FORMAL WRITING TIPSFor essays & fiction

"WORDS, WORDS, WORDS"POLONIUS: WHAT DO YOU READ, MY LORD?HAMLET: WORDS, WORDS, WORDS.

                              (HAMLET 2.2.200-201)

Hamlet hates Polonius, so Hamlet is most likely being sarcastic in this passage as he responds to Polonius' question about what he is reading. For our purposes, though, we can use the quotation to highlight a fact: words are the most basic component of your writing. When people read your writing, they are of course reading your words, so the words you choose can make you a strong writer or a weak writer. Below are a few suggestions for avoiding common weaknesses in word choice.

(1) AVOID REFERENCES TO THE FIRST PERSON

I think thatI believe thatI feel thatin my opinionIt is my belief thatIt is my opinion that

WHY SHOULD YOU AVOID THE FIRST PERSON? In general, the more formal the writing situation, the more

you should avoid referring to yourself. Imagine, for instance, that you are writing a research paper in which you explain the discovery and development of medicines to fight childhood diseases. In such an essay, it would most likely be best to avoid using "I think," "I believe," or other first-person expressions. What would these expressions add to the paper? Similarly, imagine that you are writing an essay in which you argue for a new way that the United States should manage the social security system. Use of "I think" or "in my opinion" in such an essay could make you sound less confident, as if you are suggesting to readers that these are only your ideas and that readers do not need to believe them. If your purpose is to argue your position and to change the minds of your readers, though, you should sound as confident and as well informed as possible.

1ST PERSON

To some extent, avoiding the first-person ("I," "me," "we," "us," "my") simply has become a convention of formal writing, and using the first-person tends to add an informal tone to your essays. Also, though, the first-person phrases listed above (and others) are "wordy": they add nothing that is not already implied. Readers will assume that the "beliefs" expressed in your essay will be your beliefs, so why do you need to tell readers this information?

(2) AVOID WORDY EXPRESSIONS

"Wordiness," or unnecessary words, is usually caused by the use of common expressions. They are so common, in fact, that we can make a list of them. Below is such a list. In parentheses next to each wordy expression is the more concise way to convey the same idea. Notice that there is no difference in meaning between the wordy expression and the more concise one.

WORDY EXPRESSIONS – SHORTENED! due to the fact that (because)

because of the fact that (because)at this point in time (now)at that point in time (then)he is a man who (he)in today's world (today)this day and age (today)has the ability (can)in order to (to)during the same time that (when)during the time that (while)until such time as (until)in spite of the fact that (although)by means of (by)be of the opinion that (think)disappear from view (disappear)

tall in height (tall)

blue in color (blue)small in size (small)short in length (short)in a hasty manner (hastily)this is a subject that (this subject)the reason why is that (because)the question as to whether (whether)be under the impression that (believe, think)given the fact that (because)each and every one (every one)put forth an effort (try)empty void (void)past experiences (experiences)whole entire (whole or entire)

WHY SHOULD YOU AVOID "WORDY" EXPRESSIONS? Such expressions are either redundant (as in "blue in

color" or "empty void") or are a "wordy" way of expressing a simple idea (as when someone uses "at this point in time" to express the idea of "now"). Other wordy expressions are just plain unnecessary, such as "in this world." When you use wordy expressions, readers have to dig through the verbiage to get to your point.

Don't be misled by the frequent use of these expressions by politicians and other manipulators of language. Wordy expressions are an easy way to sound intelligent to the uninformed, but an informed listener or reader can see right through these empty phrases.

By the way, "the fact that" is the most commonly used wordy expression: you should always try to eliminate the expression from your writing.

3) AVOID USE OF THE PASSIVE VOICE

Passive: The cookies were eaten by me.Active: I ate the cookies.

Passive: The setting was made suspenseful by Poe.

Active: Poe created a suspenseful setting. Passive: The game was finally won by

Rainsford. Active: Rainsford won the game. When you use the active voice, you say that

somebody did something. When you use the passive voice, you say that something was done or that something was done by someone.

WHY SHOULD YOU AVOID THE "PASSIVE VOICE"? For one thing, the passive construction is always more

"wordy" than the active construction. (Notice the examples above.) Also, the passive construction takes emphasis away from whatever is being described or from whatever is performing the action.

There are times when you might want to use the passive voice, though. For example, the passive voice works well in the following sentence: "Thousands of crops were destroyed by insects." (The active construction would be "Insects destroyed thousands of crops.") The emphasis should be on the loss of "thousands of crops," not on the "insects," and the passive voice allows for this emphasis. You could also use the passive voice when you are unsure of the agent performing the action, as in "The comet was discovered hundreds of years ago."

