Excavations of the Soul

8/3/2019 Excavations of the Soul

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Preface

I am not perfect. In fact, I probably make more

mistakes than the average person. Since these booklets are

essentially my lessons learned each year, its natural that some

of the lessons Ive learned come from my mistakes. When I

write these booklets each year I sometimes hesitate to share

every detail because Im not always proud of the things Ive

done. This year is no different. However, this year I have

become concerned that perhaps by writing my experiences and

sharing them, some people may feel I am acting out of

arrogance; that I am essentially saying,Here, take this, because

I know youre gonna need my advice! That could not be farther

from the truth. I know that most of you could write a similar

type of booklet and we would all benefit from the lessons you

have learned. I would like to challenge each of you, in your

own way, to reflect on your experiences this year- maybe even

write some of your thoughts down. Perhaps even consider

writing a booklet like this for your experiences of next year.

Im not going to hop on the journal preaching bandwagon

because I dont even write down my experiences until the latter

third of the year! But more reflection and thought about our

experiences opens the gate for divine tutoring.


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Excavations of the Soul

This year I have discovered a wealth of spiritual

insights from the archives of the churchs online database of

talks found at LDS.org. All the Ensign magazines are found

there beginning in 1970 until now. Therefore, old general

conference talks are readily available. My home teachers

introduced me to a new searching tool, LDS citation index.

With the LDS citation index, you can take a scriptural reference

and look up talks that have used that scripture. Its all pretty

amazing! Additionally, I found a website that has an archive of

all Neal A. Maxwells addresses. I was particularly excited

about that because he is one of my favorites! I am a huge fan of

the way he writes (and speaks, but usually to understand I have

to go back and read the talks after they come out in print).

You may have noticed that my titles for these booklets

often come from the words of Elder Neal A. Maxell. This year

is no different. From the April 2000 General Conference talk he

gave, I found this quote:

We are to do what we can within our allotted

acreage, while still using whatever stretch there

may be in any tethers. Within what is allotted to us, we

can have spiritual contentmentThere are those who

are unmarried, through no fault of their own, or

yearning but childless couples. Still others facepersistent and unreconciled relationships within their

circles of loved ones, including offspring who have


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become resistant to parental counsel (3 Ne. 1:29). In

such similar situations, there are so many prickly and

daily reminders. Being content means acceptance

without self-pity. Meekly borne, however, deprivations

such as these can end up being like excavations that

make room for greatly enlarged souls.

We are all given challenges to face in this mortal existence.

Elder Maxwell acknowledges that in his talk. But he also

makes the point that if we endure our challenges and are

content with the things allotted unto [us] (Alma 29:3), we

will find within our little sphere of existence the necessary

experiences that will urge us on to eternity. Our individual

excavations of the soul are the challenges we face, the physical

and spiritual pain we endure, and the growth we experience

because of those circumstances. Elder Maxwell says, Lifes

necessary defining moments come without our

allotmentsOur responses are what matter.

Taking a little closer look at the meaning of the word

excavation, it is apparent that it means more than digging. In

archeology it means the exposing, processing, and recording of

archeological remains. In medicine excavation means to

hollow out a space. We can take from both of these meanings

and get at the essence of what it means to experience

excavations of the soul. An excavation can be the exposure of aweakness or strength. It probably includes the processing of the

experiences we encounter in mortality. After all, we are


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spiritual beings having a mortal experience. Excavation can

include recording experiences, as well, in journals and other

places (perhaps a booklet of reflecting on the year??). The idea

of hollowing out my soul is also appealing to me because I

know imperfections run rampant in my soul. Removing those

things and replacing them with the love of the Savior and

knowledge of His goodness can be part of the process ofexcavation as well.

In the process of recording my own experiences this

year, I have been able to learn more about myself and the

spirituality of this mortal experience. I have felt some

excavations of my soulfrom the exposure to the hollowing. It

is my hope that, as you read my experiences, you will feel a

desire to reflect on your souls and the changes that have taken

place in you this year.

Book of Mormon Messages

In late August Bishop Richards challenged the youth of

our ward- and anyone else in the ward who wanted to

participate- to read the entire Book of Mormon by November

30th. I began riding public transportation to school and found

that one of the perks is being able to do my scripture reading. It

was a time for me to focus on the gospel before getting into my

school focus. Beyond just checking my reading off a list, I


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found it a good time to really try to listen to what the Holy

Ghost may have to share with me. Sheri Dew, one of my

heroes, once said, Our challenge is not in somehow coaxing

the Lord to speak to us; our challenge is understanding what He

has to say and preparing and learning how to understand Him

when He speaks. I feel like listening to the Holy Ghost to

messages Heavenly Father wants me to know is something thatI dont do as well as I should. Its easy to get caught up in

whats right in front of me.

One morning as I was reading the Book of Mormon as

I rode the train to work, I suddenly had a thought. The words of

a letter I had read on my mission came to my mind. It wasnt a

letter written to me orfor me. In fact, it had nothing to do with

me. But it also had everything to do with me.

