ETHERBy WRS

Text copyright 2015 William R. SheddAll rights reserved

Shout, Shout, let it all outThese are the thing I can do withoutCome on, Im talking to you, come on

-Tears for Fear, 1985

Chapter 1: They say your life flashes before your eyes. Im sorry but I can not verify that for you. My life could have been slipping by out there, but I would not have known. My eyes were closed. Clamped shut. After all, that is what one does when there is an impending impact. There is no thinking in times like that. The moments when you know what could happen. When you are hurdling uncontrollably. All the possibilities shuffle themselves into terrifying deck of cards. They fan themselves out on the table in front of you. As if to say pick a card.any card. All at once, both positive and negative outcomes displayed for you to choose from. We see them all as if we have a choice. But there are no choices. That is the magicians trick. Hes special slight of hand. There are only reactions. Our minds go blank as the body takes over in a desperate, visceral bid to save itself. Think of how a field mouse reacts when the hawk flies above. Hyper aware and ready to run before their pursuer swoops in to claim their meal. Spontaneously, our hearts race. Our arms stretch out for anything to hang on to. Our legs fumble about for something to brace ourselves against. It is an impulse the comes from the gut. Ingrained in us, since back when we were the prey and the predators stalked us constantly.I believe the inherent human inclination is to want to survive. Thats why I slammed my right hand against the cloudy plastic window in front me. My other hand jerked left to stop the open folder I had laid out on top of the bag beside me. I was instinctively bracing myself. Frantically trying with all my might just to get through it. To survive.Right then I heard two very distinct sounds. The most over bearing, was the sound of the brake pads straining to slow down the rotors of the car. Metal on metal makes a horrifying squeal when the originator of the sound holds your morrows in its hands. The old 80s commercial uh oh better call Maaco popped into my head. I could see the old man wearing the scally cap and the tan plaid sports jacket mouthing the words out the drivers side window. His crappy, old, rusted out station wagon broke down in the middle of the street. The cheerleaders, Italian guy with the mirrored sunglasses and the old grandmother with the curlers cinched tightly beneath a bonnet were all mockingly dancing around the car. The mans grimaced face provoked by his predicament. Much like my own at the time, as I remember.The other sound was the rather high, yet oddly commanding voice of the cabby bellowing, Stop you fuck. He was pushing his foot down on the brake as far as he could get it. Lifting his butt off the seat in the process, as if he were pulling back the reins on a horse driven wagon. I think he truly believed the shear sound of his voice would halt our impending demise. Trepidation made him react hastily. He turned the steering wheel to the right, then to the left. This quick motion caused the vehicle to fishtail right, then slam the passenger side rear tire against the unforgiving stone curb. The taxi lurched as if it had hit a speed bump too fast. All I could do was bounce around as I held on for the ride. Contemplating the cabby's gratuity expectations. Praying they were low.That is when I noticed that my right leg had stretched out as far as I could get it in the cramped space. My foot was wedged under the back of the seat in front of me. Toes inside pointed back at me accusatorily, as if to say you got us into this.... The shoes I wore were cheap. They had been purchased for $19.99 at a Walmart superstore. I bought them along with a 24 pack of Quilted Northern and a blue and white toothbrush with the small pink plastic cap. The cap snapped close to keep the dust off or for travel. My shoes were faux patent leather Jarmon Mens Metropolis dress shoes, black with no laces. Needless to say, they were not designed to bend like that. Fearing I had cracked the sole near the ball of my foot, I relaxed my leg. Pulling it back to the evergreen leather seat cushion as I grabbed the hand strap above the cabs window. It was sticky. I didnt want to know what it was. A POP snapped me back to the peril at hand as the cab thankfully screeched to a halt. I could hear the metal rim scrapping the pavement below me. Like two gladiators doing battle in the Colosseum. The emperor gave the thumbs down. Foot on its chest, the granite curb raised its sword and impaled the tires heart. Having taken my hand off of the papers on top of my brown leather bag beside me, all I could do was watch as they flew onto the floor. Awe damn it, I said relieved to have been saved from my fiery doom and also pissed that I had to pick up and sort my notes again. Youre shitting me right?, I exclaimed to the cabby without trying to hide my annoyance.He was a thin man of slight build with a bushy salt and pepper mustache. I think he was Greek based on the fact that he kind of looked like John Stamos. That is if John had thinning hair and a face like a catchers mitt. Sweat poured from his balding forehead like the condensation on a glass in summer. It stuck clumps of what was left of his hair to his sunburned, pealing scalp. Sorry about