Overall, you should avoid the passive voice, and when you do use it, make sure you use it for a specific reason.

(4) AVOID THE USE OF CLICHÉS

What are clichés? Well, here we go . . . pride and joy / between a rock and a hard place / every cloud has a silver lining /

under the weather / last but not least / hustle and bustle / better late than never / at a loss for words / easier said than done / sad but true / green with envy / free as a bird / like there's no tomorrow / tried and true / pretty as a picture / without a doubt / when all is said and done / through rose colored glasses / raining cats and dogs / as cold as ice / winds of change / as busy as a bee / as quiet as a mouse / worlds apart / time flies / going nowhere fast / slowly but surely / as sly as a fox / a needle in a haystack / one in a million / fading fast / in the long run / going to the dogs / sick as a dog / dog eat dog world / a diamond in the rough / running in circles / as smooth as glass / all that glitters is not gold / in broad daylight / out of the blue / the point of no return / to cry like a baby / hope against hope / any port in a storm / too close for comfort / without a care in the world / under the gun / laughing her head off / strutting his stuff / a face in the crowd / more trouble than it's worth / to stick like glue / too close to call / down to the wire / can't win for losing / time will tell / outside looking in / in the nick of time / spinning one's wheels / to drown in sorrow / all's well that ends well / before you know it / neither hide nor hair / the rat race / scared out of one's skin / a bull in a china shop / as pure as snow / high as a kite / here today, gone tomorrow / what will be will be / as right as rain / now or never / for love or money / to lend a helping hand / wolf in sheep's clothing / to keep the wolf from the door / a piece of one's mind / the long and the short of it / high and dry / as dry as a bone / grab the bull by the horns / get one's act together / clean up one's act / to bite the bullet /

AND MORE! a fish out of water / to march to a different drummer / in over one's

head / on top of the world / pie in the sky / to bend over backwards / dressed to kill / one's bark is worse than one's bite / living on the edge / feast or famine / when it rains it pours / shadow of a doubt / a watched pot never boils / to get under one's skin / a bundle of joy / a joy to behold / the calm before the storm / a drop in the ocean / as proud as a peacock / as stubborn as a mule / as happy as a lark / to rub the wrong way / an uphill battle / truth is stranger than fiction / a race to the finish / to step over the line / to make a mountain out of a molehill / to sow what one reaps / skeletons in the closet / behind closed doors / to cry a river / to burn a hole in one's pocket / easy come, easy go / to let sleeping dogs lie / dead men tell no tales / time waits for no man / to add salt to the wound / smooth sailing / a cut above the rest / head and shoulders above the rest / eyes on the back of one's head / a good head on one's shoulders / in a blaze of glory / like it or not / to brighten one's spirits / to go down the drain / to be pushed to the edge / let the chips fall where they may / up against the wall / back against the wall / light's on but nobody's home / a beacon in the night / fight the good fight / gone but not forgotten / spur of the moment / no strings attached / things going downhill / at one's beck and call, so on and so forth . . .

WHY SHOULD YOU AVOID CLICHÉS? The number of clichés here emphasizes a point: clichés

are common, and that's exactly the reason you should avoid them.

Beginning writers often mistakenly think that clichés are effective ways to make their writing sound more "literary," more creative, or more original. However, clichés have just the opposite effect. They are worn-out expressions that have lost their vitality from overuse, and they are one sign of weak writing.

Think about this: when you hear somebody say, "every cloud has a silver lining," do you ever visualize the image? When you have heard this expression, have you ever actually seen a mental image of a cloud with that silver lining shining through? Probably not. You have heard the expression so many times that you don't even think about the image.

HOW TO AVOID CLICHÉS If you want to express the idea that everything was very

quiet, do not write that "not a mouse was stirring." William Shakespeare, 400 years ago, wanted to express the idea that everything was quiet, so he wrote that there was "Not a mouse stirring" (Hamlet 1.1.11). Almost 2000 years ago, the Latin poet Virgil, in his Aeneid, used the phrase "bit the dust" (in Latin, even!) to describe a soldier falling in battle. Coming up with your own expressions is much better than using phrases that are already familiar to nearly all readers, phrases that, in some cases, have been used for hundreds or even thousands of years.

Clichés are sort of "pre-packaged" ways of expressing ideas. When you find yourself using a cliché, try to think of your own way of expressing the same idea. Who knows? If you are creative enough, people might be using your expression hundreds or thousands of years from now! (And English teachers will tell them not to . . .)

CUTTING THE CLUTTER

"Clutter is the disease of American writing," says William Zinsser in his classic text On Writing Well. "We are a society strangling in unnecessary words, circular constructions, pompous frills, and meaningless jargon."

