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This article was downloaded by: [Northeastern University] On: 14 November 2014, At: 09:37 Publisher: Routledge Informa Ltd Registered in England and Wales Registered Number: 1072954 Registered office: Mortimer House, 37-41 Mortimer Street, London W1T 3JH, UK Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy: Innovations in Clinical and Educational Interventions Publication details, including instructions for authors and subscription information: http://www.tandfonline.com/loi/wcrt20 Facilitating Post-Divorce Transition Using Narrative Therapy Ursula K. Pietsch MS a a Marriage and Family Therapy program , Purdue University , West Lafayette, IN, 47907-1269, USA Published online: 08 Nov 2010. To cite this article: Ursula K. Pietsch MS (2002) Facilitating Post-Divorce Transition Using Narrative Therapy, Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy: Innovations in Clinical and Educational Interventions, 1:1, 65-81, DOI: 10.1300/J398v01n01_05 To link to this article: http://dx.doi.org/10.1300/J398v01n01_05 PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR ARTICLE Taylor & Francis makes every effort to ensure the accuracy of all the information (the “Content”) contained in the publications on our platform. However, Taylor & Francis, our agents, and our licensors make no representations or warranties whatsoever as to the accuracy, completeness, or suitability for any purpose of the Content. Any opinions and views expressed in this publication are the opinions and views of the authors, and are not the views of or endorsed by Taylor & Francis. The accuracy of the Content should not be relied upon and should be independently verified with primary sources of information. Taylor and Francis shall not be liable for any losses, actions, claims, proceedings, demands, costs, expenses, damages, and other liabilities whatsoever or howsoever caused arising directly or

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Page 1: Facilitating Post-Divorce Transition Using Narrative Therapy

This article was downloaded by: [Northeastern University]On: 14 November 2014, At: 09:37Publisher: RoutledgeInforma Ltd Registered in England and Wales Registered Number: 1072954Registered office: Mortimer House, 37-41 Mortimer Street, London W1T 3JH,UK

Journal of Couple &Relationship Therapy:Innovations in Clinical andEducational InterventionsPublication details, including instructions forauthors and subscription information:http://www.tandfonline.com/loi/wcrt20

Facilitating Post-DivorceTransition Using NarrativeTherapyUrsula K. Pietsch MS aa Marriage and Family Therapy program , PurdueUniversity , West Lafayette, IN, 47907-1269, USAPublished online: 08 Nov 2010.

To cite this article: Ursula K. Pietsch MS (2002) Facilitating Post-Divorce TransitionUsing Narrative Therapy, Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy: Innovations inClinical and Educational Interventions, 1:1, 65-81, DOI: 10.1300/J398v01n01_05

To link to this article: http://dx.doi.org/10.1300/J398v01n01_05

PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR ARTICLE

Taylor & Francis makes every effort to ensure the accuracy of all theinformation (the “Content”) contained in the publications on our platform.However, Taylor & Francis, our agents, and our licensors make norepresentations or warranties whatsoever as to the accuracy, completeness,or suitability for any purpose of the Content. Any opinions and viewsexpressed in this publication are the opinions and views of the authors, andare not the views of or endorsed by Taylor & Francis. The accuracy of theContent should not be relied upon and should be independently verified withprimary sources of information. Taylor and Francis shall not be liable for anylosses, actions, claims, proceedings, demands, costs, expenses, damages,and other liabilities whatsoever or howsoever caused arising directly or

Page 2: Facilitating Post-Divorce Transition Using Narrative Therapy

indirectly in connection with, in relation to or arising out of the use of theContent.

This article may be used for research, teaching, and private study purposes.Any substantial or systematic reproduction, redistribution, reselling, loan,sub-licensing, systematic supply, or distribution in any form to anyone isexpressly forbidden. Terms & Conditions of access and use can be found athttp://www.tandfonline.com/page/terms-and-conditions

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Facilitating Post-Divorce Transition Using Narrative Therapy

Ursula K. Pietsch

ABSTRACT. This papcr illustrates the use of narrative therapy whcn working with an individual in post-divorce transition. The divorce pro- ccss and divorce therapy arc briefly overviewed, and narrative therapy and its components are described. Examples of narrative conversations illustrate ways to integrate narrative therapy with post-divorce transi- tion. [Article copies available for a fee from The Haworth Documet~t Delivery Service: 1-800-342-9678. E-mail address: <getinfo@lza worthpressinc. com> Website: ~http:llwww.HawortlPressScom> O 2002 by The Haworth Press, Itlc. All rights resewed]