When I was in the first area of my mission a family in

the small ward my companion and I attended invited us over to

dinner. The Vassilaros family was young- just a young couple

and their year old son. Brother Vassilaros shared with us a

letter than his father had written to him while he was serving a

mission. Although it was a personal letter from father to son, it

was something that had a powerful impact on me. I asked for a

copy of it and treasured it throughout my mission.

I dont remember the specifics of the verses I read on

the train that day. In fact, I dont think it even had anything to


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do with the idea this letter Brother Vassilaros shared with me.

But I got home from school that night and searched through my

mission memorabilia for the letter. I found the copy and began

to read

Weaknesses are our friends; not enemies. They bring

us humbly to Christ. They make us humble. They give

us the need to pray and depend on God. They

eventually become our strengths. At the end of eachjourney of change we always look back at the

wilderness we just quit and express gratitude for

having had to travel there.

On the other hand, you must beware of magnifying

your weaknesses so far out of proportion that they are

all you can see. Introspection is good, but you must

eventually accept yourself for who you are, strengthsmixed with weaknesses, and learn to see you and

others as God sees: with mercy, love, and hope. Leave

your weaknesses alone; continually troubling yourself

with them will never remove them but magnify them

from the motes that they really are into the mountains

that they really are not. Practice mercy for yourself;

give yourself the benefit of the doubt- you are human,

and a young, immature human at that. The Lord knowsall of your problems and still loves you! You are

worthy and deserving of His love just because of who

you are, not by anything you do. Focusing your energy

and attention on your problems will not make you more

valuable or beloved; probably exactly the opposite will

occur. As your weaknesses loom ever larger in your

eyes, so will everyone elses. This is the devils way,

not the divine way. Satan wants us to become full ofourselves and tormented by our sins and weaknesses.

He destroys joy by removing the hope in a Redeemer.


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He wants us to believe we are responsible for changing

ourselves- which thing we cannot do- because God will

not. If Satan can convince us that God could but wont,

he has won a great victory.

Satan wants us turned towards our weaknesses and

sins. He wants us to choke on our problems. He desires

that we squash joy in our Redeemer with the miserable

weight of our sins. Just like him. He rejects the

outstretched hand of his Redeemer.

The Zen in repentance is that the more you turn

towards your sins to directly confront and tackle them,

the more powerful, deeply rooted, and unbeatable they

grow. It is impossible for any man to root out his

problems and weaknesses by the strength of his own

arm. I know.

But as you turn from them into the arms of Christ,

leaving your weaknesses behind you, dropping them at

the feet of the Savior as He has asked- by believing in

Him as your Redeemer and assuming that He will take

care of the problems as your repent- they will lose their

power over you. You will no longer feel the need to

whip yourself with them.

I paraphrase Elder Holland (Ensign, October 1996):

once you have done all the Lord expects of you to

repent, please have the good sense to walk away from

the ashes.

You have no more weaknesses than any of us poor

mortals, but you might occupy yourself with the few

you have. The missionary experience tends to force usto look at ourselves in a light we never before

considered. This is good, but we have to avoid getting


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bogged down in the mess we find. Thats why we needa Redeemer. Let your clarifying cognizance of your

weaknesses send you to your Redeemer, who is full of

grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love. Believe in Him as

your personal Savior (Alma 5:15)- He is quick to

forgive and mighty to save. His grace is sufficient for

all of us who turn to Him. You need the joy of

forgiveness, not the misery of weakness in your

countenance and eyes. How can you fully represent

Him if you dont fully experience His power? Takeyour bundle of problems to Him, drop them once and

for all at His feet, and expectHis joy to fill you. That is

His work- to give us joy. That is ourwork- to

experience it and then to testify of it.

You are fine, David. You are in the right place doing

the right thing. The Lord loves you, I love you, and

your mother loves you. You have the gift of the HolyGhost, the covenants, and the Priesthood. Youre fine.

Go enjoy your life and your work.

When I finished reading I knew that the Holy Ghost

had sent that thought to my mind as I was reading the scriptures

that morning. The letter included very specific things that I

needed to be reminded of. It was a powerful lesson for me and

it reinforced the power of the scriptures. As we read the

scriptures, it demonstrates our obedience and faith. It provides

an atmosphere where our hearts can receive revelation. It is a

practice that opens to us the sheer power that is in the Book ofMormon as another testament of our Savior.


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A few weeks later I was again on the train and reading

the Book of Mormon. I was reading near the end of Alma. It

was a familiar part of the Book of Alma that I had read many

times. In fact, I remembered the chapter as one that contained a

verse that had touched me in an earlier time. I came to verse 41

in Alma chapter 62. It reads, But behold, because of the

exceedingly great length of the war between the Nephites andthe Lamanites many had become hardened, because of the

exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened

because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble

themselves before God, even in the depth of humility. In

previous times I had read that verse and seen myself as one of

the people who had been softened by the trials and afflictions.

Reading that day I considered that maybe I had created a shell

around my heart to protect it from the challenges of life. It

seemed like I was creating a type of defense mechanism. But I

was touched by the words of that scripture and by the power of

the Holy Ghost. It was a change I needed to make. Im grateful

for the inspiration I received through the Book of Mormon.

