Essay Scoring 1.Purpose 2.Audience 3.Content 4.Organization/Clarity

Essay ScoringEssay Scoring

1.Purpose2.Audience3.Content

4.Organization/Clarity

PurposePurpose•The writer must determine the

purpose for writing: to express personal feelings

to explain or informto persuadeto be creativeto be humorous

AudienceAudience• What does the reader already

know about the topic?• What do I need to explain?• What will the reader find to be

most interesting?• What kinds of words and

sentences should I use (voice)?

ContentContent

• Descriptive • Narrative• Expository• Persuasive

Narrative

•To tell a story using chronological order

Persuasive

•To convince your reader of something

using judgments or opinions

descriptive

•To tell what something is like through sensory details; to describe

expository

•To explain reasons or steps in a process; to tell why

Content:Content:DescriptiveDescriptive• Requires specific

information and sensory details along with “other relevant

details”

Content: Content: NarrativeNarrative

•Requires a clear sequence of events within a specified

time frame

Content:Content:ExpositoryExpository• Requires reasons,

explanations, or steps in a process; logical sequencing;

main ideas, supporting details, and may provide a

conclusion

Content:Content:PersuasivePersuasive

•Requires a clearly stated opinion, reasons, and specified examples to influence an action or a thought, and may provide a conclusion

Organization/ClarityOrganization/Clarity• Shows evidence of an

organizational plan• Displays a sense of author control• Uses one clear controlling idea with

only minimal wandering from it• Ideas flow smoothly from one to

the next with clarity

Organization/Organization/ClarityClarity

continuedcontinued• Makes occasional errors in grammar

and usage and mechanics that do not interrupt the flow of communication

• Uses a variety of sentence formations• Uses meaningful, precise vocabulary

Modes of WritingModes of Writing

1.Narrative2.Expository3.Persuasive4. Descriptive

NarrativeNarrative• Relates a sequence of events which

occurs over some period of time• What happens and the order in which the

events occur are communicated to the reader

• Requires the writer to give a clear sequence of events (fictional or non-fictional) and to provide elaboration on it

•Use transition words for a narrative

•Include conclusion to sum up story

ExpositoryExpository• Presents at least three reasons,

explanations, or steps in a process• Logical order should be used with

appropriate sequencing of ideas or steps in a process

• Should contain a main idea, supporting details, and a conclusion•Include conclusion to

summarize reasons, explanations, or steps

PersuasivePersuasive• Presents reasons and examples to

influence action and thought• Requires a writer to state clearly an

opinion and supply at least three reasons and specific examples that support that opinion

• Include a conclusion that implies a call to action

Activity: Recognizing Activity: Recognizing Modes of WritingModes of Writing

1. Your class is making a box to be seen in 2096. Write an essay explaining the one thing you put in that box and why.

2. Suggest changes that you think would make your country better.

3. Pretend that you lived in colonial times. Write a story about yourself living in George Washington’s day.

Activity: Recognizing Activity: Recognizing Modes of WritingModes of Writing

AnswersAnswers1.Expository2.Persuasive3.Narrative

4.Descriptive

Strong Strong VerbsVerbs

Strong verbs = better writing =

higher scores

Verbs to Bury:Verbs to Bury:Dead VerbsDead Verbs

am have areis be washad were has*any verb ending in “ing”*avoid feels, looks, sounds, smells,becomes, appear, seems, and acts

Strong Verb Strong Verb Rewriting:Rewriting:ExampleExample

Weak: She was angry.Better: The angry girl flung her

arms about in frustration.

Weak: My room is a mess.Better: My clothes litter the floor

of my messy room.

Practice SentencesPractice Sentences1.My mom is mad at me.2.The little girl was sad.3.The classroom was noisy.4.I am mad today.5.The birthday party was

awesome.

Practice SentencesPractice Sentencescontd.contd.

6.These sentences are stupid.

