EVALUATIONREPORT

2018

To Absent Friends 2018 Evaluation

Executive Summary

This report summarises and reflects on activity that took place as part of the 2018 To Absent Friends Festival.

Background

To Absent Friends is a people’s festival of storytelling and remembrance that takes place across Scotland from 1-7 November each year. It was created by the Scottish Partnership for Palliative Care (SPPC) to provide people with a chance to remember those who have died yet remain important to them.

Born out of a desire to tackle the social isolation experienced by many people who’ve been bereaved, To Absent Friends promotes remembrance of people who have died as a positive part of Scottish culture a way to strengthen community support networks.

Activity

In 2018, the To Absent Friends festival took place all over Scotland, with public events from Elgin to Oban and from Aberdeen to Ayrshire, as well as social media and online activity, and private reflection. The festival is open access. Anyone can host an event and small grants were made available to enable people to participate. There were a few obligations attached to these (such as a requirement to complete a feedback form) but otherwise the festival was very light touch about how events were run and organised.

There was a wider range of participants than in previous years showing that the festival was starting to reach beyond its usual constituencies. There were proportionately fewer from the sectors SPPC usually work with, like the NHS, hospices and care homes (16% of events, compared to 22% in 2017), more from community groups and third sector organisations (42% of events, compared to 29% in 2017).

Themes

Building Community

● 56% took part because they wanted to be part of a community event

● 69% said they found being part of a community was one of the most valuable aspects of To Absent Friends

● 62% said they appreciated meeting others

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● Verbal feedback reiterated the importance of community building and connectedness (“The event was talked about in the days and weeks that followed and new, lasting friendships were formed”, “Having a community like this to belong to helps them feel less alone in their experiences of grief”)

Providing Support

● 93% of event organisers felt they were helping people to find ways of dealing with their experience of death, dying and bereavement to some extent

● 82% felt they were supporting those who are currently experiencing difficult times associated with death, dying and bereavement

● Verbal feedback showed participants felt likewise (“The creative activity… made it easier to talk about things. I would definitely do it again and would recommend it to someone who has been bereaved”, “The talks we had were good and emotional but that’s what you need… to get it all out and the festival helped me find a space to do that”)

Increasing Sustainability

● The average grant size was £215, 16% lower than 2017, but more organisations benefitted from one

● 96% of event organisers said they were “extremely” or “quite likely” to hold an event again

● 97% of survey respondents said they would take part again

● Many organisations have now run events over several years. Some, including Edinburgh Brass Band and Poetry Circus are on their 4th or 5th year

Reaching New People

● 69% of survey respondents had not participated in To Absent Friends before

● Twitter engagement rate was up from 1.9% to 2.9% and follower numbers were up 27%

● Organisers reported new people coming to them. (“One person who had never heard of Absent Friends or any of us said it really meant a lot to her to be there, and to remember her daughter in this way, sharing it with others in similar situations.”)

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Normalising Discussion

● Every event organiser felt that their event had played a positive role in promoting openness/discussion of death, dying and bereavement (79% definitely, 21% to some extent)

● One event organiser characterised TAF thus: “Before: nervous, excited, worried, eager. After: proud, hopeful, brave, interested”

● Another participant commented, “We don’t talk about this enough, but there never seems to be the right time”

Conclusions

● The festival continues to resonate with people and organisations. Feedback shows they strongly value the community support elements and endorse the idea.

● A little money goes a long way. Very effective events can be held with very little money.

● Participants welcome SPPC’s support. SPPC’s institutional presence helps validate this kind of activity, and many organisers were glad to have SPPC staff at their event as a reassurance.

● New ideas are needed. New people come to TAF each year, but many activities such as the online TAF wall have been running for many years so regular participants are over-familiar with them. New ideas may be needed to re-energise these people.

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Memorial organised by Breathe Easy Clackmannanshire

Background

History

To Absent Friends, a people’s festival of storytelling and remembrance, was created in 2014, and takes place between 1 – 7 November each year. The 2018 festival was the fifth edition.

The festival exists to provide the people of Scotland with an opportunity to remember those they have loved who have died, through stories, celebrations, reminiscences and community gatherings.

It was established by the Scottish Partnership for Palliative Care (SPPC), through their leadership of Good Life, Good Death, Good Grief (GLGDGG), the alliance working to encourage more open and supportive attitudes and behaviours relating to death, dying and bereavement in Scotland.

