays and Christmas, and laughing as they played. Because their daughter had to work to provide adequately for her needs and the needs of the children, the grandparents’ home became a substitute overnight location for the children. Divorce-required “shared parent-ing” makes the children part-time residents in multiple homes. Back and forth they go with exposure to different lifestyles and values….Stop what you’re doing, get your coat on, and grab your toys; it’s time to meet your dad. Painful realities…precious little guys caught up in a lifestyle not of their own making; but God opened an alternative pathway.

    Keenly aware that the “window” for the training and guidance of children closes quickly, the grandparents responded. Being devout Christians who hunger for the boys to know God, they prayed for wisdom and followed the directive from Deuteronomy 6:4-9. They guided scripture memorization, and the children became Bible quiz-

    More information available soon at sdmidlc.nazarene.org.

    FRACTURED FAMILIES AND THE ROLE OF GRANDPARENTS by Wm. Marshall Duke

    UPCOMING EVENTS

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    Recently, several of us had dinner with the international evangelist Sammy Tippit. He said that for years he often stated that he grew up in a secular home with no spiritual heritage. But then he discovered a written description of his grandmother, who died five years before he was born. It referred to her as a woman of prayer and stated that she prayed so fervently the doors of the church shook when she prayed.

    Then Sammy understood why the first time he heard the Gospel, he repented and received Christ. Two nights later he was called to preach. His godly grandmother’s prayers were an-swered, too, for her son. Sammy’s father came to Christ shortly before he died.

    God answered his grandmother’s prayers in greater ways than she could have anticipated. Through her prayers, she made an impact on millions of lives around the world. Sammy has preached in more than 80 countries and in evangelistic stadium events in such places as Russia, Ukraine, Romania, Rio de Janeiro, and Albania. His grandmother was one of those who “were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance” (Hebrews 11:13).

    My grandmother was one, too, who believed for her children, but did not receive the answers except by faith. Two of her four sons were not interested in following Jesus when she died, de-spite her many prayers. However, not many months after her death, Uncle Les came under great conviction. He felt so miserable he went to the doctor, but the doctor found nothing wrong. On Sunday morning, he called Grandma’s pastor and said, “I think I need to pray.” He walked into the church during service and, without stopping to sit down, went to the front and fell at the altar. Not only was his life transformed but also that of future generations.

    Grandma’s other son, Uncle Amos, came to faith in Jesus not long before he passed away. God answers mothers’ prayers. Every burdened groan and tear is too precious to Jesus to waste. Someday, at just the right time, they will be poured out. “The desire of the righteous shall be granted” (Proverbs 10:24). Dear Father, if we knew how wonderful Your plans are for answering our prayers, we would never grow weary of praying.

    Aletha Hinthorn is an author and the founder/director of Come to the Fire conferences.

    In a recent study of today’s college students, Professor Jay Moon discovered that nearly 53% of the students at Asbury were actually oral learners. That is, they prefer

    to listen to what they are learning rather than to read it. This signifi-cant discovery has affected how Professor Moon teaches some of his classes, even to the point of how homework assignments may be com-pleted. The adaptations he has made have dramatically impacted his students and their grades. We cannot let this discovery slip past us, as we have those same students in every one of our homes and churches.

    Many people today gather most of their information from the internet. As a result, they are being referred to as ‘digitoral,’ meaning that their learning comes from both digital and oral sources. How can we engage these young, creative, highly-stimulated minds with the ancient truths of Scripture? In short, how can we speak their language, bring the Bible to life through digital and even oral techniques? Very few of us have the ability to supply our Sunday School teachers with computers or iPads for their class, but all of us can draw from an ancient tech-nique that is finding new interest from today’s digitoral generation.

    Bible Trekking teaches ways to bring stories to life for this creative generation using some of the oldest methods known and one that Jesus popularized…story telling!

    Here are some tips to story telling engagement:

    • Tell the story with excitement. Told stories are best; but if you must read, put some gusto into it!• Review the story to make sure your hearers are with you.• Ask open-ended questions that cause the hearers to enter the story for themselves.• Listen to their observations and ask meaningful follow-up questions.• Draw a scene or act out the story to bring new insights.• Connect the story to today by asking how the story speaks to each person.

    Story telling is an art. We all tell stories every day. To learn more about improving your story telling abilities and how to engage others through this fun, proven method, go to www.bibletrekking.org.