7. My friend is mean to his sister.

8. The calico cat was nice.

ClusterinClusteringg

Clustering for Clustering for Expository EssayExpository Essay

•Need at least three reasons to explain the main idea

•Rank from least to greatest of importance

•Use at least three sub-details for each reason

ClusteriClusteringng

Reasons TeensReasons Teens

Need CarsNeed Cars

AssistancAssistance to e to

FamilyFamily

Drive Self Drive Self PlacesPlaces

Take Siblings Places

Run Run ErrandsErrands

Helpful Helpful to Selfto Self

Get a Job

Provides Provides Leisure ActivityLeisure Activity

Take Take Friends Friends PlacesPlaces

Gain Gain FreedoFreedo

mm

Look CoolLook Cool

Attract Attract FriendFriend

ss

Self Self ImageImage

Expository:Expository:Essay TemplateEssay TemplateGeneral General

InformationInformation ThesisThesis

Reason 1Reason 1

Reason 2Reason 2

Reason 3Reason 3

Restate ThesisRestate Thesis

General InformationGeneral Information

IntroductionIntroduction

BodyBody

ConclusionConclusion

Expository:Expository:Essay TemplateEssay Template

Thesis SentenceThesis Sentence

Topic Sentence 1Topic Sentence 1



Restatement of Restatement of ThesisThesis

IntroductionIntroduction

BodyBody

ConclusionConclusion

Formula for Writing a Formula for Writing a Thesis StatementThesis Statement

A specific topic+ about three particular features,

feelings, or stands------------------------------------

= an effective thesis statement.

Completing Essay Completing Essay TemplateTemplate

•Example ThesisExample Thesis: Teens need vehicles to promote self-image, helpfulness to self, and assistance to family.

Example Topic Example Topic SentencesSentences

1. Teens need transportation to improve self-image.

2. Furthermore, young drivers need cars to help transport themselves.

3. In addition, young adults could be of assistance to family members if they had proper transportation.

Completing Essay Completing Essay TemplateTemplate

•Example Restatement of Example Restatement of ThesisThesis: In conclusion, young adults need vehicles to promote self-image,

helpfulness to self, and assistance to family.

Five Paragraph Essay1. Introduction ending in thesis2. Idea #1 topic sentence; transitions

and supporting details/ex.3. Idea #2 topic sentence; transitions

and supporting details/examples 4. Idea #3 topic sentence; transitions

and supporting details/examples5. Conclusion beginning with

restatement of thesis; other general sentences leading reader out of paper

Writing the Hook or Attention Writing the Hook or Attention GrabberGrabber

• Share some thought-provoking details about the subject.

• Ask your reader a challenging question.• Begin with an informative quotation.• Provide a dramatic, eye-opening statement.• Open with some thoughtful dialogue or an

engaging story.• Identify the main points you plan to cover.

Parts to the Introduction

•Hook or Attention Grabber (about one sentence)

•General sentences that lead to thesis (about three sentences)

•Thesis sentence from Template (one sentence)

Parts to a Body Paragraph• Topic Sentence (from essay

template)• Supporting Detail Sentences (at

least three which should come from outer circles on cluster

• Clincher Sentence (which sums up topic sentence

• Use transitions within this paragraph (examples: also, furthermore, in addition, likewise, etc.)

Paragraph Paragraph StructureStructure

Top of hamburger bun = Top of hamburger bun = topic sentencetopic sentence

Lettuce = Lettuce = supporting supporting detaildetail

Onion =Onion = supporting detail supporting detail

Cheese =Cheese = supporting supporting detaildetail

Meat =Meat = supporting detail supporting detail

Bottom of bun =Bottom of bun = clincher clincher or restatement of topicor restatement of topic

Developing the Middle

•The middle paragraphs in your draft should support your thesis. Make sure you use your planning notes (cluster and essay template) as a general guide for your writing.

•Remember your purpose is to explain. Provide important

facts, details, and examples.

Some Transition Words•first, second, third, finally, in

addition, also, last, equally important, in the first place, likewise, besides, as a result, therefore, on the other hand, nevertheless, in conclusion

Expository End•Restate the thesis statement in the conclusion.

•You should have at least five sentences in the last paragraph.

It is as important as the introduction.

• Remember to add a clincher to the last sentence.