We can cure the disease of clutter (at least in our own compositions) by following a simple rule: don't waste words. When revising and editing, we should aim to cut out any language that is vague, repetitious, or pretentious.

In other words, clear out the deadwood, be concise, and get to the point!

1. REDUCE LONG CLAUSES

When editing, try to reduce long clauses to shorter phrases:

Wordy: The tone that was employed by Connell was both eerie and mysterious.

Revised: Connell employed an eerie and mysterious tone.

2. REDUCE PHRASES

Likewise, try to reduce phrases to single words:

Wordy: The trap that was last used by Rainsford surprised Zarroff and readers.

Revised: Rainsford’s final trap surprised Zarroff and readers.

3. AVOID EMPTY OPENERS

Avoid There is, There are, and There were as sentence openers when There adds nothing to the meaning of a sentence:

Wordy: There are evil characters in every story. Revised: Evil characters are in every story.

Wordy: There are three reasons why Connell is the most successful at creating suspense. Revised: Connell is the most successful at creating suspense because of his use of conflict, tone, and setting.

4. DON'T OVERWORK MODIFIERS

Do not overwork very, really, totally, and other modifiers that add little or nothing to the meaning of a sentence.

Wordy: The setting Poe creates is very scary.Revised: Poe creates a frightening setting.

Wordy: He was also really scared. .Revised: He was horrified.

5. AVOID REDUNDANCIES

Replace redundant expressions (phrases that use more words than necessary to make a point) with precise words. Check out this list of common redundancies: (http://grammar.about.com/od/words/a/redundancies.htm ) and remember: needless words are those that add nothing (or nothing significant) to the meaning of our writing. They bore the reader and distract from our ideas. So cut them out!

Wordy: Due to the fact that Poe creates a frightening setting his story is more suspenseful. we should edit our work.Revised: Poe’s story is more suspenseful because of his frightening setting.

ABOUT WORDY PHRASES

Many other common phrases are also needlessly wordy and can be replaced by a shorter phrase or even a single word without losing any meaning. In such cases, the phrases should be revised. Modifying phrases, for example, can often be shortened. Below are some examples of phrases that can be simplified.

SIDE BY SIDE

Wordy Phrase Concise PhraseAdequate number of enough

As a matter of fact in fact

At the present time now

By means of by

Due to the fact that because

For the purpose of for

In a timey manner on time

In spite of the fact that despite

Over the duration of during

Take into consideration consider

Until such time as until

FINAL KEY TIPS – FICTION AND FORMAL

1 Avoid clichés at all costs. This is the most

common mistake beginner writers make. An example would be, "He was cool as a cucumber."

2 Use specifics instead of generalities. In other

words, say “dark, deadly catacombs" instead of “creepy setting” This will make your writing more specific, and make your tone more confident. (Instead of things – tell us what things; instead of sometimes, tell us when, instead of something tell us what that thing is.)

3 Avoid empty words, such as "quite," "very" and

"simply." It sounds better to say "The play was fascinating" than "the play was quite fascinating."

4 Avoid useless phrases that don't add any

substance to your writing. For example, rather than say "As it stands now, people are frustrated with our health care system," just say "People are frustrated with our health care system."

5 Be concise and keep your writing tight. Your writing will

be more powerful if you learn to edit out excess words. For example, "She arrived at the vet's office and then went inside to pick up her dog," can become, "She picked up her dog at the vet."

6 To add punch to your writing, use short declarative

sentences rather than allow your writing to become long-winded. For example, instead of "The man who had changed my life in an instant disappeared, never to be seen again," try, "The man who had changed my life in an instant, disappeared." And in a separate one-sentence paragraph, say, "I never saw him again."

7 Beginning writers must grasp the concept of "show,

don't tell." This means you must trust your readers to know what you mean without spelling things out for them. So, rather than tell the reader that "Joe was excited," show them by having Joe do something that would convey his excitement. Reading is about providing images and allowing readers to use their imaginations.

8 Use an active voice more often than a passive voice. For

example, rather than "He was enchanted by her," say "She enchanted him." This gives a more powerful effect.

BEST TIP EVER:

Edit Read your work Edit again Have someone else read and edit your work You Edit again Read your writing out loud to yourself Edit again!

Words To Avoid:

You, me, I, us, we, etc (any first and second person),

Words about your writing – essay, paragraph, conclusion, (do not talk about your writing in your writing)

Empty / nonspecific words – things, these, there is/ are, something, someone, sometimes, THIS

Words that give no further meaning – very, really, so, quite,

Words that have better options: good, bad, better, best, excellent, super,