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Euthanasia and GriefEuthanasia and Grief
Office ManagementOffice Management
Making a hard decisionMaking a hard decision
If a dog is dying, the dog does not If a dog is dying, the dog does not know that.know that.
Should do what can with time given.Should do what can with time given.The pain of grief and the costs in The pain of grief and the costs in
money and energy make up the price money and energy make up the price we pay for the love of our dogs. It is we pay for the love of our dogs. It is a bargain, but it is a high price. a bargain, but it is a high price.
When a person has had to make the When a person has had to make the agonizing choice to put a dog to sleep, agonizing choice to put a dog to sleep, the most healing words you could say the most healing words you could say are “You did the right thing.” Don’t are “You did the right thing.” Don’t say it if you don’t believe it. But if you say it if you don’t believe it. But if you do believe it, those words will help.do believe it, those words will help.
Our dogs love us with their whole Our dogs love us with their whole selves. One who loves us wants the selves. One who loves us wants the best for us, and your dog would want best for us, and your dog would want you to heal from grief and be able to you to heal from grief and be able to fully love again. In a mysterious way, fully love again. In a mysterious way, you can even love more deeply for you can even love more deeply for knowing the cost—and the value—of knowing the cost—and the value—of love. People often find their love for love. People often find their love for the departed one continues to grow. the departed one continues to grow.
Love is infinite and powerful. You don’t Love is infinite and powerful. You don’t run out of love like a bucket becoming run out of love like a bucket becoming empty. The more you love, the better empty. The more you love, the better you get at loving—it’s like a muscle you get at loving—it’s like a muscle that grows stronger with good use. Your that grows stronger with good use. Your relationship with your next dog can be relationship with your next dog can be even better, if you will let it. Everything even better, if you will let it. Everything you learned from loving the dog who you learned from loving the dog who has left you can bless your next dog.has left you can bless your next dog.
Some people are ready for another Some people are ready for another dog right after a loss, but many need dog right after a loss, but many need some time to grieve some time to grieve
Be good to yourself during grief and Be good to yourself during grief and do the same for anyone around you do the same for anyone around you who is going through it. Don’t say “I who is going through it. Don’t say “I know how you feel”—you can never know how you feel”—you can never know just how someone else feels. know just how someone else feels. You might say something like “I can You might say something like “I can only imagine how you must feel.” only imagine how you must feel.”
Most of all, just be there and let the Most of all, just be there and let the person express feelings, including person express feelings, including tears. Tears are the work of grieving. tears. Tears are the work of grieving. Take time to do that work for your Take time to do that work for your own grief. You can come through own grief. You can come through grief with a greater joy in life and a grief with a greater joy in life and a greater appreciation of love. That is a greater appreciation of love. That is a gift your dog would want to give gift your dog would want to give you. you.
Stages of GriefStages of Grief
Denial and Denial and IsolationIsolation
AngerAnger BargainingBargaining DepressionDepression AcceptanceAcceptance
Denial and IsolationDenial and Isolation
At first, we tend to At first, we tend to deny the loss has deny the loss has taken place, and taken place, and may withdraw from may withdraw from our usual social our usual social contacts. This contacts. This stage may last a stage may last a few moments, or few moments, or longer. longer.
AngerAnger
The grieving person may The grieving person may then be furious at the then be furious at the person who inflicted the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the with himself for letting the event take place, even if, event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could realistically, nothing could have stopped it. have stopped it.
BargainingBargaining
Now the grieving Now the grieving person may make person may make bargains with God, bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, asking, "If I do this, will you take away will you take away the loss?" the loss?"
DepressionDepression
The person feels The person feels numb, although numb, although anger and sadness anger and sadness may remain may remain underneath. underneath.
AcceptanceAcceptance
This is when the This is when the anger, sadness and anger, sadness and mourning have mourning have tapered off. The tapered off. The person simply person simply accepts the reality accepts the reality of the loss. of the loss.
Grief and StressGrief and Stress
During grief, it is common to have During grief, it is common to have many conflicting feelings. Sorrow, many conflicting feelings. Sorrow, anger, loneliness, sadness, shame, anger, loneliness, sadness, shame, anxiety, and guilt often accompany anxiety, and guilt often accompany serious losses. Having so many serious losses. Having so many strong feelings can be very stressful. strong feelings can be very stressful.
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