Prepare essay to turn in by stapling these

parts

• Grade sheet• Cluster• Essay template• Draft with five paragraphs

Descriptive Clustering

Clustering for Clustering for Descriptive EssayDescriptive Essay

•Need at least three senses or focal points to describe

•List senses or focal point as they would naturally occur

•Use at least three sub-details for each sense or

focal point

Descriptive Descriptive ClusteringClustering

an old

barn

smells in barn

sights in

barn

sounds in barn

stacks of hay horse

equipment

rusty old tools

horses neighin

gkittens meowi

ng

putrid manure

musty old hay

aroma of sweet feed

Windstorm blowing

Descriptive Essay Descriptive Essay TemplateTemplate

General Information

___________________

Sense 2

Sense 1

Sense 3

Restate Thesis

General Information

General Information

___________________

Sense 2

Sense 1

Sense 3

Restate Thesis

General Information

___________________

___________________

___________________

ThesisThesis

Key Sentences for Key Sentences for Descriptive EssayDescriptive Essay

• Thesis: Many sights, smells, and sounds overwhelm my senses as I enter the old country barn.

• Topic 1: Familiar sights of my childhood come to mind as I encounter the friendly atmosphere of the barn.

Key SentencesKey Sentencescontinuedcontinued

• Topic 2: In addition, my nose encounters • an array of smells in the pastoral setting.

• Topic 3: Likewise, I hear a multitude of familiar sounds in the barn setting.

• Restatement of Thesis: Finally, many things bombard my senses as I do evening chores in the old

structure.



• Ask your reader a challenging question.

• Begin with an informative quotation.• Provide a dramatic, eye-opening

statement.• Open with some thoughtful dialogue

or an engaging story.• Identify the main points you plan to

cover.





Sample Descriptive Introduction

An old rusty barn stands at guard at the edge of a pasture filled with black and white horses. A meandering fence links this barn to the brick farm house. Generations of farming have run in my family, and this tradition continues with my own. Evening signals chores and time to be part of this symbol of hard work and family heritage. Many sights, sounds, and smells overwhelm my senses in this domestic building.

Developing the Middle

•The middle paragraphs in your draft should support your thesis. Make sure you use your planning notes (cluster and essay template) as a general guide for your writing.

•Remember your purpose is to describe.

Recipe forBody Paragraph

• Topic Sentence (general sentence introducing topic; use transition)

• 3-4 supporting sentences with specific examples from outer circles of cluster chart; use transitions to add new ideas; use figurative languaage

•Clincher Sentence (sums up or closes ideas of paragraph)








Some Transition Words•first, second, third, finally, in

addition, also, last, equally important, in the first place, likewise, besides, as a result, therefore, on the other hand, nevertheless, in conclusion

Writing the Conclusion• Restate the thesis sentence• Lead the reader out with general

statements much like in the introduction

• Use at least five sentences• Don’t just quit here; walk away

from it and come back and spend as much time on conclusion as on any other part

A simile is a comparison between two different things, designed to create an unusual, interesting, emotional or other effect often using words such as 'like' or 'as.’

Ex: sly as a fox

What is a simile?

What is a metaphor?

At its most basic, metaphor is a figure of speech, where a comparison is made between two seemingly unrelated objects without using "like" or "as." It is a transference of one object's characteristics onto another.

Example: All the world’s a stage

Example of Simile

The dice rolled out of the cup toward John like ____________.

. . . loose drifts of snow careening down a mountain during an avalanche.

Let’s Practice!

Directions: Please write all of the following sentences filling in the blanks. Re-word the sentence to create both a simile AND a metaphor.

1. The oars on the boat rowed as if _____________.

2. A child in __________ is like a ____________ in ___________.

3. The smoke swept through the gunshot holes in the train windows like _____________.

4. ___________ is like muscles stretched tight over bone.

5. She held her life in her own hands as

if it were _______________.

6. The prisoner walked up the plank as

if _______________.

7. Hannah poured coffee down her throat as if ____________.

8. James raced through his test like _________.

Let’s Share!

Narrative Narrative ClusteringClustering

BeginningBeginningSetting, background, Setting, background,

characterscharacters

EndEndResolution, Resolution,

clincherclincher

MiddleMiddleDetailsDetails

Writing a Short StoryPrewriting: Practice and

Apply

Develop a short story idea by planning a setting, plot, and characters; choosing a point of view; and considering ways to use stylistic devices.