Rationale

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People who have been bereaved can experience social isolation because people don't know what to say or how to act towards them, and it is important to develop community capacity to support people who have been bereaved.

To Absent Friends therefore promotes active remembrance as a way to strengthen community-based support networks and allow individuals opportunities to remember, to tell stories, to celebrate and to reminisce about people who have died but who remain important to them.

Resourcing

The Festival is supported centrally by SPPC staff but is driven by grassroots activity.

The SPPC administers a small grants scheme for GLGDGG members. Event organisers can apply for a grant from the fund of up to £250 to support costs such as room hire and catering, and to keep events affordable for all-comers. This funding scheme has run successfully for several years and has proved a valuable means of prompting activity.

The application process is light touch and flexible, to encourage applications from smaller, less-well resourced organisations. Applications are then assessed with preference given to:

● Smaller organisations

● Publicly accessible events/activities

● Innovation

● Replicability

30 grants were awarded1 (up from 21 in 2017), totalling £6,463 (up 19.5%). The average grant size was therefore £215.43, a decrease of 16.3%2 on 2017. This suggests it is not the size of the grant that works as a spur for activity. It is simply the provision of a small amount of seed funding for an event that works.

Fewer unfunded events took place this year - 12 compared to 20 in 2017, although given the nature of the festival, no-one is required to notify SPPC if they are holding an event. It is possible events took place that SPPC weren’t informed about.

The SPPC also organised a launch event for the festival. In keeping with the grassroots theme of the festival, the SPPC opted to take the launchto a community venue – the Living Memory Association’s Reminiscence Room at Ocean Terminal. Guests were able to hear from event organisers over light refreshments, in a room full of memorabilia and designed for storytelling and reminiscence. There was also an introduction to the festival by Development Manager Robert Peacock and a performance by poet Colin Bramwell who was also a participant in one of the funded events.

Activity

1 An additional grant was originally made but was refunded when the intended project didn’t happen.2 In 2017, grants of up to £350 were offered for concert performances.

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To Absent Friends is not a traditional, curated festival. It is non-prescriptive (anyone can participate in whatever way feels suitable to them) and it is predominantly led by ideas from the community, with only a handful of centrally-organised events. The SPPC enable, rather than deliver the festival, through the provision of information, inspiration, small grant funding and a central hub to promote and support the events.

In 2018, 43 events took place that are known about. This is roughly in line with last year, when there were 45 events (of which four were run by the same organisation using a single grant).

12 (28%) had a musical performance as part of the event, 10 (23%) had spoken word elements. 14 (33%) encouraged some sort of verbal contribution by attendees and the same number encouraged written remembrances. 16 (37%) contained some crafting or making element. 4 (9%) featured a communal meal, while 16 (37%) offered refreshments such as tea and coffee.

Exact figures for attendees are impossible to obtain but based on self-reporting by the organisers that provided feedback, the average attendance at an event was 47 (compared to 57 in 2017), ranging from large scale activities with over 300 participants to private events with only a handful of attendees. Over 17,000 attended the Hibernian v St Johnstone match at which To Absent Friends walls were displayed.

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List of Events

Launch EventLiving Memory Association, Leith (1 Nov)Launch of the festival among a treasure trove of photos and memorabilia from bygone days.

Good Grief: Celebrations of Living and DyingCranhill Development Trust, Glasgow (5 Oct & 2 Nov)A walk with candlelit lanterns and tributes to honour absent loved ones, followed by a ceremonial burning and community meal.

ReflectionsSpynie Kirk, near Elgin (25 Oct)Open as a quiet space, with an opportunity for simple acts of remembrance.

Memory Box Workshop Wardie Parish Church, Edinburgh (26 Oct)A workshop for people to make memory boxes to be displayed in the church during To Absent Friends week

Inheritance Tracks Exhibition North Edinburgh Arts, Edinburgh (31 Oct onwards)An exhibition of vinyl album covers inspired by memories of those who have left us.

Postcards to Absent FriendsVarious locations, Oban (1 – 7 Nov)Programme of events organised by Oban Hospice, including a remembrance café, crafting session, film screening and local radio show.

Broomhouse Centre Events Broomhouse Centre, Edinburgh (1 - 8 Nov)Programme of activities, including a Tree of Remembrance and singing and storytelling with dementia group, The Beacon Club.

Moments We Hold DearUniversity Hospitals Wishaw, Monklands & Halmyres (1 - 7 Nov)Photo and music sharing activities organised by the Spiritual Care and Wellbeing Department.