This experience was part of a larger lesson for me

about the Book of Mormon. In late November I was just a few

days away from finishing the Book of Mormon challenge the

Bishop had given the ward. I was ahead of schedule by about a

week! One Sunday night I was able to attend a fireside where


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Sheri Dew was speaking. She gave an absolutely amazing talk

with a message where everything seemed to speak directly to

me. Near the end of the talk she said:

Brothers and sisters, we need to think about Jesus

Christ more than we do. We need to learn about Him

more than we do. If you havent read the Book of

Mormon anytime lately, I invite you to do it. In fact,

you know what would be awesome? If you said to

yourself, Im going to read it-every last page of it-between now and New Years Day You can do it.

You dont think you have enough time. You have

enough time. Ill do it, if youll do it.

At first I thought, Oh, arent I good?!?!I beat her to the punch.

Im just about done with it! But then I felt an impression that I

needed to begin again in line with Sister Dews challenge.

Though unclear on the reason why, I realized a familiar feeling

of peace and warmth indicating that I should take her challenge

and begin again. What struck me more about this portion of her

talk was the statement that we need to think more about Jesus

Christ than we do.

As Im currently writing this, I have not yet finished

the Book of Mormon, but I am on track to finish by New

Years Day. I have read the Book of Mormon about an hour

each day, about 11-15 pages per day. On New Years Eve when

I plan to finish the Book of Mormon, my reward will not besimply the satisfaction of taking on and finishing another Book

of Mormon reading challenge. The reward has been in the


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process of completing the goal. I have felt myself being more

tetheredto the Savior, as Sister Dew explained in her talk that

night. The idea of tethering ourselves to Him reminds me of the

beautiful song, Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing. It says,

Let thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to

thee. A fetter, I learned, is a shackle or restraint; a sort of

tether. If youve ever seen a falcon trainer wear a glove whilehis bird sits on his arm, sometimes there is a cord attached to

the birdsleg and to the trainers arm. The falcon may try to

disobey and fly at inappropriate times, but he is attached to by

this fetter. I am sometimes like a disobedient falcon, trying to

fly away when its not appropriate or trying to fly in the wrong

direction or using the wrong method. Hopefully, my tether to

the Savior is strong enough to bring me back to Him.

Reading each day has brought me closer to the Lord in

many ways- in thought, in my actions, and it has deepened my

understanding of my complete reliance on the atonement. The

concluding part ofCome, Thou Fount of Every Blessing, gives

voice to my feelings.

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,

Prone to leave the God I love;

Here's my heart, O take and seal it,

Seal it for thy courts above.


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The Gardener

In a previous year I wrote about the talk by Hugh B.

Brown and the Currant Bush. Many of you have read it and

know it well or maybe youve heard it quoted in a Sunday

school lesson. It is a story that touches me in so many ways. At

the risk of beating a dead horse, I wanted to include it as an

important experience for me this year as well. Early in the year,

I heard the talk as a podcast from my iTunes library. I think it

was actually a recording of the original occasion when Elder

Brown shared the experience back in May of 1968. I highly

recommend it for any of you who have not read it. Im not

going to reprint it in this booklet, but its easy enough to accessonline if you feel like its something you want to revisit.

As I listened to Elder Brown share his story I was filled

with the warmth ofGods love for me. The feeling of love

came from an understanding of the story and how Elder Brown

was cut down in order to have experiences that would allow

him to be a better tool in the hands of our Heavenly Father.

Particularly, it caught my interest because of the evidence it

provided that God knows each of His children. I am one of His

children and, although, there is evidence all around us that we

are known by Him, its easy to forget. It was a tender mercy to

hear the words of Elder Browns story again from his own

mouth and to see how it applied in my life at that time.


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In November at the Sheri Dew fireside I mentioned

previously, she reiterated this concept in different words. She

shared the experience of having made plans to speak at a

conference in Canada. At the last minute some problems came

up at work and she thought maybe she would have to stay

home so she could deal with these problems. After wringing

her hands and worrying about it she finally decided to just seeif she could adjust the flights and come home sooner. She told

of how she called Delta airlines at midnight, just a few hours

before she was to leave on her trip (8am the following day).

Miraculously, she got an agent on the phone who knew who

she was because Sister Dew had helped the agents father with

a project a long time ago. The agent was very helpful and

arranged everything beautifully. This was a testimony to Sister

Dew that Heavenly Father knows her and wants to help her.

She said,

I came back from that trip and said to myself, Okay,

you just had a living example of a principle that appliesto every one of us. And that is, that in that moment,

God knew who I was. He knew where I was. He knew

what my life mission was, meaning what I had

promised to do, and he knew what I needed in the

moment to accomplish that mission. I think that

principle is true. God knows who you are by name. He

knows where you are. He has put you where you are.

He knows what your mission is- and I mean, your lifemission. I believe we each came with a life mission

with a scope of things we pre-mortally committed to


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do, said we were willing to do, said we were willing to

help accomplish in the building up of the kingdom of

God in the last part of the latter days. And He also

knows exactly what we need to accomplish that

mission. I have had a whole lot of travel arrangements

that did not work out nearly as quick as that one did.

But in that moment those little things helped me do

something that I think I actually agreed to do and

needed to do. And I believe that principle is true. You

have a mission. And God will help you. He will helpyou if you want Him to and if you ask Him to.