Narrative ClusteringNarrative Clustering

BeginningBeginningSetting, background, Setting, background,

characterscharacters

EndEndResolution, Resolution,

clincherclincher

MiddleMiddleDetailsDetails

My Day as a HeroMy Day as a HeroU

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Myse

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Joh

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Sh

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Save John

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Save John

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Polic

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Wri

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healt

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Narrative Essay Narrative Essay TemplateTemplate

General Information

___________________

Sense 2

Sense 1

Sense 3

Restate Thesis

General Information

General Information

___________________

Detail 2

Detail 1

Detail 3, etc.

Refer to events in the story

Satisfying ending, zinger, completion

___________________

___________________

___________________

Controlling Controlling SentenceSentence

Narrative Essay Narrative Essay TemplateTemplate

General Information

___________________

Sense 2

Sense 1

Sense 3

Restate Thesis

General Information

General Information

___________________

Across the food court, John and I noticed a suspicious looking man eyeing us down.

John and I ate quickly so as to enjoy more time at the gaming shop.

As the shots rang out, I noticed a look of agony pass over John’s face. Etc.

A newspaper article recently published my heroic story of capturing a criminal and saving my friend’s life.

As each new day blossoms, I look forward to whatever heroic event

may pass my way.

___________________

___________________

___________________

Little did I know that a Little did I know that a heroic event approached.heroic event approached.

Narrative: BeginningNarrative: Beginning•Begin with a “grabber” to hook your reader

•Describe scene/background and setting

•Introduce characters•Last sentence of introduction should be the control sentence

Narrative: MiddleNarrative: Middle• Develop story with at least one

specific incident or happening• Keep your happenings in the correct

order for time• Include descriptions • Here is where your action takes place• A conversation works well here

*This is a good place for a simile or two or even a bit of humor

TransitionsTransitionscontinuedcontinued

•To indicate the order or sequence of events:

first of allmeanwhile followed bythen next beforeafter last finallyone month later one year later

External conflict—a character struggles against an outside force such as another character or the environment

Internal conflict—a character struggles against his or her own feelings.

The characters’ actions or decisions complicate the plot. They create the rising action that advances the plot to the climax.

Writing a Short StoryConflict

Putting words in their mouths—dialogue

Writing a Short StoryDialogue

“Look, mister. A salad is really much better for you than a hot dog. Here, try one. No charge.”

Interior monologue—shows unspoken thoughts

“I don’t care if it is free, I don’t like salad. And I don’t think that some street vendor has the right to tell me what I should eat!”

Exterior dialogue—what the characters say

Stylistic Devices

Figures of Speech

Metaphor—direct comparison of two unlike things.

The journalist is a hawk on the lookout for a story.

Simile—comparison of two unlike things using words such as like and as.

The free salad looked as fresh and inviting as a garden after a spring rain.

Personification—comparison that gives an object or animal human characteristics

The man’s red hat sat frowning above his angry eyes.

Writing a Short StoryConsider Style

Stylistic Devices

Imagery

Language that appeals to the senses

Red Hat hungrily imagined the sweet relish, the tangy sauerkraut, and that little blast of steam released whenever he took the first bite.

Irony

Contrast between appearances and reality

Amanda looked sad as new customers crowded around her cart. She would miss Red Hat.

Writing a Short StoryConsider Style

Narrative: EndNarrative: End•Bring story to a close, referring to events in the story for continuity

•Wrap it up with a satisfying ending, a zinger, or a humorous comment to leave your reader with a feeling of completion

Writer’s Checklist• Use the checklist to critique a peer’s

narrative.• Place a check beside each thing done,

but also make suggestions for things to improve.

• Write down the control sentence, or suggest one if one is not provided.

• List examples of transitions used, or suggest some if they are not used. *Check for use of dialogue, or make

suggestions if it is not used.