    Rev. Ray Neu is the Oral Language Coordinator for the Church of the Nazarene.

    by Aletha HinthornARE YOU PRAYING FOR YOUR FAMILY?

    by Rev. Ray NeuREACHING “DIGITORAL” YOUTH

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    I would like to ask a few questions...

    What kind of family did Jesus grow up in? Did he live in a typi-cal middle-class home in Nazareth? What do you know about his brothers and sisters? How many other children do you think

    could have been in his house? Did Jesus ever experience sibling rivalry or jealousy?

    How did the siblings feel about their big brother? Do you think there was

    ever any conflict or tension in the home?

    What kind of relationship did Je-sus have with his family?

    How much did Mary and Joseph tell Jesus about the circumstanc-es of his birth? At what point

    in Jesus’ life did Mary tell him about Gabriel suddenly appearing

    to her? Did she tell him what the an-gel told her? (See Luke 1.)

    Did Mary tell Jesus that the Lord God was going to make him a mighty king over the peo-

    ple of Israel, just as his ancestor David was? Did she tell him that his kingdom would never end?

    What did Joseph tell Jesus about how the shepherds showed up at the stable the night he was born? How much did Joseph tell him of what the shepherds said about the baby in the manger and what had happened in the fields? Did Joseph tell him the whole story or just part of it? (See Luke 2.) How much time passed before Jesus realized that Joseph was not his “real” father?

    When Jesus questioned Mary and Joseph at the temple about why they were so upset and surprised to find him there, he asked, “Why didn’t you know that I must be in my Father’s house?” (See Luke 2.) Does that question imply that there had been much discussion in the home about who Jesus was? What kind of family devotions did Mary and Joseph have? Were they inten-tional and habitual, or haphazard and sporadic? How important do you think family worship times were in Jesus home? How vital are they to the atmosphere in your home?

    Could these questions be used to start a discussion in your fam-ily about what family worship should be like? Try it and see.

    Dr. Woodie J. Stevens is the Global Director of SDMI.

    MARRIAGE - FROM GOOD TO GREATDr. David and Lisa Frisbie

    Let’s say you’re happily married. You’re together for life and everyone knows it. Even better, both of you are authentic believers. Here’s another plus: The two of you attend the same church. If you were taking one of those surveys for couples, both partners might report that your marriage is “good” or even “very good” right now. If so, stop reading this article and thank God for that reali-ty. Don’t let the blessing of a good marriage go unpraised!

    Meanwhile, what if you want to take your relationship from good to great? What if you want to improve on an already good thing? You can do that in as little as four minutes a day --- real time. You can use a principle that has already been ‘road tested’ on the gleaming autobahns of Germany, the winding byways of rural Bulgaria, and in many other settings and locations. Couples who go home to “try and apply” this principle tell us their relationship starts getting deeper almost immediately. And after only a week or two, they’re hooked. They end up revising and expanding the concept beyond the original idea.

    Here’s the seed to plant in your marriage garden: Starting today, the two of you spend four minutes each day together, in a quiet place, praying for each other out loud. You pray for your spouse for two minutes. Your spouse prays for you for two minutes.

    Two minutes each. Praying out loud. You can hold hands if you want, or put your hand on your spouse’s shoulder. You can kneel to pray if you want. You can pray in your car or your closet, your office or your kitchen. Just be together in a private space, and pray for each other out loud. Start with four minutes. No egg timer needed; approximate durations are fine. The point is, you don’t need an hour or a half-hour; you don’t even need 15 minutes!

    Couples around the globe report that this is a) difficult to get started; b) gets easier with a little practice; and c) quickly becomes a highlight of their day. Oh, and also, the same God who listens to your prayers begins to answer them, wisely and well.

    What if God’s presence invades your marriage in a new way?

    Dr. David and Lisa Frisbie serve together as Executive Directors of The Center for Marriage and Family Studies in Del Mar, California. Their most recent book is Right from the Start: a Guide for Couples (Beacon Hill Press).

    by Dr. Woodie J. Stevens

    THE FAMILY WORSHIP CONNECTION

  • by Dr. Dean Blevins

    I teach family ministry at a seminary and occasionally in a local church. When I meet with parents to talk about

    their family’s journey together in discipleship, I usually get a

    “deer in the headlights” look of panic at the mention of family de-

    votions. Sometimes I catch them checking for a quick, inconspicu-ous way to the door. Other parents

    come off so inflexible in their practices that they appear not to want to learn anything “new” for fear they will discover some deficiency in their devotional principles. Whether the desire is to run for the door or build a wall of defensiveness, the reaction is really the same – a deep panic with the topic at hand.

