WHAT’S WRONG WITH COLOURING BOOKS?

THE MOST CURIOUS CHILD HAVING A SON DIAGNOSED WITH AN AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER

HOME AWAY FROM HOME CHOOSING FAMILY DAY CARE

AKER’S STORY FROM WAR-TORN SUDAN TO FLOOD-RAVAGED COFFS HARBOUR

IT’S OUR BIRTHDAY! AND WE HAVE GIVEAWAYS GALORE

AUTUMN 2010

PREGNANCY, INFANCY AND EARLY CHILDHOOD

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Essential Child offers full page and fractional ads within the magazine and on the back page. We can design an ad for you if needed, we can also help you write copy.

For more information you can download our Media Kit from our website: www.essentialchild.com.au.

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1essential child

It’s our birthday!

Welcome to the first issue of Essential Child for 2010. We are one year old and we are delighted to be kicking off another year! We have received such fantastic feedback from readers and advertisers alike, which motivates us to continue bringing you all the interesting articles, true-life stories, and practical advice you’ve told us you love to read.

To celebrate our birthday, we’ve loads of exciting gifts to give away, so keep your eye out for those.

This, our autumn issue is filled with some particularly thought-provoking content. Pauline shares some very interesting advice on encouraging your child’s confidence in drawing and developing their hand muscles for writing. We also bring you the touching stories of two mothers –Aker Deng, a Sudanese mother of 7, who has settled in Coffs Harbour after escaping the horrors of war in her home country; and Mandy Hughes, who shares with us the story of her son’s diagnosis with an autism spectrum disorder.

And to kick off our 2nd year, we have introduced a new column to Essential Child called The Soap Box. This is a column dedicated to you and we invite you to write in about any topic at all (although child- or parent-related would be best!). Anything that you feel passionately about, whether it inspires, amuses, angers, or simply interests you – we want to hear about it! Just email us on letters@essentialchild.com.au, with “Soap Box” in the title, or mail us at PO Box 1587, Coffs Harbour, 2450.

You can read our first Soap Box by Rose Levett on page 11.

Enjoy this issue and please keep writing and emailing us! We love to hear from you and have great prizes to give away for Letters to the Editor.

And as always, please support our wonderful advertisers, particularly local businesses. Without them we simply wouldn’t exist.

Happy Autumn!

Sarah

2 Letters to the Editor Competition Winners

3 Products We LoveOut of the mouths of babes

4 What’s wrong with colouring books?Helping little hands prepare for writing

6 The Most Curious ChildHaving a son diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder

7 Handy Hints Send in your handy hints!

9 Positive eating practices What’s for dinner? Thai Corn Fritters

10 Home Away from Home Choosing Family Day Care

11 Book reviews Soap Box: Why don’t they have respect?

12 Child Pedestrian Safety

13 Aker’s Story From war-torn Sudan to flood-ravaged Coffs Harbour

Essential Child Issue 5, Autumn 2010

Editor Sarah Rogers

Early Childhood Consultant Pauline Pryor

Layout & DesignSam Pryor

Contributing Writers Deborah Abela Mandy Hughes Rose Levett Eva Beeston

Advertising enquiries:Sarah Rogers, phone 0410 338 201 ads@essentialchild.com.au

Contact:phone 02 6656 2109 fax 02 6656 2131 info@essentialchild.com.au PO Box 1587, Coffs Harbour, NSW, 2450

ABN: 47 491 617 953

Essential Child is published four times a year by Essential Child. No other parties or individuals have any financial interest in this magazine. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form without the written consent of the publisher. Content within this magazine is information only and not necessarily the views of the editor. It does not purport to be a substitute for professional health and parenting advice. Readers are advised to seek a doctor for all medical and health matters. The publisher and authors do not accept any liability whatsoever in respect of an action taken by readers in reliance on the recommendations set out in this magazine. All reasonable efforts have been made to trace copyright holders.

Inside this issue:

Editor’s letter.

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Letters to the editor letters@essentialchild.com.au

Featured letter

We love to hear from our readers, so

please write in and tell us what you

think about the magazine and any

topics you would be interested to

read about.

The author of next month’s featured

letter will receive a Crayola prize

pack including:

Next issue, we’ll be giving away a Crayola prize pack including: 12 Jumbo Crayons 10 Junior Triangular Pencils 8 Junior Washable Markers

Write to us at: letters@essentialchild.com.au or

PO Box 1587, Coffs Harbour, 2450.

Write to us

Unbiased and Informative

Congratulations on an unbiased and informative magazine. As a mother of 4 and grandmother to 8 living in rural NSW, I think this magazine is an excellent source of information for parents, especially those who are isolated and who can access it via the website. Please keep up the good work.

