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EVERYBODY’S FREE TO WEAR SUNSCREEN WRITTEN BY MARY SCHMICH

Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

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Page 1: Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

EVERYBODY’SFREE TO WEAR SUNSCREEN

WRITTEN BY MARY SCHMICH

Page 2: Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)
Page 3: Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE CLASS OF ‘97

WEAR SUNSCREEN

IF I COULD OFFER YOU ONLY ONE TIPFOR THE FUTURE,

SUNSCREEN WOULD BE IT

THE LONG TERM BENEFITS OF SUNSCREEN

HAVE BEEN PROVED BY SCIENTISTS

WHEREAS THE REST OF MY ADVICE HAS NO BASIS MORE RELIABLE THAN MY OWN MEANDERING EXPERIENCEI WILL DISPENSE THIS ADVICE NOW*

Page 4: Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

ENJOY THE POWER AND BEAUTY

OF YOUR YOUTH

Never mind, you will notU N D E R S TA N D T H E P O W E R A N D B E A U T Y O F Y O U R Y O U T H U N T I L T H E Y ’ V E F A D E D

BUT TRUST ME,IN 20 YEARS YOU’LL LOOK BACK AT PHOTOS OF YOURSELF

AND RECALL IN A WAY YOU CAN’T GRASPHOW MUCH POSSIBILITY LAY BEFORE YOUAND HOW FABULOUS YOU REALLY LOOKED YO

U AR

E NO

T AS

FAT

AS

YOU

IMAG

INE

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DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE FUTUREOR WORRY, BUT KNOW THAT WORRYING

IS AS EFFECTIVE ASTRYING TO SOLVE ALGEBRA EQUATIONS BY CHEWING BUBBLEGUM.

THE REAL TROUBLES IN YOUR LIFE ARE APT TO BE THINGS THAT

NEVER CROSSED YOUR

WORRIED MIND

THE KIND THAT BLINDSIDE YOU AT 4 PMON SOME IDLE TUESDAY.

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DO ONE THINGEVERYDAY THAT SCARES YOUDO

N’TBE RECKLESS

WITHHEARTSOTH

ER P

EOPL

ES’

Page 7: Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

HEARTS DON’TPUT UP WITH

PEOPLE

WHO ARE RECKLESS

WITH YOURS

Page 8: Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

ON JEALOUSY

DON’TWASTE

YOURSOMETIMES YOU’RE AHEAD, SOMETIMES YOU’RE

BEHIND

Page 9: Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

THE RACE IS LONG, AND IN THE END IT’S ONLY WITH YOURSELF

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REMEMBERCOMPLIMENTS

YOU’VE RECEIVEDFORGET THE INSULTS

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IF YOU SUCCEEDTELL ME HOW

IN DOING THIS

KEEPYOUR

OLDlove

LETTERS

STRETCHDON’T FEEL GUILTYIF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE

THE MOST INTERESTING PEOPLE I KNOW

DIDN’T KNOW AT 22WHAT THEY WANTED TO DO WITH THEIR LIVES.

SOME OF THE MOST INTERESTING 40 YEAR OLDS I KNOW

STILL DON’T.

Throw away your old bank statements

Page 13: Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

GET PLENTY OF CALCIUM -BE KIND TO YOUR KNEES:

YOU’LL MISS THEM WHEN THEY’RE GONE

MAYBE YOU’LL MARRY,MAYBE YOU WON’T

MAYBE YOU’LL HAVE CHILDREN,MAYBE YOU WON’T

MAYBE YOU’LL DIVORCE AT 40

MAYBE YOU’LL DANCE THE FUNKY CHICKEN ON YOUR 75TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

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WHATEVER YOU DODON’T CONGRATULATE YOURSELF TOO MUCH

OR BERATE YOURSELF EITHER

ENJOY YOUR BODY:USE IT EVERY WAY YOU CAN

DON’T BE AFRAID OF IT

OR WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF IT

IT’S THE GREATEST INSTRUMENT YOU’LL EVER OWN

DANCE - EVEN IF YOU HAVE NOWHERE TO DO IT BUT IN YOUR OWN LIVING ROOM

READ THE DIRECTIONS,EVEN IF YOU DON’T FOLLOW THEM

YOUR CHOICES ARE HALF CHANCE:

SO ARE EVERYBODY ELSE’S

Do not read beauty magazines: they will only make you feel ugly

Page 15: Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

BROTHER AND SISTER/

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BROTHER AND SISTER

TOGETHERwe’ll make it through

Someday a spirit will take you and guide you thereI know you’ve been hurting but I’ve been waiting to be there for you

And I’ll be there just helping you out

WHENEVER I CAN.

Page 17: Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

Because the older you get,the more you need the people you knew

WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG.

KNOW YOUR PARENTSGE

T T

O

You never knowWHEN THEY’LL BE GONE FOR GOOD

BE NICEto your siblings

THEY’RE YOUR BEST LINK TO YOUR PASTAnd the people most likely to stick with you in the future

UNDERSTAND THAT FRIENDS COME AND GOBUT WITH A PRECIOUS FEW

YOU SHOULD HOLD ONWork hard to bridge the gaps

IN GEOGRAPHY AND LIFESTYLE,

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LIVE IN NEW YORK CITY ONCE,

BUT LEAVE BEFORE IT MAKES YOU HARD

LIVE IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA ONCE,

but leave before it makes you soft

TRAVEL

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{

ACCEPT||| CERTAIN INALIENABLE TRUTHS |||

POLITICIANS WILL PHILANDERYOU TOO WILL GET OLD

AND WHEN YOU DO

You’llFantasise

THAT WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGPRICES WERE REASONABLE

POLITICIANS WERE NOBLE

AND CHILDREN RESPECTED

THEIR ELDERS

RESPECT YOUR ELDERS

DON’T EXPECT ANYONE ELSE TO SUPPORT YOUMAYBE YOU’LL HAVE A TRUST FUND,MAYBE YOU’LL HAVE A WEALTHY SPOUSE.BUT YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN EITHER ONE MIGHT RUN OUT.

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ADVICEIS A FORM OF NOSTALGIA Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting

over the ugly parts and recycling it for

MORE THAN IT’S WORTH

DON’T EXPECTANYONE ELSE TO SUPPORT YOU

MAYBE YOU’LL HAVE A TRUST FUNDMAYBE YOU’LL HAVE A WEALTHY SPOUSE

BUT YOU NEVER KNOW

WHEN EI

THER M I G H T R U N O U T

DON’T MESS TOO MUCH WITH YOUR HAIRor by the time you’re 40 it will look85BE CAREFUL

____WHOSE ADVICE YOU BUY - BUT BE PATIENT WITH THOSE WHO SUPPLY IT

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BUT TRUST ME ON THE SUNSCREEN...

Page 22: Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

BROTHER AND SISTER/

Page 23: Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

BROTHER AND SISTER

TOGETHERwe’ll make it through

Someday a spirit will take you and guide you thereI know you’ve been hurting but I’ve been waiting to be there for you

And I’ll be there just helping you out

WHENEVER I CAN.

Page 24: Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

DESIGNED BY EMMA DOWNIE