To Absent Friends Exhibition Pullar House Atrium, Perth (1 - 7 Nov)Original To Absent Friends exhibition on display at Perth & Kinross Council offices, giving staff chance to reflect and prompting them to share their own stories.

To Absent Friends WallAyrshire Hospice (1 – 7 Nov)A display in the staff corridor to the dining room to allow staff to leave tributes

A Different Kind of Night Out

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Moray Playhouse, Elgin (1 Nov)Screening of the film Coco followed by an Absent Friends Supper.

Dryve for Life, Love & Absent FriendsSteeple Church, Dundee (1 Nov)An evening of celebration, remembering and sharing with live music, poetry and stories.

Crocus Group MuralCrocus Group, Inverness (1 & 6 Nov)Space for children and young people to share memories and photographs in a display.

Garden Light Lantern Making North Edinburgh Arts, Edinburgh (1 & 6 Nov)Sessions to create picture lanterns in memory of loved ones.

Memories in the MakingGallery 966, Govan (2 & 9 Nov)Opportunity to get together with others experiencing bereavement in two craft classes in memory of loved ones.

The 900 Club The Project Cafe, Glasgow (2 Nov)The story of four estranged friends reuniting after five years to commemorate a lost friend.

Creative Breakfast to Absent FriendsMacrobert Arts Centre, Stirling (2 Nov)Hosted by and for Stirling's creative community to share thoughts and reminisce about those who’ve inspired creative practice, and to explore the role of creativity in exploring grief and the taboos around it.

To Absent Friends LunchSheddocksley Baptist Church, Aberdeen (3 Nov)A picnic style lunch with storytelling and other activities, hosted by the Sunrise Partnership.

Afternoon Tea for Absent Friends Forres Town Hall, Moray (2 & 3 Nov)An afternoon tea of music, storytelling and remembrance.

A Dance Party for the Dearly DepartedTramway, Glasgow (3 Nov)A private space to dance in celebration of a loved one.

Hibernian Absent Friends WallEaster Road, Edinburgh (3 Nov)A space around the stadium for fans to leave written or photo tributes to Hibs fans who have died.

Vox Coelestis: To Absent Friends Canongate Kirk, Edinburgh (3 Nov)A programme of music which evokes memories of absent friends, some chosen by the choir’s singers, some by audience members.

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The Edinburgh Singers: Agnus Dei St Mary’s Cathedral, Edinburgh (3 Nov)The words of the Agnus Dei set to Barber’s Adagio for Strings, among other a capella choral music which traces the journey from grief to consolation.

Broken Chains Remembrance CafeHoward Centre, Kilmarnock (4 Nov)Local musicians remember and celebrate those who have died but who are “aye wi’ us”.

To Absent Friends Community Ceilidh & Reminiscence Cafe Willowbrae Parish Church, Edinburgh (4 Nov)A family-friendly evening of music, dancing, reflection, tea, coffee, cake and chat to celebrate and reminisce about the people we love who have died.

Get OrganisedUsher Hall, Edinburgh (5 Nov)A varied programme of memorial music to reflect on absent friends, by city organist John Kitchen.

Elevat8: To Absent FriendsPatchwork, 15 Wellington Street, Kilmarnock (6 Nov)An opportunity to come together and talk about absent friends, creating a space to celebrate through a wall of remembrance and storytelling.

Cruse Café of ReminiscenceSloan’s, Glasgow (6 Nov)An opportunity to share stories and memories of the people we have loved who have died.

Stars In Our SkiesGlentanar Court, Paisley (7 Nov)Tenants, family and friends, neighbours and others come together for an evening of music, poetry and reflection.

To Absent Friends at HMP EdinburghHMP Edinburgh (7 Nov)An opportunity to talk about someone who has died, in a small group setting, with calligraphy and origami memorials.

Carriden Community Volunteer Group Sharing Good MemoriesLund Hall, Bo’ness (7 Nov)An Afternoon Club for retired men and women to share memories of friends and family, linked by poems, slides and music.

Life Through ArtVictoria Hospice, Kirkcaldy (7 Nov)An art workshop for staff and volunteers to allow them to openly discuss and reflect upon their experiences with hospice patients.

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Music Makes My Memories MagicalPeacock Nursing Home, Livingston (7 Nov)A cheerful afternoon of music and memories with a guest singer performing the favourite songs of past residents.