Lily, Upper Manilla

Television Article

I really liked the balance in your article about children and television. While it gave me some food for thought I didn’t feel that it was preaching to me, especially with the parent’s perspective at the end. I try not to let my children watch too much television, but I agree with RC that banning TV altogether for the little ones is crazy talk, especially when I have four older ones. I don’t let the young ones watch the news. I think the most important thing is to watch with the children so you know what they are watching, and so you can talk to them about what they see.

Darren, Sawtell

Fussy Eater

My daughter is a really fussy eater, and she won’t sit at the table to eat. Do you have any suggestions?

Samantha, Coffs Harbour

There’s some info that might help on page 9 [SJR]

Not Taking Sides

I loved the article about sibling harmony in you summer issue. I’m sure it helped us to get through the summer holidays in relative peace. The advice about not trying to be the umpire was news to me. I’m so relieved! I thought that was my job! My kids seem to be arguing less now that they know I’m not going to take sides. Thank you.

Tracey, Coffs Harbour

It’s Not All Tea & LuncheonsDear Essential Child in reference to your article ‘Daddy’s Home!’ in the summer issue,

I am a stay at home mum of 2 children under 5 and my husband works long hours for a small company in Coffs Harbour who don’t offer any paid parental leave, which I am sure is not uncommon.

Although we are both really happy with our choices, I get peeved that I am always seen as the ‘bad guy’, after all, the first years are not all tea and luncheons!

As the primary carer I set the behaviour limits and deal with the consequences day in and day out, whereas he gets home from work and our children are so happy to see and play with him that a fun time is had by all! If only he could experience the life and times of a stay at home parent!

The paid parental leave scheme the government and opposition are talking about would give children and parents the opportunity and time to bond during the critical early years.

Our family may not have chosen any different but any incentives to support parents and give them more choices can only be a good thing right?

Keep up the good work EC, we would love to see more articles that focus on Dads!

Ruth, Woolgoolga

Great letter! Ruth receives a $50 Gift Voucher to spend at bambooty! www.bambooty.com.au

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To celebrate our birthday, we have 5 Agoo t-shirts to give away, valued at $38 each. Just send your name, address & child’s gender & size to: letters@essentialchild.com.au or PO Box 1587, Coffs Harbour, NSW, 2450 and you’ll be entered into the draw!

Products we loveWe profile some of our favourite products

Out of the mouths of babes

When our new neighbour asked my little girl if she had any brothers and sisters. She replied, “No, I’m the lonely child.” Sandra, Mullaway

Recently our little girl (4) was diligently tapping away on her father’s computer keyboard. She told him she was writing a story. “What’s it about?” he asked. “I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t read.” Siobhan, Coffs Harbour

Our three-year-old went with me to see a litter of kittens. When we came home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. “How did you know?” my wife asked. “Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied. “I think it’s printed on the bottom.” Gary, Coramba

My five-year-old announced recently, “I was born to love cars, wasn’t I Mum?” Angela, Toormina

When my friend’s second child was due, she planned to name the baby boy ‘Miles’. One day I was chatting to her daughter (5) she told me she was going to have a brother. When I asked her what his name was going to be, she thought for a second and said ‘um... Far!’ Courtney, Boambee

Send your quotes to letters@essentialchild.com.au

It seems the sun safety message is getting through to most people on the beach and at swimming pools these days. It’s rare to see a child under 5 in anything less than a rash vest or sun safety suit and a hat.

But I’m often astounded when I see the same children at the playground another day, wearing singlets, shorts and no hat!

For some reason, when we are not on the beach or when the weather begins to turn a little cooler, we forget about the sun and the damage it can cause. That’s why I think Agoo is such a brilliant range of clothing. Made of soft, stretchy fabric with a

UV protection factor of 50+, Agoo clothes allow children to stay out and play longer. Similar to sun safety wear but in everyday

colours and styles, this full range of clothing is comfortable, stain-resistant and keeps children cool as they play. I find it reassuring

when my daughter goes to child care wearing Agoo because I know she’s protected from the sun, even though I am not there.

Agoo are stocked on line at www.agoo.com.au where you will find summer stock at up to 50% off. And locally, you can check out the range at Charlipop Kids World, 26-28 Orlando Street, Coffs Harbour.

We have, as give-aways, 2 sets of Lyra Ferby pencils, one set of 12, and one of 6. Courstesy of Love & Kisses, 5 Harbour Drive, Coffs Harbour.

Send in your child’s “out of the mouths of babes” stories for your chance to win!

Competition

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So whether you are looking for unique play clothes, for as low as $5, or a special outfit for your child, like the stunning range of girls’ party petticoats, you will find it at Charlipop Kids. Unit 1-2, 26-28 Orlando Street, Coffs Harbour (02) 6651 9621 or online: www.charlipopkidsworld.com.au.

