Parenting: Our hearts His PlanFall 2013: Week 8

Influence vs. Control

Authority

Infant 3-5 years 6-10 years 11-14 years 15-18 years Adults0

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ControlInfluence

Parenting: beginning / end!

Structure and ControlledGuidelines, flexibility, release

Train up a child…

“Train up a child in the way he should go and even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Proverbs 22:6

Living the journey with them….

Train up a child…Love the LORD your God with:

• all your heart • all your soul • all your might.

You shall • teach them diligently to your children, • talk of them when you sit in your house, • when you walk by the way• when you lie down• when you rise.

You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.

Deuteronomy 6:5-8

BOUNDARIESStage Goal Training

Birth – 2• Can I trust you?• Who is in charge?

Trust Establish Routines• Set a schedule• Be the parent

3-5 years• Are you watching me?• Who do I belong to?

Security Offer Recognition• Pay attention• Show ownership

6-12 years• Do you really love me?• Are you real?

Obedience Build Relationship• Be a good listener• Be authentic

13-19 years• Who am I?• Can I be in charge?

Self-Respect Give Responsibility• Enable self-discovery• Transfer accountability

Adults• I am God’s

Man / woman after Christ’s heart

Come along beside of them, Friendship, Mentor

• Does it matter?• Have you considered this question?• Have you done anything to answer it?• What should you do with it?•

What does it mean to be a part of the “____Family”?

Dotson Family Constitution

• My God• My Family• Family Development and Growth• Loving Your Neighbor• Communication

Dotson Family Constitution: Family Development and Growth

Galatians 5:22 The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

We will encourage the development and growth of the fruits of the spirit in one another by nurturing…

• Positive self-image: Psalms 139:14 – each is fearfully and wonderfully made• Journey of self-awareness : understanding, encouragement and development of

one another’s gifts and talents.• Serving others: look beyond “self” and consider God’s unique purpose and plan for

each in His unfolding Kingdom story.

Dotson Family Constitution: Respect and Value Others

John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

Matthew 22:37-39 ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’

Hebrews 12:14 Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy.

Lying, cheating, stealing, dishonest are not acceptable.

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” Winston Churchill.

Dotson Family Constitution: Communication

Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to respond to each person.

James 1:19 Let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak, and as a result slow to anger, for man’s anger does not ring about the righteous life that God desires.

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle word turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

• We will actively seek to understand one another’s viewpoint.• Integrity of intent – thinking the best of one another.

Shepherds of Your TeamName Jim Ann Hillary Bennett Hunter

Strengths Maximizer Responsibility Learner Significance

Competition Harmony Empathy Restorative

Belief Consistency Achiever Deliberative

Woo Belief Includer Belief

Individualizer Context Futuristic Competition

D.A.R.E 7 6 1 14 6

12 14 12 4 7

8 28 29 7 30

24 2 8 24 7

Motivator Affection Time Gifts Fun Affirmation

Recognition Public 1:1 Written Public 1:1

Learning Style

Observe Read Read Doing Doing

Love Language

Words of Encouragement / Affection

Time / Undivided Attention

Words of Encouragement / Time

Words of Encouragemnt

Words of Encouragemnt