KEYWORDS. Divorce, divorce therapy, narrative therapy

Traditionally, the literature on divorce and divorce therapy empha- sizes the use of a framework of stages, transitions, and goals to facili- tate the divorce process. This leaves the family therapist at a loss because there has been little integration of divorce therapy with family therapy theories. In fact, the application of a specific family therapy theory for an individual in divorce therapy occurred only once in the literature. Brown (1985) used a structural-strategic approach with an individual during all phases of the divorce process to change the meaning the client attributed to the divorce. The purpose of this paper is to further the integration of family therapy theory with divorce therapy. Specifically, it presents the use of narrative therapy (White,

Ursula K. Pietsch, MS, is a doctoral student in the Marriage and Family Therapy program at Purdue University, West Lafayette, IN 47907-1269.

The author expresses her appreciation to Joseph L. Wetchler, PhD, for his encour- agement and suggestions.

Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, Vol. l(1) 2002 O 2002 by The Haworth Press, Inc. All rights reserved. 65

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1995; White & Epston, 1990) when working with an individual to promote post-divorce transition.

DIVORCE AND DIVORCE THERAPY

There have been several stage models of divorce and divorce thera- py presented in the literature, and a brief overview follows. Carter and McGoldrick (1999) describe divorce as an additional stage in the life cycle and break it down into four parts each with key developmental issues: The Decision to Divorce, The Plan to Separate, The Actual Separation, and The Divorce. During the "Decision to Divorce," an important issue is an acknowledgement of one's responsibility in the breakdown of the marriage. During the "Plan to Separate7' compo- nent, there is a need to work cooperatively with the partner on custody, visitation, and financial issues, and deal with extended family. During the "Actual Separation," essential issues include grieving the loss of the family and-negotiating new relationships with the partner, chil- dren, and extended family. The "Divorce" phase includes an emotion- al divorce, where the client mourns the loss of many things: the family, hopes and dreams, and retrieves the self from the marriage.

Kaslow (1995) and Schwartz and Kaslow (1997) describe divorce in a seven-stage model that occurs through three phases: Predivorce, During Divorce, and Postdivorce. A period of "Deliberation and De- spair" describes the "Predivorce" phase. An emotional divorce be- gins when one or both partners become aware of the dissatisfaction in the marriage. Therapy during this time may focus on relationship history, conflict resolution, communication, or positive aspects of the relationship. Several "divorces" (legal, economic, coparenting, com- munity, and religious) describe the "During Divorce" phase. During the legal stage, the therapist's role includes helping the couple learn and use a non-combative problem solving approach. The therapist's role during the economic stage is to encourage each partner to honest- ly see the other partner's financial needs and negotiate fairly based on those needs. During the coparenting stage, the therapist may help the couple communicate to their children about the divorce and create appropriate coparenting schedules, and help the children by normaliz- ing the experience, minimizing isolation, and increasing problem- solving skills. Individual or group therapy may be the treatment of choice during the community stage in which goals include creating

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and maintaining a support and social network. Therapeutic goals for the client during the religious stage may include a divorce ceremony, reconciling the divorce within his or her religion or spiritual life, or creating a new spiritual or religious life outside of the ex-spouse. Finally, a period of "Exploration and Re-equilibration" for the indi- vidual describes the stage of a psychic divorce that occurs in the "Postdivorce" phase. The therapist's role may include focusing on the benefits of the divorce and the client's strengths, and continuing to decrease the client's negative feelings about self, the ex-spouse, and the divorce. The seven stages within a three-phase model help thera- pists anticipate issues that clients may bring to therapy because of the divorce process and plan effective interventions.

Sprenkle and Gonzalez-Doupe (1996) define divorce therapy as "helping couples and families through the stages of ( I ) predivorce decision-making, (2) divorce restructuring, and (3) post-divorce re- covery and remarriage7' (p. 183). In the first stage,'a therapist's goal is to present the divorce as an option to the troubles the couple is experi- encing and help them weigh the pros and cons of this decision.- he transition from marriage to post-marriage family is facilitated in the second stage of divorce restructuring and includes making legal, emo- tional, financial, social and parental changes. Finally, it is in the third stage of post-divorce recovery and remarriage that the individual be- comes the focus of therapy. Here, the therapist helps the client estab- lish herself or himself as an autonomous individual with interests, relationships, and an identity outside of the former relationship.