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There’s nothing wrong with colouring books, but, as educator Ursula Kolbe writes in her book “It’s not a bird yet”, they are like junk food – OK in moderation. If children come to rely on these prepared patterns, they may not have the confidence to have a go at drawing for themselves. It’s much the same if we draw for them. They may develop the idea that they can’t do it, that they always need an adult to do it for them.

Tracing and join-the-dot activities are the same - not necessarily the best way to help preschooler’s hands develop the skills they will need to learn to write.

Children’s hand muscles develop at different rates. Children whose muscles are slower to develop will be frustrated by trying to colour within the lines, or trace along a line, or copy what you have drawn, and chances are they will give up.

This is often the case among boys, particularly if they have older sisters. Because girls’ skills in this area typically develop earlier than boys, a little brother is very likely to believe that there is no point in trying with pencils, as he could never do it as well as his sister, or as well as Mum or Dad.

So, what can we do?

Provide lots of blank paper

Discount shops are great sources of

inexpensive paper in reams, pads and art books. Stronger paper is easier for little ones to manage, as it doesn’t tear so easily if they press hard on their pencils. (It’s also easier to cut when they are ready for some safe scissors.)

Give some thought to the writing implements your child uses

See our give-aways on pages 2 & 3 for your chance to receive some lovely products free

Standard colouring pencils and crayons can be hard work for little fingers, especially in the years before school. When immature muscles have to always use pencils designed for adults they may adapt by developing a weird and wonderful grip that will be very difficult for them to unlearn when they go to school. Instead, try thicker pencils, crayons, chalks and markers that are designed for little hands. Chunky water-based markers are especially good – they

are brightly coloured and flow easily across a page so even beginners can easily achieve a satisfactory result. And because they are water-based, they wash off skin, clothes and even walls easily.

Avoid asking “What is it?”

This just puts children on the spot, and they may invent a label just to keep you happy. They may even become reluctant to draw because they come to believe a drawing has to be ‘something’ rather than just being a drawing. Instead, when presented with a drawing, ask something like, “Can you tell me what is happening here?” Children often don’t aim to depict how things look but rather how things move or sound. Maybe a drawing is not anything in particular – a child may have been, for instance, experimenting with light and dark, thin and thick lines, or the way that wheels go around and around.

What’s wrong with colouring books?Helping little hands prepare for writing

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Toddlers especially like to simply practice making shapes over and over, and may fill sheets with shapes that seem very similar. Yet when you compare markings of even a few days apart you may notice differences. Often the actual drawing is only part of the activity - accompanying gestures, sounds and words may be just as important. So keep an open mind, and take time to watch, listen, and give encouraging smiles and nods.

As they become more proficient in their drawing (around school age) children may strive for a more realistic result. This will happen naturally.

Avoid praise

Empty phrases such as “That’s beautiful” are easily recognisable to children as being insincere and meaningless. Also some children may become ‘stuck’ on producing the same drawing over and over, as if they want to repeat a successful model (one that an adult liked) and are not willing to try something else for fear of failure. For example, I have observed many children become stuck on drawing rainbows or stylised houses (you know the ones – two windows, door, chimney, flowers!). Try making observations about aspects of the drawing instead. Say, for instance, “You’ve used lots of red”, or “I can see this line going round and round”. Or ask the child what he or she thinks of the picture. Are they happy with it? Which of their pictures do they like the best? Why? Comment that they look pleased with themselves. It’s worthwhile for children to evaluate their own work. We know ourselves that our work isn’t always our best, but it’s OK to keep trying. Imagine if a colleague always told you that your work was fantastic, even if it is a first draft that you want feedback on, or if you know it isn’t up to scratch!

If a child asks you to draw for them, RESIST!

Encourage them to have a go instead. If they say “I can’t”, suggest they start with a shape. Talk about what shape they might need. Even if they begin with just a line, it is a start. Then you can ask, “What else does it need?” (maybe eyes, legs, etc). Encourage them to look at the object (or a toy, an animal, a picture or even the tower they built with blocks) and see the shapes. Direct their attention to the shapes by saying something like, “See how the ears go up, and down,” as you move your finger along the shape. Children will usually end up with a picture that they are satisfied with.

This type of drawing practice helps them to become more confident to have a go, and the more drawing they do, the more the muscles of their hands will develop ready for writing.

There are lots of other everyday activities that also help finger muscles to develop.

Some of them are:

• Using pegs

• Construction set (such as Lego, Mobilo)

• Clay or playdough – or even better, real dough to make bread or dumplings

• Mixing cakes

• Cutting vegetables (with a knife suitable for the age)

• Threading beads

• Using tongs, tweezers, eye droppers

• Jigsaw puzzles

• Finger rhymes (such as ‘Eency Weency Spider”, “Where is Thumbkin”)

• Finger puppets

• Doing up buttons, dressing dolls, putting on shoes and socks

• Cutting with scissors

• Pasting

So don’t worry if your child is a reluctant drawer. As long as he is developing those muscles in some way, it will all come together in time! Just make sure you have some paper and chunky pens and pencils on hand ready for when the time comes. And above all, value your child’s drawings as important pieces of communication. Show interest, display them for a while, and show them to others if the child is happy for you to do so.