I dont know ifyouve ever had an experience where

everything fall into place just rightthe perfect storm, so to

speakand you know that Heavenly Father is aware of you. I

had that experience several times on my mission. I feel like Im

living an experience of that right now as I have just completed

my first semester of my PhD program at the University of

Utah. I suspect that my acceptance into the program was a

product of very good timing in applying and not so much a

product of being the best candidate who applied. I landed in a

great place at the university working with an advisor/mentor

who is a great fit for me personally. Initially, she was

intimidating to me. However, I know now that she

demonstrates the perfect combination of caring for and

challenging her students. I have no doubt that Heavenly Father

knows each of us individually and He wants to help us fulfill

our mortal life mission, like Sister Dew said if you ask Him to.


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He Hears Me

Hilary Weeks sings a great song called He Hears Me.

Here I am again, down on my knees

And with every pleading word, Thy comfort I seek

Though the words are slow to come,

My thoughts are racing by

Peace fills the room, Thy spirit is nigh

He hears meWhen I'm crying in the night

He hears me

When my soul longs to fight

Till the morning will come

And the light of the dawn reassures...

He hears me

I worked at Quiznos for the first half of the year. While

it wasnt my dream job, it was a good opportunity for me to

work with my aunt, Helen. I enjoyed working with her because

she is great at what she does, but I also enjoyed the blessing of

getting to know her more and building a dear friendship with

her.

Because I was working part time and because I was

constantly fighting off medical bills, I often found my wallet

empty and deadlines staring me in the face. As the early winter

months began to give way to the spring, I decided I was going

to start riding my bike to work to save on gas money. It was

about 12.5 miles to ride to work, but there was a nice bike path

for 95% of the way. It ended up usually taking me about 45


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minutes to an hour depending on the wind. I was clearly not in

the best physical shape and I was riding a mountain bike as

opposed to a road bike. But I felt like it was worth it. I could

get some exercise and save money!

One day that I rode to work I remember looking out the

window of the store just before my shift was ending. The

windows at the store faced south and west. It looked clear andsunny. When my shift ended I clocked out and changed into my

gym shorts and t-shirt to ride home. When I got outside and on

my bike the wind nearly knocked me over! Looking to the

north I could see dark clouds and they seemed to be moving my

way. I figured a little rain wouldnt hurt me and I began my

trek homeward.

I was riding toward the storm and the storm was

moving toward me. It wasnt long before the rain drop began to

wet my hair and clothes. At first it wasnt bad, but when the

wind really started to blow, it started to get cold. I pulled out

my phone and tried to call my dad and mom. Neither one

answered. I figured there was nothing to do but move forward.

And I was moving forwardslowly, but at least going in the

right direction. Have you ever been bike riding against the

wind? For me, it is one of the worst feelings! I was getting

more and more frustrated with my struggle against the wind.


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My hands were cold and I was beginning to drip. Then my

phone started ringing!

It was my mom. My dad was in the shower when I

called cleaning up after working outside in the rain, and he had

started to wonder while in the shower if I had taken my bike to

work that day. He called to my mom and asked her to try to

contact me. That was when my mom called. She said someonewould be there to meet me at the Centerville exit. Just as I

arrived at the exit, my dad pulled up in his truck and we loaded

my bike. It wasnt long before I was warm and safe within my

dads truck.

As I thought about that experience, I couldnt help but

draw an analogy to how our Heavenly Father is always eager to

rescue us. While I was riding home, I remembered my dad

telling me that if I ever needed a ride home when I had taken

my bike to work, he would be willing to come get me.

Similarly, our Heavenly Father offers his help willingly if we

will call on Him for assistance in our times of need.

That wasnt the only time my dad saved me this year.

Another time, before I started riding my bike to work, I realized

that I was going to need gas to get to work, but I didnt have

enough money to stretch that far. I had exhausted all my

options and decided to take the matter to the Lord. I prayed that


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I would somehow have the means to get gas in my car so I

could get to work.

The next day my dad asked to borrow my car for a

quick errand. Seeing that it was low on gas, he filled it up! I

dont think he felt like it was a big deal and I know he didnt

see it as an answer to my prayers, but it was huge. I was able to

get through until the next paycheck. Does the Almighty God inHeaven know who I am? Does He hear my prayers? I know

that He does. It is my testimony that the God of the universe is

sensitive to my very finite needs, and that He attends to these

miniscule needs according to the plan He has for my personal

growth. Of pre-eminent importance in this life are our souls

growth and our ability to learn to use our free agency well.

What Makes You Happy?

When the semester started in August, I started riding

the frontrunner and trax to school each day. It took me about an

hour to get to school, but it was doable. I also had time to read

and do homework while I was traveling, which would not be

possible while driving. Another fun part of using the public

transportation system is that you get to see all kinds of crazy

things and for a people watcher its quite fun. On my mission

I was able to do the same thing while riding the subway and


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busses in Philly - observe people and how they interact with

others and the environment.