Bogolub (1995) takes an eclectic approach and divides divorce into the following three phases-Pre-Divorce, During Divorce, and Post- Divorce. The "Pre-Divorce" stage may be marked with feelings that range from complete denial to ambivalence, social isolation, fear of starting over, and guilt over possible consequences to children, spouse, and other family members. The therapist's role in this phase is to help the client make an informed decision about staying or leaving the marriage through exploring client ambivalence, fear, practical is- sues (shelter, safety, and income), and involving spouse and children in therapy when appropriate. The client's focus in the "During Di- vorce" phase usually changes from a primarily emotional one to a concern for the changes and losses (status, shared life, dreams, in- come, residence and neighborhood) because the actual physical up- heaval is taking place. Therapeutic goals generally are to: (1) improve

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the emotional status of the family by assisting them in working through and resolving their feelings about the divorce, (2) improve financial and social support for the custodial parent, (3) improve the relationship between offspring and custodial parent, and (4) decrease conflict and increase cooperation between parents. In the "Post-Di- vorce" phase, negative emotions that typified the previous phases are generally joined or replaced by positive feelings-competency, pride, and mastery. However, if divorced adults do not successfully move through the previous stages, they may actually deteriorate during the post-divorce phase. Therapeutic goals during the "Post-Divorce" phase are the same as the goals in the "During Divorce" phase, with an emphasis on continued achievement and maintenance of these goals.

Of course, regardless of the model, not all divorces or divorce therapies proceed in the above manner because of the uniqueness of each individual's history and developmental level, and each couple's marriage and divorce.

NARRATIVE THERAPY

Narrative therapy is grouped under the social constructionist family therapies based on the belief that reality is subjective and formed in stories through conversation with others. White (1995) proposes that people actively interpret their experiences into a story or a narrative of self. This self-narrative, or dominant story, molds how and to what extent their lived experience is expressed.

White and Epston (1990) assume that people come to therapy when the dominant story of their experiences in life is no longer helpful or satisfying to them for whatever reason. It may be that they are stuck in a socially constructed problematic view of themselves and others. Or the dominant story may cause distress when it is incongruent with their preferred views of self, or when they think that others view them in ways that are discrepant with preferred views of self (Eron & Lund, 1996).

White and Epston (1990) describe the therapeutic process as a conversation between the therapist and client. his conversation con- sists of a series of questions about how the current problematic domi- nant story has affected his or her life. Initial conversations between therapist and client allow the client to define the problem and the

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therapist to begin to understand the client's perception of the problem (Eron & Lund, 1996). The therapist helps the client legitimize and appreciate his or her own story (Parry & Doan, 1994). When the therapist and/or client identify unique outcomes, the client is asked to place meaning on them to start describing herself or himself, others, and the relationships involved in a different and more helpful way (White & Epston, 1990). The client may also be invited to ask ques- tions about the therapist's questioning process, regarding what has been helpful, and what has not been helpful (White, 1995). These newly identified experiences and meanings that lie outside the current dominant story of the client are alternative or subjugated stories. Eventually, the client may experience and embrace the components of these alternative stories. The therapist's contribution to the story is then little or none at all (White & Epston, 1990). Therapy is successful when the client, in collaboration with the therapist, is able to create a new narrative with different meanings that the client feels is more helpful in his or her life.

The therapeutic conversation is described as "collaborative" be- cause the therapist does not know what is right for the client or how things should look at the end of therapy. The client is considered an expert on his or her life (White, 1995). These conversations also allow the therapist to connect with client preferences creating a process of change. The client now has another person (the therapist) who looks at the client in his or her preferred way. Because the therapist maintains a flexible approach and is in line with the client's preferred view, the client is more likely to be open about concerns, and more easily acknowledge his or her own actions in maintaining the problem (Eron & ~ u n d , 1996): This collaborative relationship also emphasizes the knowledge and competence of the client and creates a positive sense of self.

COMPONENTS OF NARRATWE THERAPY

Externalizing the problem. The crucial first step in narrative therapy is separating the client from the problem through externalization. The client is not the problem. Instead, the focus of therapy is the client's relationship with the problem that through externalization is now a thing outside of the client. Externalization helps the client experience an identity or life apart from the problem (White, 1995) and may have

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several positive outcomes. First, there is less blaming over responsi- bility of the problem. Second, eternalizing the problem lessens the sense of failure over repeated past attempts to solve it. Third, it allows the client to take back his or her identity from the problem. Finally, it brings the problem into a conversation between the therapist and client so that an acceptable definition of the problem may be more easily found (White & Epston, 1990).