that. he said through his three day old scruff as he held his hands up. He was wearing a black Public Enemy concert shirt and used the long sleeve of his left arm to wipe the sweat from his brow. I thought that oddly impressive. Not the perspiration alleviating gesture. No, that was normal considering the turmoil he had just put us through and the noon heat of a late June day. I found the fact that he was listening to Professor Griff and Chuck D impressive. I always thought they had an important message that should reach the masses. Like...I guess this guy. Grabbing the flag and pulling it up on his replica vintage taxi meter he continued, This is my taxi and times have been tough. Havent had the cash lately to keep up with the repairs. Shaking my head slightly, knowing that I have had my own troubles, I sympathized. I felt his pain. Some days it felt like everything in the world was just screwing with you. As if everything you did or tried would not work. Like nothing was or would be good enough. Just get me through today and we will see if the worm will turn tomorrow. Now I couldnt scold him for endangering our lives so I replied, Yeah, its OKDont worry about it. Things have been tough on a lot of people lately. Thanks for being understanding, he replied.Yeah, yeah.., I countered.I had to cut this guy a break and give him a descent tip. He wasnt working for a cab company with a fleet of taxis and a full maintenance department trained to keep the vehicles safe and more importantly on the road earning. Nope, he was just a one man operation. I too was a one man band with my blogging. Sure, I worked for a well known, high traffic website, but I was an independent blogger for them. That means I only get paid when I post. So, I knew what it was like to live from pay check to pay check. I could blog twice a month if I was lucky. It all depended on the amount of research that I had to put in on the subject. Which typically was more than I initially estimate. I have to put in the time though. I refuse to write dilettante crap. Yes, pride does keep me broke.Truthfully, not totally broke. I did own a lot of stock in a few companies that my father had left me in his will. They paid nice quarterly dividends. That money mostly went to paying off the student loans I had racked up at the University of Massachusetts. It his final gift to me and a God send given my chosen career.Most of the time, for the everyday essentials, I was just scrapping by. Rent, electric, gas, groceries...month after month after month. These things never end. Gets to feeling like you are working just to pay debts and taxes. Living to support a system that does not support you.In my mind I concocted a whole life for this guy. Maybe he had a wife that was too good for him and never failed to remind him of that fact. Even though he always tried to be there and do the right things by her. You know the type. A good man. Maybe he had a sick kid in the hospital with some fatal yet curable infliction that could be treated if only he could afford private insurance instead of the government run health care. Or, more likely perhaps, he was just like the rest of us. He foolishly believed that the economy would just keep growing indefinitely. He lived beyond his means by taking on too much debt and when the bubble busted he lost his job. The bills came due, as they never fail to do, heaping on pressure that was undo. Government provided extended unemployment helped for awhile. But when that ran out..maybe, the only thing he had left to put food on the table was this frigging shit box. I too lost my job when that bubble popped. I had a good job writing for the Boston Globe. One day there was a note on my desk to see the editor. It has been a struggle ever since. It still makes me angry every time I think about it. Reading the news about Too Big to Fail corporations getting bailed out but the very tax payers they screwed over in the first place. All the while millions of losses of homes, jobs and families stream the new feeds everywhere you look. It is sickening.I find myself avoiding the subject all together at times. Just to keep my sanity. Its like having a teenage daughter that has rung up massive credit card purchases and now the parents are stuck paying the billThanks Daddy!! Now go pay them things off or your credit score will crater. See ya! What choice do you have? She is your precious little ray of sunshine. You gave her the card to begin with. She will take no responsibility when she knows that you are the one who has to pay the price. She will just keep repeating the same behavior until you yank Little Miss Fancy Pants cards away. That thought brings a tear to my eye. NOT.Circumstances beyond my control affected me and fifty million other Americans. Lost their jobs, took their homes, broken families and for what? So fat cat bankers and insurance people could be bailed out? There are a lot of people who got hit a lot worse than I did. Those are the people I am trying to represent now. No more avoiding the subject. Their traumas are the stories I want to tell now. Their cause is my cause. I wanted to make sure that never happens again. So yeah, I empathized with this guys plight. That is when I pulled back from my consciousness to see the truth. It was not something I did with just anyone. I hadnt even planned to do it now but the