Avoid Redundancy and Repetition

• Here are some common expressions you may hear or use, but you can see why both or all words are not necessary but redundant.– Attach together -fall down– Basic fundamental -final result– Cover up -continue on– Cross over -in my opinion, I

think– Circle around -mix together– True facts -past experience

Purpose of Persuasive Essay

•To convince the reader to share your opinion or belief using logical reasons and supporting details.

Persuasive Persuasive ClusteringClustering

School Uniform

s

Decrease theft and violence

Decrease discipline problems

Decrease peer

pressure

More loyalty to school More pride in

school work

More concentration on academics

Less stress over what to wear

Everyone dressed alike

Fewer cases of fighting

Reduction of weapons

Less stealing of designer

clothes/shoes

More equality

Persuasive Essay Persuasive Essay TemplateTemplate

General Information

___________________

Sense 2

Sense 1

Sense 3

Restate Thesis

General Information

General Information

__________________

Reason 2

Reason 1

Reason 3

Restate Reasons

General Information

__________________

__________________

ThesisThesis

Reason 1

Formula for Writing a Formula for Writing a Thesis StatementThesis Statement

A specific topic+ about three particular features,

feelings, or stands------------------------------------

= an effective thesis statement.

Persuasive ThesisPersuasive Thesis Because they decrease discipline problems, issues of theft and violence, and peer pressure, school uniforms prove beneficial in many school systems.

Topic Sentences Topic Sentences for Body Paragraphsfor Body Paragraphs

To begin, uniforms promote well-disciplined students.

Secondly, school uniforms may promote fewer incidents of theft and violence.

Last, a mandatory dress code will reduce peer pressure among students.

Restatement of Restatement of ThesisThesis

In conclusion, schools will benefit from fewer problems in the areas of discipline problems, issues of theft and violence, and peer pressure

Persuasive Beginning

•Introduction tells the reader about your opinion. Avoid “I think,” or “I believe.” You don’t want to appear biased.

•Thesis statement clearly states your opinion.



• Ask your reader a challenging question.

• Begin with an informative quotation.• Provide a dramatic, eye-opening

statement.• Open with some thoughtful dialogue

or an engaging story.• Identify the main points you plan to

cover.





Sample Persuasive Introduction

“Good morning! Stonehill High. How may I direct your call?” “You can let me speak to the person who has nothing better to do

than dream up the idea of forcing my child to wear a ridiculous uniform to school. Who do they think they are at that school anyway? Deciding what my child should wear to school! It’s hard enough to get him to go to school now without having to make him wear something he hates! You can direct me to the instigator of this crazy idea, so I can give him a piece of my mind!”

“Hold, please, and I’ll connect you.” This parent seems to be angry about the idea of school uniforms.

Even though some teachers offer no opinion and some view them as just something else to enforce, many teachers think uniforms would be a plus because so many students dress inappropriately. Although it remains a controversial subject, many feel that school uniforms are needed now, and the unbelievers are likely to change their minds once they see the positive results that wearing uniforms can produce. Because they decrease discipline problems, issues of theft and violence, and peer pressure, school uniforms prove beneficial in many school systems.

Parts to a Body Paragraph• Topic Sentence (from essay

template)• Supporting Detail Sentences (at

least three which should come from outer circles on cluster

• Clincher Sentence (which sums up topic sentence

• Use transitions within this paragraph (examples: also, furthermore, in addition, likewise, etc.)








Remember to UseTransition Words

•first, second, third, finally, in addition, also, last, equally important, in the first place, likewise, besides, as a result, therefore, on the other hand, nevertheless, in conclusion

Persuasive Middle•Each paragraph should tell the reader of one reason to support your opinion.

•The essay should have three reasons ranked from least to greatest of importance

to support your opinion.

Persuasive End• Restate the thesis statement in the conclusion.• You should have at least five sentences in the

last paragraph. It is as important as the introduction. • Remember to have a direct or implied call to

action• Remember to add a clincher to the last sentence.

Revision of Essays

•Choose from the following:•Descriptive•Expository•Narrative•Persuasive

Use TransitionsUse TransitionsTransitions make it clearer to the reader that the writer

is sticking to the topic. They establish an

organizational pattern and make the essay or story

more coherent and flowing.