    Why do parents often melt into their chairs when confronted with the question of parental responsibility in nurturing the spiritual lives of their children or their spouse? Disobedience? Laziness? Detachment? Are parents in our churches really so distracted that they do not care about the spiritual health of their children? Are they so self absorbed that the very person they have pledged their life to in marriage doesn’t matter?

    I don’t think so. Some of the people most concerned about this topic and about their family’s devotional life often serve as Sunday school teachers and workers in the church. Yes, they care about other people’s children; so why do they panic when it comes to their own? Could it be that the church has actually failed them in the way we talk about and model discipleship?

    Let’s be honest. Teachers and leaders in North American churches often risk arguing that “we” have the responsi-bility to raise children through our ministries. For gen-erations, we have brought children to church by bus and by car to deposit them in Sunday School class-es, children’s church, and youth group, expecting the church do the real work of discipleship. Now, today, suddenly the very children who arrived in the bus ministry find themselves as parents who are being told how they need to be raising their kids through family devotions, often with no handles on what those practices look like. No wonder they panic.

    So, how can we help parents overcome the panic? Can Sunday School teachers and ministry workers learn to work with families rather than challenging or blaming parents for the spiritual lives of their children? Of course we can overcome this mes-sage, particularly since God desires that church and family work together through the Holy Spirit

    to model Christlikeness throughout our lives. Perhaps the best way to begin is to build on our strengths, both in the family and through the church. We need to help families identify first what they are doing well, help them celebrate what God is accom-plishing, then determine what they need to add and design a plan that is “doable” for a family. Starting with this approach focuses on the strengths rather than deficits within families.

    Similarly, we can find places in the church where families do grow in their faith through intergenerational living and learning through worship, meals, ministry, and intergenerational classes. We can then discern other opportunities that both support parents and model discipleship in and among families. Using this ap-proach allows families and congregations, parents and teachers an opportunity to work together in connecting with each other and even with others in their communities. In the Church of the Nazarene, we have started a project titled Faithful Homes to help us work together for this mutual growth. Learn more at http://faithfulhomes.org.

    Both parents and congregations need to move beyond a “deer in the headlights” mentality when thinking about ministry to and through families. Starting with strengths, then finding out where God is already working provides an important first step.

    Dr. Dean Blevins is Professor of Practical Theology and Chris-tian Discipleship at the Nazarene Theological Seminary.

    EMBRACING FAMILY DEVOTIONS

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    Traveling down a one-way street is often preferred to the congestion of a two-way street. When you drive down a one-way street, you are not concerned about opposing traffic – everything and everyone is going one way – your way. It’s kind of nice, isn’t it?

    Discipleship – and especially disciplining children – is not like that. When one considers the topic of family discipleship, it can be easy to overlook the reality that discipleship can be more like a con-gested two-way street, with instruction and information traveling in every direction. But the God we serve is not restrained by our limited imagination, nor is He limited in the channels by which He carries out His plan for our lives.

    When a child is introduced to a story from the Bible that both cap-tures their imagination and gets them excited about Scripture, their ability and willingness to share the story with others is bound to in-crease. When a child shares a story they have learned from Scripture with family and friends, more than just a retelling of a story is tak-ing place. God’s Word is being shared in a way that allows the Holy Spirit to move within the hearts of both the teller and the hearers.

    Discipleship can be a challenging process. That is why a portion of the money raised through this year’s Kids Reaching Kids Mission Of-fering Project, Lis-ten, Learn and Let it Out!, will fund Orality ministries like Bible Trek-king. Bible Trek-king is a ministry that teaches how to use Bible stories as a family discipleship tool. To find out more about Bible Trekking, or Listen, Learn and Let it Out!, visit www.krknaz.com.

    Dan Harris is the Kids Reaching Kids Mission Offering Project Coordinator for SDMI.