One day as I was sitting on trax, a middle-aged man sat

down next to me. I was reading and like most train riders, I just

keep to myself. However, my reading was interrupted as the

man next to me started up a conversation. He asked if I was a

student and I replied that I was. Then he asked what I wasstudying and what I wanted to do when I finished. All of these

were normal questions. Then he suddenly said, What makes

you happy?Before I could answer he quickly said, I think

our happiness is based on ourperformance in life. At first, the

idea kind of resonated with me. If we succeed we are usually

happy people, right? But it only took a second before my mind

rejected the idea. I fail a lot. If my happiness was based on my

performance, I would generally be an unhappy person. So, I

told him that my happiness comes from being with people I

lovemy family, my friendsand I told him my thought

about why performance doesnt bring happiness. He kind of

shrugged at my answer and started babbling on about his

philosophy. I didnt really pay much attention because I was

caught up in my thoughts about what had just occurred.

As a person studying how the mind affects our

performances, it was a significant question. If something other

than our performance brings us happiness, why do people want


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to succeed so badly? I was so immersed in the classes I was

taking that I naturally applied the things I learned in school to

my life. I was learning about motivation theory in class. Dr.

Newton, my advisor, is a motivation guru. Much of her

research has focused on motivation and how to maximize

intrinsic motivation. We had talked about self-determination

theory in class, which is based on the work of two socialpsychologists, Ryan and Deci. The theory is based on the idea

that in order to increase intrinsic motivation (meaning doing

things because they are naturally rewarding to us and out of our

sheer enjoyment of the activity) we should maximize the three

basic needs of humans: competency, autonomy, and

relatedness. Competency refers to being able to perform tasks

in your environment. Autonomy refers to the feeling of being in

charge of oneself and having the freedom to choose.

Relatedness refers to a natural desire to be connected with our

environment through the people around us.

When I started thinking about happiness in relation to

self-determination theory and the basic needs, it became

obvious to me that the gospel of Jesus Christ is founded on

these principles. The gospel offers us many opportunities for

growthcallings, serving others, and just following the

teachings of Jesus. Even if we dont necessarily succeed in

all that we do, the important part is that we are moving in the


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right direction and making progress (this is another type of

motivation, mastery motivation, where what matters most is the

progress of mastering skills). This fills our need for

competency. The gospel is based around respecting the free

agency of others. The Saviors mission on earth and death was

enacted because those of us in heaven who chose to come to

earth believed so strongly in the necessity for the growth thatwould come as we were challenged on earth to use our agency.

This fills our need for autonomy. The gospel revolves around

families and eternal relationships. Understanding our Heavenly

Fathers love and learning to love those around us is a seminal

teaching of the gospel of Jesus Christ. This fills our need for

relatedness.

If I were to answer the mans question again I would

say that performance doesnt always make us happy. But it can.

Our performance can make us happy if our motivation for

performing well in life is based on competency, autonomy, and

relatedness as it translates from the gospel to our daily lives.

When my performance each day is linked to the Saviors

teachings and especially His atoning sacrifice for me, I know I

will be happy.

One Foot in Front of the Other

At the beginning of December I began to realize that

my aunt, Sherlyn, had passed away a year ago. The first


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thought that came to my mind was, that if time passed that

quickly was I any better as a person today than I was a year

ago? And if not, why not? What changes did I need to make in

my approach to life that would facilitate the adjustments I

needed to make? I cant tell you that I have all the answers to

those questions. But please dont stop reading! Ill give you

my best explanation.I started to reflect on something I had read earlier this

year that had an impact on me. It was a talk I had read given by

Elder Neal A. Maxwell at the University of Utah Institute of

Religion in 1983. The talk is titled, The Education of Our

Desires. If I have not made the adjustments in my life to

become better today than I was a year ago, it struck me that

perhaps I should examine more closely my desires. Elder

Maxell first acknowledges that we have great challenges facing

us in mortality. He says,

It is your lot to live in a secular society when there is

growing tolerance for almost everything except thatwhich is spiritual, and when more and more individuals

conclude that there are no absolute principles to be

honored, only personal preferences to be

obeyedYours is the time, scripturally speaking, when

some people will rage against that which is good and

will, for the praise of the world, even make war upon

the saints. You will need to learn to love and to defend

the Book of MormonYou will handle such sternchallenges because you are made of stern stuff. You

will be able to manage all of these things because you


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have oil in your lampsBy heightening your literacyin spiritual things, you will become increasingly able to

withstand the heat of the day.

Consider this experience I had this semester in relation to the

above quote. I was walking back to the exercise and sport

sciences offices with a professor and another student. We had

just completed a class. Both of us students were her teaching

assistants. The conversation turned to sports, as it usually did,

and the student started talking about Jimmer Fredette and how

the BYU fans really elevated him to star status and put him on

a pedestal. Within a matter of seconds the conversation turned.

The student said, BYU fans need to understand that Jimmer is

not God! He was clearly exaggerating and trying to push my

buttons knowing that I was a BYU alumni. Then this professor

said without warning, And they need to realize that Joseph

Smith is not God either! I was speechless! I was blindsided by

the comment because it really came out of nowhere. It was

clearly a misconception about the Church of Jesus Christ of

Latter-day Saints. But it caught me off guard.