To Absent Friends CaféScottish Poetry Library, Edinburgh (7 Nov)A space in which people can come together to talk about lost loved ones through conversation and poetry.

Café of ReminiscenceSupport for Ordinary Living, Wishaw (7 Nov)Space to talk to either friends or strangers and share stories and memories over tea and cake, with a To Absent Friends wall.

PAMIS: To Absent FriendsKirkcaldy Gold Club, Kirkcaldy (7 Nov)The only organisation in Scotland that solely supports people with profound and multiple learning disabilities holding a night to remember loved ones by, among other things, making memory jars.

Poetry Circus: BelovedWoodland Creatures, Leith (7 Nov)An evening of spoken word and music paying tribute to absent friends, featuring special guests and open mic slots.

Breathe Easy Clackmannanshire Honouring Our Absent FriendsSt Mungo’s RC Church Hall, Alloa (8 Nov)A musical afternoon commemorating members sadly no longer with us, featuring soloists Leona Hens and Craig Miller, Sauchie Community Choir and Forefront Stage School.

Edinburgh Brass BandSt Mary’s Episcopal Cathedral, Edinburgh (10 Nov)A selection of reflective music, taking inspiration from and honouring absent friends.

GRASP: A Celebration of LifeCrown Care Centre, Greenock (15 Nov)An afternoon for members of Greenock Recovery Alcohol Support Project to remember those who have recently passed away, with a cup of tea and a light buffet.

Pebble Painting & Tile MakingMargaret Kerr Unit, Melrose (15 Nov)Craft activities to remember loved ones, with coffee, tea and home baking.

To Absent Friends at HMP KilmarnockHMP Kilmanock (23 Nov)A lunch to allow prisoners to share their experiences of bereavement with others including staff, prisoners and invited guests.

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Exhibitions

The SPPC has several exhibitions available to display during To Absent Friends week. The first is the original To Absent Friends launch exhibition from 2014, which includes pictures on a theme of remembrance. There are also the Essence of a Memory exhibitions, made up of entries to photograph competitions held as part of To Absent Friends in previous years.

This year the exhibitions were hosted at the following places, some of which hosted associated activities as listed above:

Venue Exhibition DatesVale Centre, Alexandria TAF 18 Oct onwardsPullar House, Perth TAF 1 - 7 NovUniversity Hospital, Wishaw EOAM 2015 1 - 7 NovWardie Parish Church, Edinburgh EOAM 2014 & 2015 1 - 4 Nov

Time For Reflection

In addition to the events and exhibitions, a place was secured to address the Scottish Parliament during the Time for Reflection at the start of the day’s business on 6 November.

The address was given by Mark Hazelwood, Chief Executive of the SPPC. It offered background to the festival and reasons why it was important, followed by a flavour of the kind of events that were taking place across Scotland.

It was screened live on Scottish Parliament TV.

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Online Participation

As in previous years, people were invited to participate in To Absent Friends online in a number of different ways:

● Changing their social media profile picture to an absent friend, and sharing their story

● Adding a tribute to the online To Absent Friends wall

● Adding a song to the online Remembrance Playlist

A typical social media profile change

The nature of social media means it’s not possible to trace everybody who changed their profile. Not everyone makes their posts public and not everyone tags #ToAbsentFriends when they do post something. Nevertheless, there were sufficient profile changes to provide a stream of tagged public posts to share via our own social media accounts.

30 new comments were left on the Remembrance Wall, and around half a dozen new songs were added to the Remembrance Playlist. There was also a story left on the Stories Wall, a space for longer stories which has not been promoted in recent years. The number of Remembrance Wall comments was down on previous years, while the Remembrance Playlist contributions were about the same.

Most of these activities were devised and first promoted some time ago which means many of the regular participants will have contributed to them more than once. The drop-off in

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numbers may therefore be due to over-exposure and familiarity. However, they remain a simple way to engage people with minimal staff input or time.