Relative influence questioning. Two sets of questions make up a process that assists in the externalization of the problem. First, the client is motivated to trace the influence of the problem through his or her life and relationships. This set of questions helps the client and therapist identify how the problem has affected the client's behaviors, emotions, physical state, interactions with others, and attitudes. A broader description of the problem across many domains may help in the later search for unique outcomes. Second, the client is invited to map out her or his influence in the problem. This questioning also assists in the identification of unique outcomes in those instances where the client did not let the problem affect him or her in some way or at all (White & Epston, 1990). These unique outcomes are therapeu- tic clues about how conversations may further proceed to bring out subjugated stories (Parry & Doan, 1994).

Landscape of action questions. These questions are asked after the problem has been externalized, its influence mapped across many spheres of the client's life, and unique outcomes have been identified. These questions ask about the client's experience when the problem was not present (e.g., What were you doing when you were successful in stopping the problem?). Highlighting the times when the client was a successful problem-solver may create a sense of personal agency and being an authority on one's experiences (White, 1995).

Landscape of consciousness or meaning questions. These questions are interpretations of "landscape of action" questions. These ques- tions are based on the successes the client had in managing the prob- lem (e.g., What does it say about you as a person that you were able to stop the problem?). These questions place meaning on those suc- cesses. Now there is a greater possibility of the client seeing himself or herself in a new way, and in a new dominant story (White, 1995).

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USING NARRATIVE T H E M Y TO FACILITATE CLIENT'S POST-DIVORCE T M S I T I O N

It is important to note two issues when integrating divorce therapy and narrative therapy. One, there is a language difference between divorce therapy and narrative therapy. Divorce therapy literature refers to goal achievement. Goals generally imply a defined state of accom- plishment. In narrative therapy, a therapist does not know what the outcome will look like. Therefore, the idea of goals does not fit a narrative context. It is more appropriate in a narrative framework to discuss processes. This change in language challenges certainties and emphasizes the importance of experiences over time, two important ideas of narrative therapy (White, 1995). Two, a narrative approach emphasizes the unique experiences of the client (White & Epston, 1990), and it is important to think about possible gender differences in facilitating this process. Parry and Doan (1994) describe gender as "one of the most powerful and dominant stories informing our person- hood" (p. 130). Furthermore, clients and therapists have specific sto- ries about what it means to be male or female that need to be recog- nized. For example, stories of becoming independent will not only have different implications for different clients, but may also have different meanings that may be aligned with gender differences. For female clients, becoming independent may involve becoming finan- cially self-sufficient and developing a different type of decision-mak- ing skills. For male clients, becoming independent may mean creating a home and developing a social life (Carter & McColdrick, 1999; Carter & Peters, 1996).

Each model of divorce and divorce therapy described earlier differs slightly. However, each model identifies general processes of post-di- vorce therapy: creating an autonomous self, changing negative views of self and the divorce, and a utilization of resources. Narrative thera- py is appropriate for helping clients make transitions after a divorce for three reasons that are congruent with processes of post-divorce therapy. First, the client-therapist relationship in a narrative approach may model some positive characteristics that were not present in the past marriage and may be helpful in future relationships. For example, families treated 'within a narrative framework reported positive char- acteristics associated with a narrative framework. The relationship is collaborative, respectful, and does not focus on blame. There is no power structure or hierarchy present. Instead, the therapist values the

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client's perceptions (O'Connor, Meakes, Pickering, & Schuman, 1997). Second, a narrative approach may help foster a sense of person- al agency and care taking of self. The client does a lot of work on his or her own to find solutions through conversation with the therapist. White (1995) even calls these unique outcomes "self-care" (p. 94). Third, the client experiences his or her life in a different and hopefully, more positive way by focusing on experiences when the problem is not present.

Narrative therapy may also be helpful because it can accomplish both first and second order change that Lund (1990) emphasizes as important to successful post-divorce resolution. First order change would result from moving through the stages of divorce. Second order change would result from a new dominant story that includes different ways of interacting with relationships and systems. A narrative ap- proach may accomplish both of these changes by promoting post-di- vorce processes and re-authoring the client's dominant story including identity, behaviors, and relationships.