Well, I said nothing. I am not proud of that. In fact, if I

were to go back and relive that situation I would do it

differently. At some point I hope to have the opportunity to

clear up some obvious misconceptions about the church andmake known my testimony concerning the Prophet Joseph

Smith and the restored church. Both of those individuals are


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outspoken and obviously have negative feelings toward the

church for different reasons, which are not important for this

story. The point I would like to make here is the lack of

tolerance for religion and spirituality is growing. Religion has

almost become a bad word. Conversations of religion are

considered taboo. All this from a nation that claims the motto

In God we trust.Elder Maxwell continues in his talk by referring to a

quote by President Joseph F. Smith where he says, You and I

must take great care concerning the education of our desires.

Elder Maxwell defines our desire as that which truly calls the

cadence for our thoughts and our deeds. He then says, our

desires clearly control the tilt of our souls. The core of what

these quotes are saying should resonate with those of you who

are familiar with Elder Dallin H. Oaks talk in the April 2011

General Conference titled, Desire. He says essentially the

same thing, Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our

choices, and choices determine our actions. The desires we act

on determine our changing, our achieving, and our becoming.

Have they made the case yet for the importance of desires? For

me they did.

Back to Elder Maxwells talkHe instructed,

It is the continuing education of our desires and thealignment of those desires with the desires of our

Heavenly Father that becomes the great challenge of


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education for each of usUnless you align yourdesires with those of the Lord you will have neither

happiness here nor everlasting joy in the world to

comeYou must be desirous of being further

instructed in the ways of the Lord and in the grammar

of the gospel.

In my reflection on the year since my aunt died, I am

aware that I have not made any miraculous changes in my life,but through consistent study of the gospel my capacity for

understanding the gospel has increased. I am trying to educate

my desires.

Elder Maxwells address focuses on some ways in

which we can educate our desires. He says, I focus tonight on

our strengthening our gospel grasp upon the iron rod. Frankly,

brothers and sisters, I see no way for us to educate our desires

except for us to first understand Gods desires for us and then

to proceed in that lifelong educational process to align our

desires with his. In the scriptures, the iron rod is a symbol for

the scriptures. The mere idea that the importance of daily

scripture study is taught to us over and over again should

indicate its worth. It is a major part of gospel growth. Yet

somehow it often takes a back seat to other pursuits. The

experience I related earlier in the booklet about reading the

Book of Mormon reaffirmed the importance of the scriptures

for me. Learning what is expected of us and why it is expected


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of us, is crucial to aligning our desires with Heavenly Fathers

desires for us. His ultimate desire for us is to give us eternal life

and, subsequently, joy now and joy in eternity.

The process of aligning our desires is not easy. It

requires fundamental changes in our perspective on life and re-

evaluation of our goals. Elder Maxwell says this about the

difficult process:Once we have made his purposes for us paramount in

our lives our souls will be wrenched again and again

and again. There is no pain-free way that the natural

man can be realigned, and thats why we must deeplydesire to be like Him so those desires can then be

carried out in our lives Around us all the time there

are people settling for less than they are, for less than

they have the possibility to become. And I believe somuch of that stems from an intrinsic failure for them to

educate their desires.

Some people in the world today believe that you cant control

how you feel or what you desire. I believe this idea is false. It

would impede our free agency and limit our ability to follow

the commandments. Educating our desires is not simply a

matter of reading and making ones mind up to change. I think

it entails a much more spiritual process. It involves

communicating our desires to our Heavenly Father in prayer

and specifically expressing our desire to submit to His will and

then consistently act upon the teachings of the gospel of Jesus

Christ. We must allowHim to change us.


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If Im not a completely new and better person since last

year, I can at least acknowledge things Ive learned. Reflecting

on the past year has taught me that by making one little change

after another in my life I will begin to educate my desires and

see evidence of improvement and progress. Its not an easy

process, but it begins by moving in the right direction, one foot

in front of the other.

Spiritual Roots

In early December in Davis County, Utah there was a

windstorm with wind speeds up to 102 mph. The winds

knocked over semi-trucks on the freeway. It caused poweroutages across the county. Debris and empty garbage cans were

blown about. Trees were knocked over. The windstorm caused

a great deal of damage.

The day after the storm, I rode an express bus to school

in the morning. On the way home I usually would ride the

frontrunner train, but the Farmington frontrunner station was

closed down because of damages from the windstorm. To get

home that day I had to ride a different bus that I wasnt familiar

with. Its route traveled through Orchard drive in Bountiful,

onto main street in Centerville, and on into Farmington. As we

traveled through the streets of each of these towns, I was in awe

at the damage the storm had caused. I heard stories, but seeing


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it in person was incredible. What I was most amazed at was the

size of the trees that were blown over. Trees were uprooted that

had been there for probably hundreds of years!

I watched while the bus drove and I noticed that

smaller trees were still standing. There were tiny trees that had

not been damaged at all! Why was it that some of the huge

trees had given way to the fierce winds and some of the smallertrees had fallen? In my mind I came up with a couple different

possibilities. Perhaps the roots of the larger trees did not run

deep enough in proportion to their size to stabalize the part

above ground in such raging winds.