anxiety of my thoughts and adrenalin that my body experienced in this moment ripped my out of me vessel into the ether. I know. What is that? There really is no name for it, for it does not existing in the real world. The ether is just what I call it because it is like being underwater. But it is not water. It is not a gas either. The ether is an ethereal plain that is symbiotic to our physical world. It is the spiritual world that is intertwined with our own; however intangible to corporeal beings. Only my soul has access to it.In the ether I am different but the same. I think of it as my body and mind being the limits of my perception to our physical world. For some reason, my essence has the ability to leave my body yet still be tethered. Like my own earth bound anchor. This allows me to come and go between the two as I please. Like an astral projection or out of body experience that I am fully aware of.Leaving my vessel or meat suite as I have taken to calling it allows me to see things that are not known to the meager perceptions of the human senses. I can read other peoples souls. I can read the aura waves given off by each soul. All things things they have ever done. All the feelings they have ever felt. All things past, present and future were right there for me to tap into upon the waves.In this instance I was sitting next to myself in the back seat of the cab. I could see every word being spoken. I could hear every movement. I could feel every thought and inflection in my own vessel and the cabby's.The ether, I understand, as the binding fluid of the space and time around us. As if we were all under water that we could not see. Everything has a blur to it. All of our souls live in the ether. The waves of the immediate universe are created and influenced by us. Our feelings, thoughts and actions cause ripples in the space and time surrounding us. We all ride them like surfers even thought we do not perceive them. They record all things in both time and space. We influence and create the waves simultaneously. They propel us towards good things and away from bad or vice versa depending upon your inherent nature and the choices you make.Peoples souls glow in vivid color in the ether as well. Basic colors, nonetheless brilliant. I have learned to read people based on the color of their souls. Typically the hew of the soul or the auras if you prefer, are tied to emotions or states, but also tied to intent or past actions. I always had to be careful to distinguish between the two. Mostly, as I understood it, the glowing color represented an overall state of being for a person. I had learned over the years to be mindful and to look deeper into the soul of a person to determine the meaning of the chroma they gave off. My actions toward that person upon returning depended on my proper interpretation. Every soul can give off any color at any given time but the hew changes slightly with every decision made and action taken. Think of it like basic color palette with yellow on the left and red on the right with green, blue and purple in succession from left to right in between. The yellows would be the Mother Teressa's and Gandhi's of the world. The people who display selflessness and genuine caring for others. Counter to them were the reds. The real psychopaths like Ted Bundys and John Wayne Gacys. People who only care for their own needs. Everyone from saints and peacekeepers to narcissists and Machiavellians represented in a clear spectrum of shimmering colors. Flayed open and splayed out for anyone with access to the ether to read. I guess that makes me a soul reader. Or The soul reader since there is no one else, that I have met, that can do what I do.I have come to determine over the years that it comes down to the choices you make in your time on earth. At least that is what my experience has been thus far. Mother Teressa made the choice to care for people and Ted Bundy to kill people. Those are extreme cases. Though they are representative of the spectrum of humanity. Anyone of us can be anything at any given time.All we need to do to have a better human race and a more peaceful world is to make better choices during our short time here on Earth. If we could find a way to tap people into the ether to see the encapsulation of a life time of choices then their perceptions of how to treat one another would drastically change. Change to what - good or evil - I am not sure. I am trying to be optimistic. Even though my experiences have taught me otherwise. My observations, both in and out of the ether, have lead me to the conclusion that most people are either blue or purple. Closer to evil than good.I know, not what one would expect nor want to hear. But think about it. Humans are complicated creatures. At times we can be irrational, emotional, spitefully self centered and self loathing. Other times we can be caring, kind, loving and compassionate. We can give into our worst fears and desires. Or, we can stand strong in the face of adversity. Some of us are emotional basket cases while other are steely eye. Any of us can be anything we choose at any given time. It comes down to our true nature and the one thing we always choose to forget: choice. What color do you think a person on wall streets soul is giving off right now. Creating credit default swaps or derivatives. Fixed income