Descriptions of each post-divorce process and narrative conversa- tions are given. These conversations are based on a previous client, Joy T., a 54-year-old woman whose husband, Mark, initiated the di- vorce proceedings. Joy came to therapy in the final stages of the divorce for two reasons. One, she wanted to focus on taking better care of herself. Two, she wanted help in adjusting to the divorce because she had been hoping for reconciliation and unable to move on and look past the marriage. Although examples are given based on a spe- cific client, these should not be viewed as a defined way therapy must proceed. These examples are provided as a starting point of reflection for other clients as opposed to a specific treatment manual. These actions keep a therapist in a reflective state in relation to each client's unique narrative (White, 1995).

Process One: Creating an Autonomous Self

Developing an autonomous self is a process of post-divorce transi- tion and may involve two components for the client. First, it involves getting "custody of yourself" (p. 45) and seeing oneself as a capable single person. Second, it involves finding meaning beyond the life with the ex-spouse (Sutton & Sprenkle, 1985). There may be several things that prevent the client from moving forward in this process: excessive communication with the ex-spouse, unable to view oneself

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as anything but married, and a lack of knowledge of how one wants to live life now as a single person. Narrative therapy can promote these parts by identifying and building on those times the client overcame these types of obstacles. In this process, re-authoring of the client's life as a single person occurs and meaning may be created.

The first step may be externalizing the problem in a way that cap- tures the client's description of it and its effects on his or her life (White & Epston, 1990). For example, the following questions were helpful for Joy to start seeing herself separate from the marriage that was ending:

How does talking with your ex-spouse keep you in a close rela- tionship with him? How does this image of you as still married, as "Mrs. T.," stop you from moving on with your life? How does not knowing how you may want to act in new situa- tions stop you from doing those things that would make you happy? How does not knowing how you may want to handle relation- ships stop you from interacting with people?

After the problem has been externalized, the client and the therapist may now look for those times where the client successfully managed or stopped the problem. In the course of therapy, Joy realized that in continuing to talk to her ex-spouse, she kept thinking about the rela- tionship and holding onto hope that they may reconcile at the last moment. By focusing on unique outcomes, she realized that at times she was able to speak to him briefly and only when necessary. It was during these unique outcomes that she found it easier to think of the marriage as over.

Once unique outcomes are identified, "landscape of action" ques- tions may be used to find out what the client was doing when the problem was not present. For example, the following "landscape of action" questions were helpful for Joy to start exploring actions that led to positive changes:

How did you manage to stop that urge to talk to your ex-spouse about the relationship or more than necessary? What were you doing when you had the thought that you were not "Mrs. T." anymore and you did not get sad?

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How were you able to make the decision to keep the house when previously you were unsure about what to do? What were you feeling when you asked an acquaintance to din- ner? How did you do that?

Through this conversation, Joy managed to stop talking to her ex- spouse excessively by remembering how frustrating and confusing it was to talk about potential in a marriage that was for all practical purposes over. In addition, this therapeutic conversation continued to help Joy see herself separate from her marriage. "Landscape of mean- ing" questions were asked to cement the unique outcomes with what Joy was doing and ascribe meaning to the success. In therapy, Joy had begun the process of seeing herself as separate but further conversa- tions with "landscape of meaning" questions helped this process even more. For example:

What does it say about you that you were able to stop talking to your ex-spouse? What does it tell you about yourself that you were able to think of yourself apart from your ex-spouse? What does it mean to you that you were able to realize that the house was a priority for you? What does it say about your beliefs about you and relationships that you were able to ask an acquaintance to dinner?

By focusing in therapy on what Joy's changes said about her as a person, she came to realize that her ability to stop talking excessively to her ex-husband showed her that she was a strong, autonomous person who was able to set limits with him.

Process Two: Changing Negative Views of Self

Changing negative views of self is a second process of post-divorce transition. In the marriage, a negative identity of the client may have been created in interaction with the spouse (i.e., the jerk, the yeller and screamer, the drinker, the dependent person). When the marriage breaks up, the client may be stuck in viewing himself or herself in this negative way. White (1995) describes how a client "recruited" into a negative identity will be likely to continue to see himself or herself in this light and continue to give meaning to experiences that emphasize

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the negative identity. The client may be unable to see herself or him- self asanyone but this negative persona even after she or he is not in the marriage. Often, the client must reconstruct or change his or her social identity over time from an identity etched in a certain context (marriage) to a preferred story of one's identity (now as a single person). White (1995) describes this process as a migration of identity that may be mapped over time. Understanding that an identity changes over time may help place any confusion or anxiety within the context of a process or journey. In doing this, the client may see positive changes over time and continue to inspire toward future changes.