References:

Lisa Sloane & Jennifer Kemp: Write Away - Children’s Early Drawing and Writing, and Getting the Grip - Promoting Pencil Grasp in Children, Sloan & Kemp Consultants, 2004

Ursula Kolbe: It’s not a bird yet – the drama of drawing, Peppinot Press 2005

[PJP]

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Perhaps I’ve always known there was something different about my son. Maybe I’ve been in denial, not wanting him to be labelled or have his potential limited. My son has always been active and from a young age was constantly kicking his legs, as if ready to go for a run before he could walk. At four months the early childhood nurse said she’d seen nothing like

it. At 12 months the childcare workers at the centre he attended called him ‘the most curious child’ they had ever met. At 18 months I once left him at home with his Dad so I could go to Mother’s group and have a conversation with my friends without having to constantly stop him from climbing over the other children or exploring every room, cupboard, drawer and kitchen appliance in all the other mum’s homes. And now we have a diagnosis…

My son has been diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified (PDD – NOS). One difficulty with having this diagnosis is that not many people (with the exception of specialist health professionals) seem to have heard of the condition so I constantly need to provide an explanation. The second issue is that it is considered a ‘threshold’ diagnosis and this means that you often doubt whether or not you should even have a diagnosis at all. There are moments when my son seems completely normal (whatever that is?) and then there are other times when we all fall into a heap at the end of the day completely exhausted by the need to constantly supervise, intervene and re-direct his ‘over-enthusiastic’ behaviour.

PDD – NOS falls in the autism spectrum, although it has been referred to as ‘atypical autism’ or a ‘touch of autism’. A child with PDD – NOS will have some characteristics from the autism spectrum

but not enough for a diagnosis of autism (autistic disorder) or Asperger’s disorder. Our son is doing well intellectually but has challenges with social interaction and appropriate communication. He tends to ‘over-interact’ with other children, excitedly hugging and squeezing them whilst simultaneously providing them with a monologue on his favourite fierce, meat–eating dinosaur. He is sensory seeking, so he has to touch, empty, crash and squash everything in sight, especially his little sister.

Our son’s diagnosis was made at age four, the year he started attending pre-school. This timing was significant as we became even more aware of how he interacted with his peers. The jigsaw pieces started to fall into place after visits to a speech therapist revealed some concerns with social language. This, combined with discussions with pre-school and our own concerns, led us to our paediatrician who made an initial diagnosis before referring us to Tumbatin Clinic in Sydney for an in-depth assessment. We had expected a considerable wait before our appointment and had been told it could take at least six months. We were extremely fortunate to be offered a cancellation and we were off to Sydney within three months.

Arriving at Tumbatin was a confronting and emotional experience. In all our ‘busy-ness’ to get down there we had not really stopped to consider the full implications of a diagnosis and when we finally sat in the assessment room I couldn’t help but shed some tears in anticipation of the day’s outcome.

The assessment process turned out to be extremely positive and interesting, and both my husband and I were pleased at the end of the session when we received feedback from the multi-disciplinary team who had been working with our son during the day. The diagnosis sat well with us. Yes, it would have been a relief to come away without a diagnosis but at the same time we knew there were problems that needed to be addressed to ensure our son’s future social integration. A diagnosis now means we can get the support we need and this will be truly valuable.

A very informative visit to the Autism Advisor (funded by the federal government’s Helping Children with Autism package) set us on our path to

seeking appropriate treatment for our son. There are many different options and wading through the information without guidance would have been quite a challenge. We are very fortunate in the timing of our diagnosis that such services are now available. We are also aware of the many excellent support groups available to children and parents with autism spectrum disorders so these will be invaluable in the future as we all make our way through this life long journey.

Although having a diagnosis is necessary in order to gain access to services it also means an inevitable period of grieving sets in. A diagnosis means you can now ‘explain’ your child’s behaviour but it also means any hope that your child might be ‘normal’ also diminishes. You begin to question why and how but of course the cause is speculative and uncertain. I have found myself wondering if my child’s diagnosis is the outcome of severe feeding difficulty in the early weeks. Did the pressure I put on myself to breastfeed ultimately lead to lifelong challenges for my son? But that’s probably another story…

On a positive note, since our diagnosis we have been privileged to hear stories from other parents of children with autism spectrum disorders and they are inspiring to say the least. Many had been told their children had ‘no future’, no potential for socialising, academic pursuits or independent living. Many have proven these predictions very wrong and now have beautiful, caring and sensitive young adults sharing their lives. Our son constantly amazes us with his enthusiasm, creativity and humour. And we are ready, with the dedicated support from the many health and education professionals we are working with, to go forward with our son and share the challenges that will inevitably come our way. [MH]

The Most Curious ChildHaving a son diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder By Mandy Hughes

Perhaps I’ve always known there was something different about my son.