    When it comes to the chal-lenges that today’s par-ents face with discipling and p r o t e c t i n g their children, none can cre-ate as much

    difficulty as technology. However, the flip side of the coin is that technology can also greatly enhance a parent’s connection with their child and actually lead to a deeper and stronger relationship. Finding a balance of face-to-face and digital connection is the key. As the Apostle John said:

    “I have much to write to you, but I do not want to use paper and ink. Instead, I hope to visit you and talk with you face to face, so that our joy may be complete” (2 John 1:12).

    What John understood was that technology (his being paper and ink) was a substitute for something better: face-to-face interac-tion and connection. John and all of the

    writers of the New Testament mastered the art of balancing these two connecting op-portunities. Just like them, we ought to seek a healthy combination of both. As a parent of three kids, I would suggest a three-fold strategy when it comes to managing tech-nology in your homes.

    Protect - This first strategy tends to come more naturally for parents. We have a strong desire to protect our children. And that is a good thing! We ought to protect them with filters, time limits, and an overall technolo-gy strategy. However, we cannot stop there.

    Equip - A requirement of good 21st century parenting is that we train and equip our kids to use technology in a wise and responsible way. If we have focused more on pro-tecting from rather than equipping for, we will fail to prepare our kids for the onslaught of dangers that lie in wait for them in the cyber world.

    Model - As the famous psycholo-gist Albert Bandura observed many years ago, observational learning is how most children

    learn behavior that will carry over into their adult lives. We must model wise and godly technology behavior for our children while they are in our homes. Use technology to enhance your efforts to disciple your children, but remember that face-to-face is the best!

    For more specific tips and ideas on these issues check out our parenting resources at www.purehope.net/resources.

    Dan Martin is Director of Parenting Minis-try at pureHope.

    A TWO-WAY STREETby Rev. G. Daniel Harris

    by Dan MartinDISCIPLING IN THE DIGITAL AGE

  • by Rev. Justin Pickard

    OUR ROLE IN DISCIPLING TEENS

    As disciples of Christ, one of our core beliefs is to disciple others - to train them up in what it means to surrender to, follow, and love Jesus. Sometimes I wonder if we forget that this process includes lots of “show and tell.” Remember back in school when you brought something of value to show others and you shared its significance?

    In discipling teens, we need not just tell them what to do, say, and be. We must show them as well. We must engage them in real life in such a way as to model for them what it looks like to be a disciple of Christ in the thick and thin, highs and lows, cel-ebrations and tragedies, mundane and extravagant. Parents and youth leaders cannot do this alone.

    The entire body of Christ is needed to rally around the call to be disciplers of our young people. Otherwise, we run the risk of giving our teens a narrow view of who the body of Christ is and what we look like as a real family of believers.

    One of the most foundational ways to be involved in discipling teens as a community of faith comes from youth ministry guru Dr. Chap Clark1. He suggests a reversal of our typical ministry ratio of 1:5 adult-to-teen. Clark challenges churches to reverse that ratio.

    What would it look like for every teen in our churches to have five caring adults surrounding them with love, modeling Christ-likeness, and speaking truth into their lives from different perspectives?

    While one or two of these adults may be parents and youth leaders, it leaves plenty of room for other adults in the church to join in this vital ministry.

    How robust could our discipleship of youth be if our teens are learn-ing what it means to be a disciple

    of Christ not just from parents and pastors, but also from coach-es, teachers, grandparents, neighbors, and church members with a desire to invest in their lives? My hunch is that it would bring a fresh wind of life and faith into our churches as generational gaps are crossed, generalizations are dismissed, and God’s pres-ence is found in the midst of it all.

    1Dr. Kara E. Powell and Dr. Chap Clark, Sticky Faith. (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2011), 101.

    Rev. Justin Pickard is the USA/Canada NYI Coordinator.

    KNOW THE 3 Bsby Dr. Linda G. Hardin

    Some young and single adults will visit church dur-ing a life transition. It might be a career change, job relocation, divorce, continuing education, or various other reasons. Here are some tips to help make your church their home.

    Befriend them. Engage them in conversations to learn about their needs, interests, and desires. Remember that conversation involves as much listening as talking – perhaps even more. This often requires us to restate what we hear to ensure understanding.

    Share life with them by inviting them into your life. They want to see how others live, to learn how to integrate Christianity into all aspects of life, and to watch as you deal with the chal-

    lenges, conflicts, and joys life brings. Remember, it isn’t important to have all the answers. Actually, admitting

    that you don’t have an answer and working together to find a solution is often appealing to young adults.