First, a therapist may externalize the negative identity. Externaliza- tion may be done by emphasizing that the negative identity was the ex-spouse's story or the story from the marriage of who the client was within a certain context (marriage) and time (the past). For example, Joy's negative identity from her ex-spouse was a mean person. From the marriage, her negative identity was dependent. The following types of externalizing questions were helpful in placing Joy's negative identity within a context of a past marriage and contrasting it with her identity in a present context:

How has Mark's story of you as a mean person affected your life now as a single person? How has Mark's story of you as unkind affected your relation- ships with your grown children now that you are single? How has Mark's story of you as insensitive affected your rela- tionships with your friends since the divorce? How has the story of you as dependent affected the way in which you view yourself since the divorce? How has the story of you as dependent affected your work since the divorce? How has the story of you as dependent affected your present and future ambitions and dreams?

By asking these externalizing questions across the different domains of the client's life and within the context of a past identity, two impor- tant things may occur within the process of changing negative views of self. First, it may be possible to map the extent to which the nega- tive identity has affected the client in the past. Second, it may be possible to map the extent to which the negative identity continues to do so in the client's present life as a single person.

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In mapping the times where the negative identity had an effect, it is also important to find those times when this destructive identity did not have an influence. Using the exceptions of unique outcomes, the therapist may point out how this negative identity does not capture the completeness of the client's experience of who she or he is as a person. In the course of mapping the effects of the problem, Joy was able to identify a time when she was not dependent upon her ex-spouse for help. After a heavy snowfall, she shoveled the snow off the driveway by herself, even though her ex-husband had offered assistance. This account was a unique outcome because it contradicted the dominant story of the marriage of Joy as a dependent person. Pointing out unique outcomes in which the client acted differently may start the migration of identity. This unique outcome helped Joy realize that there was at least one time where she was self-reliant.

Identification and validation of unique outcomes may be followed by "landscape of action" questions. Several questions followed the conversation about Joy's unique outcome:

How do you manage to get things done around the house, like shovel and snow blow the driveway by yourself? What do you do when your ex-husband calls to offer you assis- tance you do not want to take? How do you handle not knowing how to use outdoor tools such as a snow blower?

Through these "landscape of action" questions, Joy was able to de- scribe in detail how she went about planning this project-what she would need, how she would dress, how she would know when she could not physically do anymore. Phrasing these questions in the present tense is helpful in moving the client along the migration of identity and toward a preferred identity because a difference in experi- ence and feelings may be drawn. For Joy, a difference was continuing to be drawn in therapy between her past identity of dependent, and a present identity of self-reliant.

To continue Joy's migration of identity, "landscape of meaning" questions were introduced to give meaning to those experiences that emphasize Joy's preferred identity:

What does it say about you that you are able to physically take care of your home on your own?

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What does it say about you as a person that you are able to de- cline your ex-husband's offer of assistance? What does it say about your beliefs about your competency that you figured out how to operate outdoor equipment on your own?

Engaging in this conversation in therapy helped cement this preferred identity of self-reliant. Again, Joy was able to see herself as a strong, self-reliant person who could get things done on her own. Hopefully, the client may continue to see the self in this positive identity and continue to give meaning to experiences that emphasize it, continuing a migration of identity.

Process Three: Changing Negative Views of Divorce

The notion of divorce as failure and a negative event make up the third process of post-divorce transition. The client may be unable to look beyond this failure and may in fact incorporate it into a complete view of self. This notion of "self as failure" must be contradicted (Kressel & Deutsch, 1977) as it may mask other accomplishments or positive changes happening in the client's life. A divorce may be a chance at personal growth and many authors list this criterion as important to constructive, long-term adjustment (Kaslow & Hyatt, 1982; Lund, 1990; Salts, 1985; Sutton & Sprenkle, 1985). With its unique technique of externalization that focuses on separation, a narra- tive framework is especially relevant to this process of separating the divorce from the individual. For example, the following types of ques- tions were used to externalize the divorce for Joy:

How has the divorce affected your life? How has the divorce affected your self-esteem and confidence? How has the divorce affected your values and priorities?

