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Face to Face in the Workplace
Strategies for dealing with conversations at work
Julie Cooper
Spring Developmentwww.springdevelopment.net
What we are doing today:
• Tell you about Face to Face in the Workplace • Explore how you impact on others• Discover why conversations go wrong• Learn some simple strategies that work
Our first book.....
• Regularly on Amazon best sellers lists since 2008
• Widely used as course text book for advice and guidance qualifications
Then along came books two and three....
What worked....
• Practical “how to” approach• Clear structure, simple language• Friendly illustrations• Theory made accessible• Toolkit of models, ideas and strategies• “It’s hard when....”• Stories as examples – including how to get it wrong!
The Basics:Self awarenessPersonality stylesAssertive behaviourCredibilityRapportExplainingListeningQuestioningBody languagePositive regardHow to challengeShutting people upSaying noOn the hop
What’s in the book:• Appraisals• Back from Sickness interviews• Challenging attitude and negativity • Change, Introducing• Coaching• Conflict• Dark Triad• Delegating• Disciplinary meetings• Feedback• Exit interviews• Grievance, handling a• Inappropriate behaviour • Influencing
and Persuasion • Instructing• Interviewing job applicants • Managing your Boss•Mentoring • Negotiating •Performance gaps • Praising• Redundant, Making someone • Dismissing a member of staff • Supervisory meetings• 360° Feedback
Why strategies for conversations?
Because....• We think we’re understood
• We think we’ve explained
• We don’t challenge enough
• We don’t explore issues to get to the heart of the matter
• We’re under pressure to get quick results
But the real results are...what?
OCEAN – Who are you?The Big Five:
• Openness to experience• Conscientious• Extraversion• Agreeableness• Neuroticism
Know your own personality
What do we bring?
• Motives
• Learning history
•Thinking skills
• Capacity to feel
• Sense of worth
• Fears
• Sexuality
• Values and ethics
•Culture and Cross-cultural Skills
•Experience
•Social Class
How can each of these affect a conversation?
Perception and filters caused by our:
Past and Present Anxiety
What is the impact on our behaviour?
Pussyfooting
Sorry to disturb you....I wonder...could we talk about....would you mind awfully...Oh, I can see you’re busy...No, it really doesn’t matter...It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?It can wait...
What are the characteristics of pussyfooting?
Clobbering!What is the likely reaction of Topi?
What impact does it have on you?
• Be aware of your emotions and the impact they may have on others
•Remember that others will assign different levels of importance so may not react as you expect
When do we need a plan?
If there is a purpose, an agenda, an important decision, a need to connect at a new level...
When it matters!
DOTS....DefinitionWhat exactly is going on here?
Think AheadWhat do I need to prepare in advance?
StepsWhat needs to happen during the discussion?
OutcomesWhat is it I want to achieve?
The Three Step Tango1.Listen until you understand where
the other person is coming from. Gather all the facts, feelings and
circumstances. Try and get to the bottom of Topi’s interests and motivation. Let him know you have heard and understood.
2. Say what you think and feel about the situation.But don’t say but!
3. Say what you would like to happen next, considering the consequences for yourself and the other person.
OFFA’s Agenda
• Opinion• Facts• Feelings• Assumptions
Were they present in your example? How did they affect the outcome?
Think of a discussion you have had at work recently.What did Topi say?
Nip it in the Bud
Three stage perception checking technique:
1. State the behaviour“Sarah, every time I mention the project deadline, you roll your eyes”
2. Say what it means to you“I take it this means you have a problem with the time scales”
3. Ask for confirmation“Am I right?”
Final Words
• The impact you have on others is critical to relationships
• Relationships are critical to successful outcomes
• Adapting your style to help others understand you is not a cop out!
www.springdevelopment.net
Thank you!
20% discount at the checkout for Unimenta members at
www. springpublishing.co.uk
Use the code
Unimenta
Thank you for taking part.Please do let me know if you have any
questions or feedback.
If you would like to be kept informed on upcoming webinars. Please join my mailing
list at
www.springdevelopment.net