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Media Coverage

Press

The Festival was supported with nationwide press releases, targeted local press releases, and blogging activity. There was also prior trailing of the festival throughout June, July and August through Local Authorities, Third Sector Interfaces, and creative sector forums to encourage take-up of grants. Media coverage around the festival itself was very encouraging and included the following:

PRINT MEDIA Date LinkGreenock Telegraph 13-Oct No linkOban Times 25-Oct LinkEvening Express 29-Oct LinkFalkirk Herald 2-Nov LinkPaisley Daily Express 3-Nov LinkThe Skinny 5-Nov LinkGreenock Telegraph 30-Nov Link

ONLINE MEDIA Date LinkFuneral Zone 10-Oct LinkThird Force News 19-Oct LinkEdinburgh Guide 25-Oct LinkNorth Edinburgh News 26-Oct LinkeHospice 30-Oct LinkInside Moray 30-Oct LinkThe Wee Review 30-Oct LinkPaisley On The Web 2-Nov LinkThe Edinburgh Reporter 3-Nov LinkVolunteer Edinburgh newsletter 8-Nov Link

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Article from Greenock Telegraph, 13 Oct 2018

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Social Media

Twitter

Fewer original tweets were made on the official account in 2018 (3 per day compared to 5 per day). Instead, there was more retweeting of tweets by event organisers. This helped support them and helped promote the idea of TAF being an inclusive festival led from the grassroots rather than a centralised festival run by SPPC.

Engagement was up (2.9% engagement rate v 1.9% in 2017). Likes were slightly down during the week itself (116 compared to 123), but up over the wider period around To Absent Friends week (212 compared to 192).

Over the year, Twitter followers were up to 885 from 697, an increase of 27%. During the period of the festival itself the number of new followers was fairly similar to 2017.

1 - 7 Nov 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018Tweets 12 50 5 35 20Impressions 3,600 19,600 2,900 23,200 13,000Impressions/Tweet 300 392 580 663 650Engagement Rate 1.6% 2.2% 1.6% 1.9% 2.9%Link clicks 28 104 15 81 71Retweets 0 103 11 75 67Likes 0 74 6 123 116Replies 0 4 1 7 6Increase in followers 24 21

25 Oct - 14 Nov 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018Tweets 41 79 9 54 45Impressions 8,400 32,500 4,800 35,800 28,100Impressions/Tweet 205 411 533 663 624Engagement Rate 1.9% 1.7% 1.6% 1.6% 1.9%Link clicks 100 153 17 122 104Retweets 0 143 29 117 137Likes 0 110 15 192 212Replies 0 13 3 9 7Increase in followers 48 45

#ToAbsentFriends was strategically pushed as the festival’s hashtag and was well-used by event organisers, an improvement on last year when a preponderance of hashtags weakened the message. Only a couple of stray #TAF2018 hashtags were used and a small number of #AbsentFriends, which were soon corrected.

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Facebook

Promotion of To Absent Friends takes place via the Good Life, Good Death, Good Grief Facebook page, rather than a dedicated To Absent Friends page. Facebook saw increased activity, including 8 new likes over the week and 19 over a wider three week period.

Feedback

Feedback on the festival came from three sources:

● Spontaneous feedback in person or via e-mail after events

● Online survey distributed:

o via social mediao via GLGDGG newslettero via event organisers

● Written feedback form (sent to all event organisers, but required of grant recipients)

Personal feedback

Personal feedback given spontaneously was not systematically recorded, but as usual was very favourable. SPPC staff attended many more events in person than in previous years, including the Vox Coelestis and Edinburgh Brass Band concerts, Willowbrae’s Community Ceilidh, the Never Forgotten spoken word night and events run by Breathe Easy Clackmannanshire and the Peacock Nursing Home. All were well attended and organisers seemed glad to be part of the festival.

Online survey

A survey was hosted on Survey Monkey and distributed through networks. It received 39 responses, most of which (64%) were event attendees. Other respondents listed themselves as event organisers (21%) or performers (13%).

This was a different mix of respondents to 2017, when a larger proportion of organisers and/or performers responded, and a smaller proportion of attendees. Organisers were sent their written feedback forms before receiving the online survey this year, so this may be a reason for the shift. Many may have already said what they needed to.

21% of respondents had taken part in an offline remembrance activity, 13% had read others’ tributes and 10% had shared a story online. These figures were all increases on 2017, which may be a reflection of the make-up of respondents.

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Only 10% of respondents reported they had heard about the festival via work (down from 40% last year) which may reflect the widening base of organisations participating. 28% had heard through organisers (up from 22% in 2017), 26% had heard through social media (up from 13%) and 21% had heard via friends or family (previously 9%).

69% had not taken part in To Absent Friends before, an increase from 54% in 2017.

As in 2017, being part of a community event was the most popular reason for taking part (56%, compared to 62% last year). 49% wanted to honour someone’s memory (compared to 41%). Fewer were taking part because they worked in a related area (18% compared to 51%).