Once externalization of the divorce has taken place, unique outcomes where the divorce resulted in positive, growth-oriented experiences may be highlighted. Asking externalizing questions across a variety of areas helped Joy realize that the divorce did not significantly affect her at work and she still grew professionally.

"Landscape of action" questions may be asked to help identity what the client was doing when divorce did not affect him or her. The following questions were helpful for Joy in identifying what she was doing during her unique outcome:

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78 JOUKNtlL OF COUPLE & RELATIONSHIP THERAPY

Flow have you managed to keep the divorce from affecting your work life? What are you doing to keep the divorce from wrecking your self- esteem and confidence? I-low have you managed to go through a divorce with a sense of your values and priorities intact?

Through this therapeutic conversation, Joy realized that she kept the divorce from affecting her at work by dealing with her feelings about the divorce at a specific time away from work, either at home or with supportive friends. After a discussion of what Joy did about work and the divorce, she started to see that the divorce was only one aspect of her life happening at a specific point in time. "Landscape of meaning" questions further cemented this idea of Joy being successful in life regardless of the divorce:

What does it say about you as a person that you were able to take on a divorce and continue to be successful at work? The fact that you were able to retain your self-esteem and confi- dence during the divorce says what about you as a person? What does it mean to you that you were able to hold on to your values and priorities during such a time of chaos?

Through these questions, Joy experienced divorce as something other than an all encompassing negative event in her life. Highlighting positive experiences and growth of self helped change negative mean- ings of divorce. Joy began to see divorce as a process that she was able topersevere through and possibly made her stronger. Integrating these changed meanings of divorce and of self cemented Joy's preferred dominant story.

Process Four: Creating and Using Resources

Mobilizing resources to move forward is a fourth process of post- divorce transition. Sutton and Sprenkle (1985) state that a divorcee "must learn to relate out of 'strength' and not simply out of 'need'" (p. 44). Sprenkle (1989) lists the self as a resource that the client needs to develop. This development of self as a resource may involve several steps. First, the client may need to develop basic life skills that did not exist before. For example, some female clients may need to learn to

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deal with car repairs and some male clients may need to learn certain domestic skills such as cooking. Second, time management skills need to be learned so that the client can have time alone with self. Third, identifying those past times where the client has shown strength and competence will help him or her assess inner strengths. Narrative therapy is distinctively helpful with this process because it looks at past successes and fosters a sense of personal agency needed to devel- op skills and manage time.

In externalizing a lack of resources, a therapist may ask the follow- ing types of questions:

How has not being able to depend on your ex-spouse affected your life? How has having to do everything on your own affected your situ- ation? How has a lack of support affected your ability to cope with the divorce?

Asking these questions to Joy highlighted the fact that not having resources beyond her ex-spouse left her without someone to consult with about things she knew little about. In the next step in therapy, finding and talking about unique outcomes, Joy's inner strength was again brought out. Joy's unique outcome existed in her attempt to buy a computer, something she knew nothing about. Through "landscape of action" questions, Joy's behaviors that are helpful in resolving the issue of resources were identified:

What do you do when you are not able to depend on your ex- spouse to do something for you? What do you do to manage your life on your own? What do you do when you are not able to make contact with your family or friends?

Joy's response to this conversation in therapy was to create a resource within herself by signing up for a computer class and create an outside resource by planning a trip to an electronics store to speak to a sales- person about computers. Then "landscape of meaning" questions were used to connect these successful experiences with the preferred story of Joy as a viable resource for herself:

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80 .JOURNAL OF COUPLE S: RELATIONSHIP THERAPY

What does it say about you as a person that you were able to do something without your ex-spouse's help? What does it mean that you were able to manage your life by yourself? How did you know what to do when you could not ask your fam- ily or friends for help?

Once again, these "landscape of meaning" questions cemented for Joy that she was a strong person who was able to take care of herself, depend on herself, and find outside resources when necessary. Seeing oneself as a valuable resource with past successes may strengthen the ability to continue a preferred self-narrative since confidence and competency has been shown.

CONCLUSION

While general frameworks for divorce and divorce therapy exist, family therapy theory has yet to contribute much to the divorce pro- cess in the literature. This paper initiated an integration of narrative therapy and divorce therapy using examples from a past client. Specif- ically, it explained the use of narrative therapy in facilitating post-di- vorce transition through four general processes. Although discussion of each process did not specify preferred outcomes or a specific way therapy should proceed, conversations illustrated the relevancy of nar- rative therapy in the client's post-divorce transition.

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