    Find places where young and single adults can belong. Based on the information you gained from conversations, identify programs and ministries that match needs and interests. Develop ways to communicate more effectively. Facebook and text mes-sages will be among the prime communication tools.

    Encourage leadership development and give leadership respon-sibilities to them. Remember how someone trusted you with leadership positions. Relive that experience as you invest in new members of your congregation.

    Help them discover what we believe. In Sunday School classes, small groups, and Bible studies, help them to discover how the Bible applies to their lives today. Even if they know basic Christian beliefs, they will also want to know why we believe as we do. As you teach our doctrine and beliefs, guide them to discover the foundational supports.

    Bible studies provide a greater opportunity for the intergenera-tional ministry. Many are seeking to learn from the experiences and knowledge of those farther along life’s journey; they also want many of their friends to be present. Offering Bible stud-ies at various times, day and evening groups, allows people to select a time that fits into their schedules.

    Our goal is to develop young and single adults to become the people and leaders God created them to be. Meet newcomers for coffee and listen as they share their passion and vision. To bor-row words from a book title by Dr. D. Michael Henderson, we welcome new people “one conversation at a time.”

    Dr. Linda G. Hardin is an SDMI consultant for Women’s Ministries and Bridges singles ministry.

    7

  • 8

    SUNDAY SCHOOL & DISCIPLESHIP MINISTRIES INTERNATIONAL CHURCH OF THE NAZARENE

    FAX: 913-577-0866Email: [email protected]: sdmi.nazarene.org

    Nazarene Global Ministry Center17001 Prairie Star Pkwy

    Lenexa, KS 66220

    800-221-6317913-577-2802

    STATE OF MARRIAGES IN THE CHURCH OF THE NAZARENEby Dr. Ken Crow

    Most adult members of the Church of the Nazarene are married. Their relationships need the ministry of the church as they face the negative external pressures in the culture and the stresses and frictions of living together. A recent study1 examined the question of whether God’s grace and the church’s ministry is helping them in their marriages. What are the marriage patterns of Nazarene adults? Are they as likely to divorce as people who do not have the resources of God and the church? What are the factors that most influence their level of marital happiness?

    MARRIAGE STATISTICSThe study found that 95% of the adult members of the Church of the Nazarene have mar-ried. Of those who have ever been married, a little more than two-thirds are still married to the person they first married, not having experienced either the death of a spouse or a divorce. One-fourth are divorced or have remarried after a divorce.

    DIVORCE STATISTICSMost Nazarenes (72%) believe divorce is necessary in some cases for reasons other than adultery. Abuse is often cited as another acceptable reason for divorce. Nearly two-thirds believe Christians are as likely to divorce as are non-Christians. In 2004 a Barna Group study2 reported that born-again Christians, as they defined born again, were as likely to divorce as non-Christians. That study did not include enough Nazarenes to examine their experience of divorce. It did not consider the effect of religious affiliation. In fact, among Nazarenes who have ever been married, 25% have been divorced. This is about the same level as a later Barna Group study3 found among evangelicals (26%) and significantly lower than the 33% they found among non-Christians. Nevertheless, the false belief that Christians are as likely to divorce as non-Christians persists for a majority of Nazarene members (65%) and pastors (64%).

    MARRIAGE SATISFACTIONMost married Nazarene members describe their marriage as quite happy, with 77% choosing a description of 8 or higher on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 was “Very unhappy” and 10 was “Very happy.” The issues most strongly associated with marital happiness were “my spouse and I communicate well, do well in resolving conflicts, have similar values, have similar life goals, and share a deep commitment to God.”

    1 2013 ANSR Poll survey of a representative sample of local church lay leaders and users of SDMI’s Discipleship Place.2 The Barna Group, ”Born Again Christians Just As Likely to Divorce As Are Non-Christians,” (http://www.barna.org/barna-update/article/5-barna-update/194-born-again-christians-just-as-likely-to-divorce-as-are-non-christians).3 The Barna Group, New Marriage and Divorce Statistics Released, (http://www.barna.org/barna-update/article/15-familykids/42-new-marriage-and-divorce-statistics-released).

    Dr. Ken Crow, a retired missionary and pastor, currently serves as a consultant to Nazarene Research Services.

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