Community was again the top answer when people were asked what aspects of the festival they found valuable. 69% said that “being part of a community” was one of the things they valued (62% in 2017). 62% found it valuable to hear others’ experiences. The same number appreciated meeting others, a big increase on 2017 when only 19% of respondents felt that. 54% appreciated having dedicated time to remember someone. The low scorers were being able to access bereavement resources (5%) and contributing to debate (13%). These had been low, but not that low, in 2017.

Pleasingly, every single respondent found To Absent Friends to be a positive experience. 97% of them felt it helpful to have opportunities to remember (the other respondent wasn’t sure) and 97% would take part again.

To Absent Friends continues to offer space for remembrance that many people don’t find at other times of year. Only 8% regularly took part in a form of remembrance activity. 41% said they rarely or never did. This is a lower level of pre-existing activity than 2017, again perhaps

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a reflection of the fact that the survey was reaching participants rather than organisers, and people who were not involved in this area through work.

Feedback forms

All event organisers were invited to submit a written feedback form. This was a grant condition for those who were awarded grants, although one organisation (whose event had gone very well) was not able to supply a full feedback form due to internal issues and there was one non-responder. The form asks for attendee numbers, details of activities and feedback from participants. It also asks organisers to assess how well the event met GLGDGG’s aims and whether they would participate again. 96% of respondents said they were extremely likely or quite likely to run an event again.

One event (HMP Edinburgh) also ran their own feedback session in which 14 out of 17 participants rated the structure of the event very good and the remainder rated it good.

93% of organisers were clear that the event had helped people to find ways of dealing with their own experiences of death, dying and bereavement “to some extent” at least, compared to 96% in 2017. The other 7% weren’t sure.

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All the respondents felt that their event was successful in “promoting openness/discussion of death, dying and bereavement” – 79% were definite, 21% felt that way “to some extent”. 82% felt they were, to some extent at least, helping individuals and/or communities to support those experiencing difficult times. In 2017, the equivalent figure was 88%.

Do you think your activity played a positive role in…? YesTo some extent Not sure

Probably not No

Helping people to find ways of dealing with their own experience of death, dying and bereavement 75% 18% 7% 0% 0%Helping support those who are experiencing difficult times associated with death, dying and bereavement 57% 25% 11% 4% 4%Supporting NHS and/or social care staff to work compassionately and constructively with those who are dying or have been recently bereaved 39% 11% 14% 18% 18%Helping people to make practical preparations for their death 18% 14% 7% 18% 43%Promoting openness/discussion of death, dying and bereavement 79% 21% % 0% 0%

Fewer organisers felt they were supporting NHS or social care staff or helping people to make practical preparations for death, but neither of these were central aims of the festival.

To Absent Friends event at the Steeple Church, Dundee

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The qualitative feedback from both organisers and participants was overwhelmingly positive. the only exception being from one of the sheltered accommondation providers:“We did find initial kick back with groups of older residents that couldn’t quite figure out the purpose of the festival.”

Comments could be grouped under a number of themes:

Reaching people

“One person who had never heard of Absent Friends or any of us said it really meant a lot to her to be there, and to remember her daughter in this way, sharing it with others in similar situations.”

“A new volunteer very shyly asked if it was OK to come in and fill in a remembrance card for the tree. On writing the card she became very upset and started crying. After I gave her a big cuddle, we sat and chatted about her mum who had passed away two years previous.”

“One person said it was the first time she had been able to face coming back to church since the death of her husband three years previously.”

“Our target audience is taken from those hardest to reach adults who are already facing many barriers to getting out of the house.”

“One of our guys felt he couldn’t come into the room, but he came and sat in our welcome area. Each time I came out he was talking to someone else who had come to chat, eat or drink tea with him. It was wonderful.”

“The event actually overran by half an hour because of the participation during the event.”

Making connections

“Having a community like this to belong to helps them feel less alone in their experiences of grief.”

“This is a lovely fund that supports bringing the community together to remember absent friends. You can see how touched some of the participants were.”

“The artists have mentioned how audience members have reached out to them to talk to them about their performances…”

“Further reaching impact has been continued growth of communication amongst service providers, charitable organisations, vulnerable adults and indeed everyone in the city of Dundee… The event was talked about in the days and weeks that followed and new, lasting friendships were formed as a result.”

“The sense of not being alone and sitting with others who understood had the biggest impact and enabled people to benefit from peer to peer support.”