As I thought about this idea, my mind turned to the

Sheri Dew fireside I had just recently attended. She told a story

about how she had finished planting some perennial flowers in

her yard at 9pm one summer evening and then the next

morning they were gone. They werent just picked, but the

entire plant was gone and it left holes in the ground where they

used to be. After some investigating she found that the new

neighbor girl, who was just 6 years old, had pulled up the

flowers and taken them to her back yard and lined them up

along their back patio. The little girl just loved flowers and

seeing that they came out of the ground so easily it was simple

for her to pull them all out (with the help of some cousins).


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Sister Dew told this story to make a point about a

gospel principle she wanted to share with us that night. To

relate it to the gospel she said,

How are your spiritual roots? Are they rooted? Have

they been planted? How long have they been planted?

Have they been watered, nurtured, fertilized, and

allowed to grow? Because were living in the latter part

of the latter days when if our personal spiritual roots

arent pretty deep and growing deeper and deeper anddeeper, Satan can uproot us with his equivalent of a six

year old, meaning it doesnt take much. If you want to

take the analogy a little bit further, the interesting thing

about this plant is what attracted the little six year old

was the beautiful flower on top, and in our world today

we tend to look at whats visible. Dont we? But the

root you cant see, and it actually isnt all that pretty. It

is actually way more important than the flower that youcan see and is prettier to the eye. Because if the root

gets damaged or dies, the flower cant grow, and the

flower will die.

I have found myself lately thinking about some

interesting questions. Ive found myself thinking aboutthe parts of me that arent visible to you; the parts that

you cant see. I invite you to think about the parts of

you that we cant see, that are not visible to the eye.

What does your faith look like? I asked myself, Sheri,

what does your faith look like? What does your

courage look like? What does your integrity look like?

Whats going on in that head of yours? How muchknowledge is there in there? Is it growing? Is it

developing? Is it expanding? Or is it not? What are youtaking inside of yourself by what you see, listen to,

observe, and take in? Because we control what we

bring into ourselves. How is it affecting my heart?


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How is it affecting my testimony? How is it affecting

whether or not the spirit will dwell with me? I invite

you to think about what the part of you that we cant

see, looks like.

My theory is that the trees in the recent windstorm

didnt have deep roots and that the winds were too much. Satan

is raging throughout the world right now, blowing many people

out of their gospel centered habits. He is anxious to find

weaknesses that will give way to his attempts at knocking us

over. Like, Sister Dew says, it doesnt take much the

equivalent of a six year old. It seems that unless we are

constantly striving to grow our roots deeper, we are more

vulnerable to the winds that constantly blow around us in thisworld.

The questions that Sister Dew asked in her talk that

night really caused me to reflect. I challenge you to reflect on

those questions or maybe similar but more pertinent questions

for your life. It is often the unseen things that are more

important than what is visible. I am reminded of a classic

newspaper article titled, Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

When the young girl poses the question to the editor of the

New York Sun newspaper, Francis Pharcellus Church, he

replies with a beautiful essay on the existence of Santa Claus.

He claims that reality is often what you cannot see.


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Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there

is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are

those that neither children nor men can see. Did you

ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but

that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can

conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen

and unseeable in the world.

Some of the most real things I know are based on feelingson

the unseen parts of me. I know that Heavenly Father knows me.

I cant see Him or touch Him, but I know He is there. I can feel

His love for me and for those around me. I am grateful for

things unseen. My spiritual roots need to go deeper. They need

to run deep enough to cling to the core of the earth so that I can

withstand the weathering of worldly winds. Jesus Christ is thatcore. My goal is to tether myself to Him and to the Father.

Understanding Maps

There are all different types of mapscity maps, world

maps, political maps, climate maps, topographic maps,

Disneyland maps, mall maps, and road maps. I used maps on

my mission a lot! They were super useful in finding our way

around new areas. As long as you know how to read a map,

they can be the most essential thing for a trip. But selecting the

correct type of map is important. I have thought a lot about

maps this year because of an article I read from the New Era

published in the November 1971 edition. It was written by C.


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Terry Warner and titled, An Open Letter to Students: On

Having Faith and Thinking for Yourself.

Brother Warner suggests that many different kinds of

maps can represent the same area accurately, just with different

information. He says,

No map can show everything about the area it

represents. Indeed, in order to be intelligible, a map

must drastically simplify things; it must leave out allbut what it means to representFor example, [thecartographer] may want to make a map that enables

motorists to travel most efficiently across the country.

On this map he symbolizes the freeways and toll roads

and elevations, but he makes no indication of fishing

holes or lilac trees or shops that sell imported cheese.

Just like the cartographers goals for the map influence what is

included, an individuals goals shape their outlook on life and

what is included in the past, present, and future for that person.

Our maps are influenced by (1) social factors (goals of family

and society, training and education), and (2) individual factors

(a persons own desires and goals).

Whatever our maps include, then, influences our

view of the world. Brother Warner cites a few examples to

illustrate this point. Eskimos can differentiate between nine

types of snow. Most people know only one kind of snow - the

white kindor sometimes we say, wet snow or big flakes.Meteorologists can see a storm coming by the type of clouds on

the horizon. Most people only see clouds. Then he offers this


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powerful insight: The trouble with the others [meaning non-

Eskimos and non-meteorologists] is that, though they have

perfectly good eyesight and hearing, their maps of reality-

their networks of ideas- are deficient. Essentially, we see

things the way that our maps or ideas represent them.