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A very wise woman gave me this hint when I had my second baby: “When you are too tired to do anything else, just sweep the kitchen floor. The whole house will stay cleaner, because dirt and scraps from the kitchen aren’t walked through, and the toddler will stay cleaner because she won’t be crawling around on a dirty floor”. And do you know, it works!

Fill a library bag/pillowcase with a few special items such as magnadoodle pen attached to a clipboard for an older child and a lift the flap book, soft scarf for a younger child to keep them entertained whilst waiting at the doctors etc. Keep it in the car and change the items after a few trips.

Make your own flavoured yoghurt. Buy seasonal fruit or frozen fruit, blend it and freeze in ice cube trays covered in cling wrap. Use a large tub of natural pot set yoghurt and mix with a few cubes of defrosted frozen fruit. Combinations are endless, cheaper than buying small yoghurt pots and it is healthy.

For an inexpensive personalised birthday invitation or birth notice, choose a special photo of your little one, print as many copies as you need and either write or print and paste the details on the back of the photo. It is a great keepsake for family and friends.

ABC have some children’s shows online to view for free once they have been shown on tv at www.abc.net.au/iview Check with your internet service provider if you have unmetred downloads such as iinet. Could be great for a rainy day.

Keep all used ribbons, wrapping paper and cards, old cereal boxes. Children can cut them up and use them for collage and 3d construction.

Next issue our favourite hint will win a GAIA Natural Organic Skincare Starter Kit

Handy HintsSend in your handy hints for a chance to win!

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7essential child

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What’s for dinner? Thai Corn Fritters

We’d love to hear your favourite healthy recipies!Send them to us at letters@essentialchild.com.au

This is a simple corn fritter that quickly became a favourite in our house, although the one year old prefers them without the spicy sauce. These are light, easy, and fun to eat. Try freezing them as an easy snack to have on hand for toddlers.

Makes 20

1/2 cup self raising flour 1 cup polenta 1/2 tsp salt 1/2 tsp baking powder 1 egg 1 cup milk 2 corn cobs, kernels removed with knife 1/2 cup chopped coriander leaves 4 spring onions, thinly sliced 1 small red chilli, de-seeded & diced oil sweet chilli sauce to serve

Combine flour, polenta, salt, and baking powder. Add egg and milk and mix until batter is smooth. Add the corn kernels, coriander, spring onions and chilli.

Heat 1-2 tbsp oil in a heavy-based frypan using a medium heat. Add spoonfuls of batter using a dessert spoon as a measure to make little ‘pancakes’. Cook on one side until golden brown, with bubbles forming on top. Flip fritters and cook other side.

Repeat until all mixture is used. Serve with sweet chilli dipping sauce.

Reference: Campion, A. and Curtis, M. ‘In The Kitchen’, Hardie Grant Books, 2008

Positive eating practicesFussy eating toddlers grow at a slower rate than babies and have irregular appetites. As a result, they can be fussy about food preferences. Some older, preschool‐aged children may also be ‘picky’ eaters. It is important that adults do not make a fuss over eating, as this places extra focus on food and can make the situation worse. If your child is a fussy eater:

• Make sure they have not filled up on drinks or ‘sometimes foods’ before a meal or snack.

• Maintain a regular mealtime routine.

• Make mealtimes enjoyable and not stressful.

• Don’t bribe or punish a child who refuses to eat.

• Ensure that you and other adults are modelling appropriate eating behaviours.

• Continue to offer foods that have been refused previously. Sometimes children need to be exposed to a new food a few times before it becomes familiar.

• Offer new foods along with familiar foods.

• Set a time limit of 20 to 30 minutes for a meal. After this time, remove any uneaten food and let the child leave the table. Do not offer alternative food or drinks until the next planned meal or snack.

Family mealtimes

Make time to sit together and eat meals as a family. Mealtimes should be positive – where children and adults can interact and enjoy eating together. Encourage conversation between adults and children, and limit any distractions at mealtimes by turning off the television. Encourage children to help with setting and clearing the table.

Adults provide, children decide

Serve the family meal in a way that allows children to decide how much they will eat. Whether you serve food in the kitchen or at the table, it is important to offer a variety of healthy foods. Children can then decide what and how much they will eat.

Very young children may need some help with their meals. If you are feeding your child, let them guide you and do not force them to continue eating once they are full.

Offer meals and snacks at regular and predictable intervals

Children need to eat small amounts on a regular basis, to keep up their energy throughout the day. Choose set times for each meal and snack, and try to keep these similar from day to day. It is helpful for children to know when they can expect their next meal or snack.