“The festival helped bond an initial group of women that found they needed space and time to dedicate around their thoughts and feelings towards those they had lost.”

Endorsement of the idea

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“I think something like this should be repeated.”

“I really enjoyed the event. It was sensitively presented and the creative activity making memory jars was a perfect way to share memories and made it easier to talk about things. I would definitely do it again and would recommend it to someone who has been bereaved either recently or in the past”

“To Absent Friends provides a great focus for remembrance activities, and it's wonderful that it has been created and nurtured as a grassroots, people's festival where people can lead, self-organise and participate.”

“It went beyond expectations and would genuinely not change anything if repeated, other than to encourage even more to attend.”

“This is something we would like to develop not just for this particular group of people but maybe additional events for other communities.”

“I think more people should get involved in this. You don’t have to talk which is brilliant. Everyone understands that it isn’t always easy.”

Inclusivity

“Having such a wide range of people there including school children made it a very inclusive event.”

“I felt it was an absolute privilege to be part of this family of people united in this way, a safe space enjoying friendship and food together.”

“At the event I went to, people had mostly been widowed, but there was also someone whose pet had passed away and I thought it was good that everyone’s grief was acknowledged and not judged.”

“Nice to bring us together with no pressure to talk but great to bring memories alive.”

“The impact on the night itself was way beyond expectations in terms of the positive vibes generated and the overall feeling of love support, and an inclusive community that was in the hall.”

“We wanted to work with a variety of groups… ranging from families, young people, refugees, asylum seekers and older persons.”

Specific remembrances

“People don’t really speak about my daughter who died at 3 months. It’s been really nice adding her onto something with my boys.”

“My sister has been dead for 15 years now. I go to her grave most weeks. I was thinking about making this lantern for her grave, but I will keep it for my mantlepiece.”

“To dance in memory of my mum, that’s an experience I’ll never forget. It was so magical and uplifting to remember what a special mum I had.”

“A lady from a local charity that was set up in memory of her teenage daughter who took her own life came along. She decided when she was there to share her story.”

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“I had intended to use the event to talk about my daughter, who died 5 years ago. However, I felt as I have still not had counselling and things are very raw, I chose to use the time to remember my Mum who died over 20 years ago.”

Positive feelings

“’It did me a world of good,’ said one lady from the reminiscence café.”

“One participant phoned the office in the afternoon after the event and left a message to say that she had found the session very useful and thanked our volunteers.”

“When we asked one gentleman what he had thought of the event he responded, ‘that was a rare day.’ Others said ‘it was just right.’”

“It was such a beautiful event. I really enjoyed making my jar and talking about my dad. Thank you so much.”

“An unplanned yet very welcome outbreak of dancing spread throughout those in attendance.”

“Before: nervous; excited; worried; eager. After: proud; hopeful; brave; interested”

An outlet for emotions

“People that had never met were visibly extremely emotional yet comfortable with sharing the moment with others in attendance.”

“Some participants arrived overflowing with emotions that found a safe space to settle for a while at one of our lunchtime events. These were mostly associated with memories surrounding a particular loved one who had died.”

“One participant said, ‘You usually put a brave face on and just get on with it at work, but you never stop thinking about them.’ Another said, ‘We don’t talk about this enough, but there never seems to be the right time.’”

“I meant to stay at the end but was feeling quite overwhelmed by the emotional impact of so many moving performances. I really appreciate getting the chance to pay tribute to my dad. Thank you for that and for your efforts towards ensuring there are accessible performance spaces.”

“It was quite therapeutic and cathartic. I can see why the patients benefit from the art and the peer support.”

“It really helped me. Everyone will lose someone one day… The talks we had were good and emotional but that’s what you need… to get it all out and the festival helped me find a space to do that.”

“I’ve lost a few people in this past year and I really struggled at first. I was a nervous wreck but I needed this.”

Artistic benefits

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“The artists themselves also highlighted how good it was for them to be able to perform their, largely more personal, work about grief in a space where there was no need to be apologetic, accommodating or worried about ‘bringing down the mood’”

“The event certainly opened people’s eyes about the role that creativity can play in helping people talk about, and feel okay about, death and bereavement.”

“Some very moving stories were shared about the way people had used creative practice to create a legacy or memory for family members to remember them by.”

“The performances were all very well respected and received. In addition, a special slot was given to a local student who was launching a comic promoting awareness of heart disease, following a personal loss.”