This idea of maps is important to me because of the

opening line of Brother Warners article. It reads: Has is evertroubled you that many intelligent and highly educated people

dont share your religious beliefs? For me, the answer is yes.

After having attended school going on 19 years now, that

question has crossed my mind. Ive interacted with some very

intelligent people who dont have any faith in a divine being. It

almost seems as if their education has robbed them of the

greatest truths the universe has to offer. This article has

prompted me to reframe my view of education in general. Why

am I working towards another degree? How does it fit in with

spiritual knowledge? Is my knowledge in the gospel

complementary to the secular knowledge I spend so much time

scrutinizing in my PhD program? The answers are not

completely clear to me at the moment, but Im confident that

they will.

Brother Warner gives five final insights to conclude.

1. Do not doubt your own convictions because the

intellectuals you interact with do not believe as you do.


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2. It is good to learn all you can from academically trained

nonbelievers in their respective professional areas, where your

purposes and theirs coincide. But where your desires and

purposes differ from theirs- where, for example, you are

seeking eternal life and they are not- their maps will not help

you.

3. You can integrate a secular map into a gospel one, but notthe other way around. This is because the latter represents more

than the former.

4. You can make an impact on these intellectuals by

capitalizing on the discrepancy between his desires and his

inherited mapHe cannot help but see, if he is honest, that you

have achieved what he wants in lifeIf you are what you

ought to be, what you are will call into question all hes been

taught to believe.

5. We must change and develop ourselves so that we can

comprehend the things of God. We do this by (1) seeking a

change of heart, and (2) studying the scriptures. Why study the

scriptures? Because they contain the core of the Lords map

of reality insofar as it can be adapted to our understanding. You

should read, make notes on, and reread the scriptures and the

conference reports, pleading with the Lord that your heart will

be softened and that these writings will, line upon line, grow

comprehensible to you.


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There are so many personal lessons for me in those five

points. I hope they have sparked light in your mind for

something that you have been thinking about. We are all

minorities on the earth as members of the church. Therefore,

there are ways all around us to apply these principles to our

friends who have not been blessed by the gospel yet, whether

or not they are considered intellectuals. I encourage you toconsider your own map and evaluate how it fits into the

gospel map.

Still Time

Girls camp this year was planned by the stake. I was

called as the ward camp leader a year earlier so it was nice to

have the stake in charge. The theme this year was, Who Are

You? and the challenge was to encourage the young women of

the stake to reflect on their worth as daughters of God and how

they should act once they are aware of that. I was touched by

the theme and the messages presented at camp.

As part of each day at camp the stake leaders set aside

30 minutes to an hour of still time. Still time meant that each

girl was to find a quiet place outside of their cabins to write in

their journal, read their scriptures, and ponder the importantthings in life. It was a challenge for some of the girls and other

girls really embraced the quiet time.


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I found myself loving each minute of still time. I was

able to reflect on some parts of the scriptures that had touched

my soul. Alma 34:31 was something I had read many times

before, but for some reason it had really sunk into my heart this

time. It says, Yea, I would that ye would come forth and

harden not your hearts any longer; for behold, now is the time

and the day of your salvation; and therefore, if ye will repentand harden not your hearts, immediately shall the great plan of

redemption be brought about unto you.

That scripture read differently in my mind this time. I

felt like it was saying each day, every day of our lives is a part

of eternity. We often speak about eternity as a future point in

time, but right now is a part of eternity. I also felt like it said as

we repent the plan of redemptionthe miracle of the

atonementwould be made effective in our lives now.

Knowing that the atonement works each day in our lives is

something I was familiar with, but seeing it pop out of the

pages for me in that scripture really impacted me. It reminded

me of a quote by Robert L. Millet. He said,

Each of us knows deep down that eventually we must

surrender to the Lord and open ourselves to his will for

us. But not today. Not that way. Surely, we suppose,

there will come a time when we will be more prepared

to make the sacrifice of self and lay it all on Godsalter. But not now. The cold hard fact is that if we wait

until some special, red-letter day to offer our all to the

Almighty, the day may never come.


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Each day as still time began I would go check in all the

cabins and encourage the girls to come out and enjoy nature

while they read. One day there were two girls who refused to

come out. I told them that I knew they were comfortable on

their beds and that it might be a challenge, but I also told them

it was something the stake leaders had encouraged us to do. It

was a matter of obedience, I explained. I expressed my hope

that they would chose to do what was asked and I knew

Heavenly Father would bless them for good choices.

I walked out of their cabin and hoped that they would

decide to come out on their own. I certainly couldnt make

them. A couple minutes, later one of the girls sauntered out of

the cabin and found a place to experience still time in nature. I

read the following scripture shortly thereafter. Therefore, O

my son, whosoever will come may come and partake of the

waters of life freely; and whosoever will not come the same is

not compelled to come; but in the last day it shall be restored

unto him according to his deeds (Alma 42:27).

Still time is something I want to transfer into my daily

life. It may not be that I can go outside and enjoy nature every

time, but I can certainly find a quiet place to ponder and

commune with the Lord. It is in those quiet moments that theLord will speak to us.

Documents

Excavations of the Soul