Be flexible with snack times if you need to. Allow children to pack up the activity they are doing before washing their hands and coming to the table. This way, they are less likely to be distracted and more likely to be interested in the food you have prepared.

Avoid constant grazing throughout the day. This interferes with children learning to recognise when they are hungry, and eating in response to hunger.

The role of adults

Adults are role models. Children learn a lot from watching and listening to what goes on around them. By sitting with children at mealtimes and encouraging healthy behaviours, parents can support children’s healthy eating habits.

Some things to keep in mind:

• Sit with your child during meal and snack times.

• Eat the same foods as your child.

• Encourage your child to taste all types of food offered.

• Allow your child to choose what and how much they eat from what is available.

• Allow your child to serve themselves.

• Never give or deny food as a reward or punishment.

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& Programs

Ph 0400 376 360 or 6654 3279PO Box 58 Nana Glen NSW 2450 smartyn.physio@bigpond.comMedicare EPC rebates Provider No. 2011241 A

Deciding to send our daughter to family day care was an easy decision in some ways, but still had its challenges. I was in no hurry as I work from home, but as my toddler’s nap times reduced from four hours a day to barely two, the amount I could get done in a day also dropped dramatically. I knew the time would come where we needed child care of some sort.

We’d looked at some child care centres in our (metropolitan) area but were underwhelmed by what we found. Sadly, the gorgeous little community-based centres you might find in country areas don’t seem to exist in the city. Most centres we saw were disappointingly grubby and soulless, despite their best efforts to appear cheerful with identical glittery green frogs lining the walls and rainbow paintings as far as the eye could see.

I just couldn’t imagine my little girl in a big place like that. Even in the centres where the staff ratio is 1 to 4 children, there are still a lot of children on any given day. I just couldn’t help picturing the look on my baby’s face as she looked up for some adult help or attention, only to find nobody was watching. It broke my heart.

So we looked into family day care and liked what we found. Our local council manages family day care services with around fifty carers registered with them.

All carers must meet accreditation standards and are subject to council and DOCS spot checks. And importantly for us, we are still entitled to claim our child care rebate.

It took around twelve months on the waiting list before they called offering us a place for three days a week. Unfortunately they called just as we’d planned an overseas trip, but they told us we would remain at the top of the list until we were ready. When we got back, they gave us a list of carer’s names for us to visit and choose from.

After visiting a couple of carers’ homes – in one of which we witnessed a badly timed cockroach incident - we arrived at Gill’s house. As we walked into her spotlessly clean house, with inviting little play areas set up here and there, and four beaming children playing happily together, we immediately liked what we saw. We could see our daughter was relaxed and interested in the things

going on there. We asked a few key questions, but it really came down to our instincts. Gill was open, honest and didn’t try too hard to impress us. And when a child grazed his knee while we were there, she excused herself and cuddled him until he stopped crying, and then continued to hold his hand for as long as he needed her to. I would have done exactly the same thing with my own child, so I knew Gill was the right person for us.

Like most parents, I agonised over whether the timing was right – was she ready? Was I ready? Would she pine for me or thrive on the social interaction? How on earth would she take her nap without me or her dad there?

But we eased our way into it. I spent a couple of mornings there with my daughter and she started on half days the following week. I played it by ear to see how we both coped, but she seemed so happy to go each morning. By the time she was going three full days, she would wave ‘bye-bye Mum’ as soon as we got there and take off to the cubby house. No fanfare, no tears. She even took naps with no complaints! She loved it and still does today.

In fact, when I tell her in the mornings that we are going to Gill’s house, she squeals, spins in a circle and claps her hands. It’s all I can do not to feel a little bit hurt! [EB]

Home Away from Home Choosing Family Day Care

Home Based childcare!• A safe, secure and stimulating

home environment with small groups of up to five children.

• Flexible hours matched to individual family needs.

• Your child benefits by having the same carer, every day.

• Mixed ages create a unique learning environment

Ph: 6652 7819 ‘The Cottage’ 2 Peterson Rd, Coffs HarbourEmail: admin@coffsfdc.org.auwww.coffsfdc.org.auAccredited by NCAC, licensed by Departments of Community Services, with qualified staff supporting carers and children.

When I tell her in the mornings that we are going to Gill’s house, she squeals, spins in a circle and claps her hands.

11essential child

Jasper & Abby and the Great Australia Day Kerfuffleby Kevin Rudd and Rhys Muldoon

Illustrated by Carla Zapel

(Allen & Unwin)

Ages 4 to 8

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd and former Playschool presenter, Rhys Muldoon have come together to write this delightful children’s book, proceeds from which will go to The Royal Children’s Hospital in Melbourne.

The story is based on the antics of the Rudd family cat and dog, Jasper and Abby who apparently, in real life, cause more than their share of havoc at the prime ministerial residence.