financial instruments that are carved up along credit risk lines. Packaged and sold as investment products to unsophisticated clients. These people destroy good hard working people lives. They are vultures circling the sky. Trying to anticipate a shift in the circumstances so they can capitalize on your hard work. Or the husband that is cheating on his wife. Both lying to his significant other and himself. How about a cop that plants a weapon on a fleeing suspect after gunning him down?Or a tax dodger that says you need to pay your fair share, while ducking their own?Think about all those people who are nice to your face. Then they say derogatory things about you to other people when you are not around. You know the ones. The ones that tell you how much you mean to them, only when you confront them with your feelings. The ones that are screwing you out of dignity and respect. All the while saying it is for your own good. Acting like they are trying to help you. People who blame everyone and everything else rather than just taking responsibility?Or how about bosses who give you just enough pay and benefits to keep you in your job doing what you are doing so you are earning them more profit however do not pay you what you have truly earned. What color are they giving off? People who manipulate, plot and scheme to get ahead. Oh what webs we weave They use phrases like its OK because if I dont do it someones else will... or You need to get them before they get you.... The dog eat dog mentality that has gotten the human race to where it is today. We will do all sorts of things to justify our behavior. Twisting ourselves into moral pretzels just so we can look at a mirror and justify our actions. Perception is malleable. How can anyone excel when everyone is getting a trophy? When did merit, hard work and caring for your fellow people become bad things in our society? How much more can we degrade ourselves to accept the lowest common denominator? It can be sickening to contemplate the future when the recent past is littered with such high demands for low expectations. We are better than that. Are we not?The good thing is that while you still are alive it can be changed. We can lift ourselves out of the muck and shine anew. I have seen it. It is easy to do, simply by making better choices and treating people with caring and kindness. That is the secret. Mother Teressa and Gandhi figured it out. I am trying to believe we can too.I believe the reason God gave us free will is to earn our place beyond this life and the ether. If only I could share this gift with the world. I am not a fool though. I could share it with a thousand people and eight hundred fifty of them would still end up eternally burning in Hell. I hate to say it but I am not optimistic about the human race. People are people no matter where you go or what gifts they possess. But like Fox Mulder poster says: I want to believeFor some reason which is beyond my deficient understanding, I was born with access to the ether. I do not know why but as far as I know, I am the only person with this ability. When I was younger I had a hard time coming to accept that I was different. I suppose that is a story for another time.The cabby soul glowed a light green.I didnt have to dig deeper than that. They were always good people; however, they typically trusted others to easily.Yeah, thatll be $17.50. He said sliding the window between us to the side and snapping me back. Shaking off the uneasiness that comes with being put back in my bottle, I had realized I was still sitting in the back seat of the cab. We had gone from Center Street in Jamaica Plain to Summer Street in downtown Bostons financial district. It was a trip I had taken before in other taxi's and I knew it should have been at least $8 more. No wonder the breaks were going on this cab. I reached behind me and pulled the wallet out if my back left pocket. It was brown leather and slightly lighter in color than my bag. A gift from Shirley, hence the Hilfiger emblem with the customary red and white squares in the logo. I never would have spent this much on a wallet for myself. I unfolded it and pulled out a fifty dollar bill and passed it through the window. "Keep the change" I said, knowing it was a good portion of what I had left for the month. "Get your car fixed." I told him as I picked up the papers from the floor, stuffing them in my bag to be sorted later. Oh and ...what we need is awareness, we cant get careless I said grinning as I bopping my head back and forth like a typical white guy and making a fist gesture. Huh? he said turning back to look at me with one eyebrow raised. I could see he was confused so I elaborated, You know.Fight the power.The shirt! Looking down at his chest then back at me through the rear view mirror and saying Oh yeahuh, my kid got this for me. Thanks for the tip dude. Stay cool. He opened the cash box on the seat next to him and stuffed the fifty inside. Picking up his cell phone off the dash he looked back at me again through the rear-view mirror. You would think the tip would have bought me some small talk but clearly he just wanted me to get out of his cab so he could deal with the tire and get back to running fairs. Uh...OK. Well, have a good one. I said with a smile as I got out. I stepped out onto the curb and closed the car door behind me.