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Geographical spread

Events took place across 18 of 29 local authorities, the same number, but in a slightly different distribution, as 2017.

Geographical distribution of To Absent Friends events(Green = council areas where events were held, Red = areas without events)

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Conclusions

TAF continues to reach new people

69% of survey respondents had not taken part in To Absent Friends before, which reflects the new organisations that TAF has engaged this year, including Oban Hospice, Macrobert Arts Centre in Stirling, Support for Ordinary Living in Wishaw and Perth & Kinross Council. This was backed up by written anecdotes about people’s first experiences at the festival: “One person who had never heard of Absent Friends or any of us said it really meant a lot to her to be there.” “A new volunteer very shyly asked if it was OK to come in.”

Regulars keep returning

Edinburgh Brass Band, Spynie Kirk, Wardie Parish Church, Poetry Circus, the Peacock Nursing Home in Livingston and Hibernian FC are among those organisations who appear to have made TAF a fixture in their diaries. 97% of this year’s organisers said they were likely to take part again.

Community spirit continues to be a strong draw

Once more “to be part of a community event” was the top answer given as a reason for taking part in TAF, and “being part of a community” as the aspect of the festival people found most valuable. “Having a community like this to belong to helps them feel less alone in their experiences of grief,” said one organiser in feedback. “The festival helped bond a group of women that found they needed space and time to dedicate their thoughts and feelings towards those they had lost,” said another.

Even small grants are helpful

Not all organisations sought or were awarded the maximum grant. For many organisations, even a small amount of money is enough to act as a spur for activity. It is worth retaining the ability to award larger grants for groups who want to organise something sizeable or which involves large set-up costs. However, it might be worth considering a small, set amount for a standard style event like a Death Café, as happens currently with £50 grants for Good Death Week.

Time to invest in new activities

Fewer people each year are participating in activities like the online To Absent Friends wall which have been running since To Absent Friends was launched in 2014. This is likely to be because To Absent Friends regulars have contributed before and feel no need to repeat themselves. They are definitely worth retaining as easy, low resource activities to promote to new people. However, it might be worth devising and investing in something new for 2019. Interest in exhibitions has similarly tailed off as they have now been hosted many places.

Media profile could be higher

Press coverage was healthy but as in previous years, it has proved easier to get coverage where organisers have existing relationships with their local papers. GLGDGG was effective in securing coverage in online publications and sector specific press (e.g. Third Force News, eHospice) but national general interest press was harder to come by. Human interest stories are always of more interest (see Greenock News clipping on p.15) and some time could be spent encouraging people to put forward their own stories for use in this way. Recent

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responses to comments Billy Connolly made about the end of his life show that celebrity endorsement of an idea can work very well at generating press interest.

Organisers appreciate staff attendance

SPPC staff attended more events at this year’s TAF than previously. Anecdotally, this went down very well. There is apprehension in some quarters, especially among community groups, about whether they are “doing it right”. Although it is strongly emphasised that remembrance can take any form that feels comfortable to the organiser, some want assurance. An SPPC presence gave that and also enabled the team to shoot footage which would be useful for next year.

To Absent Friends memory sharing in Oban

Next Steps

Continue to build contacts

To Absent Friends has now become an annual fixture for some of the participating organisations, while continuing to attract new ones. Growth of the festival depends on continually building more connections with community organisations and others who would

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be interested in participating. It would be useful to secure one or two high profile organisations (like the RSNO in 2015) who would widen the festival’s reach.

Add To Absent Friends to the Compassionate Communities Toolkit

The value of To Absent Friends to communities has always been clear from feedback. The concept is easy to build events around and can bring people together. It therefore makes sense to add To Absent Friends to Good Life, Good Death, Good Grief’s soon-to-be-launched Compassionate Communities Toolkit as a way to create opportunities for people to talk about, plan for, offer and receive support relating to ill health, death, dying and bereavement. It will be part of a suite of activities and initiatives communities can undertake to become more compassionate.

New activities

Existing To Absent Friends activities such as To Absent Friends walls, online memory sharing and exhibitions have been popular, but take-up is slowly tailing off. New activities are needed and thought should be given to commissioning something new for 2019.

Improve publicity

To Absent Friends always generates a fair amount of coverage in local and sectoral press, but it is worth pursuing new promotional avenues to reach new audiences. To this end, video footage was taken of many events, with a view to putting together a promotional video before next year’s festival that can be shared online.

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