The setting is The Lodge on Australia Day. There was going to be a big party, with people from all over the country invited. Jasper and Abby were there, but ... so was a scruffy little dog named Chewy. The story follows Jasper and Abby as they try to avert one disaster after another.

The story itself is a lot of fun, but with the detailed illustrations by Carla Zapel children (and adults) will delight in looking for clues to discover the mischief that Chewy gets up to. The final straw comes when the huge Australian flag, knitted by the nannas from Nambour, was about to be unravelled by Chewy. Jasper and Abby to the rescue!

A worthwhile read that is sure to encourage a lot of laughter.

[PJP]

Going Homeby Margaret Wild

llustrated by Wayne Harris

(Walker Books)

Ages 5 to 8

Stuck in hospital, Hugo glumly stares out his window longing to go home. The racket of the animals in the zoo below rises up and stirs his imagination to life.

He hears the elephant asking him to ‘come home with me’ and he puts on his slippers and together they amble through the grasslands of Africa. The next day the howler monkey invites him to explore the Amazon Jungle with its toucans, sloths and emerald tree boas and finally, at the invitation of the snow leopard, Hugo roams the icy wilds of the Himalayas. As he is about to leave for India, Hugo’s family arrive to take him home, but before he does, he shares his secret with the other kids in the ward, who put on their slippers and run with the tiger through the forests of India.

Margaret Wild’s simple and powerful writing works beautifully with Wayne Harrison’s illustrations, which jump from the page and invite you to escape. They’ve created a world where the simple wonders of imagination lift these children and animals out of their enclosures, taking the reader along for the ride.

[DA]

Book reviewsSoap BoxWhy don’t they have respect?

I was moved to tears recently when I overheard a woman with a toddler walking past my office. It seemed that they’d walked the two or three blocks from the nearest shops, and the toddler was crying to be carried. The mother repeatedly yelled obscenities at the child along the lines of “I’m not ****ing picking you up.’

A friend recently told me about an incident he’d been upset to see in a supermarket. When a mum shouted at her little boy to stop touching things, he cringed and asked “Are you going to hit me?”

On the other hand, I’ve seen, also in the supermarket, a mother playfully chatting with her daughter, asking the child to pass some items, and thanking her for her help. And, at another time, a mum and dad smiling at their toddler as he sat in the trolley happily munching on an apple.

I recalled these incidents when friends were discussing local problems of vandalism and other antisocial behaviour, and someone asked, “Why don’t they have respect for other people?”

It seems to me that if children are brought up in an atmosphere where their basic right to be cared for is not respected, then they have little hope of developing respect for themselves, let alone other people or their property. We need to think about what the future holds for children who have joyless expectations of life through constantly being let down by those closest to them, the very people they should be able to trust.

I wish more people would think carefully about the words, body language and facial expressions they use with children. They convey such powerful messages. When we are available and attentive to our children, I believe they learn to trust we are there for them, no matter what. It helps them develop a sense of themselves as being valued and worthwhile people and I’m certain they are then much more likely to be respectful of others.

Rose Levett

Feel passionately about something? Write to Soap Box in less than 500 words.

11essential child

12 essential child

Larry Pryor Lic. No. 407 488 183

0418 666 253Monday-Friday 8am-4pm(After hours by arrangement)www.prioritylocks.com.au

Mention Essential Child when you ring for 15% off all locks, parts and labour!

“Your fast and friendly mobile locksmith”

Professional, affordable writing services for:

• website & SEO copy• brochures & catalogues• press releases• marketing materials• advertisements

Call Sarah on 0410 338 201

MAKE YOUR BUSINESS COMMUNICATIONS STAND OUT!

Pedestrian injury is a substantial cause of child injury in Australia. In the year 2005, 7 young pedestrians aged 5 -16 years were killed and 349 were injured on NSW roads.

The following information is a guide to help you keep your children safer

WHY do kids need a hand in traffic?

Kids grow up quickly, and constantly surprise us with what they can do, however they are not ready to be left alone around traffic until they are at least 10 years old. This is because:

• Kids often say they can look after themselves, but do not understand the dangers and risks involved.

• Kids can be unpredictable and difficult for drivers to see.

• Kids may have difficulty knowing where traffic sounds are coming from, even when they do remember to listen.

• Kids cannot judge the speed or distance of oncoming cars.

• Kids think about things that are important to them and forget all about looking for cars.

WHERE do kids need a hand in traffic?

Kids need a hand wherever it is possible a car may be moving. This includes:

• Quiet streets

• Traffic lights

• Busy streets

• Footpaths

• Car parks

• Pedestrian crossings

• Roundabouts

• Local streets

• Shopping centres

• Residential areas

• Driveways

• Around schools

HOW can parents and adult carers give kids a hand in traffic?