• To add additional information or facts:

as well and additionallybesides also tooin addition another furthermoremoreover


•To indicate the order or sequence of events:

first of allmeanwhile followed bythen next beforeafter last finallyone month later one year later


•To list things in order of importance:

first second next lastfinally more importantlymore significantly above all

primarily


•To connect one idea to a fact or illustration:

for example for instanceto illustrate this can be seen


• To indicate an effect or result:

as a result thusconsequently eventually

therefore


• To indicate that one idea is opposite of another:

nonetheless however yetthough but althougheven though in contrast unlikediffering from instead whereasnevertheless despite regardless of on the contrary on the other hand


•To compare on thing to another:

in a different sense similarlylikewise similar tolike conversely

just as

Writer’s PizzazzWriter’s Pizzazz Using the following techniques

will keep readers and ADAW judges hooked and interested

and will, in turn, get better scores.

•Anecdote – a story within a story to catch the reader’s

fancy

Writer’s Pizzazz Writer’s Pizzazz continuedcontinued

• Catchy title – a title that creates interest or arouses curiosity

• Dialogue – this can come in many forms, with or without a tag. It can be repartee (quick and witty), in vernacular (the language of the people), or just an

ordinary conversation.


• Figurative language – personification, similes, metaphors, alliteration, onomatopoeia, oxymorons

• Foreign language – if a writer knows a bit of a foreign language, a commonly known phrase for example, like Bonjour, can be very effective


• Grabber or hook – this is a way of introducing an essay or story that wakes up the reader, grabs his/her attention, and makes him/her want to read more. A grabber can be in the form of a question, a quick dialogue of some sort (usually untagged), onomatopoeia, a quote, etc.


•Humor – this can be a witty phrase, a short joke, a funny incident that is related to the story or essay, or anything that would amuse the reader

•Literary allusion – referring to commonly known books is

always effective


•Nitty-gritty detail – detail can come in many forms, but no broad statement should be made without being followed by detail that lets you know what the statement is about. This can be followed by a brief story, a description, an anecdote, a list of attributes, etc.


• Painting word pictures – strong, active verbs evoke vivid descriptions that paint pictures so clear that the reader has no trouble imagining it in his or her mind

• Sensory words - words that elucidate writing like, “The tangy

smell of pungent salsa permeated the room.”


•Quotes – the use of quotes whether from the author, from people the author knows, or from well-known people is always a good way to add pizzazz. “To be or not to be, that is the question.” --Shakespeare


• “showing, not telling” – this is a technique used to avoid vague statements like “The girl was frightened.” Instead, a frightened girl is “shown” to the reader. For example, “The frightened girl quivered as her knees knocked together, her throat closed up, and her mouth lost all moisture. She could not even scream her terror.”


•Sound words – sound words can mimic any sound you hear. For example, toot toot for the sound of a tugboat or thbbth for a “raspberry.” These are also called onomatopoeia.

•Strong, active verbs – these verbs say “The cat sprawled in the chair.”

rather than “The cat was in the chair.”


• Threading a theme throughout – this would be like the song that identifies the dwarves in “Snow White” or the web in Charlotte’s Web that is mentioned on almost every page.

• Zinger – this is an ending that zings the reader so that he/she is surprised, provoked to think, or made to laugh or cry

Introduction•Has a strong topic statement•Thesis statement is obvious

to the reader•Beginning is interesting and

draws the reader in.

Development• Uses supporting details from

the stories• Clearly states each topic

characteristic• Each paragraph stays on the

topic and details are elaborated

Organization• Uses transitions• Follows logical order in topic

development• Essay contains an introduction

paragraph, body paragraphs, and conclusion paragraph.

Style•Use of strong verbs•Displays appropriate spelling,

grammar and punctuation•Limit use of dead verbs•Use a variety of sentences

Conclusion• Has a strong summary

sentence• Restates main points of the

essay• Includes supporting details• Reminds the reader of the

overall point of your essay

Remember• Paragraphs must be 4-5 sentences

long• Use transition words in body and

conclusion paragraphs• Introduction and conclusion must

be in paragraph form (more than 1 or 2 sentences)

Documents

Essay Scoring 1.Purpose 2.Audience 3.Content 4.Organization/Clarity