Evidence, Inferences, Theses and

“The Game of School”

AOSR: English 10Josefino Rivera, Jr.

Sept. 30 & Oct. 1, 2010

Homework Metaphor Essay Brainstorm Handout

Step 4 Step 5

Begin drafting your essay Thesis Claim 1 + Evidence Claim 2 + Evidence Claim 3 + Evidence

Today’s Objectives To compare scholars and gamers To develop specificity in evidence To create a level 3 thesis statement

Scholars vs. GamersScholars Similarities Gamers

Goals in Life

Motivation

Stress & Happiness Level

Skills Used Most Frequently

Who Are Their Friends

How They Respond to a Failing Grade

The Essay Introduction + Thesis Claim 1, Evidence, Commentary Claim 2, Evidence, Commentary Claim 3, Evidence, Commentary Conclusion

The Writing Process Prompt Evidence Recognize patterns among inferences Create thesis statement Draft paper: thesis, claims, evidence, commentary Include introduction and conclusion Revise, revise, revise Add a title

Claim vs. Evidence A claim is your opinion

about the prompt. Evidence are facts

that support your claims.

They can come in two main forms: Quotes from the text. Personal anecdotes.

Evidence What makes strong evidence?

Specific who Specific what Specific when Specific where

Strong Evidence Claim: A child may learn many useful and interesting things. But he also

learn to undervalue his own learning in favor of “doing the work,” pleasing his teachers, getting good marks on his report cards so his parents will be happy.

Evidence: I was an avid reader through fourth grade. I read every Babysitter’s Club book ever made. When I went to fifth grade, I was faced with grades! My teacher had the reputation of being extremely strict. I was no longer allowed to read any Babysitter’s Club-type books. Every semester if we wanted an A in reading, we had to read 1,000 pages. Now, I loved reading, yes; but I wasn’t a fast reader. Yet I wanted that A. I started complaining of my “eyes hurting” when I read, and I stopped reading. I lied about the books I read, and I faked all the book reports. I didn’t read a book from fifth grade until my junior year in high school.~Kate O’Regan, former student

What’s missing? Claim: A child may learn many useful and interesting things. But he also learn to

undervalue his own learning in favor of “doing the work,” pleasing his teachers, getting good marks on his report cards so his parents will be happy.

Example 1: Once when I was in fourth grade, I used to collect things because I wanted to know more about them. But when I started going to science class, he killed my love for it.

Example 2: This one time my parents didn’t let me go to my best friend’s birthday party because I got bad grades.

Example 3: In elementary school, my teachers would put stickers only on my completed assignments.

From Weak to Strong Evidence On a piece of paper, rewrite the following pieces

of evidence with more specificity. Claim: A child may learn many useful and interesting things. But

he also learns to undervalue his own learning in favor of “doing the work,” pleasing his teachers, getting good marks on his report cards so his parents will be happy.

Evidence 1: Once when I was in fourth grade, I used to collect things because I wanted to know more about them. But when I started going to science class, he killed my love for it.

Evidence 2: This one time my parents didn’t let me go to my best friend’s birthday party because I got bad grades.

Evidence 3: In elementary school, my teachers would put stickers only on my completed assignments.

Thesis Statements: Take Cornell Notes Topic: Levels of Thesis Statements

Levels of Thesis Statements

Levels of Thesis Level 1: Input Level 2: Process Level 3: Output

Descriptions L1: Restates the prompt L2: Restates the prompt and adds a

“Because” clause; lists major claims, explain how

L3: Uses new, original language, goes outside the prompt, synthesizes all major claims

How would you classify the following thesis statements?

Prompt: What controlling metaphor best describes American culture?

1) A salad bowl best captures both the disparate yet unified elements of American society.

2) America is a salad bowl.3) America is a salad bowl because it has many

different and separate ingredients, it’s mixed together, but it’s still presented as a whole.

Level 1: InputRestates the prompt

Example: America is a salad bowl.

Level 2 = Process

Restates the prompt Adds a “Because” clause Lists the major claims for the 5-paragraph essay

(sophisticated writing goes beyond this structure!)

Example: America is a salad bowl because it has many different and separate ingredients, it’s mixed together, but it’s still presented as a whole.

Level 3 = Output

Responds to the prompt using original language (jumps outside of it)

Reflects the complexity of argument through a succinct synthesis of the ideas or major claims

Can articulate the overarching theme under which all the claims fall

How to write a L3 statement

L1L2 Now look at your major claims: how can you

write an umbrella statement that combines all the ideas you want to explore but doesn’t list them? That’s the challenge.

L3: Salad Bowl Thesis

Major Claims it has many different and separate

ingredients, it’s mixed together, but it’s still presented as a whole.

Level 3 Example (think umbrella)

A salad bowl best captures both the disparate yet unified elements of American society.

Level 3 Thesis Statement

All the major claims fall beneath the umbrella statement because it summarizes and synthesizes the main ideas of your argument without repeating them.

This makes your writing more sophisticated and original!

More Practice: Classify

What controlling metaphor best captures your journey as a gamer and scholar?

1) Water best captures my journey as a scholar and gamer because it has the power to destroy, power to give life, and ability to adapt to different containers.

2) Water best captures my journey as a scholar and gamer. Its enormous range of force and physical states of matter mirrors the varied influence the educational system has had on my development as a learner.

3) Water best captures my journey as a scholar and gamer.

More Practice: Write a L3.

What controlling metaphor best describes an effective parent?

L1 = Water best describes and effective parent.L2 = Water best describes an effective parent

because it establishes boundaries, it adapts to its containers, and it nurtures.

With your partner, write a L3 thesis.

L3 Example

Water best describes an effective parent. Its seemingly paradoxical ability to both conform to structures as well as provide them gives the guidance children need to thrive.

L3: Apply

Go back to your essay. What are you major claims?

They should describe your controlling metaphor. What’s your L2 thesis? How can you unify

those ideas and create an umbrella, L3 thesis?

Write your L3 thesis and raise your hand when you are done so I can check it.