We know that your children’s safety is very important to you. Here are a few tips to keep them safer.

Hold hands

Kids need to be actively supervised in and around traffic. Hold hands with your children when crossing the road, until they are at least 10 years old.

If your hands are full, make sure your children hold onto a trolley or pram, your bag or even your arm or sleeve.

Set a good example

Kids are always watching - they want to be just like adults - make sure you always set a good example around traffic.

Talk with your kids about traffic and roads

As you are walking, talk with your children about why you are stopping, and what you are looking and listening for. Explain to them where it is safer to cross and why.

So remember to help your children be safer pedestrians.

Child Pedestrian Safety

Early Learning Adventures

Kindergarten Readiness Program

1 Hour per Week

Phone 6652 222262 Bray St, Coffs Harbour

This program assists children in the last year before school in areas of phonemic awareness, reading skills, language development, writing ability and listening skills.

From

13essential child

When Aker Deng arrived in Coffs Harbour last year, having escaped the violent horrors of the civil war in Sudan with five of her six children, she was pregnant and alone.

All that she had managed to bring with her from Africa, other than a few items of clothing, was some precious linen that had belonged to her mother.

She talked to us about some of her experiences.

I came from Southern Sudan. I left because of the war. People think the war is over but it is not. I went to Uganda first, and then I came to Australia. My husband was killed in the war.

I came to Australia last year. I came to Coffs Harbour in March and after two weeks the floods came. The water came up quickly, and my house was flooded. The Anglicare people helped me and my children to get out of the house and they even went back into the (waist deep!) water to save my mother’s linen for me. They took me and my children to a hotel. We stayed in the hotel for three weeks, then they found another place for me.

I have seven children now. My first baby, a daughter, is twenty-two. She is married to an Australian man from Tasmania. She was already in Australia when I came. They have moved to Coffs Harbour now, so I have all of my seven children with me. As well as my first girl I have four other girls aged 17, 9, 3 and 4 months, and two boys aged 12 and 6. My baby Athiei is an Australian girl. She has citizenship before me!

I had my first baby in hospital in Sudan, but then there were no hospitals for the others because of the war. We had no medicine, no anything. When you were going to give birth you could get the old mother, like a grandmother. She would help. There was nothing else to cut the cord, so we had to cut it with a razor blade that we washed in water.

When I had my baby in the Coffs Harbour hospital they gave me medicines for the pain, so when I had the baby I wasn’t sure that I had given birth to her! I felt much better after this one. Even the next day I was not so sore.

It was very hard bringing up children in Sudan. We had nothing. We lived on a farm and we had a cow and a goat, so we had milk for the children but sometimes no food. I breastfed all of my babies for two years or more. That was hard when there was no food. Sometimes food came from countries like America. The children couldn’t go to school because of the war.

When I went to Uganda [as a refugee before coming to Australia] there were people who helped to buy things for my babies, like clothes. I had no money. My older children could go to St Augustine’s school in Uganda. I didn’t have to pay anything, I bought their uniforms only.

Now in Australia I am happy so much. In Australia there are people like Anglicare to help. They looked for a school for my children. I wanted my children to go to a Christian school but they were full. So they go to a public school. They have friends. My six-year-old has just started school. He is very happy. My other son likes to play soccer, and he says one day he’ll be on the TV.

In Australia you care about people, you help find a house. When I had the baby I could buy good things for her, like a pram, a bed. I was happy about that.

My children can now learn English , they can learn to read, play sport, be happy. I

went to English classes at the community college last year. But now I had my baby. After one year I can put my baby into childcare and I can to go back to classes. In Africa the grandma would look after the children.

The only thing I don’t like is in Australia you are alone from your family. In Sudan we live with family, with brothers, mothers, grandma and everyone. And here the old people go into aged care. In Africa we don’t do that – the grandma she stays with the children. We have children, and they look after the parents when they get old. Only if we don’t have children do we need care.

Everything else is good. Atong (3) likes to be a fashion girl. She likes dolls. At the shop she wanted a pram for her doll. I told her it was too much, too expensive. I need the money for food. She said, “I don’t need food – I’m all right!”

For the future for my children I want them to be good children, to be Australian children, to be happy and safe.

Close on a year after their initial “wet” start to their life in Australia, Aker and her children are making the huge adjustments it takes to living in another country (including learning another language).  Thank you Aker for sharing your story.    

Anglicare North Coast Migrant Services provide a wide range of support to newly arrived humanitarian entrants like Aker. Most of the staff are also trained in disaster recovery work. [PJP]

Aker’s StoryFrom war-torn Sudan to flood-ravaged Coffs Harbour

Aker with Athiei (4 months) and Atong (3)

We had a cow and a goat, so we had milk for the children but sometimes no food.

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CPK Essential Child Ad - FEB 10 -FINAL.pdf 1 12/02/2010 1:25:37 AM